Corey_Lazarus

At first I thought it was Scott Keith...then I realized Keith's stuff is more fun to read. Then I thought it was Apter, but then realized it wasn't in kayfabe. CRZ? Nope, not nearly enough move-by-move description. Csonka? No, because it's actually a decent read, and isn't filled to the brim with Asian chick references. I can sorta see what he's saying. The product is pretty much the same as it was a few years ago when everybody was down on it, but the major difference now is that the IN-RING is much better overall, which tends to be what the IWC cares most about.

Ah, the DVD (or DVB for the puro nuts). My favorite version of it, all-time, is definitely Saturn's, because he just got them up into the fireman's carry, side-step, BAM! Better than any of the ones I've seen from anybody else, IMO. Most people seem to just roll over (Lobo, I'm ESPECIALLY looking at you), not just go WHAM~ and drop them, releasing their legs when they're vertical. It's too bad that Cena uses a much tamer version of it, because I remember when the FU Victory was a DVD, and he did it well. Cutter variations always work, with my favorites being DDP's Diamond Cutter, Mikey Whipwreck's Whippersnapper (even faster and more impactful than the Stunner, and with even more variations to it than the Diamond Cutter...man I miss Mikey), and the three best users of the TKO (Mero's was sweet, as is Lynn's, but my favorite was the Messiah's Godsmack because he did a full rotation or two before dropping them into a Stunner). I've become very fond of strike finishes, too. I'm surprised that the only people State-side to use the Roaring Elbow (yeah, I know it's technically Rolling Elbow, but Roaring sounds cooler) have been Masato Tanaka (I've seen clips of other people use it, and his is STILL my favorite, especially when done Van Daminator-style to Mike Awesome or Balls Mahoney, who just sold that shit as DEATH) and Chris Hero. I love Hero, amazing heel, but his strikes are just so bland compared to his personality and technical-to-the-point-of-rifuckingdiculous style he once employed. I also love how Claudio Castagnoli's European Uppercut could be considered a finish on the indy scene, especially that elevated version he has. Tag-wise...Doomsday Device (Road Warriors), 3D (Dudley Boyz), Total Elimination (Eliminators), and the Electric Chair 'Rana (Kid Kash/Rob Van Dam, and it was an awesome visual even if botched) stand out as my favorites. I also dug Team No Respect's suplex-to-superbomb, as well as that Stomp/Cop Killa combo that LowKi and Homicide used.

I made one for the Movies folder way back when, so why not one for the Music folder? Today, I bought the following four CDs: Iron Maiden - Dance Of Death Nile - In Their Darkened Shrines Type O Negative - Life Is Killing Me Zombie Apocalypse - This Is A Spark Of Life I'm currently listening to Maiden, and it's pretty good. I still find Brave New World to be better, but I'm only four tracks in. Doesn't touch anything from the early-to-mid 80's, but very good nonetheless. Why? Well...it's Iron fucking Maiden, that's why. Nile is...damn. I don't know why I hated them for so long, but I listened to Amongst The Catacombs Of Nephren-Ka a couple of weeks ago nonstop for, like, three days straight, and I loved it. So I got this one, because many people told me it's their best so far, and I love it too. Brutal. Technical. METAL. Type O's I haven't listened to fully yet. I need to be in the right mood to listen to Type O, I guess, but "I Don't Wanna Be Me" is awesome, as are "Angry Inch" (though I hate the fucking movie) and the opening track of "Thir13en" is a good riff. Wish it went longer. Zombie Apocalypse...I feel ripped off. RIPPED THE FUCK OFF. $8 CD for...how many minutes of music? Huh? Take a guess. 45? Nope, way too high. 30? Nope, still way too high. 20?! Subtract about 8 minutes and 35 seconds. Yes, friends, Zombie Apocalypse's album is 11 minutes and 25 seconds long. Now, the tracks that are the longest are 2 and 3-minute songs, and they're a hardcore band that isn't too bad, but...I still feel ripped off. Decent enough album, and I'll take the longest tracks and add 'em to my playlist, then probably sell the CD for a buck to my friend Meehan, whose favorite bands include Give Us Barrabus and DS13 (grindcore freak; Agent would like him). So...what y'all got recently?

My qualms with Cena, outside of the dull character, stems from his (gasp!) ring work. And it's not even a problem I have with his style of taking a beating, hitting a few moves, and then winning (although that is horrible booking). I just can't believe anything he does in the ring. The F-U (err...Throwback, even if he already has another move called that) is a fucking fireman's carry slam, which is just basic amateur stuff, and he barely even puts a whole lot of effort into making it look like a finishing move. And the STFU has already been touched upon. But even his punches, kicks, and just about everything he does that isn't a lock-up or a headlock...it just all seems so soft, like he's just doing it because it's expected and not because he wants the people to actually believe it. It's actually a problem I have with quite a few wrestlers, some WWE (but not nearly all), but it definitely takes me out of the product.

