madmatt2002

WWF Smackdown 4/5/01: Brothers Of Destruction vs Right To Censor. Match Background: This will be a 3 on 2 handicap bout. Brothers Of Destruction are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. Kane is the reigning WWF Hardcore champion, and has been since 31 March 2001. The Match: Steven hits a back kick, doubling Undertakerover. Undertaker charges into the corner, but EATS BOOT and staggers backward. Steven tags out to Bull Buchanan. Steven \ Buchanan whip Undertaker into the ropes and hit a double backdrop. Covers for a quick two count. Undertaker backdrops Bull Buchanan out of a piledriver attempt. That took a lot out of Undertaker. Undertaker DDTs Buchanan, but it just looked terrible. Undertaker tags out to Kane. Death valley driver (not to be confused with the DVD 500) by Kane connects and Bull Buchanan is down! Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Buchanan takes a headbutt from Kane. Kane gets taken down out of nowhere! Buchanan tags out to Steven Richards. Flying shoulder tackle by Steven sends Kane CRASHING to the mat. Tag between Steven Richards and Goodfather. Goodfather scoops up Kane. Steven bounces off the ropes and hits a flying Hart Attack clothesline. There's a two count on the pin. Goodfather DDTs Kane, but it just looked terrible. Hooks the leg for a two count. Kane pushes out of a Goodfather hold. Kane scoops and slams Goodfather. What's the difference between a scoop slam and a body slam anyway? Godfather reverses a waistlock. Tag to Bull Buchanan. Kane receives some punishment by Bull Buchanan but with that horrid offense, we're the only ones truly being punished. Weak bodyslam on Kane by Buchanan sets up a legdrop. Hooks the leg for a two count. Sloppy discus punch from Bull Buchanan barely connects on Kane. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Buchanan tags out to Goodfather. Buchanan \ Godfather whip Kane into the ropes and hit a double backdrop. Kane takes a right hand to the temple from Godfather. Kane avoids a Goodfather avalanche by getting out of the damn way! Tag between Kane and Undertaker. Big clothesline from Undertaker. Godfather tags out to Bull Buchanan. Bull Buchanan takes a right hand to the temple from Undertaker. Undertaker hits a piledriver on Bull Buchanan. I know I wouldn't let someone that bad give me a piledriver. Tag to Steven Richards. Undertaker hits a right hand on Steven Richards. Steven reverses a Undertaker hammerlock. Brutal sit out powerbomb on Undertaker! Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Steven Richards misses a clothesline. Tag between Undertaker and Kane. Fallaway slam by Kane puts down Steven Richards. Spinebuster by Kane. Tag between Kane and Undertaker. Brothers Of Destruction whip Steven into the ropes and hit a double clothesline. Steven Richards can barely stand. Last Ride! 1....2....3. My Opinion: All you deserve for this is *. That DOESN'T mean that you're a deputy or a cop or whatever. Overall:67 Crowd Reaction:68 Match Quality:66 Vince McMahon comes out and talks. He then suspends the Rock. 96 Chyna talks about winning the Woman's Title back at Wrestlemania. 65 K-Kwik vs Rhyno. Match Background: None. The Match: STIFF~! chop lights up K-Kwik who covers up to try and stop the agonizing PAIN! BAAACK Body drop by K-Kwik gets a bit of a pop from the crowd. Covers for a quick two count. K-Kwik counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Rhyno takes a flying neckbreaker from K-Kwik. Rhyno walks into a high dropkick from K-Kwik, almost losing several teeth in the process. Second rope flying axe handle, Rhyno goes down. One day, K-Kwik might even consider coming off the top with that. You know...for more impact and stuff. K-Kwik drops an elbow...but Rhyno moves out of the way. Spear by Rhyno. K-Kwik can barely stand. GORE! 1....2....3. Crash Holly comes running down the aisle, and gets into the ring! Rhyno is ready though, and strikes first! Rhyno spins Crash around. Rhyno hits the GORE! Crash Holly has been left down on the canvas. The attempted ambush has backfired. My Opinion: Ohh, looky. A **3/4 match! Overall:79 Crowd Reaction:77 Match Quality:81 Chris Benoit vs Kurt Angle and William Regal. Match Background: This will be a 2 on 1 handicap bout. The Match: Chris Benoit kicks the leg, knocks Regal down, and goes to work on it. Second rope flying axe handle, Angle goes down. One day, Benoit might even consider coming off the top with that. You know...for more impact and stuff. Superkick by Chris Benoit practically knocks out all of Kurt Angle's teeth! Covers for a quick two count. Regal takes a flying neckbreaker from Chris Benoit. Regal powers out of a headlock. Regal \ Angle whip Benoit into the corner. William Regal whips Kurt Angle in for a hard clothesline to follow-up. Angle drives a thrust kick into the chest of Benoit. Gutwrench into a powerbomb, aka the Doctor Bomb and Benoit hits hard. Angle \ Regal whip Benoit into the ropes and hit a double back elbow. Hooks the leg for a two count. Front legsweep slam aka The Stroke by William Regal. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Spinning back kick from Chris Benoit. Angle slams Chris Benoit down and motions to the crowd. Angle \ Regal whip Benoit into the corner. Kurt Angle whips William Regal in for a hard clothesline to follow-up. Covers for a quick two count. William Regal connects with a HARD right hand, sending the opponent down to the mat again. Benoit counters a backdrop attempt with a kick to the face and hit a clothesline! Kurt Angle misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. SHINING WIZARD~! on Angle by Benoit! Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Super kick by Kurt Angle. Regal \ Angle whip Benoit into the corner. William Regal whips Kurt Angle in for a hard clothesline to follow-up. Kurt Angle has Chris Benoit down on the canvas. Chris Benoit gets locked in the Ankle Lock! Submission victory! My Opinion: Almost got a **** match, but was lacking in certain areas, so i'm knocking off a quarter of a star. Yes, there is such a thing as a quarter star. ***3/4. Overall:82 Crowd Reaction:75 Match Quality:90 Big Show vs Jeff Hardy. Match Background: None. The Match: Flying reverse elbow by Jeff Hardy. Vicious kick to the teeth from Jeff Hardy. Show walks into a face crusher variation. Has anyone's face ever really been crushed by one though? Pin, but Show is out just before the three count. Flying elbow from Jeff Hardy connects. There's a two count on the pin. Big Show once again takes the advantage after blocking a few punches and connecting with some forearms. Show slams Jeff Hardy down. Jeff is sure in trouble now. Big clothesline from Show. Jeff counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Show takes a NICE hurrancarana from Jeff Hardy. Matt Hardy comes running down the aisle and onto the apron! Show turns...and is dropped throat-first onto the top rope by Matt! Matt Hardy has left Show in big trouble. Jeff Hardy floors Big Show...and climbs the turnbuckles. Swanton Bomb!!! 1....2....3!! It's all over. My Opinion: 1/4*. Be happy it's not a DUD. Overall:69 Crowd Reaction:76 Match Quality:53 Billy Gunn, Grand Masta Sexay, and Steve Blackman vs X-Factor. Match Background: None. The Match: Justin Credible hits a right hand on Billy Gunn and follows it up with a couple more. Justin Credible with a badly-executed spinning neckbreaker on Billy. One more performed that badly and this match will end on a bad note, if you get my drift. Credible tags out to X-Pac. Hard back suplex on Billy. Come to think of it, that move had WAY too much power in No Mercy for N64. SUPER frankensteiner on Billy, who hit hard and is loopy as a result. Covers for a quick two count. Tag between X-Pac and Albert. X-Factor II whip Billy into the corner. X-Pac whips Albert in for a hard clothesline to follow-up. Big kick from Albert staggers Billy but that's about it. Billy blocks the suplex attempt and is able to hit the suplex instead! Billy Gunn hits a right hand on Albert. Tag to Grand Masta Sexay. Rude Awakening neckbreaker on Albert by Sexay. Remember when that was a legit finish? Springboard dropkick from Grand Masta Sexay. Nicely done. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Second rope flying axe handle, Albert goes down. One day, Sexay might even consider coming off the top with that. You know...for more impact and stuff. Tag to Steve Blackman. Steve Blackman connects with rights and lefts and Albert is down! Running knee lift from Steve Blackman. Albert elbows Steve Blackman in the face to break a hammerlock. Tag between Albert and Justin Credible. Big kick from Credible staggers Blackman but that's about it. Tag between Steve Blackman and Billy Gunn. Billy Gunn hits Credible. Billy Gunn misses a clothesline. Billy Gunn is in trouble. Super Kick! 1....2....3. My Opinion: *1\2 rating is all it gets from me. Overall:68 Crowd Reaction:67 Match Quality:69 Jim Ross attempts to get some answers but Stone Cold beats him up for asking too tough questions for his own good. 94 Chris Jericho vs Triple H. Match Background: This match is for the WWF Intercontinental title. Chris Jericho has been WWF Intercontinental champion since 21 January 2001. The Match: Triple H hits a bulldog off the ropes. Massive lariat! Stan Hansen would approve. High Angle DDT by Triple H just SPIKES Chris Jericho down! Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! BAAACK Body drop by Jericho gets a bit of a pop from the crowd. Hooks the leg for a two count. Jericho powers out of a headlock. A Gut buster connects on HHH and hits hard. Flying cross body off the top rope! Triple H pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Full nelson slam on Jericho. William Regal comes running down the aisle and onto the apron! Jericho turns...and is dropped throat-first onto the top rope by Regal! William Regal has left Jericho in big trouble. Chris Jericho is in trouble. Pedigree! 1....2....3. Triple H remains in the ring, celebrating the victory. My Opinion: I can be generous sometimes. Well, depends on your definition of generous. **1/4. Overall:73 Crowd Reaction:70 Match Quality:76 Overall:72

Climax for 1/14/04: Youthanazia vs Hardcore Homo Angel and Supreme. Match Background: This match is for the XPW Tag Team titles. Hardcore Homo Angel is the reigning XPW King Of The Deathmatch champion, and has been since 07 January 2004. Youthanazia have been XPW Tag Team champions since 07 January 2004. The Match: Supreme strikes Josh Prohibition. Supreme strikes Josh Prohibition with a hard blow. Covers for a quick two count. Tag between Supreme and Hardcore Homo Angel. Supreme \ Angel whip JP into the corner. Supreme whips Hardcore Homo Angel in for a hard clothesline to follow-up. Hooks the leg for a two count. Angel slams Josh Prohibition down. JP is sure in trouble now. JP backdrops Hardcore Homo Angel out of a piledriver attempt. That took a lot out of Josh Prohibition. Flying cross body off the top rope! Hooks the leg for a two count. JP tags out to Matt Cross. Angel takes a NICE hurrancarana from Matt Cross. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! THERE IT IS! A legdrop to the BACK OF THE HEAD! I swear, that makes any match just a little bit better. I don't mind telling you that every time I see it, that's for sure. Hardcore Homo Angel reverses a hip toss. Running clothesline from Hardcore Homo Angel was actually MIGHTY sloppy. Tag to Supreme. Cross hits a punch, but takes one right back. Again! A slugfest erupts in the ring! Tag to Josh Prohibition. Weak bodyslam on JP by Supreme sets up a legdrop. Supreme floors Josh Prohibition...and climbs the turnbuckles. Through the air, Mecca Toad Splash! 1....2....3. My Opinion: *1/4 rating. Don't be upset. There are people in third world countries who can barely afford one star, let alone one and a quarter. Overall:58 Crowd Reaction:44 Match Quality:73 The Running Buddies have won the XPW Tag Team Titles. Supreme strikes double gold. That is just Supremely Supreme. Of yeah and so does The Hardcore Homo. He is both the XPW King of the Death Match and Tag Team Champions. Lizzy Borden is talking to 8 of the 10 wrestlers in the Over the Top Battle Royal. She DEMANDS that all the wrestler's jump over the top rope so she can win the XPW TV Title or she will have a midget rape them. Lizzy Borden is the 9th entrant. Bookers putting belts on themselves. How revolutionary? Lizzy also said that The Blue Meanie is going to be the 10th man in. But we cut to another section backstage and the Blue Meanie is tied up with a banana in his mouth. Did Lizzy forget to untie him after filiming some porn or something. 39 Joey Abs and Pete Gas are signing the contract for the Streetfight at 5 MPH. Joey Abs cheapshots Pete and breaks a bottle of viagra over his head. Joey tells him maybe that will help him get layed. Joey Abs now thrusts his crotch at the camera. Overall:35 10 Man Battle Royal. Match Background: This match is for the XPW Television title. The Match: Axl gets splashed in the corner. Axl Rotten got tossed over the top rope to the floor HARD by Pogo. (Elimination # 1) Forearm to the face from Gowan on Steiner. Gowan hits an arm drag on Steiner, follows it up with about 3 more and locks in an armbar for good measure. Zach Gowan arm drags Doring over and locks on an armbar. Gowan hits a short arm drag on Doring. Zach Gowan arm drags Doring over and locks on an armbar. Gowan went for the elimination, but Danny Doring held on to the ropes at the last possible second! Vic Grimes connects with rights and lefts and Justice Pain is down! Justice Pain got tossed over the top rope to the floor HARD by Grimes. (Elimination # 2) Throat chop by Borden does nothing but remind me of the Samoan Wrestling Family Tree. Borden threw Rick Steiner over the top rope, but Rick Steiner skinned the cat to save himself! Danny Doring snap suplexes Chetti. Chris Chetti got eliminated by Doring. (Elimination # 3) Zach Gowan strikes Grimes. Vic Grimes got tossed over the top rope to the floor HARD by Gowan. (Elimination # 4) Borden hits a quick kick on Steiner, only for Steiner to pop back up and eat another one. Chop from Borden on Steiner in the corner sends Steiner reeling out. Flying elbow from Zach Gowan, grazing the target slightly. Gowan went for the elimination, but Pogo The Clown held on to the ropes at the last possible second! Forearm to the face from Gowan on JT. Gowan threw JT Smith over the top rope, but JT Smith skinned the cat to save himself! Pogo The Clown strikes Rick Steiner. Pogo tried to eliminate Rick Steiner, who hung onto the top rope for dear life! Pogo takes a chop from Gowan. Gowan face jams Pogo The Clown. Zach Gowan arm drags Doring over and locks on an armbar. Gowan threw Danny Doring all the way over the top rope to the floor. No question about that one. (Elimination # 5) Gowan snapmares Rick Steiner and goes for the DREADED chinlock. Zach Gowan blasts Steiner with a superkick. Weak slam from Steiner sets Gowan for something, but if it was as weak as that slam, then Gowan has no worries. Zach Gowan got bundled out by Steiner. (Elimination # 6) Uninspiring brawling from Rick Steiner. Check them brawlin' stats, boy. Pogo The Clown got tossed over the top rope to the floor HARD by Steiner. (Elimination # 7) Borden hits an arm drag on Steiner, followed by about 3 BILLION more. Borden tried to eliminate Rick Steiner, who hung onto the top rope for dear life! JT takes a snap suplex from Lizzy Borden. Needs a little more 'umph' though. JT Smith got bundled out by Borden. (Elimination # 8) BIG clothesline from Borden. 'BIG' because it missed by a mile! Lizzy Borden with an enziguri. That reminds me...R.I.P, Owen Hart. Steiner counters a sleeper with a jaw breaker and is able to get free! Lizzy Borden got tossed over the top rope to the floor HARD by Steiner. My Opinion: Bad match which brought absolutely nothing to the table and was a waste of time. DUD. Overall:56 Crowd Reaction:51 Match Quality:53 Rick Steiner has beat up the Blue Meanie and took his place in the battle royal. He throws Lizzy over the top rope to win the XPW Television Title. A bit of revenge for Lizzy screwing him(heh heh) out of the 10 Minute Time Limit Title on Tussels with TAssles. Now an XPW falls in the possession of DDW. Lizzy is NOT too happy. In fact she makes a title for title match between Supreme and Rick Steiner at 5 MPH. Whomever wins gets both belts. One belt will come back to it's proper home. 32 Overall:28 0.85 Rating for Climax.

Tussels with Tassels for 1/10/04. Mr. Warrior comes out. He is depressed. There is a PPV is 8 days but he hasn't bothered to book anything yet. This XPW thing has got on his mind. SOMEONE in his corporation is a spy. He is going to get to the bottom of this. Mr. Warrior said he has hired a private investigator. In comes INSPECTOR SCOTT STEINER~~~~! complete with dorky hat, trench coat, and smoking a pipe. He says that he will get to the bottom of this. He worked on the Triple H is being stalked case before and he will work on who is the spy in Mr. Warrior's corporation. The first suspect:Jack Victory, the coffee boy. 59 Jack Victory vs Inspector Scott Steiner. Match Background: Steiner is making his debut at this show. The Match: Jack Victory takes a right hand to the temple from Steiner. I bet those hurt more than Sgt. Slaughter's Noogies. Steiner slams Jack Victory down. Victory is sure in trouble now. Covers for a quick two count. Steiner walks into a drop toe hold. Victory slams Inspector Scott Steiner down. Steiner is sure in trouble now. Steiner hits a punch, but takes one right back. Again! A slugfest erupts in the ring! Weak bodyslam on Steiner by Victory sets up a legdrop. Steiner reverses a Jack Victory hammerlock. Powerslam from Inspector Scott Steiner on Victory. Jack Victory can barely stand. Here it comes - Baffling Move. 1....2...3, it's finished. Inspector Scott Steiner slides to the outside and grabs a chair, then climbs back into the ring. Victory turns around...and gets planted with a huge chair shot to the head! He is left down and out on the canvas. My Opinion: DUD. I refuse to say any more about it. Overall:46 Crowd Reaction:54 Crowd Reaction:50 Inspector Scott Steiner says that it isn't Jack Victory because their isn't any unusual warts or rashes on him. That is the price for sleeping with Lizzy Borden who is like a cake. Everyone gets a piece. Brian Knobbs vs Hack Meyers. Match Background: This will be a hardcore bout. Shah is making his debut at this show. This match is for the Hardcore title. Brian Knobbs has been Hardcore champion since 12 November 2003. The Match: Brian Knobbs hits a sloppy ass bulldog off the ropes. Brian Knobbs drives a table into Shah. Sloppy discus punch from Brian Knobbs barely connects on Shah. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Brian Knobbs punches away at Hack Meyers. There's a two count on the pin. Hack Meyers avoids a Brian Knobbs avalanche by getting out of the damn way! Brian Knobbs takes a right hand to the temple from Shah. Hack Meyers hits a sloppy double axe handle off the top. Brian Knobbs reverses a hip toss. Brian Knobbs DDTs Shah in a move that is so poorly executed, you can actually see that Hack Meyers's head didn't touch the mat at all. Brian Knobbs moves in for the kill. Powerslam!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! My Opinion: A DUD here would have actually been generous! -* Overall:43 Crowd Reaction:51 Match Quality:43 Brian Knobbs with another sucessful title defense. He has been the Hardcore Champion for a FULL two MONTHS. That is pretty long for wrestling standars. No apperence of the Other Rocker. Lex Luger is out. He wants answers and HE WANTS THEM NOW. He wants a title shot. Out comes Mr. Warrior. He says that Lex had to look at the fine print of the contract for Rockin' New Year Warrior. It had a NO rematch clause. Luger is pissed but what can he do about it. Luger also asks why Mr. Warrior had Lizzy Borden stick her stable of jobbers on him last week. Mr. Warrior says that Luger has no right to question his greatness. Lex Luger floors Mr. Warrior with a clothesline. Lex Luger now kicks and punches Mr. Warrior. Running Forearm Smash of DOOM. Luger rolls to the outside and grabs a steel chair. He smashes it over the back of the Warrior multiple times. Out come the police and Luger decks a cop with a chair. That will cost him. Lex Luger gets handcuffed and led off. Not like it hasn't happened before but still. Warrior is spitting up blood and he most likely won't be able to run the show for the rest of the night. 58 Ahmed Johnson vs Bobby Eaton. Match Background: None. The Match: Ahmed Johnson connects with some weak punches on Bobby Eaton. Ahmed Johnson hits a BIG clothesline for two! There's a two count on the pin. Bobby Eaton fights out of a grapple. Ahmed takes a vertical suplex from Bobby Eaton. Ahmed receives a spinning neckbreaker from Eaton. Ahmed Johnson walks into a chop to the pecs. Ouchy. Ahmed reverses a waistlock. Messed up bodyslam by Ahmed almost kills Eaton. Ahmed Johnson moves in for the kill. Pearl River Plunge!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! My Opinion: A DUD here would have actually been generous! -* Overall:36 Crowd Reaction:36 MAtch Quality:44 Nice to see Ahmed back in form nearly murdering Bobby Eaton with a bodyslam. Ahmed is back and you better watch out. YA GOBIN DAWN. XPW is backstage. Sure they snuck in the minute Mr. Warrior had to leave for medical attention. They walk up to Vader. They want to offer him a spot in the fed. Vader spits at Lizzy and Vader gets beat up by the XPW Jobbers. There goes Vader's cred. Vader is out. Mr. Warrior is gone. Lex Luger is in the some jail cell. Vader is out. XPW is slowly taking over the show. 62 Ron Simmons vs Marty Jannetty. Match Background: None. The Match: Jannetty hits a short arm drag on Simmons. Badly executed second rope splash by Jannetty. Hooks the leg for a two count. Marty Jannetty misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. Jannetty receives some punishment by Ron Simmons but with that horrid offense, we're the only ones truly being punished. Jannetty takes a vertical suplex, but pops right back up. Big clothesline from Simmons. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Powerslam from Ron Simmons on Jannetty. Ron Simmons gets taken down out of nowhere! Marty Jannetty uses a running dropkick into the corner. That was just...ugh. Badly executed second rope splash by Jannetty. Ron Simmons avoids a Marty Jannetty avalanche by getting out of the damn way! Rodney Mack comes running down the aisle and into the ring! Marty Jannetty turns around. Rodney Mack drops Jannetty to the canvas. Rodney Mack quickly locks on the Blackout! Mack leaves the ring, the damage done! ONE...TWO...THREE. Simmons defeats Jannetty. Marty Jannetty goes on the rampage, firing off stiff shots to both Ron Simmons and Rodney Mack, who take the hint and swiftly leave the ring for their own safety. My Opinion: When I give out 3/4*, it means that I'm being REALLY nice about it. Overall:56 Crowd Reaction:64 Match Quality:61 Marty Jannetty fights off both of Theodore Long's men. Marty is the next white boy targetted by the looks of it, Playa. Ron Simmons is undefeated still. No mention of Knobbs vs Jannetty. I think that is now a dropped storyline. Bradshaw and Alex Wright are lying backstage with members of the invading XPW group standing above them. Apperently Hacksaw Bradshaw was going to drag Alex Wright to the shower to break him in and Lizzy wanted a piece of the action but Bradshaw refused. So they got beat up. Lizzy is going to take over the show now. Ricky Morton vs Alex Wright?? Not any more. Try Hardcore Homo Angel vs Ricky Morton for the XPW King of the Death Match tItle. Hacksaw Bradshaw vs Gangrel. Not any more Try Matt Cross vs Gangrel. Vader vs Rick Steiner. Not any more. Try Rick Steiner defending the 10 Minute Time Limit Title against Supreme. XPW World Champion Joey Abs and Lizzy Borden take over commentary duties. 53 Hardcore Homo Angel vs Ricky Morton. Match Background: This will be a falls count anywhere bout. This match is for the XPW King Of The Deathmatch title. Hardcore Homo Angel has been XPW King Of The Deathmatch champion since 07 January 2004. The Match: Angel strikes away at Ricky Morton, not doing much damage at all. Angel chair shots Ricky Morton. Hardcore Homo Angel hits Morton. Covers for a quick two count. Weak bodyslam on Morton by Angel sets up a legdrop. Hooks the leg for a two count. Angel walks into a drop toe hold. A kick from Morton is delivered to the leg. There's a two count on the pin. Flying elbow off the top rope by Ricky Morton, getting as close to zero air as possible. Angel ducks a wild right hand. Hardcore Homo Angel blasts Morton with a superkick. Supreme comes running down the aisle and onto the apron! Morton turns...and is dropped throat-first onto the top rope by Supreme! Supreme has left Morton in big trouble. Hardcore Homo Angel moves in for the kill. Here it comes - Circumsizer. 1....2...3, it's finished. Angel and Supreme beat away on Ricky Morton, leaving him spread-eagled on the canvas. My Opinion: *1\2 rating is all it gets from me. Overall:55 Crowd Reaction:50 Match Quality:74 Angel retains the title with help of his running buddy, Supreme. XPW:1. DDW:0. Gangrel vs Matt Cross. Match Background: None. The Match: Gangrel takes a NICE hurrancarana from Matt Cross. Tor-NADO DDT from Matt Cross, Gangrel got planted! Back heel kick off the second rope, Gangrel goes down. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Hard back suplex on Gangrel. Come to think of it, that move had WAY too much power in No Mercy for N64. Hooks the leg for a two count. Gangrel backdrops Matt Cross out of a piledriver attempt. That took a lot out of Gangrel. Gangrel hits a right hand on Matt Cross. Gangrel hits a piledriver on Matt Cross. I know I wouldn't let someone that bad give me a piledriver. Gangrel misses a clothesline. Flying cross body off the top rope! Josh Prohibition comes running down the aisle and onto the apron! Gangrel turns...and is dropped throat-first onto the top rope by JP! Josh Prohibition has left Gangrel in big trouble. Matt Cross has Gangrel down on the canvas and is ascending the corner. Leap of Faith!!! 1....2....3!! It's all over. Cross and JP tie Gangrel up in the ropes, then start punching away at him until referees run down and break it up. My Opinion: I'll give a 1\2* rating because they were actually able to hit a couple of spots. Overall:45 Crowd Reaction:37 Match Quality:65 The XPW Tag Team Champions beat the hell out of Gangrel in the first match which may or may not have been better than the scheduled Gangrel vs Hacksaw Bradshaw. XPW:2 DDW:0. Rick Steiner vs Supreme. Match Background: Supreme is making his debut at this show. This match is for the 10 Minute Time Limit title. Rick Steiner has been 10 Minute Time Limit champion since 20 September 2003. The Match: Supreme DDTs Steiner, but it just looked terrible. Supreme DDTs Rick Steiner. Supreme DDTs Rick Steiner. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Running clothesline from Supreme was actually MIGHTY sloppy. Hooks the leg for a two count. Steiner backdrops Supreme out of a piledriver attempt. That took a lot out of Rick Steiner. Rick Steiner hits a BIG clothesline for two! BIG clothesline from Steiner. 'BIG' because it missed by a mile! Rick Steiner gets taken down out of nowhere! Supreme hits a piledriver on Rick Steiner. I know I wouldn't let someone that bad give me a piledriver. Hardcore Homo Angel comes running down the aisle and into the ring! Rick Steiner turns around. Hardcore Homo Angel spins Steiner around. Hardcore Homo Angel hits the Circumsizer! Angel leaves the ring, the damage done! ONE...TWO...THREE. Supreme defeats Steiner. Supreme and Angel are putting the boots to Rick Steiner! Inspector Scott Steiner comes running down the aisle with a chair! He slides in, sending Supreme \ Angel running for cover. Inspector Scott Steiner saved Steiner from a major beating. My Opinion: DUD. That's about all I can say without getting into obsenities. Overall:48 Crowd Reaction:56 Match Quality:52 Supreme wins the 10 Minute Time Limit Title. The title belt has defected to XPW. With a little help from his running buddy, The Hardcore Homo Angel. Inspector Scott Steiner saves his brother from a beating. What will happen on Climax? Will DDW wrestlers invade XPW's turf? I don't know because I can't find my napkin again. Overall:50 0.38 Rating for Tussels with Tassels.

