Rob E Dangerously

LITA FACT: Lita regularly vomits in the toilet, even before she got pregnant

MATT FACT: Matt's condom broke and he impregnated Lita

I wonder what Eugene's street clothes are

Eugene's debuting his new look tonight!

so.. they worked out their match in the limo with the action figures

that kid's a bastard

hey guys.. can you keep a secret?

so.. where does Kerry stand on "La Resistance"? I bet he's for them.. that french bastard.

That falcon is fucking hiliarious

Your announcers: Tony Schiavone and Jimmy Hart Card for tonight: OPENING SEGMENT - Roddy Piper comes down to the ring to rant about how Vince Russo has disgraced Pro Wrestling. In the middle of the segment, Sylvan Grenier comes down to the ring and starts to preposition Roddy Piper. Piper starts to attack him and then the Church of Sports Entertainment runs down and attacks Piper, hitting him in the hip with chairshots. Which leaves him laying BACKSTAGE: Macho Man Randy Savage and Brooke Hogan enter the building. BACKSTAGE: Nathan Jones slobbers as he talks about his experience attacking a naked Vince Russo. While Buff Bagwell insists that he will not job for anybody. BACKSTAGE: The Church of Sports Entertainment holds mass for the souls of their opponents. Nathan Jones and Buff Bagwell defeated The Church of Sports Entertainment when N. Jones pinned J. Dundee with the Choke Slam in 0:02:31. Rating: -1/4* BACKSTAGE: Brutus Beefcake confronts Randy Savage and challenges him to a match. BACKSTAGE: Sid rants and raves Submission Match: Sid made Dean Malenko submit to a chokehold in 0:05:52. Rating: 1/4* POST-MATCH: The Horsemen run down to the ring and hit Sid in the elbow with a chair. Injuring him in the process. BACKSTAGE: Deion Sanders declares that Meng and Stevie Ray will unleash a can of whoopass, but their new partner will also bring his technical skills to the ring. Their partner is 'ReBorne' BACKSTAGE: Triple H announces that they don't need a third partner tonight. But then Bodydonna Skip shows up and urges Triple H to let him tag with Luger and Evil Sting. Triple H notes that Candido has never won a match in World's Worst Wrestling. Skip says that he has that turned around and he will surprise the world. ReBorne, Meng and Stevie Ray defeated Evil Sting, Lex Luger and Bodydonna Skip when ReBorne pinned Luger after a DDT in 0:03:36. Rating: -* 1/2 POST-MATCH: Two men (Chuck Palumbo and Brakkus) come out of the crowd carrying a bag. They take out dodgeballs and throw them at Meng, Stevie Ray and ReBorne after the match. They then flee with Bodydonna Skip. Randy Savage pinned Brutus Beefcake with the Flying Elbow-Drop in 0:02:01. Rating: -*** 1/4 POST-MATCH: Savage takes a chair and hits Beefcake in the face with it multiple times. BACKSTAGE INTERVIEW: Scott Steiner talks about all the girls he had sex with while out of action. He declares that he's here for one reason and it will become obvious tonight. Handicap-Match: Scott Steiner defeated The Lost Boyz when S. Steiner made Azrael submit to the Steiner Recliner in 0:06:07. Rating: * 1/2 BACKSTAGE: Bob Backlund declares his intention of weakening Kane's arm in preparation for the procurment of the Crossface Chickenwing. Bob also declares that "The New American Idol is in the building" Kane pinned Bob Backlund with the Tombstone in 0:01:22. Rating: 3/4* POST-MATCH: A masked man with a t-shirt saying 'Your American Idol' runs into the ring and attempts a collar and elbow tieup with Kane. And then Jerry Lynn comes down to the ring and hits Kane with brass knuckles. Leaving him out cold in the ring. OVERSEEN ON THE BACKSTAGE CAMERAS: David Flair is served with papers declaring that Ric Flair has disowned him. David charges to the dressing room of the Horsemen, and they beat him into the ground. And we see Goldust in their dressing room. Ric Flair walks out of the room and he has an announcement. "WHOOOOOOO!!!! David! I'm sorry.. but.. you're not really my son.. you should have known that.. but i've decided to adopt a young man to carry on my legacy. I think you know him. He's my new son Dustin." Goldust walks out of the dressing room, wearing Flair's robe and a wig, rubbing his chest. Ric Flair - "Dustin, cut that out.. you know the only nipples you're touching will be on the women who ride Little Space Mountain!" Dustin Flair - "WHOOOOOOOO!" Ric Flair - "In fact Dustin.. i'm gonna cut back on wrestling.. so you'll be