HollywoodSpikeJenkins

Remind me again why Nash was never made into an announcer?

Just so you know the finals is a three way dance. It goes 24 => 12 => 6 => 3. Of course I knew that..... I meant Cannon going over Hero, with Petey in the match. Yeah, that's it.

Wham Bam, I'm in.

Paul London with the double-flip! /Smackdown Spoilers Guy

What a slow match. I'm worried about Eddie/Angle now.

Is it just me, or is Kurt and Hass moving in slow motion?

Ahh shit sorry guys.. I'm canadian.. I think ours air's 1 hour earlier. Sorry everyone. Phew. Scared me for a second.

The tag title match happened already?

If people wanted new stuff, why don't they just download it themselves?

D. Are we in Memphis?

D. I'm obviously the heel here.

At the risk of some shameless self-promotion... Battleground '04: I got a no-show victory over Stryke.

Changeplz That is what this thread is here for, right?

Considering I live on Long Island, I figured these shirts would piss most of the people in my age group off...

Anything else?

I don't see Final Fantasy 7 on that list... I'm going to have to post this list, and your name and full address on the GameFaq's board now. DIE!

Female Vampire who kills Nazi's... I'll wait for it to come on HBO.

Greatest. Story. Ever. Edit: Greatest. Sig. Ever.

Cannon going over Hero in the finals. That's my prediction.

I want to thank Rando for destroying the minds of innocent smarks all over the land. The only thing left for you to do, Rando, is to go kill yourself.

Why is Orlando Jordan turning heel on the Undertaker? HE SHOOK HIS HAND! INSTANT MEGA FACE!

Sounds good. Hallowicked?

You need to get laid, dude. .... By a real person.

