Corey_Lazarus

Chalk me up on the side of "new TMNT toon > original TMNT toon." I actually found a few copies of the original comic, the Fugitoid series, and the show was scene-for-panel the comics. The only thing edited was the dialogue, pretty much.

My old cat CJ was like that. Small little thing, but he was vicious. Had all of the dogs in the neighborhood scared shitless to come near my yard.

Lawn gnomes are the answer.

You mean...the horrible long hair that I shaved off over a year ago? The horrible long hair that, at the time, was wet and unbrushed? The horrible long hair that I'm trying to grow back? Why...thank you. I happen to think Corey Taylor is a sexy manbeast...aside from his, you know, tendencies to smoke pole onstage and write terrible lyrics while fronting a band that has influenced more shitty bands than Oasis and Nirvana combined. Duly noted. I admit to being ugly, and I often wonder what my girlfriend even sees in me. Oh...and you're a poo-poo face. Only one quote can sum up my answer, and that is as follows: "Why yes, I did graduate with a degree in liberal arts, would you like some fries with that?" 1. As previously noted, it's H-I-P-P-I-E. 2. I'm such a hippie that I hate folk music, stick to butts, brew, and the occasional bud, and support the war in Iraq. 3. I don't think I've dropped an f-bomb once yet in this reply. Just get over yourself, dude. If you're not choosing to be sXe for health purposes or because somebody in your family has a problem (be it alcohol or narcotics), then you're a poseur-ass pussy. Again, for the record, you're a bigger tool than I. I fully admit to being a huge tool - both on the boards and IRL - but that's why I'm less of a tool than you are: I know I'm one. Now you can take whatever liberal arts degree you're getting and wrap it around the Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese I'm ordering for lunch tomorrow. Stat!

To be fair, "Come Out And Play" is the full title that is written on the tracklisting for the album. No mention of the line "keep 'em separated" in the title, IIRC. It annoys me when people say Pantera's "Walk" is called "Respect." Young'uns (like 12-14) I can understand confusing this, but then there's people that have been listening to Pantera longer than I have and don't even realize that "Respect" isn't the title of any Pantera song.

I've often wondered what one would call a homosexual who follows the sXe lifestyle. See, for a couple of years in high school, I was sXe. X on the back of both hands, angry at the world, and always used to look down on the kids in my classes whose entire points of conversation were "dude, I got so fucking hammered/stoned/etc. last night." Then I realized that these are people even drunks and stoners hate: they are, as we call them up here in MA, Yahdudes, named (appropriately enough) for their insistence upon replying with "YAH, DUDE" to most questions. The thing that separated me from other sXe kids at my school, and even in my town, was that I hung out with drunks and stoners. That's been the majority of my circle of friends since 8th grade or so when we were all learning more about life and how to cope with its shittiness. That, and I didn't rub it in everybody's fucking face (outside of the X's, which was more or less just my way of telling people to stop offering me bowls and jibbas and beer and whatnot). Oh...and I think Jager is the perfect way to end a long string of sobriety. It's delicious when served ice cold, decent when room temperature, and the licorice flavor masks the slight burn of the alcohol. Plus...Jagerbombs. Drop a shot of Red Bull into a glass of Jager and chug that shit and you're up for a while to enjoy your shitfaced antics. Those and Tequila Poppers are ideal for long nights. But yeah. I'd rather be a drunk with no future than a pussy-ass straight edge'r with no future. Beer is better than cola, fuckwads.

They might...the one thing I like about Dragonforce is the drumming, actually. Oh, and no Helloween love, Slay?

It'll suck. The original worked because it was not only ultraviolent and a war movie set in the future, but because it was also an indictment of propaganda films and totalitarian states.

Before being in a relationship, did I engage in casual sex? Check. Drinking? Check. Smoking cigarettes? Nearly a pack a day, so check. Drugs? I toke up now and then, so check. Fuck sXe. It's not a rebellion to a rebellion, you silly little twat. It's a bunch of fucking cocksmooches that don't go out and get laid and have fun like everybody else, so they get together as a support group to seem like they belong. Sure, there are plenty of healthy benefits to being sXe, but there are also plenty of healthy benefits to being a vegan, and vegans are pussies too.

