Corey_Lazarus

Has the last 24 hours just been pretty shitty for everybody?

Classic: yes. But better than anything else at that time? Ehhhh...Maiden's owned Metallica in regards to great albums their entire career. And everything Metallica did was one-up'd by either Slayer or Megadeth. For pure speed and aggression? Slayer murders Metallica. Reign in Blood eats Master of Puppets for breakfast, and Slayer pits are a riot compared to a Metallica pit that involves a few shoves and some headbanging. For musical precision and instrumentation? Dave Mustaine has 'em beat by himself. Megadeth may not have been as popular as Metallica, but Metallica wouldn't have been the same if it weren't for Dave heavily, HEAVILY influencing their direction before James and Lars booted him. I agree fully. If Metallica had called it quits following Justice and just changed their name, maybe gotten rid of Kirk and Jason and gotten two new members, nobody would really have a problem. The best bands never last for much longer than 10 years initially, anyway.

FACT: The first CD I ever owned was White Zombie's Astro-Creep 2000. FACT: I was learning Slayer and 80's Metallica songs on my guitar before I even knew who the fuck Slipknot, KoRn, or Limp Bizkit were. FACT: You are a stupid fuckwad. Dude, you really think I'm just one of those "metalcore" bandwagon kids, eh? Oh, so I guess listening to metal since I grew my pubes in, having 200+ CDs chronicling multiple styles of the genre, and being one of the only TSM'ers that have been one of the "TSM Metalheads" since TSM started makes me a fashioncore wannabe bandwagoner. ...yeah, and I guess that means Journey is metal. I mean, they had long hair! And distorted guitars! And solo's, dude! It takes more to be a metal band than Drop-D and palm muting, dumbass. Nu-metal is just pseudo-grunge with screams about how much the overprivileged youth of the nation hate their yuppie parents instead of muttering. Weed replaced heroin, Hot Topic replaced the local thrift shop, and looking like a fucking clown replaced looking like a lumberjack. Also...what the fuck? "Far more revolutionary"?! Coal Chamber ripped off KoRn (who just ripped off Helmet), Mushroomhead is basically one big Mike Patton love afair with some Ministry thrown in (listen to Mushroomhead, and then listen to Mr. Bungle and Patton-era Faith No More, and you'll see what the fuck I mean), Slipknot is a weak-ass wannabe version of Sepultura and Slayer that stole Mushroomhead's gimmick (the original Mushroomhead masks were eerily similar to the original Slipknot ones, and Mushroomhead predates Slipknot by a few years), and Marilyn Manson just took his favorite elements of KISS and Alice Cooper and tossed some New York Dolls and David Bowie into the mix. I won't deny that SOME of these bands produced some quality music (I've been trying to get my hands on some old-school Mushroomhead to no avail since I love XX and XIII ain't that bad, and Manson produced some quality hard rock up until Holy Wood), but there's a diamond in every rough. Just because one band happens to be good at playing a bastardization of another style of music, that doesn't mean that the music being played isn't a bastardization nonetheless. Nu-Metal bands (like Coal Chamber and Slipknot) are to REAL metal bands (like Iron Maiden and Exodus) what Pop-Punk bands (like Blink 182 and Simple Plan) are to REAL punk bands (like TSOL and Black Flag): a fucking corporate bastardization, simplified and watered-down to appeal to a larger market that has no idea what the meaning of the style even is. No, Sabbath really couldn't be. Ozzy did fucked up shit because he was playing to the stereotypes of rock n' roll, and constantly on a vast array of drugs. Sabbath, MUSICALLY, defined heavy metal: heavy distortion, dissonance, an overall sense of power in musical form, and doom. Heavy metal is meant to reflect the darker aspects of society as a whole, not "waah, my daddy raped me when I was 10 so now I'm scared of the dark." And, again, I fucking love Rob Zombie. Doesn't make his solo work metal, though. Some of it is metal (funny how you say "Demonoid Phenomenon," one of his weakest songs, and fail to mention killer tracks like "Superbeast," "American Nightmare," and even his latest single "American Witch"). Yeah, you are. You'd prolly prefer Soulfly's second album over Sepultura's classic Schizophrenia, too. Now, onto your second post... No, you said "than the bands" that are coming out today. Name me one band - one fucking band - that could fall into the nu-metal category that newer bands like Mastodon, High On Fire, or even Unearth aren't better than. Say what you will about Unearth, but Buz can fucking SHRED on guitar, and Trevor writes some damn decent lyrics. Much better than your generic Marilyn Manson "I do coke and worship Satan, but I'm not such a bad guy" message with faux-fascist overtones just to get a rise out of the religious right. And Mastodon...FUCK. If there's a single band you even listen to on a regular basis that can hold Mastodon's collective pubic hairs then I'd like to hear them. No. Nu-metal was the forerunner to today's "metal," or as I and a lot of others call it, fashioncore. Whiny, generic, and it sounds like a bunch of riffs pasted together with no rhyme or reason just to finish the song. I couldn't tell any nu-metal band apart from the other without seeing their pictures, and even then I saw fishnet shirts, poorly dyed black and purple hair (often long braids or short spikes), and your standard black Hot Topic faux-bondage pants with Doc Martens. Really? Which one? Because The Art of Balance sucked, the second half of Of One Blood lacks energy and drive, and Somber Eyes to the Sky suffers from terrible production. Listen to The War Within from start to finish and you'll see why Shadows Fall are the only young band that a lot of old-timers actually fucking respect. Somebody better go tell Exodus that, since they just released two of their best albums in the last couple of years. Somebody better go tell Slayer that, who are headlining the biggest metal tour in the States this year. Somebody better tell The Haunted that, since, you know, they're one of the most widely-known "newer" metal bands (and yeah, fucky, there's a reason "newer" is in quotes, so do some research). And as for SOD and Kreator and all of those other old-school thrash bands that are making somewhat of a comeback, even if it is post-mortem? Who the fuck needs them!? You're right, we don't. Fuck off, Susperia! Fuck you for trying to add some of that amazing black metal ambience to thrash metal! Eat shit, Darkest Hour, for even fucking THINKING you could do some 7-minute long heavy thrash-influenced epics! Hey, Bitchslicer, go lick your mother's taint! You too, Despotic Robot, we don't need your fucking jazzy improv and grindcore insanity to be added to thrash metal! Every Time I Die is pretty good. I'm surprised you like them. Dillinger Escape Plan, though, is atrocious. If you like a band that just tries to fit as many annoying riffs into one song as possible, go ahead and listen to them. They're talented, though, I can't take that away from them, but they're music sorta, you know...sucks. Are you seeing my point yet, J0bber? Thus far you have proven to know about 5% as much about metal as a style as I do...and I'm one of the LESS KNOWLEDGABLE posters here when it comes to heavy metal.

