Corey_Lazarus

Scarface is idolized because a man came from nothing and then owned all of Miami. Of course, then he went mad, but yeah. That's why. Nevermind the fact that it's too long, the acting is mediocre, pacing horrible, and the only really interesting aspects of the movie are sorta glazed over and towards the end...yeah. It's a piece of shit. I don't get the love for Spider-Man 2 either. It's not nearly as good as the first, and really...I know Doc Ock is a pretty decent-sized villain in the comics, but come the fuck on! He was only a threat for a few minutes, really! At least the Green Goblin terrorized Spidey constantly in the first one. I understand the lack of love for Boondock Saints. I hated it until I watched it the third time. Most of the love comes from being able to point to places in the movie and go "hey, I had a sub there," or "hey, I went there on a field trip." It's really a movie for action fans (and action movies have, for the most part, sucked ass since the 80's heyday) and Massholes. I wouldn't expect many others to even give a shit about it save for people from Mass. I'm with most on historical epics. They don't interest me at all. Braveheart I like because of my Scottish heritage, but really: it's the best one in a long line of shitty epics. Gladiator isn't bad but isn't GREAT like most say it is, I don't give a fuck about any Civil War flick, most WWII movies are shit (though I like Midway, oddly enough), and I can't even bring myself to see 300 because I know exactly what to expect: comic book-like, "epic" action scenes with everybody dressed in Greek attire. Wow. A fucking triumph. Piss off. Here's one only cult movie fans would even bother commenting on: Dellamorte Dellamore, or Cemetery Man. I bought it after hearing how funny and clever it was, and while the chicks are pretty cute and the zombie effects aren't bad (fuck, the mayor actually WAS funny)...it's lame. Lame, lame, lame, lame, LAME. Took forever to get to the point, and even then: what IS the fucking point? That life is a futile journey, and we all die in the end? Cool. Maybe the movie could have been interesting rather than futile and a little bit confusing. Movies I expect to see mentioned: American Psycho Batman Begins Dawn of the Dead (original)

Re: not ordering because of not recognizing any workers I ordered my first ECW show without knowing who anybody was outside of Bam Bam Bigelow. I was hooked right away. Of course, that was Heat Wave '98, a show that's considered to be ECW's best PPV (that and Anarchy Rulz '99), but who's to say some young, 12 or 13-year-old fan that buys PWI and other Apter-esque mags and sees the RoH name and ads for RoH tapes and articles on RoH talent won't ask his folks to buy a PPV for him? Then, they all watch it, see how great the talent actually is, and bam: three new fans (or: one new fan, and two who can at least watch it without completely hating it). Good move. I wish I had cable, though by July I likely will. Rock n' fucking roll.

Saw Modest Mouse last night at Lupo's. Skipped the first opening band, Love As Laughter, because alternative music, for the most part, is fucking atrocious. It's either going to be something sounding eerily similar to Radiohead, trying to emulate Nirvana, or be so fucking "out there" and "avante garde" for the sake of being so that it's awful. Came in, saw Man Man (who we thought was Modest Mouse initially, since their lead singer has the exact same voice), and was bored to fucking tears, so I contemplated leaving, and came up with a new rule for whenever I go to shows with people: I drive my own car no matter what. That way, if the band sucks? I can bail. Modest Mouse came on at 10:15 or so, played a few songs I knew and mostly stuff off the new album, and...yeah. They were there. It's actually amazing, because the atmosphere at an "indie rock" show is entirely different than a metal/hardcore one. I tried to push through the crowd to get to my girlfriend to give her the Modest Mouse shirt I bought her, and only two people actually moved without me having to shove them out of the way. "Uptight pricks" would be a good phrase to describe the majority of the people there. Go to a metal/hardcore show? Ask somebody to move so you can go past them, and 9/10 will do so (the 1/10 will be too drunk/stoned to register the request). I don't get it: how can music that's meant to channel anger (metal/hardcore) have a scene that's more polite than music that's meant to be listened to for how fun it is (indie rock/pop)? Show ended an hour too late (fuck all you hippies and indie fucks, I actually have a job to go to in the morning), got home around 1 after stopping by Taco Bell right before their drive-thru closed, ate my quesadilla, and fell asleep. Wake up feeling hungover when I didn't drink anything but water at the show, Slayer cranking (I have my alarm set to "Raining Blood," go ahead and make your comments), and get my ass to Dunkin' to grab some coffee and a bagel. Don't say much to my girlfriend either because we're both exhausted or mad at each other (the former is 100% true, the latter prolly true due to me not wanting to go last night and having said so a month ago upon learning of the show and thus being miserable for most of the evening), get to work, and here I am: the office is dead, there's no orders to pull, no deliveries to be made, and my boss stepped out to go to the post office and Dunkin' so I got about 20 minutes to kill. Next concert: Sounds of the Underground. I wish it was at the Tweeter Center again this year rather than the Palladium, because the Palladium has just gotten worse and worse as far as concerts go, but Tool is playing the night before at the Tweeter Center, so they won't have enough time to clean up the pretentious droppings of "oh-so-wise" Tool fans that would understand how boring the band is when they put down the beer and the joint and actually listen with sober ears.

