Corey_Lazarus

I knew that'd be the reaction. So I have Mastodon's "Colony of Birchmen" stuck in my head. What do you have stuck in yours?

Because it's fucking boring. Dustin's just phoning it in, the gimmick itself LOOKS too much like Goldust for anybody to really dig into it, and the matches he's been involved in have been awful. See, I can dig Rellik - solid look, even with the Roman skirt thing - but the fact that he loses every match sucks, but Black Reign...blah. Boring shit to the nth degree.

I wonder if Francoise Hardy has ever done a flip off of a 20-foot ladder, BAH GAWD~!

Full. It's worth every cent of the $10 you'll spend if you like yourself some sci-fi violence. There's a lot of good and a decent amount of bad, but the good is SO good that you'll enjoy it thoroughly. Unfortunately, by now you'll probably only be able to see it in a $3 theater...

I really thought (in 1999) that by 2003, ECW would be the #1 promotion. I thought Foley was going to win at WM 2000 and set up a one-month tournament for the WWF Title, culminating in HHH/Rock at Backlash (which, realistically, could have happened). I thought TNA would be the #1 promotion by 2006 (I thought this during their first year, when the shows were compelling enough and the wrestling was great). I thought Raven was going to beat Goldberg the Nitro after Spring Stampede '98 to retain the US Heavyweight title he just won off DDP the night before.

You know you're having a great new year when your fanbase doesn't give two flying fucks about your money-maker shows! Remember how busy all of these threads were back in the weekly-PPV days? 3-4 pages, easy, usually with Dames and bps giving PBP (then later myself), and a bunch of people just coming in to check out how the show is going. Now that TNA is "better" than it was then, nobody orders the shows, nobody watches Impact and remembers it, and nobody cares enough to check out on-going results online. Pity. They used to have so much potential...

K-Kill? Kwik Killa? Kwik Killa Krush, and he hates himself?

1. Eddie Edwards. Kid's got a great look, is a solid worker, and has the best years of his career ahead of him. I could see him being like a Jericho if TNA were to last another few years: get a lot of international work done via NOAH, being a decent-sized name in some of the bigger US indies (PWG and RoH specifically, since he's already a draw in the New England indies), then working for TNA and being popular but not really breaking the glass ceiling. He'll come to WWE in the next 6-8 years, and achieve a lot of upper-card success before having a short run in the main event. 2. Randy Orton. Hear me out! I could see him falling back down the card, possibly even being released, due to attitude and/or Wellness problems, and then hit the international scene to try to gain some fame back after Hollywood attempts fail. He gets better in the ring, more natural on the mic, and then signs a new deal with WWE, comes back to an immediate push, and this time it clicks instantly. 3. Ron "The Truth" Killings. He's proven in TNA that when he's given a reason to actually work, he can WORK. He's incredibly charismatic, has a great look, CAN ACTUALLY RAP (thus a reason why he could feud with Cena), and has enough flash and in-ring charisma where he can cover up his technical deficiencies. That...and he hates TNA. If even for just the reason that WWE could have somebody who voluntarily left TNA to shoot on them and tell all the boys in the back considering leaving that it's not worth it.

The "overrated punk-but-not-really" kick.

