Rob E Dangerously

[We fade to the back where Vince Russo is sitting on a stool] "Ya know, i've gotten alot of crahp from these old tyemahs about dis promosion and dis spawts entertainment.. lemme tell you dis.. I don't concede, but there are some more changes for you.." "Zombee Iron Sheik, is now the Iron Sheik, it turns out, he was never a zombie, and if you read da news, Iran is threatening us, I bet dat Iron Sheik will be threatening us too" "Seeing as the Iron Sheik is not a zombee.. tonight's 8-man tag is now a 6-man tag, and Johnny Grunge can rest easy.. he's not getting paid tonight.." "Dat's all.. enjoy da show" [We cut to the ring, were we see Meat 2000, who is accompanied by the Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young.] "Remember what I said would be the consequence if I did not recieve a title shot here tonight? Well, let me tell you, Kevin Nash.. you are screwed! Hit the tape!" [Meat hits play on a tape player and holds it to the mic, causing interference] "Ok, let's try this again" [Meat holds the mic further away] KEVIN NASH (on tape): "How much do you want for that weed?" MAN ON TAPE: "Dood.. only like 60 bucks dood" KEVIN NASH (on tape): "Ok man.. I got the munchies, so here ya go" [Meat presses stop on the tape recorder] "There you go! proof that Kevin Nash bought marijuana!" [We cut to the back where we see the police arresting Kevin Nash and dragging him away] "LOOK AT MAH TEETH!" [The fans boo as John Bradshaw Layfield's theme music plays and he barges out of the dressing room.] JBL - "MEET! WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?? YOU JUST GOT THE MAN I'M FACING ARRESTED!" Meat - "Look JBL.. don't worry about it, you will still get your title shot. Trust me, I have stuff on you too. In fact.. I have stuff on Vince Russo" [Meat grins] Meat - "From now on, I am Shawn Stasiak" [Ok then] Stasiak - "And I have enough dirt on everybody in this promotion to get my way to the top. Trust me, there's alot of stuff that your superstars don't want to know." Mae - "Shawn, you're breaking kayfa--" [stasiak punches Mae Young, and Moolah goes on the attack, until JBL lays her out with a Clothesline from Hell. Stasiak hits his finisher on Mae] JBL - "I can't stand that Fabulous Moolah, you know she wasn't born in this country? She was born when South Carolina was a Confederate state!" Stasiak - "I won't wash the smell out for we--" "BOW DOWN TO NOO YAWK!" [Vince Russo comes out] Russo - "Yoo no what? let me tell you dis! You won't rooin my main event Mr. Shawn Stasiak! Becuz yoo will be in it!" Stasiak - "About damn time" Russo - "Yoo and that Bradshaw will be facing the Illegal Immigrants for the Tag Team titles!" Stasiak - "Uh huh.." Russo - "Can I note the other changes to the card due to this move?" Stasiak - "Not unless you want me to tell these fans about those videos you made" Russo - "Ok den.. they can just find out about dem later, you bastard! Because you two are just bastards!" [Russo walks off and we cut to a commercial break] Meanwhile, we're introduced to the New Insane Clown Posse, Violent J and David Flair. Juggalos. Yeah. The New Insane Clown Posse defeated Cochese and Bobby the Rookie when D. Flair pinned Cochese after a waistlock suplex in 0:01:54. Rating: -* 1/4 Vince Russo gets Johnny Grunge to stay in the building as the following match is changed to Grunge/Mysterio/Algernon v. the Zombies Or so we thought Just before both teams started the match, we got a surprise as 'El Taliban' came out and declared that they would be wrestling both teams. El Taliban is made up of three elite Mexican wrestlers, who are quite Talibaniriffic. Triangle Match: El Taliban (Bestia Salvaje/Emilio Charles Jr./Scorpio Jr.) defeated The Zombies (Zombie Maven/Zombie Prince Iaukea/Zombie Bob Backlund) and Rey Misterio Jr., Johnny Grunge and Algernon: x Algernon beat Maven via the Texas Cloverleaf in 0:08:04 x Scorpio Jr. beat Misterio Jr. via the Power Bomb in 0:13:09 Rating: 3/4* Meanwhile in the back, we see Jerry Lynn (Sex Addict) pleasuring himself reading a Playboy, on further checking, it's the issue with Chyna in it. Brian Christopher practices his french laugh Brian Christopher pinned Bunny with the France Jam in 0:04:31. Rating: 1/4* Chyna recruits her partner, the drugged and easily persaudible, Jeff Hardy. Doink declared his dislike for Ric Flair (David Flair Classic), claiming that Flair is part of the reason for his agony, as Flair put him in the clownsuit almost 12 years ago. Doink The Clown pinned David Flair Classic after a German suplex in 0:03:50. Rating: 1/2* After the match, Doink beat Flair up with a steel chair, grabbed the mic and said one word: "Reborn" Rob Van Dam learns that his punishment is to face 'Sabu the Beheader'. "Dood". We cut to the back where it's revealed that Lita has decided to team with Kane, evoking the rage of Chyna. Lita's reasons for doing so, "She can choose whoever she wants when it comes to sex" During the match, Jerry Lynn [sex Addict] came down to ringside to admire Chyna. And the ending provided drama. Kane charges into the corner. Kane runs into the ropes. Jerry Lynn hits Kane in the back with a chair. Tim White calls for the DQ. The crowd is behind Kane all the way. The winners are Lita and Kane. Time of match: 0:09:56 Lynn ran for the back as Kane was quite mad at this. Lita and Kane defeated Jeff Hardy and Chyna when Kane defeated J. Hardy by disqualification in 0:09:56. Rating: 3/4* "You Americans, you imprisoned my father. Now, I come to get revenge on you." S-A-D-A-M COMING SOON