Any music that you, yourself, do not like in any way, shape, or form is shit. Period. If you can respect any aspect of a certain song or even a certain style of music, it's not shit, it's just something you don't care for. Laz: explaining pointless opinions since...aw fuck this noise.

I can't help on the quitting spectrum, but to cut back...switch to some disgusting, NASTY cigarettes...like Marlboro Lights. They're awful in every which way - smell, taste, even the FEEL of them - which should help be a deterrent. Oh, and keep yourself occupied. It does help if you try to stay in areas where smoking is prohibited. If that doesn't help...get a cigarette case. A small, cheap one. Put only 5 or 8 AT MOST in it, and that's your allowance for the day (that is if, say, you're a pack-a-day smoker).

Anthrax - Return of the Killer A's I've never been that big of an Anthrax fan. In fact, for the most part, I just never gave a fuck about them. When it comes to 80's thrash metal, the other "big" bands (Metallica, Megadeth, Slayer, Exodus, and Testament) wrote better songs and made better albums, IMO. Plus, none of those bands had the annoying frontman Joey Belladonna. SOD will still be the best thing Scott Ian and Charlie Benante ever did, in my eyes, but this ain't bad. The music of 80's Anthrax was solid: it's straightforward thrash/speed metal with some decent thought put into it, and the lyrics are actually something of a joy, as the band NEVER took themselves too seriously. "Bring the Noise" starts it off (and proves how high the bar was set for the crossover of rap and metal/hardcore right away, which is why all following rapcore tunes and bands have, more or less, been awful...aside from Stuck Mojo, of course), and then we get the superior voice of John Bush with the lame pseudo-grunge that Anthrax turned into (what was with metal bands from the 80's turning into pseudo-grunge in the 90's, when it's been proven that THAT move is what killed off a lot of their fanbases?). Like Megadeth's Capitol Punishment, it works backwards into the Belladonna-era, and...the Belladonna era has actually become my favored era, even if I hate his voice. "Madhouse," "Caught in a Mosh," and "I'm the Law" are just too amazing to deny. Morbid Angel - Altars of Madness Considered to be the greatest death metal album of all-time. Mostly due to landmark effect, I'm going to guess, because while it's still an amazing album and owns the fuck out of most death metal from '95 on...I wouldn't maybe call it the GREATEST, so I'll assume that it's due to historical importance, which is understandable. I'd say it's easy to listen to it over and over again, much like Death's Leprosy, but...eh, jury's still out. Definitely a solid fucking album, but maybe it's because it's either overrated, or maybe (and more likely) because death metal has evolved so much since its release that finding an older purveyor of the most straightforward and brutal of extreme metal styles (since most black metal has become pseudo-progressive with more and more usage of symphony...and then there's Marduk) just doesn't mean much, like listening to Merauder, Biohazard, or Pro-Pain now and then listening to most modern hardcore/metalcore acts that they've influenced. Slayer - Undisputed Attitude I can understand why most people feel that this album should have never existed. It's Slayer with their 90's lineup - meaning Lombardo was out (IIRC, due to a drug problem that the band felt needed to be taken care of) and the inferior, though not by VERY much, Paul Bostaph was on the kit - covering old-school punk and hardcore songs. In truth, it's really not that bad of an album if you're into old-school punk and hardcore. They stick close to the songs, obviously played with their usual tuning (half-step down) and production settings, but overall? I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if this becomes something of a "forgotten gem" to thrash fans. It is, essentially, a better-produced, at times more aggressive versions of old TSOL, Minor Threat, DI, and Stooges tunes (along with, of course, other bands, including two cuts from a punk band Jeff Hanneman was a part of in '84 and '85 as a side-project before Slayer REALLY took off with Hell Awaits), and the single of "I Hate You" (I can't remember which band originally played it) easily stands out with its overly-simple riffs and amazingly powerful, heavy, punch-you-in-the-fucking-mouth production (really: every other snare hit in the tune IS like a punch in the mouth). Not for everybody, but if you love Slayer, and you love old-school thrash and hardcore, you need it, if only for completist purposes.