Here's how: trying too hard to get fans jaded by the failures of past SvR games and the overall rise in popularity of Fire Pro State-side while also focusing too much on making it easy to play by non-hardcore wrestling gamers. I picked up No Mercy the other day for my nephew's b-day, we played a few matches, and it was amazing. Took me half a match to get used to the controls again after playing SvR'06 for so long, but once I did...beautiful. We did a Triple Threat match that lasted over 25 minutes, and not once was it boring. Exciting shit for the whole match. So why can't SvR'08 be like this? They take out the amount of moves you can actually do (I liked the inclusion of the Ultimate Control grapples in '07, but get rid of 8 moves AND 2 UC grapples to make it easier to pull two off?), take out many moves you could choose, limit the moves you can do even moreso than '07 did by weight/fighting style (ie. a heavyweight can't do ANY martial arts moves in '07, and nobody over Light Heavy can be a submission specialist in '08, which makes NO sense), and make it so that the finishers don't really do much unless you're HHH or Batista. Let's count the number of possible moves your character could perform in '06, '07, and now in '08. '06: 25 front grapples, 9 standing strikes (including 3 combo strikes), 10 rear grapples, 10 corner grapples (front and rear), 2 running grapples, 3 opponent-rebound grapples, 6 ground grapples, 4 running strikes (including 2 corner-special ones), 1 rebound strike, 9 opp-down attacks (1 rebound, 2 running, 3 standing, 3 off-the-top), 4 opp-standing flying attacks (2 off-the-top, 1 running-to-outside, 1 by-the-ropes to outside), and 5 finishers (2 standard, 2 chair-assisted, 1 clean/dirty specific - either stealing opponent's or Super Dirty). That's 88 moves, and I think I left a couple out (I'm not counting HiaC or area-specific attacks). '07: 9 standing strikes (including 3 combo strikes), 20 front grapples (including 4 quick grapples), 12 Ultimate Control grapples (4 available positions, and an average of 3 moves per position), 8 rear grapples, 8 corner grapples (front and rear), 2 running grapples, 2 opponent-rebound grapples, 6 ground grapples, 4 running strikes (including 2 corner-special ones), 1 rebound strikes, 9 opp-down attacks (1 rebound, 2 running, 3 standing, 3 off-the-top), 4 opp-standing flying attacks (2 off-the-top, 1 running-to-outside, 1 by-the-ropes to outside), and 5 finishers (2 standard, 2 chair-assisted, and 1 clean/dirty specific - either stealing opponent's or Super Dirty). That's also 88, but feels like less due to the Ultimate Control grapples not being of much use outside of two of them. Again, not including area-specific moves, though I will say that if I did, '07 would have the most available moves, seeing as how you could slam an opponent's head against the posts, steps, ring apron, etc. '08: 8 standing strikes (including 3 combo strikes), 12 front grapples (including 4 quick grapples), 6 Ultimate Control grapples (2 available positions, and an average of 3 moves per position), 8 rear grapples, 8 corner grapples (front and rear), 2 running grapples, 2 opponent-rebound grapples, 6 ground grapples, 4 running strikes (including 2 corner-special ones), 1 rebound strike, 9 opp-down attacks (1 rebound, 2 running, 3 standing, 3 off-the-top), 4 opp-standing flying attacks (2 off-the-top, 1 running-to-outside, 1 by-the-ropes to outside), and 4 finishers (2 standard, 2 weapon-assisted). That's 74. Only 14 less, but those 14 helped flesh out a moveset enough to warrant being included.

Been listening to a decent amount of death and grindcore (Cannibal Corpse, Dying Fetus, Phobia, Anal Cunt) for the last year or so, and also into some nerdcore and gangsta rap (MC Lars and MC Frontalot for nerdcore, the Death Row guys for gangsta) lately due to my coworker being a HUGE rap fan (specifically Wu-Tang and the old Death Row line-up). I should probably be listening to some more groove-oriented metal/hardcore, like more Pantera, Pro-Pain, Obituary, etc. because that's what my band wants to play (the more groove-heavy stuff), but meh. Coming out of a huge 2-year-long thrash kick and getting more into music that builds into something more than just screaming about hating people and getting drunk.

White Zombie - Make Them Die Slowly WZ's third LP, and their last independent release before being signed to Geffen and releasing the breakthrough La Sexorcisto album. I've said it before and I'll say it again: the best White Zombie album was their last, Astro-Creep, but this is a nice piece of history for one of rock's biggest stars of the last 10 years. Plenty of groove, and a little more thrash/speed metal-y than what one usually expects from White/Rob Zombie. Solid album, but not great.