So I decide to do full on reviews of the show. Might as well as start with the big one. Just call me “Scott Keith Lite”, even though I’m not a fat Canadian or anything. Though Zed is. Here is Part 1 of My GZ Review~! - The Smarky Rant Thingy for SWF Ground Zero 2004! - Your hosts as Cyclone Comet and Bobby Riley. - I wasn’t booked for this show. Want to know why? Z sucks. There, I said it. - Opening Match: Mall Brawl V Austin Sly vs. "The Corona" Vladimir Everheart vs. Edward James vs. Petey the Irish Penguin vs. Ryan Dustin vs. ??? That crazy Mall Brawl stipulation. Who doesn’t love it? And our first ??? Man of the night is none other then…Cutthroat! Interesting…wait…no…it’s The Boston Strangler! Well, after the announcement of Cutthroat, it seems like a let down…but Strangler isn’t THAT bad. And Vlad takes the lead! The rest follow with only Sly taking a elbow from TBS. And everybody goes into separate directions. Sly attacks TBS from behind and THE CHASE IS ON~! TBS and Austin brawl for a bit, but Sly ends up face first into some extra cheese pizza’s. Hmmm…pizza…on the third floor, Petey and the Celtic Misfits run into an “As Seen On TV” store. While trying to find the balloon, he runs into the two owners of the store…LEON SHARPE AND FROST! Both are apparently broke, and need to sell their T-Shirts/Frost Brand Products. I could go for a cigar right about now…Anyway, no luck for the Celtic Misfits. But they now own a couple of Frost Brand Honey Hams. Vlad looks for the balloon, but is stopped by some annoying women who want to take a survey. NO THANK YOU! A brawl breaks out between Petey and Dustin on the second floor, which ends with Dustin on his back…after an Artic Atomic Drop. Sly and James continue brawling in the food court, but both men are taking down by a SUICIDE PENGUIN PLANCHA~! Ryan Dustin is back up, and heads into a Sears, where he finds the GOLDEN BALLOON! But it’s not the one with the ticket. Damn. Vlad heads into a Foot Locker to find nothing, but Strangler! A shoe was begins, as Nikes, Reeboks, and everything you can think of get thrown around. Vlad cheats like a mofo, and spikes a pair of cleats into Strangler. Ouch. Before the war can continue, RYAN DUSTIN HAS THE BALLOON! AND EVERYONE IS AFTER HIM! OMGPILEUP2K4INSIDETHESEARS! Everyone fights for the balloon…as Dustin leaves the store. Everyone fights for the balloon, with Sly getting it, popping it…AND NO TICKET. Bitches. Everyone goes after the balloon as Sly runs into NTD. NTD tries to hide his package, but it is revealed. HE LIKES PANTS! NOOOOO! This leads to an emotional breakdown for NTD, and the whole world weeps for the guy. He only wanted to wear pants. WHY CAN’T HE WEAR PANTS? Dustin heads into a sports store, looking after the ticket…only to be KA-PLUKED with a baseball bat from Mini-Edwin! Dustin no-sells it, and chases after the little fucker. But he is stopped by the SAME WOMEN trying to take the survey. Dustin no-sells her, and gives chase to the Mini Man. NO THANK YOU! Dustin chases Mini-Edwin into a vent, only to be attacked by Wallace McHaggins! When the Celtic Misfits attack! Dustin no-sells it though, and goes after Edwin in the vent! Wallace tries to help, but gets stuck in the vent. You fat fuck. Dustin finally catches Edwin, and the vent’s break and they go through a table! They both make it to their feet; only to find out they crashed into a Mike Tyson autograph session. Oh no. Petey runs in to save his Misfit, and Dustin gets the hell out of there before Tyson can do some serious damage. TBS continues his search, with Sly right behind him in a security cart! SLY HITS TBS! But he no-sells it. A car hit him, dude. We’ve all heard the story a million times. Hell, he’s probably telling it to someone right now. TBS tries to attack Sly, but VLAD TRIES TO RUN THEM BOTH OVER WITH A DURANGO! They dodge out of the way, and THE CHASE IS ON~! Sly and TBS make it to the escalators before they get killed though. But Vlad is right behind them. THE CHASE IS ON~! Strangler tries to run away, but is stopped by THE SURVEY WOMEN. BITCH, PLEASE! NO THANK YOU! Strangler gets past her, BUT RUNS INTO A YANKEES FAN. He tries to do the gentlemanly thing, and help Strangler up. But that no manners Boston fan refuses. As Strangler runs away like a little girl from the Yankee’s fan, the Survey women asks the fan if he wants to take the survey. He agrees, like a gentleman, only to be knocked over by Ryan Dustin. Dustin, who is being chased by Mike Tyson, gets the hell out of there. The fan gets back up, but Tyson knocks HIM down. Damn. All this hate because the Yankee’s rule the baseball world. The fan gets up, and is finally aloud to take the survey. Thank you. Still running from