The Amazing Rando

Not if your idea of a spot is "a homeless guy for drugs"

Actually it might be Downhome's soul. We gotta get his motherfucking soul out of Jeff Hardy's motherfucking pocket!"

Marcellus Wallace's soul.

Jeff Hardy is going to try and hit more spots in 10 minutes than an freckled epileptic.

No, Jeff Hardy is...or at least, he's the only thing in the fed that glows green...and orange...and purple...and blue...and red...

Would you put a real 50-100ft. "DX" on a multi-million dolar building? Or would you rather be able to pull it off afterward? Also, did they happen to paint the whole thing and then not even have anyone notice it and call Vince? They are all backstage at the show saying "yes" more times than Randy Orton playing "Guess Who"

I'm sure he's already banged Lita a few times.

...in Atlanta.

That must have been a HUGE spray can... either that, or Jeff Hardy exploded.

Wrong. Stop trying. Now I *distinctly* remember the Fake Undertaker throwing the real Taker's urn into the Missouri River.

JR: During the break it appeared DX was getting some kind of advantage on the outside, only for the McMahons to reverse an irish whip and throw them into the unforgiving steel stairs! Jerry: YEAH! *Back in the ring --- resthold*

"You can't arrest us for that! A graphic artist did it!" "Yeah, I can't even hold a spraycan thanks to all the steroids I've been...I mean...thanks to space invaders!"

It better be. They should get as much out of Jeff as they can before he implodes again. Fan 1: What happened to Jeff Hardy? Fan 2: He just collapsed. Fan 1: The human body can't do that! He was hit with a missile! The government flew it into him! That's why there was so much fire and he fell down at such a wierd angle! Fan 2: No, he fell down at that angle cause there was a cock there.

Sporty Spice is PISSED

"That's not the Queen!!! It's Vince McMAAAAAAHON, BAYBEE~!"

You know, I forgot completely about their history. Who are you, one of the writers?

Orton: Hey Ric, remember when we were friends? Ric: Who are you again, little boy? You want an autograph, stylin and profilin, limosuine flying, jet riding, kissing down the aisle, walking all the girls and making them cry, the best there is, best there was, the showstopper, the I-CON, The Ayatollah of Funk, Be-bop, and swinging twenties jazz!!! Orton: Hey Ric, remember when we were friends? Ric: WOOOOOOO! FOUR HORSEMEN! FIRE ME! I'M ALREADY FIRED!! Orton: Hey Ric, remember when we were friends?

Dammit...Shane McMahon is legal. There goes my fantasies.

There is nothing stable about Jeff Hardy.

Does that mean RAW will be on Sci-Fi this year when the Dog Show airs? Dog Show's on Bravo, IIRC. Now...I *just* saw Lita on Raw.

I'M RORY! I'M ROBBIE! I'M RETARDED! I'M EUGENE!

To be fair...he probably was tripping, just not over himself.

Fan: Are you going to get a spinning belt too, Jeff? Jeff: I'M SPINNIN' NOWAHWAHWAHWAH WILLOW THE WHISP~!!! Fan: *cums*

I was actually hoping Cena would pop out of the water like a Navy Seal... HHH's belt will have a huge spinning Cross....and should Jeff Hardy win it... a huge spinning clock that plays "The Final Countdown"

It's Austin vs. Rock all over again...and Austin vs. Angle too~ ...and at the same time it's almost HBK vs. Razor.