Say what you will about '06 and all its flaws, but it's still better than this piece of shit. The only two SmackDown games I got on the day they came out - SvR and SvR '08 - have been among the worst in the series. I can't even play '08 anymore due to how superior '06 is, and doing 2-player GM mode in '07 to try to cheat it and win GMotY to get unlimited EXP points is a bitch and a half. I may get Fire Pro Returns, but the one version of Fire Pro I've played (the first Fire Pro Advanced for the GBA) was underwhelming. Not too big a fan of the engine since strikes are basically made useless, and sometimes I like to be able to get close to an opponent in a game and just wail away. I still wish EA would make a game with Aki similar to Def Jam: FFNY that had nothing but fake wrestlers in a variety of rings and arenas. That could prove entertaining, considering the FFNY Aki engine was pretty deep, and could be played as either a straight-up fighting game or a straight-up wrestling game.

EDIT: Double-post of DOOM!

This movie is fucking intense. The last 30-45 minutes are just non-stop action, and reminded me a lot of the scene in Aliens when they're using the airducts to escape. Pro's: -Creature design. Much better than the first AVP, which had aliens with 25-foot tails (THE FUCK?!), Predators that looked too bulky to even move, and a queen that was entirely CGI and looked TOO big. -Surprise factor. Outside of a few kills in the beginning, once the shit hits you don't know who's dead and who's alive by the end. -Nods to past movies. The army chick says "get to the chopper," a direct quote from Ahnuld in the first Predator. And during a face-off between the Predator and the Predalien, the Predalien tries to use its inner-mouth to kill the Predator, but the Predator constantly moves his head from side-to-side to avoid it, just like Ripley did during the Loader/Queen fight at the end of Aliens. -Set-up to future movies. The first AVP had Bishop Weyland - a nod to the company in the Alien flicks, as well as the series of droids represented in the second and third movies - as an aging, diseased businessman who wanted the adventure of discovering something ancient. This one has Ms. Yutani - another nod to Weyland/Yutani Corporation from the Alien flicks - at the end, -Direction (outside of Predator/Predalien fights). For the Brothers Strause, and I believe this is their first full-length, they did a fucking nice job. Much better overall direction than the first AVP, and much better than A:R and even P2 (outside of P2's first scene, that is). They cut away right when they needed to, and stayed with it just long enough for people to see what happens. They stayed with the gore just enough, and cut away to leave certain deaths more to the imagination, which worked wonderfully. -Introduction of Predator weaponry. I'm not even gonna use the spoiler tag here, because it's not that important. After the first Predator, each following one has introduced a weapon or two (or more) to the Predator arsenal. Predator had the shoulder-cannon and the claw. Predator 2 introduced the net, the spear, the disc, and a small two-pronged blade used as a projectile. AVP introduced the Predator shuriken, and the ability to use the claw as projectiles. AVP-R introduced the melting liquid (what the Predator pours on initial victims to destroy their remains), the implosion bomb on the ship, and the ability to turn a shoulder-cannon into a traditional (human) shotgun-style gun. Con's: -Acting. Atrocious. The best acting in the whole movie was done by the people in the alien suits and Robert Joy as "Colonel Stevens." -Brief running time. There could have been an additional half-hour to 45 minutes, and if done even relatively well it would have improved the movie. -Predalien. The idea is great, and STRAIGHT out of the two-issue "Aliens vs. Predator - Duel" comic that linked the original AVP series with "Aliens: Berserker" into "Aliens vs. Predator - War." The execution, though...not so great. It turned from what should have been a stealthy, uber-dangerous killing machine into just another movie monster. The ability to impregnate pregnant women with multiple chestbursters, while seemingly a cool idea, was pretty lame and a little too out-there for it to just happen without ANY explanation. I don't mean have some random archaeologist be able to read ancient alien text (fuck AVP) and come up with the entire history of the creature, but I do mean have the characters see what's happened and try to theorize a reason. It worked to full foreshadowing effect in Aliens as Hudson, Vasquez, Bishop, and Ripley try to figure out who's laying the facehugger eggs, and it could have worked here even just a little bit if mentioned. Also, the Predalien seemed a little too cunning, if you catch my drift. It's always been known throughout the movies that the aliens are smarter than anybody wanted to give them credit for (hiding in the escape pod of the Nostromo, cutting the power to the colony on LV-426, using the drop-ceiling to enter MedLab and corner the marines, etc. etc.), but this one seemed...a little too smart. It knew what a pregnant woman was, it knew where to go to find the best place for a hive (I liked the idea of the hive being based in the sewer, though) via , and it knew the complete layout of the Predator ship, pretty much. -Abrupt ending. After pretty intense build-up to , the movie just sort of ends. It was a nonstop-action until the last 5 minutes, so the quick ending hurt it in a way. If there were more stops in the action, or the "ending" occurred earlier in the movie ( ), it would have been a little better.