WWF Raw 4/2/01: Out comes the Rock and he wants a rematch from Wrestlemania. Vince comes out and Rock beats him up. Stone Cold accepts the rematch inside a cage TONIGHT. 98 Bradshaw, Faarooq, and Test vs The Radicalz. Match Background: Eddie Guerrero is the reigning WWF European champion, and has been since 31 March 2001. The Match: Test strikes Perry Saturn. Test with a badly-executed spinning neckbreaker on Saturn. One more performed that badly and this match will end on a bad note, if you get my drift. Test tags out to Faarooq. Faarooq hits a right hand on Perry Saturn. Faarooq hits an ugly looking bulldog off the ropes. Covers for a quick two count. Tag to Bradshaw. A.P.A. whip Saturn into the ropes and hit a double backdrop. Saturn takes a vertical suplex, but pops right back up. Saturn counters a sleeper with a jaw breaker and is able to get free! Rude Awakening neckbreaker on Bradshaw by Saturn. Remember when that was a legit finish? Saturn tags out to Dean Malenko. Malenko uses a basement dropkick to the knee and it looks like it might be TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL~! Springboard dropkick from Dean Malenko. Nicely done. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! THERE IT IS! A legdrop to the BACK OF THE HEAD! I swear, that makes any match just a little bit better. I don't mind telling you that every time I see it, that's for sure. Tag between Dean Malenko and Eddie Guerrero. Eddie hits a HARD spinning kick to the jaw. Bradshaw takes a flying neckbreaker from Eddie Guerrero. Eddie Guerrero misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. Bradshaw tags out to Test. Big kick from Test staggers Eddie but that's about it. Tag between Eddie Guerrero and Perry Saturn. Trying to channel the spirit of Misawa, Perry Saturn ends up chanelling Lex Luger instead and nails a running forearm to the face, minus the steel plate, of course. Test powers out of a headlock. Test moves in for the kill. Here it comes - Big Boot. 1....2...3, it's finished. My Opinion: Smack dab in the middle of the star spectrum for an average match. **1\2. Overall:75 Crowd Reaction:72 Match Quality:79 Stephanie McMahon vs Trish Stratus. Match Background: None. The Match: Stephanie McMahon hits a BIG clothesline for two! Stephanie McMahon hits a bulldog off the ropes. Covers for a quick two count. Trish counters a backdrop attempt with a kick to the face and hit a clothesline! Steph hits a punch, but takes one right back. Again! A slugfest erupts in the ring! Big kick from Trish staggers Steph but that's about it. Covers for a quick two count. Trish DDTs Stephanie McMahon. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Trish hits a spinning back kick. All those spinning kicks look alike, don't they. Trish Stratus misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. Powerslam from Stephanie McMahon on Trish. There's a two count on the pin. Steph DDTs Trish Stratus. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Stephanie McMahon hits a weak elbow on Trish Stratus. BORING ass brawling from Steph. Trish reverses a Stephanie McMahon hammerlock. Face crusher from Trish on Steph sets up for an elbowdrop. Swan dive headbutt from Trish but without much elevation on the move. Trish Stratus signals for the Stratusfaction! William Regal comes out of the crowd! He grabs the leg of Trish Stratus and drags her out of the ring. The referee has no option but to call for the DQ! Meanwhile, Trish Stratus gets sent crashing into the ring post! Steph \ Regal are beating down on Trish Stratus! The music of Chris Jericho hits, and he comes running down the aisle into the ring. Steph and Regal bail out of the ring, leaving Trish Stratus down in the ring. Chris Jericho may have saved Trish Stratus from a brutal beating. My Opinion: -*. Somehow, you actually took AWAY from any enjoyment I could have had watching this. Overall:73 Crowd Reaction:90 Match Quality:36 Stephanie bitched out Regal about Chris Jericho running out. Regal books Jericho against himself and Kurt Angle in a handicap match. 83 Crash Holly vs Rhyno. Match Background: Crash Holly is the reigning WWF Lightweight champion, and has been since 18 March 2001. The Match: Crash walks into a side slam. Think about how much talent it takes to side slam someone. Nash can do it. Death valley driver (not to be confused with the DVD 500) by Rhyno connects and Crash Holly is down! High Angle DDT by Rhyno just SPIKES Crash Holly down! Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! BIG clothesline on Crash. Covers for a quick two count. Rhyno goes for a splash but Crash puts the knees up. BIG clothesline on Rhyno. Nice piledriver on Rhyno. Rhyno reverses a hip toss. Rhyno hits a piledriver on Crash Holly. That used to end matches, you know. Crash Holly is in trouble. GORE!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! My Opinion: *1\2 rating is all it gets from me. Overall:64 Crowd Reaction:56 Match Quality:73 Kane vs Val Venis. Match Background: This will be a hardcore bout. This match is for the WWF Hardcore title. Kane has been WWF Hardcore champion since 31 March 2001. The Match: Kane hits some punches. How generic. Frying pan shot by Kane. Kane hits some punches. How generic. Hooks the leg for a two count. BAAACK Body drop by Val gets a bit of a pop from the crowd. There's a two count on the pin. Val reverses a waistlock. Val scoops and slams Kane. What's the difference between a scoop slam and a body slam anyway? Hooks the leg for a two count. Val hits a piledriver on Kane. That used to end matches, you know. Kane counters a backdrop attempt with a kick to the face and hit a clothesline! Brutal sit out powerbomb on Val! Val Venis is in trouble. Choke Slam! 1....2....3. My Opinion: All it gets is a ***1\2 rating from me. Deal with it. Overall:83 Crowd Reaction:80 Match Quality:86 Chris Jericho vs Kurt Angle and William Regal. Match Background: This will be a 2 on 1 handicap bout. Chris Jericho is the reigning WWF Intercontinental champion, and has been since 21 January 2001. The Match: Big forearm by Kurt Angle makes me want to go to the mirror and check MY teeth. Hard impact Russian Leg Sweep by Regal. According to some other reviewers around here, 'legsweep' is one word. Regal \ Angle whip Jericho into the ropes and hit a double backdrop. There's a two count on the pin. BURNING HAMMER~! from Kurt Angle is executed with perfect brutally! Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Angle \ Regal whip Jericho into the ropes and hit a double back elbow. Angle blocks a kick from Chris Jericho. Spear by Chris Jericho. Pin, but Regal is out just before the three count. Kurt Angle is able to duck a clothesline attempt and connect with a counter clothesline. Vertical suplex by Kurt Angle. Kurt Angle scoops up Jericho. Regal bounces off the ropes and hits a flying Hart Attack clothesline. Hooks the leg for a two count. Chris Jericho pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Tiger suplex on Regal. No Misawa references from me, I swear. Oh, dammit. Covers for a quick two count. Angle blocks a punch. Jericho walks into a stiff sit-out jaw breaker. Vicious back suplex! Chris Jericho got nailed big time! Chris Jericho is in trouble. Union Jack! 1....2....3. My Opinion: Some blown spots really drag this match down a notch, so its ***1\2 for you. Overall:84 Crowd Reaction:80 Match Quality:88 Billy Gunn vs X-Pac. Match Background: None. The Match: Billy gets caught with a belly to belly suplex from X-Pac! X-Pac strikes Billy. Standing leg lariat by X-Pac on Billy. Hooks the leg for a two count. Implant DDT by X-Pac! I will always and forever mark out for that move. Covers for a quick two count. Billy Gunn powers out of a X-Pac headlock. A weak headbutt on X-Pac by Billy causes nothing but pain for both. Hooks the leg for a two count. Billy Gunn DDTs X-Pac, but it just looked terrible. X-Pac pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Tiger suplex on Billy. No Misawa references from me, I swear. Oh, Bloody Hell! Albert comes running down the aisle and into the ring! Billy Gunn turns around. Albert spins Billy around. Albert hits the Baldo Bomb! Albert leaves the ring, the damage done! Cover gets three for X-Pac, Billy got pinned. X-Pac and Albert put the boots to Billy Gunn, stomping away on him. My Opinion: It was close to a ** match, but I just can't stand too many blown spots. *3/4 Overall:70 Crowd Reaction:69 Match Quality:72 The Rock vs Steve Austin. Match Background: This will be a cage bout. This match is for the WWF World title. Steve Austin has been WWF World champion since 31 March 2001. The Match: Steve Austin hits some punches. How generic. Steve Austin launches Rock into the cage wall. Steve Austin and Rock climb the cage....but both end up crashing back to the canvas after a struggle! BAAACK Body drop by Rock gets a bit of a pop from the crowd. Stone Cold slams The Rock down and motions to the crowd. The Rock pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. The Rock drives Stone Cold into the cage side. Spinebuster by The Rock. Rock climbs the cage...but Steve Austin is in hot pursuit, and they both end up back on the canvas. Rock goes for a splash but Stone Cold puts the knees up. Steve Austin hits a bulldog off the ropes. Death valley driver (not to be confused with the DVD 500) by Steve Austin connects and The Rock is down! Rock flips out of a Steve Austin bodyslam attempt. The Rock connects with rights and lefts and Steve Austin is down! Stone Cold flips out of a The Rock bodyslam attempt. Steve Austin and Rock climb the cage....but both end up crashing back to the canvas after a struggle! The Rock charges into the corner, but EATS BOOT and staggers backward. Spear! Stone Cold is down! The Rock goes to leave the cage by the door...but Triple H appears at ringside and slams the door on his head! Stone Cold takes the opportunity, and climbs out the door for the win! Stone Cold and HHH beat away on The Rock, leaving him spread-eagled on the canvas. My Opinion: All it gets is a ***1\2 rating from me. Deal with it. Overall:94 Crowd Reaction:100 Match Quality:82 Overall:81

XPW Climax for 1/7/04: Do not adjust your screens. This is XPW. We drugged the TNT executives so we can air this. Out comes Lizzy Borden with the XPW World Title Belt. She goes on how the XPW World Title will be decided in the only dipolmatic way, whomever gives her the best orgaism gets the title shot. So she had a 5 minute orgaism challenge at her hotel room last night and whomever gave her the best one gets the Title. She said she crowned a champion and out comes Joey Abs. Joey Abs is the lucky winner of the XPW World Title. Joey Abs is presented the belt and that is that. The other titles will be decided in matches because Lizzy doesn't give a flying fuck about anything except to XPW World Title. Overall:35 Hardcore Homo Angel vs Pogo The Clown vs Axl Rotten. Match Background: This will be a hardcore bout. This match is for the XPW King Of The Deathmatch title. The Match: Angel hits a punch, but takes one right back. Again! A slugfest erupts in the ring! Axl Rotten takes a right hand to the temple from Pogo. I bet those hurt more than Sgt. Slaughter's Noogies. Pogo charges into the corner but EATS BOOT. Hardcore Homo Angel slams Pogo onto a trash can lid. Axl Rotten DDTs Angel in a move that is so poorly executed, you can actually see that Hardcore Homo Angel's head didn't touch the mat at all. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Pogo The Clown with a badly-executed spinning neckbreaker on Axl. One more performed that badly and this match will end on a bad note, if you get my drift. Axl ducks a wild right hand. Angel \ Axl whip Pogo into the corner. Hardcore Homo Angel whips Axl Rotten in for a hard clothesline to follow-up. Angel DDTs Pogo The Clown. Axl Rotten smashes a Playstation console over the head of Angel. Should have used an X-Box, they're much bigger. Axl drops an elbow...but Hardcore Homo Angel moves out of the way. Hardcore Homo Angel strikes Pogo The Clown with a hard blow. Pogo The Clown is in trouble. Circumsizer!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! My Opinion: 1/4*. Be happy it's not a DUD. Overall:54 Crowd Reaction:59 Match Quality:60 The Hardcore Homo is the first XPW King of the Death Match Champion in this half assed invasion. Line of the match:Hardcore Homo Angel strikes Pogo the Clown with a hard blow. Axl Rotten is the first defector by the way from DDW to XPW. Youthanazia vs Erotica. Match Background: Chetti is making his debut at this show. Doring is making his debut at this show. He also works for RoH and NWAW. This match is for the XPW Tag Team titles. The Match: Cross hits a HARD spinning kick to the jaw. Cross hits a dropkick on Danny Doring and gets right back up. Hooks the leg for a two count. Cross tags out to Josh Prohibition. Youthanazia whip Doring into the ropes and hit a double backdrop. Hooks the leg for a two count. THERE IT IS! A legdrop to the BACK OF THE HEAD! I swear, that makes any match just a little bit better. I don't mind telling you that every time I see it, that's for sure. Danny Doring powers out of a Josh Prohibition headlock. JP takes a quick lariat. There's a two count on the pin. Doring tags out to Chris Chetti. JP takes a NICE hurrancarana from Chris Chetti. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Implant DDT by Chris Chetti! I will always and forever mark out for that move. Chetti walks into a drop toe hold. Hard back suplex on Chetti. Come to think of it, that move had WAY too much power in No Mercy for N64. JP tags out to Matt Cross. Standing leg lariat by Matt Cross on Chetti. Tag to Danny Doring. Implant DDT by Matt Cross! I will always and forever mark out for that move. Danny Doring gets knocked to the ground by Cross, who is already climbing the turnbuckle. Off the top - Leap of Faith, forget about it. 1....2...3! My Opinion: Well, hello there *1/4 rating, how are you? Overall:57 Crowd Reaction:40 Match Quality:74 What the heck is wrong with these people? Don't they know that are making the DDW Superstars look bad doing these 1/4* and * 1/4 matches. The Invasion may be dead in the water after one week. Lizzy Borden is backstage putting her pants back on when Pete Gas(???) comes into the office. Pete Gas is a little disapointed with his partner Joey Abs. Lizzy says Pete shouldn't be. He came, he saw, he fucked, and he got the title. That is not the Posse way, says Pete. They are to make friends with the bosses son. Well Lizzy says Pete can either search for one of her 200 thousand illegitamate offsprings or she can get down on her knees and...Pete cuts her off. He wants a title shot to beat some sense into his former friend. Lizzy says she doesn't have a bed in here but her desk would work just as fine. Pete then says he would fuck Borden if she was the last woman on earth. Lizzy gets all outraged and books Pete Gas to face his friend Joey Abs for the Title tonight. 42 Joey Abs vs Pete Gas. Match Background: Abs is making his debut at this show. Gas is making his debut at this show. He is a regular with ECWA. This match is for the XPW World title. Joey Abs has been XPW World champion since 07 January 2004. The Match: A weak headbutt on Gas by Abs causes nothing but pain for both. Running clothesline from Joey Abs was actually MIGHTY sloppy. There's a two count on the pin. Abs walks into a drop toe hold. Big forearm by Gas draws laughter from the crowd because it was THAT bad. Pete Gas connects with some weak punches on Joey Abs. Pete Gas hits a BIG clothesline for two! Joey Abs once again takes the advantage after blocking a few punches and connecting with some forearms. Joey Abs DDTs Gas, but it just looked terrible. Pete Gas hooks up a suplex, but it is blocked. Abs scores with a low blow, then turns it into a small package! The referee didn't see the illegal blow! 1...2...3! Pete Gas got screwed out of the victory! My Opinion: Hot pokers would be a little too nice to the booking committee for subjecting me to this bile -**. Overall:33 Crowd Reaction:31 Match Quality:36 So I got members of the Mean Street Posse going at it over the XPW Title and a homesexual man is King of the Death Match Champion. The fun has just begun. Let's see how much I can tank this baby. Good thing is the Posse kept up the standard that is expected in this fed. Overall:29 0.80 Rating for Climax.