Motley Crue is dece (though for every good song, they have 2 that are absolute dreck), and I'd certainly say they were the best of the bunch. Hair bands were funny, in that the music wasn't that bad (at least in the beginning), but the over-reliance on image and being just like everybody else ruined what could have possibly lead to some above-average music to be made. This review makes me laugh. And THIS shit is why hair metal died: I'm biased when it comes to hair bands, though.

I think the first sign that this is pretty much a poseur site should be the abundance of power metal in the top 10...and the additions of Motley Crue, AC/DC, and GNR.

Hmmm...to go back to the days of being a Bolt messageboard elitist, or to just go "hey pal, wrong thread"...hrmmmm... Anyways, here's some North American release dates for the first quarter of '09 (as referenced in the "2009: A Year in Music" thread). I'm just going to post the ones I'm most excited about: January 13 Short Sharp Shock - The Dividing Line Stuck Mojo - The Great Revival February 3 Cannibal Corpse - Evisceration Plague Zombi - Spirit Animal (don't really know why it's listed under metal releases) February 24 God Forbid - Earthsblood (though I never got Act of Treason, so this may just be a skip over) Absu - Absu (if I can even find some of their stuff up here, because Newbury Comics never has any of their shit) There's also the rumored new Anthrax with their new singer, as well as the possibility of new Fear Factory.

Both seasons of Metalcocalypse on DVD, and having the show's creators being continuously interviewed in the documentary portion of the Cannibal Corpse Centuries of Torment DVD.

The forthcoming Cannibal Corpse sounds like it'll be promising, especially hot off the heels of Kill. They've got a decent amount to live up to. And I wonder if Municipal Waste will write and release another one before the end of '09. Or even Short Sharp Shock, for that matter. EDIT: Thanks to this, I got me a set of release dates for bands I actually like. Some are tentative, others are actually pretty set in stone. I'm happy.

Yeah, they are. I haven't seen any TNA figure made after '05 there (including plenty of Killings and Raven figures), but I always see TNA stuff at Toys R Us and Kaybee. I'll go in if I'm in the area just to check out what the brats are getting today and whether my shit was better or not 15 years ago.

I actually love Pan's Labyrinth because it shows why the little girl is escaping to the fantasy world: to get away from the sheer hell around her. It makes plenty of sense that the fantasy segments start off very brief and increase in both length and intensity throughout as the General becomes more and more of a human monster. It's a pair of movies in one, and I think it works perfectly.

My favorites have been: The last ACTUAL ECW World title: The last ECW Tag Team titles: Original NWA-TNA X-Division title: And I always liked the newer IC title over the classic one. I just think it's egg-shaped plaque in the middle gives it more of a unique feel. I also think that the CZW titles are pretty nifty looking. Edgy, yet classy-enough to make it look like it means something.

Really? While I'll agree that the second half of the album begins to drop off before the end, I wouldn't say anything on Leviathan was straight-up bad, though.

I've never had a problem playing any BC Rich besides the clear-body Warlock. THOSE fuckers are both heavy and obnoxious to play, and apparently they fall apart rather easily once the glue starts to dry too much to boot. In fact, I think the only guitars I've ever been genuinely uncomfortable playing have been a Gibson Flying-V and a 7-string version of the ones that John 5 sponsored big when he joined Marilyn Manson back in the late 90's.

I picked up the bonus edition of The Crown's Possessed 13 last night, with the bonus disc featuring a pair of their EPs and some other songs, and also grabbed Kataklysm's Shadows and Dust. I fucking love Kataklysm, man. So fucking solid. Also...I bought me one of these: Only not the Platinum series, but rather the Bronze series, so the neck's a little different. Got a $100 card to Guitar Center from my girl's dad, and this was only $150 due to a small chunk of paint missing from the bottom right "wing" of the body. Neck's a little bent due to no string tension (low calibre strings, untuned, on there), so I threw on a pack of 10-52's and I'm going to re-adjust the action on Sunday.

Top 10 of the decade thus far, eh? I can't even think of what I got in the last few years that were RELEASED this decade. Most of the shit I've been getting into came out mid-80's/early 90's, which is my favorite period for metal overall. Hmmmm...I'd have to actually go through my CDs and even see what came out this decade. It's a safe bet Gwar, Exodus, Nevermore, and Municipal Waste will be on there, but otherwise I can't even think. Cannibal Corpse, Dying Fetus...yeah, dunno.

Uh-oh...due to the impending weather we're going to get up here in the Northeast this weekend, I might not be going to Gwar after all. I've already seen them this year, true, and it was the best show I've ever seen by them, but it's fucking GWAR.

You know, I can see the difference between grindcore and (brutal) death metal in the cases of Phobia, early Napalm Death, Brutal Truth, XXX Maniak, and others...but what makes early Carcass and Repulsion grindcore as opposed to death metal? I've never quite gotten that, honestly.

