Kinetic

They have San Francisco's first round pick next year. That's almost certainly a top ten pick...I don't know about first overall.

Who wrote my entry? That is piss poor. I think I've earned something a little more grand, wouldn't you say? Here's what I'd write if I cared enough to do so, which I obviously don't because I'm totally above all of this shit and am about five minutes away from getting off of the computer to do something completely awesome and mindblowing: "Kinetic was a key contributor to the board during the so-called Golden Age of TSM, as well as being perhaps the most acclaimed writer for the short-lived and largely worthless main page. He was the driving creative force behind many of the early TSM's greatest threads and was the catalyst for the board's shift from primarily wrestling-based discussion to an anything-goes hodgepodge of witless quips and go-nowhere gimmick posters. He arguably peaked in 2003, when, while on a three day cough medicine binge, he created--and killed off--the character of Metal Ed, TSM's greatest gimmick poster. Kinetic's long hiatus from message boarding recently ended when his job as a staff writer on the hit FOX sitcom Til Death was interrupted due to the WGA strike."

Yeesh. Good god. They can't hammer out another six weeks of Who Wants to Marry a Midget? or Who's Your Daddy? These new reality shows look terrible!

No blackout in Atlanta this week, hopefully. This is one of the rare opportunities I have to watch the Bucs play without having to leave the house.

What was that all about?

You're the pedialy...oh, wait, is that some kind of medication? I have packets of vitamin c drink mix. I think I'm too hungover to walk to the store for cigarettes. Anyone here live in Athens, GA and want to make a quick 75 cents?

alcohol.......

My girlfriend has been watching The L Word a lot recently. I'm not afraid of her going, y'know, lesbo on me or anything, but have you heard the theme song for this show? It's awful.

I'm starting to feel a little bad for Marvin. Yeah, the guy had a bad night on Monday, but his team was getting smeared on national television. I typically find him to be a pretty inoffensive, albeit completely hairless, guy.

I'm not feeling this Gus gimmick. You have to go way, way over the top, Gus.

0-16 is definitely more probable. It's quite a bit more difficult to be consistently excellent than it is to be consistently awful.

I am completely unapologetic. Sure, I had a few Stone Temple Pilots albums. Yeah, I saw Bush and Veruca Salt in concert. But you know what? Fuck you.

I saw Stone Temple Pilots in concert years ago. Someone decked Weiland with a shoe and he threatened to stop the show. Earlier, the guy from Local H broke a string during their big hit song. Entertainment! Yeah, and "Trippin' on a Hole in a Paper Heart" has to be their best song.

Not just that, but let's go ahead and ban the asterisk itself. Sadly, this would make rating pro wrestling matches all but impossible.

You could be right, but let's define our terms here. Let's start with "great" and then move to "rock and roll" and "song."

As far as songs featured in truck commercials go, that's gotta be top 50 this decade.

"Grand Canyon" and "The Death of Ferdinand de Saussure" are also very good. And "Washington, D.C." works as an alternate opener. "Absolutely Cuckoo" is probably the perfect opener, but would be too obvious, see.

I'm sort of replaying these songs in my head and I still think my arrangement is untouchable. This was the product of having a hell of a lot of free time in early 2003.

I'm a Spurs fan, too! Tell me how forgettable Florida's three recent National Championships were and it's a clean sweep.

They still have racks and racks of the championship teeshirts down here. Only 3.99. Plus half off. That's hilarious. With S+H, I think I paid about $30 a piece for the conference championship and Super Bowl t-shirts. And I would never, ever wear them in public.

No one else here pines for the heady days of early 2003 and the Gruden Bowl? Are we all watching the same sport, for Christ's sake?

It was made perhaps somewhat less memorable because they bitchslapped the three teams they played in the postseason that year. If you think that just the idea of any team that's not from a major market winning a Super Bowl is boring or forgettable, then I don't know what to tell you, other than that you're a piece of shit fuckwad and I hate you.

Hey! The Bucs won the Super Bowl that year. That was easily the most memorable playoff year this decade because I have T-shirts to remind me that it happened.

Which one of you fucking miserable cockgobbling Oregon cuntlaps did this? This was my idea, guys!

King of the Hill is almost unwatchable now. The first two seasons stand up in syndication, though. I remember Family Dog being absurdly hyped and then just disappearing.