Tussels with Tassels 1/3/04: Mr. Warrior is filing some papers and in walks Lizzy Borden. Mr. Warrior takes a drink of coffee to do a spit take. Mr. Warrior asks her what the hell she is doing here. She wasn't part of the XPW Deal. She says that someone in the Warrior's adminstration signed her to a contract. (There is a mole in Warrior's corporation). Mr. Warrior says that the person will pay for sleeping with that whore. In comes Sable just in case this segment couldn't get any more stupid. Sable says that she is Lizzy Borden's Head of Operations. Key word is:HEAD. Mr. Warrior says that XPW isn't getting crap from him. He just signed their talent to bury them. Well at least he is honest about it. Mr. Warrior says as long as Lizzy Borden is here and believe him that as soon as he will get a chance to fire her, he will. He has a few ground rules. Althrough he hasn't had one reason to keep her on. Lizzy says she will give him two but Mr. Warrior cuts her off. No flashing. No sleeping with other wrestlers. No blowjobs. No...Lizzy cuts him off and says that if she had her own show she wouldn't have to conform to Mr. Warrior's standards. Mr. Warrior says that she will NEVER get her own show for the XPW rejects as long as he is living and breathhing. Lizzy Borden brings out a little, incentive. In walks Haku's hair, followed closely by Haku. Mr. Warrior says all right, they will talk. Overall:53 YO GODIA DAWN. YO GODIA DAWN. What in the hell? AHMED'S BACK. Ahmed Johnson cuts a rambling promo. Good to see Ahmed Johnson back to where he belongs. Overall:37 A video of a man flipping his fingers through his hair. His hair is the focus of the promo. The promo ends with:"NASH IS COMING." 48 Zach Gowan vs Honky Tonk Man. Match Background: None. The Match: Weak-ass knife-edge chop from HTM in the corner. Sting would have NO problem no-selling that. Kick from HTM, showing off an amazing arsenal. I sure hope there's more to it than that. Zach Gowan walks into a chop and BUMPS OFF IT. I love that. Hooks the leg for a two count. Honky Tonk Man with a sloppy back bodydrop on Gowan. We almost had another Benoit/Sabu situation there. Hooks the leg for a two count. Zach Gowan fights out of a grapple. Zach Gowan strikes HTM. There's a two count on the pin. Zach Gowan uses a running dropkick into the corner. That was just...ugh. Zach Gowan gets taken down out of nowhere! Face-first suplex from HTM. Honky Tonk Man moves in for the kill. Here it comes - Shake, Rattle and Roll. 1....2...3, it's finished. My Opinion: Bad match which brought absolutely nothing to the table and was a waste of time. DUD. Overall:54 Crowd Reaction:67 Match Quality:50 I have nothing to add other than, Gowan is now a pirate. His peg leg almost got stuck up HTM's ass twice. Midnight Express vs 2 Bad Mothertruckers. Match Background: Midnight Express are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. This match is for the Red and Yellow Tag titles. 2 Bad Mothertruckers have been Red and Yellow Tag champions since 31 December 2003. The Match: Sweet Stan takes a couple of weak clotheslines. Barry Horowitz DDTs Sweet Stan in a move that is so poorly executed, you can actually see that Stan Lane's head didn't touch the mat at all. Hooks the leg for a two count. Horowitz tags out to Maxx Payne. 2 Bad Mothertruckers whip Sweet Stan into the corner. Maxx Payne whips Barry Horowitz in for a hard clothesline to follow-up. Payne slams Stan Lane down. Sweet Stan is sure in trouble now. Hooks the leg for a two count. Uninspired brawling from Maxx Payne. Maxx Payne gets taken down out of nowhere! Stan Lane turns Payne inside-out with a clothesline. Reminds me of Willow's 'Bored Now' skin ripping finisher. Inside joke, don't worry about it. Tag to Bobby Eaton. Payne tastes a high angle back suplex. If Spike Lee can sue TNN over the Spike TV nonsense, then Kurt Angle should be able to sue SOMEONE for that. Bobby Eaton scores with a face jam on Maxx Payne. Payne ducks a wild right hand. Payne tags out to Barry Horowitz. Barry Horowitz hits a sloppy ass bulldog off the ropes. Horowitz DDTs Bobby Eaton. Pin, but Eaton is out just before the three count. Barry Horowitz DOESN'T take a page out of Andre the Giant's book and hits an incredibly weak headbutt on Eaton. Barry Horowitz gets taken down out of nowhere! Bobby Eaton hits a shaky delayed suplex on Horowitz. Davey Boy Smith is looking down from heaven...and shaking his head in disapproval. As Sweet Stan and Horowitz get into a brawl on the outside, Josh Prohibition comes running down into the ring! JP has a chair, and drops Eaton and Horowitz with devastating blows, causing the referee to call for the bell. This match has been ruled a no contest! My Opinion: -*. Somehow, you actually took AWAY from any enjoyment I could have had watching this. Overall:48 Crowd Reaction:46 Match Quality:49 The invasion begins as Josh Phohibition runs out to ruin this match. THE INVASION IS HERE. No turning back. This will suck worse then the WWE or your money back(this is free so I have no regrets making that offer). This is the first time the 2 Bad Mothertruckers didn't win but they are still undefeated. When can you use Barry Horowitz and undefeated in the same sentence. Mr. Warrior and Lizzy Borden are going over details. Mr. Warrior will give Borden the old Power and Paint time slot and Zach Gowan if she does him a favor. You can imagine how Lizzy interprets this but Warrior says that the favor is Lizzy can have several XPW stars beat the shit out of Lex Luger. Lizzy Borden says she can do that and she is off. 50 Brian Knobbs vs Marty Jannetty. Match Background: Brian Knobbs is the reigning Hardcore champion, and has been since 12 November 2003. The Match: Brian Knobbs connects with some weak punches on Marty Jannetty. Brian Knobbs hits some weak-looking punches in the corner, but Marty Jannetty is able to block them and return the favor in spades. Punch by Knobbs, missing Jannetty COMPLETELY. I'm just glad thatJannetty didn't sell it. Boring brawling from Brian Knobbs is the cure for insomnia. Jannetty counters a sleeper with a jaw breaker and is able to get free! Brian Knobbs takes a knee lift from Jannetty. *sigh* Running knee lifts always remind me of the late Curt Hennig. Marty Jannetty hits a shitty missile dropkick on Knobbs. Covers for a quick two count. Marty Jannetty misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. Brian Knobbs DDTs Jannetty in a move that is so poorly executed, you can actually see that Marty Jannetty's head didn't touch the mat at all. Hooks the leg for a two count. Sloppy discus punch from Brian Knobbs barely connects on Jannetty. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Jannetty reverses a Brian Knobbs hammerlock. Knobbs takes a kick to the chest, and staggers back. A blind charge only gets an even HARDER kick. Brian Knobbs powers out of a Marty Jannetty headlock. Big forearm by Knobbs draws laughter from the crowd because it was THAT bad. Justice Pain just slid into the ring out of nowhere! Brian Knobbs gets grabbed, and they start brawling. Jannetty takes some shots at Knobbs as well. The referee, seeing the chaos, calls for a no contest ruling. Justice Pain has grabbed a chair. Knobbs walks over...and gets floored with a hard shot. Jannetty also takes a hard shot. Pain has laid everybody out! My Opinion: One SOLE bright spot in this match keeps it from going into DUD territory. 1/4*. Overall:51 Crowd Reaction:58 Match Quality:55 Justice Pain ruins the fourth match between Jannetty and Knobbs. The second wave of the Invasion has began. Doink The Clown vs Rick Steiner. Match Background: This match is for the 10 Minute Time Limit title. Rick Steiner has been 10 Minute Time Limit champion since 20 September 2003. The Match: Rick Steiner connects with some weak punches on Doink The Clown. Doink counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Double arm suplex by Doink The Clown connects as Steiner hits hard. Doink whips Steiner into the turnbuckles...and the ref is crushed! Northern Lights Bomb very nearly crushes the spine of Steiner! Hooks the leg, but the referee is still out! Doink charges into the corner but EATS BOOT. A powerslam so weak, my grandmother could have performed it, is actually pulled off by Steiner on Doink. Rick Steiner hits a sloppy ass bulldog off the ropes. Hooks the leg for a two count. Side suplex from Steiner. Could have been done a hell of a lot better though. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Doink powers out of a headlock. Tiger bomb by Doink The Clown, which is nowhere near as cool as a botched Pedigree but gets the job done. Pin, but Steiner is out just before the three count. Rick Steiner elbows Doink The Clown in the face to break a hammerlock. Pogo The Clown runs down the aisle and into the ring, carrying a chair! Steiner turns...and gets floored with a chair to the head! The referee has no choice but to call for the bell! Disqualification! Doink The Clown gives a murderous look toward Pogo The Clown...and attacks! Pogo gets dropped to the canvas, then battered with a barrage of rights and lefts. Doink picks him up...and launches him over the top rope to the outside. A small measure of revenge has been taken. My Opinion: DUD. That's about all I can say without getting into obsenities. Overall:45 Crowd Reaction:42 Match Quality:58 Pogo the Clown attempted to have a clown type alliance with Doink the Clown but he didn't bite. The black man rule also applies for clowns. If there are two clowns in a federation they must either team up or feud. Lex Luger walks past the Hardcore Homo Angel, Scott Snot, and Supreme. A montly crew to have beat up Lex Luger if their ever was one. Luger makes a smart ass comment about XPW and the three jobbers beat the shit out of Lex Luger. Really, they kicked Lex Luger so hard he crapped his pants. 49 Hacksaw Bradshaw vs Nikita Koloff. Match Background: This match is for the United States title. Hacksaw Bradshaw has been United States champion since 03 December 2003. The Match: Uninspiring brawling from Hacksaw Bradshaw. Check them brawlin' stats, boy. Bradshaw charges into the corner but EATS BOOT. Some pretty weak shots by Koloff. Koloff whips Bradshaw into the turnbuckles...and the ref is crushed! Nikita Koloff connects with a crappy looking standing spinebuster. Does everyone use that move these days? Pinfall attempt, but the ref is out and can't count to three! Hacksaw Bradshaw is able to duck a clothesline attempt and connect with a counter clothesline. Big forearm by Bradshaw draws laughter from the crowd because it was THAT bad. Hacksaw Bradshaw hits a sloppy ass bulldog off the ropes. Hooks the leg for a two count. Hacksaw Bradshaw connects with a crappy looking standing spinebuster. Does everyone use that move these days? Pin, but Koloff is out just before the three count. Koloff blocks the suplex attempt and is able to hit the suplex instead! Powerslam from Nikita Koloff on Bradshaw. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Bradshaw powers out of a headlock. Alex Wright runs down the aisle and into the ring, carrying a chair! Bradshaw turns...and gets floored with a chair to the head! The referee has no choice but to call for the bell! Disqualification! Alex Wright obviously hasn't finished his attack yet! Hacksaw Bradshaw stands up. Alex Wright stuns Bradshaw. Alex Wright quickly goes up to the top rope, and leaps off, hitting the Flying Press! Alex Wright eventually leaves, having caused enough damage. My Opinion: You barely escaped a DUD rating. 1/4*. Overall:56 Crowd Reaction:67 Match Quality:55 Alex Wright makes his debut to beat up Hacksaw Bradshaw. Proving that the Invasion will not take over the whole fed(not yet anyway). So we had the Communist last month. This month will be a Nazi. Maybe next month we can have a Native American feud with Hacksaw. Providing he gets past Alex Wright. Vader is supposed to face Lex Luger but Lex Luger has been taken down by the XPW Jobbers earlier. Vic Grimes comes out and gets in the face of Vader. Before anything can happen we are out of time. See you next week on Tussels with Tassels. Overall:59 50 0.37 Rating for Tussels with Tassels.

Mr. Warrior buys XPW. In a Surprising Move, Mr. Warrior bought Xtreme fed XPW which has been having difficulties for months paying their workers. An Invasion may happen in the coming months but right now XPW will get the Old Power and Paint Time Slot. Mr. Warrior had two choices for feds to buy. ROH or XPW. Most wisely he bought XPW. The deal was finalized On New Year's Day and it will be made official on the first edition of Tussels with Tassels. Two brands. XPW and DDW. Mr. Warrior will be bring in some new talent to spice up his end of the program as well. The rosters for the Brand Extension will be released soon. More details as well have them. Source: HulkHogancanbeatupChrisBenoit.com

Well the Bad Luck continues. Marc Mero was signed by GCG in a written contract. Well he hasn't done much except tag with Doink a couple of times but I'm still pissed. For Extras for the show I have special on screen graphics instead of the standard, my name is.... name tags that we normally use. Rockin' New Year Warrior-December 31st 2003 Mr. Warrior and his corporation are having their New Year's Eve Party. Sherri Martel dances on the table while Barry Horowitz and Maxx Payne throw quarters at her. Giant Gonzales is passed out on the floor from a little too much to drink. Overall:49 Zach Gowan vs Ron Simmons. Match Background: None. The Match: Wack kick from Simmons. Gowan takes a vertical suplex, but pops right back up. Covers for a quick two count. Gowan counters a backdrop attempt with a kick to the face and hit a clothesline! Gowan hits a dropkick on Ron Simmons. Actually, it barely touched! Zach Gowan strikes Simmons. Simmons takes a hard, stinging chop from Gowan. One word: Ow. Gowan charges into the corner but EATS BOOT. Ron Simmons DDTs Gowan, but it just looked terrible. Ron Simmons moves in for the kill. Whitey Crusher!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! My Opinion: You barely escaped a DUD rating. 1/4*. Overall:62 Crowd Reaction:66 Match Quality:54 The WWE Rejects open up the show with the bang. Ron Simmons is 2-0 against White Boys. Gowan is hopefully regretting upping his salary now. Godfather vs Rick Steiner. Match Background: This match is for the 10 Minute Time Limit title. Rick Steiner has been 10 Minute Time Limit champion since 20 September 2003. The Match: Steiner strikes away at Godfather, not doing much damage at all. Rick Steiner strikes Godfather with a hard blow. There's a two count on the pin. Godfather pushes out of a Rick Steiner hold. Rick Steiner takes a right hand to the temple from Godfather. Godfather strikes Rick Steiner. Running clothesline from Godfather was actually MIGHTY sloppy. Rick Steiner pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Rick Steiner hits an ugly looking bulldog off the ropes. Rick Steiner moves in for the kill. Belly To Back Suplex!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! My Opinion: DUD. That's about all I can say without getting into obsenities. Overall:54 Crowd Reaction:57 Match Quality:50 This is the second show in a row that Rick Steiner won with a belly to back suplex. I think the belly to back suplex is the DDW is the same of a Gasno Bomb off the steel cage through five flaming tables in other feds. 2 Bad Mothertruckers vs Rock N Roll Express. Match Background: Rock N Roll Express are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. The Match: Payne slams Robert Gibson down. Gibson is sure in trouble now. Payne hits a piledriver on Robert Gibson. I know I wouldn't let someone that bad give me a piledriver. Tag to Barry Horowitz. A powerslam so weak, my grandmother could have performed it, is actually pulled off by Horowitz on Gibson. Hooks the leg for a two count. Side suplex from Horowitz. Could have been done a hell of a lot better though. Tag between Barry Horowitz and Maxx Payne. 2 Bad Mothertruckers whip Gibson into the ropes and hit a double backdrop. Pin, but Gibson is out just before the three count. Robert Gibson elbows Maxx Payne in the face to break a hammerlock. Tag between Robert Gibson and Ricky Morton. Payne walks into a spinning heel kick which almost causes a decapitation! Ricky Morton uses a running dropkick into the corner. That was just...ugh. Tag between Ricky Morton and Robert Gibson. Rock N Roll Express whip Payne into the ropes and hit a double clothesline. Maxx Payne takes a knee lift from Gibson. *sigh* Running knee lifts always remind me of the late Curt Hennig. Flying elbow off the top rope by Robert Gibson, getting as close to zero air as possible. Tag to Ricky Morton. Morton hits a soaring kick on Payne. Maxx Payne pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Payne tags out to Barry Horowitz. BIG clothesline from Horowitz. 'BIG' because it missed by a mile! Ricky Morton tries to get a big slam, but it is blocked when Horowitz goes to the eyes! Barry Horowitz quickly scores with a field-goal kick between the legs! Ricky Morton collapses! The referee didn't see the illegal blow! 1...2...3! Ricky Morton got screwed! My Opinion: DUD. That's about all I can say without getting into obsenities. Overall:50 Crowd Reaction:45 Match Quality:56 Barry Horowitz screwing Ricky Morton is YOUR Bad mental image of the day. Here comes the Cage and here comes the Road Warriors for the Tag Team Title Match. 2 Bad Mothertruckers vs Road Warriors. Match Background: This will be a cage bout. Road Warriors are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. Animal knows Hawk very well as they work for World Japan in Japan. This match is for the Red and Yellow Tag titles. Road Warriors have been Red and Yellow Tag champions since 20 September 2003. The Match: Barry Horowitz hits a bulldog off the ropes. Payne slams Road Warrior Hawk down. Hawk is sure in trouble now. Road Warrior Animal fights out of a grapple. Road Warrior Animal launches Horowitz into the cage wall. Animal climbs the cage...but Maxx Payne is in hot pursuit, and they both end up back on the canvas. Maxx Payne scoops up Animal. Horowitz bounces off the ropes and hits a flying Hart Attack clothesline. Horowitz DDTs Road Warrior Hawk. Payne and Animal both climb up and over the cage, leaving their partners battling it out. Jack Victory appeared on the outside, and came in via the door...and floored Road Warrior Hawk with a chair! Horowitz took the opportunity and left the cage to get the win for 2 Bad Mothertruckers! Road Warriors are beaten down three-on-two by the combined forces of Horowitz, Payne and Victory. My Opinion: -***. Giving out negative stars makes me feel bad inside. Well, not really, but it should! Overall:48 Crowd Reaction:60 Match Quality:23 Lovely. Just lovely. -***. I have hit the big time. 2 Bad Mothertruckers are your NEW Tag Team Champions. The Road Warriors were bitches about jobbing so they are going to get the Zach Gowan treatment. Althrough I still have an Ironman Match between Bradshaw and Koloff so maybe I can top this horrible match. I still haven't reached Heroes of Wrestling levels but damn do I try. Brian Knobbs vs Marty Jannetty. Match Background: This will be a hardcore bout. This match is for the Hardcore title. Brian Knobbs has been Hardcore champion since 12 November 2003. The Match: Marty Jannetty dropkicks Knobbs after leaping off an upturned shopping cart! Covers for a quick two count. Flying elbow off the top rope by Marty Jannetty, getting as close to zero air as possible. Covers for a quick two count. Knobbs counters a sleeper with a jaw breaker and is able to get free! Weak slam from Knobbs sets Jannetty for something, but if it was as weak as that slam, then Jannetty has no worries. Whip into an upright table by Knobbs. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Jannetty ducks a wild right hand. Badly executed second rope splash by Jannetty. Hooks the leg for a two count. Knobbs blocks a kick from Marty Jannetty. Side suplex from Knobbs. Could have been done a hell of a lot better though. Marty Jannetty slams Knobbs, who rolls onto his stomach. What is Brian Knobbs doing? Marty Jannetty picks him up and signals for a powerbomb. He raises Knobbs up...but then falls backward, getting crushed by his opponent in the process! Brian Knobbs is on top! 1....2....3! Looking at the replay, it appears that Knobbs had taken a chain out of his tights and wrapped it around his fist! Marty Jannetty must have been punched with that chain while in mid-powerbomb! What a cheap shot! Brian Knobbs offers a handshake to Jannetty...and he accepts it! No! Marty Jannetty levels Knobbs with a cheap shot right hand! Marty Jannetty spins Knobbs around. Marty Jannetty hits the Rocker Dropper! Brian Knobbs has been floored after the match. My Opinion: DUD. I refuse to say any more about it. Overall:56 Crowd Reaction:58 Match Quality:54 How would Marty lift up Knobbs for a power bomb? If that happened in real life, he would be a permanent part of the ground. Knobbs retains the title and we will have a FOURTH match between these two down the road. Hacksaw Bradshaw vs Nikita Koloff. Match Background: This will be an iron man bout. This match is for the United States title. Hacksaw Bradshaw has been United States champion since 03 December 2003. The Match: FIRST FALL: BORING ass brawling from Bradshaw. Weak slam from Bradshaw sets Koloff for something, but if it was as weak as that slam, then Koloff has no worries. There's a two count on the pin. Nikita Koloff reverses a hip toss. Boring brawling from Nikita Koloff is the cure for insomnia. Some pretty weak shots by Koloff. A powerslam so weak, my grandmother could have performed it, is actually pulled off by Koloff on Bradshaw. Hacksaw Bradshaw is able to duck a clothesline attempt and connect with a counter clothesline. Powerslam from Hacksaw Bradshaw on Koloff. ONE...TWO...THREE. Bradshaw defeats Koloff. SECOND FALL: Hacksaw Bradshaw hits some weak-looking punches in the corner, but Nikita Koloff is able to block them and return the favor in spades. Hacksaw Bradshaw DOESN'T take a page out of Andre the Giant's book and hits an incredibly weak headbutt on Koloff. Hacksaw Bradshaw DOESN'T take a page out of Andre the Giant's book and hits an incredibly weak headbutt on Koloff. There's a two count on the pin. Big forearm by Bradshaw draws laughter from the crowd because it was THAT bad. Hooks the leg for a two count. Koloff blocks a kick from Hacksaw Bradshaw. Some pretty weak shots by Koloff. Covers for a quick two count. Nikita Koloff DDTs Bradshaw in a move that is so poorly executed, you can actually see that Hacksaw Bradshaw's head didn't touch the mat at all. Nikita Koloff misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. Sloppy discus punch from Hacksaw Bradshaw barely connects on Koloff. Hacksaw Bradshaw moves in for the kill. Here it comes - Fallaway Slam. 1....2...3, it's finished. END OF BOUT. My Opinion: -*. Somehow, you actually took AWAY from any enjoyment I could have had watching this. Overall:56 Crowd Reaction:62 Match Quality:44 That actually didn't suck too much. Hacksaw Bradshaw kills the commie. What will be next? Who knows? I lost my booking napkin again. Giant Gonzales vs Mr. Madness. Match Background: None. The Match: Madness strikes away at Giant Gonzales, not doing much damage at all. Giant Gonzales takes a right hand to the temple from Madness. Powerslam from Mr. Madness on Gonzales. Flapjack from Madness on Gonzales. Mr. Madness floors Giant Gonzales...and climbs the turnbuckles. Off the top - Madness Elbow hit hard. Mr. Warrior slides into the ring out of nowhere! Madness takes a stiff punch to the face and falls to the canvas. The referee calls for the DQ as Mr. Warrior continues to attack Madness. Giant Gonzales and Mr. Warrior try to beat down Mr. Madness, but end up getting run out of the ring by a furious Mr. Madness. They leave quickly before they end up taking any more punishment. My Opinion: I've never felt so inclined to go into the negatives before this match came along. -***. Overall:42 Crowd Reaction:51 Match Quality:24 Leave it to Gonzo to make me proud. He no sold everything. Mr. Warrior attempts to demask Savage er Mr. Madness. Yes Mr. Madness. He is NOT Randy Savage. I swear to God/Zeus/Allah/whatever divine figure you worship. The shaving is happening off camera however. Vader vs Lex Luger. Match Background: This will be a special guest referee bout. Mr. Warrior will be the referee for this match. This match is for the Big Red and Yellow title. Lex Luger has been Big Red and Yellow champion since 26 November 2003. The Match: Vader takes a couple of weak clotheslines. Lex Luger hits a bulldog off the ropes. Covers for a quick two count. Vader pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Luger gets slammed down hard and winces in pain. Vader with a spinning neckbreaker on Luger. There's a two count on the pin. Brutal sit out powerbomb on Luger! Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Running knee lift from Vader. Luger reverses a Vader hammerlock. BIG clothesline from Luger. 'BIG' because it missed by a mile! Hooks the leg for a two count. Lex Luger connects with a crappy looking standing spinebuster. Does everyone use that move these days? Pin, but Vader is out just before the three count. Lex Luger punches away at Vader. Lex Luger punches away at Vader only to get the tides turned quickly. Vader blocks a punch. Vader slams Lex Luger down and motions to the crowd. Vader scores with a big spinebuster. Luger looks to have the advantage. Mr. Warrior comes over. Mr. Warrior has Lex Luger down on the canvas. Here it comes - Gorilla Press and Splash, right on the money. Mr. Warrior pulls Vader on top. 1...2...3! Mr. Warrior has grabbed a chair from outside, and slides back into the ring. Lex Luger turns around, and gets floored with a brutal chair shot! Mr. Warrior has knocked Lex Luger out with a chair! My Opinion: One SOLE bright spot in this match keeps it from going into DUD territory. 1/4*. Overall:69 Crowd Reaction:78 Match Quality:50 Mr. Warrior basically won the title for Vader. Could this lead to the Smark's wet dream match:Lex Luger vs The Warrior. Only time will tell. Vader is the champion but he owes at least 9/10ths of that belt to the greatness that is Mr. Warrior. Overall:54 And now the Top 100 of the year 2004. I will give you the top 10 and if any DDW allumni placed(and they should) I will tell you how they stacked up. 1. Kurt Angle(WWE) 2. Chris Jericho(WWE) 3. Low Ki(NWA TNA/ROH/MLW) 4. AJ Styles(GCG) 5. TAKA Michinoku(MLW/GCG/FLI) 6. Christopher Daniels(FLI/NWA TNA/MLW) 7. Eddie Guerrero(WWE) 8. Tajiri(WWE) 9. Chris Benoit(WWE) 10. Christian(WWE) NO STARS. This is an outrage I tell you. Stupid 12 Year's olds on their parents computers and 40 year olds on their kid's computers. Don't reckonize true greatness. 0.28 Buyrate for Rockin' New Year Warrior Zach Gowan increases his wage AGAIN by 10 percent. Little greedy punk. I guess I am going to have to give him the pirate gimmick I had planned. I didn't want to resort to this. In sad news for Workrate fans everywhere, ROH has issued a Bankruptcy Warning. Rumors has it that the might of DDW is causing them to fold. A new show on Comedy Central will be Tussels with Tassels. It is Prime Time which means we will be looking for new talent. New as in you haven't seen them in this company before. Okay that's all for this update.

Power and Paint for 12/24/03: Doink The Clown vs Godfather. Match Background: None. The Match: A weak headbutt on Doink by Godfather causes nothing but pain for both. Godfather strikes away at Doink The Clown, not doing much damage at all. A weak headbutt on Doink by Godfather causes nothing but pain for both. Hooks the leg for a two count. Doink The Clown takes a right hand to the temple from Godfather. Covers for a quick two count. Doink reverses a waistlock. Doink The Clown snap suplexes Godfather. Hooks the leg for a two count. Massive back suplex! Godfather got snapped in half, but not literally because that would just end the match now wouldn't it. Godfather elbows Doink The Clown in the face to break a hammerlock. Godfather scores with a poor standing spinebuster. Godfather drives Doink The Clown into the corner. Ho Train!!! 1....2....3!! It's all over. My Opinion: DUD. I refuse to say any more about it. Overall:50 Crowd Reaction:44 Match Quality:57 Godfather gets the short end of the straw this month to face Rick Steiner at the PPV. This should be interesting to see what happens. Hacksaw Bradshaw comes out but Nikita Koloff attacks him from behind. Koloff floors Bradshaw with a belt and leaves with it. 71 Mr. Madness comes out here. He tells him a little about himself. His favorite snack is Slim Jims and he is OUTRAGED that Mr. Warrior fired Randy Savage, who is his hero. He says he will not rest until the Macho Man is back. Oh Yeah!!! 76 Mr. Warrior comes out with his Posse and he says that Savage doesn't fool him. So at the PPV Mr. Madness will face Giant Gonzales Mask vs Hair. Body Hair that is. That includes Pubic Hair as well(can we say Pubic Hair on TV). Mr. Warrior also has some other matches to make at the PPV. Lex Luger will face Vader. In the interest of fairness, Mr. Warrior will be the Special Guest Referee(is that the smell of screwjob that I am smelling). Marty Jannetty faces Brian Knobbs for the Hardcore Title in a Hardcore Match. Hacksaw Bradshaw will face Nikita Koloff in an Ironman Match for the United States Title. 2 Bad Mothertruckers will face the Rock and Roll Express and then the winners of the Road Warriors inside a Steel Cage for the Tag Team Titles. Godfather faces Rick Steiner for the 10 Minute Time Limit Title. Zach Gowan will face Ron Simmons and that's it. Overall:47 Lex Luger vs Marty Jannetty. Match Background: This match is for the Big Red and Yellow title. Lex Luger has been Big Red and Yellow champion since 26 November 2003. The Match: Some pretty weak shots by Luger. Jannetty takes a couple of weak clotheslines. Hooks the leg for a two count. Marty Jannetty fights out of a grapple. Face crusher from Jannetty on Luger sets up for an elbowdrop. Jannetty hits a short arm drag on Luger. Marty Jannetty arm drags Luger over and locks on an armbar. Marty Jannetty gets taken down out of nowhere! Lex Luger hits a sloppy ass bulldog off the ropes. Vader just slid into the ring out of nowhere! Vader has a chair, and drops Luger and Jannetty with devastating blows, causing the referee to call for the bell. This match has been ruled a no contest! Vader has a chair. Luger turns and takes a brutal shot to the head. Jannetty is next to take a hard shot. Vader has demolished everyone! My Opinion: -*. Somehow, you actually took AWAY from any enjoyment I could have had watching this. Overall:58 Crowd Reaction:64 Match Quality:45 Vader murders everyone. Will that be the sight we see in one week. Tune in to find out. Overall:53 0.81 Rating for P and P. Rockin' New Year Warrior Card: DDW World Title Something Rotten in Denmark Match with Special Guest Referee Mr. Warrior: Lex Luger© vs Vader Body Hair vs Mask: Giant Gonzales vs Mr. Madness God have Mercy on the Dames's sole Ironman Match for the DDW United States Title: Nikita Koloff vs Hacksaw Bradshaw© Hardcore Match for the DDW Hardcore Title: Brian Knobbs© vs Marty Jannetty Number One Contenders Match: 2 Bad Mothertruckers vs The Rock and Roll Express. DDW Tag Team Title Cage Match: The Road Warriors vs The Winners of the Number One Contenders Match. 10 Minute Time Limit Title Squash: Godfather vs Rick Steiner© Zach Gowan continues pay for daring to up his pay by 10 Percent: Ron Simmons(w/Theodore Long) vs Zach Gowan.

