Rob E Dangerously

From Show #1: Handicap-Ladder Match: Kevin Nash defeated Low Ki, Jerry Lynn and A.J. Styles in 0:36:33. Rating: ** Kevin Nash is on his way up. Kevin Nash is half-way up. Kevin Nash is almost on top of the ladder. Kevin Nash is in grabbing distance. Kevin Nash has retrieved the lifetime contract with the WWE. Security guards are restraining some fans from hitting the ring. The winner is Kevin Nash. Time of match: 0:36:25 Meanwhile in the back, David Arquette is hit by a White Hummer From Show #2: Vince Russo comes out to criticize Flair, Steamboat, HHH and Michaels for their matches on the last show, chiding their matches as 'boring'. Russo has a solution, he will have four special matches for these four men. The matches will be as follows: HHH v. Duke the Dumpster in a Dumpster match HBK v. Marty Jannetty in a 'blindfold' match Ric Flair v. Giant Gonzalez in a ladder match Rick Steamboat v. Zeus Banana on a Pole Match: Shane McMahon and Stacy Keibler defeated The Mean Street Posse when S. Keibler pinned Rodney with the Spin Wheel Kick in 0:11:33. Rating: -** 1/2 Ladder Match: El Gigante defeated Ric Flair in 0:11:39. Rating: DUD Ric Flair is inching his way towards the ropes. Ric Flair escapes from the hold after being trapped for 12 seconds. El Gigante tries to climb the ladder. El Gigante is on his way up. El Gigante is half-way up. El Gigante is almost on top of the ladder. El Gigante is in grabbing distance. El Gigante has retrieved the keys to Ric Flair's car. The crowd is giving El Gigante a standing ovation. The winner is El Gigante. Time of match: 0:11:36 Show #3: 25,000 Volt Exploding Wooden Board Falls-Count-Anywhere Match: Dave Sullivan made Ahmed Johnson submit to the Inverted Bearhug in 0:06:12. Rating: -* 3/4 After the match, Bradshaw ran down to the ring and hit Dave Sullivan with a Clothesline from hell, before putting him in an Inverted Bearhug while asking Sullivan who his daddy was. [Marriage Consumation Match, winners get to.. uh.. you know]: The Hardy Boyz defeated Lodi and Lenny Lane when M. Hardy pinned Lane after a DDT in 0:06:27. Rating: DUD After the match, Randy Savage showed up for no reason, giving Jeff Hardy an elbowdrop, which punctured both his lungs. Matt Hardy decided to just randomly try to turn heel again. ... Car Match: Kevin Nash defeated El Gigante in 0:36:07. Rating: -***** Kevin Nash charges in with a clothesline. Kevin Nash tries to put El Gigante in Ric Flair's car. Kevin Nash stuffs El Gigante in Ric Flair's car. Kevin Nash closes the car. The arena is exploding in a chorus of boos. The winner is Kevin Nash. Time of match: 0:36:05 Nash drives off in Ric Flair's car.. well.. actually, the car stalls. Then X-Pac and Marty Jannetty comes out with a lawnmower and jumper cables to give the car some juice. ... This contest is a ladder-no-DQ-no-countout-match scheduled for one fall. Introducing first... Fighting out of Planned Parenthood... Weighing in at 265 pounds... The Abortionist His opponent... Fighting out of San Antonio, Texas... Weighing in at 234 pounds... "The Heartbreak Kid" Shawn Michaels They lock up. Shawn Michaels whips The Abortionist into the ropes. The Abortionist nails Shawn Michaels with an ax kick. The Abortionist runs into the ropes. The Abortionist misses with a shoulderblock. Shawn Michaels uses a bodyslam on The Abortionist. Shawn Michaels goes for a flying elbowdrop, but The Abortionist rolls out of the way. The Abortionist hits a side suplex on Shawn Michaels. The Abortionist works the crowd. Quite a few boos are audible. The Abortionist uses a side suplex on Shawn Michaels. The Abortionist goes for an abdominal stretch, but Shawn Michaels reverses it. The Abortionist escapes from the hold after being trapped for 5 seconds. Shawn Michaels executes a forearm smash on The Abortionist. Shawn Michaels goes for a German suplex, but The Abortionist counters it with a go-behind. The Abortionist tries to climb the ladder. The Abortionist is on his way up. Shawn Michaels pulls him back down. Shawn Michaels nails The Abortionist with a dropkick. Shawn Michaels hits a headlock takedown on The Abortionist. Shawn Michaels gets an armbar submission on The Abortionist. The Abortionist tries to escape the hold. The Abortionist escapes from the hold after being trapped for 14 seconds. Shawn Michaels tries to climb the ladder. Shawn Michaels is on his way up. The