Nope, TNA. Titles still stay with the champion on a DQ in NWA affiliates, IIRC. It was a TNA-exclusive rule, and a good one at that to keep it differentiated from other companies. Dropping it without mention is bullshit booking on TNA's part, so why does that not come as a surprise? Then again, there were rumors that they'd be doing a pseudo-screwjob in Montreal, so hey...maybe that's it.

Oh, so you mean Jeff and Jerry Jarrett wouldn't have hired him even though he's close friends with Jeff? Likely story. They were biding their time with Russo-esque characters and angles until Russo came in, and in truth: the first 6 months or so of Russo booking was solid shit. We got the height of the SEX/TNA feud, the formation of XXX, the rise of AJ Styles, and Sonny Siaki got something resembling a personality. In fact, I'd say TNA was the most entertaining promotion State-side from its formation in June '02 until they brought Dutch Mantel in to try to appease Hogan (which was an awful idea from the start, especially in hindsight considering nothing ever came of it but awful shows) around October '03. THAT'S when shit started becoming 100% awful. If TNA really wants to get rid of a lot of their problems? Get rid of Mantel. He's been responsible, along with Jarrett, for everything you see on TV in some way, shape, or form since October '03. The over-abundance of gimmick matches, the "we're gonna push the X-Division -> no we're not, they're too small -> but the fans love 'em -> well, we should tell the fans to stop caring" escapades, the same people on top of the card over and over, poorly-done rip-off's of 1998 WWF and WCW...all Mantel trademarks since he took the book in Puerto Rico, mind you.

It's funny, because one of the things I actually kinda like about TNA is that anybody can beat anybody on any given day. It's a double-edged sword: on one hand, the elevation potential IS there for midcarders like Chris Sabin, Alex Shelley, Jay Lethal, and Robert Roode, but on the other hand it's not going to mean anything considering not a single person is really treated as a star or put over on TV as being worthy of hanging with "the best" on their TNA merits. I could see scripting the finish, so that way the workers and camera crew and everybody else could focus on that perfectly, but the heat segments...yeah. And it's Russo, so the constant references to 1998 (a better time for him) make too much sense.

I see Ben Savage and Rider Strong getting into an argument over this, and then hugging while Will Friedle becomes the "Good Looking Detective."

My fashion hasn't changed a whole lot since middle school, right when the DDP/Raven/Benoit feud was in full swing, and Raven was my favorite, so I'd always wrap my flannel shirt around my waist (had one since I was, like, 7, and just kept getting new ones over the years) while in the middle of growing my hair long. I still saw people giving me the crucifix pose even after wrestling stopped being incredibly popular. I thought for a while that those O&A WOW stickers were for the semi-insider Apter mag World of Wrestling, which had a nearly identical logo, so I was always like "wow, a lot of people like that magazine."

Municipal Waste - The Art of Partying Thrash madness, and just pure amazing. The most fun I've had listening to an album since SOD's Speak English or Die and any of the MC Lars discs. Evile - Enter the Grave The best return to "serious" thrash metal by a newer band...ever. Hints of Exodus, the heavier side of Anthrax, and Kill 'Em All-era Metallica. Solid shit. S.O.D. - Rise of the Infidels Not a good album outside of as far as live SOD ones go (and, of their several discs and bootlegs, most of them are live, and most of them are the exact same sets). This one includes ballads for Nirvana (and it's a concert from Seattle in '94 or so), Freddie Mercury, INXS, and Jim Morrison in addition to the classic one for Jimi Hendrix. Good for SOD fans, though the sound quality is awful, but bad for anybody expecting "good" music. Exodus - The Atrocity Exhibition - Exhibit A Amazing. Beautiful thrash goodness. 'Nuff said. Eh...nothing else has really struck me as worth getting this year.