wrestling in my place tonight." Dustin Flair - "Thanks Dad!" BACKSTAGE INTERVIEW: La Resistance waves American flags and salutes the virtues of America. David Flair is nowhere to be seen. BACKSTAGE MOMENT: Arn Anderson and the Insane Clown Posse are having a personal chat about the spot of "Enforcer". Arn doesn't know what the hell a Juggalo is, but he's sure that the Clowns would be able to kick ass, somehow. DURING THE MATCH: David Flair came down mid-match and attacked Dustin Flair with his crowbar. La Resistance and David Flair defeated Four Horsemen 2000 (Dustin Flair, Shaggy 2 Dope and Violent J) when R. Dupree pinned Shaggy with the French Riviera in 0:06:02. Rating: -* BACKSTAGE: Lil Sexay is reading from a notebook. His former tag team partner Sylvan Grenier comes up to him, wrapping an arm around him and standing extra close to him. "So what are you reading?", he says while licking Christopher's ear. Lil Sexay moves down the hall. "I'm reading this advice on Kevin Nash about how to harness my power, goodbye!" BACKSTAGE: Jerry Lynn has a 'ho train' ready to satisfy his needs. "Pimps up, Hoes down" - Jerry Lynn DURING THE MATCH: Scott Steiner hung around ringside and attempted to flirt with Chyna. Jerry Lynn pinned Lil Sexay with the Piledriver in 0:03:36. Rating: * 1/4 Table Match: Sabu the Beheader defeated Johnny Grunge by putting him through a table in 0:00:54. Rating: * 1/4 POST-MATCH: Sabu lays Grunge out in the ring and picks up a sword. But then Los Immigrantes makes the save for Grunge BACKSTAGE: La Parka headbangs and air-guitars his chair.. and says nothing to Mean Gene OVERSEEN BACKSTAGE: Moments before the match, La Parka attacks Sadam with his chair, leaving him bloodied. Scorpio Jr and Emilio Charles Jr then declare that they'll beat up La Parka in a tag team match, if La Parka has a partner. IN-RING ACTION: La Parka goes for a vertical suplex, but Emilio Charles Jr. counters it with a small package. Earl Hebner counts: One, two, Jim Duggan makes the save. La Parka nails Emilio Charles Jr. with a Frankensteiner. Earl Hebner counts: One, two, Scorpio Jr. doesn't make it in time... three. The crowd is giving La Parka a standing ovation. The winners are Jim Duggan and La Parka. Time of match: 0:07:57 Jim Duggan and La Parka defeated Team Taliban (Emilio Charles Jr. and Scorpio Jr.) when Parka pinned Charles Jr. after a Frankensteiner in 0:07:57. Rating: -** 1/2 (Jim Duggan and La Parka won the WWW Tag Team titles.) Schiavone - "We just caught this on the security cameras, and it's the greatest ass-beating in the history of our industry" OVERSEEN ON THE 'WWW BACKSTAGE CAM': Members of the Japanese Yakuza confront the Outsiders, we overhear the word 'laxatives', and the Yakuza pound the Outsiders into a pulp with their brass knuckles BACKSTAGE INTERVIEW: Sexual Harris-ment is quite amused over the turn of events. Suddenly, we see Yakuza members showing up and the Harrises hand them bags with dollar signs on them before continuing their promo. PRE-MATCH: The Outsiders hobble down to the ring beaten and bloodied THE MATCH: Don Harris attacks Kevin Nash before the bell. Don Harris throws Kevin Nash out of the ring. Earl Hebner counts: one, Kevin Nash reenters the ring. Ron Harris enters the ring to make it two-on-one. Scott Hall enters the ring, but gets cut off. Don Harris and Ron Harris whip Kevin Nash into the ropes. They hit Kevin Nash with a double clothesline. Ron Harris leaves the ring. Don Harris takes Kevin Nash down with a waistlock suplex. Earl Hebner counts: One, kickout. Don Harris hits Kevin Nash with a snap mare. Don Harris is going for the pin. Earl Hebner counts: One, two, Scott Hall doesn't make it in time... three. Kevin Nash complains about a fast count. A portion of the crowd is booing Don Harris. The winners are Sexual Harris-ment. Time of match: 0:00:22 Sexual Harris-ment defeated The Outsiders when D. Harris pinned Nash after a snap mare in 0:00:22. Rating: -1/2* BACKSTAGE: Vince Russo talks to Glacier, Viscera, Alex Wright, Maven, Shawn Stasiak, Jake Roberts, Van Hammer and Jerry Flynn and informs them that they'll be in an elimination match due to fact that they have no feuds right now. Also, apparently Maven is now a mime. Elimination Match: Glacier, Viscera, Alex Wright and Maven beat Shawn Stasiak, Jake Roberts, Van Hammer and Jerry Flynn 4 falls to 1: x A. Wright beat Van Hammer via a moonsault bodyblock