Kinetic

Oh, Vitamin X. Don't you remember last year's *coughweek13cough* debacle? You can't start a new NFL thread until the previous week's games have been completed. As the final gun has yet to signal the end of tonight's Cleveland-Philadelphia thriller, this thread is illegitimate and will forever bear the asterisk (*) of shame and illegitimacy and shame.

Yeah, I was really excited to see Harley lose and the Lonestars win. That this Lonestars person (not sure which poster it is) started Culpepper suggests that the person might not being paying much attention. Advantage: Cleveland Steamers. I feel a Marvin-Kinetic clash of titans coming on in the final.

It's starting to look like Carolina might be the best team in the NFC. Could be a pretty epic game next Sunday night, although not if the Giants of the last two weeks show up. If the road to the Super Bowl goes through the hallowed grounds of Bank of America Stadium, I don't see the Panthers losing in the playoffs.

YESSSSS!

The Bucs could very well still make the playoffs, but they won't win when they get there because they absolutely cannot play well on the road. They just killed themselves with penalties today, over and over and over again. Any goodwill I had towards Jeremy Trueblood after winning the Chicago game with his forearm is long gone; the guy is a walking false start penalty and was abused repeatedly today by John Abraham. I think we had one unpenalized special teams play all day: the blocked punt. Other than that, it was a constant stream of the sort of stupid 'block in the back' penalties that we don't commit at home. Oh, and FUCK BRIAN GRIESE. Goddamn, the guy's a fucking limp-armed statue. I'm almost tempted to say get rid of Gruden, just so I don't ever have to see Griese's worthless immobile ass take a snap for my favorite team ever again. He barely looked at Antonio Bryant in the second half, even after the first half made it clear that Atlanta couldn't cover him. Ugh. Amazing that this season has take such a shitty turn so quickly. Oh, and Pittsburgh is winning the Super Bowl this year.

I'm so tough that I'd walk around with a shattered face like didn't nothin happen. Fractured skull, jagged bone shards jutting into my sinus cavity...don't matter to me. I'll still be fightin and fuckin and foodin like I always done.

I'll fite u, u poser. I'll break your glasses. You'll have to buy new glasses.

Corey Lazarus. We could give each other tattoos, smoke a bowl for courage, and then go commit some hate crimes.

Ain't a man, woman, or child alive who could take my left hook and keep standing. I fought a Chinaman for a barrel of fish, I fought a hobo for a hat, I've been in Toughman competitions in every truck stop town in the buttfuckinest parts of the South; I love to fight and can't nobody, man or beast, beat me. I'd take on anyone here. Who wants some? Luke-O? Amnesia Glasscock? JHawk? I'll use your hair to mop up your blood. You don't want none of me. I'm wild. I'm unpredictable.

Yeah, I think "THE ESTABLISHMENT~!" was just a list of posters who were either well-liked (Kinetic) or too obnoxious to ignore (Anglesault). I can't remember it serving any purpose beyond that, although it was subject to a vote so I guess you could consider it a sort of primitive precursor to our sophisticated modern poster tournament. I have no recollection of The Saga. Was that Kotz's fascist dictatorship thing?

New Orleans at Chicago Didn't get this one in on time. But I had planned on picking Chicago, promise. The Saints are done for all intents and purposes, but I hope the stars align to keep them mathematically alive through week 17 so they'll have a reason to show up against Carolina. Tampa Bay at Atlanta Another HUGE game for both teams. With Garcia possibly out, I'm tempted to pick Atlanta to "protect the dome." But I can't. Tampa is the better team and the defense is going to want to punch someone in the mouth after that awful Monday night performance. Bucs by 3. Washington at Cincinnati The Bengals are still around? Man, some of these late-season games can just be death. Washington by 10. Tennessee at Houston A Houston team that's peaking a little too late will give the Titans a game, but Tennessee, like so many irresponsible posters at the bottom of this message board, will pull it out in the end. Titans by 6. Detroit at Indianapolis Poor Detroit. Colts by 24. Green Bay at Jacksonville A consolation game of sorts between two very disappointing teams. Packers by 4. San Diego at Kansas City Even this shit-ass Chargers team can't lose to Kansas City. San Diego by 7. San Francisco at Miami It's in Miami, so I'll go with the Dolphins. I'm starting to think that they'll win that division, too. Dolphins by 8. Buffalo at N.Y. Jets The Jets sorta get back on track against a beat up and demoralized Buffalo team. Jets by 13. Seattle at St. Louis Living in an NFL TV market sucks. Instead of Bucs-Falcons or just ANYTHING else, we get this abomination here in the early game. Uh...Seahawks by 6. Minnesota at Arizona Hey, this is a pretty interesting game. Arizona's been pretty good at home this year, but they're pretty much locked into either the #3 or #4 seed. The Vikings have every reason to show up, but Tarvaris Jackson is starting. I think the Cards pull this one out, enabling Chicago to inch ever closer to the NFC North crown. Cardinals by 4. New England at Oakland Bleh. Pats by 10. Pittsburgh at Baltimore Should be a terrific, physical game. I'm starting to believe in the Ravens. I think they'll even up the season series here and win by 3. Denver at Carolina After dismantling Tampa on Monday, the Panthers will come out flat and drop this one to the Broncos. Denver by 9. N.Y. Giants at Dallas The Cowboys are a mess right now. The Giants take this one; Dallas continues their implosion and fails to make the playoffs. New York by 14. Cleveland at Philadelphia God, the fucking Browns AGAIN. Eagles by 20.

