Corey_Lazarus

I fucking love SouthParkStudios!

Dunno, but Austrian Death Machine blows. Anything involving As I Lay Dying is sure to suck. ArnoCorps seem to genuinely have fun with the it all, though, but ADM...that just seems like using the gimmick for the sake of using the gimmick. Like Lordi with the monster makeup (where pretty much every costume is a direct knock-off of the Gwar characters). You know who's a big pile of bullshit? AMINALS.

Fucking Turks. First they take over our holy cities, now they want to take away our beloved comic heroes?!?! Milkhawk, Dress to Kill's section where Eddie just goes on, in French, about meeting the President of Burundi (sp.?) is fucking hilarious, especially if you don't need subtitles and just understand what he's saying (or even have a loose understanding) in French. When did Circle come out? I lost touch with Izzard after Dress to Kill. And Big Bang Theory is a decent show. It really has to grow on you, but Sarah Gilbert's appearances are often hilarious, especially given her character's relationship to Leonard.

This motherfucker named Caesar Silva who has a similar number to mine. Every few months, I'll get a call from this old guy going "WHERE IS YOU?!" I have to keep telling him that I'm not Caesar, I've never been Caesar, and to get the number right. It's fantastic when I'm at work and pulled into a company meeting, phone on silent, and continuously getting a call from the same guy. Also, how fast time flies when you're on percocet. The last 2 hours have been a nice prescription opiate-induced relaxation period, but it annoys me that I can't even really remember what I've been doing.

ArnoCorps may have one of the best gimmicks around right now, and "Commando" has such a fucking tight chorus it needs to be heard to be believed:

First one I technically BOUGHT: First CD I technically OWNED:

Good ol' JR was twice a heel, both failing. First was when he brought in Fake Razor and Fake Diesel, and the second time was returning after a particularly bad bout with Bell's Palsy (hence his face) and getting mad over Cole replacing him while he was out. It went over as well as expected. Hardy...I could see somebody with a style similar to Hardy's getting over as a heel, but not Hardy himself. To be a heel you need to either show a complete killer instinct or to be cocky beyond just being confident. Hardy's mic skills are just finally at a level considered "acceptable" to talk here and there, and he lacks the finesse in the ring to be seen as a "killer," per se. IIRC, didn't the Hardy Boyz have a VERY brief heel run upon joining up with Michael PS Hayes, and then another quick one as the New Brood? I'm pretty sure they were initially supposed to be the heels in the Hardy Boyz/E&C feud, but their matches were just so much fun that the fans couldn't hate on them. I don't watch Smackdown, but I do believe R-Truth is Ron Killings. If so: DUDE IS A SOLID FUCKING HEEL. He was the highlight of TNA in 2002 outside of the X-Division because of just how solid a heel he was, and he ended up forcing the fans to cheer for him. Killings as a heel would be easy to do, because he's just naturally angry, condescending, and cocky on the mic. And Punk...like somebody else said, just have him do the RoH "I'm straight edge, so I'm better than you" routine.

WWF: -original Austin 3:16 smoking skull (with the rear print accidentally off-set lower than it should be) -original D-Generation X "Two Words: S*ck It!" shirt -knock-off Hardy Boyz t-shirt from Walmart -knock-off Tazz "TAZZMISSION" football jersey -HHH "GAME OVER?!" that has gone missing due to, IIRC, letting a girlfriend borrow it in high school -lame HHH shirt where an Iron Cross is made on the front using "HHH" and something dumb on the back -RVD "Whole Dam Show" from right when he debuted, with the yellow yin-yang dragon on the front WCW: -'97 Sting shirt, black with white screenprint making Sting's face (no idea where this went, but it was an awesome shirt) -black and white "nWo 4 Life" shirt (freebie after the Halloween Havoc '98 overrun fiasco) ECW: -original "JOIN THE REVOLUTION" -black Triple Threat shirt w/ large diamond logo on the back -old-school black and white Raven shirt (similar to the Sting one w/ all white screenprint), with Raven on the front with the ECW World title around his waist, and "QUOTE THE RAVEN, NEVERMORE" on the back -Taz "SURVIVE IF I LET YOU" shirt with his face and quote on the front, and various "synonyms" on the back -original "SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING" shirt Other: -NE indy guy Michael Sain/"Psycho" Mike Osbourne's logo shirt, with the definition of "Psycho" on the back (definition 3: ME) Would love: -old-school "HOT ROD" Piper ringer -an RVD "Route 420" ECW tee -that new CM Punk one with the two taped arms that look almost like ribcages on the front

Plastic toy uzi of the squirt gun variety, pulled off the market for being too realistic in appearance, and filled with hot sauce. Better question: what song did Rob Zombie contribute to the soundtrack?

