Corey_Lazarus

I believe there's a song titled "Eric Clapton's Kid Killed Himself Because He Sucks", or something remarkably close to that?

I spend money on shit I don't need all the time. Which is alright, though, because I'm not saving up towards any huge thing. I pay my bills on time, I can always fill up my tank, and I'm usually the only person amongst my friends that has any real money. Which is sad, because I'm actually kinda poor, as far as my OWN money goes.

I like their debut...and that's about. I didn't mind "Denial" and Home when it came out, but WAAF played it all the time...and I got bored easily. Everything I've heard off of the first album, though - "My Ruin," "Terminator," "Bitch," and "Black" - has been magnificent hard rock. It wasn't whiney, LaJon's voice is powerful and can be both raspy and melodic, and the one time I saw them live (opening for Megadeth), they were amazing. I think you can attritbute their lack of success to MTV's pushing of whiny nu-metal and rap/rock bands over straight-forward hard rock. That...and that Sevendust and Stuck Mojo used to play shows together a lot in Atlanta, since they're both from Georgia, and Stuck Mojo used to blow 'em off the stage on a regular basis. Of course, Mojo's lack of success comes from their marketing as well (the only video they had that got any airplay, "Rising," featured Raven, DDP, and The Flock, so non-wrestling fans instantly associated them with wrestling), as well as Century Media being a more metal-oriented label (if you can think of a huge metal band these days that hasn't at least ONCE been on Century Media, you're a better man than I) and not pushing the bands whose sounds could be more commercially acceptable (they hyped Shadows Fall more than they did Skinlab, and Skinlab likely would have had a few rock-radio hits by now if they didn't otherwise).

"311 Sucks"

I see only 3 non-metal bands, and of them 2 influenced metal a great deal, and one was the closest thing to a metal band that MTV was playing for a few years (the first 2 being AC/DC and KISS, and the last one being Motley Crue). Plus, the actual metal bands listed in the top 10 actually are not only good bands, but also heavily influenced the genre. I see little wrong with this list. I do, however, see everything wrong with saying Trivium should be in a Top 10 of metal bands. Good musicians, but they're overrated. Bammey, check out some old In Flames, because that's essentially what Trivium is playing, only with more pop flavor.

Favorite Manson song of mine is "Angel With The Scabbed Wings" I give so much love to Portrait it's not even funny. If Manson had continued with the style he had going on that album, I'd like him that much more. But, oddly enough, after Portrait of an American Family, my favorite album of his is Mechanical Animals. Start-to-finish, it's just quality. Everything after it is shit, though. "Fight Song" is pretty much just Blur's "Song 2" without the brevity that makes it work, and "Disposable Teens" is just a modification of the main riff of "The Beautiful People." But yeah. "Snake Eyes & Sissies" and "Dogma" would have to be my favorite Manson songs, and some love to "Coma White."

DX/The Nation Jericho/Malenko "Sugar" Shane Helms/Evan Karagias & Shannon Moore (hush, I dug it) Team Canada/Misfits In Action (again, hush, I dug it) Awesome/Tanaka Raven/Dreamer Raven/Sandman Foley/'Taker Foley/HHH HHH/Rock Austin/McMahon Sabotage/Adrenaline (NECW's first big tag feud) Michael Sain/Frankie Arion (my favorite of the NECW Heavyweight title feuds) PRIDE/Logan Brothers (the downright BEST of the NECW tag feuds)

Don't be sorry. Post-Animals Manson isn't really worth shit.

Just barely. FNM's cover of it sounds just like it, pretty much, so Sabbath's original only wins out because it's the original.

WBCN in the morning for Opie & Anthony (they've fucking grown on me, and Jimmy Norton is the man), and then randomly BCN throughout the day when I'm in the warehouse and not on the road. When I am on the road, it's my mp3 player on shuffle. It's fun listening to Zombie Apocalypse followed by Scatman John and then Frank Zappa with the fourth horsemen being Gorerotted.

It bothered me that the two blowoff's to the Lynn/Styles feud that put TNA on the map in '02 were both pretty straight-forward spotfests. No blood, and the two were causing each other so much damage week-in and week-out. Why no bloodshed? Why no violence? It was wrestling and high-flying, and...that was it. The feud was great up until the very end.

I hope "Dani California" sweeps everything. That video is just too damn good.

Go to SomethingAwful and just go through all of the archived Comedy Goldmines. A lot of the old ones are filled with dead links, but hey. I wish RandomHate.com was still up, because it was always fun to know that a girl I graduated with was featured on one of the "Ugly Fuck of the Week" selections.