WWF Wrestlemania X-7: Chris Jericho vs William Regal. Match Background: This match is for the WWF Intercontinental title. Chris Jericho has been WWF Intercontinental champion since 21 January 2001. The Match: Jericho scoops and slams William Regal. What's the difference between a scoop slam and a body slam anyway? Dropkick connects to the BUTT of the jaw and Regal goes down. Jericho just WAFFLES Regal with a STIFF chop that hurt ME to watch! Covers for a quick two count. Spin kick by Chris Jericho to the face sends the opponent FLYING across the ring. Covers for a quick two count. William Regal pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. William Regal connects with a HARD right hand, sending the opponent down to the mat again. Covers for a quick two count. Vicious back suplex! Chris Jericho got nailed big time! Jericho reverses a William Regal hammerlock. Back heel kick off the second rope, Regal goes down. Chris Jericho has William Regal down on the canvas. Walls Of Jericho!!! William Regal taps out! My Opinion: Nothing offensive, but nothing too special either. **1\2 rating. Overall:69 Crowd Reaction:78 Match Quality:77 Big Show vs Kane vs Raven. Match Background: This will be a hardcore bout. This match is for the WWF Hardcore title. Raven has been WWF Hardcore champion since 19 March 2001. The Match: Show takes a headbutt from Kane. Raven chair shots Kane. Raven gets taken down out of nowhere! Big Show hits a sloppy double axe handle off the top. Big Show DDTs Kane, but it just looked terrible. Hooks the leg for a two count. Raven scores with a standing spinebuster. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Big Show avoids a Raven avalanche by getting out of the damn way! Show chair shots Raven. Powerbomb on Show. Big Show can barely stand. Choke Slam! 1....2....3. My Opinion: Usually, this is designated for good matches that were usually way too short for some reason. What's your excuse? *3/4 Overall:68 Crowd Reaction:80 Match Quality:69 Eddie Guerrero vs Test. Match Background: This match is for the WWF European title. Test has been WWF European champion since 22 January 2001. The Match: Test walks into a high dropkick from Eddie Guerrero, almost losing several teeth in the process. Hard back suplex on Test. Come to think of it, that move had WAY too much power in No Mercy for N64. Covers for a quick two count. Test counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Test strikes Eddie Guerrero with a hard blow. Eddie Guerrero takes a right hand to the temple from Test. I bet those hurt more than Sgt. Slaughter's Noogies. Eddie takes a vertical suplex, but pops right back up. Eddie ducks a wild right hand. Beautiful spinning arm drag out of the corner by Eddie. Perry Saturn comes running down the aisle and into the ring! Test turns around. Perry Saturn spins Test around. Perry Saturn hits the Death Valley Driver! Saturn leaves the ring, the damage done! Cover gets three for Eddie Guerrero, Test got pinned. My Opinion: I'll give it a **1\2 rating, but that's because I didn't mark out once...but nothing was too bad. Overall:72 Crowd Reaction:82 Match Quality:77 Chris Benoit vs Kurt Angle. Match Background: None. The Match: Chris Benoit just WALKS into a stiff lariat clothesline from Angle. Chris Benoit powers out of a Kurt Angle headlock. Chris Benoit kicks the leg, knocks Angle down, and goes to work on it. The ref is bumped, as goes down after accidentally getting caught by an elbow to the face. Tiger suplex on Angle. No Misawa references from me, I swear. Oh, Bloody Hell! Pinfall attempt, but the ref is out and can't count to three! Benoit drops an elbow...but Kurt Angle moves out of the way. Benoit gets caught with a short powerbomb from Angle. Lightning kick by Angle on Benoit. Covers for a quick two count. Impaler DDT by Kurt Angle just SPIKES Chris Benoit down! Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Benoit counters a sleeper with a jaw breaker and is able to get free! VICIOUS lightning kick by Benoit on Angle. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Chris Benoit misses a clothesline. Chris Benoit slugs Kurt Angle, sending him down into the corner. While Benoit fires up the crowd, Angle is removing the turnbuckle pad! Chris Benoit comes over...but Angle grabs him by the tights and uses the leverage to slingshot Chris Benoit face first into the exposed steel turnbuckle! Kurt Angle rolls up the stunned Chris Benoit, and even puts his feet on the second rope to add insult to injury! 1....2...3! What a display of cheating from Kurt Angle. My Opinion: This match was SO close from being perfect...but I'd feel almost...dirty giving it the full monty, so I'm only going to give it ****3/4. Overall:81 Crowd Reaction:80 Match Quality:100 Chyna vs Ivory. Match Background: This match is for the WWF Womens title. The Match: Ivory takes a right hand to the temple from Chyna. I bet those hurt more than Sgt. Slaughter's Noogies. Chyna slams Ivory down. Ivory is sure in trouble now. Covers for a quick two count. Ivory blocks the suplex attempt and is able to hit the suplex instead! Ivory hits a weak elbow on Chyna. Weak kick from Ivory. I am unpleased. Ivory punches away at Chyna. Ivory charges into the corner but EATS BOOT. Powerslam from Chyna on Ivory. Ivory can barely stand. Rear Naked Drop!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! My Opinion: One SOLE bright spot in this match keeps it from going into DUD territory. 1/4*. Overall:56 Crowd Reaction:67 Match Quality:55 Shane McMahon vs Vince McMahon. Match Background: This will be a special guest referee bout. Mick Foley will be the referee for this match. The Match: Weak bodyslam on Shane by Vince sets up a legdrop. Vince McMahon hits an ugly looking bulldog off the ropes. Covers for a quick two count. Vince McMahon gets taken down out of nowhere! Shane McMahon hits a right hand on Vince McMahon and follows it up with a couple more. Shane McMahon hits a right hand on Vince McMahon. Hooks the leg for a two count. Shane DDTs Vince McMahon. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Vince gets splashed in the corner. Vince counters a backdrop attempt with a kick to the face and hit a clothesline! Vince McMahon hits a sloppy double axe handle off the top. Covers for a quick two count. Flapjack from Vince on Shane. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Running clothesline from Vince McMahon was actually MIGHTY sloppy. Vince McMahon hits Shane. Shane blocks a kick from Vince McMahon. Running clothesline from Shane McMahon was actually MIGHTY sloppy. Shane McMahon turns Vince inside-out with a clothesline. Reminds me of Willow's 'Bored Now' skin ripping finisher. Inside joke, don't worry about it. Trish Stratus has climbed up onto the apron! Vince turns...and falls for the distraction! Shane McMahon attacks Vince from behind! Vince McMahon gets knocked to the ground by Shane, who is already climbing the turnbuckle. Flying Elbow!!! 1....2....3!! It's all over. My Opinion: All you deserve for this is *. That DOESN'T mean that you're a deputy or a cop or whatever. Overall:77 Crowd Reaction:100 Match Quality:56 Edge and Christian vs Hardy Boyz vs Dudley Boyz. Match Background: This will be a TLC bout. Edge and Christian are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. Hardy Boyz are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. Dudley Boyz are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. This match is for the WWF Tag Team titles. Dudley Boyz have been WWF Tag Team champions since 19 March 2001. The Match: Tiger suplex on Christian. No Misawa references from me, I swear. Oh, dammit. Christian takes a thrown chair to the face! Bubba walks into a face crusher variation. Has anyone's face ever really been crushed by one though? Hardy Boyz whip Edge into the ropes and hit a double clothesline. D-Von hits a right hand. D-Von Dudley drives the ladder into Matt. Whip into an upright table by D-Von. Spinebuster by Edge. Edge and Christian whip Bubba into the ropes and hit a double backdrop. Flying reverse elbow by Jeff Hardy. Dropkick from the middle of the ladder by Edge. Spear! Edge is down! Frying pan shot by D-Von. D-Von Dudley pulls Edge onto the table for a piledriver, but he uses a backdrop to survive. D-Von Dudley misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. Dropkick from the middle of the ladder by Christian. Jeff gets hit with SPLASH MOUNTAIN~! out of the corner! Christian and Edge climb the ladder and grab the prize for the win. My Opinion: As close to a ***** match as possible...but unfortunately, it was missing something, so I can only give it ****3/4. Overall:84 Crowd Reaction:91 Match Quality:97 Triple H vs Undertaker. Match Background: None. The Match: Uninspired brawling from Undertaker. HHH gets splashed in the corner. Covers for a quick two count. HHH pushes out of a Undertaker hold. BIG clothesline on Undertaker. Trying to channel the spirit of Misawa, Triple H ends up chanelling Lex Luger instead and nails a running forearm to the face, minus the steel plate, of course. HHH slams Undertaker down and motions to the crowd. Undertaker elbows Triple H in the face to break a hammerlock. Undertaker hits a piledriver on Triple H. I know I wouldn't let someone that bad give me a piledriver. Undertaker moves in for the kill. Last Ride!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! My Opinion: I'll give it a *3/4 rating. If you think of it like currency, it's a 1.75. You can't even take the subway with that anymore here. Work harder man. Overall:68 Crowd Reaction:80 Match Quality:70 The Rock vs Steve Austin. Match Background: This match is for the WWF World title. The Rock has been WWF World champion since 25 February 2001. The Match: Steve Austin connects with rights and lefts and The Rock is down! Steve Austin connects with rights and lefts and The Rock is down! Steve Austin with a spinning neckbreaker on Rock. Running knee lift from Steve Austin. The Rock once again takes the advantage after blocking a few punches and connecting with some forearms. Running knee lift from The Rock. Spinebuster by The Rock. Covers for a quick two count. Stone Cold kicks The Rock in the gut to reverse the momentum. Spear by Steve Austin. Hooks the leg for a two count. DEATH VALLEY DRIVAH~! by Steve Austin just KILLS The Rock! Pin, but Rock is out just before the three count. Rock pushes out of a Steve Austin hold. Stone Cold gets slammed down hard and winces in pain. Steve Austin once again takes the advantage after blocking a few punches and connecting with some forearms. BIG clothesline on Rock. Vince McMahon is at ringside! Rock wastes valuable time by yelling at Vince! Steve Austin takes advantage of the distraction and nails Rock from behind! The Rock is in trouble. Stone Cold Stunner!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! Steve Austin, having taken the victory thanks to the outside interference of Vince McMahon, goes over and shakes hands with him, showing that their plan was a success. My Opinion: A ***3/4 rating! Yay! Overall:81 Crowd Reaction:93 Match Quality:85 Overall:76

WWE Smackdown 3/29/01: Stephanie and Triple H are in the ring to start. Undertaker comes out and attacks Triple H but gets arrested. Undertaker gets one more shot before being led off in handcuffs. 85 A.P.A. vs X-Factor. Match Background: A.P.A. are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. The Match: Faarooq with a badly-executed spinning neckbreaker on Credible. One more performed that badly and this match will end on a bad note, if you get my drift. Powerslam from Faarooq on Credible. There's a two count on the pin. Tag between Faarooq and Bradshaw. A.P.A. whip Credible into the ropes and hit a double backdrop. Running clothesline from Bradshaw was actually MIGHTY sloppy. There's a two count on the pin. Bradshaw strikes away at Justin Credible, not doing much damage at all. Justin Credible once again takes the advantage after blocking a few punches and connecting with some forearms. Credible DDTs Bradshaw. Tag between Justin Credible and X-Pac. X-Pac uses a basement dropkick to the knee and it looks like it might be TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL~! Spinning bulldog in the corner and Bradshaw is down! Bradshaw reverses a waistlock. Tag to Faarooq. Faarooq hits an ugly looking bulldog off the ropes. Faarooq DDTs X-Pac. Pin, but X-Pac is out just before the three count. Faarooq hits X-Pac. Faarooq charges into the corner but EATS BOOT. Flying reverse elbow by X-Pac. Buchanan \ Godfather come running down the aisle with chairs! X-Pac whips Faarooq into the ropes. Buchanan jumps onto the apron with the chair! Collision between Buchanan, Faarooq, and the chair! Faarooq falls to the canvas. Faarooq can barely stand. Here it comes - X-Factor. 1....2...3, it's finished. Buchanan \ Godfather are still in the ring doing a beat-down. Out from the crowd comes Tazz! He has a chair! Buchanan \ Godfather bail out of the ring as Tazz slides in to the squared circle, unwilling to taste the steel. My Opinion: *** rating for an above average match. Overall:71 Crowd Reaction:76 Match Quality:82 Chris Benoit and Test vs Eddie Guerrero and Kurt Angle. Match Background: Test is the reigning WWF European champion, and has been since 22 January 2001. The Match: Second rope flying axe handle, Test goes down. One day, Eddie might even consider coming off the top with that. You know...for more impact and stuff. Springboard reverse elbow by Eddie Guerrero. Excellent move. Looks like Muta has giving out lessons. Hooks the leg for a two count. Tag to Kurt Angle. Angle \ Eddie hook up Test, then hit a double suplex. Vertical suplex by Kurt Angle. Hooks the leg for a two count. Standing leg lariat by Kurt Angle on Test. Test ducks a wild right hand. Test scores with a poor standing spinebuster. Tag to Chris Benoit. THERE IT IS! A legdrop to the BACK OF THE HEAD! I swear, that makes any match just a little bit better. I don't mind telling you that every time I see it, that's for sure. Beautiful spinning arm drag out of the corner by Benoit. Chris Benoit misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. Angle tags out to Eddie Guerrero. VICIOUS lightning kick by Eddie on Benoit. Diamond Dust from Eddie Guerrero, Benoit is out! Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Eddie Guerrero strikes Benoit. Benoit counters a sleeper with a jaw breaker and is able to get free! Springboard reverse elbow by Chris Benoit. Excellent move. Looks like Muta has giving out lessons. Eddie Guerrero gets knocked to the ground by Benoit. Eddie Guerrero gets locked in the Crippler Crossface! Submission victory! Eddie \ Angle look like they aren't done...and they attack Benoit \ Test! After an exchange of blows, Benoit and Test are laid out in the ring. My Opinion: This was such a good match, it caused star ratings to magically appear... ****1\4 Overall:78 Crowd Reaction:79 Match Quality:95 Austin and Rock attempt to get into it before Wrestlemania but they are held apart. 91 Shane McMahon is seen talking to Chris Jericho. 91 Matt Hardy vs Rhyno. Match Background: None. The Match: Nice piledriver on Matt. Powerbomb on Matt. Death valley driver by Rhyno! No one executes that move properly anymore. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! BIG clothesline on Matt. Hooks the leg for a two count. Rhyno goes for a splash but Matt puts the knees up. Spin kick by Matt Hardy to the face sends the opponent FLYING across the ring. Matt crushes Rhyno with a huge legdrop. Rhyno comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. Spinebuster by Rhyno. Christian comes running down the aisle and into the ring! Matt Hardy turns around. Christian spins Matt around. Christian hits the Unprettier! Christian leaves the ring, the damage done! ONE...TWO...THREE. Rhyno defeats Matt. My Opinion: Oh, look out...almost ***, but not quite. **3/4. Overall:73 Crowd Reaction:84 Match Quality:79 Ivory and Trish are supposed go at in a bra and panties match. Ivory refuses to face Trish and Chyna comes out and strips Ivory. These two will go at it at Wrestlemania. 63 William Regal and Big Show vs Chris Jericho and Kane. Match Background: Chris Jericho is the reigning WWF Intercontinental champion, and has been since 21 January 2001. The Match: Implant DDT by Chris Jericho! I will always and forever mark out for that move. Jericho crushes Show with a huge legdrop. There's a two count on the pin. Jericho tags out to Kane. Kane \ Jericho whip Show into the ropes and hit a double backdrop. Flying shoulder tackle by Kane sends Show CRASHING to the mat. There's a two count on the pin. Trying to channel the spirit of Misawa, Kane ends up chanelling Lex Luger instead and nails a running forearm to the face, minus the steel plate, of course. Big Show elbows Kane in the face to break a hammerlock. Big Show scores with a poor standing spinebuster. Tag to William Regal. Big dropkick by William Regal, who got a ton of air on the move. Massive back suplex! Kane got snapped in half, but not literally because that would just end the match now wouldn't it. William Regal misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. Tag between Kane and Chris Jericho. Massive backbreaker on Regal and I get happy flashbacks to Bret Hart's Five Moves of DOOM. Power drive elbow by Chris Jericho. That sounds like a feature on a 4 x 4, doesn't it. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Regal walks into a high dropkick from Chris Jericho, almost losing several teeth in the process. William Regal once again takes the advantage after blocking a few punches and connecting with some forearms. Doctor Bomb connects and Jericho landed hard. Chris Jericho is in trouble. Union Jack! 1....2....3. Raven comes running down the aisle, and gets into the ring! Big Show is ready though, and strikes first! Big Show spins Raven around. Big Show hits the Show Stopper! Raven has been left down on the canvas. The attempted ambush has backfired. My Opinion: I can be generous sometimes. Well, depends on your definition of generous. **1/4. Overall:69 Crowd Reaction:79 Match Quality:74 Steve Austin says he HAS to win the WWF Title THIS Sunday on Pay Per View at Wrestlemania. 86 Overall:75

Power and Paint for 12/17/03: Gangrel vs Ron Simmons. Match Background: None. The Match: Ron Simmons strikes Gangrel. Gangrel takes a right hand to the temple from Simmons. Hooks the leg for a two count. Gangrel blocks a kick from Ron Simmons. Weak bodyslam on Simmons by Gangrel sets up a legdrop. Simmons receives some punishment by Gangrel but with that horrid offense, we're the only ones truly being punished. Simmons takes a vertical suplex, but pops right back up. Gangrel drops an elbow...but Ron Simmons moves out of the way. Ron Simmons hits an ugly looking bulldog off the ropes. Gangrel is in trouble. Here it comes - Whitey Crusher. 1....2...3, it's finished. My Opinion: I'll give a 3/4 star rating, but only if you promise to improve as a booker. Overall:60 Crowd Reaction:57 Match Quality:64 Ron Simmons destroys Gangrel in a match that might have been a Sunday Night Heat Main Event Five Years Ago. After all no one is more white than a vampire. Mr. Warrior says that next week Doink the Clown will face the Godfather and the winner gets to get stiffed by er face Rick Steiner for the 10 Minute Time Limit Title at Rockin' New Year Warrior. 62 2 Bad Mothertruckers vs Axl Rotten and Barry Windham. Match Background: None. The Match: Weak slam from Axl sets Horowitz for something, but if it was as weak as that slam, then Horowitz has no worries. Barry Horowitz powers out of a Axl Rotten headlock. Barry Horowitz strikes Axl Rotten. Horowitz tags out to Maxx Payne. Running clothesline from Maxx Payne was actually MIGHTY sloppy. Axl gets splashed in the corner. Payne walks into a drop toe hold. Axl Rotten hits a weak elbow on Maxx Payne. Tag between Axl Rotten and Barry Windham. Barry Windham strikes Maxx Payne. Payne takes a vertical suplex, but pops right back up. Maxx Payne reverses a hip toss. Barry Windham takes a right hand to the temple from Payne. Tag between Maxx Payne and Barry Horowitz. Barry Horowitz scores with a shitty standing spinebuster. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Barry Horowitz hits a BIG clothesline for two! 2 Bad Mothertruckers have Barry Windham to themselves. Glass Ceiling! 1....2....3! It's over. My Opinion: A DUD here would have actually been generous! -* Overall:44 Crowd Reaction:43 Match Quality:46 I have nothing to add other than 2 Bad Mothertruckers are 3-0. The streak continues. Mr. Madness is coming. HE IS COMING. Next week on Power and Paint. Who could it be under the mask? 87 Brian Knobbs and Vader vs Lex Luger and Marty Jannetty. Match Background: Lex Luger is the reigning Big Red and Yellow champion, and has been since 26 November 2003. Brian Knobbs is the reigning Hardcore champion, and has been since 12 November 2003. The Match: Trying to channel the spirit of Misawa, Vader ends up chanelling Lex Luger instead and nails a running forearm to the face, minus the steel plate, of course. Rude Awakening neckbreaker on Lex Luger by Vader. Remember when that was a legit finish? There's a two count on the pin. Tag to Brian Knobbs. Vader \ Knobbs whip Luger into the ropes and hit a double backdrop. Covers for a quick two count. A powerslam so weak, my grandmother could have performed it, is actually pulled off by Knobbs on Luger. Luger backdrops Brian Knobbs out of a piledriver attempt. That took a lot out of Lex Luger. Lex Luger hits a bulldog off the ropes. Covers for a quick two count. Luger tags out to Marty Jannetty. Flying elbow off the top rope by Marty Jannetty, getting as close to zero air as possible. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Knobbs walks into a spinning heel kick which almost causes a decapitation! Marty Jannetty misses a clothesline. Brian Knobbs strikes Marty Jannetty. Tag between Brian Knobbs and Vader. STIFF~! chop lights up Jannetty who covers up to try and stop the agonizing PAIN! Tag between Marty Jannetty and Lex Luger. Rude Awakening neckbreaker on Lex Luger by Vader. Remember when that was a legit finish? Vader whips Luger into the turnbuckles...and the ref is crushed! Lex Luger slams Vader, who rolls onto his stomach. What is Vader doing? Lex Luger picks him up and signals for a powerbomb. He raises Vader up...but then throws him off. Lex Luger saw that Vader had a chain and was ready to hit him with it. A kick to the gut stuns Vader, and the chain gets taken by Luger, who wraps it around his fist. Knock-out punch! Vader is out cold, KOed by his own weapon! The referee gets up to see the pinfall - 1....2....3! Another referee comes running down the aisle, and points out to the first official that Lex Luger used a steel chain to get this victory. The referee reverses the decision! Lex Luger has been disqualified! Jannetty and Luger remain in the ring. Lex Luger does not look happy at losing. Marty Jannetty goes to leave, but gets pulled back in by Luger. Tensions seem to be rising between these two. My Opinion: You barely escaped a DUD rating. 1/4*. Overall:63 Crowd Reaction:68 Match Quality:53 Dusty Finishes are your FRIEND when no one wants to job properly. Marty and Lex had a disagreement, most likely over drugs, so they will settle it in the RING next WEEK on POWER and paint. Be THERE or BE not THERE. Next Week:Doink vs Godfather, Marty Jannetty vs Lex Luger in a non-title match, and Mr. Madness will be revealed.

