Corey_Lazarus

...and if it sucks? Then all three of them circle jerked onto a piece of paper and made Jerry Lynn clean it up.

Okay...I really want someone to explain better why Cena/Michaels last night was great, because I fucking hated every second of it. In general, WM23 was a huge disappointment for me. I was expecting something fun and entertaining, and what I got was 2 good matches, a decent comedy fest, and the rest was filler and hogwash.

raza, it's because he's a likeable guy. He's a booking idiot, a mediocre talent when he's at his best, and pretty lame in his "so fucking hip and edgy even though I'm pushing 50" attitude...but he's got enough charisma to get him by.

The fact that there's that many indy feds in ONE FUCKING CITY is insane, when MA only has 2 or 3 that are even worth consideration.

And the worst part is? Michael Shane was actually becoming a competent worker and an over heel...AFTER he lost the X-Division title and stopped getting a push. And don't forget how, for a full month, the only interesting thing on the whole show was ICP vs. Glenn Gilberit/Kid Kash (which, also, led to the re-introduction of Monty Brown).

This past St. Patrick's Day wasn't bad for me. It was a week removed from my girlfriend's brother's birthday, as their mom sprain for a hotel room for the four of us and two of his friends from college. We kept it at six people because a year prior, in the same exact hotel room no less, we demolished everything by having the 15 core people we party with stop in to wish Jon a happy birthday. We hate an entire platter of sliced ham left over from a party his mother threw, and it all ended up on the mirror and the walls (best line o' the night was my friend Crawford, who had a piece of ham thrown into his hair: "Aw, dude, now my vegetarian girlfriend won't kiss me because I smell like ham!"). We drew a fetus with a tooth on the mirror in pink lipstick, wrote "Tony Danza Cuts In Line"...fuck, it was a fun night. But yeah. St. Patty's Day '07 was in the same room, six people, and it was a blast. I finally began to understand why the game Asshole is fun (I'd always hated it up until VERY recently), but I did feel sick at the end of the night. Didn't puke (girlfriend did), but didn't want to eat any of the pizza and buffalo tenders I partially paid for either. Ended up eating it all in the morning for a makeshift breakfast. Good night overall, though it got lame at the end. The party this past Saturday at Fort Dank (the name we give our friend's house where we all party) was much better, as I got three bounces in beirut in two games. Not a monumental feat to anybody that's decent at it, but I'm fucking awful at it.

Ya fucks. Here's to getting completey fucking hammered tonight, no matter where you'll be.

Toxic Holocaust - Evil Never Dies Found out about these guys (well, this guy) via MySpace, as he added me. Solid thrash metal in the vein of Kill 'Em All-era Metallica and Show No Mercy-era Slayer, with some parts of Schizophrena (Sepultura) and early black metal added for fun. Overall, it's a damned fine piece of thrash metal, and a great throwback to the early/mid 80's, but ultimately...it's still just thrash metal. If you don't like thrash metal you're not going to like it, but if you do then you will. I like thrash metal, and I like this album. D.R.I. - Dirty Rotten LP DRI is one of those old-school thrash/hardcore bands that were groundbreaking when they came out, but sound dated since so many bands have taken what they've done and done it better. To listen to this and then to listen to later albums when they were more crossover/metal is almost surreal, as this album is straight-forward hardcore with no pauses save for one song that is borderline boring because of how long it is compared to the riffs in it. It almost embodies what was both good and bad about early 80's hardcore: bands that played loud, fast, obnoxious heavy music just for the sake of doing so without any real care for song structure. That's both a pro and a con, a gift and a curse. It's easy to see how this style evolved into what we have as thrash today with Municipal Waste and Send More Paramedics, but it doesn't age that well. Gwar - Hell-O The first Gwar LP (besides the rare, and I believe out-of-print, Let There Be GWAR!), and it holds up very well. Gwar is the kind of band that hasn't strayed too far from their original sound (the music is more complicated now, and is metal now as compared to the hardcore punk that was played originally by the band), but has done so just enough to remain fresh. It's no Scumdogs of the Universe or War Party, but it's much better than We Kill Everything and that piece of shit Carnival of Chaos. A must for any Gwar fan. An interesting piece of this album is that the cover has the original costumes for the band's characters (as, obviously, only Dave Brockie remains as an original member, and that's just the way it should be).