Another "best of this year" category, stolen from the WWE folder. This applies to all companies, so there ye go. Wrestler of the year: Worst wrestler of the year: Most Improved Wrestler: Most Underachieving Wrestler Best Tag Team: Worst Tag Team: Best Heel: Best Face: Best Diva/Knockout: Worst Diva: Match of the Year: Worst Match of the Year: Quote of the Year: Best Comeback: Mark out moment of the year: Funniest moment of the year: Best promotion: Worst promotion: Best PPV: Worst PPV: Best Feud: Worst Feud: Worst Moment of the Year: As for my votes... Wrestler of the year: Bryan Danielson (RoH) Worst wrestler of the year: Kevin Nash (TNA) Most Improved Wrestler: Robert Roode (TNA) Most Underachieving Wrestler: Samoa Joe (TNA) Best Tag Team: The Briscoes (RoH) Worst Tag Team: The Highlanders (WWE) Best Heel: Chris Hero (RoH, CHIKARA) Best Face: Shawn Michaels (WWE) Best Diva/Knockout: Awesome Kong (TNA) Worst Diva: Kelly Kelly (WWECW) Match of the Year: Nigel McGuinness vs. Bryan Danielson (RoH Driven PPV, ****1/2) Worst Match of the Year: VKM vs. Bashams (TNA, -**) Quote of the Year: Kevin Steen to El Generico following destroying the Briscoes in a brawl, "You see that? THAT'S how you do it!" (RoH) Best Comeback: Shawn Michaels (WWE) Mark out moment of the year: Jay Briscoe giving El Generico the J-Driller through a ladder (RoH Man Up PPV) Funniest moment of the year: The interchange between Santino Marella and Chris Jericho (WWE) Best promotion: Ring of Honor Worst promotion: TNA Best PPV: RoH Driven Worst PPV: TNA Turning Point Best Feud: Briscoes vs. Kevin Steen/El Generico (RoH) Worst Feud: VKM vs. anybody (TNA) Worst Moment of the Year: Benoit tragedy (WWE...the whole industry in general)

Huh? It's my understanding that the opinion on Orton/Cena from SSlam '07 is pretty divided. Some call it a very good match, and others call it boring and Cena's worst. I'm of the former. I was referring to the feuds with Michaels and Umaga, and even the "miracle" with Khali. I wasn't impressed by anything Cena had done, and I only liked this match because of Orton's heel work. The headlock that started the match made perfect sense, much more sense than HBK destroying Cena's knee for the first half of their Mania match only for Cena to shrug it off like it was nothing at all, since Orton had been working on Cena's head to weaken it for the Concussion Kick in the weeks prior. I wish I watched more WWE shows this year, as it seems there were some outstanding matches, and if Jericho/Umaga wasn't just a throwaway match and thus not as important overall as Orton/Cena from SSlam, I would've given the vote to that.