WWF Raw 3/26/01: Kurt Angle complains that he doesn't have a match for Wrestlemania so Chris Benoit takes him up. They brawl and Edge and Christian run out and Benoit gets beaten down by Team ECK. 83 Val Venis vs Tazz. Match Background: None. The Match: Tazz drives a HARD forearm into the chest of Val. Tazz drives a HARD forearm into the chest of Val. Val gets caught with a belly to belly suplex from Tazz! Covers for a quick two count. Running knee lift from Tazz. Covers for a quick two count. Val kicks Tazz in the gut to reverse the momentum. Tazz takes a headbutt from Val Venis. Hooks the leg for a two count. Massive backbreaker on Tazz and I get happy flashbacks to Bret Hart's Five Moves of DOOM. Tazz counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Tazz plants Val with an EXPLODAH~! suplex. Val Venis gets knocked to the ground by Tazz. Here it comes...Tazzmission! Val Venis taps! My Opinion: Slightly above average match. Only gets a **3\4 rating from me. Overall:77 Crowd Reaction:74 Match Quality:81 Crash Holly vs William Regal. Match Background: Crash Holly is the reigning WWF Lightweight champion, and has been since 18 March 2001. The Match: William Regal connects with a HARD right hand, sending the opponent down to the mat again. Back suplex on Crash. Double arm suplex by William Regal connects as Crash hits hard. There's a two count on the pin. Big dropkick by William Regal, who got a ton of air on the move. There's a two count on the pin. Crash Holly comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. William Regal walks into a chop. That must have hurt. There's a two count on the pin. Crash hits a piledriver on William Regal. That used to end matches, you know. Regal blocks the suplex attempt and is able to hit the suplex instead! TIGER DRIVER~! '91 nearly crushes the spine of Crash! Crash Holly is in trouble. Union Jack!!! That shook the ring. Chris Jericho quickly comes running down the aisle and into the ring! William Regal turns around. Chris Jericho drops Regal to the canvas. Chris Jericho quickly locks on the Walls Of Jericho! The referee calls for the DQ because of the interference of Jericho! Chris Jericho pushes the referee aside, then continues to assault Regal! Right hands rain down on William Regal, pounding him into the canvas. Satisfied with his work, Chris Jericho turns and leaves the ring, the damage done. My Opinion: **1/4 rating for this one. Scott Keith may say that it's 'Perfectly Acceptable Wrestling', but not for me, buddy. Got to work harder to impress me. Overall:72 Crowd Reaction:67 Match Quality:78 William Regal makes Chris Jericho face the Big Show for attacking him moments ago. 82 Vince McMahon comes out and he has INDEED bought WCW. He tests reaction of several WCW stars and feeds his own ego. He says he will BURY WCW. He said he will leave it to ROT. Shane McMahon however has signed the contract so the Invasion begins. The beginning of the end. 86 Team ECK vs Chris Benoit, Jeff Hardy, and Matt Hardy. Match Background: None. The Match: Chris Benoit connects with a back heel kick on Christian and gets back up quickly. Flying elbow from Chris Benoit connects. Tag between Chris Benoit and Matt Hardy. Hard back suplex on Christian. Come to think of it, that move had WAY too much power in No Mercy for N64. SUPER frankensteiner on Christian, who hit hard and is loopy as a result. Covers for a quick two count. Matt tags out to Jeff Hardy. Hardy Boyz whip Christian into the ropes and hit a double clothesline. THERE IT IS! A legdrop to the BACK OF THE HEAD! I swear, that makes any match just a little bit better. I don't mind telling you that every time I see it, that's for sure. Christian pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Hard back suplex on Jeff. Come to think of it, that move had WAY too much power in No Mercy for N64. Christian tags out to Edge. Edge with a spinning neckbreaker on Jeff. Death valley driver (not to be confused with the DVD 500) by Edge connects and Jeff Hardy is down! Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. BAAACK Body drop by Jeff gets a bit of a pop from the crowd. Tag to Kurt Angle. Jeff is a glutton for punishment and just continues to take it during this match. Jeff Hardy takes a butterfly suplex from Angle. Jeff Hardy fights out of a grapple. Tag between Jeff Hardy and Chris Benoit. THERE IT IS! A legdrop to the BACK OF THE HEAD! I swear, that makes any match just a little bit better. I don't mind telling you that every time I see it, that's for sure. Tag to Christian. Christian strikes Benoit. Benoit flips out of a Christian bodyslam attempt. Christian gets knocked to the ground by Benoit. Here it comes...Crippler Crossface! Christian taps! My Opinion: A badly blown spot prevents me from giving out more snowflakes. ***3/4 Overall:84 Crowd Reaction:80 Match Quality:89 X-Pac vs Test. Match Background: This will be a special guest referee bout. Eddie Guerrero will be the referee for this match. Test is the reigning WWF European champion, and has been since 22 January 2001. The Match: Test takes a NICE hurrancarana from X-Pac. Diamond Dust from X-Pac and Test is out! Springboard dropkick from X-Pac. Nicely done. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Flying elbow from X-Pac connects. Covers for a quick two count. X-Pac gets taken down out of nowhere! Big kick from Test staggers X-Pac but that's about it. Test DDTs X-Pac, but it just looked terrible. X-Pac pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Test takes a NICE hurrancarana from X-Pac. Albert comes running down the aisle with a chair! X-Pac whips Test into the ropes. Albert jumps onto the apron with the chair! Collision between Albert, Test, and the chair! Test staggers back into a roll up! 1...2...3! It's over! My Opinion: Usually, this is designated for good matches that were usually way too short for some reason. What's your excuse? *3/4 Overall:71 Crowd Reaction:71 Match Quality:72 Mick Foley will referee Shane McMahon vs Vince McMahon at Wrestlemania X-7. 73 Big Show vs Chris Jericho. Match Background: Chris Jericho is the reigning WWF Intercontinental champion, and has been since 21 January 2001. The Match: Big Show hits Jericho. Big kick from Show staggers Jericho but that's about it. Covers for a quick two count. Big Show misses a clothesline. Hard back suplex on Show. Come to think of it, that move had WAY too much power in No Mercy for N64. Show gets caught with a belly to belly suplex from Jericho! Implant DDT by Chris Jericho! I will always and forever mark out for that move. Show blocks a punch. Big Show hits a sloppy double axe handle off the top. William Regal comes running down the aisle with a chair! Show and Chris Jericho continue fighting, unaware of the intrusion. William Regal slides in and blasts Chris Jericho with a chair to the head! Regal climbs out of the ring, the damage done! Chris Jericho can barely stand. Here it comes - Show Stopper. 1....2...3, it's finished. Show and Regal are putting the boots to Chris Jericho! Kane comes running down the aisle with a chair! He slides in, sending Show \ Regal running for cover. Kane saved Jericho from a major beating. My Opinion: I'll give it a *3/4 rating. If you think of it like currency, it's a 1.75. You can't even take the subway with that anymore here. Work harder man. Overall:78 Crowd Reaction:82 Match Quality:69 Brothers Of Destruction vs The Rock and Steve Austin. Match Background: Brothers Of Destruction are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. The Rock is the reigning WWF World champion, and has been since 25 February 2001. The Match: The Rock takes a right hand to the temple from Undertaker. Big clothesline from Undertaker. There's a two count on the pin. Tag to Kane. Brothers Of Destruction hook up Rock, then hit a double suplex. BAAACK Body drop by Rock gets a bit of a pop from the crowd. There's a two count on the pin. Kane hits a right hand. Rock counters a sleeper with a jaw breaker and is able to get free! Powerbomb on Kane. Tag between The Rock and Steve Austin. Steve Austin with a spinning neckbreaker on Kane. Spear by Steve Austin. Steve Austin misses a clothesline. Kane tags out to Undertaker. Big clothesline from Undertaker. Flapjack from Undertaker on Stone Cold. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Uninspired brawling from Undertaker. Undertaker drops an elbow...but Steve Austin moves out of the way. Stone Cold hits a piledriver on Undertaker. That used to end matches, you know. Triple H comes running down the aisle and into the ring! Undertaker turns around. Triple H spins Undertaker around. Triple H hits the Pedigree! HHH leaves the ring, the damage done! ONE...TWO...THREE. Stone Cold defeats Undertaker. Rock \ Stone Cold go into the crowd, where they celebrate their win. My Opinion: *** rating for an above average match. Overall:88 Crowd Reaction:93 Match Quality:79 Overall:80

WWF Heat 3/25/01: Raven is your guest host tonight on Heat. 86 Crash Holly vs Perry Saturn. Match Background: Crash Holly is the reigning WWF Lightweight champion, and has been since 18 March 2001. The Match: Perry Saturn hits some punches. How generic. Crash gets slammed down hard and winces in pain. Crash takes a headbutt from Perry Saturn. There's a two count on the pin. BAAACK Body drop by Crash gets a bit of a pop from the crowd. Covers for a quick two count. Crash Holly comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. Crash scoops and slams Perry Saturn. What's the difference between a scoop slam and a body slam anyway? Hooks the leg for a two count. Spinebuster by Crash Holly. Saturn flips out of a Crash Holly bodyslam attempt. High Angle DDT by Perry Saturn just SPIKES Crash Holly down! Dean Malenko comes running down the aisle with a chair! Saturn goes to irish whip Crash Holly into the ropes. Malenko hits Crash with a chair to the back! Crash Holly gets knocked to the ground by Saturn. Rings of Saturn!!! Crash Holly taps out! My Opinion: I'll give it a **1\2 rating, but that's because I didn't mark out once...but nothing was too bad. Overall:73 Crowd Reaction:68 Match Quality:79 Video involving Stone Cold and The Rock leading up to their match at Wrestlemania. 91 Haku vs Test. Match Background: Test is the reigning WWF European champion, and has been since 22 January 2001. The Match: Wack kick from Test. Haku takes a right hand to the temple from Test. Hooks the leg for a two count. Haku blocks a punch. Haku strikes Test with a hard blow. Haku hits a right hand on Test and follows it up with a couple more. Haku with a badly-executed spinning neckbreaker on Test. One more performed that badly and this match will end on a bad note, if you get my drift. Test elbows Haku in the face to break a hammerlock. Test hits a piledriver on Haku. I know I wouldn't let someone that bad give me a piledriver. Test moves in for the kill. Here it comes - Pump Handle Slam. 1....2...3, it's finished. My Opinion: If it weren't for two great moments in this match, it would have gotten a DUD. Either way, all its getting from me is a 1\2*. Overall:60 Crowd Reaction:61 Match Quality:61 Eddie Guerrero gives an interview bad mouthing Test leading up to their match at Wrestlemania X-7. 93 Kai En Tai vs Hardy Boyz. Match Background: Kai En Tai are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. Hardy Boyz are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. The Match: Standing leg lariat by TAKA Michinoku on Jeff. TAKA uses a basement dropkick to the knee and it looks like it might be TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL~! Hooks the leg for a two count. TAKA drops an elbow...but Jeff Hardy moves out of the way. Jeff Hardy connects with a back heel kick on TAKA and gets back up quickly. Spinning bulldog in the corner and TAKA is down! Tag between Jeff Hardy and Matt Hardy. Flying elbow from Matt Hardy connects. TAKA counters a sleeper with a jaw breaker and is able to get free! Tag to Funaki. TAKA Michinoku scoops up Matt. Funaki bounces off the ropes and hits a flying Hart Attack clothesline. Funaki hits a dropkick on Matt Hardy and gets right back up. There's a two count on the pin. SUPER frankensteiner on Matt, who hit hard and is loopy as a result. Funaki tags out to TAKA Michinoku. Slingshot senton by TAKA, crushing the chest cavity of Matt. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Matt ducks a wild right hand. Matt tags out to Jeff Hardy. Jeff Hardy hits a rolling kick on TAKA. Konnan has ruined any chance for me ever enjoying this maneuver again with his shitty execution of it. TAKA Michinoku gets knocked to the ground by Jeff, who is already climbing the turnbuckle. Swanton Bomb!!! 1....2....3!! It's all over. My Opinion: Great match. Most people would give it ****3/4 or more, but I guess I'm a harsh grader. ****1\2 for you. Overall:88 Crowd Reaction:77 Match Quality:99 Raven closes out the show. 92 Overall:79

Power and Paint for 12/10/03: We are 3 weeks away from Rockin' New Year Warrior and HEY isn't that Theodore Long. Fresh off being fired from the WWE, he is here. He says Playa, 12 times in 2 minutes, and thuggin' and buggin' about 6. Theodore Long says that the black man is underepresented in DDW so he is going to bring some affirmintive action to this shiznit. Ya know what I'm saying Playa. He brings out his charge, Ron Simmons. Ron Simmons comes out and he yells:"KILL WHITEY. CRUSH. DAMN" Long said he will beat up some white boy when he hits the ring next week. Playa. 77(this is the highest rated segment, Non-Hulk Hogan so far, I believe) Bushwackers vs 2 Bad Mothertruckers. Match Background: Luke is making his debut at this show. Butch is making his debut at this show. Bushwackers are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. The Match: Horowitz takes a couple of weak clotheslines. BIG clothesline from Luke. 'BIG' because it missed by a mile! Hooks the leg for a two count. Luke tags out to Bushwacker Butch. Bushwackers whip Horowitz into the ropes and hit a double back elbow. Bushwacker Butch punches away at Barry Horowitz. There's a two count on the pin. Bushwacker Butch connects with some weak punches on Barry Horowitz. Horowitz counters a backdrop attempt with a kick to the face and hit a clothesline! Flapjack from Horowitz on Butch. Horowitz tags out to Maxx Payne. Bushwacker Butch takes a right hand to the temple from Payne. Maxx Payne hits an ugly looking bulldog off the ropes. Bushwacker Butch elbows Maxx Payne in the face to break a hammerlock. Tag to Bushwacker Luke. Bushwacker Luke hits a bulldog off the ropes. Luke DDTs Maxx Payne. Pin, but Payne is out just before the three count. Bushwacker Luke punches away at Maxx Payne only to get the tides turned quickly. Maxx Payne once again takes the advantage after blocking a few punches and connecting with some forearms. Maxx Payne DDTs Luke, but it just looked terrible. Jack Victory has climbed up onto the apron! Luke turns...and falls for the distraction! Maxx Payne attacks Luke from behind! Bushwacker Luke gets knocked to the ground by Payne. Payne Killer!!! Bushwacker Luke taps out! Bushwackers are beaten down three-on-two by the combined forces of Horowitz, Payne and Victory. My Opinion: -*. Somehow, you actually took AWAY from any enjoyment I could have had watching this. Overall:44 Crowd Reaction:40 Match Quality:48 2 Bad Mothertruckers are 2-0 with the help of their new manager, Jack Victory. So Warrior's Corporation consists of:Mr. Warrior(CEO), Giant Gonzales(bodyguard), Sherri Martel(personal assistant), Horowitz and Payne(glass ceiling), and Jack Victory(hmm what role would he play. I guess all good Corporations need a coffee boy). We have a look at a masked man delivering a bunch of Flying Elbowdrops. The graphic says:"Mr. Madness is coming." I don't have a CLUE who might be under the hood. Do you? Thought not. 81 Hacksaw Bradshaw vs Nikita Koloff. Match Background: Hacksaw Bradshaw is the reigning United States champion, and has been since 03 December 2003. The Match: Messed up bodyslam by Koloff almost kills Bradshaw. Sloppy discus punch from Nikita Koloff barely connects on Bradshaw. Side suplex from Koloff. Could have been done a hell of a lot better though. Pin, but Bradshaw is out just before the three count. Nikita Koloff hits a BIG clothesline for two! Hooks the leg for a two count. Hacksaw Bradshaw is able to duck a clothesline attempt and connect with a counter clothesline. Hacksaw Bradshaw punches away at Nikita Koloff. Hacksaw Bradshaw hits a bulldog off the ropes. Koloff blocks a kick from Hacksaw Bradshaw. Nikita Koloff DDTs Bradshaw in a move that is so poorly executed, you can actually see that Hacksaw Bradshaw's head didn't touch the mat at all. Nikita Koloff gets a roll-up...and grabs a handful of tights as well! The referee doesn't see it: 1....2...3!! My Opinion: A DUD here would have actually been generous! -* Overall:60 Crowd Reaction:67 Match Quality:44 Nikita Koloff attempts to get in Hacksaw Bradshaw's pants. I wonder if we are going to see a rematch with the title on the line at Rockin' New Year Warrior. Who knows, because I misplaced my napkin again(this is becoming a BAD running gag). Brian Knobbs vs Lex Luger. Match Background: This will be a special guest referee bout. Marty Jannetty will be the referee for this match. Lex Luger is the reigning Big Red and Yellow champion, and has been since 26 November 2003. Brian Knobbs is the reigning Hardcore champion, and has been since 12 November 2003. The Match: Brian Knobbs punches away at Lex Luger. Knobbs hits a stump piledriver on Lex Luger. Hooks the leg for a two count. Brian Knobbs gets taken down out of nowhere! Knobbs takes a weak kick. A powerslam so weak, my grandmother could have performed it, is actually pulled off by Luger on Knobbs. There's a two count on the pin. Flapjack from Luger on Knobbs. Pin, but Knobbs is out just before the three count. Lex Luger strikes Brian Knobbs. Luger walks into a drop toe hold. Brian Knobbs hits a sloppy ass bulldog off the ropes. There's a two count on the pin. Sloppy discus punch from Brian Knobbs barely connects on Luger. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Big forearm by Knobbs draws laughter from the crowd because it was THAT bad. Brian Knobbs punches away at Lex Luger only to get the tides turned quickly. Luger reverses a waistlock. Lex Luger strikes Brian Knobbs. Sloppy discus punch from Lex Luger barely connects on Knobbs. Brian Knobbs is in control. Marty Jannetty comes up behind...low blow! Knobbs collapses to the floor. Lex Luger takes the advantage. Lex Luger has Brian Knobbs down on the canvas. Here it comes...Torture Rack! Brian Knobbs taps! Vader comes running down the aisle, and gets into the ring! Vader spins Luger around. Vader hits the Vader Bomb! Lex Luger has been left down on the canvas. My Opinion: -*. That's right. NEGATIVE ONE STAR. That's what you get for this CRAP. Overall:57 Crowd Reaction:65 Match Quality:41 Marty Jannetty screwed Brian Knobbs out of the win. Brian Knobbs will face Marty Jannetty at Rockin' New Year Warrior in a...lets see what is a cool new stipulation for a Hardcore Title Match...I KNOW. A hardcore match for the Hardcore Title. This kind of revolutionary thinking is why DDW is number one. Overall:56 0.80 Rating for Power and Paint. NEXT WEEK:Ron Simmons kills a white boy, we will find out more about Mr. Madness, and Lex Luger and Marty Jannetty face Brian Knobbs and Vader. Tune in or don't tune in, I guess.

WWF Raw 3/22/01: Chris Jericho vs Raven. Match Background: This will be a hardcore bout. This match is for the WWF Hardcore title. Chris Jericho is the reigning WWF Intercontinental champion, and has been since 21 January 2001. Raven has been WWF Hardcore champion since 19 March 2001. The Match: Nice piledriver on Jericho. Whip into an upright table by Raven. Death valley driver by Raven! No one executes that move properly anymore. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Raven slams Chris Jericho down and motions to the crowd. Covers for a quick two count. Jericho flips out of a Raven bodyslam attempt. Rude Awakening neckbreaker on Raven by Jericho. Remember when that was a legit finish? Jericho crushes Raven with a running senton. Raven counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Spear by Raven. William Regal comes running down the aisle with a chair! Jericho goes to irish whip Raven into the ropes. Regal jumps onto the apron with the chair...but Raven reverses! Collision between Regal, Jericho, and the chair! Chris Jericho staggers back into a roll up! 1...2...3! It's over! My Opinion: Slightly above average match. Only gets a **3\4 rating from me. Overall:72 Crowd Reaction:82 Match Quality:78 William Regal makes Raven defends the Hardcore Title against Big Show and Kane at Wrestlemania. 72 Grand Masta Sexay, Steve Blackman, and K-Kwik vs X-Factor. Match Background: None. The Match: Dropkick connects to the BUTT of the jaw and K-Kwik goes down. Flying elbow from X-Pac connects. Tag between X-Pac and Justin Credible. Weak bodyslam on K-Kwik by Credible sets up a legdrop. Big clothesline from Credible. Hooks the leg for a two count. Tag to Albert. X-Factor III whip K-Kwik into the ropes and hit a double back elbow. Albert hits a right hand on K-Kwik. K-Kwik comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. K-Kwik hits a rolling kick on Albert. Konnan has ruined any chance for me ever enjoying this maneuver again with his shitty execution of it. Tag between K-Kwik and Steve Blackman. Running knee lift from Steve Blackman. Spear! Albert is down! Pin, but Albert is out just before the three count. Albert charges into the corner, but EATS BOOT and staggers backward. Tag between Steve Blackman and Grand Masta Sexay. Grand Masta Sexay strikes Albert. Sexay uses a basement dropkick to the knee and it looks like it might be TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL~! Albert ducks a wild right hand. Albert tags out to X-Pac. X-Pac uses a basement dropkick to the knee and it looks like it might be TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL~! Sexay tags out to K-Kwik. STIFF high kick on X-Pac by K-Kwik. X-Pac blocks a kick from K-Kwik. X-Pac moves in for the kill. X-Factor! 1....2....3. My Opinion: I'll give it a *1\2 rating. Consider getting more stars to be the adventure of a lifetime. Get started. Overall:62 Crowd Reaction:68 Match Quality:71 Triple H cheapshots Undertaker backstage. 73 The Rock and Steve Austin have a face to face interview about their match at Wrestlemania. 98 Kane vs Big Show and Triple H. Match Background: This will be a 2 on 1 handicap bout. The Match: Kane receives some punishment by Big Show but with that horrid offense, we're the only ones truly being punished. BIG clothesline on Kane. HHH \ Show whip Kane into the ropes and hit a double backdrop. Hooks the leg for a two count. Flapjack from Show on Kane. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Show \ HHH whip Kane into the ropes and hit a double back elbow. Show blocks the suplex attempt and is able to hit the suplex instead! Kane hits a bulldog off the ropes. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Show reverses a waistlock. Big Show hits a right hand on Kane. Big Show scoops up Kane. HHH bounces off the ropes and hits a flying Hart Attack clothesline. There's a two count on the pin. Kane blocks the suplex attempt and is able to hit the suplex instead! High Angle DDT by Kane just SPIKES Triple H down! Covers for a quick two count. Big Show is able to duck a clothesline attempt and connect with a counter clothesline. Weak bodyslam by Show. HHH hits a piledriver on Kane. That used to end matches, you know. Kane can barely stand. Show Stopper! 1....2....3. My Opinion: This match gets two stars from me. Nothing more, nothing less. ** Overall:70 Crowd Reaction:81 Match Quality:72 Edge and Christian hype up their match with Rhyno against all three Dudleys tonight. Edge then tells Christian to get the Rhyno. 82 Christian, Edge, and Rhyno vs Bubba Ray Dudley, D-Von Dudley, and Spike Dudley. Match Background: Dudley Boyz are the reigning WWF Tag Team champions, and have been since 19 March 2001. The Match: Edge scoops and slams Bubba Ray Dudley. What's the difference between a scoop slam and a body slam anyway? BIG clothesline on Bubba. Tag to Rhyno. Flying shoulder tackle by Rhyno sends Bubba CRASHING to the mat. Spinebuster by Rhyno. Covers for a quick two count. Tag to Christian. Rhyno \ Christian whip Bubba into the ropes and hit a double backdrop. Spin kick by Christian to the face sends the opponent FLYING across the ring. Bubba Ray Dudley elbows Christian in the face to break a hammerlock. Bubba Ray Dudley with a spinning neckbreaker on Christian. Bubba tags out to D-Von Dudley. Running knee lift from D-Von Dudley. DEATH VALLEY DRIVAH~! by D-Von Dudley just KILLS Christian! Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Flying shoulder tackle by D-Von sends Christian CRASHING to the mat. Tag to Spike Dudley. Spike Dudley strikes Christian. Christian takes a right hand to the temple from Spike. Christian powers out of a Spike Dudley headlock. Tag between Christian and Edge. BAAACK Body drop by Spike gets a bit of a pop from the crowd. Tag to Bubba Ray Dudley. STIFF~! chop lights up Edge who covers up to try and stop the agonizing PAIN! Bubba hits a piledriver on Edge. That used to end matches, you know. Edge scores with a forearm, sending Bubba down into the corner, squashing the referee. Bubba has pulled something out of his tights! Edge walks over...and ducks the brass knuckles punch! The knux come off. Edge floors Bubba Ray Dudley, and picks up the knuckles himself. Bubba rises...and gets a taste of his own medicine as Edge uses the knuckles to knock Bubba out. The referee gets up to see Edge making the cover: 1....2....3! Another referee comes running down the aisle, and points out to the first official that Edge used an illegal weapon. The referee reverses the decision! Edge has been disqualified! My Opinion: Nothing offensive, but nothing too special either. **1\2 rating. Overall:68 Crowd Reaction:76 Match Quality:77 The Rock vs Chris Benoit and Kurt Angle. Match Background: This will be a 2 on 1 handicap bout. The Rock is the reigning WWF World champion, and has been since 25 February 2001. The Match: Kurt Angle gets up and gives a Belly to belly suplex to Angle. Spin kick by Chris Benoit to the face sends the opponent FLYING across the ring. Benoit \ Angle hook up Rock, then hit a double suplex. Hooks the leg for a two count. Rock gets hit with a running Splash Mountain out of the corner! Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Kurt Angle scoops up Rock. Benoit bounces off the ropes and hits a flying Hart Attack clothesline. Rock drops an elbow...but Kurt Angle moves out of the way. Full nelson slam on Benoit. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Kurt Angle once again takes the advantage after blocking a few punches and connecting with some forearms. A Gut buster connects on Rock and hits hard. Angle \ Benoit whip Rock into the ropes and hit a double backdrop. Hooks the leg for a two count. Rock counters a backdrop attempt with a kick to the face and hit a clothesline! DEATH VALLEY DRIVAH~! by The Rock just KILLS Chris Benoit! Kurt Angle can barely stand. Here it comes - Rock Bottom. 1....2...3, it's finished. My Opinion: This was such a good match, it caused star ratings to magically appear... ****1\4 Overall:81 Crowd Reaction:86 Match Quality:91 Overall:71

