Corey_Lazarus

You know...there's a lot of great albums I could've put here...the usual suspects, like Metallica's Master of Puppets and Slayer's Reign in Blood, or even Shadows Fall's Of One Blood, my beloved Zombie Apocalypse/Send More Paramedics split EP Tales Told by Dead Men, or The Misfits' Static Age...but no. This is the first CD I ever owned, my true introduction to the world of metal, and was also the last original album produced by a band so many fans of the style would consider one of the greatest metal bands ever...

I've only heard the "single," if you can call it that, titled "The Reincarnation of Benjamin Briggs" (or something insanely close) off MusicChoice. And I agree with you, MJ: lots of Bruce's solo stuff influencing the sound. I was half-surprised to not see Roy Z playing guitar instead of the trio we have. Also, Dance of Death was entirely underwhelming. I think I've listened to it a handful of times, maybe even less. Brave New World trumps it in so many ways. Such as, well, "The Wicker Man" being better than every song off Dance, and "The Thin Line Between Love and Hate" being just a great classic Maiden epic. I'll be needing to pick this up. The lack of galloping that I'm hearing about is a little disheartening, truth be told, since the gallop (especially on the bass) is Maiden's trademark along with the harmonies that sound simple and prove to be somewhat tricky to play. This and Gwar's new one, Beyond Hell, are high up on my list. Damn...new Maiden, new Gwar, I need to get me some Miasma, the new Mastodon (I forget if it's s/t or called Blood Mountain, I think the former)...hrmmm...have the new Unearth, the new SYL (not as good as Alien, but the studio version of "Far Beyond Metal" is very quality, including a guest appearance by Dave "Oderus Urungus" Brockie), the new Slayer, the latest Exodus...might get the new Corpse... Shit yeah. I'm loving the downpour of good metal albums - REAL metal albums - that have been coming out this year.

Which, in the end, is where the truly memorable films lie: word-of-mouth from one friend to another.

Weirder things have happened in movies. I mean...THE ANIMALS FUCKING TALK AND DRIVE CARS.

Maybe it's because I can't stand modern rap. Maybe it's because I think the skit was too fucking long (like 3rd season MadTV too long). Maybe it's because I can't relate to the gimmick in the least since I work for a living and don't attack people to get a few bucks while they're doing their job. Or maybe it's because the delivery absolutely sucked in that it was at times straightforward and at other times slapstick/tongue-in-cheek. Yeah...or maybe it's because I'm a racist. God is white. White power. Nope...it's because the gimmick fucking sucks. How you can compare this with The Truth's gimmick is beyond me. The Truth wasn't about being a thug or rolling down the street, smoking indo, and sipping on gin and juice. The Truth was a gimmick that had a racial overtone and an "old guard vs. young blood" undertone. THAT'S why The Truth caught on after only two promo's in TNA before being given the World title. It was more than a one-note joke. It wasn't a JOKE: it was Ron Killings venting his actual frustration. Cena caught on because he was funny. He played it straight as if he felt he was a thug from the old-school, when it was incredibly apparent that he was just a white boy from Boston (that's not to say that there aren't slums in Boston - there are aplenty, especially Jamaica Plan where I have the unfortunate burden of travelling to from time-to-time to see a few of my girlfriend's closest friends who own an apartment there, but I digress - but Boston is always looked at as some posh city) trying to make himself seem bigger. He caught on because it was a joke that everybody was into, and it wasn't for nearly a full year before the writers turned the joke into a serious run. CrymeTyme? Horrible name, from what I hear lame-as-fuck wrestlers, and a one-note joke. One-note jokes go on for so long - "THAT'S THE TICKET!" - but get tired very quickly. Especially in McMahonland, where anything that works even minutely is oversaturated to the point where it stops working.

I like that Barnyard is still in the Top 10. VERY good movie. Not as funny as the other CGI flicks out by Dreamworks (though Madagascar fucking sucked outside of the lemurs), but more emotional. A good story about a young man growing up, and a lot of the laughs are things that fans of Jackass/CKY and other incredibly stupid humor can appreciate (the goat shooting the chickens out of the slingshot, "that's called BOY-tipping," and when the farmer has to be taken out...3 times).

Not to mention Anthrax > Aerosmith...and Public Enemy > Aerosmith...