Pantera - Cowboys From Hell Every album after it is more simple, straightforward riff-heavy shit, whereas this was mostly guitar wankery. Every album before it was glam cheese, but this has a lot of the power-groove stuff that the band would perfect with Far Beyond Driven. CFH really stands out from the rest of the Pantera albums.

Not as good as Shaun, but it's not bad by any means. I merely prefer Shaun due to how well the relationship between Ed and Shaun was built as opposed to the pretty forced relationship between Danny and Nick in this one (although that was obviously done intentionally). The Point Break references were fucking GREAT, and even the villains in this flick were surprisingly well thought-out (meaning that ). Was the "cockicidal maniac" from the Winchester in Shaun the shopkeep in this? I could've sworn she was. All in all, this movie is fucking TIGHT. It did everything that most action flicks can't do for me: get me to root for the heroes. The moment until the end was completely ridiculous and more intense than most action flicks do these days. Overall, 8/10 (I'd give Shaun a 9.5/10, FYI). Not as good as Shaun, but by no means bad or even a waste of money. What's this Run, Fatboy, Run trailer I saw? Is it another Pegg/Wright/Frost trip, or is it just Pegg?

The Strokes - "Is This It" First: The masses rot as they breathe, bathing in plague. Last: I will rise to meet you as the fog rolls in under our feet.

The only IE song that hasn't been ruined by Barlow's awful bellows has been "Jack" off of Horror Show (maybe it helps that it's the only IE album I can listen to fully and not hate to a great extent). So, basically, this band just wants SOME press, but it's ultimately going to backfire on them. Tim Owens is good, don't deny it. His emulation of Halford grows tiring, especially when he goes to the uber-high screams, but when he stays low and "dirty" he's perfect.

They die, and they're re-animated by the virus. I can see why there would be an argument. TECHNICALLY, a zombie movie is one that focuses on voodoo practices, as a REAL zombie is one that is under the control (via "potions," AKA various herbal drugs and poisons) of a voodoo practitioner, most often as revenge on his/her family or for slavery purposes. So if you wanna get TECHNICAL about it, then everybody's wrong. Plus, the Infected do not die once infected. They get INFECTED and SLOWLY die due to dehydration and starvation (they do not eat nor drink, hence the many dying ones at the end of 28DL), but the infection makes them have incredible rage (hence its name: RAGE) and deny all other aspects of their own life to destroy all living non-infected beings. I see the Infected as a good pseudo-zombie: it has the speed that lesser-core/casual zombie fans like, it's STILL human (the classic line "we're them and they're us" is applied even more to the Infected), and it doesn't want to eat you but merely rip you to pieces. They ARE zombies in the sense that they are driven to do one thing and ignore everything else to achieve that one primal goal. Romero zombies, and most zombies in films, just want to eat. The Infected want to destroy. They ARE zombies, but they aren't because what constitutes a zombie has been forever changed by George A. Romero and John Russo.

