Corey_Lazarus

...and Sabretooth is...where?

I'd give you a rundown of the years of schooling, months of on-field learning, and hours spent towards honing my fine craft as a supplier of LAN products to the Northeast, but really: it's a warehouse job my friend got me after I totalled my car 2 1/2 years ago.

See, it's funny, because I remember seeing them live before Killswitch Engage and Shadows Fall on Halloween in '03, and they put on a good show. My first exposure to them. But they have just sucked more and more since then, to the point where the only people moving to them aren't even old enough to drive yet. They ALMOST killed my urge to see Slayer that night, but hey: it's fucking Slayer. I sat through Hatebreed twice to see Slayer, so I can sit through Lamb of God.

I'm seconding Cyrus in ECW. "I'm the guy who cancelled ECW on TNN, and replaced it with RRRRRROLLLLLERRRJAAAAMMM!!" Perfect. PERFECT.

See, it sounds like TNA's house shows - as well as the Global Impact special - do better than anything they've done on TV or PPV for the last year and a half. So why not stick to that fucking formula, since it gets praise and might actually - GASP! - make you money?

Tool. 'Nuff said. I've already ranted and raved about it, but Tool is the absolute worst show I've EVER seen. A close second would be Lamb of God on the Unholy Alliance tour, and then Children of Bodom on the same night. Lamb of God just because they're horrible, and Bodom because Alexi must've been pretty hammered and missed most of his cues and was just fucking the timing up entirely.

I don't mind it now. I actually love it now. But when I first heard it? All I could think of was how this is the band that once played "Oklahoma," and wrote the 10-minute masterpiece "Veritas Aequitas." And now they're playing slower shit. I still don't think anything on the last two albums can touch Hidden Hands of a Sadist Nation, but it doesn't look like they mind too much. The chorus to "Demon(s)" is solid, and the chorus to "Sound the Surrender" is probably the best they've written, but they seem to lack that uber-edge that they did when they weren't as popular.

Dillinger is an odd band, because they used to write complete chaos, and at times it was good, but when they're off? They're WAY off. That one song that was in SDvR'06, "Unretrofied," has grown on me a lot. Not in the sense that Darkest Hour's "sellout" song, "Convalescense," has, but it has grown on me a decent amount. Still not a fan, though. And of course they won't play their OLD shit live. Nobody would buy their stuff if all they heard was screaming, even if it takes a lot of talent musically to play.

SSS - Short Sharp Shock Self-titled LP from one of Britain's premier thrash metal bands. There was an article written once in Terrorizer magazine about the modern-day leaders of the thrash metal movement. States-side, it's Municipal Waste. Across the pond? SSS and Evile. This is straight-up crossover-style thrash, in the vein of S.O.D., later Cro-Mags, and Kill 'Em All era Metallica. Fun shit, with piss-poor vocals perfectly designed to get a crowd going. Fun stuff, though ultimately forgettable. Engorged = Engorged Fun, grimey death. At times there's a nice grind influence, very reminiscent of Tomb-era Cannibal Corpse or Phobia, but at other times it's straight-forward death metal, like Deicide or later Carcass. Fun record, but brings nothing new to the table.

Webb/Supreme/Jimmy three-way. I'm calling it. If it's anything like the Kronus/Webb/Jimmy three-way from Go Funk Yourself, it'd be fun. SPIDER GERMAN through a table...OH FUCK, JIMMY MISSED THE TABLE~!

Riiiiiiiight...I got myself a bridge in Brooklyn to sell ya...

Yeah. He was released from the WWF in...late '01? Early '02? Then he joined up with TNA, and right after he became Ron "The Truth" Killings as opposed to K-Krush he also started working for XPW. I think he did a Black Panthers-esque tag team, though I can't be too sure on that. Barber?

Just dropped the "416" and added an underscore, otherwise it's been the same since the SmarksBoard in '02.

If Black isn't involved at all, why wouldn't Messiah show up? Is he even still wrestling?!

The Styles/Lynn feud from the first 4 months or so of TNA. It started off with both as faces, and then Lynn turned heel on Styles, and in two weeks time the fans completely sided with Lynn (the feud was based off of Lynn feeling that Styles didn't respect him nearly enough) so Lynn was back to a face and Styles became a wonderful cocky prick heel.