Meanwhile, Jake Roberts plays a game of cards with himself, which means something deep. Scott Hall throws Animal the ring bell, but Jake Roberts intercepts it. Jake Roberts hits Animal with it and goes for the pin. James Beard counts: One, two, three. The crowd is booing Jake Roberts. The winner is Jake Roberts. Time of match: 0:09:14 Jake Roberts pinned Animal after hitting him with the ring bell in 0:09:14. Rating: -** And after that, Hall grabbed the Shoulderpads of Animal and hit Jake Roberts across the face with them. The referees and security helped to break up this brawl. We see I, Robot (formerly 'The Robot') walking though the back, CAN WE TRUST HIM? Meanwhile in the back, Kane is mad, and X-Pac pledges to help ease his anger with his idea. Kane comes to ringside. X-Pac uses a forearm to the back on Jerry Lynn, Sex Addict. Jerry Lynn, Sex Addict hits a bodyslam on X-Pac. Jerry Lynn, Sex Addict executes a vertical suplex on X-Pac. Jerry Lynn, Sex Addict whips X-Pac into the ropes, but X-Pac reverses it. Kane pulls down the top rope. James Beard threatens X-Pac with disqualification. James Beard counts: one, two, three, X-Pac distracts James Beard. Kane hits Jerry Lynn, Sex Addict with the Tombstone. There are lots of chants for Jerry Lynn, Sex Addict. James Beard is back on the job: four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. X-Pac is getting a good reaction from the crowd. The winner is X-Pac. Time of match: 0:04:27 [Diaper Match]: X-Pac defeated Jerry Lynn, Sex Addict by countout in 0:04:27. Rating: * 1/2 Before they load Jerry Lynn onto a stretcher, X-Pac and Kane put the diaper on him. Jerry Lynn is then stretchered off. But Chyna comes out with her giant gun and fires it at X-Pac and Kane, taking down X-Pac and setting his hair on fire. The epic Kane/Chyna feud continues. Meanwhile, Sabu the Beheader plans to behead Rob Van Dam. Rob Van Dam runs into the ropes. Scorpio Jr. hits Rob Van Dam in the back with a chair. James Beard threatens Sabu the Beheader with disqualification. Sabu the Beheader hits a bodyslam on Rob Van Dam. Sabu the Beheader leaves the ring. He returns with a chair. Sabu the Beheader takes the chair. Sabu the Beheader takes Rob Van Dam down with a ropeflip moonsault with the chair. James Beard counts: One, two, three. Security guards are restraining some fans from hitting the ring. The winner is Sabu the Beheader. Time of match: 0:01:16 Sabu the Beheader pinned Rob Van Dam after a ropeflip moonsault in 0:01:16. Rating: ** The rest of 'El Taliban' come out to attack Rob Van Dam, but then Hacksaw Jim Duggan comes out with a 2x4, but El Taliban and Sabu manage to subdue him. But then Animal and Johnny Grunge come out to even the sides, forcing El Taliban and Sabu the Beheader to retreat, for now. RETURNING SOON: The Abortionist Meanwhile, the Illegal Immigrants declare that their belts are the only things keeping them in America. During the match, Sexual Harris-ment came out and interfered to help John Bradshaw Layfield. Triple H also came out to attack Bradshaw (due to his title shot against Kevin Nash). But the match ended like this. Ron Harris throws John Bradshaw Layfield a fire extinguisher. John Bradshaw Layfield hits El Dandy with it and goes for the pin. Danny Davis counts: One, two, three. John Bradshaw Layfield smiles like an idiot. The winners are John Bradshaw Layfield and Shawn Stasiak. Time of match: 0:09:26 John Bradshaw Layfield and Shawn Stasiak defeated The Illegal Immigrants when JBL pinned Dandy after hitting him with a fire extinguisher in 0:09:26. Rating: * (John Bradshaw Layfield and Shawn Stasiak won the WWW Tag Team titles.) We cut to the back, where we see Animal walking, and then the Iron Sheik comes up to him and shakes his hand. "For too long, back in I-ran.. extremists.. I saloot yoo" Animal smiles and walks off and the Iron Sheik picks up a Persian club and hits Animal with it. "No.. I shoot you.. Animal.. you do not mess wit my broothers" The Iron Sheik smiles as he is joined by El Taliban and Sabu the Beheader. But, then we see the departing Illegal Immigrants, and they begin to run and attack the Axis of Evil. A brawl breaks out in the back and we hear these words from El Dandy: "Taliban, Sabu, Sheik.. we may not be in this country legally, but we don't want to hurt it and we will kick your asses for doing so" Triple H gets ready, and he has 'The Big Gold Belt', a title which was awarded to him to make up for his lack of other titles. Meanwhile in the back, Jerry Flynn salutes his mullet. During the match, Jerry Flynn 'snapped' and began to beat Skip over the head with his nunchucks. Proving that Ninjas will snap and randomly kill people. Bodydonna Skip defeated Jerry Flynn by disqualification in 0:02:53. Rating: * John Bradshaw Layfield is walking though the back smiling with his belt. And then we see Kevin Nash getting out of a cop car behind him. Nash attacks Layfield and they get into a brawl. Which is broken up by security. Layfield yells out "I'M GOING TO TURN YOUR DAMN COUNTRY INTO A PARKING LOT NASH! I'M GOING TO TAKE YOUR BELT!" Meanwhile, Vince Russo reveals the opponent for Triple H: "Triple H.. yoo betrayed dis man a long time ago.. now.. he will get yoo.. Jim "Da Anvil" Nidehart!" Triple H pinned Jim Neidhart with the Pedigree in 0:03:46. Rating: 1/2* (Triple H retained the Big Gold Belt.) After the match, the lights went out for a moment, and when they came on, we see a STING mask laying down in the ring, Triple H looks to the sky and yells "STING! DO YOU TAUNT ME-UH?" as we fade to black