I used to hate - HATE, HATE, HATE - Shawn Michaels. I really started watching the WWF in late '97, so HBK was in full-on awesome prick heel mode, but I just caught on that his matches followed a similar format and was like "zzzzzzzzzzzzz." That, and I couldn't understand why he was disrespecting Bret Hart like he was. Ric Flair, too. The first time I saw Ric Flair was on an episode of WCW Pro Wrestling in '97 after hearing so much about him (even from just friends who loved wrestling), and it was a tag match of Flair/Anderson against 2 jobbers (I think either High Voltage or Disorderly Conduct). So I just thought Flair was an old man who yelled "WOO" a lot while doing very little in the ring. Not really a guy I thought sucked, but I thought Steve Austin was a part of the DOA for a short while considering he was bald (like Skull and 8-Ball) and wore a leather vest (like they all did). Meh. I also thought Power Rangers Zeo was pretty cool.

I think the only bands they flat-out 100% loved on B&B were Gwar and White Zombie. Hard not to love both, too. I'd actually call Nile entry-level death, too. At first, the whole use of eastern scales with fast and heavy music is interesting, as well as the lyrics being all about Egyptian history and mythology. Then...well, let's just say that after discovering Dying Fetus and Death, Nile actually seems pretty fucking tame and gimmick-y (but not over-the-top gimmick-y like Gwar, thus making them not as fun).

That's a rather disparate list It just dawned on me, when writing that, that there's a lot of bands that I, by all means, should like due to either sounding similar or influencing bands/styles I like, but, for whatever reason, I just don't care for them. When talking melodic death, I love At The Gates, don't mind Dark Tranquility, and quite like early Beyond The Embrace and Summer's End (who, despite technically being metalcore, have much more in common with At The Gates than they do with Killswitch Engage), but for whatever reason can't get into In Flames. I dig old-school death metal, and just metal from the late 80's/early 90's in general, but Celtic Frost (as well as Bolt Thrower and even Carcass) just don't interest me that much. Origin, tech-death...I dunno. Tech-death in general has bored me lately, just something about not having a whole ton of meat on it to savor...yeah, I dunno. Obituary's another band like that. I dig the music itself, and the growls are good, but the guy's vocal patterns themselves, just how he paces and times himself when singing, it's just...off-putting. Not King Diamond circa Mercyful Fate off-putting, but close.

I'm fucking weird. I just don't care for In Flames, Celtic Frost, Origin, or other bands that play similar shit to what I like. For whatever reason, I just don't care about them. But then I turn and fall in love with shit like Toxic Holocaust and Engorged, which are just kinda eh when you think about them, but are actually pretty fun, if even for a cheese-factor. ...and now, THE CROWN

New Unearth album dropped Tuesday. The March. The review at 411mania makes it seem like a worthwhile purchase, albeit not as good as III: In the Eyes of Fire. I listened to the first single, "My Will Be Done," last night. Good axe work by Buz and Ken, but it doesn't have the OOMPH that the singles for Oncoming Storm and III had. Seems like this one has more guitar noodling than prior albums, but that could definitely be a good thing.

He did, though. At the very end. Wilson turned to him, and House just went "my dad died." That's as close to genuine emotion as House gets.

It's warranted. Since, you know, he gets heat, and is fucking hilarious. Who's Taylor Wilde again?

I liken Tim & Eric to a poor man's Whitest Kids U'Know...only without the sense of humor that the WKUK have...or the timing...or knowledge of things to parody...or versatility...yeah...it sucks. Superjail is alright, but the first ep I saw was better than the second. First ep was Fight City, second was the one last night about the female version of Superjail that crashes into it and is filled with demonic bimbos. Might be all the episodes there are for all I know. Watching the re-run of Metalocalypse last night, the "Duncan Hills Coffe Jingle" one, made me realize how much better the second season is. The jokes are just so much better, and every character (well...except Skwisgar) is fleshed out a little bit better.