And Vinnie Paul referred to Nirvana as a metal band. Drummer of Pantera/Damageplan/Rebel Meets Rebel. Does that make Nirvana metal? No, because they weren't musically metal. Neither was Marilyn Manson. Oh, and you really should never take Ozzy's opinion on anything. The man's always been a blithering fool. Iommi and Butler defined metal, not Ozzy.

No, Derrick's really doesn't. When Max and Igor split up, all of the magic of Sepultura died. It's kinda sad that after three Soulfly albums they have surpasses what Sepultura has become. Sepultura went from having excellent-but-simple riffs and amazing tribal drumming to having...well...lame riffs and excellent tribal drumming. I really wish Max and Igor would just kiss and make up. The brothers Cavalera were mint together. And no, it's not because you put "creative metal bands." Rob Zombie: Borderline as I'd, personally, say a lot of his songs are metal, but you cannot fucking listen to The Sinister Urge and go "that's a metal album." If you did, you'd have to then call everything Alice Cooper has done heavy metal, since...well...I love Rob Zombie to death, he's one of my idols, but he's had a handful of metal songs since leaving Sean and J to fend for themselves. Marilyn Manson: NOT FUCKING METAL. Again, you'd have to call Alice Cooper metal, which he's not. He's VERY borderline and had the metal attitude back in the day, but he's NOT METAL. Manson is straight-up shock rock. Fuck, The Dickies and The Plasmatics - legendary punk bands - are more metal than Manson could ever dream of being. Coal Chamber: Nu-metal bullshit. They're like KoRn...only with less whining and more screaming. Now, if you put Dez's new band, that piece of shit pseudo-death band he has that sounds identical to Otep (who sounds identical to early Kittie before any of them knew how to play) who I forget the name of, then it'd be acceptable since they at least, you know, play METAL. Mushroomhead and Slipknot are pushing it. I still say Slipknot has more in common with hardcore than it does metal, but Joey's Lombardo-style drumming might make them more metal than hardcore. Mushroomhead, though...yeah, I'll call 'em metal since Faith No More are considered metal. But really...COAL CHAMBER?! MARILYN FUCKING MANSON!? You might as well have just said Linkin Park and KoRn, dude.