Abortionist knocks over the ladder with a dropkick. The Abortionist throws Shawn Michaels out of the ring. The Abortionist goes through the ropes. The Abortionist knocks Shawn Michaels into the ringsteps. The Abortionist whips Shawn Michaels into the guardrail. Shawn Michaels is busted wide open. The Abortionist knocks Shawn Michaels into the ringsteps. The Abortionist is starting to get under the crowd's skin. The Abortionist whips Shawn Michaels into the guardrail. The Abortionist hits Shawn Michaels with a brain buster. They're brawling inside the ring area. The Abortionist knocks Shawn Michaels into the ringpost. The Abortionist whips Shawn Michaels into the guardrail. The Abortionist works the crowd. Quite a few boos are audible. They're brawling inside the ring area. The Abortionist knocks Shawn Michaels into the ringpost. The Abortionist takes Shawn Michaels down with a left hook. The Abortionist is handed a small sword. The Abortionist hits him with the small sword. The Abortionist is starting to get under the crowd's skin. The Abortionist stabs him with a small sword. The Abortionist grabs a chair. The Abortionist sets up the chair. The Abortionist goes for a Soviet suplex, but Shawn Michaels blocks it. Shawn Michaels uses a German suplex on The Abortionist. Shawn Michaels knocks The Abortionist into the ringpost. Shawn Michaels executes a punch on The Abortionist. The Abortionist is busted wide open. Shawn Michaels whips The Abortionist into the guardrail. They're brawling inside the ring area. Shawn Michaels hits The Abortionist with an inverted atomic drop. Shawn Michaels whips The Abortionist into the guardrail. They're brawling inside the ring area. Shawn Michaels nails The Abortionist with a punch. Shawn Michaels goes for an armdrag takedown, but The Abortionist blocks it. The Abortionist sets up a table. The Abortionist sets up Shawn Michaels on the table. The Abortionist executes the Alley Way Special through the table. The table is broken in half. The Abortionist whips Shawn Michaels into the guardrail. The Abortionist takes Shawn Michaels down with an ax kick. The Abortionist whips Shawn Michaels into the guardrail. The Abortionist goes for an ax kick, but Shawn Michaels blocks it Shawn Michaels knocks The Abortionist into the ringpost. There are lots of chants for Shawn Michaels. Shawn Michaels reenters the ring. The Abortionist follows him back in. Shawn Michaels whips The Abortionist into the turnbuckle. Shawn Michaels runs shoulder-first into the corner. Shawn Michaels executes the Superkick on The Abortionist. The crowd is going crazy. Shawn Michaels goes for a punch, but The Abortionist reverses it. Shawn Michaels is bleeding like hell. The Abortionist executes the Alley Way Special on Shawn Michaels. The crowd is booing The Abortionist. The Abortionist uses an ax kick on Shawn Michaels. The Abortionist whips Shawn Michaels into the ropes. The Abortionist executes a Samoan Drop on Shawn Michaels. The Abortionist works the crowd. The crowd is booing The Abortionist. The Abortionist throws Shawn Michaels out of the ring. The Abortionist goes through the ropes. The Abortionist whips Shawn Michaels into the guardrail. The Abortionist is handed a chain. The Abortionist hits him with the chain. A wave of boos is going through the crowd. The Abortionist nails Shawn Michaels with a Samoan Drop. The Abortionist knocks Shawn Michaels into the ringpost. The Abortionist uses a stomachbreaker on Shawn Michaels. The Abortionist whips Shawn Michaels into the guardrail. The Abortionist whips Shawn Michaels into the guardrail. The Abortionist whips Shawn Michaels into the guardrail. The Abortionist grabs a chair. The Abortionist takes a running start and springs off the chair. The Abortionist nails Shawn Michaels with a dropkick. The Abortionist knocks Shawn Michaels into the ringsteps. A wave of boos is going through the crowd. They're brawling inside the ring area. They're brawling inside the ring area. Shawn Michaels takes The Abortionist down with a kick to the midsection. Shawn Michaels throws The Abortionist back into the ring. Shawn Michaels uses a back suplex on The Abortionist. Shawn Michaels uses a dropkick on The Abortionist. Shawn Michaels sets the ladder back up. Shawn Michaels tries to climb the ladder. Shawn Michaels is on his way up. Shawn Michaels is half-way up. Shawn Michaels is almost on top of the