Corey_Lazarus

If Ki/Senshi/Bald Puerto Rican Ninja Guy With a 'Tude/whatever wasn't so damn fucking entertaining in the ring in that "HOLY FUCK, THAT MUST HURT" sense...if he didn't make half of what he did so damn believable...well then, I'd hate him for his reported attitude backstage. But he's so damn fun to watch!

Who would say he's Uwe Boll 2.0? That's fucking ludicrous. All it takes is watching a Roth flick and seeing that even though he's rough around the edges and green as healthy grass, he still has some talent. Boll has none.

For what it's worth, my first real concert was Megadeth when I was 14. Second was Pantera/Slayer/Morbid Angel 6 months later.

I could ramble and rant on and on about how, on this and the last tour, even hardcore, balls-to-the-wall Tool fans ("pretentious idiots," as I believe they're called) said that they were bored considering most of the show was newer material, and I do believe I heard via my girlfriend that this current tour is just going to be the same as the last, so...drop acid, get wasted, and have a good time. That's all this pseudo-intellectual "progressive alternative" bullshit is good for anyway: a decent soundtrack when you're so fuck out of your skull that you don't know what the fuck is going on, time flies by, so the same note/generic riff sounds as good to you as, say, a solid groove cranked out by the late Dimebag Darrell Abbot.

Am I, like, the only hardcore horror fan that just doesn't give two flying fucks about Hostel? I saw it, thought it was tame as shit (rented the unrated version) outside of the Asian chick's eye, and just felt that it took way too long for the main character to get involved in everything for his "revenge" killing to matter at all. Cabin Fever I don't care for much, either. I didn't dislike it, like I do Hostel, but it just could have been so much more. The cast was tight (Sean Hunter vs. flesh-eating disease!?!?! ROCK N' ROLL!), but...there was just something missing, I felt. Maybe that's going to be Roth's calling-card: he's two steps ahead of Paul WS Anderson, even if Event Horizon smokes the three Roth flicks on the market right now, but he's not near a Tobe Hooper, Don Coscarelli (disregarding Phantasm III), or Sam Raimi.

Stay away from the original Ultimate X. It may have started the gimmick, but it's still the worst of them all, and this isn't even a hindsight deal: it was that lame when it first aired. Of course, the belt dropping TWICE didn't help, nor did Michael Shane's (who wasn't over AT ALL until near the END of his title reign) random winning of the belt. Outside of No Surrender '05, don't even bother with modern-day Sabin bouts. The X-Division as a whole is so lame (unless it involves Samoa Joe) after early 2004 that it's not even worth watching, really. Check out Sabin's TNA debut, which was my TNA MOTY for '03: XXX (Skipper/Daniels) vs. F'N Amazing (Lynn/Red) vs. Storm/Shark Boy vs. Cross/Sabin. Sabin OWNED the first half of this match, and it's great just to hear the reaction of the Nashville fans when Sabin did the swinging Rock Bottom-like backbreaker for the first time. BIG pop for that one, and his plancha that has he's since done in every big match? First appearance here, and still looks the best. Also, Ultimate X 2 is worth a watch. Infinitely better than the first one, and easily my favorite of all of them. LowKi (Senshi), Christopher Daniels, Chris Sabin, and Michael Shane when he just hit his perfect stride as a pure prick heel. The teased spots here are almost as good as the delivered ones, and, if anything, it's worth watching for the ass-kicking LowKi dishes out to EVERYBODY.

In the same boat. Dated this bitch for nearly 2 years, broke up with her because I'd had enough of her shit, she's engaged to some Iraq war vet a month and a half later, married by year's end. Thank god, because now that she's out of my state, I don't feel the urge to kill her as much as I used to.

SmackDown vs. Raw. Any game that has both Darkest Hour's "Convalescence" and Anthrax/Public Enemy's "Bring The Noise" owns soundtrack-wise. I remember Comix Zone having a decent soundtrack to it, too. Though the game wasn't bad (generic side-scroller beat-'em-up, but with the comic book-y graphics and such it was a damn fun game to play), the soundtrack was cool. WCW vs. The World had a solid puro-esque soundtrack, too.

