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Dr. Zoidberg

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Everything posted by Dr. Zoidberg

  1. Dr. Zoidberg

    Booking for 9/15!

    Shit, I'll pick a place for you guys! The Rose Garden in beautiful Portland, OR
  2. Dr. Zoidberg

    Help!!

    "Handsome Devil" by The Smiths Good song.
  3. Dr. Zoidberg

    What shoes do you wear?

    Emerica Reynolds 3's, bitches...damn yeah.
  4. Dr. Zoidberg

    Booking for the 6/9 HeldDOWN~!

    An old friend will be returning. WHO?!~
  5. Dr. Zoidberg

    THE OAOAST T-SHIRT THREAD~!

    dude...we need a Ragdoll shirt and a Josie shirt!!! Ragdoll: the Jolly Roger symbol (skull and crossbones), only instead of bones, a kendo stick and a cigarette....and an R on the forehead!~ Josie: a pack of American Spirit cigarettes (damn, i love smoking...) only American is replaced by "General" and Spirit by "Manager". At the bottom, it says "100% Hollywood" YEAHHHH, BITCHESS!!!!
  6. Dr. Zoidberg

    BOOKING 4 THE 4/14/SHOW

    Also, if anyone is planning on using Josie, replace her with Jasmine. I don't know why...it could be because I'm kinda tipsy and just partied with some of my skate heroes (CASWELL BERRY!! JERRY HSU!!!)...but I felt like Josie should take a vacation. So, she and K-Money are in England, visiting family and the like. Yeah...I just said that in case someone decides to write it in. WHOO!
  7. Dr. Zoidberg

    AM Announce Team

    I say.... Cole, Coach, and Jasmine ...yeah.
  8. Dr. Zoidberg

    Themes.

    WHOOO!, let's see Ken "K-Money" Baker: "Optimistic" by Radiohead "777" by Danzig (was only used for about, I think...MAAAYBE two shows) "Kickstart My Heart" by Motley Crue Austin "Ragdoll" Baker "Sympathy for the Devil" by The Rolling Stones (used on only one show) "Voodoo Child" by Stevie Ray Vaughn "Deceptacon" by Le Tigre "Handsome Devil" by The Smiths "Nowhere" by The Stitches "Somebody Told Me" by The Killers Josie Baker "Vertigo" by U2
  9. Dr. Zoidberg

    The Angle Awards 2004

    Wow, and you gave me exACTLY where you live...weird.
  10. Dr. Zoidberg

    The Angle Awards 2004

    Where exactly do you live, Hoffton?
  11. Dr. Zoidberg

    Booking for the 2/24 episode!

    NEW MATCH ADDED!!!!!!! The NEW HeldDOWN! Vice-General Manager JASMINE BAKER has been scheduled to take on none other than the OAOAST WOMEN'S CHAMPION HOLLY-WOOD!!! oh, and it's for the title.
  12. Dr. Zoidberg

    Booking for the 2/24 episode!

    I'll attempt a Josie and Jasmine segment. Plus, anybody with female characters, PM me.
  13. Dr. Zoidberg

    Feedback for the 2/17 show!

    A sarong is a small little sheet thing that chicks wrap around their waist over a bikini. or it's a sandwich.
  14. Dr. Zoidberg

    Anglemania 4 Theme Song

    Apparently, my great-grandpappy lived down the way from the James'. Fuckin small world, isn't it?
  15. Dr. Zoidberg

    Anglemania 4 Theme Song

    WAS cool until he had a recurring role on "The Adventures of Pete and Pete" on Nickelodeon as Little Pete's girlfriend's dad. I guess that is kinda cool... and yes, I used to be called "What?"...yeah.
  16. Dr. Zoidberg

    Anglemania 4 Theme Song

    I'm related to Shannen Doherty and the ex-frontman of the Libertines, Pete Doherty by means of my grandma. I have a bitch, a drug addict, and the Vice President of the IRA in my family tree... ....so I got that going for me.
  17. Dr. Zoidberg

    Anglemania 4 Theme Song

    Holy shit...CWM, your cousin was in the IRA?! My 3rd Uncle is the Vice President of the IRA... WEEEEEEIRD!!!
  18. Dr. Zoidberg

    Anglemania 4 Theme Song

    ...you know, Dropkick Murphy's aren't from Ireland...they're also more Scottish and Welsh, from what I heard.
  19. Dr. Zoidberg

