Corey_Lazarus

Q: What do you call a limping monkey? A: A Gimpanzee. Q: Why don't Scotsmen wear underwear beneath their kilts? A: Because they love their FREEEEEEDOMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!! A drunk guy walks into a pub. He walks up to the bar, sits down, and asks the bartender for a beer. The bartender goes "sorry, sir, you've had enough." The drunk guy, obviously annoyed, gets up and leaves the bar. He goes around the corner and uses the side entrance to the same pub, walking up to the bartender and asking for a beer. The bartender says "sorry, buddy, you've had enough." So the man, even more disgruntled now, gets up and walks out the side door. He walks around the corner to the back of the building and uses the rear entrance, sitting down on a stool at the other side of the bar. He asks the bartender for a beer, and the bartender goes "look, mac, you've had enough already." So the drunk man looks at the bartender, and goes "motherfucker, how many bars DO you work at?" Q: What would Marilyn Monroe be doing right now if she were alive? A: Clawing at the inside of her coffin. Q: Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead. Q: Why'd the baby fall out of the tree? A: Because it was stapled to the monkey.

Unholy Alliance Tour Slayer, Children of Bodom, Mastodon June 17th in Lowell, MA Stuck Mojo June 19th in Portland, ME ((MAYBE!!! I need to find somebody to go with me.)) The Misfits June 23rd in Somerville, MA Sounds of the Underground '06 Cannibal Corpse, GWAR, The Black Dahlia Murder July 14th in Mansfield, MA

Thus, legendary. There would be no Hatebreed if not for Biohazard. That, and Evan Seinfeld is one of the few members of a hardcore band that SCREAMS "I'll beat your fucking ass" just by the way he looks. For those that haven't seen the show and don't know what Evan Seinfeld looks like, he played Jaz Hoyt on HBO's "Oz." The psychotic biker gang member.

hahahahahaha...I have a scar on the back of my left elbow from my buddy Crawford throwing me onto the pavement in a parking lot for singing the melody of "The Final Countdown" for a solid 10 minutes. It's my best weapon against him in the annoyance game: Europe and Motley Crue. ...Shit, now I have "The Final Countdown" stuck in my head. You fucker.

Better than the White Stripes, but that doesn't say much at all.

But being the focal point of an entire scene for nearly a decade DOES qualify one as legendary. That's also why Wargasm are considered Boston thrash legends: they were the focal point of the underground metal scene in Boston for 10 years. Yeah, I'd definitely consider Biohazard legendary. Biohazard, Madball, Slap Shot. These bands influenced Hatebreed, who thus influenced modern-day hardcore giants Bury Your Dead, Throwdown, and Terror. Basically, if you listen to hardcore? You know Biohazard's contribution. Bigger contribution than Husker Du to the style, and yet Husker Du is more well-known. Not as big a contribution as Bad Brains or Black Flag, maybe not even as much as Toxic Narcotic, but they were a huge part of the New York Hardcore scene for years.

I wish I could find a transcript of it, but the one Jericho did in late April/early May of '98 after JJ Dillon signed Jericho/Malenko for SlamBoree with the stipulation that Malenko couldn't touch Jericho until the PPV. I just remember that whole skit being amazing, and it ending with Jericho talking about how hard it was for Malenko's dad to be on the road when he and his brother were growing up, being away from his family...from his wife. And then how hard it must have been for his mother to raise two boys by herself, how she yearned for her husband...for the touch of a man. And it ended with: Jericho: "And have you ever noticed...how you and your brother...LOOK ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ALIKE?!"

The commercial I saw had Evan decking Bach and Bach going DOWN. Somehow, the bassist/frontman for a legendary hardcore band (Evan Seinfeld of Biohazard) just doesn't fit this mold. Ian's sold his soul a fucking million times (SOD > Anthrax, always and forever), Nugent is nuts, Bach's a fucking prick with less talent than he thinks he is, and Bonham...I got nothing bad to say about Bonham. So yeah. I can't see myself liking whatever music they come up with.

I got "Scatman" stuck in my girlfriend's head last night just by mentioning it. 'Twas fun. I kinda/sorta got "Dread and the Fugitive Mind" by Megadeth stuck in my head, but that'll go away once I hit the road to go to work.