ladder. Shawn Michaels is in grabbing distance. Shawn Michaels dives for the fetus, but he misses. The Abortionist uses a side suplex on Shawn Michaels. The Abortionist whips Shawn Michaels into the turnbuckle. The Abortionist charges into the corner, but Shawn Michaels moves out of the way. Shawn Michaels throws The Abortionist out of the ring. Shawn Michaels goes through the ropes. Shawn Michaels nails The Abortionist with an armdrag takedown. Shawn Michaels throws The Abortionist back into the ring. Shawn Michaels whips The Abortionist into the turnbuckle. Shawn Michaels chops The Abortionist. The crowd is going crazy. Shawn Michaels kicks The Abortionist. The crowd is behind Shawn Michaels all the way. The Abortionist executes a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker on Shawn Michaels. A fan at ringside badmouths The Abortionist. The Abortionist runs into the ropes. Shawn Michaels executes a bodyslam on The Abortionist. Shawn Michaels takes The Abortionist down with a flying elbowdrop. The chants for Shawn Michaels are deafening. Shawn Michaels executes the Superkick on The Abortionist. The crowd is behind Shawn Michaels all the way. Shawn Michaels tries to climb the ladder. Shawn Michaels is on his way up. Shawn Michaels is half-way up. Shawn Michaels is almost on top of the ladder. Shawn Michaels is in grabbing distance. The Abortionist knocks over the ladder with a shove. The Abortionist gives the sign for the Alley Way Special. The Abortionist executes the Alley Way Special on Shawn Michaels. The Abortionist is eliciting a sizable round of boos. The Abortionist sets the ladder back up. The Abortionist tries to climb the ladder. The Abortionist is on his way up. The Abortionist is half-way up. The Abortionist is almost on top of the ladder. The Abortionist is in grabbing distance. The Abortionist dives for the fetus, but he misses. Shawn Michaels is bleeding like hell. Shawn Michaels nails The Abortionist with a flying dropkick. The chants for Shawn Michaels are deafening. Shawn Michaels tries to climb the ladder. Shawn Michaels is on his way up. Shawn Michaels is half-way up. Shawn Michaels is almost on top of the ladder. Shawn Michaels is in grabbing distance. Shawn Michaels has retrieved the fetus. The chants for Shawn Michaels are deafening. The winner is Shawn Michaels. Time of match: 0:11:09 No-Countout-No-DQ-Ladder Match Shawn Michaels defeated The Abortionist in 0:11:12. Rating: * 1/4 Then, Trish Stratus runs out in anger and declares "HANDS OFF MY BODY", causing Shawn to take his hands off her boobs. Trish declares it's wrong for HBK to win that match, instead, that fetus should go with the Abortionist, who can use Canada's medical system to take care of it. Trish hits HBK low and tosses the fetus to the Abortionist, normally this would cause boos, but this is Trish, and it gets cheered. Kevin Nash reveals that he just had sex in Ric Flair's car with Chae. Flair then runs out in anger, only to run into the front of his car. Then, we see David Arquette, who is hit once again by the White Hummer. WHO IS IN THE HUMMER?!?! Show #4: Meanwhile, Bradshaw pledged to put the 'Screaming' back on Screaming Norman Smiley. [sodomy Match]: I-Quit Match: Norman Smiley made Bradshaw submit to the Norman Conquest in 0:08:05. Rating: *** Norman screams in celebration saying "Don't mess with me", he goes the Big Wiggle, before Vince Russo walks in and gives him the evil eye, commenting "Dat match was boring Norman! Why don't we bring Ralphus back?" Show #5: Viagra on a Pole Match: Honky Tonk Man pinned Jerry Lawler after hitting him with a foreign object in 0:05:29. Rating: ** 1/4 Honky Tonk Man takes the Viagra down, but then.. MACHO MAN RANDY SAVAGE hobbles down and steals the viagra. Our wheel hit 'Capture the Midget' Jeff Jarrett throws Paul Wight back into the ring. Jeff Jarrett executes the Stroke on Paul Wight. Jeff Jarrett is starting to get more cheers than boos. Jeff Jarrett tries to climb the ladder. Jeff Jarrett is on his way up. Jeff Jarrett is half-way up. Jeff Jarrett is almost on top of the ladder. Jeff Jarrett is in grabbing distance. Jeff Jarrett has retrieved the Midget. Jeff Jarrett is getting a pissed look amidst all the boos. The winners are X-Pac and Jeff Jarrett. Time of match: 0:11:19 [Capture the Midget]: Ladder Match for the vacant World's Worst Tag Team Titles: X-Pac and Jeff Jarrett defeated