I've had to flee a pair of parties, actually. Just two. One: I just graduated, and my (then) friend Ryan was having a birthday party. I wasn't really that good of friends with him, always thought he was a fucking poseur (he loved Hatebreed and Otep and couldn't stand Toxic Narcotic and Obituary, so I rest my case), but I digress. So everybody's tossing back a couple but me because I didn't feel like it, that and we had to keep quiet because his parents were upstairs (we were in the basement/rec room), and I get loud when I'm drunk and having fun, so I decided against it. So Ryan had this girlfriend Salina, who is actually the primary reason he hates me so much now (the two of them broke up but, I guess, were on the verge of getting back together, and then I slept with her and he actually broke two of his knuckles from punching a railing just because I walked by and waved to him a month after the fact), and she wasn't having that good of a day. She got in a fight with her mom, she was on the rag, her and her "best friend" were at odds, etc. Ryan also had this fake rubber hand, the kind you'd expect to see either in a low-budget horror movie or a throwback skit on Raw to Mae Young, and it's being passed around. My buddy Petone hands it to me, and I just look at it. I toss it to my (then) friend Jason, and - on a dare - pull a Sandman with a can of root beer all over Ryan's pool table, pissing him off a little bit. Understandable, and I cleaned most of it up, and offered to come by with some cleaning materials to get the rest out of it the next day. So the hand comes back to me from Jason, and he's laughing hysterically about it. I ask what's so funny, and he goes "it was just down my pants and on my taint." I go "FUCK!" and toss it to my side. And, of course, Salina - already in a pissy mood - is sitting 10 feet away from me. To the side that I threw the hand. 1 + 1 = 2, and the hand hit her in the face. Pretty hard, too, it sounded like a smack from a real hand. She pouts, begins crying, and runs out of the house, all the while I'm apologizing to her. Ryan flips and chases after her, and I chill for a minute or two to make sure everybody there knew it was an accident, and then go outside to check up on her. Ryan walks right up to me and goes "you better go fucking apologize now, or I'm kicking your ass." First off, Ryan is shorter than me by a good 5 inches. I probably outweigh him by 20 pounds. I also run faster than he does, and used to slam my head into lockers just for fun while walking the halls in-between classes. I go over and talk to her for a little bit, and she's still pouting and going "it's okay, it was an accident, I've just had a shitty day," and Ryan starts cracking his knuckles. I don't wanna get into a fight with a kid on his birthday at his house, especially since I wasn't friends with half of the people there, so I say goodbye and me and Petone head home. And the Petone connection... My buddy Petone's sister is a fucking cunt. A REAL fucking cunt. She's one of the ugliest people I've ever met in every sense of the word. Physically she's atrocious, but I'm very able to look past that if they're a good person. I'd say half of my friends fall under the category of "ugly, but good people." So Petone's folks go away for a week to Vegas, IIRC, and he strikes a deal with his sister. They both work at the same supermarket, and in exchange for not raising a fuss about him having a few people over on Tuesday night and not telling their parents, he'll cover her shift that Friday so she can sneak off to New Hampshire to see Interpol with her friends. They agree, word gets out, and not many people show up. In total, there was actually 9 people - including Petone - at the house. Myself, Steph, Petone, our friends Crawford and Jackie, Salina, Steph's brother Jon, his friend Chris, and his girlfriend Dee. The only ones in the house were myself, Steph, Crawford, Petone, Jackie, and Salina. The other three remained in the garage at all times, smoking butts and playing guitar while having a couple beers. So his sister gets home, sees all of us out there (and since it was the middle of the summer and we were both a little beyond buzzed and a little before drunk, me and Petone were shirtless), and says "hi" and then goes inside. We don't hear a peep from her for 20 minutes, maybe more, until I try to go inside to use the bathroom. The bitch locked the garage door on us. We figure okay, it's a force of habit to lock doors to the outside after you walk in, so we knock. And knock. And knock. And then we try the front door. Locked. We knock and knock and knock, and then try the doorbell for a few minutes. It starts raining. We look into the windows and see her on the computer talking to people on AIM. She's listening to her music pretty loud, so maybe she didn't hear us. The phone's right next to her hand, and it's the portable kind that light up when they ring, so we call the house from our cell phones. She looks at the phone, answers it, and once she finds out it's us...she hangs up. The fucking cunt purposefully locked us out. I'm alright with it, until I realize that all of my shit - my shirt, my car keys, my wallet, etc. - are inside. So is Steph's purse. And Crawford's guitar and amp. And Salina's purse. And Jackie's backpack. So she locks all of our shit inside, and then tells us we have to leave or she's calling the cops. We tell her "fine, it's almost 10, we were all gonna leave at 10, just open the door and let us get our shit." Trying to reason with her. She's not listening. It starts raining - downpoor - so me and Crawford run around looking for windows to break into. He's had to do it before to get back into his own house after his sister or brothers locked him out, so we get one going halfway before we see the burglar alarm, and then put it back together. The last thing we needed was a bunch of cops showing up on suspected burglary to find a bunch of people under 21 (only Crawford was 21 at the time) drinking. So after pounding relentlessly on the garage door for what seemed like forever, I go out front to check the front door again, thinking maybe she unlocked it to check on us, or whatever, and to make sure we weren't trashing shit. I find it: a white trashbag, left half open, with my shit inside it. THE FUCKING CUNT LEFT ALL OF MY SHIT OUT IN THE RAIN. So now I flip. I start pounding so hard on the door that I had a bruise on the underside of both of my hands for nearly a week. I go back around to the garage door and start trying to just kick it in, but Petone pulls me away and tells me about how much shit he'd get in if his folks came home to find the garage door broken in. We check out front again to see if the rest of our stuff is there, and sure enough: half-open trashbags with the rest of our shit, save for Crawford's guitar and amp. That's fucking it, we've had the last straw. Steph's brother Jon knows the credit card trick, so I find an old gift card to JC Penney I got from my aunt years ago that I never used, and give it to him. He does the trick, and we hear it unlock, and he starts opening it...but the fucking bitch leans into it. It took Jon, Petone, Crawford, and myself to push against the door to get her to move. Once in, Petone just went inside to yell at her, and Crawford grabbed his guitar and amp. I get right into her face and start yelling, and then Steph goes to slap her before Petone grabs her hand, so she just yells "YOU'RE SUCH A FUCKING BITCH!" I start screaming into her face about how if she had a cock I'd knock her teeth down her throat for being such a cunt, and just glare at her from a few inches away. She tries to act as if she's all tough and gets back in my face going "what, am I supposed to be fucking intimidated?" And I yell back "no, but just remember that when you go to a party where you're drinking," and she cuts me off to tell me "I don't drink, I'm straight edge!" To which I reply "well, when you GROW THE FUCK UP, you'll find out that KARMA IS A FUCKING CUNT!" And then less than a week later, she posts in her livejournal about how she was scared that we were going to go into the house and steal everything, and how there were 20 drunk kids in the garage doing drugs and dancing naked. There was 9 of us, two of us (two guys) were shirtless because we were skanking in the rain and it was hot as balls out, and the only "drugs" there were nicotine and alcohol. And then, of course, a month later, she starts gloating to everybody about how drunk she got at a party a few nights ago. Fucking cunt.