But I'm saying it was entertaining crap. I'd rather watch XPW than watch the hideousness of Sullivan's placeholder reign in early 2000. True, Benoit got the belt, but it was exactly what it was: a bribery to try and get him to stay with the sinking ship. Then he went to McMahon and was pushed into a top feud right away, had a few WWF Title shots during the year, and became a top guy by the end of 2003, and was one of the most over people on the entire roster until...well, we know until when. See, I'd rather see people at least trying to be a little different, even if they're just ripping off somebody else who had more success than they did, than see Sid, Nash, Flair, and Funk feuding with each other for no true rhyme or reason. Sullivan's early 2000 WCW run is similar to Mantel's "I'M IN CHARGE" run in TNA from late '03 until about mid '05 or so when D'Amore took over: not much happening, and what was happening was a slowed down, poor rendition of things that worked much better elsewhere. And yes, I'm saying a turd rolling down the hill on fire IS something to aspire to. At least compared to a turd standing still. I'd rather have forward motion than no motion at all, dig?

I just started watching this show Saturday night thanks to the magic of OnDemand. It's flat-out hilarious. Some of the skits aren't too funny, but others ("Race War," "Slow Jerk," "Submarine Sandwich," "It's Saturday") are flat-out fucking hilarious. Trevor Moore is great on the show, and it's funny, because he looks like some bastard clone of Edge and Bam Margera. Anybody else digging this?

Eh, Cobra Commander is under a mask. No big deal. If they suddenly took the mask off and revealed him to be some 20-something prodigy...that would be a problem.

So much for Highlanders being immortal, eh?

See, I don't think Hardy/Orton is ruined. If anything, Hardy should want the win even more now, going so far as to REALLY bust out all of the stops to get it. I didn't actually watch the match, so pardon me if it came off different live, but from what I've read of the match it seems like Hardy was about to win, and then Orton hit the RKO out of nowhere for the pin. So how does that hurt Hardy's credibility as a possible contender in the near future? He holds a victory over HHH, came thisclose to beating Orton for the WWE Title at the Rumble, and is popular enough that he could easily be built up as a champion. I'm not saying that, if he were to win the belt, give him a year, or even more than a couple of months with it, but there's no reason he can't at least be a viable contender, even at 'Mania.

Actually, it was spoken about him of before he even showed any interest in wrestling, so when he was about 6-9 years old. And I think it was actually his mother who said it, not his father. How many 6-9 year old's have you met who are very quiet and keep to themselves? Now, if you've met them, how many have grown up and been discovered to have some issues?

Corey, you better watch yourself. Me & Luke-o are gonna roll up on your hood & hand out some beatdowns. Bring it, bitch. I got Cthulhu on my side.

But Sullivan-era WCW 2000 was BETTER than XPW? Sorry, sir, we will have to disagree entirely here. At least XPW had forward motion, even if the vacating of their "World" title three times in its first year of existence was a horrible booking idea, or pitting Rob Black as the top heel was shit since a good chunk of the fans there didn't give two shits about him, or pushing itself as "out with the old, in with the new" hardcore wrestling while basing most of their early main events off of wrestlers who made their name in ECW wasn't so bright... ...BUT AT LEAST SHIT HAPPENED, MAN!

Slim, I do believe you may be the one person who hated WM20's main event.

Creature Feature - The Greatest Show Unearthed Picked this up on a whim, figuring it would be horrorpunk, or maybe some odd crust/grind/thrash. It's The Nightmare Before Christmas as sung by Marilyn Manson if he were a ring announcer. That's not even an accurate description, because it's much better than that. This is perfect for a Halloween party, but it's not a bad listen. It's fun, and the song "A Gorey Demise" is a blast to listen to, listen fake and ironic obituaries from A to Z. Curtis RX's vocals are interesting, and it turns out I've had him as a MySpace friend for quite some time now. Check 'em out if you're into Wednesday 13, Zombeast, or any other modern horrorpunk/ghoul rock.