Sid Vicious and Paul Wight in 0:11:20. Rating: -*** (X-Pac and Jeff Jarrett won the World's Worst Tag Team Titles.) X-Pac and Jarrett celebrate with the belts, before the Midget summons out the mortal enemies of X-Pac and Jeff Jarrett: The Real Double J Jessee Jammess and XANTA XLAUS! They clean house. ... This contest is a ladder-no-DQ-no-countout-no-time-limit-match scheduled for one fall. It is for the Big Gold Belt. Introducing first... Fighting out of Hollywood... Weighing in at 140 pounds... "Former WCW Champion" David Arquette His opponent... Led to the ring by Ed Ferrara... Fighting out of Long Island... Weighing in at 180 pounds... The holder of the Big Gold Belt... "Vinnie Roo" Vince Russo Joining this match late: Vince Russo whips David Arquette into the turnbuckle. Vince Russo charges into the corner, but David Arquette lifts his leg. David Arquette goes for a kick to the thigh, but Vince Russo blocks it. Vince Russo tries to climb the ladder. Vince Russo is on his way up. Vince Russo is half-way up. Vince Russo is almost on top of the ladder. Vince Russo is in grabbing distance. Vince Russo dives for the Big Gold Belt, but he misses. David Arquette hits Vince Russo with a dropkick. David Arquette tries to climb the ladder. David Arquette is on his way up. David Arquette is half-way up. David Arquette is almost on top of the ladder. David Arquette is in grabbing distance. David Arquette dives for the Big Gold Belt, but he misses. The crowd is going into a frenzy. Vince Russo hits David Arquette with a diving lariat. Vince Russo tries to climb the ladder. Vince Russo is on his way up. Vince Russo is half-way up. Vince Russo is almost on top of the ladder. Vince Russo is in grabbing distance. Vince Russo dives for the Big Gold Belt, but he misses. *CLIP* David Arquette executes the Diamond Cutter on Vince Russo. The crowd is on its feet cheering for David Arquette. David Arquette hits Vince Russo with a dropkick. Vince Russo bumps into James Beard. David Arquette throws Vince Russo out of the ring. David Arquette goes through the ropes. David Arquette executes an elbowsmash on Vince Russo. David Arquette whips Vince Russo into the guardrail. David Arquette hits Vince Russo with a Northern Lights suplex. David Arquette knocks Vince Russo into the ringpost. David Arquette whips Vince Russo into the guardrail. David Arquette uses a belly-to-back suplex on Vince Russo. David Arquette reenters the ring. Vince Russo follows him back in. Vince Russo does the Bronco Buster. Vince Russo takes David Arquette down with a backward kick. Vince Russo executes the Crash TV on David Arquette. A wave of boos is going through the crowd. Vince Russo tries to climb the ladder. Vince Russo is on his way up. Vince Russo is half-way up. Vince Russo is almost on top of the ladder. Vince Russo is in grabbing distance. Vince Russo dives for the Big Gold Belt, but he misses. David Arquette goes for a back heel kick, but Vince Russo ducks out of the way. Vince Russo executes a punch on David Arquette. Vince Russo nails David Arquette with an avalanche. Vince Russo runs into the ropes. Vince Russo hits David Arquette with a diving lariat. Vince Russo whips David Arquette into the ropes. David Arquette hits Vince Russo with a kick. James Beard is back on the job. David Arquette throws Vince Russo out of the ring. David Arquette goes through the ropes. David Arquette whips Vince Russo into the guardrail. David Arquette goes for a bodyslam, but Vince Russo blocks it. Vince Russo takes David Arquette down with a punch. Vince Russo uses a punch on David Arquette. Vince Russo knocks David Arquette into the ringsteps. Vince Russo hits a punch on David Arquette. Vince Russo goes for a clothesline, but David Arquette ducks out of the way. David Arquette knocks Vince Russo into the ringsteps. David Arquette whips Vince Russo into the guardrail. They're brawling inside the ring area. David Arquette hits Vince Russo with a kick to the thigh. Ed Ferrara comes from behind and distracts David Arquette. Vince Russo hits a clothesline on David Arquette. Vince Russo takes David Arquette down with an ax kick. Ed Ferrara comes from behind and distracts David Arquette. They're brawling inside the ring area. David Arquette knocks Vince Russo into the ringsteps. The crowd erupts. Ed Ferrara comes from behind and distracts David Arquette. Vince Russo goes for a clothesline, but