You want an exciting candidate? pick one of these guys! Sterling D. Allan (Utah) - Sterling Allan jumped into the Libertarian Presidential contest in October 2003. One month later, he exited the LP contest and entered the race for the Constitution Party nomination. Then -- realizing that the CP had more or less already settled on a nominee of its own -- Allan announced three weeks later that he would be the nominee of a new party he was founding named the New Awakening Party (but he'd still welcome the CP nomination). Then again, he doesn't seem entirely settled on the party's ultimate name, as the header of the web page for that entity read for a while: "New Awakening Party (or whatever name we end up choosing for it)." Well, the new name became the Providential Party. It remains to be seen, however, whether Allan will: (1) obtain ballot status anywhere; and (2) obtain ballot status as an Independent or under the party banner. Allan -- a former activist in Independent American Party of Utah (and an IAP nominee for State House in 1990) -- could essentially be described as a theocratic candidate. Of course, that would be within his own vision of what God is mandating as a self-described "Davidic Servant." From his various campaign websites (linked above and below), Allan is dedicated to establishing "Zion", which he defines as "the gospel and government of God working in harmony for the improvement and sanctification of all things. The kingdom of heaven on earth." As for his political views, he explains: "I agree with most of the Republican platform, to which the party gives but lip service, while their actions bespeak more of a move toward a cradle-to-grave socialist state." Where he gets a bit ... umm ... different is when he wrote that his own 2004 candidacy was "foretold in Alphabetics Bible Code." Born and raised as a Mormon, the LDS Church excommunicated Allan for "apostasy" (extremist beliefs related to his religious writings) in 1993. Since then, he has devoted nearly all his time to working to create his vision of God's Kingdom on Earth (and he also sells survivalist emergency supplies online). He also maintains that his election is essential to avoid the coming of World War III. See his various sites for more information: SterlingDAllan.com (personal site), Patriot Saints for the Kingdom of God on Earth (Allan's organization), GreaterThings.com (another Allan organization), RemnantSaints.com (another Allan organization), the Remnant Saints Inter-Continental Congress (another Allan organization), the International Patriot Alliance (another Allan organization), JosephPrep.com (Allan's company), and many, many more. FYI: He wrote that the reason he quit the Libertarian contest was because of the LP's "stance on social issues and lack of acknowledgement that a group of people willfully united takes on a life of its own and has rights." Allan also intends to seek the Presidential "endorsement" of the the US Independent American Party, Constitution Party, and other conservative parties in order to run as a "fusion" candidate. Amusingly, Allan's campaign chairman sent us an email explaining that we should recognize Allan as a real party nominee and not as an Independent candidate: "Please don't treat his campaign like the campaign of Joe Bellis, Da Vid, and Bob Dorn (independents who make-up a party) and group him with those weirdos. Please give him and his VP (who will be announced by Jan 15) the same treatment" as other nominees of established parties. We'll respond to that note with a polite: "No comment." Jack Grimes (Pennsylvania) - Jack Grimes -- who previously ran for President as a write-in candidate in 2000 -- bills himself as the "Leader and Director of the United Fascist Union." As for his use of the word "Fascist," Grimes explains he wants to restore a New World Order based upon the governmental style of Imperial Rome "to institute a military dictatorship form of government over the Earth." Grimes believes that "the psychic is the next great step in the evolution of humankind on this planet." And it gets more weird: Grimes wants to address "the dilemmas now facing America and the whole of Western civilization: Democracy, Christianity, International Capitalism, Earth Changes, U.F.O.'s, government cover-ups, and others." Citing to Cayce and Nostradamus, Grimes predicts that "the United States will be reduced from its present size to a small triangular-shaped land mass through the loss of many of its coastal states." While those quotes come from his old 2000 campaign site, his 2004 is equally entertaining. Be sure to visit the "Pictures" page to view Grimes and his girlfriend (presumably) posing in their homemade black uniforms ... and to view pictures of them eating at different local restaurants. Or visit the "Speeches" page to read Grimes' 1998 remarks delivered to the "Flying Saucer Society of Dover, DE." Best of all is the Discussion Boards section of his site, in which Grimes exalts his followers to worship Satan -- plus you can read about the problem he was having getting to a campaign event in another state (because Mom's car was broken, etc.). While Grimes failed to achieve ballot status in any states in 2000, he falsely boasts on his site that he was on the ballot in 45 states and placed 6th in the race. Muadin (Massachusetts) - Muadin -- yup, he just uses one name -- is an announced write-in candidate for President. His slogan is a New Age-sounding mantra of "One People, One Planet, One Awareness." Muadin writes he is the candidate of the "E-Democratic Party" -- an unknown entity which he apparently created. What does he stand for? Here are his own words: "The people of earth must use the Internet to network and organize at the grassroots level, outside of the corporate global power structure, in a leaderless revolution of awareness and ideas, a second enlightenment, aimed at establishing e-democracy at every level of human government and in every aspect of human society and affairs. The e-democratic spirit of this leaderless cyber-revolution must culminate in a planetary e-democratic federal government through which all executive, legislative, judicial, and economic power ultimately rests directly in the hands of the people of earth." This focus includes is a requirement that Congressmen and US Senators must vote based upon e-votes on each issue cast by their constitutuents -- and that the federal government be changed from three branches into five branches (don't ask!). Other positions in his platform include a 10% flat tax, abolition of the death penalty, a constitutional ban on political parties (so all candidates must run as Independents), federal term limits, separate national election of the Vice President, repeal of the Second Amendment (gun rights) ... in fact, when we last checked, Muadin was proposing 18 constitutional amendments. If you dig through Muadin's off-beat campaign site, you can also find pix of Muadin badly cropped into poses in the White House ... and a picture of "future First Lady" Jessica Muadin (who, unlike her husband, has a full name). Muadin describes himself as a motivational speaker and President of the Planet Pilgrims Center for E-Democracy and Planetary Awareness. Lawrence Rey Topham (Utah) - Larry Topham -- who declares on his campaign site that his "favorite food" is "wheat" -- is the quintessential perennial candidate. Over the past 28 years, Topham has run for Salt Lake City Mayor (1995, 1999, 2003), US Senate (1994), Salt Lake City Council (1993), Utah Governor (1992, 1988), Congress (1990), and President (1976, 1996, 2000) -- and there are probably more that we missed, as he sometimes runs as a write-in candidate. And, over those years, he has run as both an Independent and as a nominee of various third parties. Topham is also a bit eccentric. A 68-year-old retiree, he is a zealous advocate of returning the US to the gold standard -- and he refuses to recognize the validity of the dollars (Federal Reserve Notes) currently in use as they are backed by neither silver nor gold. In a 1998 incident, he entered the closed Utah Capitol building near midnight by falsely telling a guard that he worked there. When police officers later found him in the rest room, Topham claimed to be the Secretary of State and declared he was there to seize the Capitol. He was arrested by use of pepper spray, according to court documents. At other times, Topham has declared various officeholders illegitimate, claiming they either didn't properly file their oath of office certificates or didn't pay their filing fees with gold or silver. Topham still persists with these claims, as his 2004 Presidential site declares Topham is currently the "Secretary of State of the State of Utah and Acting Governor during martial law." In fact, Topham apparently declared martial law in Utah in November 1997 because everyone is using that "fake" money not backed by gold/silver -- which, he declared, now makes him the Governor of Utah. Further, "Governor" Topham has decreed that anyone who works to elect any candidate he deems an unauthorized candidate (i.e., just about every candidate who qualifies for the ballot) is "participating in an unofficial election to overthrow the constitutional government of the State of Utah and its counties and is forbidden by law, and may well be an act of treason." Amusingly, "Secretary of State" Topham even regularly issues his own certificate of official election results (note: candidates named Topham won 4 out the top 8 ballot offices in his 2002 certificate). In addition to the above-linked campaign site, other Topham sites include: Topham for Governor 2004, About Truth, Freedom, Zion, and the The Constition, Topham for President Blog, Topham for President Blog #2, Official Office of Lawrence Rey Topham, Acting Utah Governor, State of Utah, Secretary of State Lawrence Rey Topham, 2002 A.D., and The Constitution: Sound. A related link: Salt Lake City Weekly: Larry Topham's Patriot Games. Topham for President!

