Nighthawk

I've found Tina's frozen burritos at 10 for $3.00. 30 cents... man, that's cheap. One time when I was volunteering to help the homeless I discovered that, in this state at least, if you go into a restaurant and tell them you're starving, they are legally obligated to give you food, but beyond that, the homeless could survive on basically nothing. I begged money one day just for yuks and made almost $30. Presuming addiction, I could buy booze and crack and still have enough left over for ten burritos, which most convenience stores in the ghetto will heat up for you. Fucking moochers; the homeless.

I've sold fake weed at school. Then got told the next day about how high they got.

I also forgot to mention that a guy I know has a Freddie Mercury tattoo on his calf. He meant it in some sort of irony, but it actually just looks gay gay, not funny gay. Which would be fine if he were gay, but he's not.

For some reason I always called him Scott. I don't know what Scott has to do with Kevin...

Try electric scissors. They exist. David Cross has a bit about seeing an ad for them during the Simple Life. "Oh yeah, I would love to go to the Evanescence concert with you! Wait, it's tonight? Oh no, man, I gotta cut so much shit out of the paper. Maybe in a perfect world when someone invents 'electric scissors'!"

But Scarface died.

Black Friday is self-fulfilling. The day after Thanksgiving has traditionally been the busiest shopping day of the year; people like to get it out of the way and focus on other holiday concerns. Knowing this, the merchants play into it and throw all these crazy sales out to entice the already busy shoppers, thus making it an even busier shopping day, which can then be used to justify even more sales. It is truly out of hand. I bought a Gamecube once and didn't have to show up more than an hour before the store opened (I stayed up all night normally at the time, so it was no big deal). Now... if you don't camp out, you're outta luck, although there are some exceptions.

Icon is a better word than genius.

Any cover of "My Generation" sucks... in fact the original sucks. Maybe Danny Tanner's version was ok. Anyway, I dunno man, a lot of the things you hold the album at fault for are what I like about it. People just seem to hear it at the right time. I myself, heard it very early in my musical explorations. It was significant for its timing and collaborators as well. There are plenty who share your opinion, too. Still, I like Easter best, for better or worse.

Or the middle of the ghetto.

In the earlier post you said it was literally bile. So it was actually secreted by the liver to aid in digestion? But anyway, the album didn't hold up as well after a few listens. It's good, still, but not that good. It is kinda droney, yeah. I don't blame that on her at all, though. Paris Hilton's album was great, and she had no business making one at all. They can prop anybody up there and make them sound good. So you know, it's a step back.

It's not that hard to do, if you really want to... except for you, because you live in Arizona.

I agree with that. Such a classic story, you'd think it couldn't even happen in real life. Which makes me wonder, too, what the best documentary I've seen this year was. There were some god ones, Kong and one about Joe Strummer in particular, but really the answer is obvious: Zoo. Fuckin' Zoo. Now that's a doc.

Nice, I got this one. It's so vague I'm just going to tell people it's mine. And with middle initial, I was president of Dartmouth.

Oh, they were there... collecting money.

Why does anyone do anything? Xmas is in full swing. I saw some window displays the other day using live puppies and kittens. Seems to me they'd shit everywhere, but there was none, so the store must have been well on top of it.

Halloween was last month.

You fags, it was my birthday yesterday and I didn't get a thread. Best role he ever played, though, was Cassius Clay (his momma called him Clay. I'ma call him Clay.)

Mine's pretty good. My dad is basically the polar opposite of me (well, he used to be like me, but then got really religious), but it doesn't hurt our relationship at all. We can have some stellar philosophical arguments and keep it friendly, cause we know in the end we'll still be father and son. I can say literally anything to my mom, and she'll just take me for who I am and be ok with it. That wasn't so good when I was a psychotic teenager, but as an adult it makes for a good relationship. My brother sucks in many ways, but he's cool. We could have been friends even if we weren't related, although in that case I probably couldn't mock him as much as I do. The rest of my mom's side of the family thinks I'm crazy, and I think they're insane, but we get along well. I was a total black sheep when I was younger, but by just sticking to my guns and still managing to work out an ok life for myself, the same qualities they used to hate have become strangely endearing. My dad's side is all dead. He's remarried, though, and the family he's married into are all pretty good too. One of my stepsisters was just an absolute bitch when she was younger, but now that she's grown up I like her quite a lot. That's actually a running theme: hate someone when they're young, like them when they're older. Happened with my grandfather too. In his thirties he was run out of town for charging the state for sex parties, answered the door nude and other weird fetish shit. Now he's just a normal old guy who likes football and cigars. And of course I fucked my cousin, so that was a great relationship. She's dead too, though. Maybe that's why my family and I get along... everyone who wasn't cool has died.

It was my birthday yesterday, so naturally I was hung over again today. I got some new advice: Alka Seltzer. That really worked well. I can't believe I never thought of it before, they sell it right next to the register in the liquor store and all. It made me feel completely fine in like ten minutes. Of course, it was my birthday, so I was drinking quality booze and not the rotgut swill I usually drink, so that might have had something to do with it. Also, it was halfway legit sick, too. My dad had taken me to the Cheesecake Factory the night before, so that night I ate a bunch of roast chicken and some cheesecake from the day before. Bad combo. Bad, bad combo.

Yesterday when I was a little tipsy I was telling people that I was going to be a Nazi from now on. Apparently I made some really good points, but I don't really remember. I mean, I didn't black out or anything, but I can't really track the line of what I was saying. Pretty sure I brought up the Irish a lot.

This has reminded me of the story about the guy fucking the dead dog in the street in front of the elementary school. Now that's funny.

Really? Cause I've seen people eat it by itself. I guess that's like drinking water, but I'm sorry, food should be enjoyed. I tried General Tsao tofu, it was ok.

I was just about to mention them too. Ugh, that is the sound of someone going insane. To each their own and all, but I hate those. I really have a love hate thing with Home Alone in general, because I love the wacky shenanigans at the end, and Harry and Marv are pretty cool, but the rest of the movies do nothing for me. Still, I can likely quote a good 90% of Home Alone 2. My favorite Xmas movie is of course Christmas Vacation, but that's for another thread.

Figure Four, dudes. Nothing tops it.