Hrmmmm...intro's decent...sounds like an 8-minute long version of "Fuel" after the intro, though. Though the more I listen to 80's Metallica, the less I like it. Sad, since that's what I used to consider the epitome of metal.

I'm a firm believer that Motörhead's cover "Enter Sandman" beats the fuck out of the original. Ditto for their cover of "Louie, Louie" (though, to be fair, they covered the more popular cover).

Re: Rob remaking Halloween... I'm somewhat excited about this. House... showed a hell of a lot of promise, and The Devil's Rejects is practically the perfect homage to 70's grindhouse exploitation. Rob grew up on these movies and is very critical of both himself and everything horror, so if anybody can remake a classic it's him. Of course, I also said Dave Parker could prolly write a good zombie movie since he idolizes Romero and Fulci, and then we got House of the Dead.

I'm becoming a bigger geek about thrash (both the metal and hardcore styles) and horrorpunk than I ever thought I'd be. ...yeah, that's about it. Oh, and terrible fucking jokes. Oftentimes either the ludicrously lame, the excessively overthought, or the flat-out poor racist comment. I find myself laughing when I drive by a black or an Asian student at the local college (which makes up 80% or so of the student body, I'd say) and mutter "nigger" or "GOOKS, BLOODY GOOKS" (to the tune of "Roots Bloody Roots" by Sepultura), and that makes me die a little inside.

But feminazis SHOULD be oppressed. Anybody that preaches about equality and then demands preferential treatment and raises a huge fuss that could possibly bring bad attention to whatever company or branch or whatever they're throwing a hissyfit over whenever something doesn't go their way SHOULD be pushed down. RE: female bosses Most of the ones I've had were fucking terrible, whereas all of the guy bosses I've had were people I'd prolly go out and have a few beers with. My female bosses were, more often than not, rude and incessantly mean to every employee unless they wanted some of their work done for them and were going to ask one of us to do it. I'm not saying women are poor managers/bosses/whatever, though. I'm saying that people suck.

I'll have to say that SOD's Speak English Or LIVE is quite good. A shitload of footage besides just the concert in '92 (including quite a bit of old footage from The Ritz during the tour to promote Speak English Or Die), and in-between every few songs are interviews with Scott and Charlie and then Billy and Dan. Billy is pretty funny during his interviews, too, but it's his usual profane and childish sense of humor. Also, the "looking back" interview with the band and the producer of Speak English Or Die isn't that bad. Also, the recording sessions of Bigger Than The Devil are featured, and Billy and Dan steal the show.

...you'll what? Shoot my horse?! WHAT DID PRINCE STALIANT EVER DO TO YOU!? And Slay, you already know I don't care much for doom metal. I can only think of two British metal bands that I don't mind listening to, Akercocke and Plague, and neither of them are too good. Send More Paramedics is good for a laugh and for a bunch of people trying to be Slayer and not realizing what made Slayer good, but alas. The statement still stands about British bands.

...but are they? Nirvana wrote a bunch of similar-sounding shitty songs and got big because American youths are, and always have been, a bunch of pussies.

Sepultura - Schizophrenia Finally got what many call one of THE essential death metal albums ever made. Really into Sepultura lately, so I figured I'd stick to as much Max-era as possible since post-Max is just...lame. Darkest Hour - So Sedated, So Secure and Undoing Ruin Been on a big Darkest Hour kick lately, too. Lovin' that modern thrash edge, and there's so much chaos and yet THOUGHT put into the music that it hits me in the balls and refuses to stop.