what's the noise coming from? just asking oh, it's Rant's avatar.. 1) define treachery please 2) maybe, maybe not

fuck those pussies

Have you ever heard of Richard Kuklinski? He killed people by spraying cyanide on them. One time he froze a guy, thawed him out and left him in the woods, but he still had ice in his blood. Granted, you won't get Cyanide Spray just anywhere, you lazy bastard. Also, ever heard of how Georgi Markov died? Umbrella which stabbed him and shot a thing of ricin into him. Good luck finding that. As for the poisoned person. Cut them to pieces and try to get most of the blood in the toilet. Or type up a suicide note, put the corpse in your car, drive to bridge, put the note on the corpse and throw it in the river.

WWW = ratings

ram the guy into the turnbuckle, then you could give him another move from there

The WWW does more development of feuds than most serious feds.. Triple H/Sting, Nash/Layfield, Hall/Roberts, Kane/Chyna, Axis of Evil/Americans And we're sorta getting 'gang wars' ish.. a few shows from now will be the WWW PPV 'Bad June Rising'

The dance reminds me of someone being electrocuted in a chair

Mordecai can always PM me if he wants ideas. Trust me, WWW kicks the shit out of WWE when it comes to 'stuff to offend sensitive wusses'

They could be girls too.. you never know

Can you tell me when a guy who is sentenced to 'life without parole' has been released? And how is this not done with "life without parole"? The option should be left there and there's people who probably deserve such a fate.