Oh my fucking GOD Gwar's tour this year is fucking amazing. I'm going to be washing green and red shit off of me for a fucking WEEK. -Overall, Rock and Shock was fantastic. I met Roddy Piper, and he has to be one of the nicest guys ever at the convention. His line was the longest and the slowest, all because he took the time to have conversations with people. Wicked fucking nice guy, and having a quick chat about the dog collar matches with Greg Valentine and cancer was fantastic. Extremely nice guy, and has this personable quality that makes him seem like an old relative you haven't seen in forever. -In contrast, Michael Biehn (Hicks in Aliens, Kyle Reese in Terminator) is a dick. Didn't talk, just signed a picture and took my money. Cock. -Brian O'Halloran (Dante from the Clerks series) seemed like a great guy, taking the time out to talk to anybody who wanted to. Too short of a line for him, though, since... -...Jason Mewes (Jay of Jay & Silent Bob fame) was right next to him. He seemed like he didn't want to be there at ALL. Too bad, too, since his line was almost as big as Piper's. -Q&A with Tom Savini was both interesting and hilarious. Savini seems like one of those guys who 100% loves what he does, and is entirely willing to talk about it with anyone. One of the questions asked by this cute little redhead sitting next to me was "are you REALLY a sex machine?" His reply was obvious, but perfect: "Well, why don't you come by my hotel room later and find out?" -A few cool merch booths, specifically this one with a shit-ton of collectible figures. Including the Heath Ledger Joker that was pulled off the shelves for bearing too much of a resemblance to Ledger, as well as being too "scary" for little kids. My girlfriend swiped that quick. $25 ain't bad, especially considering how high the value will likely go. -Went up to the Palladium (right up the street from the convention, which is at the DCU Center) around 6:30 and caught Toxic Holocaust. Mostly stuff from the new album, An Overdose of Death, which I didn't know since I only have Evil Never Dies. Decent stuff, but Joel Grind REALLY needs to learn how to diversify a little bit, and also get some fucking stage presence. -Met DAVE FUCKING BROCKIE during Toxic's set. My girl was shaking she was so fucking nervous. He signed her Gwar tat on her back, and then we rushed to one of the tattoo booths at the convention. -So she's getting it done on her, and Brockie walks by, recognizes her, and just starts laughing. So...Mushroomhead before Gwar...and I do have to say that I would see them live again. Not a big fan of anything beyond XX, but they put on a good live show. GWAR: -They had a backdrop for a projector that was placed on the balcony. -The story for the night was a combination of Sleazy P. Martini (FIRST TOUR WITH HIM IN SEVERAL YEARS!) running for President so he could depopulate the Earth by over 90%. The second story was GWAR being in charge of Earth because they hold the Intergalactic Championship Wrestling Frank Sinatra World Domination titles via Oderus Urungus and Bonesnapper. -The set was a fucking killer combo of new and old, albeit mostly new. No "Saddam A-Go-Go" or "Meat Sandwich," though, but that was more than made up for by playing "A Short History of the End of the World" (off We Kill Everything, which they refuse to play anything from), "Crush, Kill, Destroy" (off Ragnarok, the only song off of which they play usually is "Meat Sandwich"), and "U Ain't Shit" (off their debut Hell-O). -The first victim of the evening was John McCain, as he was set up in an exhibition match against Bonesnapper. Mouth ripped off, followed by getting scalped. -Then, Hilary Clinton and Barrack Obama teamed up to challenge for the Frank Sinatra World Domination belts. Promptly each obliterated. Immediately following the match, Bozo Destrukto and Cyko Destrukto, cousing of Tekno Destrukto, came out to beat down Oderus and Bonesnapper, stealing the belts. -Beefcake asks Oderus what they'll do now that Bozo and Cyko stole their belts, since without the belts Gwar ain't shit. Oderus: "LET'S ROCK!" -It's time for the main event: Bozo and Cyko against Oderus and Bonesnapper, all to a modified rendition of "The Private Pain of Tekno Destrukto" off Carnival of Chaos. The entire song saw the Destrukto's rip off Bonesnapper's jaw and scalp Oderus, followed by the next song (which I can't remember at the moment, unfortunately) which saw Oderus and Bonesnapper retaliate and murder them, regaining the belts they never lost. -But uh-oh...here's NANCY REAGAN to discuss how Gwar is the worst corruption society has ever scene. And she's brought back...THE REAGANATOR!!!! -Oderus and Bonesnapper rip off Reaganator's arms after a short battle, and then tear open the chest to reveal Nancy controlling it all. Disembowel her, and the show's over... -...but here's the fucking ENCORE. 2 songs, and 2 songs they haven't played in nearly a decade: "Slaughterama" (with Sleazy coming out to do it) and "Sick of You". More shit sprayed into the crowd between those two songs than during the set prior. AMAZING. FUCKING. GWAR. SHOW. Can't wait until December when they're in Providence.