    Anglemania 4 Theme Song

    I say AngleMania V be held in Belfast, Ireland. Here's the deal: -The set is a giant fuckin' clover-leaf which spins around and eventually stops, revealing the entranceway. -Everyone's theme music is covered by The Chieftains or some bagpipe band. -There are two cars set up on either side of the entrance ramp, and each car is assigned a wrestler during the match. Let's say, the left car (a Buick Skylark) is assigned to, let's say again, Zack Malibu. The other car (a Volkswagon Jetta) is assigned to...I dunno...Leon Rodez. Leon beats Zack...BOOM! The skylark explodes! ...see, cuz it's in Belfast...and the car-bombs and shit...get it? -The event's music? "Irish Blood, English Heart" by Morrissey! Then, at the end of the show, the winner of the Main Event gets to SHOOT MORRISSEY IN HIS FUCKING HEAD!!! God, I would mark out so much if that happened...but, alas...it won't. -The show can be called "OAOAST AngleMania V: FUCK Protestants! Right? Right? You IRA guys aren't gonna kill me are you?" or "OAOAST AngleMania V: Let's Get COMPLETELY Wasted and sing old Irish Folk Songs while we stumble down Main Street and eventually piss on each other, then buy a couple of hookers which such names as Celeste, Cyn, and Cherry Poppins and have a BIIIG fuckin' orgy while we continue to sing drunken Irish folk songs about a raven-haired lass which broke our bleedin' hearts." I doubt the second one would fit on a marquee, but hey...you'd have a MAJORITY of Ireland saying, "...I can relate."
  20. Dr. Zoidberg

