The Amazing Rando

"I think everyone should have their name on the back of their pants!" Josh wants girls to stare at his ass.

That's what we are for.

They do so end.... at this calves. His calves live on a farm in the Applachians of West Virginia.

Rene Dupree is apparently "all dat 'n' a Solar Plexus"

Damn, that was funny. I had to read it twice just to soak it all in. Probably just my broken English. Lita hit it with a moonsault.

Jesus has a bed neck from CARRYING YOUR SINS!!!

So Hardcore Holly is the Pure Wrestling Champion Of course...to Bob, "Pure" means not mating outside of the family tree.

Solar Plexus!!

Aren't fortune cookies Chinese? like any mark would tell the difference. Good point. Make it a spinning Twinkie instead because Kenzo's yellow on the outside, but white on the inside. Hepatitis. a spinning Petrie dish of Hepatitis.

IT'S PARTY TIME~!!!

VELOCITY~! is Hardcore Holly's show...because of the speed fan's change the channel when he appears on screen. It broke the sound barrier twice.

Holy FUCK... this is the most insane commercial i've ever seen... and Christian is running Potsie hair.

Aren't fortune cookies Chinese? like any mark would tell the difference.

I think whenever a segment is doing bad, Snitsky should come down and punt something into the audience. Smackdown would be Snitsdown, and for a finale he could punt Spike Dudley into Torrie Wilson's colon.

Actual brain, or a picture of it? The actual brain. Snitsky could make an appearance to punt it into the crowd.

Kenzo's US Championship should be a spinning fortune cookie with JFK's Brain in the middle.

But he's the Chief of Staff. His resthold should be handing out bumper stickers that say "EL OH EL - JBL!" on them.

Ya DAMN right.

This is a big feud going on in the WWE right now! Apparently moments ago, Chavo looked at Orlando "the wrong way", and now they are going to the Rumble to face off in an Iron Man Inferno Match for the European Championship. Sadly, Orlando Jordan hates the Euro, and will thus use the strap to take out his childhood issues on his opponents for the next twelve months, until Chavo makes his triumphant return after a year off thanks to leather burn on his back to defeat Orlando and win the WWE Championship.

A rational booker wouldn't have made the game "head on", they would have kept with the secret attacks...random attacks... etc etc etc. Don't let anyone know their true numbers, never show any more than two or three guys at a time, and keep a few regulars in there so that the new faces come few and far between. Write the WWE guys as confident but weary of being anywhere near the arena. Hell, they could have written a few guys as wanting to leave right when their match was over, only to get beaten in the parking lot. It could have turned the actual arena into a "safe haven" of sorts, at least for about two hours of a show, and then finish a broadcast out with wrestlers laid out, and nothing to show for it but the WCW logo on the wall behind them or something. Throw in ECW as a third party doing the SAME THING, keep the WWE mainstays guessing as "could one of our guys be a traitor?" and always always always keep the fans guessing as to what could happen next. They could have ran shit like that for a good 6 months, even keeping the secretive ECW stuff going long after the true nature of WCW was revealed full force, coming out of the shadows to take on WWE once and for all to end it. Only neither group is/was prepared for ECW, and so they would have that to contend with as well. Don't let superstars switch brands, except for maybe one or two midcard heels who see the writing on the wall and jump to WCW. Bring in paranoia, bring in secrecy, bring in the aura that the war should have... it would have been wonderful. It could have gone so far as to run Raw and Thunder or Nitro and Smackdown or whatever, and constantly have them battling, keeping the ECW name in the background as a constant threat, finally bringing them out in full numbers as a "floating" stable, with guys on each side working with each other and with their partners on the other show, trying to bring both down from the inside. Heyman leading one side, Dreamer or Tazz leading the other. In this scenario, I would have left the nWo out of it completely, but guys like Flair, Goldberg, and others would have been welcome with open arms as soon as contracts were free to help push the envelope. In a creative sense, all that WWE style crap would have gone out the window, at least for the cruisers and the ECW-ites. It could be running until this very day, still no winner, not sure when it will ever end. Have Bischoff on one side, Vince on the other.... fuck "Monday Night Wars", make it 24/7. It would have been a blast, and nobody can deny that.

the fact that both of those guys walked away from some of that is beyond belief...specifically that superplex that looked like it could have killed one or both had they been off by inches. Same goes for the Cradle Driver (i believe) that just sent those two ladders flying. The ladder run/turnbuckle jump spot was only awesome because of the second guy's "HOLY SHIT!" run to get in the ring and shove the ladder over.

shit, I was once out of school for like 17 school days (thanks to a blizzard...I believe it was 94...or something, we had two big hits two years straight) ...we went for a week after Holiday Break, and then missed the next 3 ... so f'n bizarre that winter. We ended up in school till nearly the end of June.

You know they'll make him Eugene's special friend with THAT face, and he will go everywhere with balloons. EVERYWHERE.

Run around with a controller and scream "WHY AREN'T YOU UP UP LEFT TRIANGL'ING YOU PIECE OF SHIT!!" at everyone.

gotta love Eugene's signature with the backwards "E" ...