WWF Raw 3/19/01: Big Show vs Raven. Match Background: This will be a hardcore bout. This match is for the WWF Hardcore title. Big Show has been WWF Hardcore champion since 25 February 2001. The Match: STIFF~! chop lights up Show who covers up to try and stop the agonizing PAIN! Show kicks Raven in the gut to reverse the momentum. Show strikes away at Raven, not doing much damage at all. Show whips Raven into the turnbuckles...and the ref is crushed! Show DDTs Raven. Pinfall attempt, but the ref is out and can't count to three! Raven fights out of a grapple. Raven smashes a Playstation console over the head of Show. Should have used an X-Box, they're much bigger. Nice piledriver on Show. Covers for a quick two count. Brutal sit out powerbomb on Show! Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Show counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Big Show scoop slams Raven onto and through a table. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Raven backdrops Big Show out of a piledriver attempt. That took a lot out of Raven. Kane comes running down the aisle with a chair! Raven whips Big Show into the ropes. Kane jumps onto the apron with the chair! Collision between Kane, Show, and the chair! Big Show staggers back into a roll up! 1...2...3! It's over! My Opinion: When I give out 3/4*, it means that I'm being REALLY nice about it. Overall:60 Crowd Reaction:56 Match Quality:64 Shane McMahon brings out a contract for a match with Vince at Wrestlemania. Vince comes out and Shane gets beat up by Vince, Triple H, Stephanie, and Trish Stratus. Vince tells Shane that he will see him at Wrestlemania. 92 Hardy Boyz vs Edge and Christian. Match Background: Hardy Boyz are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. Edge and Christian are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. This match is for the WWF Tag Team titles. Hardy Boyz have been WWF Tag Team champions since 05 March 2001. The Match: Jeff hits a dropkick on Christian and gets right back up. SUPER frankensteiner on Christian, who hit hard and is loopy as a result. Hooks the leg for a two count. Jeff tags out to Matt Hardy. Hardy Boyz whip Christian into the ropes and hit a double clothesline. Spin kick by Matt Hardy to the face sends the opponent FLYING across the ring. Hooks the leg for a two count. Dropkick connects to the BUTT of the jaw and Christian goes down. Matt drops an elbow...but Christian moves out of the way. Vicious kick to the teeth from Christian. Christian tags out to Edge. Edge snap suplexes Matt HARD to the canvas! And again! A pair of clotheslines follow and...yep, Edge is a HOUSE...EN...FUEGO~! Full nelson slam on Matt. Edge misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. Tag between Matt Hardy and Jeff Hardy. Super kick by Jeff Hardy. Springboard dropkick from Jeff Hardy. Nicely done. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Jeff Hardy strikes Edge. Edge reverses a Jeff Hardy hammerlock. Jeff takes a NICE hurrancarana from Edge. Rhyno comes running down the aisle and into the ring! Jeff Hardy turns around. Rhyno spins Jeff around. Rhyno hits the GORE! Rhyno leaves the ring, the damage done! The ref gets into position, administers the three count, and it's over. Edge pins Jeff. My Opinion: Great match, it deserves every snowflake its getting. ****1\4 Overall:91 Crowd Reaction:88 Match Quality:94 Steven Richards vs Tazz. Match Background: None. The Match: BIG clothesline on Steven. Tiger bomb by Tazz, which is nowhere near as cool as a botched Pedigree but gets the job done. Covers for a quick two count. Steven Richards reverses a hip toss. STIFF~! chop lights up Tazz who covers up to try and stop the agonizing PAIN! Bodyslam by Steven. There's a two count on the pin. Massive lariat! Stan Hansen would approve. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! BAAACK Body drop by Tazz gets a bit of a pop from the crowd. Tazz counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Steven walks into a jaw breaker. There's a two count on the pin. Tazz plants Steven with an EXPLODAH~! suplex. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Vertical suplex by Tazz. Steven takes a back suplex. Steven Richards reverses a hip toss. Flying shoulder tackle by Steven sends Tazz CRASHING to the mat. Steven Richards scores with a standing spinebuster. The Rock just slid into the ring out of nowhere! Steven Richards gets grabbed, and they start brawling. Tazz takes some shots at Steven as well. The referee, seeing the chaos, calls for a no contest ruling. The Rock has a chair. Steven turns and takes a brutal shot to the head. Tazz is next to take a hard shot. Rock has demolished everyone! My Opinion: It was close to a ** match, but I just can't stand too many blown spots. *3/4 Overall:65 Crowd Reaction:53 Match Quality:77 Triple H vs Test. Match Background: This match is for the WWF European title. Test has been WWF European champion since 22 January 2001. The Match: HHH scoops and slams Test. What's the difference between a scoop slam and a body slam anyway? Test blocks a punch. Test strikes away at Triple H, not doing much damage at all. Test whips HHH into the turnbuckles...and the ref is crushed! Test turns HHH inside-out with a clothesline. Reminds me of Willow's 'Bored Now' skin ripping finisher. Inside joke, don't worry about it. Cover, but there's no one to count for Test! Triple H once again takes the advantage after blocking a few punches and connecting with some forearms. Triple H with a spinning neckbreaker on Test. HHH hits a piledriver on Test. That used to end matches, you know. Covers for a quick two count. Spear! Test is down! Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Test blocks the suplex attempt and is able to hit the suplex instead! Test hits a piledriver on Triple H. I know I wouldn't let someone that bad give me a piledriver. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! HHH pushes out of a Test hold. The two competitors end up in the corner, grappling. The referee tries to break them up, but HHH pushes him away. The ref tries again, and this time Test is the one to shove the referee away...and that prompts a double DQ decision from the referee! My Opinion: I'm capable of giving out high star ratings...but only for matches that really deserve it. This one didn't. **1/4. Overall:75 Crowd Reaction:76 Match Quality:76 Kane meanwhile kidnaps Stephanie McMahon at ringside. 81 Undertaker threatens to have Kane throw Stephanie off the balcony if Regal doesn't give him his match with Triple H at Wrestlemania. Regal says fine, Taker gets his bloody match at Wrestlemania. 73 X-Factor vs Too Lethal. Match Background: None. The Match: Running clothesline from Justin Credible was actually MIGHTY sloppy. Big clothesline from Credible. Credible tags out to X-Pac. Flying elbow from X-Pac connects. Covers for a quick two count. Tiger suplex on Sexay. No Misawa references from me, I swear. Oh, Bloody Hell! Tag between X-Pac and Justin Credible. X-Factor whip Sexay into the ropes and hit a double clothesline. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Sexay blocks the suplex attempt and is able to hit the suplex instead! Tag between Grand Masta Sexay and Steve Blackman. BAAACK Body drop by Credible gets a bit of a pop from the crowd. Full nelson slam on Credible. Blackman tags out to Grand Masta Sexay. Too Lethal whip Credible into the ropes and hit a double clothesline. Credible takes a flying neckbreaker from Grand Masta Sexay. Credible takes a NICE hurrancarana from Grand Masta Sexay. Tag to Steve Blackman. Running knee lift from Steve Blackman. Blackman charges into the corner but EATS BOOT. Tag to X-Pac. SUPER frankensteiner on Blackman, who hit hard and is loopy as a result. Albert comes running down the aisle and into the ring! Steve Blackman turns around. Albert spins Blackman around. Albert hits the Baldo Bomb! Albert leaves the ring, the damage done! Cover gets three for X-Pac, Blackman got pinned. My Opinion: I can be generous sometimes. Well, depends on your definition of generous. **1/4. Overall:73 Crowd Reaction:70 Match Quality:76 Ivory mocks Chyna with a cardboard cutout but the real thing comes out and beats the crap out of Ivory. 71 Edge and Christian vs Dudley Boyz. Match Background: Edge and Christian are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. Dudley Boyz are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. This match is for the WWF Tag Team titles. Edge and Christian have been WWF Tag Team champions since 19 March 2001. The Match: Christian takes a headbutt from D-Von Dudley. Fallaway slam by D-Von Dudley puts down Christian. Hooks the leg for a two count. D-Von tags out to Bubba Ray Dudley. Dudley Boyz whip Christian into the ropes and hit a double back elbow. Hooks the leg for a two count. Bubba Ray Dudley with a spinning neckbreaker on Christian. Christian pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Bubba takes a NICE hurrancarana from Christian. Covers for a quick two count. Tag between Christian and Edge. Bubba walks into a side slam. Think about how much talent it takes to side slam someone. Nash can do it. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Vertical suplex by Edge. Bubba ducks a wild right hand. Bodyslam by Bubba. Tag to D-Von Dudley. D-Von slams Edge. Tag to Christian. Flying shoulder tackle by D-Von sends Christian CRASHING to the mat. Spike Dudley comes running down the aisle and into the ring! Christian turns around. Spike Dudley spins Christian around. Spike Dudley hits the Dudley Dogg! Spike leaves the ring, the damage done! ONE...TWO...THREE. D-Von defeats Christian. Dudley Boyz remain in the ring, celebrating their victory. My Opinion: A ****1\2 rating for a great match. Keep on trucking...you'll get there. Overall:91 Crowd Reaction:88 Match Quality:95 Chris Jericho and The Rock vs William Regal, Chris Benoit, and Kurt Angle. Match Background: This will be a 3 on 2 handicap bout. The Rock is the reigning WWF World champion, and has been since 25 February 2001. Chris Jericho is the reigning WWF Intercontinental champion, and has been since 21 January 2001. The Match: Double arm suplex by William Regal connects as Jericho hits hard. A Gut buster connects on Jericho and hits hard. Tag between William Regal and Chris Benoit. Regal \ Benoit whip Jericho into the ropes and hit a double back elbow. There's a two count on the pin. Benoit walks into a drop toe hold. Chris Jericho hits a bulldog off the ropes. Jericho tags out to The Rock. The Rock scores with a standing spinebuster. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Rock hits a right hand. Benoit counters a sleeper with a jaw breaker and is able to get free! Tag to William Regal. Rock tastes a high angle back suplex. If Spike Lee can sue TNN over the Spike TV nonsense, then Kurt Angle should be able to sue SOMEONE for that. Tag to Kurt Angle. Kurt Angle scoops up Rock. Regal bounces off the ropes and hits a flying Hart Attack clothesline. Covers for a quick two count. Flying cross body off the top rope! There's a two count on the pin. The Rock is able to duck a clothesline attempt and connect with a counter clothesline. Trying to channel the spirit of Misawa, The Rock ends up chanelling Lex Luger instead and nails a running forearm to the face, minus the steel plate, of course. The Rock misses a clothesline. Angle tags out to Chris Benoit. Chris Benoit strikes Rock. Second rope flying axe handle, Rock goes down. One day, Benoit might even consider coming off the top with that. You know...for more impact and stuff. There's a two count on the pin. Rock walks into a face crusher variation. Has anyone's face ever really been crushed by one of those though? Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Tag between Chris Benoit and Kurt Angle. Benoit \ Angle whip Rock into the ropes and hit a double clothesline. The Rock takes a butterfly suplex from Angle. The Rock once again takes the advantage after blocking a few punches and connecting with some forearms. Tag between The Rock and Chris Jericho. Jericho hits a piledriver on Kurt Angle. That used to end matches, you know. Angle tags out to Chris Benoit. Flying elbow from Chris Jericho connects. SUPER frankensteiner on Benoit, who hit hard and is loopy as a result. Tag to William Regal. Second rope flying axe handle, Regal goes down. One day, Jericho might even consider coming off the top with that. You know...for more impact and stuff. Chris Jericho gets taken down out of nowhere! TIGER DRIVER~! '91 nearly crushes the spine of Jericho! Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Regal charges into the corner but EATS BOOT. Jericho tags out to The Rock. Rude Awakening neckbreaker on William Regal by Rock. Remember when that was a legit finish? Big piledriver on Regal. Tag between The Rock and Chris Jericho. Jericho \ Rock hook up Regal, then hit a double suplex. Regal flips out of a Chris Jericho bodyslam attempt. Chris Jericho grabs William Regal from behind and shoves him into the ropes, then scores with a roll-up...but Regal rolls through with the move! He used a pull of the tights to get Jericho over! 1....2...3! The referee was out of position and didn't see it! My Opinion: A badly blown spot prevents me from giving out more snowflakes. ***3/4 Overall:86 Crowd Reaction:84 Match Quality:88 Overall:78

WWF Heat 3/18/01: Kai En Tai are your special guest hosts tonight on Heat. 58 Crash Holly vs Dean Malenko. Match Background: This match is for the WWF Lightweight title. The Match: Crash scoops and slams Dean Malenko. What's the difference between a scoop slam and a body slam anyway? Malenko gets slammed down hard and winces in pain. Malenko is a glutton for punishment and just continues to take it during this match. Covers for a quick two count. Malenko walks into a spinning heel kick which almost causes a decapitation! Hooks the leg for a two count. Malenko blocks the suplex attempt and is able to hit the suplex instead! Dean Malenko strikes Crash. Hooks the leg for a two count. Flying cross body off the top rope! Crash backdrops Dean Malenko out of a piledriver attempt. That took a lot out of Crash Holly. Death valley driver by Crash Holly! No one executes that move properly anymore. Crash Holly moves in for the kill. Crash Bulldog!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! My Opinion: A wise man once said 'Can I get a side of bland with that bland'. He's dead now, though. That's what this match was...bland. ** Overall:68 Crowd Reaction:60 Match Quality:77 Raven vs Val Venis. Match Background: None. The Match: Raven scoops and slams Val Venis. What's the difference between a scoop slam and a body slam anyway? Val Venis charges into the corner, but EATS BOOT and staggers backward. There's a two count on the pin. Raven misses a clothesline. Flying shoulder tackle by Val sends Raven CRASHING to the mat. Raven takes a headbutt from Val Venis. Val Venis with a spinning neckbreaker on Raven. Val Venis misses a clothesline. Spear by Raven. Steven Richards comes running down the aisle and into the ring! Clothesline...but Raven ducks! Val Venis gets hit! Raven knocks Steven out of the ring. Val Venis is in trouble. Here it comes - Evenflow DDT. 1....2...3, it's finished. My Opinion: Smack dab in the middle of the star spectrum for an average match. **1\2. Overall:70 Crowd Reaction:56 Match Quality:83 Kai En Tai segment. 65 X-Factor yack it up. 77 Chris Benoit vs Haku. Match Background: None. The Match: Benoit crushes Haku with a sweet running senton. Haku walks into a face crusher variation. Has anyone's face ever really been crushed by one of those though? Back heel kick off the second rope and Haku goes flying! Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Flying elbow from Chris Benoit connects. Hooks the leg for a two count. Haku is able to duck a clothesline attempt and connect with a counter clothesline. Haku strikes Chris Benoit with a hard blow. Haku DDTs Benoit, but it just looked terrible. Chris Benoit reverses a hip toss. Benoit crushes Haku with a running senton. Chris Benoit has Haku down on the canvas. Crippler Crossface!!! Haku taps out! My Opinion: I'll give it a *1\2 rating. Consider getting more stars to be the adventure of a lifetime. Get started. Overall:68 Crowd Reaction:64 Match Quality:72 Kai En Tai close out the show. 59

Abdullah the Butcher is becoming a non wrestling and Zach Gowan has increased his wage by 10 percent. Greedy little punk. Power and Paint for 12/3/03: Mr. Warrior is pissed at everyone screwing with him so he decides to do something about it. Four people are standing behind Mr. Warrior. Former PWH Champion Giant Gonzales who will be his bodyguard. Sherri Martel will be his personal assistant. Barry Horowitz and Maxx Payne will be now known as 2 Bad Mothertruckers and will be his own personal glass ceiling against people trying to one up him. Mr. Warrior says Randy Savage is now fired, so don't expect him around here. Lex Luger is suspended for the week for daring to win the title from Nikita Koloff from the PPV. He would fire Luger but he doesn't want him showing up on TNA programing and trashing the title. Zach Gowan committed the biggest sin of all and upped his pay by 10 percent. Gowan will face Brian Knobbs for the Hardcore Title. Mr. Warrior said he didn't even HIRE Hacksaw Bradshaw. However Bradshaw will get a contract if he beats Kamala tonight and wins the United States Championship. Mr. Warrior said he will be back later to announce the Main Event for Rockin' New Year on December 31st. Mr. Warrior also extends an open invitation to Nathan Jones and gets the crowd to start a "Free Nathan, Vince" chant. Mr. Warrior then tells the crowd to shut up and said just because they like Nathan Jones, he won't hire him(damn bastard still hasn't gotten himself released from the WWE. Go piss on Stephanie or something, Nathan. I'm begging you). Mr. Warrior says he will be back later. 63 2 Bad Mothertruckers vs Doink The Clown and Marc Mero. Match Background: Horowitz and Payne are teaming up as 2 Bad Mothertruckers for the first time tonight. The Match: Punch by Horowitz, missing Mero COMPLETELY. I'm just glad thatMero didn't sell it. Messed up bodyslam by Horowitz almost kills Mero. Tag to Maxx Payne. Payne slams Marc Mero down. Mero is sure in trouble now. Hooks the leg for a two count. Maxx Payne scores with a crappy looking standing spinebuster. Could have been done a hell of a lot better though. Tag to Barry Horowitz. 2 Bad Mothertruckers whip Mero into the ropes and hit a double backdrop. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Mero flips out of a Barry Horowitz bodyslam attempt. Tag to Doink The Clown. Barry Horowitz takes a butterfly suplex from Doink. Horowitz walks into a jaw breaker. Tag between Doink The Clown and Marc Mero. Doink The Clown scoops up Horowitz. Mero bounces off the ropes and hits a flying Hart Attack clothesline. Spin kick by Marc Mero to the face sends the opponent FLYING across the ring. Super kick by Marc Mero. Tag between Marc Mero and Doink The Clown. Big dropkick by Doink The Clown, who got a ton of air on the move. Horowitz pushes out of a Doink The Clown hold. Tag between Barry Horowitz and Maxx Payne. Payne hits a piledriver on Doink The Clown. I know I wouldn't let someone that bad give me a piledriver. Doink The Clown is all alone...Glass Ceiling!! 1....2....3! My Opinion: DUD. I refuse to say any more about it. Overall:47 Crowd Reaction:42 Match Quality:53 2 Bad Mothertruckers are 1-0 in DDW. You don't want to mess with these Mothertruckers. Zach Gowan vs Brian Knobbs. Match Background: This will be a hardcore bout. This match is for the Hardcore title. Brian Knobbs has been Hardcore champion since 12 November 2003. The Match: Knobbs hits a stump piledriver on Zach Gowan. Whip into an upright table by Knobbs. Knobbs DDTs Zach Gowan. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! A powerslam so weak, my grandmother could have performed it, is actually pulled off by Knobbs on Gowan. Hooks the leg for a two count. Zach Gowan pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Knobbs takes a hard, stinging chop from Gowan. One word: Ow. Back heel kick from Gowan on Knobbs. Knobbs ducks a wild right hand. Messed up bodyslam by Knobbs almost kills Gowan. Zach Gowan can barely stand. Powerslam! 1....2....3. Marty Jannetty comes running down the aisle with a chair and into the ring! Knobbs turns...and narrowly avoids vicious chair shot! Brian Knobbs spins Jannetty around. Brian Knobbs hits the Powerslam! Brian Knobbs has left Jannetty down on the canvas. My Opinion: DUD. That's about all I can say without getting into obsenities. Overall:58 Crowd Reaction:62 Match Quality:49 It's Marty Jannetty's quest to win the Hardcore Title. Brian Knobbs however is one step a head of the Other Rocker. Hacksaw Bradshaw vs Kamala. Match Background: This match is for the United States title. Kamala has been United States champion since 26 November 2003. The Match: Uninspiring brawling from Hacksaw Bradshaw. Check them brawlin' stats, boy. Hacksaw Bradshaw DOESN'T take a page out of Andre the Giant's book and hits an incredibly weak headbutt on Kamala. Hacksaw Bradshaw punches away at Kamala only to get the tides turned quickly. There's a two count on the pin. Punch by Bradshaw, missing Kamala COMPLETELY. I'm just glad thatKamala didn't sell it. There's a two count on the pin. Kamala counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Uninspiring brawling from Kamala. Check them brawlin' stats, boy. There's a two count on the pin. BIG clothesline from Kamala. 'BIG' because it missed by a mile! Bradshaw reverses a waistlock. Bradshaw DDTs Kamala. Hacksaw Bradshaw moves in for the kill. Fallaway Slam!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! My Opinion: -*. Somehow, you actually took AWAY from any enjoyment I could have had watching this. Overall:55 Crowd Reaction:62 Match Quality:41 Hacksaw Bradshaw is your NEW United States Champion and he gets a contract with DDW as well. After a long and dark week, the United States Title is back where it belongs. Around the waist of a 100 percent pureblood America. God Bless Bradshaw. Hacksaw Bradshaw is backstage when he bumps into Nikita Koloff. This should be good. Bradshaw tells Koloff to move his dirty commie ass out of the way. Koloff says that Bradshaw is nothing but an infideal. Thems fighting words, pal. Bradshaw says that if Koloff wants some of him, he can have it next week. Non-Title of course because he is a dirty commie and he says that the United States Title should only go around the waist of an American. Koloff says fine and he says he will finish Bradshaw next week. Hacksaw Bradshaw says that if Koloff wants some of him after the match, he can find him by the showers. O-Kay. 67 Mr. Warrior says after reviewing everything he has decided to have Lex Luger vs Vader for the Big Red and Yellow Title at Rockin' New Year Warrior. Why? Why the hell not. 56 Overall:51 The ratings for Power and Paint need to improve. 2.27 Rating. Back to graveyard next week. That extra segment was SO fine. [sends out a promo tape to comedy central with Warrior shaking the ropes for two and a half hours. If that doesn't win them, I don't know what will]