See, I hated it when I first saw it. I didn't understand a single thing or how this happened and why that happened, etc. Then again my girlfriend was talking to me through half of it, and she knows I hate when people talk during movies, but alas. A lot of people in MA like it because it's our own action flick. Filmed in Boston, Troy Duffy (writer/director) is from New England...it's basically our movie. I've been to a lot of the places where the McManus brothers go, so it's always fun to point out "this is the hotel where they shot that Russian bastard." That...yeah, I don't really know why people flat-out love this movie either. I don't even know why I really like it, but I have the urge to watch it now.

Not really a customer per se, but a customer of a customer. I had to go into Boston this afternoon to deliver 8 boxes of Cat 6 Plenum White and 12 boxes of Cat 5e Plenum Blue (for the few of you that know what that is, you know how fucking HEAVY Cat 6 boxes, especially from Molex, are), plus some assorted wall-mounts and tie-wraps and other little goodies for cabling purposes. First of all, I get lost trying to get to the address (little hint: Federal Street is off of High Street, so your best bet is 93-N, take Exit 18 towards South Station and onto Atlantic Avenue, and stay in the left-middle lane until the High Street turn around the Big Dig comes up, which is right before the parking garage to the New England Aquarium) and wind up having to circle around Boston via some street I don't even know the name of and then take I-90 West onto 95 South all the way down to the 95/93 split, all in heavy traffic with rain up the ass, so that took about 45 minutes. So I find the place, start bringing my stuff in...and the security guard stops me just before I walk onto the elevator. He was at the desk for the 2 minutes it took me to open the two front doors and lug the box of Cat 5e in each hand from the doors to the elevators, watching me the whole time, and he chooses to stop me just as I"m about to go to the place I'm delivering to. Security: "Uhhh...where you going with those?" Me: "[company name]." Security: "Oh, well that's on the 7th floor. You'll have to sign in, though, and we're not supposed to accept deliveries during business hours. How many more trips do you think it'll take?" Me: "If they have a dolly or a bucket up there it'll only take another trip or two." Security: "Okay. 7th floor." You know, guy's just doing his job. No qualms. Wants to make sure nobody that isn't expected or authorized is entering the building to possibly fuck up some company. So I get to the 7th floor and put down the two boxes, find somebody who knows what the fuck they're talking about when it comes to whoever's doing data/voice wiring for them, and he gives me this long spiel about how the company doing the work wasn't starting until TOMORROW around noon or so. I tell him that the man who orders supplies for his company and oftentimes is out in the field doing work told us he needed them this afternoon, and he tells me that the building's security policy is that no deliveries are made during business hours. I find a bucket and go back down the elevator, and the security guard's supervisor is waiting for me after I go out of the building (he was watching me the whole time, including my several failed attempts to push the bucket outside through the small doorways before my success) and put as much as I can into bucket. I hit the button to call the elevator, and he pulls the bucket out of the elevator when I load it halfway in. Supervisor: "Who is this for?" Me: "[company name] on the 7th floor." Supervisor: "Because we're not supposed to have any deliveries, ANY, during business hours." Me: "Yeah, I was told that, but I've just been stuck in traffic for the last hour and a half trying to get here because we were told that this stuff needed to be here this afternoon." Supervisor: "...ummm...how many more trips do you think it'll be?" By now, had all but, say, 5 boxes of Cat 5e and the box of assorted shit loaded up, making the bucket weigh upwards of 500 pounds I'd say, and I tell him I just need one more trip. He shrugs me off, says "I'll have to talk with [company name]" and walks away. Get back down after unloading all of that, and the security guard at the desk politely says "I'm sorry, but my supervisor wants you to sign in before you go back up." I tell him it's alright because he's just doing his job - which is the truth, he seemed like a nice enough guy - and load up the last of the cable and goodies. Sign in, bring it up, unload, and go back down the elevator after taking the BIGGEST PISS...of that hour. I actually pissed myself a little earlier in the day because of 2 medium iced coffees and a large glass of milk I had with my breakfast, but hey. But it's just fucking absurd that my company's customer would tell us - at the last minute, no less (they were supposed to let us know when they needed it by 9:30 AM...and didn't let us know until about quarter past 1) - to bring it today when the company they're doing work for undoubtedly had to have told them that the building doesn't want any deliveries during business hours. Meh, not too interesting a story, but I was pissed off. Didn't leave work until around 5 (I'm usually out between 3:30 and 4), was fucking BEAT when I got home, and yeah. It's amazing I'm still awake. Toss my salad, ho's~.