I'd say Nevermore are more speed metal than power metal, really. Sludgy, fast and heavy, and Warrell's voice isn't as "pure" as most power metal singers tend to be. Very, VERY borderline, though, and I still love Nevermore.

Got there early, around noon or so. Doors weren't 'til 1, and the show wasn't until 2, but me and Steph ran into a few of our friends in the parking lot and did a tiny bit of tailgating (had some burgers and sausages, but no drinking for us due to the 90+ degree weather). Got in and grabbed water, then sat down and met these two cool cats Paul and Jay. Both are into nu-metal AND metal, both seem kinda dumb, but they were funny and, overall, nice dudes. They're looking for a guitarist, and their old band (they were handing out CDs) sound like a mix of S.O.D. and Static-X, if that makes sense. Sorta like hardcore/thrash meets nu-metal, you dig? It ain't that bad. But I digress. 1. THROUGH THE EYES OF THE DEAD We missed them opening for Bodom and Chimaira in February, IIRC, at Lupo's in Providence, and they're...alright. Nothing special, but a lot better than half of the bands on the tour. Especially the next one. 2. HORSE THE BAND Fucking sucked. We were still chilling in the picnic area (which the Massholes will remember as the Chevy Stage, or 2nd stage, at the Tweeter Center, since SotU was held in the parking lot right behind the Chevy Stage) with Paul and Jay, and all we heard was double-kick, some weird Zelda-ish music on keyboards, lame screaming, and the band members telling awful jokes in between songs. I'm pretty sure they got boo'd off the fucking stage. 3. THE CHARIOT Again, still in the picnic area, but they were fun to listen to. Paul and Jay got up to get food, and me and Steph refilled our cups of water at the bubbler by the restrooms (near the entrance), but they seemed decent enough. Something goes missing when hardcore/thrash/nu-core/whatever the fuck you wanna call it is played outside to a large number of people as opposed to a small club to a select few. Nothing too terrible. Ran into my buddy Drew and a few of his friends, and spit water on him. Joked around, he gave me a knife-edge, and then we said we'd run into each other on the inside. 4. BEHEMOTH You know, I'm not a fan, but let me say this: they're fucking AMAZING live. I may actually start listening to them just because of how much presence and power they had on stage. I only knew one of the songs, I don't even remember the title, but it's their 'hit" that's played on OnDemand and Headbanger's Ball all the time. Heard from this chick I graduated with Taylor - who's kinda cute, but has a saggy-ass and likes to preach about metal as if she's been into it forever when she just got into it in the last year because of her roommates - that Gwar was signing shit at 3 at the Jagermeister booth, so during Behemoth's set (which was at 3) we waited in line. It was just Beefcake, so we got a SotU tour poster signed by him, and Steph got a picture with him. Seemed genuinely nice and thankful to see a lot of people that were there to see his band (I saw more Gwar shirts than any other band on the tour, and there was a SHITLOAD of fashioncore fucks there just to see Killswitch Engage and As I Lay Dying), and talked with this kid about how Trivium is lame. They were signing shit at their merch booth, and the kid bought a Trivium poster earlier before coming and wanted them to sign it, but they refused because he didn't buy a $10 poster from their booth. He went on this rant about how everybody thinks Trivium is amazing when they have a couple of good songs, and that's it, and I was happy to see somebody that came with two nu-metallers wearing KoRn shirts that actually seemed like he knew something about REAL metal. 