I want to kill you. Okay, if anybody reading this goes, I want you to do this during Hatebreed's set: Find somebody, preferably bald and mid-20's with one or two hoops in each earlobe, wearing a Hatebreed shirt and rubbing suntan lotion on their new tribal tattoo(s), and then ask them which Hatebreed song is being played at the moment. When they say the name, ask "are you sure this isn't that song about blood, honor, and destiny?" Then wait to either get punched in the head, or have the big bald man with the tribal tattoo(s) try to explain what the hardcore scene is all about (despite probably never having heard a DRI or 7 Seconds album in his life).

Yeah...Sevendust does have a very unique sound. Lajon's voice is perfect for the music and he's not a bad singer, and there's always been enough energy in the music to keep me interested even if I don't care for the song (ie. everything off Home). As for the Mojo/Sevendust similarities, listen to Mojo's Pigwalk and then Sevendust's s/t. Musically, very similar, but I'm not really gonna go the whole "THEY FUCKING RIPPED 'EM OFF" route 100%. Would've been nice for Sevendust to at least give Mojo a shout-out now and then, considering Mojo was owning the ATL hard rock/metal scene for a few years before Sevendust meant shit. Funny note, though...if you listen to Fozzy's All That Remains (piece of shit fluff album only worth listening to for the decent guitar work by Rich Ward, guest appearance by Zakk Wylde, and Jericho's vocal cords nearly rupturing every time he tries to emulate a Halford scream), and replace Jericho's voice with Lajon's...very eerily similar...

...do I really NEED to say which band of today is fucking awful in my eyes? On the topic of middle school taste... Yeah, mine was awful. KoRn, Slipknot, Limp Bizkit, Rage Against The Machine, Amen...but, at the same time, I was also listening to Slayer, Iron Maiden, Nevermore, and The Misfits.

Every time I've watched, Kennedy has been on, and I've been mesmerized at how SMART of a worker (either through his own ringwork or from the agents/bookers telling him precisely what to do) he comes off as. He's not using psychology to the nth degree, where even a rake to the eyes means something more than "he needed a cheap way to get the advantage," but it's solid enough where it's hard to not be into the match, even when he's doing nothing but armlocks. Then, conversely, there was that awful Raven/Harris match from...I wanna say either February or March of '04 where it was 20 minutes of Raven DESTROYING Harris' left arm (his main arm, since he's a Southpaw), only for Harris to mount some minor offense ALL WITH HIS LEFT ARM to get the win (which he did by pinning Raven while HOOKING THE LEG WITH HIS LEFT ARM). TNA in late '03/'04 = worse than now.

Cannot...stop...staring...at...Rosario Dawson's...bouncing...

They're a local band to me, so for a while in middle school and early high school, Reveille was all a lot of the rock-fans talked about. That, and Laced is an alright album. Once they started doing party music (ie. their second album) they were fucked. It didn't help that nu-metal and rap/rock were on the way out when they became "popular," either, and add that to the band fighting amongst themselves and Drew Simolldares' horrible lyrics and non-existant rapping skills, yeah.

I've caught 2 episodes of "the new ECW," and I have no urge to ever watch it again, and have no care about the whole "New Breed vs. Originals" feud.

FRIDAY, APRIL 27, 2007 HEADLINERS: Dimmu Borgir, Behemoth, Bury Your Dead, Devil Driver OTHER BANDS: Walls of Jericho, Kataklysm, 3 Inches of Blood, Still Remains, Skinless, All Shall Perish, The Human Abstract, 100 Demons, Nora, Despised Icon, Abigail Williams, Nachtmystium, xDeathStarx, Daath, December Aeteralis, Merauder, Suicide Silence, Death Before Dishonor, Ligeia, Pale Horse, Kylesa, The Devil Wears Prada, Bloodlined Calligraphy, Stick To Your Guns, Skeleton Witch, As Blood Runs Black, Beneath The Massacre, Faceless, The Funeral Pyre SATURDAY, APRIL 28, 2007 HEADLINERS: Unearth, Cannibal Corpse, The Black Dahlia Murder, The Red Chord OTHER BANDS: Job For A Cowboy, Lizzy Borden, God Dethroned, Impias, Goatwhore, I Killed The Prom Queen, 3, Shai Hulud, Since The Flood, Demiricous, Celladoor, Hallows Eve, Beyond The Embrace, The Architect, Animosity, Psyopus, If Hope Dies, Gaza, Absence, Forever In Terror, Apiary, Sons Of Azreal, The Destro, The Network, Epicurean Tickets for one day are $35, and a 2-day pass is $65. Personally, I'd go to day 2. The headliners are better (Unearth, Corpse, and Black Dahlia are fucking great), and outside of Skinless, Merauder, and Kataklysm...there isn't really a band I'd pay to see on the first night. The second night has Beyond the Embrace and Shai Hulud, who alone are worth the admission (I need a Zombie Apocalypse shirt so I can get up front for Shai Hulud and scream at the members in ZA to tour), and Job For A Cowboy is the MySpace metal band (as in their fame comes mostly from MySpace and shows as opposed to album distribution). So yeah. I may get a 2-day pass if I can afford it, just to see Kataklysm, Skinless, and Merauder on the first night and then stick around for the headliners the second. Also, THE HAUNTED, DARK TRANQUILITY, INTO ETERNITY, and SCAR SYMMETRY this Friday night at the Palladium. GO, YOU FUCKERS!