in 0:01:58 x A. Wright beat Stasiak via a dragon suplex in 0:02:38 x J. Flynn beat Glacier via the Cross-Armbreaker in 0:06:36 x A. Wright beat J. Flynn via the Reverse Neckbreaker in 0:11:24 x A. Wright beat J. Roberts via the Reverse Neckbreaker in 0:12:39 Survivors: Viscera, Alex Wright, Maven Rating: -* 1/2 POST-MATCH: Jake Roberts attacks Alex Wright, hitting him with a DDT. BACKSTAGE: Scott Steiner offers his services for $5,000 to any Gang Wars team that needs a 'Big Bad Booty Daddy'. Jerry Lynn walks up to him and tells him to 'Stay away from my woman' BACKSTAGE: Triple H tells Bodydonna Skip that he's on 'Team Game' with his two friends. Skip calls his friends 'The Purple Cobras' IN SOME MYST: Kevin Sullivan asks his father for advice on beating Vince Russo. Then 'suddenly' a spike appears in his hand. VIGNETTE: We see fan-cam footage of a beach, suddenly, Vince Russo rises from the ocean with a monster mask on. BACKSTAGE: Russo brags that the power of 'The Purpil Hayes' will lead to victory. Russo declares his match with Sullivan to be a match that will mimic the beatings that the Yankees unleash on the Red Sox. IN-RING ACTION: Kevin Sullivan whips Vince Russo into the ropes, but Vince Russo reverses it. Jake Roberts pulls down the top rope. Tim White threatens Vince Russo with disqualification. Tim White counts: one, two, Vince Russo distracts Tim White. Jake Roberts hits Kevin Sullivan with the DDT. A portion of the crowd is booing Kevin Sullivan. Kevin Sullivan is out cold. Tim White is back on the job: three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Vince Russo is met with a mixture of cheers and boos. The winner is Vince Russo. Time of match: 0:03:37 Vince Russo defeated Kevin Sullivan by countout in 0:03:37. Rating: -1/2* (Vince Russo retained the World Sports Entertainment title.) POST-MATCH: Jake Roberts drops his snake on Kevin Sullivan. BACKSTAGE MOMENT: Jyushin Lyger is urged to adopt a name that is 'easier to spell' such as "Justin Liger" BACKSTAGE INTERVIEW: John Bradshaw Layfield is mad! Because "Midgets like Lyger keep legitimate American light heavyweights unemployed. Face it Okerlund, when you got a guy like him, would you want to hire someone who's unknown?" THE MATCH: They lock up. John Bradshaw Layfield uses a poke to the chest on Jyushin Lyger. John Bradshaw Layfield is going for the pin. Tim White counts: One, two, three. A fan at ringside badmouths John Bradshaw Layfield. The winner is John Bradshaw Layfield. Time of match: 0:00:12 John Bradshaw Layfield pinned Jyushin Lyger after a poke to the chest in 0:00:12. John Bradshaw Layfield suffered an elbow injury. He will be out for approximately 3 cards. Rating: 1/2* POST-MATCH: Lyger and Bradshaw left together, but then Lil Sexay came out and told them that Lyger had to eat the brownies now. Lyger responds by attacking Sexay and stuffing the brownies down his throat. BACKSTAGE: Alex Wright talks to Kevin Sullivan and Sullivan vows to train Wright and friends if they take on Jake Roberts. BACKSTAGE SITUATION: Bestia Salvaje is having a toy version of the WWW Heavyweight title fitted on him. The rest of the Axis of Evil urges him on to victory BACKSTAGE INTERVIEW: Hulk Hogan promises to finish off Bestia Salvaje. But, in the middle of the interview, Macho Man Randy Savage walks up holding thong underwear, claiming that "He knows the girl wearing them very well" (Brooke Hogan). Prompting a pull-apart situation Hulk Hogan pinned Bestia Salvaje with the Big Leg Drop in 0:04:20. Rating: -* 1/2 (Hulk Hogan retained the WWW Heavyweight title.) POST-MATCH: Randy Savage walked down to ringside. But then WWW Commissioner Vince Russo walked out with a clipboard. SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT: At 'Gang Wars: The Survival Series', the WWW title will be on the line in a 'Special Four Corner Elimination match' between Hulk Hogan, Randy Savage, John Bradshaw Layfield and Kevin Nash. Hogan will enter the match after 10 minutes. Kevin Nash and John Bradshaw Layfield will have a match earlier in the night, the winner will enter the match after 5 minutes. The loser will start the match with Randy Savage. Any thoughts? The post-card Top 10 contenders: 10- Ron Harris 09- Scorpio Jr 08- Sid 07- Jerry Lynn 06- Rey Mysterio Jr 05- Kevin Nash 04- ReBorne 03- Bestia Salvaje 02- Randy Savage 01- John Bradshaw Layfield WH- Matthew Morgan BG- Triple H WT- Hulk Hogan