5. THE BLACK DAHLIA MURDER Fucking insanity. Fucking hilarity. Fucking brutality. Amazing. Flat-out amazing. The frontman (fuck if I remember his name) joked about how they were all finally old enough to be sponsored by Jagermeister, and then I noticed Cannibal Corpse was set to sign shit at 3:45. Waited in line with Steph to get Cannibal Corpse's autographs, and they were all EXTREMELY polite. Like...unbecoming of a classic death metal band polite. Corpsegrinder looked EVERYBODY straight in the eye, shook their hand, and said "thank you for coming out." Alex shook everybody's hand and smiled, and the rest of the guys were pretty damn polite as well. Looked over at the Gwar merch tent, and Balsac and...the other guitarist, I always forget his fucking name...were signing. Rushed over there, and 4 out of the 5 members of In Flames were in their booth (right next to Gwar's) signing shit as well. Got our Gwar autographs, and then got our In Flames autographs. The first guy was a fucking prick, looked like he hated being there, and just scribble in a ballpoint pen. It was a bunch of circles and a line, not even in any decipherable language. Prick. In Flames has sucked for a while anyway, but dammit. 6. TERROR Hurray for lame Hatebreed-wannabe STRAIGHTFUCKINEDGEbloodHONORdestiny bullshit hardcore! They sucked. Went back to the picnic area for more water, and hung out with my buddy Burton. I always see him at shows now, which is cool because he lives down the Cape and I don't see him that often at all. 7. CONVERGE Sucked. Noticed that Gwar was coming on soon, so me and Steph rushed to the stage as Converge's set ended, and then ran into - lo and behold - Ilya and Paco, former members of TDR, and likely the deciding votes on booting me out. They were actually weary-as-FUCK at talking to me, but whatever. TDR broke up because Ilya and Paco couldn't stand Ricky anymore, and the drummer of their new band broke his hand over Ricky's head while he beat the shit out of him. I laughed at that. 8. GWAR Fucking AMAZING. My first Gwar show, and I only knew two of the songs ("Bring Back the Bomb" and another one off War Party), but that's because they only play their heavier shit live. Why no "Saddam-A-Go-Go"? Or "Nitro Burning Funny Bong"? Or even "Fucking An Animal"? AND WHY NO "SICK OF YOU"?! Dammit. But I digress. Amazing show, and the Nazi Pope, George W., a T-Rex, the "President of the Gwar Fan Club," and a Piggy 5-0 were killed. My white Gwar shirt that I got as soon as I came into the parking lot looked tie-dyed from the fake blood and the blue-ish green shit they were squirting into the crowd. Steph got a crowd surfer right into her temple, so she grabbed the guy's sack, squeezed it as hard as she could, and twisted it a little bit. I fucking hate crowdsurfers for that very reason. Injuries via mosh can be prevented by staying out of the pit, but crowdsurfers just fuck up everybody's day. Assholes. Like my friend Suzy's older brother Burak always says, "just punch every crowdsurfer that comes near you in the dick." Steph felt really light headed, so we got waters and food and sat down during Cannibal Corpse. 9. CANNIBAL CORPSE Brutal. Played "Hammer Smashed Face," "Devoured by Vermin," "Fucked With a Knife," "Decency Defied," "Make Them Suffer," and a few other tunes. Steph still wasn't feeling that good, so we decided to say fuck off to the rest of the bands (the only one she even cared about seeing that was left - since we both really came for Gwar - was In Flames anyway) and left. Though I almost got a Killswitch Engage shirt, even if I don't care for them in the least. It's a fucking clever shirt. The front of it reads "KSE" in the ECW-style letters (same font, red, with the barbed wire silhouettes in them) and "EXTREME CHAMPIONSHIP METAL" beneath it. The back was something similar, but I forget what it said exactly. Got home, showered, got some food, and then slept. Fell asleep at 10:30 or so, the earliest I've fallen asleep on a Friday night in YEARS. Overall, fun experience, and I just wish it wasn't so fucking hot.

