Kinetic

There's another "blackout" in Athens today, as both Matt Stafford and Knowshon Moreno announced that they'll be entering the NFL draft. Stafford is almost certainly a top 5 pick, and could well be the top overall pick. I'd say, based on having watched a fair amount of Bulldogs football during my time in Georgia, that Stafford isn't nearly the QB Matt Ryan is, but he wouldn't be a bad pick at all for Detroit. I've seen some early mock drafts that have Moreno going to Tampa, but I don't think there's a chance that the guy will still be around when the Bucs pick. His stock should skyrocket after the combine, and he could potentially prove to be the best overall player in the draft.

For someone on the outside looking in, it's a little puzzling how bland Michael Cole has kept his job for so long while similarly uninteresting commentators like Kevin Kelly have fallen by the wayside. I guess Vince McMahon sees Cole as a slightly updated version of his own commentating character, and somehow does not regard that as a bad thing. But, man, Michael Cole is awful. I do like it when he refers to Kofi Kingston as "the affable Jamaican," though.

I'm with you. I do recall there also being the sound of marching feet, and then "Nation of Domination," but none of this rap lyric stuff is ringing a bell. Was this in roughly the same period as Gang Warz, where the Nation splintered off into three warring factions? Was The Rock in the Nation at the time? What was Kurrgan's role in all of this?

Hey! I've been feeling a lot better recently.

Here you go.

A little squinty for my taste.

It's been about two weeks for me. Last night, I constructed an elaborate fantasy in my head that I used as an aide while I pleasured myself before falling asleep. In it, I was sharing some drinks with this sexy Bulgarian co-worker I used to have. We were at her house; her husband was away on a business trip or something. Anyway, at some point in the middle of our adulterous tryst--you know that point in the foreplay where it's perfectly reasonable to excuse yourself to go use the bathroom or brush your teeth or whatever--she goes to make some more drinks. Why would I imagine this? I like to watch naked girls walking around, that's why. Anyway, she hands me the drink and with my free hand I actually, in real life, reach to grab it. And at that point I was 100% legitimately disappointed that there was, in fact, no drink to grab. Then I really wanted the drink that I had imagined, even more than I wanted the sex that I had imagined. It was confusing.

This is true, although Dennis Dixon's worth as a pro is still unknown at this time. When he was at Oregon, he certainly struck me as the type of QB who wouldn't be able to make it in the NFL. Also, it looks like the Bears organization is going to be getting a much-needed injection of class, as Rod Marinelli has been offered a job coaching the defensive line.

He looked good in limited action for Pittsburgh this year. With as many hits as Roethlisberger takes, the Steelers should probably do whatever possible to keep him as a backup. That's probably what he's best suited for.

Some brilliant insight there. You're telling me the Cardinals have a 50/50 chance of winning? Stop everything. Somebody get this guy into the poster tournament now.

Alex Smith's career in San Francisco is over. He's likely to soon become to the Tampa Bay Bucs what David Carr was to the Carolina Panthers. Whether the Niners go with Hill or seek another guy in free agency/the draft remains to be seen.

That so many bands use it as an excuse to reunite is probably proof enough that they care about being inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, but I still can't imagine why. Rock and Roll even having a hall of fame is absurd, and the Stooges or the Sex Pistols or people like that being inducted into it is even more absurd.

I've never heard it, thankfully. That Stooges reunion, like the Dolls reunion (thanks, Morrissey) of roughly the same time period, just seemed like a bad idea from the start. These guys are too old to be fucked up consistently, and that was a central part of their mythology and charm. Plus, in the case of the Dolls reunion, Johnny Thunders is dead. And now Ron Asheton is dead, too. RIP.

There are trade restrictions with tagged players. Howev-uh, I can't imagine anyone giving New England two first-rounders (gonna go ahead and take KOAB's word on this one, as I don't know the answer myself) for Cassel; if they ultimately did decide to trade him because Brady's ACL has been successfully ghostbusted, they'd likely remove the tag from Matty Lite. Again, the whole thing with franchising this guy is just to protect their asses in the event that Brady isn't ready to go next year.

As is almost invariably the case this decade, you can blame Bill Belichick and the Patriots for that one. When coaches see that a group of players who have won multiple SB titles can be motivated to believe that don't nobody believe in them but them, they figure that tactic can be used to motivate anyone. If Florida wins, Tebow will claim that nobody believed in him and he was all but ignored by the national media.

Y'know, I really did feel bad about that. It was right after a football game gone horribly wrong, and I was all like "give me something to break" and lashed out at the first person to raise my ire. I regretted it, though, because it's not in my nature to be mean to people. I'm a gentle giant.

Appreciate the nod, but I must have been burrito-smoking PCP if I ever posted in the "Computer Games" folder.