David Arquette counters it with a belly-to-belly suplex. David Arquette goes for a jack-knife power bomb, but Vince Russo counters it with a backdrop. Vince Russo whips David Arquette into the guardrail. Vince Russo uses a big boot on David Arquette. Vince Russo reenters the ring. David Arquette follows him back in. Vince Russo executes the Crash TV on David Arquette. Vince Russo hits David Arquette with a backward kick. Vince Russo executes a clothesline on David Arquette. Vince Russo hits a diving lariat on David Arquette. Vince Russo hits a clothesline on David Arquette. Vince Russo hits a diving lariat on David Arquette. Vince Russo runs into the ropes. David Arquette hits Vince Russo with a shoulderblock. David Arquette executes the Diamond Cutter on Vince Russo. The crowd is giving David Arquette a standing ovation. David Arquette tries to climb the ladder. David Arquette is on his way up. David Arquette is half-way up. David Arquette is almost on top of the ladder. David Arquette is in grabbing distance. David Arquette has retrieved the Big Gold Belt. The crowd is on its feet cheering for David Arquette. The winner is David Arquette. Time of match: 0:24:16 Russo breaks down in tears as Arquette claims the belt. Russo, in his tears, declares "Next show.. Russo.. Arquette... steel cage" Show #6: Triple H declares that Kane killed Mother Theresa, "but the question is, did you screw her while she was alive, or after she died?" ... [Corpse Fuckin Match]: Ladder Match: Kurt Angle made Triple H submit to the Ankle Lock in 0:04:09. Rating: *** Angle celebrates after being the first person to ever win by submission in a ladder match. Angle then is swarmed by an army of disco dancers as HHH climbs the ladder and retrieve Katie Fick's panties. Vince Russo declares that since Kurt Angle didn't actually climb the ladder, HHH will move on in the tournament to face Kane next show. ... Chris Candido trains with the other Oompa Loompas in the back. Randy Savage sure would like to have some viagra. Viagra on a Pole Match: Randy Savage pinned Chris Candido with the Flying Elbow-Drop in 0:05:59. Rating: * 1/2 ... Cross Match: The Abortionist defeated Shawn Michaels in 0:08:50. Rating: ** 1/2 The Abortionist tries to put Shawn Michaels on the Cross. The Abortionist puts Shawn Michaels on the Cross. The attendants carry Shawn Michaels back to the locker room. The Abortionist further incites the crowd. Shawn Michaels ascends to heaven. The crowd cheers. Show #8: We see Vince Russo in the back talking with S.E.X., he has new Sports Entertainment gimmicks for Low-Ki, Elix and Chris Daniels. Low-Ki is now "Edgar the Iranian", Daniels is now "The Peace Advocate" ("People deez days hate peace, dey want War!") and Elix is now Elix Hitler ("You'll get alot of heel heat") ... Vince Russo talks with Sexual Harris-ment (Ron and Don Harris), they promise to Sexually Harris Bradshaw and A-Train Bradshaw is backstage, he declares that he's gonna tie the Harrises up and do them like hogs. Bradshaw brings out A-Train and declares that he loves the feeling of babyoil on back hair. [Round 1]: The Dangerhoss Alliance (The A-Train and Bradshaw) defeated Sexual Harris-ment when A-Train pinned R. Harris with the Baldo Bomb in 0:04:37. Rating: -1/2* ... Vince Russo tells Jerry Lynn that he has no personality and he renames Jerry to be "Sex Addict Jerry" ("But I'm not a sex addict!" "Jerry, man.. I gotta do kayfabay, you gotta be thinkin about sex 24-7. It gets ratings!") Kevin Nash pinned Sex Addict Jerry with the Jackknife Power Bomb in 0:00:53. Rating: 3/4* Show #9: Meanwhile, Jerry Lynn is surrounded by 40 unenthusiastic women. Lynn asks them to go away. Vince Russo charges in to yell at Lynn for breaking kayfabe. "If I didn't book you to lose tonight, I'd punish you for breaking kayfabe!" ... The Iraq Attaq defeated American Dragon and Kurt Angle when Credible pinned K. Angle with the Jumping DDT in 0:00:15. Rating: 1/2* But, when Angle and Dragon have to burn the stars and stripes, TEST runs out to declare "DON'T DO IT! THEY'LL ONLY PUT YOU IN A GIMMICK WHERE THEY MAKE A PUN ABOUT YOUR NUTS!" before he is shot by a tranquilizer and dragged off by Bradshaw. Then.. the lights go out.. and PYRO shoots out, setting the flag on fire.. Kane runs out to apologize for his error. Vince Russo runs out and then salutes Kane on a good job screwing up Kurt Angle's