I'm going to have to suggest the bulk of SOD's library as well. I love the band, don't get me wrong. Fuck Anthrax, I think Scott and Charlie should get back together with Billy and Dan and just do SOD tours and albums for the next few years, but really: "Milk"? Here are the lyrics: It's either pure, unadulterated genius to write a song so terribly dumb, or a symbol of Billy's lack of lyrical abilities. I'm leaning towards the former, myself. Though nothing by MOD really struck me as "smart" crossover, either. EDIT- RE: "Territorial Pissings" Odd that CanGuit mentions that song as I do a post about SOD. On the Speak English or LIVE DVD (also released as the live album Live at Budokan), SOD covers "Territorial Pissings"...but not before Billy has to find a piece of paper with the lyrics to the song on it because he can't understand what the fuck Kurt Cobain is saying.

I still have no fucking what songs The Game has ever released, or half of the shitty-ass bands played on the radio. And I like that.

I've jerked off at work so many times under the guise that I'm "taking a shit" I've lost count.

VX, don't remember Bruce Dickinson personally flying a plane into Lebanon to evacuate British citizens? Oh, and Lloyd Kaufman for doing things his way and making a go at being different.

I tried to convince my old band to cover "Iris" and make it all metal-y. I think it'd work perfect. They thought otherwise. Now they're broken up, and half of them turned into an emo band while the other half is a grindcore project looking for a drummer.

The Wesux (band I was in my sophomore year) Tree (not only does the name suck, the band does too) Rascal Flatts Angels & Airwaves Europe Asia Boston Waltham Chicago (naming your band after the area you're from is LAME) Nullset (especially when their original name, Gangsta Bitch Barbie, was much better) Hatebreed (really...is it a backhand nod to white power, or a terrible tribute to The Misfits?) And all of those band names that are just phrases. Yes, my beloved Shadows Fall is one of them.

My boss. He'll pay for all the cable we need to sell (since we'll be selling it, it's a business expense), and will buy a few nice cars and these huge plasma TVs...but when he needs something done around his house he can't do himself, he'll take me or my pal/co-worker Crawford out of work to do it for him. Won't pay the one-time fee to get one of us OSHA certification to run the forklift (which we know how to do anyway, just it'd be - y'know - LEGAL with the OSHA certification) so that we can train any new employees AND save him some cash should an accident occur in the warehouse, and motherfucker argued with my immediate boss when she got me a dollar raise. 9 to 10 an hour. He ARGUED it, despite me driving all over New England's eastern seaboard to make him money. Oh...and I knew this Jew who wouldn't shell out the $5 for a pack of Marlboro's so he'd buy the $3 specials (usually USA Gold) instead and "trade" (read: steal good cigs and replace 'em with his cheapass kind when they weren't looking) them all away.

The song that Mantan Moreland sings in Ghost Breakers, IIRC, about "lovin' the cocoa."

Every emo kid with sleeves has the same shit: the ace of spades, flames, maybe a dragon or two, likely something pertaining to water, and Japanese or Chinese characters. It's annoying. It's like they play WrestleMania 2000 over and over again, choosing a tattoo template for themselves on the ones allotted.

I'm trying to think of a band I listen to regularly from the midwest...but every single band I think of is either from West Coast, East Coast, or somewhere in Europe. I wouldn't consider Texas the midwest, or else I'd just list half of Pantera's post-glam catalogue (I still say Trendkill sucked and Vulgar is overrated). Soooo...yeah.

Remember when tattoos were meant only for hardasses or veterans, men and women that you knew were likely to rough you up if you talked down to 'em? Jeez...fucking emo kids and their sleeves of bullshit. Kerry King's tribal sleeve cost less than yours, and he isn't a crying a pussy like you are. ...I really fucking hate emo kids...