I can understanding stiffing a newb here and there, or even ribbing them a little harder than others. A pseudo-hazing of sorts. But not taking it too far, as in the case of Hardcore Holly (who got his neck fucked up for trying it with the wrong guy). Plus, JBL really didn't have much right to be fucking with Styles in the first place. If the whole "respect the veterans" line comes in, hasn't Styles been involved since '91 or '92? Earliest I can think of Bradshaw being in wrestling was '94 or '95. And I can guarantee nobody tried that shit with Shamrock or Severn when they were there, haha. ...I hate work...makes my mind loopy...

No, that fits. A couple posts earlier somebody cited Bret as somebody who was known to refuse to job, and Truthiness was giving an example.

Which is why I plan on doing the HHH/Stephanie route of knocking the bitch out and going through a Vegas drive-thru.

..............GWAR.............4 DAYS...............HAPPY LAZ............!!

BEST OF: A. Performer Of The Year - the best overall combination of someone who can back it up in the ring but can entertain on promos. 1. Chris Jericho 2. Shawn Michaels 3. CM Punk B. Wrestler Of The Year - the wrestler who can best work a technical match. Though part of "working" is the ability to entertain a crowd (this is why Hulk Hogan can never be called a bad worker - bad mat technician yes, but the man could work a crowd), this is meant for those who may not be over with Casual Joe, but Hardcore Henry says he's the greatest of all time. 1. Nigel McGuinness 2. Shawn Michaels 3. Chris Jericho C. Entertainer Of The Year - while everyone is eligable of course, the idea here is that just because all their matches are about * or less, you find them to be a guilty pleasure or hilarious or what not. I already know who the winner is but we'll go through the motions. 1. Santino Marella (except for Spaceman Spiff) (I completely agree with this, honestly.) 2. Chris Jericho 3. Shawn Michaels D. Tag-Team Of The Year: 1. Miz & Morrison 2. Steenerico 3. The Briscoes E. PPV Of The Year: 1. WWE WrestleMania 24 2. RoH Rising Above 3. WWE SummerSlam '08 F. Match Of The Year: 1. Michaels/Flair (WM 24) 2. McGuinness/Black (Take No Prisoners) 3. Money in the Bank (WM 24) G. Best Television Show Of The Year: 1. Raw H. Smart-Mark Out Moment Of The Year: 1. CM Punk knocks Edge out with GTS to win the World Heavyweight title I. DVD Of The Year (note: The SummerSlam Anthology is eligible for this): 1. RoH Bloodstained Honor J. Feud Of The Year: 1. Michaels/Jericho K. Angle Of The Year: 1. Jericho berates Michaels mid-ring, and then knocks his wife down with a suckerpunch L. Non-Match / Segment Of The Year: 1. Ric Flair's retirement ceremony on the Raw after WM 24 M. Female Of The Year (either for wrestling ability or because you find them hot, I don't care): 1. Beth Phoenix 2. Melina 3. Mickie James N. Announcer / Colour Commentator Of The Year (one or the other): 1. Tazz WORST OF: A. Least Entertaining Wrestler (Don't use the "Best Of" classifications, this is for the person who you hate to see in the ring because you find no redeeming entertainment value with them - it probably goes without saying they can't wrestle): 1. John Cena 2. Snitsky 3. Kelly Kelly B. Worst Interviews/Promos/Non-wrestling Segments: 1. The bulk of Impact over the past year C. Worst Tag Team Of The Year: 1. Hawkins/Ryder D. Worst PPV Of The Year: 1. Didn't order anything I didn't like overall...so I have no vote here E. Worst Match Of The Year: 1. Belfast Brawl - Finaly/JBL (WM 24) (Bored me to fucking tears.) F. Worst Television Show Of The Year: 1. ECW (At least Impact has AJ Styles in the ring now and again.) G. 2008's "Embarrassed to be a Wrestling Fan" Moment: 1. I can't pick just one out, because there were a few...but most of them in TNA. Soooo...the constant stupidity of the entire TNA main event scene. H. Worst / Most Disappointing DVD Of The Year: 1. That I've bought, I'd say the Stone Cold one, but that may have come out last year. I. Worst Feud: 1. Finlay/JBL & McMahon J. Worst Angle: 1. Anything with Hornswoggle besides a comedy bit at ringside K. Worst Announcer / Colour Commentator (one or the other): 1. Don West L. Worst Non-Match/Segment Of The Year: 1. ...entire TNA main event scene...? M. Worst Female Of The Year 1. Kelly Kelly

That is fucking hilarious. Ruining a children's movie = hilarious. In fact, I'm going to go deface some new Disney straight-to-video ad with "IT COMPLETELY GOES AGAINST HOW THE FIRST ONE ENDED."