heel turn. Triple H gets brainfreeze from drinking his slurpee too fast ... Jake Roberts hits X-Pac with a legsweep. Jake Roberts tries to climb the ladder. Jake Roberts is on his way up. Jake Roberts falls off the ladder. Jake Roberts tries to climb the ladder. Jake Roberts is on his way up. Jake Roberts is half-way up. Jake Roberts is almost on top of the ladder. Jake Roberts is in grabbing distance. Jake Roberts has retrieved the crackpipe. Jake Roberts falls off the ladder The winner is Jake Roberts. Time of match: 0:09:25 Ladder Match: Jake Roberts defeated X-Pac in 0:09:29. Rating: 1/4* As doctors attempt to jumpstart Jake's heart. HHH comes out and tells X-Pac that he put up a good effort. HHH then collapses due to his feet being asleep. ... Triple H update: Still has a leg cramp. ... Barry Horowitz executes the Horowitz Roll-Up on Don Harris. Tim White counts: One, two, three. Barry Horowitz is met with a mixture of cheers and boos. Goldust, Barry Horowitz and Ahmed Johnson defeated Sexual Harris-ment and Elix Hitler when Horowitz pinned D. Harris with the Horowitz Roll-Up in 0:01:51. Rating: -1/2* As the Harrises and Elix are dragged to a gas chamber, they are stopped by The Revisionist (formerly Alex Wright) who declares that there were no gas chambers. Therefore, if they have to be punished like how the Nazis would do it, the Harris Brothers and Elix must be shot. Surprisingly, this caused a standing ovation. We interrupt this to show you a Triple H update.. Triple H update: right foot still asleep. Now, the Harrises and Elix are lined up in front of a firing squad, then suddenly, THE WALL runs out and attacks the guns men. Then suddenly GOLDBERG runs out, and TURNS HEEL ON JEWISH PEOPLE by saving Sexual Harris-ment. Goldberg then injures Elix again while rescuing him. ... This contest is a tag team match scheduled for one fall. It is for the World's Worst Tag Team Titles. The losers must perform Oral Sex on the winners. Introducing first... At a total combined weight of 266 pounds... Trish Stratus and Victoria Their opponents... At a total combined weight of 607 pounds... The World's Worst Tag Team Champions... The Outsiders Zenk the Ripper hits Scott Hall with his laptop. Danny Davis warns Victoria. Victoria executes the Slingshot Legdrop on Scott Hall. Victoria is getting a pissed look amidst all the boos. Victoria goes for the pin. Danny Davis counts: One, two, three. The crowd is wildly cheering Victoria with only a few scattered boos audible The winners are Trish Stratus and Victoria. Time of match: 0:07:51 Trish Stratus and Victoria defeated The Outsiders when Victoria pinned Hall with the Slingshot Legdrop in 0:07:51. Rating: 1/4* (Trish Stratus and Victoria won the World's Worst Tag Team Titles.) ... New Jack is arrested by the cops for possession of a deadly guitar. "Natural Born Killaz" plays as New Jack is led to a cop car. Meanwhile, Goldberg turns face and beats up Sexual Harris-ment and Elix Skipper A Card in May: the debut of MR. IRAQ Michael Cole walks out with his kilt on, and then here comes Mr. Iraq, and the fans go wild. Mr. Iraq is a small man in green tights, green boots, with a military outfit and a mask, and he's wearing a baret. Michael Cole objects to this, claiming the man is only Mohammad al-Sahhaf, but Mr. Iraq replies.. "I AM NOT MOHAMMAD AL-SAHHAF, INFIDEL! I WILL FORCE YOU TO DRINK POISON AND SURRENDER TO THE GREAT IRAQI ARMY WHICH IS COMING TO CRUSH MORE AMERICANS" and the fans go wild. Cole talks some, then "YOU ARE JUST LYING, THE AMERICANS NEVER CAME INTO BAGHDAD, THEY TOOK A TOWN IN ARIZONA CALLED BAGHDAD AND THEN STAGED THE STATUE THING!" Then John Ashcroft comes out. "Mr. Al-Sahhaf, you are trying to fool us, right? My god tells me that you will burn big time. Suuuuckkkkkaaaa!!!!!" Al-Sahhaf laughs and releases a calico cat on Ashcroft. Then, more music. IT'S WESLEY WILLIS! "Yo Al-Sahhaf, you're so wack man! you lie all the time. Mohammad Al-Sahhaf lied to me, lied to me, about the war and me, lied to me. Mohammad Al-Sahhaf lied to me, lied to me, about the war and me, lied to me. Mohammad Al-Sahhaf lied to me, lied to me, about the war and me, lied to me." Wesley then plays the keyboard, but he is arrested by the FBI also. But Al-Sahhaf has a closing statement. "What you gonna do, when the 24 inch scuds run wild on you!??? INFIDEL!" Fade to black -- New Card coming soon, I swear

