Kinetic

Shitty niggercunt. Shitty McNiggercunt?

Haha.

I woke up with the urge to listen to Elliot Smith. I have no idea why. Am I depressed? Did I wake up and I'm 19 again? I'd forgotten how much I like these albums, though.

The "black QB couldn't succeed in Tennessee cuz they racist" thing would be a little silly considering that the two best QBs in franchise history were both black. I haven't heard anything implying that. Someone get Stephen A. on the Budweiser Hot Seat ASAP.

Now picture Matthew McConaughey as portrayed by a giant slab of beef.

Chris, rumor has it that you're going to be signing with the Titans. Allow me to be the first to say that I don't like you in that shade of blue and I think you should reconsider.

"Semi-Charmed Life" as the first encore, please.

You don't remember Amnesia Glasscock or Penis Skullduggery?

Yeah, I brought this up elsewhere. Gruden has at least acknowledged that the playcalling didn't make a lot of sense, so there's hope for improvement. The strength of our offense is clearly the running game. Our backs are solid and our o-line run blocks much better than they pass protect. If we're going to compete, Gruden is going to have to swallow a lot of that rocket science playbook and just run the fucking ball.

If anything, Tampa's defense should be better than it was last year. We didn't lose anyone of note, Gaines Adams has had a whole year to improve, we added a first-round CB in Aqib Talib, etc. And despite the general perception that we're an older team, there are only 3 starters on our defense over 30. The defense really didn't play that bad against New Orleans, they just very uncharacteristically gave up big plays.

1. It's a total toss-up. So when in doubt, defer to the home team. Panthers win. 2. Not well, hopefully. There is no way that adding Michael Turner and a rookie QB has suddenly turned this team into the offensive juggernaut we saw against Detroit. The Bucs D will rebound from a mediocre performance against the Saints and hold the Falcons to 13 or less. 3. Yes. I think New England can be competitive with a pared down, ball control offense. I don't think the Jets want to get into a shootout either, so this should be a tight, low-scoring game. 4. Yes, but they would never admit it. 5. No, they'll lose and people will be tripping over one another trying to get off of the Cleveland Browns bandwagon. I do hope that they at least look more interested than they did against Dallas.

10-6. Pretty good for the predictably unpredictable first week of the season.

Atta boy, Roy! I have emerged from my first ever fantasy football matchup victorious. I actually enjoyed this a lot more than I thought I would.

What difference does it make? The team won't get any better until Al Davis dies.

I would imagine that Cassel is the starter and whatever happens from there with Simms/Rattay/Culpepper/whoever depends on his performance.

What sounds like a pretty bad cover of Morrissey's "Every Day is Like Sunday" being used in NFL.com commercials.

I'm already getting a 2006 Dolphins/2007 Saints vibe from the Browns. Is there any good explanation for why this team is scheduled to play FIVE primetime games this year?

Having not seen anything of the Bucs game other than the last two minutes, I'm a little confused by the stat line. Garcia threw 41 passes in a close game? It's not like we were playing from behind or anything. And Earnest Graham averaged 9 yards a carry, yet he only ran the ball ten times. Huh? Still, you can't be too discouraged about being in position to win a game when you give up almost 350 yards through the air on the road to a good team. I'm mildly worried about Atlanta after today.

Man, terrible call. The receiver pretty clearly never had possession of the ball. This has been, uh...a little nerve-wracking. I don't know what this game would look like if Miami had a more experienced QB.

How about we use it to house TSM's support group for recovering alcoholics?

Joey Galloway isn't on my fantasy team, though. I do have Roy Williams, however, so perhaps "atta boy, Roy" could suffice.

Yeah, this is my first attempt at this, also. I'm up against sideburnious in week one. I wish that I could say with any sort of confidence that I'm going to crush him and make orphans of his children, but I'm still sort of feeling my way through this fantasy football process.

My fantasy draft was bungled horribly, but I've since gone to great lengths to craft the sort of winning roster that's led me to dozens of Super Bowl wins and countless undefeated seasons in Madden. Here's to hoping for a breakout season for Jay Cutler.

So it looks like most of the country is getting the Jets-Dolphins game on CBS this week. Once the novelty of Brett Favre throwing meaningful passes in a Jets uni wears off, that game is going to suck. I don't have high hopes for Dallas-Cleveland, either. And then Indy-Chicago for the nightcap. The first Sunday might be a little rough this year.

The use of the Home Improvement theme song in the big election thread had me giggling all night.