So it's almost summer again, which means Sounds of the Underground is coming back for a third time. And, well, there's been an announced lineup! Headlined by... GWAR: Of course! Beyond Hell may be a disappointment critically (though I actually find it more fun to listen to than War Party, even if it does lack the awesomeness of a "Bring Back the Bomb" or a "Krosstika"), but Gwar is always good live. Saw them twice after SotU last year - once at Rock and Shock in Worcester, and once at Lupo's in Providence - and had great times. Hopefully they'll play more shit off of Scumdogs, especially since I think a live version of "Salamanizer" and playing "Slaughterama" live again (BRING BACK SLEAZY P. MARTINI A.S.A.P.) would kick ass for the fans who weren't around when Gwar started, instead of sticking to Violence Has Arrived, War Party, and Beyond Hell. Mystery Artist (possibly Shadows Fall): I'm really hoping it is Shadows Fall. Threads of Life is very "meh," not due to the production like some reviews have said but rather that all of the energy that was in the band for Of One Blood and the last half of The War Within was lacking entirely. If it's not Shadows Fall, who I haven't seen in nearly 4 years, then it better be somebody that could hold Gwar's thongs, because otherwise there'll probably be some pissed-off metalheads. Chimaira: Lame-ass former nu-metallers who have decided to discover metalcore and play a generic version of it. This shit was cool...when Sepultura did it first back in the early-to-mid 90's. Every Time I Die: Decent metalcore band. More straight-up hardcore at times than metalcore, and more straight-up metal at times than metalcore, so...yeah. Solid band, never seen 'em live, could be tight. Also... Necro: The only rappers who could possibly play a metal festival and not get boo'd relentlessly, and possibly murdered, would be Necro and Ill Bill. Death rap, motherfuckers. Necro's always throwing out metal references in his songs, even having metal legends appear to provide music (rather than samples) for his songs. Darkest Hour: My love for Darkest Hour has grown exponentially since I started to really get into 'em last year. Undoing Ruin was a solid album, if not a little too melodic for a band that considers itself the next evolution of thrash metal, but the chance to hear "Oklahoma," "The Sadist Nation," "So Sedated, So Secure," and HOPEFULLY "The Last Dance Massacre" live? Fuck yes! Amon Amarth: VIKING METAL INFERNAL HAILS!!! \m/ \m/ Job For A Cowboy: The "MySpace" metal band. Decent, nice grindcore stuff added to it, but...meh. Not bad for a listen here and there, but not amazing like most people think. Though maybe I just need to listen to it more. The Acacia Strain: Generic metalcore. Meh. The Devil Wears Prada: I've read about them in Terrorizer, never HEARD them, and I don't remember if the reviews in Terrorizer were any good. Heavy Heavy Low Low: Que? The Number Twelve Looks Like You: You know, I'm sick of bands whose names are probably longer than the thought process put into their songs. I'm waiting for a band to have a full paragraph for a name. Goatwhore: Heehe...this'll be fun with all of the fashioncore that's going to be on this show (though not nearly as much as there was last year). This Is Hell: Never heard of 'em. Might be good, might be amazing, or they might be God-awful. 2 Cents: See "This is Hell." So yeah. Fuck Ozzfest, SotU kicks its fucking ass for the third year in a row! GWAR!!! FUCKING GWAR!!!!

Jonah Hill has owned ass in everything he's been in. EVERYTHING. Kid's fucking hilarious.

Towel Boy "WhooooooooaaaaAAAAAH!!!" (in time with him running along the ropes) Any female "Slut! Slut! Slut!" Dudley Boyz introduction by Gertner for D-Von "...Slimmmmm, trimmmm, rough, cut, buffed...WEIGHT UNKNOWN!"

Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters Colon The Soundtrack Saw the movie Friday, and here's why I bought the album: Master Shake's tune "Nude Love," Insane-O-Flex's "I Like Your Booty (But I'm Not Gay)," and Mastodon blasting out "Cut You With a Linoleum Knife" (the King Diamond-esque song heard at the beginning, when there's a parody of the old "let's go out to the lobby" ads). It's a solid soundtrack with a focus on metal and hardcore, and a couple of rap tunes, and I'd recommend to all who've seen the movie. There's a pair of skits on the album, one where Meatwad introduces Unearth and another where Carl introduces his theme, that aren't necessarily funny, but aren't grating either. This would be a better soundtrack if it went the Troma route and included clips from the movie in between songs (especially if they included a shit-ton of the Robot Ghost of Christmas Past, who was THE highlight of the movie). Cannibal Corpse - Vile The first Corpse tune I'd heard after "Hammer Smashed Face" was "Devoured by Vermin," which is why I got this album (which, correct me if I'm wrong, is Corpsegrinder's debut with CC). Solid, but after the third or fourth song it's all very boring. The downside of death metal like this: after a few songs, it's the same stuff over and over. Not enough change for Cannibal Corpse, which is why they're best listened to sporadically. Corrosion of Conformity - Animosity When COC was still thrash before becoming the swamp boys they are today. Haven't given it a listen yet (no chance to), but will soon, and I'm definitely looking forward to it since I've heard COC was up there with DRI and Cryptic Slaughter in terms of old-school thrash. MC Lars Horris - MC Lars Horris MC Lars' first album. Only gave it a short listen, but since there wasn't much change between The Laptop EP and The Graduate, I can expect that this will be more of the same, but with slightly worse production and sampling than The Graduate. MC Lars is something that music, in general, needs today: something fun that isn't ignorant. He's a self-professed geek that hates emo and loves post-modern fiction, samples classic Scorpions tunes and hangs out with Ill Bill, speaks Chinese here and there and loves Nintendo. It's fun music for the sake of making fun music, which is why I love MC Lars.

I'd say it'd hit #3. I hope for #1, because everything's pointing to it being just as good as Shaun (and with Pegg and Wright doing it all together again, I can see that easily), but yeah. Does look fucking hilarious. ATHF was funny, but it's downside was that it was an hour and a half of the show. The same pace, too. So it was joke, 2 second break, joke, etc. etc. The best part was the opening 5 minutes when they parody those old "let's go out to the lobby" commercials that used to play before movies. The rest of the movie was still hilarious, just not AS hilarious.

Sex Ed was taught AS Sex Ed in 9th grade here, but the puberty lesson was 5th grade (free Old Spice, and I've been hooked ever since), and we had a lesson on childbirth in 8th grade. Didn't teach me anything I didn't already know, actually. I knew about sex when I was 9 or so, and knew about STDs when I was 12. The guy who taught sex ed in high school, though, was a short angry fuck - Mr. Verrochi - who coached a lot of the teams (you name it, he coached it at some point) and favored those with vaginas and knockers. Funny how a guy with 3 or 4 kids who used to tell jokes about women he used to date in high school and college preached abstinence and we had to drag out of him what to look for in a condom (ie. spermicidal lubricant vs. regular lube, etc.). We always suspected he was diddling a few of the girls, too.

Zombie Apocalypse - This is a Spark of Life (easy to do so with its 11-minute running time) Municipal Waste - Hazardous Mutation Slayer - Reign in Blood (though I'm always tempted to skip "Criminally Insane") Iron Maiden - Piece of Mind Iron Maiden - A Matter of Life and Death Dream Theater - Metropolis Pt. II - Scenes From a Memory (has to be listened all the way through, no skips, due to the story of it) White Zombie - Astro-Creep 2000 (tempted to during "Creature of the Wheel" now and again, though) Pantera - Far Beyond Driven Summers End - Summers End Unearth - III: In the Eyes of Fire The Black Dahlia Murder - Unhallowed The Black Dahlia Murder - Miasma (listening to the MANY songs that have obvious Morbid Angel influence is part of the fun) The Misfits - Coffin Set Disc I (so Caroline Collection I and II; the only Danzig-era song I really don't care for is "Come Back," actually)

Meh. Could be worse. They could be Dragonforce (who my girlfriend made me suffer through yesterday because I made her listen to Send More Paramedics and Municipal Waste).

