Kinetic

I just got a job in a convenience store the other day. I'm a little concerned about getting shot over $80 and some Black & Milds, but whatever. A man has to make a living somehow.

A pack of First Class will run you about $2.35 'round these parts. These are generics, but are indistinguishable from Basics, which had been my brand for years prior to my descent into poverty.

After two or three of the most hellish weeks of my life, during which I tore my apartment apart several times looking for anything even remotely pornographic, I now have internet access again. What did I miss?

So tonight's game went more or less according to script. San Antonio still has to win Game 4 to make a series of this.

He does in the Director's Cut Special Edition Extra Slice version of American Pie 2. Twice the eyebrows, twice the 3 Doors Down, and twice the pie fucking, now for only $6.99 at Wal-Mart. As for #3:

Having never eaten this burger, I have to admit to being somewhat skeptical. Burger King doesn't have dehyrdrated onions, do they? Along with the sauce, those are really the most integral part of the Big Mac experience.

Oh, I refuse to buy name brand soda at the supermarket. I see no sense in paying a dollar more for a product that's only marginally better. A 2 liter bottle of Big K is, like, 45 cents at Kroger and it gets the job done just fine. I've lamentably been unable to find a passable knockoff of my favorite soda, North Carolina's legendary Cheerwine.

According to its Wikipedia entry, Pibb Xtra contains cinnamon and cherry flavors not found in Mr. Pibb. It also mentions that Pibb Xtra is virtually unheard of in the Northeast. How could this be?

The Big N Tasty is suspiciously similar to the Whopper, although not as good. I do like the Big N Tasty quite a bit and would eat it regularly when I worked at McDonald's, but it isn't half the sandwich that its predecessor, the Big Xtra, was. They discontinued the Big Xtra shortly after I began my stint there. I was born too late. Is there any sort of difference between Mr. Pibb and Pibb Xtra, or was that just a cosmetic change?

Yeesh. Terrible game for the Spurs tonight. They obviously can't win the series without getting something from Ginobili, and I'm not sure that he's capable of stepping up right now.

Joey Galloway, like each of us, is marching inexorably towards death, and his production is going to have to drop off at some point. We'd be lucky to get two more solid years out of him, and I don't think his replacement is on the roster. We actually had Ike Hilliard returning punts last year. And as was the case when we had 47-year-old Tim Brown returning punts a few years ago, there was a fair catch called for every single time. I say cut him. Stovall has been a non-person since we drafted him. Like Michael Clayton, he's good at all of the little things--blocking, kick return coverage, etc.--but can't seem to catch any balls.

Seriously, man. I'm getting killed on my YouTube comments page.

Agreed. I think Archuleta would have benefitted immensely by winning, whereas I don't think Cook really needed to. Having his name attached to that insipid songwriting-contest single will only serve to harm his (ahem) rock cred.

Not to make excuses (although that's exactly what I'm going to do), but you could tell that the Spurs were worn out by the 4th quarter. Bear in mind that this team had to win a game 7 in New Orleans, then got stuck on the runway for 11 hours prior to flying to L.A. No less an authority than Skip Bayless just said that his sources in San Antonio admitted that the Spurs were more or less willing to concede game 1 in this series, and were actually surprised to be up by so much in the 3rd. I don't know. There's a lot from the first game that bodes well for each team, so it seems like this is going to be a really tight series all the way through. I'm sticking with my prediction of San Antonio in seven.

George Michael.

Happy 27th birthday, Retired Gimmick Poster!

It's still fairly reasonable down here. I generally pay somewhere between $2.75-$3.50 for a pack. It was outrageous in Washington. I bummed a ton of cigarettes off of my sister because I couldn't stomach spending $7 on a pack of Basics.

I'm assuming that the producers foist those awful inspirational songs on the last two contestants because they own the rights, and thus make more money when it's released as a single.

I mentioned one of my moments of e-triumph to a real-life friend once. I think it was something really internet-specific and nerdy, like the Avril board invasion or something. She didn't seem impressed.

Furthermore, he's not even dead yet. I'm aware that the prognosis isn't good, but these news outlets should save the eulogizing for when the guy actually dies.

Television Personalities- And Don't the Kids Just Love It I'm enjoying this quite a bit.

They totally made American Pie 2, though. Their hit single "Be Like That" working in concert with Jason Biggs fucking a pie and Eugene Levy arching his gigantic eyebrows in horror made for a potent brew. One of my most unforgettable moments at the theater in 2001, without a doubt.

In fairness to the judges, Archuleta was clearly better tonight, with the exception of the reprise of his dreadful version of "Imagine."

"sludgy" "Bono-esque" "plaintive" "Logginstacular"

I don't actually wish harm on the guy. "I hope they break his fucking fingers" just has a nicer ring to it than, say, "I hope they can contain him defensively."