WWF Smackdown 3/15/01: Eddie Guerrero vs Test. Match Background: This match is for the WWF European title. Test has been WWF European champion since 22 January 2001. The Match: Eddie hits a punch, but takes one right back. Again! A slugfest erupts in the ring! Test strikes Eddie Guerrero with a hard blow. Hooks the leg for a two count. Eddie Guerrero reverses a hip toss. Second rope flying axe handle, Test goes down. One day, Eddie might even consider coming off the top with that. You know...for more impact and stuff. STIFF high kick on Test by Eddie Guerrero. Flying elbow from Eddie Guerrero connects. Eddie drops an elbow...but Test moves out of the way. Weak bodyslam by Test. Chris Jericho comes running down the aisle with a chair! Test whips Eddie Guerrero into the ropes. Jericho jumps onto the apron with the chair! Collision between Jericho, Eddie, and the chair! Eddie Guerrero staggers back into a roll up! 1...2...3! It's over! My Opinion: Smack dab in the middle of the star spectrum for an average match. **1\2. Overall:76 Crowd Reaction:76 Match Quality:77 Steve Austin hypes his match with the Rock at Wrestlemania X-7 96 Because of Chris Jericho's meddling in the European title match, Commisioner Regal makes Jericho face both damn Dudleys in a handicap match. 74 X-Factor vs Billy Gunn, Jeff Hardy, and Matt Hardy. Match Background: Hardy Boyz are the reigning WWF Tag Team champions, and have been since 05 March 2001. The Match: Jeff Hardy kicks the leg, knocks X-Pac down, and goes to work on it. Jeff uses a basement dropkick to the knee and it looks like it might be TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL~! Tag to Matt Hardy. Hard back suplex on X-Pac. Come to think of it, that move had WAY too much power in No Mercy for N64. Matt crushes X-Pac with a running senton. Hooks the leg for a two count. Matt tags out to Billy Gunn. Matt \ Billy hook up X-Pac, then hit a double suplex. Billy slams X-Pac down. X-Pac is sure in trouble now. X-Pac ducks a wild right hand. Hard back suplex on Billy. Come to think of it, that move had WAY too much power in No Mercy for N64. Tag between X-Pac and Justin Credible. Running clothesline from Justin Credible was actually MIGHTY sloppy. Side suplex from Credible. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Credible slams Billy Gunn down. Billy is sure in trouble now. Credible tags out to Albert. Albert hits Billy. Albert slams Billy Gunn down. Billy is sure in trouble now. Billy Gunn elbows Albert in the face to break a hammerlock. Tag to Jeff Hardy. Spin kick by Jeff Hardy to the face sends the opponent FLYING across the ring. Albert tags out to X-Pac. Spinning back kick from X-Pac. Jeff Hardy comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. X-Pac can barely stand. Twist Of Fate! 1....2....3. My Opinion: These guys worked SO HARD...for a ** rating. Something went wrong somewhere, didn't it? Overall:72 Crowd Reaction:73 Match Quality:73 Undertaker attempts to beat up Triple H but manages to get himself arrested. 71 Shane McMahon talks about Vinnie Mac. 77 Chris Jericho vs Dudley Boyz. Match Background: This will be a 2 on 1 handicap bout. Dudley Boyz are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. Chris Jericho is the reigning WWF Intercontinental champion, and has been since 21 January 2001. The Match: Trying to channel the spirit of Misawa, Bubba Ray Dudley ends up chanelling Lex Luger instead and nails a running forearm to the face, minus the steel plate, of course. Bodyslam by D-Von. Dudley Boyz whip Jericho into the ropes and hit a double back elbow. Hooks the leg for a two count. Brutal sit out powerbomb on Jericho! Pin, but Jericho is out just before the three count. Dudley Boyz whip Jericho into the ropes and hit a double back elbow. Bubba Ray Dudley reverses a hip toss. Spinning bulldog in the corner and D-Von is down! Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Bubba Ray Dudley reverses a hip toss. Bubba slams Chris Jericho down and motions to the crowd. Dudley Boyz whip Jericho into the ropes and hit a double backdrop. Covers for a quick two count. Bubba Ray Dudley misses a clothesline. DEATH VALLEY DRIVAH~! by Chris Jericho just KILLS D-Von Dudley! Hooks the leg for a two count. Bubba counters a backdrop attempt with a kick to the face and hit a clothesline! Nice piledriver on Jericho. Spinebuster by D-Von Dudley. Dudley Boyz have Chris Jericho to themselves. 3D! 1....2....3! It's over. My Opinion: I really shouldn't drink when I'm reviewing matches. Especially with Scotsman, I can't drink nearly as much, so I try too hard. It was either ** or ****, but I guess I'll have to compromise and say ***. Overall:81 Crowd Reaction:82 Match Quality:82 William Regal makes Kane vs Triple H later tonight. 71 Bull Buchanan and Goodfather vs Too Lethal. Match Background: Sexay and Blackman are teaming up as Too Lethal for the first time tonight. The Match: A weak headbutt on Blackman by Buchanan causes nothing but pain for both. Bull Buchanan hits a right hand on Steve Blackman. Covers for a quick two count. Blackman blocks the suplex attempt and is able to hit the suplex instead! Blackman scoops and slams Bull Buchanan. What's the difference between a scoop slam and a body slam anyway? Buchanan walks into a side slam. Think about how much talent it takes to side slam someone. Nash can do it. Blackman tags out to Grand Masta Sexay. Hard back suplex on Buchanan. Come to think of it, that move had WAY too much power in No Mercy for N64. Buchanan pushes out of a Grand Masta Sexay hold. Buchanan tags out to Goodfather. Buchanan \ Godfather whip Sexay into the ropes and hit a double backdrop. Goodfather with a badly-executed spinning neckbreaker on Sexay. One more performed that badly and this match will end on a bad note, if you get my drift. There's a two count on the pin. Goodfather DDTs Sexay, but it just looked terrible. Godfather tags out to Bull Buchanan. Side suplex from Buchanan. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Bull Buchanan misses a clothesline. Tag to Steve Blackman. Blackman slams Bull Buchanan down and motions to the crowd. Steve Blackman has Bull Buchanan down on the canvas. Bull Buchanan gets locked in the Guillotine Choke! Submission victory! My Opinion: One SOLE bright spot in this match keeps it from going into DUD territory. 1/4*. Overall:54 Crowd Reaction:48 Match Quality:60 Kane vs Triple H. Match Background: None. The Match: Kane gets slammed down hard and winces in pain. Kane takes a headbutt from Triple H. Kane takes a headbutt from Triple H. Covers for a quick two count. BIG clothesline on Kane. Covers for a quick two count. HHH drops an elbow...but Kane moves out of the way. HHH takes a headbutt from Kane. Covers for a quick two count. Spinebuster by Kane. Triple H powers out of a Kane headlock. DEATH VALLEY DRIVAH~! by Triple H just KILLS Kane! Big Show comes running down the aisle and into the ring! Kane turns around. Big Show spins Kane around. Big Show hits the Show Stopper! Show leaves the ring, the damage done! Cover gets three for Triple H, Kane got pinned. My Opinion: A ***3/4 rating! Yay! Overall:87 Crowd Reaction:85 Match Quality:90 Kurt Angle vs Steve Austin. Match Background: This will be a falls count anywhere bout. The Match: Stone Cold gets nailed with an old school NES to the head! There's better uses for that thing! Ring-shaking body slam on Stone Cold. There's a two count on the pin. Steve Austin powers out of a Kurt Angle headlock. Stone Cold hits a right hand. Steve Austin with a spinning neckbreaker on Angle. Hooks the leg for a two count. Steve Austin throws Angle into a shopping trolley. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Flying shoulder tackle by Stone Cold sends Angle CRASHING to the mat. They brawl to the outside and into the crowd. Hard right hand connects and Angle falls to the concrete floor! Covers for a quick two count. Stone Cold elevates and drops Kurt Angle onto the guard rail and plays to the crowd. They wind up back in the squared circle. Kurt Angle comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. Doctor Bomb and Stone Cold is hurt. Hooks the leg for a two count. Belly to back suicideplex, Stone Cold got folded up big time. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Vertical suplex by Kurt Angle. Face jam onto the table by Angle. Stone Cold counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Stone Cold slams Kurt Angle down and motions to the crowd. Spear! Angle is down! The Rock comes running down the aisle and into the ring! Clothesline...but Stone Cold ducks! Kurt Angle gets hit! Steve Austin knocks Rock out of the ring. Steve Austin moves in for the kill. Stone Cold Stunner! 1....2....3. Steve Austin climbs each turnbuckle in turn, working the crowd as he celebrates his victory My Opinion: Consider yourself lucky, a ****1\4 is hard to get and it was earned every step of the way. Let's see if you can do better now. Overall:91 Crowd Reaction:89 Match Quality:93 Overall:75

WWF Raw 3/12/01: X-Factor vs Hardy Boyz. Match Background: Hardy Boyz are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. This match is for the WWF Tag Team titles. Hardy Boyz have been WWF Tag Team champions since 05 March 2001. The Match: Standing leg lariat by Jeff Hardy on Credible. Spin kick by Jeff Hardy to the face sends the opponent FLYING across the ring. There's a two count on the pin. Tag to Matt Hardy. Hardy Boyz whip Credible into the ropes and hit a double backdrop. There's a two count on the pin. A Gut buster connects on Credible and hits hard. Justin Credible avoids a Matt Hardy avalanche by getting out of the damn way! Weak bodyslam by Credible. Hooks the leg for a two count. Credible tags out to X-Pac. Spinning bulldog in the corner and Matt is down! Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! X-Pac hits a dropkick on Matt Hardy and gets right back up. Matt Hardy pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. THERE IT IS! A legdrop to the BACK OF THE HEAD! I swear, that makes any match just a little bit better. I don't mind telling you that every time I see it, that's for sure. Matt tags out to Jeff Hardy. Jeff Hardy connects with a back heel kick on X-Pac and gets back up quickly. Tag to Justin Credible. Jeff hits a dropkick on Justin Credible and gets right back up. Jeff Hardy has Justin Credible down on the canvas and is ascending the corner. Swanton Bomb!!! Albert quickly comes running down the aisle and into the ring! Jeff Hardy turns around. Albert spins Jeff around. Albert hits the Baldo Bomb! The referee calls for the DQ because of the interference of Albert! Hardy Boyz are left down and out in the ring thanks to the attack of Credible, X-Pac and Albert. My Opinion: Good bout. In my estimation, it's about ***3/4. Overall:82 Crowd Reaction:81 Match Quality:83 Commisioner Regal has a state of the union adress and Chris Jericho comes out to interrupt. Regal gets pissed and books Jericho in a handicap match against members of RTC. 75 Christian vs D-Von Dudley. Match Background: None. The Match: Second rope flying axe handle, D-Von goes down. One day, Christian might even consider coming off the top with that. You know...for more impact and stuff. SUPER frankensteiner on D-Von, who hit hard and is loopy as a result. Covers for a quick two count. D-Von pushes out of a Christian hold. D-Von Dudley hits some punches. How generic. Christian charges into the corner, but EATS BOOT and staggers backward. Hooks the leg for a two count. DEATH VALLEY DRIVAH~! by D-Von Dudley just KILLS Christian! Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Rude Awakening neckbreaker on Christian by D-Von. Remember when that was a legit finish? Christian ducks a wild right hand. D-Von takes a NICE hurrancarana from Christian. Hooks the leg for a two count. Vicious kick to the teeth from Christian. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Christian hits a dropkick on D-Von Dudley and gets right back up. STIFF high kick on D-Von by Christian. D-Von Dudley reverses a hip toss. BAAACK Body drop by Christian gets a bit of a pop from the crowd. DEATH VALLEY DRIVAH~! by D-Von Dudley just KILLS Christian! Bubba Ray Dudley comes running down the aisle with a chair! D-Von and Christian continue fighting, unaware of the intrusion. Bubba Ray Dudley slides in and blasts Christian with a chair to the head! Bubba climbs out of the ring, the damage done! D-Von Dudley moves in for the kill. Super Neckbreaker! 1....2....3. My Opinion: I'll give it a **1\2 rating, but that's because I didn't mark out once...but nothing was too bad. Overall:77 Crowd Reaction:78 Match Quality:77 Vince McMahon and Trish Stratus arrive at the arena in a limo. 100 Kurt Angle talks trash about the Rock and promises to win back HIS WWF World Title belt tonight. It's true. It's damn true. 90 Chris Benoit vs Eddie Guerrero. Match Background: None. The Match: Chris Benoit strikes Eddie. Eddie reverses a Chris Benoit hammerlock. Benoit walks into a high dropkick from Eddie Guerrero, almost losing several teeth in the process. Benoit reverses an irish whip...and Eddie Guerrero runs into the referee! Springboard dropkick from Eddie Guerrero. Nicely done. Pinfall attempt, but the ref is out and can't count to three! Eddie Guerrero misses a clothesline. Hard back suplex on Eddie. Come to think of it, that move had WAY too much power in No Mercy for N64. Flying cross body off the top rope! There's a two count on the pin. Springboard dropkick from Chris Benoit. Nicely done. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Benoit drops an elbow...but Eddie Guerrero moves out of the way. Springboard reverse elbow by Eddie Guerrero. Excellent move. Looks like Muta has giving out lessons. Pin, but Benoit is out just before the three count. Benoit flips out of a Eddie Guerrero bodyslam attempt. Chris Benoit floors Eddie Guerrero. Crippler Crossface!!! Eddie Guerrero taps out! My Opinion: A ****3/4 rating for a great match. Close, but not 5 stars. Overall:90 Crowd Reaction:80 Match Quality:100 Vince McMahon is out in the ring and he rambles on when Shane McMahon makes his return and chases Vince and Trish out of the ring. 92 Chris Jericho vs Val Venis and Bull Buchanan. Match Background: This will be a 2 on 1 handicap bout. Chris Jericho is the reigning WWF Intercontinental champion, and has been since 21 January 2001. The Match: STIFF~! chop lights up Jericho who covers up to try and stop the agonizing PAIN! Bull Buchanan with a badly-executed spinning neckbreaker on Jericho. One more performed that badly and this match will end on a bad note, if you get my drift. Buchanan \ Val whip Jericho into the corner. Bull Buchanan whips Val Venis in for a hard clothesline to follow-up. Hooks the leg for a two count. DEATH VALLEY DRIVAH~! by Val Venis just KILLS Chris Jericho! Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Val Venis scoops up Jericho. Buchanan bounces off the ropes and hits a flying Hart Attack clothesline. Val Venis pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Buchanan walks into a side slam. Think about how much talent it takes to side slam someone. Nash can do it. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Val counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. BAAACK Body drop by Jericho gets a bit of a pop from the crowd. Val \ Buchanan whip Jericho into the ropes and hit a double backdrop. There's a two count on the pin. Chris Jericho avoids a Val Venis avalanche by getting out of the damn way! Springboard dropkick from Chris Jericho. Nicely done. There's a two count on the pin. Val Venis powers out of a Chris Jericho headlock. Spear by Val Venis. Bull Buchanan hits a sloppy double axe handle off the top. Val Venis floors Chris Jericho...and climbs the turnbuckles. Off the top - Money Shot, forget about it. 1....2...3! My Opinion: Smack dab in the middle of the star spectrum for an average match. **1\2. Overall:76 Crowd Reaction:72 Match Quality:80 Undertaker vs Big Show for the Hardcore Title is supposed to happen here but Triple H ambushes Taker. Kane attempts to make the save but Show beats him up. 83 Raven vs Test. Match Background: This match is for the WWF European title. Test has been WWF European champion since 22 January 2001. The Match: Raven receives some punishment by Test but with that horrid offense, we're the only ones truly being punished. A weak headbutt on Raven by Test causes nothing but pain for both. Raven takes a right hand to the temple from Test. I bet those hurt more than Sgt. Slaughter's Noogies. Hooks the leg for a two count. Test slams Raven down. Raven is sure in trouble now. Covers for a quick two count. Test misses a clothesline. Raven slams Test. There's a two count on the pin. Full nelson slam on Test. Test flips out of a Raven bodyslam attempt. Test scores with a poor standing spinebuster. Test moves in for the kill. Here it comes - Pump Handle Slam. 1....2...3, it's finished. My Opinion: Usually, this is designated for good matches that were usually way too short for some reason. What's your excuse? *3/4 Overall:71 Crowd Reaction:72 Match Quality:71 Kurt Angle vs The Rock. Match Background: This match is for the WWF World title. The Rock has been WWF World champion since 25 February 2001. The Match: Rock hits a right hand. Angle blocks the suplex attempt and is able to hit the suplex instead! Kurt Angle connects with a back heel kick on Rock and gets back up quickly. The ref is bumped, as goes down after accidentally getting caught by an elbow to the face. Flying spear out of the corner! Rock nearly got crushed into little bits! Pinfall attempt, but the ref is out and can't count to three! Rock kicks Kurt Angle in the gut to reverse the momentum. Rude Awakening neckbreaker on Kurt Angle by Rock. Remember when that was a legit finish? Full nelson slam on Angle. There's a two count on the pin. High Angle DDT by The Rock just SPIKES Kurt Angle down! Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Angle reverses a waistlock. Reverse DDT into a backbreaker by Kurt Angle. That was interesting. Pin, but Rock is out just before the three count. Kurt Angle gets taken down out of nowhere! Kurt Angle can barely stand. Rock Bottom!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! Steve Austin has grabbed a chair. Angle walks over...and gets floored with a hard shot. Rock also takes a hard shot. Stone Cold has laid everybody out! My Opinion: Great match, it deserves every snowflake its getting. ****1\4 Overall:91 Crowd Reaction:92 Match Quality:92 Overall:84

WWF Heat 3/11/01: Al Snow is your special guest host and he opens up the show. 79 Steve Blackman vs Kai En Tai. Match Background: This will be a 2 on 1 handicap bout. Kai En Tai are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. The Match: Blackman hits a right hand. Fallaway slam by Steve Blackman puts down TAKA Michinoku. Spear by Steve Blackman. There's a two count on the pin. Running knee lift from Steve Blackman. Funaki elbows Steve Blackman in the face to break a hammerlock. Funaki scoops up Blackman. TAKA bounces off the ropes and hits a flying Hart Attack clothesline. TAKA hits a dropkick on Steve Blackman and gets right back up. Super kick by Funaki. Kai En Tai whip Blackman into the ropes and hit a double clothesline. There's a two count on the pin. Power drive elbow by Funaki. That sounds like a feature on a 4 x 4, doesn't it. Pin, but Blackman is out just before the three count. Trying to channel the spirit of Misawa, Steve Blackman ends up chanelling Lex Luger instead and nails a running forearm to the face, minus the steel plate, of course. THERE IT IS! A legdrop to the BACK OF THE HEAD! I swear, that makes any match just a little bit better. I don't mind telling you that every time I see it, that's for sure. TAKA Michinoku scoops up Blackman. Funaki bounces off the ropes and hits a flying Hart Attack clothesline. Covers for a quick two count. Dropkick connects to the BUTT of the jaw and Blackman goes down. Funaki drops an elbow...but Steve Blackman moves out of the way. Blackman pushes out of a TAKA Michinoku hold. Massive lariat! Stan Hansen would approve. Steve Blackman has Funaki down on the canvas. Funaki gets locked in the Guillotine Choke! Submission victory! My Opinion: I really shouldn't drink when I'm reviewing matches. Especially with Scotsman, I can't drink nearly as much, so I try too hard. It was either ** or ****, but I guess I'll have to compromise and say ***. Overall:75 Crowd Reaction:65 Match Quality:85 Al Snow segment. 70 Crash Holly vs Raven. Match Background: None. The Match: Raven connects with rights and lefts and Crash Holly is down! STIFF~! chop lights up Crash who covers up to try and stop the agonizing PAIN! Trying to channel the spirit of Misawa, Raven ends up chanelling Lex Luger instead and nails a running forearm to the face, minus the steel plate, of course. Hooks the leg for a two count. Fallaway slam by Raven puts down Crash Holly. Hooks the leg for a two count. Raven gets taken down out of nowhere! Raven gets slammed down hard and winces in pain. Hooks the leg for a two count. Full nelson slam on Raven. Crash charges into the corner but EATS BOOT. DEATH VALLEY DRIVAH~! by Raven just KILLS Crash Holly! Raven moves in for the kill. Evenflow DDT! 1....2....3. My Opinion: It was close to a ** match, but I just can't stand too many blown spots. *3/4 Overall:70 Crowd Reaction:67 Match Quality:73 Ivory badmouths Chyna leading up to a match at Wrestlemania. 59 Billy Gunn vs X-Pac. Match Background: None. The Match: X-Pac just WAFFLES Billy with a STIFF chop that hurt ME to watch! Dropkick connects to the BUTT of the jaw and Billy goes down. X-Pac kicks the leg, knocks Billy down, and goes to work on it. There's a two count on the pin. X-Pac hits a right hand on Billy Gunn. There's a two count on the pin. Billy blocks a punch. Billy Gunn hits a right hand on X-Pac and follows it up with a couple more. There's a two count on the pin. Billy hits a piledriver on X-Pac. I know I wouldn't let someone that bad give me a piledriver. Billy Gunn misses a clothesline. Power drive elbow by X-Pac. That sounds like a feature on a 4 x 4, doesn't it. Justin Credible comes running down the aisle with a chair! X-Pac and Billy Gunn continue fighting, unaware of the intrusion. Justin Credible slides in and blasts Billy Gunn with a chair to the head! Credible climbs out of the ring, the damage done! Billy Gunn is in trouble. Here it comes - X-Factor. 1....2...3, it's finished. My Opinion: It was close to a ** match, but I just can't stand too many blown spots. *3/4 Overall:70 Crowd Reaction:69 Match Quality:72 Al Snow closes out the show. 71 Overall:65