Little kids. VERY little kids. But that's not the point of the thread. The point of the thread was to talk about what flat-out says it's fake. We know it's not real, but this is about the times when it's hard to suspend disbelief, thus ruining our enjoyment of the show. It'd be like watching a movie and constantly seeing the boom mic lower onto the screen, or seeing the reflection of a guy carrying cue-cards. What ruins my suspension of disbelief is impracticality. I know it's fake, and I know that most of what happens is scripted (or at the very least partially planned out), but when something as dumb as, say, a wrestler doing a run-in taking forever because they're waiting for their entrance music to reach its peak, and the heel in the ring beating down the face just waits. It works for some to a certain degree (like Kane or Undertaker, since both have rather ominous entrances that feel like they'd make you piss yourself if you know that you were on their shit-list), but most it's terrible.

What killed Sabin's heat was getting pushed to the backburner entirely after being the focal point of the X-Division while Christopher Daniels was with Elix Skipper, and AJ Styles chased the NWA World Heavyweight title. He's not as talented as the "big 3" of the X-Division in the last year (Styles, Daniels, and Joe), but he's still talented enough where he could be pushed believably alongside them.

Especially when there's so many better songs on the album. "My Friend of Misery" is still a fucking good song, best song on the album IMO, and should've been a single, but alas...they pick the lamest song on the record.

Which matches are clipped on which DVDs? Just so I know to avoid 'em. I still remember the first X-Division DVD being hyped as having "the first Ultimate X match IN ITS ENTIRETY"...and the whole thing was 5 minutes of bad clipjobs.

Jeez...this makes little sense towards the end...what the fuck...how tired was I?

Dickinson 2, Ozzy 0. This is just further cementing my belief that Iron Maiden are perhaps THE greatest metal band ever. Great songs? Check. Great live show? Check. Enough common sense to get their most popular bandmate back together following a less-than-stellar response to a replacement singer? Check. Frontman who actually gives a fuck about his fans and countrymen? Check. Frontman who not only gives a fuck, but actually HELPS them himself? Check. Lemmy, you better watch out, because Bruce is coming for you. Snaggletooth vs. Edward The Great? ...I'm fucking tired...but yeah, Bruce Dickinson is the man.

