Kinetic

Not knowing anything about current Top 40 makes me feel out of touch. I remember seeing a commercial for a NOW! That's What I Call Music a few years ago and not being familiar with any of the songs. I felt like an old person who's willfully ignorant of anything current based on the assumption that it'll be bad. I had to get back into the now.

Just listened to Blueberry Boat for the first time. This shit is terrible.

Really, game shows? I had no idea. So there's Barbra Streisand, Cher, Dolly Parton, Judy Garland, colored hankies, tapping your foot in a bathroom stall, and now game shows. Everything that I enjoy is gay.

Quinn Gray will get the start for Jacksonville against the Bucs. Judging by what I saw on Monday night, this is good news. And we get another quarterback black hole the next week in Arizona, so we could easily be riding a two-game win streak into the bye. Garcia still hasn't thrown an interception.

Listen to any Top 40 station once a month for 30 minutes and you'll be more or less completely caught up with what's hot at the moment. "Top 40" is misleading, obviously. There's typically no more than twenty current songs in rotation. Here's a helpful hint for those trying to familiarize themselves with the current Top 40 landscape: The difference between T-Pain and Akon is that T-Pain sounds like a robot.

Ack, bastard...I've been rooked!

According to Wikipedia, Oink is the sound that a pig makes.

I don't even dislike the Pats; obviously, they're playing the best football in the NFL right now and would likely squash all but maybe three or four teams. But Kornheiser was engaged in a discussion with himself about how incredibly awesome Tom Brady is and how totally jealous Peyton Manning must be for pretty much the entire first half, and then again in the fourth quarter.

I actually thought Rocktober was pretty clever.

Jesus, Kornhole was hard to listen to tonight. The Patriots are turning into the Poochie of the NFL.

"Nas' controversially-titled new album, The N-Word."

edit This was originally a request for clarification from Ripper, but I got what he was saying after a few reads. Allow me to fill the post out by saying that I really like Devin Hester's car.

Teams could avoid a lot of those problems by only signing the black guys who aren't criminals. It worked for the Colts.

The possiblity that you might, at some point, fuck her. Obviously.

I still have the tape of GWAR on Jerry Springer around here somewhere. That was a life-affirming moment for me at 14.

That Spacehog album remains a fixture at used CD stores from coast to coast. Along with The Breeders' Last Splash, the first Hootie and the Blowfish album, Tori Amos's Little Earthquakes, and The Cardigans' First Band on the Moon. I have, at one point or another, owned all of these except for the Hootie.

They (or someone similar) had another terrible song, that "if everyone cares and nobody lies" thing.

I really disliked that Supertramp "sampling" girlfriend song. Gym Class Heroes? Something like that. I'll second Soulja Boy, "Party Like a Rock Star" and "Big Girls Don't Cry." This year's American Idol song..."This Is My Now." I don't know that I heard it on the radio at any point, but if I had...that would be up there. "Umbrella" is a fine song. "Beautiful Girls" was better when it was "Stand By Me" but isn't really grating enough to warrant worst song consideration. That Gwen Stefani song with Akon seems to be a fixture at sporting events, for whatever reason. I think it's catchy.

Jesus, that's terrible. Unbelievably, the Dolphins might have been better off had Saban not left. And the Bucs pick up Michael Bennett from Kansas City. Ask me my opinion on this in about eleven weeks.

Rob Johnson, anyone?

1920's Reporter Guy replaces Keith Olbermann on the NBC pregame show next year. Book it. And I guess no one watched the MNF game tonight.

This makes two really bad losses for them in a row. Unfortunately, it looks like they might end up winning their division by default. The NFC still isn't very good.

The NFC West is making the NFC South look respectable.

Young had two turnovers, but his biggest mistake of the day was getting injured. Ronde Barber lost THREE potential turnovers in the game, too. Sadly, the running back situation doesn't seem to be going anywhere. Graham had less than 30 yards rushing. Dallas makes this interesting before the half.

Testaverde does, in fact, get the start for Carolina. Can the grizzled 27-year veteran turn back the clock?