Rob E Dangerously
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Posts posted by Rob E Dangerously
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You did notice that Sabu didn't wrestle, and that he was only wrestling someone due to a hatred of carnyfolk.
But it is kind of relieving that booking cards around Nash and Hogan works in 2009.. since I was doing it when I did WWW stuff in 2003 and 2004.
If I wanted pure crap, it wouldn't be as entertaining. And I would need to make sure that Nathan Jones and Rocky Mountain Thunder were still living.
Plus i'm a lazy bastard without TNM7, so I can't do 18 match crap-cards as easily
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Baron Von Raschke will use his "Louieville Sleeper". Recently had Rocky Mountain Thunder vs Crusher Krugel from 1988. About 14 seconds into the match RMT totally overpowers a clothesline, Krugel lands on his head. RMT then short jerks a body slam. Krugel appears to have had enough of this guys lack of talent and just leaves for a count out. The story behind the curtain would be interesting on this match. RMT just appeared way to green and dangerous to be out there. Not to mention the haircut.The comprehensive "Best of Rocky Mountain Thunder" begins at 5:50 of this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=APiBHL_VpAc
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Taped Live from the Splatterdome in Gary, Indiana. It's World's Worst Wrestling Splatterzone!
[We cut to the back, where Rob Van Dam is making a cameo]
VAN DAM: Hey.. dudes.. I just want to fill all of you in.. on the whole Sabu Kizarny thing.. uh.. Sabu hates carnies. It goes back for like a few decades. They took his money, he got his uncle to throw fire at them.. they retaliated.. it's.. it makes sense. Kizarny sucks, and so do carnies.
CAMERAMAN: Uh, Sabu talks now, why are you here?
VAN DAM: He has a sore throat, he's uh.. busy..
[The camera pans to the right, where the dressing room that says "SABU" on it has smoke pillowing out from under the crack]
[We cut to the ring, where Mike Adamle is in the ring.]
ADAMLE: Cary, Indiana.. you're about to be introduced to ADAMLE'S ARMY... this horde of superstars will allow for me to take over the World's Worst Wrestling. Introducing the musclar men of the army.. the Demolition Warriors, Smash and Animal!
[Demolition Smash and Road Warrior Animal walk down to the ring]
ADAMLE: And the general of Adamle's Army.. HEAVY MENTAL VAN HAMMER
[Van Hammer runs down to the ring carrying a guitar]
ADAMLE: I brought Hulk Hogan to the World's Worst Wrestling, but my army is my ultimate addition.. and soon General Van Hammer will be the champion of World's Worst Wrestling. