Corey_Lazarus

Every TSM reviewer ever > Scott "Canadian Fat Fuckface" Keith HBK/Benoit was NOWHERE NEAR ****1/4. I'd give it ***1/4, ***1/2 tops.

A D J U S T E D ! AC/DC - 2 Aerosmith - 1 Alice Cooper - 1 Black Sabbath - 2 Deep Purple - 1 Iced Earth - 2 Iron Maiden - 4 Kiss - 1 Megadeth - 4 Metallica - 15 Motörhead - 4 Pantera - 4 Queen - 1 Slayer - 6 Off mine... Black Label Society - 6 Cradle Of Filth - 2 Fear Factory - 3 GWAR - 3 Nevermore - 3 Type O Negative - 2 White Zombie - 2

...I'm going to fucking kill you...

**mumbles something about not caring, since TNA's main event angles have sucked for the last six months, and then also mumbles something about Tenay being the DOA**

L4W, I actually heard Mamaluke has been just like the guy who trained him, Dean-O Machine-O, in recent years. By that I mean he's been taking it to the mat more often than not. Simon/Swinger have TNA contracts for another six months or so, I think. Besides, they wouldn't get used nearly as good as they are in TNA, and would probably have to take a paycut since they also work other indies. Doring sucks. He just does. He's the equivalent of what Kidman is now, minus the pretty awesome matches five years ago. Roadkill sucks as well, and is only over thanks to the gimmick. Mikey Whipwreck would NEVER get over anywhere besides indies. His gimmicks (either the "loser" or the over-the-top lunatic) only work in more personal environments, such as small venues, and not big arenas. EZ Money I could see making somewhat of an impact, but...the guy's ugly as sin. Seriously. Charismatic? Yes. Good worker? Yes. Knows how to get a crowd interested in a match? Yes. But he has a terrible look, and I've never heard him cut a promo. His appearance is what WWE wouldn't want. Kash also is signed to TNA for another six months or so. And I don't want him to leave TNA. He's one of the top heels there, whereas in WWE he'd be Velocity fodder.

I dunno about any UK acts. My friend told me about some bands, I think they're called Iron Maiden, Motörhead, Black Sabbath, and Judas Priest, but I can't be too sure. You know how friends can get these wacky underground metal acts' names messed up! (Oh, you forgot "Cradle Of Filth" for present UK metal bands, since they're one of the more popular black metal acts in the world...and none of this "they're not TR00" bullshit, either. You also forgot Venom in your "Past" list.)

This thread has way too many asses shooting fire...

Actually, I'm saying Overkill shouldn't be recommended because they suck. I'm a fan of death vocals, black vocals, and even can tolerate King Diamond's vocals at times. But the dude from Overkill? I want to rip out his vocal chords.

**kicks Vern in the head, and then plays air guitar**

A message so powerful, so impacting, so God damned IMPORTANT it needed to be stated THRICE.

They have 2 albums preceding La Sexorcisto. Very rare. Might be able to find 'em on FYE.com or whatever. From what my friend Pat tells me (although I hate Pat, so he's not a friend, but a kid I know), the pre-Sexo Zombie stuff is EXTREMELY different.

Well, considering I heard a song by Overkill, a VERY recent song mind you, and mistook it for Iced Earth, I'd say it was pretty power-y. And, for the record, my favorite vocalist in all of music is Lemmy Kilmister, so I don't think saying I don't like "screeched" or "rough" vocals is accurate. I just fucking hate Overkill since their singer SUCKS. The only song I think his voice doesn't ruin is "Thunderhead." And you also forget that Jeff Loomis of Nevermore was also in Sanctuary. Only good METAL band from Seattle.

I can't be the only one that sees this picture and just goes "WANGO TANGO, BABY!"

Yeah. Soulfly is pretty good live. Can't hear a damn thing they're playing as it's all one big "OOMFOOMF" from the bass, and you can hear Max go "RAHHH!" now and then, but that's about it. Insane fans, though. Pretty much the entire Portuguese population in Massachusetts turned up for them in the H8 2002 Tour (Slayer headlined, also featured In Flames). This one hot chick kept crowdsurfing and getting her tits slammed in my face. Mmmmmmm...tiiiiiits.....

Up my score a little bit. I forgot I had Metallica's Live Shit, which is three CDs. EDIT: Also, I don't think burnt CDs should count. Otherwise, I'd have enough comps that are filled with Metallica and Megadeth and Motörhead to put me in the top 5.

Overkill should never be recommended. Be it when they had their original vocalist (WORST. VOICE. EVER.) or their newer "power" stuff. And yes, I heard an Overkill song on a metal show late at night, and mistook it for Iced Earth. LAaZ Rockit, eh?

Like I said, Death is just a more "brutal" form of Thrash that could also be slow. And yes, Thumbtack, blackened thrash is insane. Check out Susperia. Man, you know what we need? More metal bands with SINGERS, and I don't mean power metal bands.

I could see either of them replacing Abyss as AJ Styles' partner, actually. It'd give 'em "the rub," easily. Otherwise, I see Jeff Jarrett overshadowing both of them with his lame mic skills, and not having a WRESTLING match for nearly a month.

Actually, I'd use the "they rule live" line to describe Sevendust. I can't stand the band, but live? Entirely different deal. Their music is the most generic of modern hard rock, but those guys are NUTS live. Pure energy, man. Lajon has the crowd eating out of his tiny hand before he even says a single word, and the guitarists are jumping all over the place. You'd think they'd suck because they're tools and all, but are actually quite fun.

...who had a legendary series of matches in the early 1980's with DYNAMITE KID...

Using my list: Acid Bath - 0 Amon Amarth - 0 Black Label Society - 6 Cradle Of Filth - 2 Danzig - 2 Dimmu Borgir - 0 Down - 0 Exodus - 1 (ORIGINAL print of Bonded By Blood, not the baby on the cover) Fear Factory - 3 GWAR - 3 The Haunted - 0 Killswitch Engage - 1 Lamb Of God - 0 Marduk - 2 (since double albums count twice, and Infernal Eternal is a live double album; I traded it to my buddy Jay for a Morbid Angel album, but I still count it because I wish I never made the trade) Nevermore - 3 Opeth - 1 Shadows Fall - 3 Type O Negative - 2 White Zombie - 2

Hey, Sancho, do you know what this party needs? Well, it could use some music! So hey, we brought the band! And they're a mightily HARDCORE fucking band, too! Hey guys, look who showed up! IT'S CHOKEN ONE!!!!!

No.

Call me weird, but I fail to see how owning albums for half of the bands on this list (little more, actually, since it's about 75% rock n' roll, and 25% metal) makes one the biggest metalhead. EDIT: Just read double albums count twice. AC/DC - 2 Accept - 0 Aerosmith - 1 Alice Cooper - 1 Anthrax - 0 Black Sabbath - 2 Blue Öyster Cult - 0 Deep Purple - 1 Def Leppard - 0 Dio - 0 Dream Theater - 3 Guns N' Roses - 0 Helloween - 1 Iced Earth - 2 Iron Maiden - 5 Jimi Hendrix Experience - 0 Judas Priest - 0 Kiss - 1 Led Zeppelin - 0. Most overrated band in existence. Manowar - 0 Megadeth - 4 Mercyful Fate - 0. Mercyful Fate fucking blows ass. FUCK KING DIAMOND. PICK A PITCH. Metal Church - 0 Metallica - 12 (and 2 tributes) Mötley Crüe - 0 Motörhead - 4 Ozzy Osbourne - 0 Pantera - 5 Queen - 1 Queensryche - 0 Quiet Riot - 0 Rainbow - 0 Ratt - 0 Riot - 0 Rush - 0 Savatage - 1 Saxon - 0 Scorpions - 0 Sepultura - 0 Skid Row - 0 Slayer - 6 (and 2 tributes) Testament - 0 Thin Lizzy - 0 Twisted Sister - 0 UFO - 0 Uriah Heep - 0 Van Halen - 1 Venom - 1 W.A.S.P. - 0. Blackie's a fucking tool. Whitesnake - 0. I have too much self-respect. Now, to prove my point about this list not being representative of metal, let's copy & paste the actual METAL bands on this list, shall we? Accept Anthrax Black Sabbath Dio Dream Theater Helloween Iced Earth Iron Maiden Judas Priest Manowar Megadeth Mercyful Fate Metal Church Metallica Motörhead Ozzy Osbourne Pantera Queensryche Rainbow Riot Savatage Saxon Scorpions Sepultura Slayer Testament UFO Uriah Heep Venom Okay, so a lot more than I thought. And you said no bitching about why my favorite bands aren't on here, but here are some bands that SHOULD be on here, because of both their popularity (while still being metal) and influence... Acid Bath Amon Amarth Black Label Society Cradle Of Filth Danzig Dimmu Borgir Down Exodus Fear Factory GWAR The Haunted Killswitch Engage Lamb Of God Marduk Nevermore Opeth Shadows Fall Type O Negative White Zombie I dub this list "Sir Inconsequential."

Other timeless movies: Ghostbusters RoboCop Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (yes, me and my friend Petone quote the "Cowabunga" line to DEATH, and even do the high-five) Nobody gets sick of Bill & Ted quotes. And if they do, kick 'em in the face. King: "Put them...in the IRON MAIDEN..." Bill/Ted: "Iron Maiden!" **do the guitar solo** King: "Torture them...EXECUTE them!" Bill/Ted: "Boooogus!" SOCRATES! Abe Lincoln: "Party on, dudes!" I voted Forrest Gump. I've heard that fucking "life is like a box of chocolates" thing too many times, as well as "run, Forrest, run," and what's worse? Even the PARODIES aren't funny.