I concur...but only if they get somebody that's nearly as good a wrestler - or even better - as Homicide to join the team. A tag team with an ex-wrestler mouthpiece is a good idea, but it's not going to change the landscape of the business. Homicide is believable in everything he does: his moves are snug and stiff, his facial expressions make him flat-out APPEAR to be the murderous maniac that his character is made out to be, and his look in general (the ink, the shaved head, the baggy shorts and less-defined-but-bulky muscular stature) just screams "I'm going to fucking hurt you." That's the kind of guy wrestling needs right now: somebody who looks, acts, and talks believable. Hogan looked, talked, and acted larger than life. It's what helped make Hulkamania unstoppable in the 80's: Hogan was unstoppable. But he COULD be defeated. He was. Several times. Not often, but several times he was. That was one of the big pluses of Goldberg's undefeated streak: whoever ended it was getting a huge rub. Then, of course, Nash fucked it all up, and...yeah. A big plus to HHH's fucking long-ass World title reign: whoever ended it was getting a big rub. Benoit...and yeah, it went nowhere. Now I'm contradicting myself. Wait...I'm actually semi-interested in Cena now...why? Because he's believable. He's pissed off, he's attacking Edge from out of nowhere to goad him back into a title match to get his belt and pride back, and he only really gets the better of Edge when he blindsides him. Cena held the title for nearly a year, and while the majority of his reign was awful (though I still feel the first few months were really good), the ending was perfect: Edge one-up's him right after he just survived a grueling match, covered in his own blood, and beats him easily for the belt. It lead to some of the best episodes of Raw in years. We need feuds and characters (NOT GIMMICKS) that are believable. Am I saying to do away with wild men from the jungle? No, but treat them like they are: side show attractions. A throwback to wrestling's past, when the bad guys wore black and threw punches, and the good guys wore white and used hiptosses and headlocks. My idea, personally, would be to treat wrestling somewhat like a reality TV show. Don't acknowledge that the ending of every match is predetermined, but have interviews with the wrestlers much like they do on the Real World and Big Brother and whatnot. They go into a designated room out back to cut promo's, either with an interviewer or by themselves. Explain it constantly on TV that there are hidden cameras backstage, and while not everything is shown as it transpires, everything is recorded (yes, this kinda brings back GTV, but actually gives it some logic). Like almost everybody has been saying, let the wrestlers work varied styles rather than punch-kick-schoolboy-slam-pin. RVD, Rey Mysterio Jr., Chris Benoit, Kurt Angle, Sabu...these men are over not only because of their talent, but also because of how different they are from everybody else. Benoit is seen as a legitimate threat to EVERYBODY on the roster due to his technical prowess, ditto for Angle, and RVD is seen as a threat due to a high tolerance for pain, incredible agility, and knowledge of the martial arts. Mysterio is much the same way, only with greater speed and his smaller stature makes it easier for him to escape larger - and slower - wrestlers. Sabu has always been booked as a man who will fight his opponent to the death (mostly due to his own creation of the gimmick, taken from his uncle), tossing aside the risk of injury, and that's why he's a threat: he's a fucking suicide bomber. It's late, so little of this makes much sense...but I'll prolly come back to touch upon my "reality TV wrestling" idea.

NAO vs. Cactus Jack/Chainsaw Charlie - Dumpster Match (WM14) It's a great brawl, and it still holds up today. Overshadowed by the impact of Austin/HBK and the pure wrestling quality of TAKA/Aguila, but it's still a good brawl.

Off a highlight reel...or off of execution of moves? Because if it's the former, I'm agreeing with the schmuck above me and saying Foley. If it's the latter...fuckin' Benoit all the way.

It's just too bad that his band is awful. I'm trying to find a picture of Robby Roadsteamer's tattoos, because they're downright amazing. His chest has Jesus fighting a dinosaur.

TNA has some fucking good DVDs out there. The first ones released back in '03 showed a ton of promise (the ORIGINAL, and IMO superior, Best of the X-Division, as well as the Best Title Matches that chronicled highlighted World and Tag title bouts from June '02 until mid '03, and the true Bloodiest Brawls volume 1), and the ones now? They're delivering. I got PHENOMENAL: The Best of AJ Styles for X-Mas when it came out (a year and a half ago, IIRC), and that was the only DVD of wrestling I watched for a while. I bought the Best of the Bloodiest Brawls Vol. 1 DVD (the one out now with Sabu on the cover) a couple of weeks ago, and it's downright amazing. I just picked up UNSTOPPABLE: The Best of Samoa Joe last night, and I'm hoping it's nearly as good as the other two (which it will be, since Joe's awesome). Good work on the DVDs, TNA. Keep 'em coming.

Yeah. I got railed. Dames did the first year in all of its awesomeness, and I...got the Dirty Dutch era. Some of the worst wrestling shows I've ever seen. There'd be one MEDIOCRE match per show if you were lucky. Even those that loved TNA more than anybody here did over at TNS (Total Non Stop forums, a TNA fansite) hated that era.

Well...the only people I've actually met, personally, that have been into Lacuna Coil/Nightwish/etc. as more than a now-and-then listen have been the gamers/anime kids/GSA/fags/mallgoths/indie fucks. You know...the girls are all lesbians though they've never eaten pussy and suck plenty o' cock, the guys are all either bi or flat-out gay though no member of either gender would touch them for less $50, they wear clothes in two sizes (super-tight and super-baggy), don't know what colors are besides black and purple...you know, the kids most of us see while at the mall or driving down the street and just want to beat the snot out of.