I like this concept. Shadows Fall 1. The War Within Say what you will, but the flow between songs is the best they've ever done as just when you think there's a lowpoint the next song burts into your head. It closes with "Those Who Cannot Speak," which feels like it should be a few minutes longer (that epic feel, you know), and a lot of the songs most people know by them are on this one. "What Drives The Weak," "Inspiration on Demand," "Enlightened by the Cold," "The Power of I and I" (which has one of my favorite drum rolls in metal history)...all here. 2. Of One Blood Their major label debut back in 2000. The first album with Brian on vocals, and though his singing isn't as good as Phil's, it fits the music better in an odd way. The first half of the album is just BAM-BAM-BAM: heavy, fast, melodic, and catchy. The first three songs are anthems through-and-through, whereas the latter half of the album slumps. "To Ashes" and "Serenity" make the last three tracks worthwhile (in all honesty, I don't even remember what track 9 is, since those two are tracks 8 and 10 respectively), so definitely a good debut for the local heroes. 3. Somber Eyes to the Sky Perhaps their most METAL album. Almost all of the songs on this one sound as though In Flame or another Gothenburg band were recording them, and the poor production doesn't hide any of Jon or Matt's talent. The instrumental, "Lead Me Home," is one I used to have people listen to when they thought that Shadows Fall was just another one of those "scream into the mic and play fast" metal bands. It's just beautiful music through-and-through. The original version of "To Ashes" is on here, and though I feel the Of One Blood version is better, this one's still worth listening to. "Somber Angel" and "Suffer The Season" are good, solid metal tracks, and "Pure" is just such a good song that it's almost impossible to not love it. "Revel in My Loss," another song that was redone for Of One Blood, sounds better on this disc than on the major label debut, and that's because Phil's voice fit the flow of the music better than Brian's did. 4. The Art of Balance Doesn't hold up well at all after repeated listens. "Idle Hands" is basically just a generic metalcore version of Metallica's "Battery," and though "Thoughts Without Words" was overplayed on metal shows all the time it's still a damn decent track. I dig the title track and "A Fire in Babylon," as well as the two instrumentals, "Casting Shade" and "Prelude to Disaster," and "Stepping Outside the Circle" is a goodie. The whole album just seems a little overproduced and simple, though, which was the complete opposite of what Somber and Of One Blood were.

Never been a big Anthrax fan, myself. SOD > Anthrax. But yeah. Bush > Belladonna. Fuck 'em all for bringing Belladonna back for anything more than a nostalgia trip.

Okay...to those of you posting sarcastic replies: good. Cool. Funny. We get it. To those of you (J0BBER) who does not understand what a fucking metal band is: PISS. OFF. And with that said...no hardcore, no punk, no cock rock, no 70's arena rock bullshit...just metal... Slayer Iron Maiden Black Sabbath Sepultura (w/ Max) Cannibal Corpse Shadows Fall Motörhead White Zombie Pantera Acid Bath

I'm not. I have little doubt that Evan WOULD fucking beat the piss out of Lars, whereas Scott would probably just make fun of him and go "hey, remember when I used to have lend you money?"

VOCALS: I'd have vocal duties shared by my favorite frontman, Billy Milano (S.O.D., M.O.D.), and one of my favorite flat-out singers, Cyrus (Susperia). RHYTHM GUITAR: Hrmmm...a toughy, but I'll say that Matt Bachand (Shadows Fall) could pull off some nice stuff. LEAD GUITAR: This is gonna be a difficult one...but I've been really digging everything Devin Townsend (Strapping Young Lad, The Devin Townsend Band) has been doing lately. BASS: Hrmmm...be a true Fiend, or actually care about some musical quality instead of just writing good catchy tunes...I'll let my Fiend side show and say Jerry Only (The Misfits). DRUMS: This is what's going to make this band really stand out from most other heavy bands. I could go simple and just pick one of the many blast-beat driven, double-kick loving assholes in the myriad of thrash and death bands out there...or I could go with an innovator that helped make his band stand out even more than they already did. Dave Lombardo (Slayer), step on up.