LAST TIME ON WORLD'S WORST WRESTLING: A new champion was crowned! [We see Kevin Nash partying in a strip club as girls give him lapdances] And some other champions were crowned! [The Illegal Immigrants are shown with the belts] And stars were born! [We see the Zombies in action] And we have Triple H! [stillshot of Triple H] Tonight, expect more of the same! We fade to Vince Russo's office, where we see his ominous outline "You no.. last show.. some of this stuff ain't flying.." "Derefor.. I gotta award some and puniss odas" "Tonight, Algernon and David Flair Classic, you will be punished for your sins!" "You will face the Zombies, in a Dungeon of Doom match!" "Which Zombies will it be? I don't know, they're fricking Zombies. But, Zombie Shawn Stasiak, your gimmick is different now, you will be Meat 2000, the sex slave of the Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young" "Tonight, Kevin Nash will team with Scott Hall to face Triple H and a partner of his choice in a 'tap the keg or lose a leg' strap match, where the winners will get to drink all night, and the losers will have their legs broken" "And tonight, I am inviting WWW superstars to recite an essay of 100 words or less, live tonight, telling me why they should get a shot at WWW Champion Kevin Nash. Enjoy the Sports Entertainment" -- Jerry Flynn recieves confirmation that he was hired due to a typo. Essay #1 - from Jerry Flynn "I should receive a title shot due to my awesome mullet and my karate skills. I'm due to freak out and kill somebody at any time. Therefore, I might freak out and kill Kevin Nash. Oh, crap. That's not good, is it? Um, please?" Essay #2 - from Meat 2000 "I have tape recordings of Kevin Nash in comprimising positions, give me the title shot and I will destroy the recordings. That is all." Meat 2000 pinned Jerry Flynn after a powerslam in 0:04:44. Rating: 3/4* Essay #3 - from Jerry Lynn - Sex Addict "I want a title shot because I am the best wrestler" *BZZZZTTT* "Because of my victories" *BZZZT* "Because I have a libido the size of Texas. I just want to hump on somebody's bones. G's up. Hoes Down" Essay #4 - from Animal "I want a title shot because I would pound the crap out of Kevin Nash, and then I would finally become relevant. Tell em Hawk. Oh.. yeah..." Jerry Lynn, Sex Addict pinned Animal with the Piledriver in 0:03:08. Rating: ** Essay #5 - from Johnny Grunge "La dee la dee la dee who likes to party? La dee la dee la dee who likes to party? La dee la dee la dee who likes to party? You gotta get up to get down! Everybody! Everybody! Give me a title shot!" Essay #6 - from JBL "I SHOULD GET A TITLE SHOT BECAUSE OF ALL THESE FUCKING ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS! THEY'RE COMING TO THIS COUNTRY AND THEY THINK THEY CAN TAKE OUR JOBS! LET ME TELL YOU THIS! KEVIN NASH AIDED IN THE TRANSIT OF AN ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT AND I AM PISSED OFF OVER IT! LET ME TELL YOU THIS! KEVIN NASH, I WILL PUT MY FOOT UP YOUR ASS! I WILL SODOMIZE YOU! I WILL MAKE YOU MY BITCH! KEVIN NASH! LET ME DEMONSTRATE MY WORTHINESS!" [We cut to a video of Bradshaw at the Canadian border confronting some Canadians] "GET THE HELL OUT OF MY COUNTRY YOU HOSERS!" [Cut back to Bradshaw] "Therefore, that is why I should face Kevin Nash" Meanwhile, Kane has an offer for Lita, Lita will give him oral sex, Kane will give her 100 dollars, but before Lita can accept the offer, Chyna comes out to bash Kane for his actions. Vince Russo shows up and begins offering Lita and Chyna money if they would french kiss. John Bradshaw Layfield pinned Johnny Grunge with the Clothesline From New York in 0:06:32. Rating: -3/4* We find that the new fourth zombie is Bob Backlund Essay #7 - from Zombie Maven "BRAAAAAAAIIIIINSSSSSS! BBBBBRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAIIIIIINSSSSSSS" Essay #8 - from Zombie Bob Backlund "There.. is.. no.. way out of the Crossface Chickenwing! I will procure it.. on Kevin Nash.. and establish my revenge on him!" Essay #9 - from Algernon "It is my estimate that as the World's Smartest Man, I will defeate Kevin Nash using my brains to----" Then we cut away to see that Triple H has arrived. WHO WILL HIS PARTNER BE? Essay #10 - from David Flair Classic "Let me tell you this, WHOOOOOOOOO!!! Kevin Nash, you ain't got nothing chump! Space Mountain still has the longest line!" The Four