There's a card being held in my hometown on June 10th (a Sunday), at 4 PM. I'm excited about this, because the last wrestling show anywhere near us was in our town by Showcase Pro Wrestling, and outside of the hint that Eddie Edwards might have been there...there wasn't much to promise me to go. That, and there was a party the same night, so I chose beer. But here's the card: Jason Blade & "Die Hard" Eddie Edwards Vs. Kid Mikaze & "Heartthrob" Antonio Thomas Kid Mikaze is nuts. He's a little spotmonkey, but he has enough of a martial arts-side to him (I believe capoeria, actually) to keep his spots interesting. Antonio Thomas was part of the Heartthrobs in WWE, Jason Blade's made a decent name for himself lately, and Eddie Edwards is fucking TIGHT and fresh off a tour with NOAH. This will be the match of the night, hands-down. Slyk Wagner Brown Vs. Brian Fury Eh...Fury's alright, but was better when he was full-on teaming with Chris Venom. Brown I'm indifferent towards. "The Epic" Mike Bennet Vs. Rick Fuller I haven't seen Fuller wrestle since Thunder was on-air, but he's become a big fucking deal in the NE indy scene in the last year, which is pretty cool. Mike Bennet can work well with most people, a little too hesitant in most of his matches, but he's not bad. I still remember a Bennet/Michael Sain match from NECW a couple of years ago that was off-the-charts in terms of heat. Brother Runt Vs. "The Ladies' Man" Gregory Edwards Dunno who Edwards is, but Runt is, as we all know, Spike Dudley. And he can bump. Like a motherfucker. Also Scheduled to Appear: "Heavenly" Johnny Angel Dunno who. Frankie Arion "Big Guns" is a solid cruiserweight who does his best work playing face-in-peril to bigger guys. Here's to hoping Michael Sain makes an appearance, because Arion/Sain is a solid "David vs. Goliath" match-up. Nick Steel Vain Eh.

SPOILERS AHEAD, FUCK THE TAG, BE FOREWARNED YE SCURVY DOGS!! Solid popcorn flick, better than the second part, but trailing behind the first one by a long ways. Pirates of the Caribbean was a movie that didn't need a sequel, and the two sequels (thus far) are proof of it: they're solid flicks, entertaining in their own ways, but ultimately pale in comparison to the original. Liked: -Elizabeth becoming the King (er, queen?) of the pirates -Governor Swann dying -The Admiral sacrificing himself for Elizabeth, and then stabbing Davey Jones rather than listening to his deal -Stone crabs -Geoffrey Rush hamming it the fuck up as Barbosa, and making the movie 100% better than it could have been without him -The constant twists in alliances, which I felt added a level of uncertainty to the flick, which I felt helped it Disliked: -Wow...so the swamp sorceress was Calypso...and she turned into a giant, then into a million crabs, and then created a maelstrom? That's IT?! Should've been featured at least one more time... -The lack of study of Davey Jones' backstory, since there were only a few lines devoted to him. He's an interesting villain, not as interesting as Barbosa in the first one, but interesting enough -Lord Beckett's death was somewhat anticlimactic, even though it fit the plot twists just fine (a final swordfight between Elizabeth and Beckett would have been much better) -Will Turner: captain of the Flying Dutchman...yeah...alriiiiiiiiight...

I've refrained from posting in this thread for obvious reasons. My cries of "fuck Jeff Jarrett" since mid-2003 until now are well-known to anybody who's frequented the TNA board often enough back then. This is different. I don't know if anybody from TNA ever even browses TSM, and I highly doubt they do, but in the off-chance they do...this is a Jarrett-hater saying rest in peace. Maybe it's because my mother was diagnosed with lung, breast, and brain cancer in January (she has since had the brain cancer entirely removed, while the lung and breast are being treated), or maybe that added with the fact that the one blood-related aunt in my family that I actually care about also has cancer (breast, and its possible she may have to have the entire breast removed), or that my father's father has survived three types of cancer (colon, and two cases of mouth cancer). Whatever the reason, even if it's just that cancer is a horrible illness itself, I say this: my she rest in peace, and may Jeff find happiness in the business he's grown up in and given himself to over and over again.

Phobia - Grind Your Fucking Head In I've been getting more and more into music that's a little more extreme, a little heavier, a little more brutal than what passes off as "heavy metal" and "hardcore" these days. The more shitty, pseudo-pop acts like Hatebreed, As I Lay Dying, Bury Your Dead, Lamb of God, Killswitch Engage, and Dragonforce get forced upon me by what constitutes as the "metal media," and the more tame I find what passes off as death and black and thrash metal to be, I yearn for something heavier. I've only recently delved into the wonderful world of grind and brutal death and their wonderful little crossover styles of porngrind and deathgrind, and I have to say: I'm loving it. Noise for the sake of noise, chaotic rumblings generated by everyday instruments so brooding and powerful that any "fan" of music (the very idea of a "music fan" disgusts me, seeing as how that implies that they like every style of music imaginable, which I find impossible to be true) would be turned off in a heartbeat due to its intentional lack of melodies and harmonies. First I listened to Skinless, then found them - albeit interesting and heavy - to be a little bit on the tame side at times. Then I found Amputated, and the hilarity of the terrible vocals is only counteracted by the well-placed samples at the beginning of each song and the simplistic beauty of the music itself. And now...I've found Phobia. Truth be told, I've heard of them before, but never really gave them a chance. I bought this on a whim this weekend while at Newbury Comics with my girlfriend, and listened to it on the ride home (well, technically, for about half of the 20-minute ride home). She didn't mind it too much, odd seeing as how she detests music the SLIGHTEST BIT more technically sound (Send More Paramedics, Municipal Waste...she just hates thrash/crossover that isn't SOD), and we both had a chuckle at how we knew there was a new song playing by the sudden changes in riffs and occasional moments of silence. That's what I like about bands whose songs might go to a minute or two at the most: the unpredictability upon early listens. When you hear a song by a band that takes even a minute amount of pride in their songwriting, you can tell where much of it is going: slow build, crazy melody over a decent-at-best riff, solid verse, sing-along chorus, piss-poor "breakdown", repeat. But when it's a band that is in it just to have bonecrushing moshpit anthems designed to scare fans of more easily digestable fare? You don't know where it's going. I appreciate that in music, even if I fail to be able to write like that without it sounding tacky and forced. Grind Your Fucking Head In is a solid purchase for fans of grind, but nobody else.

