Nighthawk

It's a pyramid scam.

Trent Acid's abdomen is too long.

Kenta Kobashi used to look like Hercules or something when he was young.

Guys are supposed to be pretty... unless you're gay. So everything appears to be in order here.

What, 5 movies about Ed Gein isn't enough?

My mom was a fan of Billy Gunn and Val Venis. Hated Shawn Michaels, cause he was a "sissy".

I have an anorexia fetish, but she's not quite there yet.

RVDs ass is way up on his back.

You could look like me. I advise a lot of the same things he does. Except I'm a lot gayer.

When that comes on, sometimes I'll solemnly acknowledge "You have to impress the candy bar to open it." My deadpan humour is quite the hit.

My serious gay answer is Jeff Hardy.

Marshall Mathers LP was better. I found Slim Shady too childish to be all that good. Anyway, now that I see what you mean Rando, I'll say you'll be safe with all that old stuff I mentioned before. Get those Boogie Down Productions albums. Sure, the first one was gangsta, but they invented gangsta. It's like the Beatles being a boy band. You definitely wouldn't mind Rakim and he is one of the best. LL Cool J up to 1990. Big Daddy Kane, Kool G Rap, Too $hort, EPMD... the list goes on. There's a goldmine of stuff from the period. Also, maybe check out DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince. Will Smith's later career unfairly overshadows that stuff, but everybody should hear He's the DJ, I'm the Rapper at least once. Hey, Agent, you ought to try Esham, if you like Tech N9ne. He used a ton of metal samples, along with many other eclectic production techniques. It's a crap shoot on whether you'd find his voice entertaining. He doesn't really sound like anyone else. Anything from the two albums I mentioned above should be good.

By the way, By All Means Necessary is not really all that harsh, but you can't justifiably recommend any BDP without including it. It's one of the best rap albums ever, and it wasn't even the best released that year. The 5 year period from 87 to 91 was insane... I'd take the rap albums released in that period over any other 5 years worth of albums. Crazy boom period there.

Perhaps that was the idea.

Ha ha. Plus they claimed to have switched their logo from green to red to aid the war effort. Ok, maybe they're not so bad.

Oh, there's only like three people that claim sexual godhood.

Whatever you hear, don't listen to Necro. He sucks so bad it's not funny. As for what's hard... Geto Boys. Yeah... they're probably the best at that sort of thing. Onyx's Bacdafucup which is a really good album aside from being menacing and abrasive. Get that. Boogie Down Productions' Criminal Minded and By All Means Necessary are essentials. Dayton Family... they're from Flint and you can tell. The very political and Wu-associated Killarmy. Some early Esham. KKKill the Fetus and Judgement Day vol. 1. The rest of his early stuff was hard, but not that good. The first three NATAS albums (Esham's group... mixing Satan, suicide and acid in with the ghetto hostility). That stuff's more fanciful than realistic, but still pretty harsh.

Yeah, because he wore a big ass gold chain. Cube rapped about guns and killing people all the time. PE were far too political for his tastes and generally violent. According to what he said he didn't want to listen to, they fit. People never understand these threads. He's outlined his scenario, and you're supposed to tell him things that he would like within those guidelines, not whatever random rap acts you think are good. Speaking of scenario... you might like Tribe Called Quest.

You won't like these, Rando. There's an outside chance Rakim could be construed as bling, but maybe not. DMX's behavior screams crack addict. Anyway, no rapper is harder than Slick Rick. Nigga got deported. Nobody else can beat that.

Depends what point of their career you mean. Words like gothic and symphonic would come up. On a related note, I always liked this cover:

Pfft. 50 is harder than DMX. DMX never got shot in the mouth.

God Robert Englund is so good as a drunken child murderer. I don't know if he'd take that as a compliment. The only other guy that could touch him in that kind of character, and he barely ever approached it in any of his roles, was (seriously) Jim Varney.

You know what this child porn thing reminds me of, the Fresh Prince where the art teacher wants to take them to the Mapplethorpe exhibit, and Will gets his permission slip but the teacher gets fired for suggesting it and Will decides to fight the power. Seems odd that Will would have been so excited to go and see pictures of cocks and naked children.

Hey, that would be good.

Those are really more of a suggestion. They'll prosecute you for much less than that if they feel so inclined.