Corey_Lazarus

AMW's in back with Scott Hudson, and Hudson shows more charisma than both men combined. Typical "YELL YELL SCREAM 'I RULE' AND SHIT" promo from AMW, and I can't help but look at my FUCK list...hey, look, AMW's right on there. FUCK AMW! Oh, and they're wearing white, thus making them look like flaming faggots. Up next is Michael Shane vs. Christopher Daniels, and Shane has the longest reign ever...AND HE'S THE WORST CHAMPION EVER! FUCK YOU, DUTCH! YOU GET NO LOVE UNTIL SHANE LOSES THE FUCKING TITLE! SAVE OUR SOULS, AND OUR TELEVISION, CHRISTOPHER!!!!!

"You can talk the talk, but can you walk the walk." What the SHIT?! I haven't heard that since I was 8 years old...and it hasn't been cool since I was 5. Team Jarrett's out... D'LO! D'LO'S BACK!!! DOWN WITH THE MOTHERFUCKING BROWN~!~!~!~! But why aren't D'Lo and AJ at odds? Before D'Lo left, he and AJ were kinda feuding...wow, strong booking Dutch...and Piper clears ring while AJ and D'Lo stand there looking pretty. Watts is out, insults Team Jarrett and says Callis is a fag (summed up, not exact words, not even a paraphrase), and I can't help but want to go into the kitchen to get a glass of orange juice. Callis is on the ramp with Team Jarrett, holding the NWA World title. And Team Jarrett begins to retreat while Watts gives a verbal BJ (using all of his teeth) to Piper. ROWDY RODDY FUCKIN' PIPER!!!! HOT ROD, HOT ROD, HOT ROD! GO, ROD, GO! GO, ROD, GO!!! ...Don West hasn't had a heart attack yet, and I feel disappointed...anybody out there?

Piper's here to claim NWA turf back. Jarrett still looks like he's getting head from a two-toothed tramp. A WHOOOOOLE bunch of blowjob work for the NWA from Piper, and my mother's telling me some story (that I, of course, don't give a fuck about) about her X-Mas shopping at Wal*Mart and tells me to clean the cat's litter box (though I feed the cat, and it's the FAMILY cat, so she should pull the workload some of the fucking time)... ...and more boring Jarrett promo time.

MORE BORING FUCKING JARRETT PROMO TIME. "With me or against me." Beating up Heavy D...Styles in with a chair...takes out Kash, Red Shirts, Triple Hulk Jarrett...promo time? Nope. Team Jarrett surrounds the ring, AJ holds 'em off with the chair...PIPER'S MUSIC HITS~! BAGPIPES, MOTHERFUCKER, BAGPIPES~! **marks out for the bagpipes** Here come the pipers...four of them in total (or five). Fuck, an entire Scottish marching band. Jarrett's awestruck, and looks like he's getting blown from a whore with two teeth and a big tongue. THE LIGHTS GO OUT~! GUERILLA RADIO~! HOT ROD~!~!~!~!~!

Iron Maiden, Slayer, Shadows Fall, Flipp, and Misfits '03 (Jerry Only, Dez, and Marky Ramone) are the BEST live bands I've ever seen.

Doesn't matter, since it's a network show. I think South Park is something like the longest running basic cable animated program...I remember it was the longest running something...maybe just longest running show on Comedy Central?

Well, I think that's because it's simply an amazing show. Isn't it something like the longest-running basic cable program? This has the potential to be good. Of course, it's gonna be hard to top last week's...

Because glam rock =/= metal. And if people can't tell the difference between hard rock and heavy metal, then they shouldn't even attempt at making a METAL list.

Remember when masturbation was fun?

If I were getting a record deal, I'd have the common sense to turn it down if it fucked me over (as most record deals with major labels do these days), or if the bands on the label sucked (since, more often than not, a band sucks because the record company makes them produce a certain type of song, thus referencing my "record company fucking the artist over" comment earlier).