Horsemen (Algernon and David Flair Classic) defeated Zombie Bob Backlund and Zombie Maven when Algernon made Backlund submit to the Texas Cloverleaf in 0:03:41. Rating: * 1/4 We see Raven in the front row. We don't know if he has a ticket, or if he works for the company. Essay #11 - from Shaggy 2 Dope "YO MOTHERFUCKER! YOU GOTTA GIVE ME THE TITLE SHOT! I'M A FUCKING INSANE CLOWN YO! THE JUGGALO ARMY WILL PROPELL ME OVER KEVIN NASH!" Essay #12 - from David Flair "Um, I would really like to face Kevin Nash because I think I cou-- AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! I'M BEING PUMMELLED!" At this moment, Doink is attacking David Flair with a steel chair Essay #13 - from Doink "I will come to kill you all in your sleep because of what you did to me. Kevin Nash, all these people laughed at me. BUT WHO'S LAUGHING NOW?" "Um, I am" "AAAAHHHHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA" Doink The Clown pinned Shaggy 2 Dope with the Whoopie Cushion in 0:04:23. Rating: DUD (David Flair no-showed.) After the match, Doink beats Shaggy 2 Dope senseless. Essay #14 - from Bodydonna Skip "Seriously, give me the title shot, I don't care that more people like Tammy. Give me a title shot and she will get naked. What, you've seen those pictures? Damnit, well, get your asses in shape, because I'm going to kick them!" Essay #15 - from Mo, on behalf of Viscera "Kevin Nash, King Mabel will kick your ass because he's done it before. Right? Well, anyways, Kevin Nash, trust me, this isn't 1995. Viscera's going to sit on your face" Viscera pinned Bodydonna Skip with the Big Splash in 0:05:24. Rating: -* 1/4 Essay #16 - from Kane "Kevin Nash, I know you like a book, and I have the ability to shoot lightning. Therefore, I want a title shot and I'm willing to get it in a battle royal" Essay #17 - from Chyna "Kevin Nash, trust me, I am able to take on m--" Triple H walks past the scene and stares at Chyna "Take me back Hunter! Take me back!" Kane pinned Chyna after a low blow in 0:01:09. Rating: -1/2* What does this mean for Chyna's gender? stay tuned! Sexual Harris-ment defeated La French Guys when D. Harris pinned S. Grenier with the Big Boot in 0:02:18. Rating: -1/2* Essay #18 - from La French Poodle "Well.." "Poodles don't talk.. not in noo yawk" Essay #19 - from Cochese "Kevin Nash, I will avenge my loss to you! I deserve another shot at the WWW title for that reason!" La French Poodle pinned Cochese with the Cruel Intentions in 0:04:25. Rating: * 1/4 Meanwhile in the back, Vince Russo finds out that the Midnight Express is not a tag team that is recently out of a Turkish prison. Russo grumbles. The Illegal Immigrants and The Midnight Express battled to a double countout in 0:02:35. Rating: 1/4* (The Illegal Immigrants retained the WWW Tag Team titles.) After the match, JBL and Sexual Harrisment attack the Illegal Immigrants. They declare themselves to be "The INS" Essay #20 - from the Rookie "Let me tell you this Kevin Nash, I might sorta be Buff Bagwell, but I know that I will be buff enough to kick your face in. Trust me. I'm Buff and I'm the St--" *BZZZZT* "I got a short fuse man!" Essay #21 - from Todd "Dude, if you don't give me a title shot, I will be totally forced to whoop your ass, okay? Kevin Nash, you know that it's time for me to the be the champion" Essay #22 - from Rudy "Mr. Russo, I know that I might be too small to be the WWW champion, but I make up for it with my hard work and my determination to never give up. So, just give me a chance. I won't let you down." Todd pinned The Rookie after a fallaway slam in 0:07:00. Rating: 1/4* Vince Russo comes out to announce the winner of the contest.. and the winner is.. JOHN BRADSHAW LAYFIELD Meanwhile, Rob Van Dam volunteers to be Triple H's partner. Triple H doesn't notice him. [Tap the Keg or Lose a Leg]: Strap Match: The Outsiders defeated Triple H and Rob Van Dam when Hall pinned RVD with the Outsider Edge in 0:04:40. Rating: * Kevin Nash and Triple H brawled into the crowd during the match, leaving Hall and RVD to finish it. But, before the stipulation could be acted out on Rob Van Dam. Jake Roberts hobbles out and breaks a liquor bottle over Scott Hall's head, distracting people from the stipulation. We fade to black as we see Triple H and Kevin Nash fighting in the back. NEXT SHOW: Kevin Nash defends the WWW title against John Bradshaw Layfield