Dear fucking God Lordi is awful. Yeah...that's all I have to contribute. Terrible Gwar rip-off costumes, lame-ass Finntroll-meets-Kiss "metal"...fuck the Osbournes.

I actually just listened to Lordi and Daath last night (MusicChoice OnDemand at my girlfriend's mother's house). Lordi sucks. Gwar rip-off costumes with the pyro of a Kiss concert, and lame-ass cock rock. I don't mind lame-ass cock rock when it's done right (I fucking love Flipp and dig Kiss, and I can't think of many songs from the Crue, outside of the shit from Generation Swine and the one album without Vince Neil, that I don't like), but...yeah. Daath is a perfect representative of what's wrong with death metal nowadays. The Gothenburg style produced some solid music and some solid bands, and it influenced a plethora of top bands who have had at least one very good/great album, but...it's all the same. Death metal was meant to be dangerous and brutal, and now most bands that can be labelled death metal are playing what is essentially power metal with growls over it. That works for, say, Children of Bodom (or at least it DID work for them until everybody caught on that they've recorded the same album over and over) and Arch Enemy, but...yeah. Bland, bland melodic death. The kind of band that I wish Chuck Schuldiner could come back from the grave to smack across the face.

I remember listening to the s/t with my friend Emily and really, really liking it. "Black" is such a fucking solid hard rock song it's not even funny. Then I heard Home and was bored. But it's funny about Sevendust. I can't say that I hate anything they've done, but I've never been overwhelmed by them. They're solid, true, and I think they deserved a little more success than they got (as usual, I'd blame the record company for forcing the band to make their sound more "radio friendly," thus alienating the entire fanbase, ie. Static-X, Reveille, Dope), but I can't shake the feeling that they just sorta ripped off Stuck Mojo just a little bit (which makes sense, seeing as how Mojo was a top band based out of Atlanta since the early 90's). How does Alpha stack up compared to the s/t?

It says that French people suck. Another solid one, Llakor, though not the best you've done. The insight into the Quebecois political escapades was interesting, though, but the tie-in to the IWS took too long and was rather weak.

Actually...I can believe it. I always knew Dirty Dutch was still on, I just didn't know he was still calling the shots. Makes sense, actually. Dirty Dutch, when he was brought in, booked the company to the point where the Asylum was half-empty every week (a big reason for the move to Orlando) due to his horrible Russo-like ideas that were executed half-assed (if you're going to do crashTV, do crashTV and stop pretending that you're making episodic television). All of the top guys were reduced to boring, one-dimensional characters, gimmick matches were even more overused than they were before, and heatless workers were pushed waaaaaay too high up the card (not so much a problem now because most of the roster has heat, but hey).

Pro: Nile. For free. Con: Everybody else playing, and Nile seems like they'd be awful outside instead of in a mid-sized club. ...who the fuck is Lordi? They're Gwar if Gwar played shitty arena rock and lost all of the funny drug and Satanic humor. Fuck them. This has essentially guaranteed me not going lest there be some addition of, say, a reunited S.O.D. or something.

I'd try to mount some sort of insult...but you have Patrick Bateman as your avatar.

It's not even that it's turning around to bite them in the ass, because that would imply that WWE is doing something that breaks kayfabe on-air to tarnish the reputation of TNA and/or its workers. It's that it fucking bores the shit out of the TNA fans, be they at the ImpactZone or watching at home, and when they have a chance to voice their opinion...TNA doesn't get it through their collective thick fucking water-filled heads that the shit they're shoving down our throats isn't working.

I like two songs off of Art of Balance: the title track and "A Fire in Babylon." "Idle Hands" is just a "Battery" (Metallica) knock-off, really, and I'd say I prefer the pretty lame tracks from Fallout From the War over all of Balance, save for "A Fire in Babylon." The War Within doesn't get enough love, though, even though it's the superior album to ALL of SF's work.