    Anglemania 4 Theme Song

    KEEP READING!!!! SMOOKE.
  21. Dr. Zoidberg

    "Shootin' It Up" - Josie Baker

    COLE V.O. "Josie Baker has been through a lot in the past year. She saw her brother-in-law nearly die from an overdose. She had a daughter. She went to Japan and managed the most successful heel stable in HI-YAH History, The HI-YAH Rat Pack. And now, she faces a new challenge. She has been placed in the second most powerful position in the OAOAST. She is now the HeldDOWN! General Manager. Tonight, Josie Baker sits down and tells us about her life, her loves, and her future. Tonight is Shootin' It Up, with Josie Baker." -We fade in to the middle of the ring. The arena is empty except for the two people sitting inside of the squared circle. None other than Micheal Cole, and Josie Baker. Josie is dressed comfortably, wearing a loose "Libertines" t-shirt and tight brown cord pants. Of course, she has a cigarette. COLE Fans, welcome to another edition of Shootin' it Up. Tonight, a woman who needs NO introduction. HeldDOWN! General Manager, Josie Baker. Josie, welcome. JOSIE Thank you very much, Mikey. COLE All right, we're going to jump right in here, ok? JOSIE Oh, for sure...fire away. COLE Your life...go. -Josie laughs slightly as she looks up. She crosses her legs and looks at Cole. JOSIE Well, I was born in Daly City, which is just a little south of San Francisco, California...I only lived there for, I think, a week before my mother and father decided to bring me, my sister, and my brother down to Los Angeles, which is where I have lived ever since. COLE What was it like growing up in LA, more specifically, Hollywood? JOSIE Well...it was a trip sometimes, that's for sure. Uh...my brother, Arto, and I would constantly walk down Sunset Boulevard and Hollywood Boulevard...my sister, Layla, and I would go shopping in Beverly Hills every weekend, much to the "delight" of my daddy. We would just tool about, you know? Never really having any plans other than school. I mean, it was summer year round, so we would just hang out, do our homework, then hang out some more. And then the next night we'd do it all over again. It was probably the best upbringing I could have asked for. COLE And, it was in Los Angeles, that you met Ken Baker, your future and present husband. JOSIE It was actually at my friend Shelby's house that I first met him. He thought he was so cool, just sitting outside, by himself, smoking his cigarettes. Occaisonally, Austin would be with him, and they'd get into fights with people, hustle them at pool, hit on the girls. What's funny about the K-Money character, actually, is that...that is NOTHING like Ken at all. Where K-Money is outgoing and flamboyant, Ken is shy and reserved. So, it'd always be Austin introducing himself to the girls and then calling Ken over. I remember the first time I ever saw Ken, he was laying on the couch with his arm over his eyes. Shelby brought me over to him, and as soon as he took his arm off his eyes and we looked at each other....oh, we both knew. He smiled so wide...he was grinning like a complete idiot, and I still tease him to this day. Shit, I was grinning like a madwoman...biting my lip, rubbing my arm, eyeing him. COLE Love at first sight IS a reality. JOSIE Well, for us, it was definitely LUST at first site, and we quickly found an empty room and started making out. But, he was different than all the other guys...he didn't grab my ass or my boobs or kiss me all wildly like we could have sex at any second. He was very soft, and he kissed me very passionately...and he'd run his hands through my hair, rub my back... -Josie suddenly stops and looks around. She quickly takes another drag off her cigarette and smiles as she blows out the smoke. JOSIE I'm sorry, I got carried away there...it's just talking about him makes me so giddy. Ok, change the subject. COLE Ha, all right. Where did you first get into pro-wrestling? JOSIE Mmmmmm, the question of the year. Well, my dad kinda raised my brother and I on it, so, I've seen all the greats. I tell ya, I STILL get chills watching the WrestleMania III tape. Anyway, Ken and I joined Shawn Micheals training facility when we were about...18? And uhhh...I got personal training from Spanky and Micheal Shane, while Ken was trained by Paul London and Spanky...so he got all the talent...of course. Anyway, we graduated from there, then packed up and went to Boston, where the IFW was run. COLE Ah...yes...the IFW. You, Ken, and Calvin Szechstein are veterans of that place. JOSIE My GOD, did that place suck! I mean, sure, we got paid a lot...but shit, those guys sucked as promoters. The Great One...oh my god...the greatest day of my life was when Cal and Ken beat the shit out of him and Tornado on their last day. COLE So you went from a great experience with the TWA, to horrible in the IFW. JOSIE Horrible is being nice, Mike. Tornado owned the company...he never told anyone his real name...ugh...and he gave himself and Great One the tag titles, and then they feuded for the World Title. Those two were ALWAYS in character. I hated them. Fuck, I still hate them. COLE Wow. JOSIE Yeah! Ken and I then kinda jumped around to different feds before Ken got a try-out match against Anglesault (Rest in Peace) here in the OAOAST. My god...did those two put on a match. Their two matches that were televised? Those could be considered Kevin Nash quality compared to this match... -Josie puts out her cigarette in the ashtray before lighting up another one. JOSIE So, he and I got picked up...and the rest is history. COLE Well...quite an adventure. JOSIE Fo sho. COLE Well, I asked your brother-in-law, Austin "Ragdoll" Baker about his addiction...that affected everyone in the OAOAST...how did it feel, it being so close to home like that? -Josie's mood suddenly drops. She smiles still, but it's a fake smile. Tears are welling up in her eyes. JOSIE I'm sorry, but that is a sensitive subject for me...Let's just say that Austin put Ken through so much, and there will always be a part of me that will never forgive him for what he did to our family. I still love Austin, I always will, but I tried to block that time from my mind so I can continue to love him and not cry everytime I see him. COLE I hate to stir the pot, but is there any ill-will towards him now? JOSIE No...none...I will always love him as if he were my brother, but what he did to my husband, HIS brother...I can't even think about it, it will make me too angry. COLE I understand. I apologize for bringing it up. -Josie wipes her eyes as she speaks. JOSIE Noooo, don't apologize...you didn't know. Let's just change the subject. COLE Ok...your daughter. -Josie's fake smiles suddenly brightens and turns into a full-on grin. JOSIE My little angel...Mommy's little Angel. COLE You two were recently brought back together after two weeks of being apart. JOSIE Yes, and I love Jasmine to death for it. I am SO thankful that she and I are sister-in-laws...so thankful. COLE Well...are you ready for word-association? JOSIE Fire away, Mickey. COLE Crystal. JOSIE A fine young woman. The few times I have talked to her, she appeared to have a level head on her shoulders. COLE ...Zack Malibu. JOSIE Ohhhhh, our little Zackers. I actually have a question for Zack and Candie: -Josie looks straight into the camera. JOSIE "Why haven't you guys swung by the new place yet?" Huh? C'mon, Malibu is so rediculously close to Hollywood...c'mon. And Candie...next week...two free passes to this awesome day spa with Jasmine...you're coming. COLE ...Mad Matt. JOSIE Matthew A. Harms, you mean? COLE Yes. JOSIE Fuck that guy. COLE ...Axel. -Josie's face lights up once again. JOSIE Adam is family. That's all I'm going to say. Adam is an honorary Baker. COLE Aaaaand, finally...Hoff. JOSIE Funny guy, when he talks...which isn't often. COLE Josie, thanks for joining us. JOSIE No problem...wait, you never asked me about how I became GM! -Cole looks down at his notes and sighs. COLE Dammit...I apologize. JOSIE You crazy kid you... -Josie smiles wide as she ruffles up his hair and goes into a New York accent. JOSIE "Yer messin' up big tyme, Mykey! BIG TYME!" -The screen fades to black.
  22. Dr. Zoidberg