If there are two inductees, here are my votes Kamui Rob Stone If there are four inductees, then here goes Kamui Rob Stone Unger MikeSC Mike, you understand that you put yourself in the crossfire by starting this thread (you put it in CE?? what??)

Nunzio is that 1AM EST or CST?

I guess there just wasn't enough time for Ashcroft or the DOJ people to ask "Hey FBI, where did you get this information from?" The Brigade is a front for something, that's for sure.

I don't think I lost my literacy, but it appears Israel killed a top commander, but not their new leader. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hamas

*chuckles*

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/5087301/

When's your graduation?: 9 days ago Are you going to your prom?: Went What are you doing afterwords/that weekend?: Nothing When's your prom?: 2 weeks ago Got a limo?: yes A tux/dress?: yes A date?: yes What college are you going to next year?: Community College What's your major?: hellifiknow Are you commuting or staying on campus?: commuting, duh If not college, what are you going to do?: Did you get any awards/scholarships?: no

Sting could always be looking for his 'Apprentice'.. who will probably end up turning heel on him anyways

Eagen Nunzio

Now, if they had the Rock continue the mocking.. that'd be enough to drive Eugene away.

Whoa..

HI MY NAME IS EUGENE

See? Kane just wants a companion!

Wait, it's that easy to get Lita in bed?

What's the question? JR? do you even pay attention to this show?

KANE JUST WANTS SOME LOVE!

I'm considering a return, maybe with Leon Sharpe. Although, the last thing I heard from my sources on Sharpe indicated he was being held by American forces in Iraq. But, you never know with Leon. Or my sources. Yeah.

wait.. we're not dependant on Oil, but on "Oil"?

"YYYYEEEEEEAH"

Konnan could feud with Scotty too Hotty

Does Dinsmore stay in character with the ring rats?

"Eugene is stupid" Ooooh

HELLO, MY NAME IS EUGENE

but he has a "burnt weiner" according to Tori and S-Pac. that wouldn't be the nastiest thing that Lita's let into her cooch