HAHAHA! the bird hit the window!

Rock's Grandma invented the People's Elbow.

Orton's gonna bump for Momma Rock!

if I was a wrestler. I'd get Meng to be my bodyguard. I'm sure that he would do his job well with his giant fro, sportsjacket, tie and giant pants. Nice suit Randy

The Rock should randomly introduce Meng

Mrs Rock!

WORLD'S WORST WRESTLING SIGNS THREE FORMER TOUGH ENOUGH STARS WWW Chairman Vince Russo is proud to announce that World's Worst Wrestling has reached deals with Tough Enough contestants Darryl and Wendell. Darryl stands 6 feet 10 inches and weighs over 300 pounds. Wendell is rumored to stand 5 feet 10 inches and weigh 200 pounds. Russo looks forward to seeing if both wrestlers can deliever passable shoot promos. Russo also said that the WWW style would compensate for their lack of stamina. WWW has also signed Chad Angeli.

Here's the current 'signed' roster (I operate on TNM7 with an open fed, but I sign most of the regulars, to make it easier to book): Bestia Salvaje: gimmick - 1/3rd of 'Team Taliban' feud - with the Coalition Also facing Hogan for the title Bhutanese Bruiser (Sonjay Dutt): gimmick - he's from Bhutan, and that's good for business feud - none Bob Backlund: gimmick - he's a cranky old man, and he also has the 'New American Role Model' picked out feud - none Former Zombie Bodydonna Skip: gimmick - none, jobber to the stars. Although, he might do jumping jacks feud - none Buff Bagwell: gimmick - Buff jobs for nobody, brutha feud - mad at Vince Russo for daring to make him job Formerly "Bobby the Rookie" (based on "Sabotage") Chuck "Todd" Palumbo: gimmick - none, at the moment. He was 'Todd', but that gimmick sucked feud - none Todd was sorta like Todd from Beavis and Butthead. David Flair: gimmick - he's sorta crazy, and mad at his dad for that "beating him up" thing feud - with the New 4 Horsemen formerly one-half of the New ICP with Violent J Dean Malenko: gimmick - Teaching the ICP how to wrestle, being a horseman feud - with Sid, David Flair and friends formerly Algernon (WWW's former idiot turned super-genius) Deion Sanders: gimmick - his real life persona feud - with Triple H, for injuring him Sexual Harris-ment (Don and Ron Harris): gimmick - well, he is a twin. Sexual Harris-ment doesn't really sexually harass people.. yet. Also, he's part of the Reich. feud - with Kevin Nash and friends Los Immigrantes (El Dandy and Silver King): gimmick - He's a legal immigrant! (man, I ditched that illegal immigrant gimmick quick) feud - with Team Taliban, because they hate us for our freedom. I guess. Emilio Charles Jr: gimmick - Member of Team Taliban. Yes, we know they're really Mexican. feud - with the "Coalition" Evil Sting (formerly nWo Sting): gimmick - HHH's personal Sting-uh feud - with Sting, duh Hulk Hogan: gimmick - Do I really need to explain this? feud - with Macho Man Randy Savage, because Macho Man's slipping the manmeat to Hulk's daughter Iron Sheik: gimmick - member of the Axis of Evil, unable to take bumps feud - with the Coalition Jake Roberts: gimmick - He has a snake, I think. He's also fucking crazy feud - I don't think he's shown up after losing to Hall Jamie Dundee: gimmick - A disciple of the Church of Sports Entertainment feud - with Roddy Piper Formerly 'Cochese' Jerry Flynn: gimmick - Mulleted Ninja. Gets no airtime. feud - none Jerry Lynn, Sex Addict: gimmick - He loves sex, with Chyna feud - with Kane Jim Duggan: gimmick - HOOOOOOOOOOOO feud - with the Axis of Evil and Team Taliban John Bradshaw Layfield: gimmick - He hates Mexicans. And he's a "Germanic enthusiast", not a Nazi. Member of the Reich. feud - with Kevin Nash and Hulk Hogan and Liberals Johnny Grunge: gimmick - for some reason, he's defending America feud - with the Axis of Evil Kane: gimmick - He just wants some love feud - with Jerry Lynn