I think Mastodon's "Seabeast" could qualify here, since it's softer than the majority of their work and is still a good song. Then again, I can't think of a bad Mastodon song, so hey. Also...I knew "Nothing Else Matters" was going to be mentioned by somebody...but dammit, what is the fucking allure to that song? Even back when I swore to Hell and high water that The Black Album was Metallica's best work (from when I was 11 until I was 14), I STILL didn't care for that song. It's the same two verses over and over and over again for 3 minutes, a decent-at-best solo that only stands out due to how lame the rest of the song is, and then closing off on the first verse again. GAH...

The Fignerpoke of Doom is actually a clever angle to generate heat...it's just never something that should be associated with the top belt. So in the case of the X-Division title, it wouldn't be too bad an idea, especially if it furthers a feud (say, turn Nash/Sabin into Shelley/Sabin). And Sabin IS bland...as a face. As a heel, though, he's got an RVD vibe to him in the sense that he's entertaining in the ring (not amazing, not awful, and you know you'll always get a fun and watchable match out of him) and passable on the mic due to his gimmick (Sabin as a heel in '03 TNA was laid-back and cocky, because he usually won, which he needs to be again since that's what got him over). If TNA turned Sabin into a full-on arrogant prick heel again, he'd get over like gangbusters...to steal a lame catchphrase. And yeah. Their DVDs are good. I can't tell if the Bloodiest Brawls matches are clipped, but most of 'em are under 20 minutes. Some nice hardcore shit, too. Never expected a nationally televised show to get away with some of that stuff...but then again, WWE gets away with Edge going head-first into a flaming table, and being choked with barbed wire, so hey. Is the Samoe Joe DVD any good? I picked it up because I love Joe's TNA matches (haven't seen enough of his RoH work, but the matches I've seen from him in RoH were all first-year stuff and fun to watch, ESPECIALLY the Joe/Ki match or two I have on tape), and I really need to see more of 'em.

I had a manager like that at Bob's. She'd flip when I took my 15 and smoke a BUTT or two, then flip even more when I took 30 for lunch. Bob's tries to get its employees to take all of their breaks at once, but I found it more comforting to be able to work for 2-2.5 hours and then take a break than to work for 4 hours, take 45 minutes off, and then come back in for the rest of the shift. She actually brought up my break schedule once when she talked to me about tardiness and no-call/no-show (I was rarely late, and obeyed the policy of staying under 7 no-call/no-show before a conference, so she was a fucking cunt that just wanted to make an example out of me to the rest of my crew) and how I shouldn't disperse my breaks since it makes it harder to come up with hours worked...despite the fact that the time sheets are done electronically by a computer...yeah. Ames was even worse. Ames was a shitty department store chain in the Northeast, similar to K-Mart only not as diverse or even as high quality (that says something, eh), and this one manager, Anne-Marie, would actually take my card out of my vest pocket (most people kept their cards out back in the breakroom, but I always carried mine with me so that it couldn't be fucked with or lost by somebody else) and punch me out on break while I was still working. I'd then only have 10 of the 30 minutes to grab a bite to eat, so I usually just wound up running down to the Brooks in the same plaza, grabbing a soda and a couple candy bars, and running back just in time to punch back in. Man...I've always gotten fucked on lunchbreaks...especially at the pizza place I worked at, where we were expected to work 6-7 hours straight with no break at all.

Necro and his brother, Ill Bill, are essentially the Cannibal Corpse and Suffocation of the rap genre. Violent, hate-filled lyrics, some brutal beats (IIRC, Necro often has members of classic death and thrash bands appear on his albums), and just an overall morbid tone to everything. Makes it pretty funny when you listen to them on their own, and then realize Ill Bill did a song with SoCal goofball MC Lars that's, essentially, the two of them having an awkward first conversation about their favorite rappers, metal bands, and political standpoints.

I'm not even going to mention how listing Nothingface and Coal Chamber in the same breath as Motörhead is blasphemy at its finest...oh, wait, I just did. Softer metal songs...hrmmmm... Uhhhh...the obvious Metallica choices ("Fade to Black," "Welcome Home (Sanitarium)," and "The Unforgiven")... Megadeth's "A Tout le Monde" is great. Definitely one of my favorite Megadeth tunes. Gwar's "Gonna Kill U" and "The Master Has a BUTT" are both good country-ish songs from a band that is the basis of most punk/metal crossover acts following 1988. Pantera's cover of "Planet Caravan," and definitely the Black Sabbath original, are fucking mint. And my favorite "soft" song from a heavy band... "Tale Told by a Dead Man" by Zombie Apocalypse Sure, they're hardcore. But hey, J0bber essentially listed a bunch of radio-friendly trite from Roadrunner (the biggest joke of a hard rock label ever, fuck off Ross Robinson) and got away with it, so I can too.