Wrestler of the year: Jeff Hardy. Say what you want, but everything he's touched this year has been solid, if not almost great. He's upped his game a lot in the last year, cleaned up his act a reasonable amount (minus the Wellness violation over the summer), and now he's getting the push a lot of people felt (reasonably or unreasonably so) he should have gotten in '01 before the InVasion. Worst wrestler of the year: John Cena. I know it's not "cool" to hate on Cena, but I really have not enjoyed a single one of his matches that people have clamored over this year (ESPECIALLY vs. HBK at 'Mania), and I find him dull, boring, and more vanilla than a lot of the X-Division guys in TNA. Most Improved Wrestler: John Morrison. He was already showing a lot of promise upon entering the 'E as first Bischoff's lackey (and I still think they should've ran with him changing his name every week, it was entertaining) and then as half of MNM, but he's stepped it up since becoming ECW champ at Vengeance. His feud with Punk is the reason a lot of people gave WWECW a second chance, and they didn't disappoint. Now he's teaming with Miz, and actually making Miz look like a competent performer. Most Underachieving Wrestler: Kendrick/London. And it's not their fault. WWE brass have chosen to not push these guys to the moon as THE top tag team, more so because of the WWE's apparent dislike of tag wrestling, and they've suffered. It also doesn't help that London repeatedly disobeys direct orders to not do the SSP (for their career, I mean). These guys have what it takes to be big at LEAST on a Hardy Boyz '00-'01 level, so why not do something with them? Best Tag Team: London/Kendrick. They're really the only tag team, outside of Cade/Murdoch, that hasn't consistently been average or below average all year. They're exciting, they do the old-school thing of wearing matching attires, and they have enough small differences in their style to let people understand that outside of being a cohesive unit they're also individuals. Worst Tag Team: Highlanders. It's a semi-good idea to have a tag team representing Scotland, the land of my ancestors, but making them into fucking rednecks with a different accent? Pfft. Doesn't help that they suck in the ring, either. Best Heel: Are you fucking kidding me? Edge. For the second year in a row. He gets genuine heat by being opportunistic, and he works a great heel promo. Best Face: HBK. Put anybody up against HBK and they're getting boo'd. The fans have so much respect for Michaels' in-ring ability and legacy that there's no way he wouldn't be the top face. Best Diva: Mickie James, for being not only the hottest one, but also the best wrestler of the bunch. Worst Diva: Kelly Kelly. I was going to put Maria, but then I remembered that Maria is actually mildly entertaining on the stick. KK's better on the eyes, but she's utterly useless. Match of the Year: Cena/Orton from SSlam from what I've seen (which isn't a whole lot, as I've been focusing more on RoH this year). If only for the heat the audience was giving Cena at the beginning when Orton put him in a SIDE HEADLOCK for a few minutes. Worst Match of the Year: Kelly Kelly vs. Layla El from WWECW a week or two ago. Awful, just awful. Quote of the Year: Just utter fucking hilarity. Best Comeback: Jericho. Been back for a little over a month, and he's had a pair of *** matches at LEAST. That's with two years of ring rust, too. I still love Jericho vs. Umaga from Jericho's 2nd or 3rd week back. Just solid, solid shit. Mark out moment of the year: Jeff Hardy hitting a seated senton off of a 12-foot ladder onto Edge THROUGH a ladder on the outside. I legitimately thought both guys might have suffered career-threatening injuries right then and there. Funniest moment of the year: See "Quote of the year." Best brand: Raw, by default as I still don't care for WWECW, and I'm rarely home to watch SmackDown. Worst brand: WWECW. A good Punk/Morrison series, building Viscera into a believable monster again, and Elijah Burke's continuing rise doesn't save the brand. Best PPV: SummerSlam, because it's the only WWE PPV besides 'Mania I ordered, and it was better than 'Mania. Worst PPV: 'Mania, just because it was underwhelming, and, again, I only order WM and SSlam. Best Feud: HBK/Orton. They built up Michaels' superkick ENDING Orton so fucking perfectly it makes it greater than it probably is. Worst Feud: HHH/Umaga. I'm supposed to take Umaga seriously after HHH beats him decisively each and every time? Riiiiiight. The matches were decent, but the feud itself was horribly booked. Worst Moment of the Year: Like this needs mentioning...Benoit.

I have a bunch of tapes of WCW and the WWF in 2001 from TV, at least up until WM17, I think a little after the InVasion started too, so that takes care of some gems. Not sure if I have HHH/Austin vs. Jericho/Benoit on it, though. I don't think I do. I wish I had New Blood Rising on tape. Awful show, but the 3Count/Jung Dragons ladder match is something I wish I could watch, as I remember it being pretty solid. I'm almost positive I have the entire Cruiserweight Tag Team title tourney from Feb-March '01 on tape, so that'd be a nice comp to make one day. I wish I still had the taped-from-PPV Heat Wave '98. Big mistake to trade it to a friend in exchange for the DX tape right before he was moving to Bellingham. The opening Styles/Douglas/Francine promo was hilarious, and the Dreamer promo where he bashes his head into a locker until it bleeds to put over how he's going to ignore pain to focus on beating the Dudleys was gold. I'd also like to see the full entrances and exits, and all the video packages rather than just the intro vid.