Come on and tell us about the highways and interstates in your area. Here's the ones in the KC area. US24 (which is really close to where I am) - And it's always fun to go out and drive about 65 on it in the more rural areas US40 - goes across Southern Independence, and also piggybacks off of I-70 US50 - Look at it on a map, I think the person who designed it was on something. All those sudden curves. I-70 - Goes across Missouri I-435 - Yep Other thoughts: If you've ever been though the Grandview Triangle, you would know that it is a clusterfuck. How about in your area?

Here's the card for show #3 MAIN EVENT- WWW TITLE: Kevin Nash © v. John Bradshaw Layfield Triple H and Rob Van Dam will be in singles action to make up for the lack of having their legs broken last show Punishment matches: Animal v. Jake "The Snake" Roberts Diaper Match: Jerry Lynn - Sex Addict v. X-Pac Doink v. David Flair Classic Kane and a female partner v. Chyna and a male partner Bunny v. Brian Christopher The New Insane Clown Posse (Violent J and a partner) face Cochese and the Rookie Meat 2000 v. Algernon The Zombies (Backlund, Iaukea, Iron Sheik and Maven) v. The Illegal Immigrants, Johnny Grunge and Rey Misterio Jr

Matt Hardy's a fucking liar

She has a sister? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIINNNGGG

People are stupid -=Mike

so.. when did Victoria turn into a dancing machine?

did anybody get a screencap of that?

KANE JUST WANTS SOME LOVE!

Eugene for Prime Minister.. mustn't make Chirac joke..

and the fans go wild for Eugene.. of course

they're not in Canada, they're in Quebec

What a place for a title switch