DDW Viva La Warrior-November 23rd, 2003: Maxx Payne vs Barry Windham. Match Background: None. The Match: Maxx Payne hits a right hand on Barry Windham and follows it up with a couple more. Running clothesline from Maxx Payne was actually MIGHTY sloppy. There's a two count on the pin. Windham blocks a kick from Maxx Payne. Big kick from Windham staggers Payne but that's about it. Payne hits a punch, but takes one right back. Again! A slugfest erupts in the ring! Running clothesline from Barry Windham was actually MIGHTY sloppy. Payne blocks a kick from Barry Windham. Weak bodyslam by Payne. Barry Windham hooks up a suplex, but it is blocked. Payne scores with a low blow, then turns it into a small package! The referee didn't see the illegal blow! 1...2...3! Barry Windham got screwed out of the victory! My Opinion: DUD. I refuse to say any more about it. Overall:49 Crowd Reaction:42 Match Quality:57 Redneck Thunder was SCREWED out of a victory by Maxx Payne. A rematch will be in the cards soon, let me promise you that. Abdullah The Butcher vs Zach Gowan. Match Background: None. The Match: Wack kick from Abdullah. Gowan gets splashed in the corner. Covers for a quick two count. Abdullah The Butcher misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. Zach Gowan arm drags Abdullah over and locks on an armbar. Abdullah takes a chop from Gowan. Face crusher from Gowan on Abdullah sets up for an elbowdrop. Gowan charges into the corner but EATS BOOT. Abdullah hits a piledriver on Zach Gowan. I know I wouldn't let someone that bad give me a piledriver. Zach Gowan is in trouble. Here it comes - Sudanese Elbow Drop. 1....2...3, it's finished. My Opinion: I'll give a 1\2* rating because they were actually able to hit a couple of spots. Overall:58 Crowd Reaction:56 Match Quality:60 Abdullah pounds Gowan into a pulp. I hope Mr. Warrior has gotten it out of his system. His beef with Gowan is Hogan brought him in without making any of the qualifications of PWH/DDW. Honky Tonk Man vs Rick Steiner. Match Background: This match is for the 10 Minute Time Limit title. Rick Steiner has been 10 Minute Time Limit champion since 20 September 2003. The Match: Rick Steiner hits a right hand on Honky Tonk Man and follows it up with a couple more. Big kick from Steiner staggers HTM but that's about it. Covers for a quick two count. HTM blocks a kick from Rick Steiner. Honky Tonk Man with a sloppy back bodydrop on Steiner. We almost had another Benoit/Sabu situation there. Honky Tonk Man with an arm drag that somehow looks like Rick Steiner did all the work. Rick Steiner walks into a suplex from Honky Tonk Manand gets taken down hard. Steiner pushes out of a Honky Tonk Man hold. Powerslam from Rick Steiner on HTM. Honky Tonk Man can barely stand. Belly To Back Suplex! 1....2....3. My Opinion: -*. That's right. NEGATIVE ONE STAR. That's what you get for this CRAP. Overall:58 Crowd Reaction:63 Match Quality:47 Belly to Back Suplex finishes it. It must have been one hell of a suplex. Well our champion's finisher is a clothesline, so more power to Rick Steiner. Road Warriors vs Midnight Express. Match Background: Road Warriors are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. Midnight Express are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. Animal knows Hawk from their battles for World Japan in Japan. This match is for the Red and Yellow Tag titles. Road Warriors have been Red and Yellow Tag champions since 20 September 2003. The Match: Road Warrior Hawk punches away at Stan Lane only to get the tides turned quickly. Big forearm by Hawk draws laughter from the crowd because it was THAT bad. Side suplex from Hawk. Could have been done a hell of a lot better though. Tag between Stan Lane and Bobby Eaton. Hawk receives a spinning neckbreaker from Eaton. Hawk kicks Bobby Eaton in the gut to reverse the momentum. Road Warrior Hawk punches away at Bobby Eaton only to get the tides turned quickly. Hawk tags out to Road Warrior Animal. Road Warrior Hawk scoops up Eaton. Animal bounces off the ropes and hits a flying Hart Attack clothesline. Road Warrior Animal DDTs Eaton in a move that is so poorly executed, you can actually see that Bobby Eaton's head didn't touch the mat at all. Flapjack from Animal on Eaton. Tag between Road Warrior Animal and Road Warrior Hawk. Road Warriors have Bobby Eaton to themselves. Doomsday Device! 1....2....3! It's over. My Opinion: You barely escaped a DUD rating. 1/4*. Overall:66 Crowd Reaction:71 Match Quality:55 The Road Warriors may hold those belts for quite some time. No one else is worthy enough for the belts. Plus Mr. Warrior likes them because of their fashion sense. The facepaint. Brian Knobbs vs Marty Jannetty. Match Background: This will be a texas death bout. This match is for the Hardcore title. Brian Knobbs has been Hardcore champion since 12 November 2003. The Match: Marty Jannetty sets up a chair, then bounces off it to hit a flying avalanche into the corner. VERY Sabu-like. Marty Jannetty hits a shitty missile dropkick on Knobbs. Covers for a quick two count. Marty Jannetty misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. Brian Knobbs connects with some weak punches on Marty Jannetty. Brian Knobbs hits a BIG clothesline for two! BIG clothesline from Knobbs. 'BIG' because it missed by a mile! ONE...TWO...THREE. Knobbs defeats Jannetty. The referee is counting: 5....6....Marty Jannetty is back up. Knobbs hits a stump piledriver on Marty Jannetty. Jannetty counters a backdrop attempt with a kick to the face and hit a clothesline! Badly executed second rope splash by Jannetty. Badly executed second rope splash by Jannetty. Jannetty drops an elbow...but Brian Knobbs moves out of the way. Brian Knobbs moves in for the kill. Here it comes - DDT. 1....2...3, it's finished. The referee counts to 10, this match is over! Marty Jannetty slides to the outside and grabs a chair, then climbs back into the ring. Knobbs turns around...and gets planted with a huge chair shot to the head! He is left down and out on the canvas. My Opinion: One SOLE bright spot in this match keeps it from going into DUD territory. 1/4*. Overall:57 Crowd Reaction:58 Match Quality:55 Two badly executed second rope splashes from Marty Jannetty in a row. I think we will have a third match between these two at the next PPV which has yet to be named. Jim Duggan vs Kamala. Match Background: Duggan will be retiring shortly. This match is for the United States title. Jim Duggan has been United States champion since 20 September 2003. The Match: Messed up bodyslam by Kamala almost kills Duggan. Sloppy discus punch from Kamala barely connects on Duggan. Kamala connects with a crappy looking standing spinebuster. Does everyone use that move these days? Pin, but Duggan is out just before the three count. Punch by Kamala, missing Duggan COMPLETELY. I'm just glad thatDuggan didn't sell it. Hooks the leg for a two count. Duggan blocks a punch. Jim Duggan hits a BIG clothesline for two! Jim Duggan hits a bulldog off the ropes. Kamala fights out of a grapple. Kamala DDTs Duggan in a move that is so poorly executed, you can actually see that Jim Duggan's head didn't touch the mat at all. Kamala has Jim Duggan down on the canvas. Giant Splash!!! 1....2....3!! It's all over. My Opinion: A DUD here would have actually been generous! -* Overall:58 Crowd Reaction:65 Match Quality:42 Jim Duggan seemed rather subdued during this match like this may be his last. Kamala is the NEW United States Champion. Jim Duggan gets on the stick and says that he has been putting this off for too long. He is going to retire. Tonight was his last match. He says he was looking all over for a young star to pass on his two by four to, but he couldn't find one so he settled on Bradshaw. Out comes Bradshaw in Jim Duggan style tights and Bradshaw gives a big ho. Duggan hands Bradshaw his two by four. Duggan has passed his two by four to Bradshaw. Bradshaw then says that if anyone messes with the good ol' USA, he will have their country turned into a parking lot. Hacksaw Bradshaw leaves the ring. 74 Vader vs Randy Savage. Match Background: This will be a cage bout. The Match: Savage takes a headbutt from Vader. Randy Savage charges into the corner, but EATS BOOT and staggers backward. Vader and Savage climb the cage....but both end up crashing back to the canvas after a struggle! Savage reverses a waistlock. Big kick from Savage staggers Vader but that's about it. Vader receives some punishment by Randy Savage but with that horrid offense, we're the only ones truly being punished. Randy Savage drives Vader into the cage side. Savage climbs the cage...but Vader is in hot pursuit, and they both end up back on the canvas. Randy Savage gets taken down out of nowhere! Spear by Vader. Randy Savage can barely stand. Vader Bomb!!! That shook the ring. Vader climbs the cage, Savage can only look on in despair. Vader escapes for the win! Vader is still in the ring celebrating. Randy Savage pushes the referee away. Randy Savage slams Vader down. Randy Savage climbs to the top rope and hits the Savage Elbow! My Opinion: *1\2 rating is all it gets from me. Overall:78 Crowd Reaction:84 Match Quality:65 Vader beats Savage but Savage gets his heat back. Savage is still suspended from wrestling by Warrior by losing this match. Nikita Koloff vs Lex Luger. Match Background: This match is for the Big Red and Yellow title. Nikita Koloff has been Big Red and Yellow champion since 20 September 2003. The Match: Koloff takes a weak kick. Boring brawling from Lex Luger is the cure for insomnia. There's a two count on the pin. Lex Luger misses a clothesline. Big forearm by Koloff draws laughter from the crowd because it was THAT bad. Nikita Koloff hits some weak-looking punches in the corner, but Lex Luger is able to block them and return the favor in spades. Luger takes a couple of weak clotheslines. Luger blocks the suplex attempt and is able to hit the suplex instead! Lex Luger DDTs Koloff in a move that is so poorly executed, you can actually see that Nikita Koloff's head didn't touch the mat at all. Lex Luger floors Nikita Koloff. Here it comes...Torture Rack! Nikita Koloff taps! Lex Luger climbs each turnbuckle in turn, working the crowd as he celebrates his victory My Opinion: -*. Somehow, you actually took AWAY from any enjoyment I could have had watching this. Overall:62 Crowd Reaction:72 Match Quality:42 Lex Luger FINALLY wins the big one. He is the NEW Big Red and Yellow Champion. This should kick off a big title reign. Aw who am I kidding? Flexy Lexy is just keeping that belt warm until the WWE fires Nathan Jones so the REAL next Hulk Hogan can take over. Overall:62 0.30 Buyrate for Viva La Warrior.

WWF Smackdown 3/8/01: Dudley Boyz vs Hardy Boyz. Match Background: Dudley Boyz are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. Hardy Boyz are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. This match is for the WWF Tag Team titles. Hardy Boyz have been WWF Tag Team champions since 05 March 2001. The Match: Bubba slams Matt Hardy down and motions to the crowd. Big piledriver on Matt. Hooks the leg for a two count. Bubba tags out to D-Von Dudley. Dudley Boyz whip Matt into the ropes and hit a double clothesline. D-Von Dudley with a spinning neckbreaker on Matt. There's a two count on the pin. D-Von slams Matt Hardy. Matt reverses a D-Von Dudley hammerlock. Power drive elbow by Matt Hardy. That sounds like a feature on a 4 x 4, doesn't it. Tag to Jeff Hardy. Second rope flying axe handle, D-Von goes down. One day, Jeff might even consider coming off the top with that. You know...for more impact and stuff. Flying reverse elbow by Jeff Hardy. Jeff charges into the corner but EATS BOOT. D-Von tags out to Bubba Ray Dudley. Bubba hits a piledriver on Jeff Hardy. That used to end matches, you know. Death valley driver (not to be confused with the DVD 500) by Bubba Ray Dudley connects and Jeff Hardy is down! Pin, but Jeff is out just before the three count. Bubba scoops and slams Jeff Hardy. What's the difference between a scoop slam and a body slam anyway? Jeff reverses a waistlock. Spinning bulldog in the corner and Bubba is down! Jeff Hardy floors Bubba Ray Dudley...and climbs the turnbuckles. Off the top - Swanton Bomb, forget about it. 1....2...3! My Opinion: Great match, it deserves every snowflake its getting. ****1\4 Overall:88 Crowd Reaction:82 Match Quality:95 Chris Jericho vs Val Venis. Match Background: This match is for the WWF Intercontinental title. Chris Jericho has been WWF Intercontinental champion since 21 January 2001. The Match: Jericho just WAFFLES Val with a STIFF chop that hurt ME to watch! Val Venis just WALKS into a stiff lariat clothesline from Jericho. Jericho hits a right hand. Covers for a quick two count. Big dropkick by Chris Jericho, who got a ton of air on the move. Covers for a quick two count. Val Venis pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Jericho is a glutton for punishment and just continues to take it during this match. Hooks the leg for a two count. Full nelson slam on Jericho. Jericho flips out of a Val Venis bodyslam attempt. Tiger suplex on Val. No Misawa references from me, I swear. Oh, dammit. Chris Jericho floors Val Venis. Walls Of Jericho!!! Val Venis taps out! My Opinion: Some blown spots really drag this match down a notch, so its ***1\2 for you. Overall:84 Crowd Reaction:82 Match Quality:86 Test challenges Kurt Angle to a match tonight to get revenge for Scotty Too Hotty. 73 Chris Benoit wants to settle his difference with the Radicalz. 70 Perry Saturn vs Chris Benoit. Match Background: None. The Match: Dropkick connects to the BUTT of the jaw and Saturn goes down. Second rope flying axe handle, Saturn goes down. One day, Benoit might even consider coming off the top with that. You know...for more impact and stuff. There's a two count on the pin. Benoit charges into the corner but EATS BOOT. Running knee lift from Perry Saturn. Trying to channel the spirit of Misawa, Perry Saturn ends up chanelling Lex Luger instead and nails a running forearm to the face, minus the steel plate, of course. BAAACK Body drop by Benoit gets a bit of a pop from the crowd. Saturn walks into a drop toe hold. Beautiful spinning arm drag out of the corner by Benoit. Perry Saturn gets knocked to the ground by Benoit, who is already climbing the turnbuckle. Through the air, Swandive Headbutt! 1....2....3. My Opinion: A badly blown spot prevents me from giving out more snowflakes. ***3/4 Overall:81 Crowd Reaction:76 Match Quality:91 Dean Malenko vs Chris Benoit. Match Background: Dean Malenko is the reigning WWF Lightweight champion. The Match: Benoit just WAFFLES Malenko with a STIFF chop that hurt ME to watch! Implant DDT by Chris Benoit! I will always and forever mark out for that move. Hooks the leg for a two count. Malenko kicks Chris Benoit in the gut to reverse the momentum. Malenko hits a dropkick on Chris Benoit and gets right back up. Dean Malenko connects with a back heel kick on Benoit and gets back up quickly. Spin kick by Dean Malenko to the face sends the opponent FLYING across the ring. Benoit blocks a kick from Dean Malenko. Benoit crushes Malenko with a running senton. Chris Benoit floors Dean Malenko. Here it comes...Crippler Crossface! Dean Malenko taps! My Opinion: A badly blown spot prevents me from giving out more snowflakes. ***3/4 Overall:81 Crowd Reaction:69 Match Quality:94 Eddie Guerrero vs Chris Benoit. Match Background: None. The Match: Eddie crushes Benoit with a running senton. Tiger suplex on Benoit. No Misawa references from me, I swear. Oh, Bloody Hell! Slingshot senton by Eddie, crushing the chest cavity of Benoit. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Second rope flying axe handle, Benoit goes down. One day, Eddie might even consider coming off the top with that. You know...for more impact and stuff. Covers for a quick two count. Benoit powers out of a headlock. Hard back suplex on Eddie. Come to think of it, that move had WAY too much power in No Mercy for N64. Springboard reverse elbow by Chris Benoit. Excellent move. Looks like Muta has giving out lessons. Eddie ducks a wild right hand. SUPER frankensteiner on Benoit, who hit hard. Chris Benoit gets knocked to the ground by Eddie, who is already climbing the turnbuckle. Through the air, Frog Splash! 1....2....3. My Opinion: As close to a ***** match as possible...but unfortunately, it was missing something, so I can only give it ****3/4. Overall:91 Crowd Reaction:82 Match Quality:100 Test vs Kurt Angle. Match Background: Test is the reigning WWF European champion, and has been since 22 January 2001. The Match: Big piledriver on Test. Test gets hit with a running Splash Mountain out of the corner! Blind lariat by Angle was downright NASTY! Test never...saw...it coming! Pin, but Test is out just before the three count. Fallaway slam by Kurt Angle puts down Test. Hooks the leg for a two count. Test blocks a kick from Kurt Angle. Angle takes a vertical suplex, but pops right back up. Powerslam from Test on Angle. Kurt Angle elbows Test in the face to break a hammerlock. Test got absolutely creamed by a KILLER back suplex. Kurt Angle moves in for the kill. Here it comes - Olympic Slam. 1....2...3, it's finished. My Opinion: Slightly above average match. Only gets a **3\4 rating from me. Overall:78 Crowd Reaction:78 Match Quality:79 Al Snow vs William Regal. Match Background: None. The Match: William Regal gets up and gives a Belly to belly suplex to Regal. Big dropkick by William Regal, who got a ton of air on the move. Covers for a quick two count. Al Snow reverses a hip toss. Regal tastes a high angle back suplex. If Spike Lee can sue TNN over the Spike TV nonsense, then Kurt Angle should be able to sue SOMEONE for that. Snow drives a HARD forearm into the chest of Regal. Al Snow snap suplexes Regal HARD to the canvas! And again! A pair of clotheslines follow and...yep, Snow is a HOUSE...EN...FUEGO~! Regal blocks a punch. William Regal hits a stalling suplex on Snow. Al Snow gets knocked to the ground by Regal. Al Snow gets locked in the Regal Stretch! Submission victory! My Opinion: I can be generous sometimes. Well, depends on your definition of generous. **1/4. Overall:74 Crowd Reaction:73 Match Quality:75 Triple H comes out and rambles on about how he beat everyone worthy beating. A certain Undertaker disagrees and UT comes out and brawls with Trips. 82 The Rock vs Haku-Ishi. Match Background: This will be a 2 on 1 handicap bout. The Rock is the reigning WWF World champion, and has been since 25 February 2001. The Match: Haku is a glutton for punishment and just continues to take it during this match. Flying shoulder tackle by Rock sends Rikishi CRASHING to the mat. Massive backbreaker on Rikishi and I get happy flashbacks to Bret Hart's Five Moves of DOOM. There's a two count on the pin. BIG clothesline on Haku. Haku fights out of a grapple. Haku-Ishi whip Rock into the ropes and hit a double back elbow. The Rock takes a right hand to the temple from Rikishi. Haku hits a sloppy double axe handle off the top. Haku-Ishi whip Rock into the ropes and hit a double clothesline. Covers for a quick two count. Side suplex from Haku. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Rock slams Haku. Rock takes a vertical suplex, but pops right back up. Haku-Ishi whip Rock into the ropes and hit a double back elbow. There's a two count on the pin. The Rock takes a right hand to the temple from Haku. I bet those hurt more than Sgt. Slaughter's Noogies. The Rock powers out of a Haku headlock. Rock ducks a wild right hand. Brutal sit out powerbomb on Rikishi! The Rock has Haku down on the canvas. Here it comes - People's Elbow, forget about it. 1....2...3! My Opinion: Do you know what * means? It's the equivalent of buying your favorite soft drink, looking under the cap and seeing 'Sorry, Try again.' At least you got the soft drink. Overall:70 Crowd Reaction:73 Match Qualtiy:64 Overall:75

WWF Raw 3/5/01 [Very historic Raw coming up. This is the first Raw after the firing of Jerry "The King" Lawler and the first Raw with the commentary stylings of Paul Heyman) Triple H comes out and brags about beating Stone Cold at No Way Out. Out comes Austin and Rock and Angle and we have a slobberknock(tm Jim Ross all rights reserved). This leads to Angle and Trips vs Austin and Rock later tonight. 89 Too Cool vs X-Factor was supposed to happen but Kurt Angle goes all Ken Shamrock and snaps, breaking Scotty Too Hotty's ankle. Angle's primary finisher is the Ankle Lock from this day forward and the Olympic Slam was renamed into the Angle Slam on the next Raw. 80 Eddie Guerrero vs Chris Jericho. Match Background: This match is for the WWF Intercontinental title. Chris Jericho has been WWF Intercontinental champion since 21 January 2001. The Match: Eddie hits a dropkick on Chris Jericho and gets right back up. Lightning kick by Eddie on Jericho. Covers for a quick two count. Jericho pushes out of a Eddie Guerrero hold. Chris Jericho connects with a back heel kick on Eddie and gets back up quickly. Jericho slams Eddie Guerrero down and motions to the crowd. There's a two count on the pin. Massive lariat! Stan Hansen would approve. Pin, but Eddie is out just before the three count. BAAACK Body drop by Eddie gets a bit of a pop from the crowd. Eddie Guerrero comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. Springboard reverse elbow by Eddie Guerrero. Excellent move. Looks like Muta has giving out lessons. Covers for a quick two count. Vicious chokeslam byEddie Guerrero! I'd compare it to Akira Taue, but then that would start another argument on the TSM Forums. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Spin kick by Eddie Guerrero to the face sends the opponent FLYING across the ring. Spinning back kick from Eddie Guerrero. Eddie Guerrero gets taken down out of nowhere! Rude Awakening neckbreaker on Eddie Guerrero by Jericho. Remember when that was a legit finish? Eddie walks into a face crusher variation. Has anyone's face ever really been crushed by one though? Chris Benoit comes running down the aisle with a chair! Eddie goes to irish whip Chris Jericho into the ropes. Benoit jumps onto the apron with the chair...but Chris Jericho reverses! Collision between Benoit, Eddie, and the chair! Eddie Guerrero staggers back into a roll up! 1...2...3! It's over! My Opinion: This was such a good match, it caused star ratings to magically appear... ****1\4 Overall:90 Crowd Reaction:86 Match Quality:95 Ivory vs Lita. Match Background: This match is for the WWF Womens title. The Match: Ivory hits a bulldog off the ropes. Ivory scores with a shitty standing spinebuster. Ivory knocks Lita down to the canvas with a clothesline. Pin, but Lita is out just before the three count. Ivory hits a weak elbow on Lita. There's a two count on the pin. Lita elbows Ivory in the face to break a hammerlock. Lita hits an arm drag on Ivory, followed by about 3 BILLION more. Lita hits a crappy missile dropkick on Ivory. Lita misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. Ivory hits a sloppy ass bulldog off the ropes. Lita can barely stand. Poison Ivory! 1....2....3. My Opinion: A DUD here would have actually been generous! -* Overall:49 Crowd Reaction:52 Match Quality:45 Haku-Ishi vs Brothers Of Destruction. Match Background: Brothers Of Destruction are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. The Match: Haku strikes Undertaker. Undertaker takes a right hand to the temple from Haku. There's a two count on the pin. Haku drops an elbow...but Undertaker moves out of the way. Haku takes a right hand to the temple from Undertaker. Undertaker hits a sloppy double axe handle off the top. Tag between Undertaker and Kane. Massive lariat! Stan Hansen would approve. Haku blocks the suplex attempt and is able to hit the suplex instead! Haku tags out to Rikishi. A weak headbutt on Kane by Rikishi causes nothing but pain for both. Running clothesline from Rikishi was actually MIGHTY sloppy. Hooks the leg for a two count. Rikishi hits an ugly looking bulldog off the ropes. Rikishi tags out to Haku. Flapjack from Haku on Kane. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Kane powers out of a Haku headlock. Bodyslam by Kane. Kane tags out to Undertaker. Haku gets splashed in the corner. Haku is in big trouble...Double Choke Slam!! 1....2....3! My Opinion: It was close to a ** match, but I just can't stand too many blown spots. *3/4 Overall:73 Crowd Reaction:75 Match Quality:70 [insert stupid segment about Vince McMahon making Trish Stratus strip to her bra and panties and making her bark like a dog.] 90 Hardy Boyz vs Dudley Boyz. Match Background: Hardy Boyz are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. Dudley Boyz are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. This match is for the WWF Tag Team titles. Dudley Boyz have been WWF Tag Team champions since 21 January 2001. The Match: BIG clothesline on Jeff. Massive backbreaker on Jeff and I get happy flashbacks to Bret Hart's Five Moves of DOOM. Covers for a quick two count. Tag between D-Von Dudley and Bubba Ray Dudley. Dudley Boyz hook up Jeff, then hit a double suplex. Running knee lift from Bubba Ray Dudley. There's a two count on the pin. Jeff takes a headbutt from Bubba Ray Dudley. Jeff reverses a waistlock. Springboard dropkick from Jeff Hardy. Nicely done. Tag between Jeff Hardy and Matt Hardy. Hard back suplex on Bubba. Come to think of it, that move had WAY too much power in No Mercy for N64. Lightning kick by Matt on Bubba. Bubba Ray Dudley comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. Bubba tags out to D-Von Dudley. Spear by D-Von Dudley. High Angle DDT by D-Von Dudley just SPIKES Matt Hardy down! Pin, but Matt is out just before the three count. D-Von Dudley connects with rights and lefts and Matt Hardy is down! Matt flips out of a D-Von Dudley bodyslam attempt. Spinning bulldog in the corner and D-Von is down! Christian comes running down the aisle and into the ring! D-Von Dudley turns around. Christian spins D-Von around. Christian hits the Unprettier! Christian leaves the ring, the damage done! Cover gets three for Matt Hardy, D-Von got pinned. Hardy Boyz climb opposite turnbuckles, working the crowd as they celebrate their victory. My Opinion: A ****3/4 rating for a great match. Close, but not 5 stars. Overall:91 Crowd Reaction:82 Match Quality:100 Al Snow vs Big Show. Match Background: This will be a hardcore bout. This match is for the WWF Hardcore title. Big Show has been WWF Hardcore champion since 25 February 2001. The Match: Powerslam from Big Show on Snow. Big Show hits a double axehandle off the table onto Snow. Show DDTs Al Snow. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Weak bodyslam on Snow by Show sets up a legdrop. Covers for a quick two count. Al Snow powers out of a Big Show headlock. Show gets caught with a short powerbomb from Snow. Tiger bomb by Al Snow, which is nowhere near as cool as a botched Pedigree but gets the job done. Big Show pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Weak bodyslam by Show. Al Snow is in trouble. Here it comes - Show Stopper. 1....2...3, it's finished. My Opinion: Do you know what * means? It's the equivalent of buying your favorite soft drink, looking under the cap and seeing 'Sorry, Try again.' At least you got the soft drink. Overall:69 Crowd Reaction:73 Match Quality:63 Triple H and Kurt Angle vs Steve Austin and The Rock. Match Background: The Rock is the reigning WWF World champion, and has been since 25 February 2001. The Match: Angle takes a headbutt from The Rock. Rock slams Kurt Angle down and motions to the crowd. There's a two count on the pin. Tag to Steve Austin. Rock \ Stone Cold whip Angle into the ropes and hit a double clothesline. There's a two count on the pin. Bodyslam by Stone Cold. Angle powers out of a headlock. Gutwrench into a stomach breaker. Stone Cold may be winded. Hooks the leg for a two count. Angle tags out to Triple H. Triple H hits a bulldog off the ropes. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Triple H with a spinning neckbreaker on Stone Cold. Stone Cold counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Rude Awakening neckbreaker on Triple H by Stone Cold. Remember when that was a legit finish? Stone Cold tags out to The Rock. The Rock connects with rights and lefts and Triple H is down! Tag to Kurt Angle. Rude Awakening neckbreaker on Kurt Angle by Rock. Remember when that was a legit finish? Kurt Angle can barely stand. Here it comes - Rock Bottom. 1....2...3, it's finished. My Opinion: A badly blown spot prevents me from giving out more snowflakes. ***3/4 Overall:90 Crowd Reaction:91 Match Quality:89 Overall:81