I dislike Barlow's voice, for the most part. He seems like Zakk Wylde, in that it's mumbled but still audible. But Zakk's vocals fit the music he writes, whereas Barlow's...doesn't, really. Ripper, IMO, has a better voice altogether. Just listen to Priest's "Blood Stained," and you'll see what I mean. That just may be my favorite Priest song, actually. But yeah. Dragonforce are gay.

All of my friends love Dragonforce but me. Maybe it's because I've gotten laid on a semi-regular basis since my senior year in high school.

Aye, different entirely. Strhess Tour ends on August 12th in Worcester.

Corey too. He was the smarter of the two - between him and Sean - and then became the buffoon that Sean once was. I didn't understand that at all.

Wait...I seem to remember watching matches from before '97 with tap-out victories...you sure it wasn't incorporated until then?

I remember reading PLIF back in high school, man. I wish I still had the one about Mickey Mouse, Ronald McDonald, and Pikachu...something along the lines of the three of them hanging with multiple stab wounds, obviously dead (I think Mickey actually has a knife in his chest), and the caption reads to the effect of "their kingdoms are burning down..." Religon came to me in a dream last night. He offered me a marshmallow cream pie, but I denied it since I'm on a diet of meat and pasta.

Actually, I don't think Boy Meets World got bad until towards the last season. There was definitely a change, but it was similar to actually growing up. Every character was different - aside from the parents and Feeney - to how they were in prior seasons. Though I still wanna know how Topanga went from cute-but-fucking-weird hippie bitch to sexy-as-hell prep girl over the course of a summer...

IIRC, the powerslam finish was because Steiner's neck is too banged up to take the Musclebuster, and TNA officials felt that Steiner being choked out or forced to tap would ruin his "badass motherfucker" image. Thus, the powerslam. Re: tigeraid Yes, Jarrett is a businessman. Of course he'd do the right thing and put Joe over. Just like he put Raven* ove...oh, wait. Just like he put Killings** ove...shit. Uhhh...just like he put Chris Harris ov...damn. Just like he put AJ Styles*** ove...FUCK. Just like he put Monty Brown**** ove...I'm running out of names that, at one point, were viable main event contenders. *April '03. Destiny. A turning point in TNA whereby they alienated some of their most diehard fans for nearly an entire year. Raven was beaten - SQUASHED - simply because he hadn't signed a deal. No "draw" finish, which would have been remotely acceptable. Your basic face/heel feud over the title goes "heel gets best of face - heel wins title - face fights back - face regains title." Raven was THE most interesting thing TNA had going for it for months, and they fucked it up to appease JJ's ego. **Killings has NEVER, to my knowledge, been put over Jarrett definitively to the point where one could go "The Truth is Jarrett's equal." ***AJ Styles was made to be Jarrett's bitch for the summer of '03, as well as Russo's lackey for the overall Russo/Jarrett feud that had no true ending, and only won the belt in the cage match because of Russo interfering to give AJ time to get up. ****I, like many others, didn't want Brown in the main event at all. But that didn't stop him from getting over at a main event level during that big push of his back in '04 and early '05, but they fucked it up - again - to appease JJ's ego.

Yes, but it's much easier to see them now and have the added benefit of seeing them later on their own (should they even come up here again anytime soon). And yeah, post-Vile Corpse isn't worth much...but, then again, Corpse was never worth a WHOLE lot to begin with. Good shit, though, and like it or not, they're icons of extreme metal. I wish Darkest Hour was playing in MA on the Strhess Tour. Instead, I'm just going to see Shadows Fall (headlining) and maybe Suffocation. If I can get a set time for Suffocation, and it's right before Shadows Fall? I'm seeing 'em. Every other band on the Strhess Tour is pretty fucking horrible besides Shadows Fall, Suffocation, and Darkest Hour.

If Jarrett puts Joe over, I'm watching again.

That fucking religon still owes me 10 bucks. Religon vs. Megatron: who will rule the Decepticons?