500. "Astronomy" by Blue Öyster Cult 499. "Powertrip" by Monster Magnet 497. "Wait and Bleed" by Slipknot 494. "Green Machine" by Kyuss 491. "Thunder and Lightning" by Thin Lizzy 490. "Stormbringer" by Deep Purple 489. "Bad Company" by Bad Company 488. "Carry on Wayward Son" by Kansas 483. "Nothing Else Matters" by Metallica 482. "Lack of Communication" by Ratt 478. "Shoot to Thrill" by AC/DC 474. "Mean Man" by W.A.S.P. 472. "She" by Kiss 470. "And the Cradle Will Rock..." by Van Halen 469. "The Idol" by W.A.S.P. 468. "Walk All Over You" by AC/DC 467. "Rats in the Cellar" by Aerosmith 466. "Creatures of the Night" by Kiss 464. "Rock the Nation" by Montrose 463. "La Villa Strangiato" by Rush 461. "Slave to the Grind" by Skid Row 459. "Kiss of Death" by Dokken 457. "Rosin Dubh (Black Rose) A Rock Legend" by Thin Lizzy 455. "I Was Made for Loving You" by Kiss 454. "Girls, Girls, Girls" by Mötley Crüe 453. "Back in the Saddle" by Aerosmith 451. "The Final Countdown" by Europe 449. "War Machine" by Kiss 445. "Gypsy Road" by Cinderella 444. "Black Night" by Deep Purple 437. "You Can't Stop Rock 'N' Roll" by Twisted Sister 435. "Mr. Brownstone" by Guns N' Roses 428. "Man in the Box" by Alice in Chains 424. "Sex Type Thing" by Stone Temple Pilots 421. "Monkey Business" by Skid Row 419. "Poison" by Alice Cooper 418. "Talk Dirty to Me" by Poison 417. "Rusty Cage" by Soundgarden 414. "Ogre Battle" by Queen 413. "Under the Blade" by Twisted Sister 412. "All Along the Watchtower" by Jimi Hendrix Experience 411. "Kickstart My Heart" by Mötley Crüe Those are not metal songs, and many are not metal songs by bands that aren't metal. Also... 455. "I Was Made for Loving You" by Kiss IS A FUCKING DISCO SONG!!! KISS EVEN FUCKING SAYS IT'S A DISCO SONG!!!!

I consider CoB to be more of a power/death hybrid than anything else, actually.

And Loch Ness was one of many awful gimmicks of the era in WCW, just like THE JUICER.

Which was one of the many bad gimmicks of that period in WCW, just like THE JUICER.

1. I like the idea of forming some sort of alliance between Raven and Hall due to similar pasts, but this new Triple Threat idea sucks. First off, why would Abyss leave Callis? Callis treats him fairly well, and is always putting over how much Abyss is going to hurt the opposition. Shane Douglas and Michael Shane do need a third wrestler in their troupe, I agree, as somebody to carry the workload in the ring, but not Abyss. And one more Douglas/Raven match would make me lose my mind, because the last few sucked (although the promo's leading into every match were fantastic). 2. The only time a race angle ever worked was with The Truth, and that was...what? A 2 or 3 week long thing he commented on in his promo's? Feuding over who the best black wrestler in TNA is would be an awful idea, and feuding D'Lo with X would produce decent-at-best matches. If Truth is going to become a singles star again, then he needs to aim for the belt that was stolen from him last year: THE NWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE. JJ/Truth produced two ***+ matches (IMO), and there's no reason they couldn't do it again. 3. No. Intergender matches suck if the women can't work. Trinity is good for a few spots (the Tornado Cross Armbreaker is insane, and her moonsault is pretty nice, but that's it), and Daffney is best used as a valet/manager (since she's SHIT in the ring). Besides, Trinity and Siaki are probably going to part ways due to Siaki's ego (I never though I'd MISS Sonny Siaki on my TV, but I do), and if she were to align herself with anybody, it should be somebody that can make her a face again. Although she's awesome as a heel, she'd be better as a face, since the "risk-taking femme fatale" schtick only works for faces (see: Lita). 4. They tried this with Dusty/Dustin vs. JJ/Flair in WCW. It produced two decent promo's (one by JJ/Flair, and one by Dustin the Nitro before Greed), and a shitty match that was ALL Flair and Jarrett. The less Dusty Rhodes in-ring, the better. Dustin, if WWE is stupid enough to let him go, should come into TNA, if he so chooses, as just a goofball character (because that's what he's best at). But hey, cheer up, sport. At least you gave us more than a roster this time.