Tyson, Dustin charges into a costume shop. With some quick thinking, he throws on a Petey the Irish Penguin costume! But the obvious happens, and he runs into the REAL Petey the Irish Penguin, if a real Petey existed…Anyway…Tyson prepares to kill both of them, but is on the receiving end of a low blow from Mini-Edwin! Petey and Edwin get the hell out of there, as does Dustin after a cheap shot on the former Heavyweight Champion of the World. Edward James searches through the bookstore, but finds nothing. He then destroys some literature, before eyeing Austin Sly who apparently is chasing after something. THE CHASE IS ON~! Sly found a golden balloon, but it is being held in a giant crowd. Sly goes for it, but Eddie J tries to stop it by releasing hundreds of gold balloons into the mall! Doing this comes at a price though, as he pisses off Comedian and Co-Star of “Bad Boys” and “Bad Boys II” and the star of his own comedy show “Martin”, Martin Lawrence. Martin points out white Eddie is, and EDDIE ATTACKS! Backbreaker Crucifix Powerbomb! And Martin is out! The crowd boos Eddie, but cheer when Sly attacks! SLY FACE TURN! SLY FACE TURN! Sly then tries his turn at comedy, which is pretty bad…SLY HEEL TURN! SLY HEEL TURN! Eddie hits a reverse DDT on Sly and heads for the balloons. The rest of the SWF Superstars come in AND IT’S BONZO GONZO! As the fight over balloons go, Strangler runs into the same Yankee’s fan from before…HOLDING A GOLD BALLOON! He apparently got it for doing that survey…man; did they botch that or what? Strangler tries to take the balloon, but gets a kick in the nuts for his trouble. RED SOX SUCK! The fan tries to run away, but ends up being chased by the entire SWF roster (at least those in this match) and ends up letting go of the balloon. After some hijinx, Vlad ends up with the balloon. As he is about to win, Edward James knocks out Matt Kivell! A ref bump in a Mall Brawl? We are all going to hell. This starts a chase for Eddy Long, as TBS grabs the balloon. THE CHASE IS ON~! After a small collision between TBS, Dustin, Vlad, and Eddie James, Austin Sly grabs the balloon. He spots Eddy Long and we are on final rundown. Sly pops the balloon, grabbing the ticket as everybody is chasing him. Just as he is about to make it, Ryan Dustin with THE SPEAR~! Everyone shows up and fights over the ticket, as it is CLUSTERFUCK2K4INTHEMALL! After a Wallace Cannonball and a Mini-Edwin Slip-N-Slide, Petey gets the ticket. He rushes over to Long. WE HAVE A WINNER! NO! WE DON’T! IT’S NOT EDDY LONG! IT’S REALLY…Cutthroat? What the hell? He wants revenge and he is going to win this Mall Brawl! Cutthroat wins a match? Not very likely, as he is stopped by Mike Tyson and Martin Lawrence. And good night, Cutthroat. At least he wasn’t locked in a bathroom this time. Eddie James gets the ticket but is stopped by a Space Flying Tiger Dropkick by Dustin. Petey, TBS, and Sly all battle for the ticket as VLAD RUNS THEM OVER WITH THE DURANGO! Matt Kivell finally wakes up as Vlad grabs for the ticket…BUT TBS IS HOLDING IT! TBS wins Mall Brawl V @ 24:05. I don’t rate Mall Brawls. But this one was crazy fun, even though a little predictable at times. A slow start, but it got going into the middle and end. A fun time had by all, and a nice One Night Only Return for TBS. Too bad the Red Sox suck. - In the back, John Duran wants to be put back in the main event scene. Zenon won’t allow it, and tells Duran to beat someone worthwhile. Duran thinks of someone, and what a surprise, we don’t know who. - ??? Vs. Candace Frisco opens the match up with some cheap heel heat against the Texas crowd. Whatever floats your boat, I guess. The second ??? Of the night is…the returning Mike Van Siclen! Returning from his Hawaiian vacation. Is he still one half of the tag team champions or not? His tag partner, and half of the tag team champions, Todd Cortez, accompanies Siclen to the ring. Siclen offers a handshake, but instead slaps the taste out of Candace’s mouth. What a dick. Mike continues to act like a dick, only to receive a dropkick from the Female Fatal Fury. Arm drag and a slap on the returning Siclen. Kick is blocked, but an enziguri and a diving dropkick to the face keep Mike on the mat. Buzz saw kick and rolling thunder get two. Mike fights up, and brings Candace down to the mat. Stalling brainbuster gets a close three on Candace. Sit out jawbreaker gets two. Guillotine Legdrop is stopped by Frisco, but Cortez is here to save. Candace comes back with a dropkick and a low blow, followed by a hurricanrana for two. Small package gets two. Candace works the knee over, locking in a STF. Mike makes the ropes, only to receive a rolling thunder on his leg for a one count. Candace