and Chyna Kevin Nash: gimmick - same as the last 5 years feud - with JBL La Parka: gimmick - The Chairman of the WWW, American Hero feud - with the Axis of Evil and Team Taliban Lex Luger: gimmick - financially dependant on Triple H feud - with Sting Lil Sexay (Brian Christopher): gimmick - Little buddy of Kevin Nash feud - with Nash's enemies, I bet Matthew Morgan: gimmick - disciple of Sports Entertainment. feud - with Piper and his friends Formerly 'The Robot" Maven: gimmick - nothing right now feud - none Former Zombie Meng gimmick - The Monster, a friend of Deion Sanders feud - with Triple H and friends Randy Savage: gimmick - telling Hulk Hogan to 'be a man', nailing Hogan's daughter feud - with the Hulkster ReBorne: gimmick - A very pissed off Doink feud - none Formerly Doink/Matt Borne La Resistance (Rene Dupree and Rob Conway): gimmick - They love the USA feud - with the Horsemen, I guess Ric Flair: gimmick - that's no gimmick, he's really like that feud - with his son and Sid Roddy Piper: gimmick - same as it was in 1984 feud - with Vince Russo Sabu the Beheader: gimmick - he beheads people. Well, he claims he does. feud - with the Coalition, and infidels with heads, I guess Sadam: gimmick - The illegitimate son of Saddam Hussein, who is mad at the USA for imprisoning him. feud - with the Coalition Scorpio Jr: gimmick - Member of Team Taliban feud - with the Coalition Scott Hall: gimmick - same ol.. also does surveys alot feud - with Sexual Harris-ment Scott Steiner: gimmick - has sex with alot of women feud - none yet.. going to make his return on the next show The Insane Clown Posse (Shaggy 2 Dope and Violent J): gimmick - Insane clowns. Horsemen. Violent J is the Enforcer feud - with David Flair and Sid Shawn Stasiak: gimmick - He has dirt on everybody in the company feud - He really hasn't appeared since the PPV Sid: gimmick - Master of the Squirrels, Psycho feud - with the Horsemen Stevie Ray: gimmick - Deion's buddy, fruit booty feud - with Triple H and friends Sting: gimmick - The Stinger feud - with Triple H The Abortionist: gimmick - he does abortions feud - nobody at the moment. He might be turning face soon. The Quebecqueer/Sylvan Grenier: gimmick - he's gay, yeah. feud - with Roddy Piper. Continuing Piper's fine tradition of feuding with people who wear women's underwear Triple H: gimmick - God almighty feud - with Sting Vince Russo: gimmick - The head of World's Worst Wrestling, Savior of the WWF feud - with Roddy Piper Viscera: gimmick - he looks odd.. I guess feud - nobody X-Pac: gimmick - same gimmick as he's had before feud - He's hurt, but mad at Matthew Morgan --- I've probably left somebody out.. any thoughts, comments, ideas? and the following WWW wrestlers need retooling - Chuck Palumbo Viscera Maven oh yeah... read and comment on cards too.

but, it's accurate to put down 'Parts unknown' as a hometown for Onryo (Onryu).. right? which spelling is used more? Onryo or Onryu?

can someone give me an estimate on Onryo's height and weight? I know that since he's a Zombie, his weight is unknown and all that. But, there has to be a good guess out there.

What happened to Mickey Jay? did he even get a job in the WWE for a little bit?

Awwww yeah

Kane would probably squash Jannetty big time.. although Marty can lure Kane into a trap by getting him infront of a mirror or something

Maven may not bring the same force to the Mime gimmick. I'm also gonna probably use Van Hammer a bit. Name: Van Hammer Hometown: Philadelphia, PA Finisher: Jackhammer Foreign Object: Guitar No truth to the rumors that i'll bring in 'Macho Pump' ( http://www.highspots.com/arena/prof/machopump.htm ) and his inverted nipples

yeah.. i'm working on a TNM version of him.. since I booked him in my fed 'World's Worst Wrestling' without checking if he was on my TNM. Thanks