jester

I missed the Raw the night Hogan came back, and I haven't watched it since. I am tired of senior citizens I lost interest in back in 1984 being given so much effort. I was into Batista, but I like how the winner of the Batista/HHH feud got banished to Smackdown. I can't believe they went through with the mole character. It ceased being funny about 0.0003 seconds into the Goldmember trailers (never mind when the movie actually got released), so the last thing I want to see is it resurface on wrestling. It used to be I could ignore the crap and focus on the bright spots. Those are getting harder to spot. And we have HHH's glorious return to look forward too, which as we all know needs to be at least a three part special.

By that logic, you could argue that Sammartino might have drawn more money if he had the Rock n' Wrestling thing that helped get MTV fans exposed to wrestling. Austin is one of the reasons there are so many more opportunities for the WWE to make money. Look, the two men are clearly the biggest money making wrestlers of all time, and you could probably juggle the numbers to make a case for either guy being number one. What bothers me is Hogan's habit of shitting on other wrestlers who might be better at something than he is. I once watched him say Ric Flair was not a great wrestler on OTR...he qualified by saying he meant in the Olympic sense, but why go off in that tangent and not give Flair some well-deserved credit for something?

Later in the interview, Hogan explains how No Holds Barred technically outgrossed Titanic once you factor in the inflation, the Fingerpoke of Doom match had more viewers than Foley's title win and the MASH final episode combined, and how that orange skin of his is the result of the sun shining out of his ass.

Ok, here's my take, which I admit is extremely unqualified since I haven't watched Smackdown in about a century and haven't seen the segment. But here goes: There are certain issues that you do not raise in any form of entertainment unless you are going to handle them skillfully. Child abuse. Murder. Rape. Terrorism. And by skillfully, you have a kind of respect and sensitivity for the people that may have been hurt by these things, and your take is a genuinely thoughtful one with real ideas to express. And when has "genuinely thoughtful with ideas to express" ever been a description of WWE? Six Feet Under features homosexual relationships respectfully and thoughtfully, with lots of ideas to think about. Did Billy and Chuck generate anything more than a few cheap laughs? That's the difference. I haven't seen 24, but I am told it handles issues of terrorism skillfully, showing how a group of terrorists are able to pose as a normal family. Evil can exist right in your midst, that sort of thing. Is anyone getting new insight into terrorism thanks to this angle? I doubt it. I had an idea for Hassan a long time ago: make him a face just wants to compete. He just happens to be Arab-American. Have him be harassed by a xenophonic wrestler like Bradshaw, who makes his heritage the issue. That would be about 100 times more interesting than Generic Evil Foreigner Who Isn't Actually Foreign. And an example of trying a new idea to really provoke thought.

Seconded. It also should not have been HHH that demanded the HIAC match, but Batista himself. This would make a face look particularly ballsy--he insists on fighting "HHH's match" to show he can beat him on his terms.

If they bring Lesner back, they should do it like they introduced him. Have him come out unexpectedly and just annihilate people.

I have to admit, I'm one of them. I was a Warrior mark back in the day. I realize he's crazy as all fuck now, but I used to like him.

I personally like when the really fucking obvious is happening and the announcers can't figure it out. [somebody is out mouthing off, suddenly Jericho's music hits] JR: What's going on? Who's this? [Heel rushes out to sneak attack face and begins pounding the shit out of him] JR: What's he doing here? To his credit, Lawler actually some times calls JR on some of his more idiotic questions and statements.

He didn't appear, but they did acknowledge his birthday a few weeks back.

I am suprised they haven't added HHH to this. God knows nothing can be successful if HHH isn't involved. I'd love to see ECW fans shit all over a 20 minute HHH promo.

They should also not let HHH be the prime mover in the feud with Batista. Batista got over because HHH would mouth off with his shit, and Batista would say something simple and cutting to make HHH look like a tool, without saving face. And when the turn happened, it was Batista that made the split by powerbombing HHH (as opposed to Orton, who was tossed out). Batista should have been the one to demand HIAC. "Not only will I beat you, I will beat you in your own match."

The Lawler Should Come Out of the Closet Watch Update: Lawler seems to be unduly excited by the prospect of seeing Viscera's ass.

This would actually be pretty funny. She should have been in the Kane segment. After that big long speech: "So, like you're pretty upset or something?"

** RAW Results: Hassan & Daivari over Jericho & Benjamin (Hassan pinned Jericho) in 6:05...ECW PPV Commercial...Flair pins Christian in 3:05, Batista saves Flair from double-team...Edge yells at Lita, threatens Kane...Chris Masters wins Masterlock Challenge, assaulted by Steven Richards...Kane chokes Edge, "leave Lita alone"...Chris Benoit no-contest Tajiri in "ECW Rules Match" at 3:50 when Bischoff stopped match, bans Raw wrestlers from ECW PPV, and will bring a volunteer group to the ECW PPV to destroy it... Christie pins Candace in a lingerie pillow fight match, and then Viscera came out. THEN, BARRIERS BETWEEN DIMENSIONS BROKE DOWN, DISRUPTING THE SPACE/TIME CONTINUUM AND CAUSING THE VERY LAWS OF REALITY TO GO UP IN FLAMES. THE SKIES FELL, CATS BEGAN MATING WITH DOGS, BRIMSTONE RAINED DOWN ON THE STREETS, AND VINCE ACKNOWLEDGED THAT HIS DAUGHTER ISN'T VERY TALENTED.

Kane: Don't kiss me! I know where you've been!

One wrong move and she'd get lost up his BUTT crack.

I just painted the walls and floor of my apartment with an interesting new colour called "hint of brain."

Boring chant. Vince: They're chanting boring! Quick, send Chris Masters out to liven things up!

Ok, if Vis starts doing a Barry White gimmick, my head will in fact explode.

Ok, so we've got an angle with the Divas, Viscera, and Lillian Garcia. Is there a way we can make it worse? Have Giant Gonzales do a run-in maybe?

And I was just saying to myself, how could we make this worse?

Christie took a bump during a pillow fight match?

I wish Lawler would just admit he's gay. He's clearly overcompensating to hide it.

Lawler just said that ECW stood for "Extremely Crappy Wrestling."

That Raw energy drink looks like a bottle of butane. I bet it tastes half as good though.