goes for a Diamond Cutter, but Mike counters with a clothesline. Mike bails, only to come back with a DDT. Mike goes up top, but quickly rethinks it. This allows Candace the time for a breather, as she hits a low blow and a Diamond Cutter. She makes the rookie mistake of heading to the top rope instead of going for the cover, and is stopped by Todd. Instead of Mike getting DQed, Todd gets a warning. What is that? Candace recovers and goes back up top, but Mike is waiting for her. Mike heads up top, but Candace counters WITH A SUPLEX TO THE FLOOR! THEY ARE BOTH DEAD! A Pier 7 brawl breaks out between Todd, Frisco, and Lobo. Mike and Candace somehow get to their feet before the ten count, but Candace MISTS~ Mike and he isn’t able to beat the count @ 7:12. Didn’t flow very well, and the lack of selling hurt it. No reason not to end it after the Diamond Cutter, and the top rope suplex to the floor should of killed both of them. Did we really need a count out on a PPV? And why wasn’t Mike or Candace DQed after all the interference? It started telling a good story with the veteran Mike trying to keep the upstart Candace from her speedy offense, but lost it towards the middle. *. - Mike decided to give us some promo time after the match. And about 10 seconds in, takes a quick jab at Revolution Zero. Not smart, Mikey. He calls out Masked Man, who comes out to a pop. They both go at it over whom the true tag team champion is, only to be broken apart by Todd Cortez. Cortez says that he will defend the tag titles with MM tonight. But after the PPV, Mike will get his title back. They all argue, which draws out Zenon…to repeat everything Cortez says. But if Team Flip Flop wins the tag titles, Hollywood Boulevard gets the rematch. Not 42nd Street. I must admit. This intrigues me. Except Masked Man. He sucks. - SWF Hardcore Gamers Title: Martin “Big Country” Hunt © vs. “The Perfect Storm” Sean Davis A hype video for the main event starts us off before the match. Davis is a member of Revolution Zero, the greatest stable in the past 3 months. Interesting line here by Comet, "Maybe there's an intricate plot to hold down Spike. That might explain why he lost the Cruiserweight Title so quickly." I agree. They start the brawl at the top of the stage as Hunt makes his entrance. The challenger wins it and hits a tackle. David begins to drink from Hunt’s bottle of Southern Comfort, enraging the drunk, allowing him to clip the big man. Hunt hits a flurry of punches, but a baseball bat shot is reversed. The show finally picks up as SPIKE~ comes out to a deafening pop. The crowd LOVES Spike. He congratulates Davis on his title victory; even though the match isn’t over…they agree to work as a team again. This allows them to work together and nail Hunt with the Perfect Spike to give Revolution Zero the Hardcore Gamers Title @ 4:47. Not much of a match here as things never really got going. Pretty much a squash for the monster of Rev-0. Does this mean that Toxxic will walk out with the World Heavyweight title? Only time will tell. ½*. - A nice video to set up the lineage of the USJL Title and for the upcoming title match. - SWF United States Junior League Title: Manson © vs. “The Icon” Max King Kelly introduces Max and his entrance takes FOREVER. King goes for the single leg takedown, but Manson stops it with clubbing forearms and a knee to the face. Manson gets two arm drag takeovers and a knuckle lock, but Max fights to his feet and gets a thumb to the eyes. King pounds on Manson, hitting a lariat that sends the champ to the ground. Rolling neck snap that is an ode to Curt Hennig by the challenger. Manson fights back with a couple of elbows and knife-edged chops, and a earth shattering kick to the spine. Manson hits two suplexs for a one count. Manson with a go behind, but King breaks out of it and hits his own suplex. Short arm clothesline gets one. King gets a bear hug, but Manson HULKS UP~ and elbows his way out. King bails, but comes back with a low blow thanks to a little distraction from Kelly. School boy gets two. A Fujiwara arm bar by the champion counters the go behind by King! You mean to tell me, that Manson knows a WRESTLING MOVE? He can do something other than an elbow? King makes it to the ropes, ending the arm bar. King fights to his feet, and hits a backbreaker. King Buster gets two. Both get to their feet, and the challenger blocks a Consequence, but gets locked in the Anathema and Manson retains @ 7:24. A lot of brawling with no real flow. Person A hits Person B with move. Person B fights back to take control. Person B hits Person A with move, etc. The arm work was strong, though a little lacking. A good title defense, nonetheless. **.

Eww. Dames...eww...