The fans are bored. Notice how they BARELY make a noise anymore? That's obviously because the product isn't exciting to them. And under Russo's booking, AJ Styles became the worst-booked World champion since Chris Jericho's Undisputed title reign. AJ was made to look inferior to a man who, although has decades of experience, can barely move anymore, when AJ himself is one of the most athletic professional wrestlers on the scene today. That's a MISTAKE, and thus proving your "TNA has made no mistakes" point wrong. Then explain why Ring Of Honor is being forced to move to bigger venues because of the size of their (PAYING) crowds, and why WWE live attendance is still fairly decent for TV and PPV. The Tag chase WOULD be interesting were it not for America's Most Wanted being extremely bland in every which way. The X-Division is at its worst ever (while the title is valued slightly because Dutt and Sabin are constantly after it, the matches are usually boring, and Michael Shane is awful in every manner). Raven and Abyss are the only true highlights of TNA these days, and that's because TNA knows Raven can make even more money elsewhere, and because Mantel has a hard-on for Abyss. Jarrett is interesting, I'll give you that, right now, but guess who's in charge? Again, explain why RoH has to move to bigger venues, WWE still pulls some of the highest cable TV ratings, and live attendance for WWE TV and PPV is still fairly decent. Or, to use your own phrase against you, BE PRECISE. -"Old Man Lynn" being shunned by Callis made fans want to see Lynn, and he was never brought back. -The short feud with Credible produced nothing but bad matches whereas they used to have consistently good matches in ECW (then again, they were given time). -Lynn's a 2-time X-Division champion for a reason: he lost the belt twice. So, under Russo, he DID lose. I don't call yelling into the microphone while not saying anything of importance, and not even delivering the lines well at all, "being able to talk." He can't go in the ring, he can't go on the mic, and TNA is so faithful in his mic skills that they've given him one of the best mic workers of all-time, Shane Douglas, to do his talking for him. I'm guessing there was somebody once named "MVP" that the fans KNEW about, but didn't give two shits for. So that explains why I can't remember a damn thing Eddie did under Russo's booking in WCW in early 2000 and late 1999 (and contrary to popular belief, I watched WCW until the very end), because his push was REJUVENATED. If your definition of "great" is equal to my definition of "horrible," then yes, you're right. The feud produced bad gimmick matches left and right, and the "blowoff" was a poorly-booked Texas Deathmatch (it WAS a Texas Deathmatch, as a Last Man Standing match requires NO pinfalls) where the booking would have made it seem like the feud was continuing. The overabundance of gimmicks (especially the incessant usage of CHAIN and DOG COLLAR matches, which fucking suck by nature) killed the feud from the start. I actually have to agree with vicvenomjr here. The match was solid, and probably the best of AJ's title reign (with AJ/LowKi being the only one to challenge it). So I guess his persona when Russo came in was "I'm great because I'm young, cocky, and a great wrestler." Guess what his persona was before Russo? "I'm great because I'm young, cocky, and a great wrestler." Russo didn't give him shit but bad matches and a reason to not want to see him. Be precise. Define "sports entertainment."

Because wrestling's **GASP!** fake.

Well...maybe they'll go sign with a different company that will SOMEHOW wrestle Aki (no pun intended) away from EA, if only for one game?

Remember when Metallica didn't completely fucking suck? (Agent cannot comment on this)

That's how you know the network wants to cancel your show, but can't legally because the ratings are decent: YOU GET THE FRIDAY LINEUP.

Who trained indy sensation TONY MAMALUKE.

Trying...not...to make...joke...about...Jew...taking offense...

It's never been considered a "favorite" sport, per se. It just used to be a whole lot popular when the product was a whole lot better.

**wipes up** Holy fucking shit...man, do I love WWE sometimes...

I'll shit my pants and cum all over my face if he does The People's Elbow. I really will...