    Who's cooler: Me or Adam?

    And if they DON'T like you, who cares? Damn net-nerds and their elitism. o g0I)!!! Don't FI_4/V\3 /V\3!~~!!!11!!11!
  23. Dr. Zoidberg

    OAOAST.com exclusive!~

    -Fade in to a backstage office. The room is plush, as it should be when you're the HeldDOWN! General Manager. We see empty "Kamel Red" and "American Spirit" cigarette boxes lying across the desk, atop huge stacks of papers. A slightly greasy tuft of black hair is on top of the papers. Suddenly, the phone rings. The head suddenly perks up, and we see JOSIE!~ Her makeup is running and smudged, coupled with tear streaks across her cheeks. She slowly wipes her eyes as the phone rings again. She grabs it and answers. JOSIE Josie Baker....Oh, hi, Jasmine....I'm fine, thanks. -Josie listens for a little bit, wiping her eyes once again. JOSIE No...I haven't been crying...I...Iiii Just have a cold is all. -Josie grabs a little mirror on her desk and checks herself. She grimaces at the sight and grabs a napkin. She begins wiping the bottom of her eyes as she smiles slightly. JOSIE Is Allison doing ok?...I'm so glad, Jazzy......What?.....No...it's just this job is so much more stressful than I thought it would be. People whining and bitching and moaning...it's just...I just miss my little girl. -As Josie says this, she breaks down completely. She attempts to speak through the tears. JOSIE I...I...I miss her, I miss Ken...I miss hearing Allison's laugh, I m-m-miss Ken kissing my ear before I go to sleep...I just miss my family, Jazz! The closest I have to family here is Adam, but he's been busy with Crystal and Drek and I can't just say, "Hey, Adam, let's hang out!" That's not professional at all! I........what?...are...are you in a hallway? -Josie suddenly looks up at the door, and her face brightens in an instant. The camera pans over to the Irish Princess JASMINE, clutching none other than Josie's baby girl, ALLISON!!! Jasmine hangs up her cell-phone as Josie rushes to them. Jasmine smiles wide as Josie takes Allison and hugs her close. JASMINE We thoughtcha might need some company, ay? -Josie softly kisses Allison's head as her little daughter coos. Josie then looks up to Jasmine and smiles. JOSIE Thank you so much, Jasmine...Thank you. JASMINE Aye, me pleasure, Jo....so...Where's me office? JOSIE What? JASMINE Well, Jo, if I'm gonna be yer Secretary, I at LEAST need a cubicle. JOSIE My...my secretary? JASMINE Aye. An' lil' Ali is gonna be the Secretary of the Adorable, isn't sheee? -Jasmine pinches Allison's cheek as Josie smiles wide, staring at her sister-in-law. JOSIE You mean...you'll...you'll be staying with me? JASMINE ...Yeah...obvious. I mean, shite, what're we gonna do in that big house on Mullholland Drive? I swear, we've watched 13 Going On 30 probably fifty times. At least now, we're out of the house, lil' Ali can see her mum, and Mummy Dearest can keep SOME sanity in this harsh, harsh business. -Jasmine takes a tissue and starts wiping at Josie's eyes, which are getting teary again. JASMINE So...chin up, Jo...your family is here. -Jasmine softly hugs Josie, who is repeating "Thank you" through her tears. FADE TO BLACK
  24. Dr. Zoidberg

    The Angle Awards 2004

    Yeah....that's it...That's ALLLL that's making you ineligible...yep yep.
  25. Dr. Zoidberg

    Feedback for this week's show

    HOLY SHIT, MY FIRST DOUBLE-POST!!! STOKE!!! *balloons and confetti drop from the ceiling as a huge parade is held in my honor*
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