So, the "premiere" tour of the top "metal" and "hardcore" bands kicks off again this year, and yours truly is going to the July 14th show in Mansfield, MA. Now, this is a good idea for a tour, because most of the bands on the bill - both this year and last - were middleground bands in terms of popularity in the heavy music style. They were mainstream enough that the elitist metalheads knew of them long ago, but underground enough so that your average rock radio listener would think that their third album was their first. However, much like last year, this year's lineup is full of shit bands and is accented by a few good ones. Let's run down each one, aye? AS I LAY DYING are this year's headliners. They're emokids that use double-kick and play in Drop-D. That's fucking it. I've hated them since the first time I heard them, and being forced to cover their songs "Forever" and "94 Hours" when I was in TDR was a big reason why I flipped on them a few times, causing them to kick me out. IN FLAMES is a band I've never really cared for. I've never really cared for melodic death metal too much, though, since the entire point of death metal in the first place was to be brutal and rhythm-based. Melody is a staple of pop music, which death metal was the antithesis of. A few of the songs written by In Flames are really good, some even great, but most of it just seems pretty lame to me. That said...everything from Reroute to Remain until this latest album (so that's 2 or 3 albums, IIRC) is absolute shit. The latest one isn't that bad, but it's ultimately disappointing to see a band that was once the standard bearer for melodic death metal (Gothenburg, as the style is referenced as, seeing as how Gothenburg is the town where the majority of the old-school melodic death bands called home) break down into, essentially, music for fans of KoRn and Trapt. Then there's TRIVIUM, who show a lot of promise in their heaviness and well-crafted songs (music-wise)...but are disappointing due to their reliance on the vocalist's terrible growl and mediocre singing voice. Every chorus of every song is sang, and the other parts are screamed/growled poorly. It's as if a bunch of kids got together after listening to Slipknot and 80's Metallica, and decided to write their own material. CANNIBAL CORPSE brings the old-school death metal brutality as they support their new album Kill. Everything that can be said about Cannibal Corpse is true: it's grating, redundant, and oftentimes hilarious, but still heavy-as-fuck. I can't wait to get my ass kicked in a Corpse pit. TERROR is almost as bad as Bury Your Dead in the sense that they're a second-rate Hatebreed, who are terrible by themselves, but at least Terror has some catchy riffs and breakdowns. THE BLACK DAHLIA MURDER are probably the best of the modern death metal bands to come out of the States, just because their music is heavy, brutal, and only slightly melodic. Plus...they're pretty damn complex. Good musicians, the vocalist has a wonderful range of growls, and I hear they're just downright amazing live. BEHEMOTH sucks, get the fuck over it. Pseudo-black metal, pseudo-death metal...they're like Cradle of Filth without the musicianship and well-written lyrics of Dani Filth (the one credit I will give Dani is that he does have a way with words). THE CHARIOT are alright, I guess. Almost fashioncore, almost thrash, pretty hardcore...and they don't take themselves seriously to boot. No verdict, because they almost remind me of Darkest Hour, who I've been getting into more and more lately. THROUGH THE EYES OF THE DEAD is a modern death metal band that my girlfriend likes a bit, and I'm indifferent towards. They're sorta like the modern-day equivalent of Testament (to how Testament was in the old 80's speed/thrash metal scene): a good band, but ultimately not a standout band. And, of course, GWAR makes their second appearance on the festival as the "special guest" band, which means they'll go on halfway through the show, play for a half an hour or less, and put on amazing show. This is the band I'm most excited to see on the tour, since I've been listening to Gwar for 8 or 9 years now, and have never seen them live. I almost went to the Gwar/Misfits show in Worcester back in 2k, but I ran into some trouble at school (suspension), got grounded, and had to miss it. As for the other three scheduled bands, who are only playing certain dates each... CONVERGE is pretty lame hardcore that I haven't been able to get into, despite my growing affinity over the last year or so for hardcore. EVERGREEN TERRACE is alright, but nothing special. They're worth a listen if they're being played, but aren't worth seeking out. HORSE THE BAND is...meh. Overall...sounds like a better lineup than last year due to a major lack of Lamb of God, but I wish Clutch was on the bill again. I just got into Clutch last summer after SotU had passed by, so I'd be interested in seeing 'em.

Which is precisely why I dislike them, and most power metal at that. You and I have had some talks about the style, and my main reason is usually because it seems like the band's just doing everything for the sake of doing it, and not because it aids in the song itself. That's why I love Iron Maiden. Even the lesser-quality songs (discounting the Blaze era, which just doesn't exist) still have a good flow, and nothing they do seems so "out there" that it ruins the song. Fuck, "Where Eagles Dare" is a very quality metal song, and it's the same 3 or 4 riffs over and over for nearly 6 minutes. But there's just enough little changes in melody and harmony over them to make everything seem interesting. Maiden never blew their load all on one song, which is why I think they've had such staying power. That and, of course, their amazing live show. Expect a Sounds of the Underground thread started in a little bit.

Downloading isn't killing the industry. The industry said that VCRs and other home recording machines were killing the industry in the early 80's, and then look what happened: that turned out to be a whole new market from which MORE money could be derived. Apple had the right idea with iTunes. Low prices for downloadable, CD-quality music. Not everything is available, but most is. So why can't the movie industry take note of this and start their own movie downloading ring? There's always going to be those assholes that will release pirated material. They're just that: assholes. Don't get rid of the medium because some of its users are bitches.