There was a guy about my age who worked at the liquor store across from my apartment in Athens. Just an insufferable cunt, to the extent that everyone I ever discussed the place with would remark on how awful the guy was. I'd always come away from the experience feeling insulted and would drink a little harder to wash the memory away. This isn't typical of liquor stores, though. Their registers are usually manned by weird old rednecks or even weirder old Asians.

Well, Norv Turner coached San Diego to the AFC Championship game last season. And Shawne Merriman or no, I don't think anyone expected the Chargers to even approach 10 losses this year. Thus, a disappointment. In 2007, Jacksonville had the feel of a team that wasn't as good as their record. With the exception of the running game, nothing about that team was exceptional, so it's hardly surprising that they've come back to Earth this year. Ditto Cleveland.

MVP: Unlike last year, there's no clear favorite. I'll say Eli Manning, although he could just as easily not finish in the top five in voting. OROTY: Matt Ryan. Pretty easy. DROTY: Jerod Mayo. COTY: Jeff Fisher or Tony Sporano. Biggest disappointment: San Diego. Legit Super Bowl contenders who gutted a close loss out in the AFC Championship game last year. Everyone expected them to be back this year and possibly to take the next step. When Brady went down and the Colts stumbled out of the gate, they seemed like the clear favorites to win it all in the AFC. And then...nothing. Can't even win the worst division in the conference, possibly the league. I shall try to turn around the Lions. With the 1st pick in the 2009 NFL Draft, they should not take an offensive skill position player. Rather, they should find a stud on either line--preferably the offensive line--and build around him. They got a bunch of picks from the Roy Williams trade and can take some skill position guys later. Totally overhaul the defense. There's maybe two guys on that side of the ball who are guaranteed roster spots next year. They're not going to attract any big-name free agents, but they can get some second-tier guys who can fill in in a rotation. Fire the head coach. Hire someone from New England to be the new GM. The officiating is about the same as usual. Personally, I'd eliminate a lot of the rules that discourage contact and favor the offense, but I think that ship has sailed at this point. It's a bra-and-panties league these days.

Yeah, picking up Pierre Thomas (for the second time) has proven to be one of the better moves I've made. I think I got him to replace an ineffective Cedric Benson, so I came out of that one looking pretty good.

Example 1: Some of the biggest assholes in Athens--and that's no small feat--worked at Vison Video, the local video place. These people made $6 an hour! Example 2: Incandenza used to work at Borders.

Given that he was at the very least indirectly responsible for that bouncer becoming paralyzed in his infamous "make it rain" moment in Vegas, I'd have to agree with that. If his career actually is over, I bet the guy joins Maurice Clarett and Ron Mexico in jail before 2009's out.

Hey, I was saving those Eric Clapton lyrics for the upcoming "Songs that make you think of Marney" thread.

With the news that Pacman Jones's neck injury might be career-ending, I'm starting to wonder why so much was ever made of someone who accomplished so little. The guy basically had one good year.

Book stores, record stores, comic books stores, video stores. All places that enable people making a whisper above minimum wage to carry around a real sense of superiority.

Put a jersey on! Put a jersey on!

Looks like I just did, tough guy.

That ESPN commercial with Shaq playing Scrabble is the bomb.com

Untrue, and if anything the older talent--with the exception Garcia, Dunn, and maybe Derrick Brooks--are liabilities on the field right now. The only guys over 30 who started for this team on a regular basis this year are Garcia, Ronde, Brooks, Hovan, and Dunn. Every other guy is in his 20s.

That's bulletin board material, Marvin. I'm gonna pull down my pants, rally the troops, and make you regret your guaranSheed moment.