jester

What we need is someone to teach him to have children.

Yeah, and isn't amazing that Orton shitting on Eddie's grave is acceptable...but jobbing the Undertaker isn't?

Wow. The one wrestler I hate more than Hogan. I look forward to the epic Randy "Legendkiller" Orton vs. "Fuckstick" Jim Duggan feud

Let's Create Terrible Gimmicks for WWE? I don't think they need our help, but I'll play. Triple H: Heel restaurant critic. Every day he comes out and insults a city's cuisine. For thirty minutes. Mark Henry: Triple R--Red Rooster Redux! Hulk Hogan: Miss America! Simon Dean: Abandons Simon System, embraces Marlborough System. Encourages children to smoke. Capitalizing on the success of Brokeback Mountain: Undertaker and Bradshaw--Gay Cowboy Wrestlers. Eating pudding.

No problem. They'll just hire jobbing specialist Mick Foley to come in and lay down for all four guys, and then pop back up to shill Mick Foley brand Enema Bags or whatever before disappearing until the next time someone needs a jobber, or Foley needs publicity.

Unless theyre trying to use sarcasm in dvd titles now, it looks like it might be focused on their gilded era and the good things Verne did (like create a huge crop of talent). The downfall was Verne's own fault and was quite hilarious in its pathetic-ness. McMahon: Why is AWA no longer with us? AWA couldn't--or wouldn't--acknowledge that the wrestling landscape had changed, and that what worked in the past wouldn't work in the present. They refused to run with people who were hot. But worst of all, they insisted on running with those who weren't hot, but were related to management. They couldn't reverse the downward spiral, and that was the end of the American Wrestling Association. Thank you, and join us for the next DVD. I'm Vince McMahon, and for some reason I am feeling really uncomfortable right now.

I heard "trying to put me out for another six months when I've already been out for half a year"

Cool. HHH gets to hold Eddie down by proxy.

Yeah, nobody has ever hit McMahon in the history of Raw. "You want to commit career suicide? All you have to do is suggest HHH or my daughter might not be great at their jobs."

Vince McMahon should get a homosexual puppet name Mr. Hat to express his supressed homosexual urges through. That would rule all. McMahon: Tonight...in this very ring...you will face...KAAAANNNE! Isn't that right, Mr. Hat? Mr. Hat: He sure will Mr. McMahon!

Since Eddie's death has allowed them to boost at least one wrestler's fortunes, and WWE likes to duplicate and triplicate what worked once, I bet they will try this tactic again. I bet that WWE will have Jericho come back soon. They'll tell him he has to overdose on something so that Randy Orton can go around morning the death of his "good friend Jericho." Orton will dedicate all his matches to him. "This one's for you, Chris!" It's all part of he latest effort to make Orton mean something. EDIT: And then Undertaker will bury him again anyway.

Count me in, and it goes triple for Hogan. There is absolutely nothing to this feud. Even the marks have to know by know that Foley only comes back to shill the latest offering of the Mick Foley Corporation and job to whoever. Hogan flat out doesn't job. Neither guy can do shit in the ring anymore, so we're going to have a fat guy and an old guy doing punch punch punch until Hogan hulks up. This match "could be good if done right" in the same way that Hassan's character "could be good if done right." WWE doesn't have the skills or desire to do it right, and probably neither do the participants of the match.

If they put the belt on Mark Henry, then they officially have no excuse not to put the belt on ANYBODY. No matter who you consider putting the belt on, you'll always think. "Why not? The belt's already been on Mark Henry for fuck's sake." "Should we put the belt on Snitsky?" "Why not? The belt's already been on Mark Henry for fuck's sake." "Should we put the belt on Jackie Gayda? She's a woman, not a heavyweight, sucks beyond all measure, and now she works for another promotion." "Why not? The belt's already been on Mark Henry for fuck's sake."

"You see your honour, Brock Lesnar signed a contract. He put the pen to the paper, and he signed that contract. And you see when he signed that contract, it was a binding contract. Which he signed. He signed the contract with a pen, and then it was signed. Just like that, it was signed by Brock Lesner. Watch the Royal Rumble this Sunday." Actually Triple H should go to Capitol Hill and become a politician. He could filibuster like nobody else. Coming soon from WWE Films...MR. HELMSLEY GOES TO WASHINGTON.

Vince will probably try to turn it into an angle. I hate the Undertaker, but if this story is true, he has every right to be furious.

Stephanie will probably show up during the trial and say "See? I'm pregnant and they didn't fire me!" Without a trace of irony, too.

I wonder if they'll build on Edge's reign as a heel or face? I wonder how the crowds will react to him once the effect of beating Cena (who the live crowds seem to despise) wears off.

Cool. Shelton Benjamin will be jobbing to a toddler in about a year.

They should have hired Schiavone instead. "This is the GRRRRRRRREEAATest cereal in the history of breakfast!"

Provided that this incident is true and went down as this guy says, put me in the "Orton is a dick" camp. When you're a public figure, you put up with a lot of shit, whether you're in the arena, at a bar, whatever. That's all. If you can't handle it, retire. And I don't care if that guy knocked on his front door to talk shit to Orton, "Fuck the military" is not what a genuinely repentant person says. If fans talk shit to you, you ignore them. That's not only the professional thing to do, it also puts you on the high ground, and gives you the edge. By taking the bait, Orton has only shown the fan got to him.

Well, he did hang around with HHH for all that time.

"You know Hunter, I don't think your program with Jericho was your best work."

Apparently, Hardy doesn't understand why he was brought back. His one purpose in the company now is to be the example of what happens when you piss Vince off. Coming soon: The Matt Hardy Story, a thrilling DVD which explains how Matt Hardy caused the destruction of WCW, ECW, and a 47% increase in ovarian cancer. And refusing the first job to Brock was what? Pot to kettle. Come in, kettle. You're black. Over. The Undertaker is doing him a favor there. If Hardy expects to come out of this feud looking like anything other than a total bitch, he's as delusional as when he heaped all that praise on Lita. Thought that went through Hardy's head at that moment: "Fuck. The Internet smarks are right. Again." The minute JBL touches him, Matt should go down screaming and claim he has a massive injury and is going to sue WWE for every sent it's got. Matt also thought highly of Lita and Edge.

Yes, I've considered that. But I don't believe it to be true in my case. I enjoy many forms of storytelling, and wrestling is one of them. I appreciate story in all forms, including simpler forms. It's not that I have outgrown this format, because even now I still see a grain of the things that make wrestling entertaining here and there. But the people in charge of this format aren't using it to tell good stories. They could. But for whatever reason, they aren't.

Personally, I hope they don't blow this off so quickly. I think first, they should have a match for the number one contendership for the title of General Manager. No wait, a TOURNAMENT to determine the number one contender for the title of General Manager. We need at least 40 minutes minimum on Raw for this per week. Twenty for the promos, twenty for the matches. They blowoff for this angle should occur at one of the big PPVs, like Wrestlemania or Summer Slam, and it should be a steel cage match. Maybe even the Elimination Chamber. And, since we haven't had an announcer feud for almost five minutes, we do the same thing a month later, this time with the announcer jobs. That feud will end with an I Quit match. Next, I want to see a big feud over who gets to be the Vice President of Corporate Communications, with an iron man match blowoff. And finally, we also do a big feud around the ring crew, and who gets to sweep up after the show. Afterall, we don't care about angles about who holds those stupid gold belt things. The real money is in the management feuds. I don't think sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, do you?