Nighthawk

I never really understood how going to prison makes you prefer boys if you weren't gay before you went. I mean, I know it does genuinely happen, but I don't really understand why. Maybe the relationship of having someone be your bitch is appealing, but it's not always like that. A lot of guys treat their punks really well.

Speaking of stuff McDonalds doesn't serve all the time, I honestly don't think I've ever had a McRib. I likely never will, either, which is just as well. What if I really liked it? Then I'd just get pissed off when they took it away. Re: breakfast all day, I'm a little shocked it's not being done already. Jack in the Box did really well with it. Believe me, there's nothing like hash browns at three in the morning (many have 24 hour drive thrus as well). The other day I had an ice cream float with orange soda there. I'm really rather fond of the place. You know, I was thinking of getting a night job, both for supplemental income and because of my insomnia. I wonder if I could get on the overnight crew at Jack in the Box...

I considered being a cop once, but my record makes them automatically disqualify me. And I would have been a blatantly corrupt cop, so I suppose they're right to do so.

A waiver would never work. The program's workable, though. Just drag them past the real prison, not the bullshit volunteer stuff. The most (and I might say only) effective part of my own scared straight tour was the part where they showed us the hole. This was Florida in the middle of the summer, so it's unbearably hot anyway, and then they had us walk into a windowless steel room, and it was no joke, even with the door open. Now that's something you can relate to. Plus when you walk by the occupied solitary cells, guys are sticking their arms out through the food slot trying to grab you, and flashing their teeth and sticking out their tongues like Venom. That part was almost like a haunted house, but for real.

That's a good line, but it doesn't compare to "He touched my breast!"

I think I do remember that. I think they also had an update on the kids from the original, and most of them were fine, but one had went ahead and lived a life of crime anyway. Sad to say, there was a modicum of respect for his dedication. I've actually gone to one of those scared straight things in real life, and I can report that nobody takes it even slightly seriously anymore. There's flagrant laughter in the face of the cons now, because everyone pretty much knows that nothing is going to happen. Everyone has watched too many prison movies, so nobody is surprised by anything, and there's a general attitude of "Ok, I know you're trying to help me, and the prison would be absolutely retarded to let you anywhere near juveniles if they thought there was the slightest chance you would do anything, so fuck you." Particularly with me, cause I got singled out over and over again for various reasons, like once they locked me in the closet with these dudes, and they acted like they were going to rape me, but I basically just played chicken with them until they had to crack, and they let me out, by which point the rest of the group had moved on, and they tried to say "Ok, you're going to stay here and be these guys' bitch from now on. We'll call your mom and let her know what happened. This is your new home now." It's like "C'mon, guys. I'm 15, not 5. I may be a fuck up, but I'm not an idiot." The program's a total misfire. Show them the legitimate horrors of the prison system, that's scary enough... don't threaten them in the present tense. Nobody's going to fall for it. I blame the internet.

Don't worry, I'm not all that impressed by it either. Of course, I'm way less into this type of music than a lot of others, but I do like Radiohead, and still. It is a grower, though, that I can see. Hype and other silly bullshit drag it down.

Oh yeah, Sandlot was pretty good. Goonies, as well, was PG and full of cursing. Both of those were with kids too, and thus easy to imitate. I'll digress for a moment also to mention the BBC documentary John's Not Mad, which was about this teenager who had one of the most severe cases of the cursing version of Tourette syndrome ever, and they aired it totally uncensored in prime time. Just full on multiple uses of "fuck" and "cunt" and everything. He even combined them into the single word "cuntfuck". I'm not from England, but from what I hear, the next day every school kid was gleefully repeating everything he said. I suppose they let it pass because it was of "serious" subject matter, sort of like the original Scared Straight was here in the US, which had a similar effect. John's Not Mad is one of the funniest things ever, it's totally exploitative. They make him go to the library to see what happens and stuff like that. If you ever have the slightest chance to see it, do yourself a favor.

Um, Julie Warner's enlongated nipples? Of course I remember that. One of my favorite films as a 12 year old because it was PG-13 and featured multiple nude scenes including, once again, Julie Warners awesome nipples. Really? I definitely watched the movie, but I don't remember that. Those were the good old days. Kinda like how Spaceballs was PG but full of cursing. They couldn't do that today. I may have to watch Doc Hollywood again.

I kinda liked I, Robot too, but the one thing that always bothers me about it is when they have to climb up all those stairs when the robot could have easily carried them on his back. That and the absolutely shameless Chuck Taylor product placement. That was pretty low. I thought the Dr. Pepper shit they did in Spider-man was bad until I saw that.

I always laugh at those episodes, which obviously was not their intention. Maybe it has to do with context, though. Fresh Prince was, by and large, a pretty silly show, so seeing these serious themes stuck in, and oftentimes surrounded by admittedly less capable actors, makes them come off fairly absurd. His tears came off funny in the one with his father. The Carlton OD was probably the fault of Carlton, anyway, plus bringing to mind that awful Saved By the Bell episode did it no favors.

What? I agree that Will Smith is a pretty good actor, but those Fresh Prince episodes sucked.

In a horror movie? Shit, they get blatantly ripped off all the time. Oh, and speaking of Will Smith movies, I Am Legend is now movie number three based on the book of the same name, except they were all called something different. That's interesting. You know, Star Wars and Harry Potter have a few things in common.

If I had a custom urn, I'd pick... the Lament Box from Hellraiser.

Who the hell remembers Doc Hollywood, anyway? Personally I don't care, even if it's a straight rip off. It's sort of like listening to a remix album.

I read a couple of the nonfiction ones. Regarding TCITR, they were reading that once on Full House. It was when Jesse was trying to get his GED (I suppose) and Steve had to read it for class, so they decided to each read half of it. In the end, they ended up enjoying the half they read enough to go ahead and each read the whole thing. That's pretty bad when you're challenging something Full House endorses.

I dunno, Sandler's branched out a little bit... Little Nicky and Waterboy were somewhat different. Plus there's his handful of dramatic roles, which I have seen none of, but I imagine they'd have to be different.

Some fast food places are just stupid. I've seen shit like that happen at Burger King, and they had a whole jingle about how you could customize your order any way you want it. McDonalds may have had something like that too, actually, I don't really recall. On the other hand, you could just get some ketchup packets and put it on yourself.

Gary Oldman can be pretty versatile. Nicholson is the worst at playing himself all the time.

Eh, Linkin Park really aren't that bad, objectively. I mean, not something I would listen to, but they're passable for what they are. Until this latest album, at least, apparently.

No, it wasn't.

You may now kiss the bride.

Why would I want to do that?

I won't include porn sites. wikipedia x-entertainment The Internet's Sickest Sites (ok, a lot of that is porn, but not all of it, there's lots of good stuff there.) Something Awful ebay or youtube

Also, do you really like Snow, or do you just like "Informer"? I've heard his hit album, forgot most of it, but I can't imagine someone liking "Girl I've Been Hurt". Speaking of white rappers though, I didn't mind Vanilla Ice's rap/metal comeback where he tried to be all hardcore and whatnot. That's definitely a guilty pleasure.