Not me, but my friend Sarah: We both worked at the Bob's Store in our town. For those that don't know, Bob's Store is a pretty decent-sized chain of retail stores geared towards middle-aged men (mostly working-class, as their highest selling items were workboots and Carhartt and Dickie's coats and such) and teenage girls. Odd combination, I know. I didn't have to deal with customers too often since I worked shipping/receiving out back, but my friend Sarah was on the floor from 6 at night until close (usually 9:30), and then refilled the floor with merchandise from the truck that afternoon until midnight. So Sarah's doing markdown's one morning (she often had to work 6pm-midnight and then come in bright and early at 8am the next day, sometimes even 6am when I worked) in the women's section, putting on new pricetags and suchs, and this lady is right next to her. Practically touching her. She's coughing ONTO Sarah to get her to move. So Sarah, the primary reason for my love of underground hardcore, started couhing back onto her. I cracked up when she told me about it that night over a few drinks.

Or just have a bunch of the ECW guys get together, a la Raw Is ECW (the one time in the InVasion that was amazingly enjoyable), and cut some violent anti-WWE promo's about how they bled for over a decade to get noticed and when they finally did their feet were cut out from under them due to the jealousy of Vinnie Mac. BAM! You turn ECW vs. WWE into a version of Austin vs. McMahon with the working-class wrestlers (the ECW wrestlers) vs. the posh, stylized, pampered wrestlers (the WWE wrestlers). The initial response will be pro-WWE, I have little doubt, but give the ECW guys time to shine? And voila: new moneymaker.

That song is pretty much made to worsen one's life to the point of suicide. I had Def Leppard stuck in my head this morning because I read something about how lame acid washed and torn jeans were...and now I got that fucking Buckcherry song. Thanks, Rant. You ruined my spaghetti.

A shitload of The Misfits, random underground thrash/hardcore bands (two from North Carolina, two from Mass), perhaps some Gregorian Chant, and... ...I'M THE SCATMAN!!!!!!!!

That is also an acceptable answer.

He did. He bought WCW and a good portion of its contracts.

Lord knows I can attest to the truth in Rant's words. Spent the night at my girl's last night. Pizza, raunchy sex, Phantasm, sleep. Woke up with the all-encompassing urge to buy an MP3 player, did so, and spent 2 hours trying to figure out how to put music on it. Slapped myself in the head an hour ago when I realized I had to select the folder it was going in on my player. Posted this. Listening to a nice combo of SOD, Zombie Apocalypse, The Misfits, Slayer, and Cannibal Corpse. Right now it's "TV Casualty" by The Misfits. Gonna grab a snack or a drink and head to bed.

Yeah. He means "emocore" or "fashioncore" kids. Hardcore kids will just punch you in the face and then have their friends gang around and stomp on you while rambling on about how much they love Hatebreed and how Black Flag weren't REALLY hardcore but just a punk band that had a lot of hardcore kids as fans.

Sweet. Bellingham Regal, here I come!

Staying home on a drinking night is fucking lame.

Eh...SOAD fans are separated into the intelligent and the completely moronic. The intelligent ones tend to like them for their randomness, as any song could go from beautiful acoustic guitar to some hardcore thrashing in an instant, and how Serj often just blabbers on about nonsense and sexual innuendo's. ...then there's the moronic ones, the ones that feel there's a deeper meaning to everything and agree with Darian in that the US is a fascist nation. These fucking kids try to sound smart and end up sounding entirely foolish. THOSE are the ones I hate. Trapt fans. Similar fanbase to Linkin Park, but much smaller and a little more diehard. They also love Shinedown and Seether purely for the singers (who, admittedly, aren't that bad), which is ironic considering how annoying of a voice Trapt's singer has.

How was Silent Hill a piece of shit? It wasn't some amazing masterpiece of horror, but it wasn't BAD. Beats the fuck out of most horror movies released in the theater (especially those pieces of shit Hide & Seek and Darkness).

You should've shit on his Hush Puppies.

Examples of Zach being a toolbag? Alrighty... -His lyrics that talk nonstop about how terrible a place America is. (I'm not a fan of the "love it or leave it" phrase, but if he hates it so much...why not move to Canada or some other socialist society?) -His complaints about Mexico raising the price of college education. (It's higher learning, and it's not free. Yeah, poor Mexican kids can't afford it...just like everywhere else in the world.) -"FREE MUMIA." (Mumia was a fucking scumbag copkiller.) -The motherfucker needs to take the cottonballs out of his mouth. (Seriously. That's the most annoying part of RATM: Zach's voice.)