I think they should've stopped after part 2, personally. The first one's pretty fucking overrated, and the rest of 'em seem to have some good plots and decent pacing but just suffer from a lack of overall quality. Mmmmmm...Tromeo & Juliet 2-disc, you say? I'm so fucking there. Got Terror Firmer and Citizen Toxie 2-disc sets already, so now I can see the first "good" Troma flick on digital quality. Definitely need to check out Cemetery Man and From Beyond as well.

There's just no need to be knocking Goosebumps. The Haunted School fucking owns you and you know it. Static Age is the album to start with, right? It was originally suppose to be their debut before it got shevled during the great punk backlash of the late 70s. I personally think it's their best and it's probably a good idea to start with it. Stay clear of the overpriced collections as most of the songs feature botched mixes. Ehhh...yeah, I'd have to agree. It's either Static Age or Earth AD, but the latter is definitely not what you think of when you think of The Misfits. It's practically a hardcore album, since that was recorded and released close to the end of the Danzig-era when Jerry and Glenn had a huge falling out. So all of that resentment just built up and unleashed itself musically. Which brings me to the belief that discomfort in a band is what produces quality music. When everybody gets along just enough to come to a conclusion on songs, that's when magic happens. Aye. Danzig's sincerity in his singing has always been something I really dug about him. Too bad his solo career has been pretty lame, for the most part.

Well then. My b. Note how you didn't disagree with anything else I said. Oh, and fuck England. They used to give us amazing bands of all styles - most of the original punk movement, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, The Who, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath - but...what the fuck? I haven't heard an actually above-average band from England to have emerged since the late 80's. Please, somebody name me one. And no "indie rock" crap like the Arctic Monkeys, because they suck and you all know it but fail to acknowledge it. I really can't think of a single one. Cradle of Filth? Cradle of fucking Filth!?

Why? Because most of the songs by three of my favorites bands fall under the criteria of being shorter than 2:30?

Yeah, really. The Claw Hold relied on pressure points, though I concur it's a pretty weak visual. I'll never, EVER say that The Worm was a terrible finisher, considering it's a fucking KARATE CHOP TO THE THROAT, which could crush your larynx.

Here's a hint: If there's a hard rock group from the States that's mainstream and brand new? They've ripped off a fucking plethora of bands. Stuck Mojo should've been huge in the mid-to-late 90's with the likes of Rage Against The Machine, 311, KoRn, Limp Bizkit, and Kid Rock when he was still doing the rap/rock thing. Why? Because they formed in 1991 as a funk/metal band, turned into a rap/hardcore band in 1993, and basically was doing the whole rapcore/raprock/rapmetal/whateverthefuckyouwannacallit-core thing before ANY of these bands were. Save for maybe 311, but that's besides the point. So why didn't they succeed? Well, they're from the South and revel in the fact, so there's the "fucking redneck" stigmata (even though the frontman, Bonz, is black). The solo's were crazy at best and melodically fitting at worst (thanks to Rich Ward being a more underground, heavier version of Zakk Wylde in terms of well laid-out metal songwriting). The drumming was fast and powerful but not too complicated (Bud relied mostly on double-kick and a switchoff of eighth and quarter note snare hits, better work than most bands that garner even the slightest mainstream attention could possibly muster). And the basslines were often groovey and oddly a great accomplice to the guitar riffs (the best ones done by Corey Lowery, brother of Sevendust's Clint Lowery). Speaking of which...fuck Sevendust. They took Stuck Mojo's sound and format (black frontman, hard-hitting drums and groove-laden guitar-driven metal/hard rock), erased the funk and rap influences, and just commercialized the whole fucking thing. Listen to Sevendust's debut and then listen to Stuck Mojo's Declaration of a Headhunter (true, a few years later, but Mojo was primarily touring between '97 and 2k). They sound so similar it hurts. Yeah. Every band you've heard ripped somebody else off, so hey. Mojo ripped off Anthrax and Public Enemy (in fact, I'm surprised they never covered that song, especially since Rich Ward lives for 80's metal).