Kinetic

Well, somebody said it.

You'll regret not going to Busch Gardens. Because, see, it's both a zoo and an amusement park. And they have one of those water rides where it takes forever and you don't think you're going to get wet but then it goes downhill really fast and you get totally soaked and it's awesome. And they've got awesome roller coasters. I never spent a day at Busch Gardens that wasn't the best of my life and that's the truth. Sea World is lame by comparison.

That's what she said.

Despite being about a mile from Sanford Stadium, I won't be able to watch the game, as I'll be too busy selling lottery tickets and tiny cigars to poor people. I can listen to it on the radio, but Larry "we just crushshshed their face" Munson, the longtime Georgia football radio broadcaster, retired this week. Guy had this very endearing sort of Droopy Dog quality to him and I enjoyed listening to his calls. He'll be replaced by the two totally nondescript guys that had previously just been doing road games. I think one of them is Eric Zeier.

Mississippi.

Alabama would have a legitimate argument for #1 if they beat Georgia. I think it's entirely possible that it'll happen, too. People around here are really nervous with how good Bama's looked and with the Dawgs coming off of a much longer road trip than they're accustomed to.

Let's cross that bridge when we come to it. Pretty entertaining game here, huh?

With all of the shit we've heard from The Worldwide Leader and others about USC since they debacled OSU and all of the shit we were certain to hear if they continued winning, this will be the most satisfying college football upset since the last time USC got knocked off by some shitty Pac-10 team.

But it didn't happen. Fucking USC. I'm gonna cry...this is awful.

USC scores and gets a stop. I have a bad feeling that they're going to come back and win this game.

Jeez man how self-conscious about your appearance are you??? And it made the problem worse? I hope you kept your receipt, bro.

Yeah, we've got a Hardee's here. It's in sort of a shitty part of town and has awful service, so I rarely go there. The nearest places to my house are a McDonald's and a Krystal. There's a Varsity up the street a bit, and a Checker's on my way home from work. I'm pretty indiscriminate when it comes to hamburgers; I'll eat just about anywhere, although I obviously have my preferences. Hot dogs are another matter altogether. I worked in a sort of "gourmet" hot dog place for a while and can no longer accept anything other than Vienna Beef dogs. Anyway, the best hamburger in Athens can be found at a place called City Bakery. Fucking awesome, even if it does cost $8. 5 Guys probably comes in second, although I find them to be really overpriced and dislike the fries. The Grill is another place: decent burgers, bottles of PBR, open 24 hours a day, and cute hipster waitresses. Unfortunately, like nearly every other corner of Athens, it's constantly full of hooting, drunken frat boys.

It's a little late to quibble with casting decisions, but I would have liked to have seen Dennis Quaid as Bush. He could have given the same performance he gave as Jerry Lee Lewis in Great Balls of Fire and it would have been both hilarious and appropriate to the tone of the film. Plus, he did a fairly passable W. in that crap American Dreams movie a few years ago, so you know he's got it in him.

20th in the league through three weeks, although that makes it look worse than it's actually been. Again, more troubling is that the pass defense ranks 27th.

Atari Bigby is also still out. The extent to which the Bucs can exploit Green Bay's depleted secondary with Brian Griese remains to be seen, although one way or the other I doubt we'll be seeing another 67 pass performance. The numbers suggest that Green Bay's weakness on defense is against the run (although playing Adrian Peterson and Marion Barber will do that to you) so I'm optimistic that Earnest Graham and Warrick Dunn will be able to bounce back from an abysmal showing against Chicago. I'm probably more worried about the other side of the ball. Our defense has been giving up a lot of big plays so far.

ATL @ CAR CLE @ CIN HOU @ JAC DEN @ KC SF @ NO ARI @ NYJ GB @ TB MIN @ TEN SD @ OAK BUF @ STL WAS @ DAL PHI @ CHI BAL @ PIT

Aaaaand Matt Millen's reign of terror in Detroit is finally over.

The Giants have suspended Plaxico Burress for next Sunday's game against Seattle.

A few injuries here and there, though... No, Green Bay is still a good team. There'll be spleens a-poppin' in the Tampa heat this weekend, but I think y'all are going to be all right after that.

YANKEES! DO YOU REMEMBER ALL THOSE YEARS THE YANKEES! MADE IT TO THE PLAYOFFS???? Well, they're done this year. But we wanna talk about them anyway. We kick it over to ESPN baseball analyst John Kruk. Kruskster?: DA YANKEE: WHAT UR DEY GUN DO?

Dallas is easily the best team in the league. That said, division games against good teams are always tough. The Skins could shock them here. I wouldn't put money on it or anything, but I guess it could happen.

Although I do sometimes wonder what it would be like to sail away from everything and never come back.

No, no. I'd be miserable one way or the other. The boyfriend-girlfriend stuff is as good with her as it would likely be with anyone else. My restlessness with the sex stuff is pretty natural. I doubt that's going anywhere. Isn't everyone who's been with one person for years and years and years a little curious as to what it would be like with someone else?

The real answer to this question is my bitch. Whether I like it or not, everything in my life comes back to her in one way or another. Except for the message board stuff, which is why I spend 19 hours a day online.

25% warning level. I am TSM's Bad Boy.