Venkman: A favorite of mine, and one of the most beautiful creatures I have ever laid eyes upon. When I was making my "Men of TSM" video, I stared at his photograph for inspiration. Mmmhmm. Bigolshitty: A tough one already! I like both of these guys just fine, but smitty was the voice of reason the Current Events folder so desperately needed during the run-up to the election. Solid contributor elsewhere, too. And he looks like Moby! What a man. What a mighty good man. Incandenza: Harley is pretty good and she(??) brings the pain in the sports folder, but ain't no way I can vote against my boy Inc in the first round. He was an infrequent contributor in 2008, but he's still one of the best. EHME: Marney's one of my Posters to Watch in '09, but EHME rocked my body like a cyclone in '08. It's sheer force of will with this guy. He's not the funniest or the smartest or the blackest, but he just posts so fucking much that it's impossible to ignore him. Byron: Byron, you're a genius enough to be a fool. A fool to gamble everything and never know the rules. Some of us can only live in songs of love and trouble. Some of us can only live in bubbles. Cheech: Cheech is a really cool guy. Might want to put the Red Sox avatar in mothballs for a while, but the "Hot Pants" custom member title is a nice homage to the legendary "nicknames" thread. Slayer: A really funny guy, although he could be accused of being the biggest fucking joykill on the board. But when he's on, brother. Whoo. That guy can go. Ortonsault: I don't really know anything about either of these guys. Kinetic: An affable Jamaican. Snuffbox: ???? Matt Young: Spiff is one of those great underrated posters, but Matt Young was just involved in too many great TSMoments in 2008 for me to slight him here. "Matt Young Attacked by Coyote." "Matt Young's Smug Facial Expression." The time when he went crazy and started going on and on about how gay he is. Classic stuff. CanadianChris: Yep. Mellow: Came on like rolling thunder in 2008. So many avatars, so many memories. Bored: Another funny guy. A sports folder exclusive, as far as I know. Edwin: Edwin was responsible for some of my favorite posts this year. Also, we've both shopped at the same Target. Fazzle: I guess. KOAB: Is occasionally capable of saying something off the wall enough to make me lol. His diss of alkeiper is the stuff of legend. A real asset at the bottom of the board. Smartly Pretty: You are the sunshine of my life. Bob Barron: His seemingly endless supply of pictures of himself led to some classic TSMoments in 2008. No one else inspired two videos. Mattdotcom: *gasp* Kamala: A nice guy and the straw that stirs the drink in General Wrestling. I hope he does well in this tournament, I really do. pbone: Parker is another guy who really made a name for himself this year. The future governor of Hawaii??? Alkeiper: I don't share his passions for baseball or porn, but Al is all right in my book. Agent: Might have been my favorite poster last year. He's sweating like a pig and chewing his nails down to the cuticle right now, the poor guy. Kreese: What kind of bullshit is this seeding? Both of these guys are great, but SJK was around more. Cyber Mark: I like him plenty. And he's but a wee lad, too. The sky's the limit for this promising youngster. Treble: I wasn't as nuts about the "tie post" as everyone else, but treble is one of the all-time greats. Black Lushus: Yeah. Milky: Another strong year for Nighthawk. And he stopped drinking and found love. What an inspiration. 909: He was pissed when I didn't vote for him last year. I shan't be making that mistake again. VX: Now a top-tier poster. Godthedog: Not around often, but brings the heartache every time he posts. He got married this year! Awww.

Nice game there. It's easy to say in retrospect, but Ohio State might have been better off not scoring that TD so early. A field goal would have given them the lead, and it was sort of inevitable that McCoy was going to lead Texas on a game-winning drive if he got the ball back with time. Oh, well.

I did some Hulk Hogan's Celebrity Championship Wrestling fantasy booking somewhere on this board a few weeks ago. The big program was "Diamond" Dallas Page v. Dustin Diamond fighting to determine who the true "diamond in the rough" in the wrestling industry was. Also, foleyfan's sig reminds me that WWE really needs to turn Kofi Kingston heel so that Michael Cole can ceaselessly refer to him as "the Caribbean Jerk."

Small world. I lived maybe a quarter-mile away from that Target for a few years in the late 90s. I once bought a six-pack of the short-lived but awesomely delicious Virgin Cola there. Good memory.

Man, every album I had filed under 'A' is gone. Everything from Abba to Arcade Fire to America the Beautiful: America's Greatest Hits. I swear to God, I will never use snail mail again. How does no one notice 60+ CDs being scattered across the mail processing area? Fucking fuck me. I'm going to have to burn new copies of all of these things now.

Ya know, I lost both of my Fountains of Wayne CDs in the post office disaster I described further down the board. While I never really liked Utopia Parkway, their debut was the soundtrack to various portions of my 1997. I was fifteen. It was a very good year. Sad to lose that one. I don't really "get" Animal Collective. I sort of enjoyed some parts of their last album (can't remember what it's called, and everything in my record collection beginning with the letter 'A' is long gone, goddamn you USPS!!!) but their hype and following seems to be pretty disproportionate to the quality of their music. That Panda Bear thing that Pitchfork had as their #1 album in '07 was, I thought, a fucking waste of time.

In placing the franchise tag on Cassel, the Patriots are obviously just trying to hedge their bets should Brady not be ready to go when the 2009 season begins. I'm sure that their rationale is that they can just trade him if need be. But, really, how much would you give up for Cassel if you're a GM? He has a fairly decent one-season resume, but not a lot of playing experience besides. He'd almost certainly go into a situation where the receiving talent wouldn't be comparable to Randy Moss and Wes Welker. I'd say nothing more than a 3rd round pick, because I really don't think the guy's that good.

KOAB Venkman Cheech Dandy Kamala Mellowjoyful Slayer Cyber Mark Byron I didn't nominate any secret board guys, as I figured they'd be well-represented.