He punched. His fucking. Head. Off.

Yeah, that line was cheesy sounding. Must every action show/film use that exact line? No...but it's a staple of the Terminator mythos, so it'd make sense to use it in the show.

Yeah...I was expecting the wings and talons, and all we got as a giant octopus.

I'd prolly find it somewhat arousing. And in a non-Hentai way.

Don't toke up, love a good drink, so hey: my choice is made.

I'm coming for you...

Honestly, I did the "descriptions" pieces (I c&p'd from a MySpace bulletin Rock and Shock sent out, and expanded on it), and...I don't really have much of a clue on the last two at ALL. That's all I could find on them. Anybody else got some better details on them? But here's the biggy: LLOYD FUCKING KAUFMAN!!!!!

We need to get Detective Harry Phillip Lovecraft on this case to fuck with the inevitable human sacrifices and get that douchebag Amos Hackshaw to die, thus stopping the Elder God's return.

More reason to STILL say "fuck Ozzfest" and go to Sounds of the Underground. Say what you will about the quality of music being portrayed this year (the "great" bands aren't as "great" as last year's, but the "lame" bands aren't nearly as "lame" as last year's), you're being guaranteed a solid fucking night of heavy music.

1. JSYK's avatar fucking RULES. 2. That's exactly why I won't go, snuff. I have only two friends into Manson, and only three our four into Slayer (2 of which that would actually have the cash to go to a concert). Plus...what the fuck would Manson play? A ton off of the last three or four albums (I can't even remember how many came after Mechanical Animals, since that's when my interest dropped off), a few off Portrait (the best album they've done, which is sad considering how much more popular the other albums are), and...then the radio singles. Hurray. Manson is boring, other bands do the whole "anti-establishment, free-thinking shock rock" schtick better than Manson ever could, and Slayer OPENING? Blasphemy.

Clerks is only overrated in the sense that there have been better movies released since then on similar budgets. It's still pretty breakthrough, especially considering nobody involved could've guessed that they'd make a career out of movies just like it. The only real weakpoints in it are Brian O'Halloran's acting during a few scenes (specifically when he gets fined and tries to tell Rick Derris that he didn't do anything, that scene's pure fucking torture to watch) and the voice of the girl who plays Caitlin Bree. Say what you will about Joey Lauren Adams' rasp, but that chick's cottonball-filled mouth lisp makes me want to commit genocide. The pacing wasn't that bad, shoddy but it's a first film, and its awkwardness actually helps make the feel that Clerks was "real life" that much easier to believe. I'll actually say that Chasing Amy is overrated. It's alright, and the acting/story are solid (still aren't many movies that even TRY to go the lesbian-turns-straight route), but...I dunno. I like the goofiness of Smith's flicks more than I like the seriousness. It's easier to relate to a bunch of wisecracking know-it-all's whose main goals in life are to watch movies, get high, get drunk, get laid, and have some witty banter here and there that sometimes falls flat. I know a big criticism of Smith is that nobody actually goes into monologues about meaningless topics (ie. Superman's sex life), but that's the thing: I know a lot of people that DO go into monologues about meaningless topics (such as mine regarding thrash's superiority to power metal, and various tales of my girlfriend's brother and my friend Chris' exploits into booze and narcotics). The one movie I feel can't be touched, though, is Clerks II. It is EVERYTHING that View Askew fans could ask for: conflict, resolution, gross-out humor, holier-than-thou nerd attitudes, and a hot female co-star (Rosario Dawson, awwwwwwww).

I'd go to see 'em, but Slayer at the DCU? Nah. Saw 'em there before (first time I saw 'em, actually), and it just doesn't work for 'em. Plus I'd be paying more to see Manson than I would to just see Slayer and MAYBE bands that don't suck, so yeah: fuck it. Plus, SotU is 22 days earlier, and there'll likely be better concerts around that same time. Slayer is amazing, especially live, but I wouldn't want to have to deal with a bunch of early-to-mid 20's Manson fans that still haven't quite understood why people call them fags to see 'em.

I liked the monster truck-style Batmobile, AND the relatively cheap-looking costume. Everything was supposed to be Bruce Wayne in his infancy as Batman, so it makes sense that the designs of his stuff are kinda lame. Katie Holmes, though, should've off'd herself after showing her tits in The Gift. Fuck Dawson, fuck Disturbing Behavior (even though I like it, and think it's Nick Stahl's best role), it's all about her knockers.