My opinion on House of 1,000 Corpses changes each time I watch it. If Rob cut out half of the "interviews" with the Firefly family it really would have been that much better, because there's enough confusion going on with the music video-like editing to add an aura of danger to the whole thing. Plus, when ? That's a perfect indicator of what the grindhouse/exploitation horror was all about: showing you what's happening, and never once letting you forget that it's just a movie. The Devil's Rejects, though, is wonderful. The cast is perfect (yes, even Sherri Moon Zombie's horribly annoying laugh is perfect), it's violent but not overly violent (for fuck's sake, your average 80's Ahnuld flick had more actual violence in it) while at the same time being gruesome due to the nature of the characters and Rob's directing of it (again: it's there, and you're not allowed to forget it's just a movie). I don't see how anybody could say that it's not amazing. Everything about the movie was spot-on, and even the hilarious moments ( ) were so disgusting that if you were to stop and think about why you're laughing you feel dirty and somewhat ashamed. Bill Mosely and Sid Haig are wonderful together, and I wish Rob , because they're so entertaining together that the end of the movie is kind of a letdown. As for the Halloween remake goes...I guess I'm one of the few horror fans that just doesn't care about it. I've never been too big a fan of serial killer movies (I think the only slasher films I even really like are Freddy vs. Jason for its stupid, tongue-in-cheek fun and indy gorefest Kolobos), and I like Carpenter's other movies better (The Thing owns Halloween in every way, shape, and form). But I do feel that if there were any filmmaker around today that would instantly bring credibility to a remake of Halloween, it would be Zombie. To simply write him off as nothing more than a gore-oriented director is ridiculous. The man grew up on classic horror! I'd wager that there's few other people in/around Hollywood, besides those who experienced it all first-hand, that understands what made horror great in its golden ages (40's to early 50's, and the 70's to early-80's) besides Rob. Re: his last album It's no secret that Rob's solo work is completely fucking lame and inferior compared to White Zombie, but Educated Horses is, IMO, the best of his three solo albums, and here's why: the inclusion of John 5, whose solo work has been considered "country metal" due to his inclusion of steel guitar and classic rock groove, to his band has helped Rob create a sound that can truly be considered "horror music." Before, his solo stuff was just generic industrial rock, with the only few standout's being his radio singles. The exact opposite is true with Educated Horses, as the first single, "Foxy Foxy," is actually the worst song on the album. "The Lords of Salem," "The Devil's Rejects," "American Witch," and "Scorpion's Sting" are the best songs he's produced since Astro-Creep 2000 dropped in 1995.

And thus began their feud, or "beef" as I believe the "thugs" call it.

TMNT was fucking incredible. Easily my favorite of the series. The movie didn't make the mistake of spending too much time building up to the action, and didn't suffer from the awkward animation. Voice acting was spot on, animation was superb, and the only real complaint I have is that Michaelangelo and Donatello didn't matter at all. Michaelangelo was there for the occasional comedic relief (and was genuinely funny, something he usually isn't in any of the cartoons), but Donatello...yeah, he didn't matter. One good joke at the beginning about being an IT tech support for some computer company, but nothing else. They once again focus on Raph (which I like as he IS the most interesting character), and Casey Jones as a big side character was nice. The actual moviegoing experience, though, was lame. There were two teenage girls a few seats away from me and Steph (and her brother and his girlfriend) who actually didn't know who Splinter was. How the FUCK can you be over the age of 8 and NOT know who Master Splinter is?! My fucking 4-year-old niece knows all of the turtles, Splinter, Casey, April, and Shredder, and she's only seen the first movie twice. They didn't even know Splinter was a rat. WHAT. THE. FUCK?!

...explain how ICP are "high influential." It's one thing to influence their own little subgenre (which, IIRC, is horrorcore rap...which the Psychological boys do better), but "high influential" means that they've influenced performers OUTSIDE of horrorcore rap. Explain.

Slayer > every rap group ever

So move to a REAL state. And yes, I'm of the mind that the only two REAL states in NE are Massachusetts and Connecticut. NH is just the Kentucky of the north, RI is Mass Jr., and Vermont might as well be Canada.