Alright. So, only jokes that you'd see on Full House then, right? Well, there go any off-color jokes, since there's really no line to be drawn. Either everything is okay to be made fun of, or nothing is. It's one of the few areas I think are black and white. I do think it was in bad taste, and likely not the best idea to do that at, you know, A WRESTLING ROAST, but I'm not going to say he shouldn't have done it because of that. It's a roast. Roasts are all about rude, off-color jokes.

It's an instrumental that just doesn't seem planned like "The Call of Ktulu" and "Orion," and even "To Live is to Die," were. Those all seemed planned, as if there was a purpose to it all, but "Suicide and Redemption" just seems to be the guys jamming for 8 or so minutes. There's a structure, but it's a basic one, and the riffs just seem almost half-assed. I listened to "The Call of Ktulu" yesterday whilst driving, and then it hit me: I'd forgotten how fucking flat-out amazing it is. Nothing on Death Magnetic touches it, but that's not really an insult: Ride the Lightning and Master of Puppets are constantly debated as the best Metallica albums, sometimes even the best METAL albums, whereas Death Magnetic is an attempt to return to form.

Sorry for double-post...but this is hilarious. And now...ZIMMERS HOLE with "When You Were Shouting at the Devil...We Were in League with Satan"...

No speakers at work, but I shall check this out ASAP when I get home. And here's something the whole family can enjoy... Teratism - "Desire for the Demented" Brockton, MA-based death metal. I love finding little oddities in my local scene. Hypersolid - "Tides of War" Fucking HILARIOUS guys. Friends of my band's singer, and they practice right down the hall from us. The singer works at Lupo's in Providence, and I run into the bassist at shows here and there (most recently Nachtmystium/Opeth, the latter he calls Qpeth). Never a dull/serious moment with these sons of bitches, and they can fucking GO.

Or to...well, all of the stuff I like is fast...uhhh...Demolition Hammer's Time Bomb album is kinda slow and groovy, though...their worst, but it's better than a lot of recent shit. Okay...so what's everybody's opinion on this deathcore shyte? Animosity, Despised Icon, Job For A Cowboy, and The Red Chord all have their moments, but it just seems like everybody else (and even these four) aren't even really trying to push their own boundaries. Seems like most newer bands just relax and record the same shit over and over again.

Obituary was actually tainted for me by Six Feet Under. The first SFU album, Haunted, is just loaded to the gills with Obituary riffs (considering the guitarist from Obituary was the guitarist for SFU; Allen West, IIRC), so whenever I do hear old Obituary I'm just like "yeah...meh..." Which sucks, because I really would like to get into them more.

I just didn't care for any of the songs on it. The "big" single off it was the sub-par "I, Voyager," which was basically a reminder of early (read: pretty fucking lame) Nevermore. The s/t is only really listenable for "What Tomorrow Knows" and "Garden of Grey." In Memory EP and Politics of Ecstasy are rather forgettable, IIRC (only listened to them, never owned them), and Dreaming is solid but, really, doesn't hold up too well to repeated listenings. Dead Heart is still great, though, and Godless is pure brilliance. Warrel's solo stuff isn't bad, but...yeah. Anybody else looking forward to checking out Get Thrashed?