Kinetic

Guys, I think I might hate Aerosmith. What the hell did I get that tattoo for? I think their comeback has gone on too long. It sort of peaked with the Alicia Silverstone/Liv Tyler video in the early 90s and they've basically been an American Rolling Stones since then, except without the back catalog of excellent albums to even sort of justify their continued existence.

Garcia appears to be physically deteriorating before our very eyes. It's not just his play; the guy looks terrible, like Tom Hanks towards the end of Philadelphia. So, yeah, we'll take a first and a third for him. You guys like awful wide recievers with hands of stone up there, right? You can have Michael Clayton, too.

Per PFT, Gus Frerotte will start for the Vikings this Sunday. As long as he can refrain from concussing himself on any nearby brick or concrete walls, the guy is a clear upgrade over Jackson. Smart move.

1. I'd take the over. Carson Palmer has to be hating life right now. 2. Not enough for it to make a difference, as the strength of the Tennessee offense is clearly the run game. Look for something along the lines of 14-10 in Tennessee's advantage. 3. No. The Brady-less Pats will cruise to a third victory. 4. Doubtful, although the last time these teams played the score was like 38-35, so who knows? I'd anticipate something more along the lines of 13-10. Both Denver and New Orleans should put up at least 24. 5. The worst preseason picks in recent memory: The 2005 Vikings ruling the world and the 2006 Dolphins toppling the Patriots. This one pales in comparison. I'd actually say that the megahyped Browns will end up having a more disappointing season than the Vikings, who I suspect will come on once they figure out that Tarvaris Jackson isn't an NFL quarterback.

CHI@CAR TEN@CIN GB@DET BUF@JAX OAK@KC IND@MIN NYG@STL NO@WSH SF@SEA ATL@TB MIA@ARZ SD@DEN BAL@HOU NE@NYJ PIT@CLE PHI@DAL Much better slate of games this week.

This all begs the question of how you would go about non-violently punching someone in the face.

9-6. Overall: 19-12.

Clearly Brian Griese's return to Chicago is the big story this week.

They'd be top ten, but I don't know that there's any way to prove that sort of thing short of a full-blown census. You figure Yankees, Red Sox, Cubs, Braves, Lakers, maaaaybe the Knicks, and then the Steelers, Packers, and Cowboys. Are we counting college teams? Because then you throw in (ugh) Notre Dame in football and I guess UNC and Duke in basketball. I'm sure that I'm forgetting someone. Maybe the Pats and Raiders, too, because the country is full of frontrunners and Mexicans.

Who is PacmanJones Allstars in the TSM league? You should hang your head in shame. I'm crushing you on my way to a 2-0 start. That Jay Cutler pick is starting to look pretty good.

A-Rodge looking awesome against the Football Championship Subdivision squad from Detroit. Is it possible that after all the drama in Green Bay this offseason that the Favre trade ends up being the best thing for everyone involved?

Adrian Peterson with 70+ yards rushing in the first quarter against Indy. Colts fans can at least take solace in the fact that the last time the team's run defense looked this bad, they won the Super Bowl.

Fuck yeah. Do the cheerleaders have as many wardrobe options as the team?

Our little pocket of Raider Nation here should be pleased (I guess) to know that Lane Kiffin is reportedly coaching for his job this weekend. Another performance like Monday and he'll be canned early next week. And then Al Davis will hire some other guy out of left field and the team will continue to suck and the same thing will happen again next year.

I ended up watching a lot of football today and would opine that the USC cheerleaders are easily the hottest I saw. The least attractive: Purdue. Awful, awful game. Ohio State should be able to win the Big Ten, but it's hard to imagine them being allowed back in the title game after being so thoroughly embarrassed on nation television like this. Every other BCS conference team would have to lose two games.

CHI@CAR TEN@CIN GB@DET BUF@JAX OAK@KC IND@MIN NYG@STL NO@WSH SF@SEA ATL@TB MIA@ARZ SD@DEN BAL@HOU NE@NYJ PIT@CLE PHI@DAL

Why does everyone pronounce Knowshon Moreno's last name "Marino"? It's Mor-A-no. Mor-A-no.

I had a good time last night, but I feel awful today. Oh, well. A hangover is as good an excuse as any to sit on my ass and watch college football all day.

Watching the Georgia-South Carolina game. The only thing worse than South Carolina's offense is the officiating in this game. Woof.

Ugh.

I love Parklife, but it's kinda poorly sequenced, ya know? The four best songs are all put right up front and after the title track it just sort of meanders around though weird one-off genre experiments and pointless interludes with actual good songs scattered about seemingly at random. Yeah, I prefer The Great Escape for being a significantly more cohesive album, although the highs on Parklife are admittedly higher. Blur unfortunately never had a really great album.

Rumor has it that the Bucs are shopping Jeff Garcia. "Jeff Garcia" and "shopping" in the same sentence makes me want to cook up a bad joke, but I'll resist the urge. What the hell is it with Gruden and quarterbacks? Sheesh.

name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src=" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>&"> name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src=" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350" /> Happy Patriot Day, everybody.

Nigga fagot what?

All signs point to Griese getting the start for the Bucs this Sunday. Ugh.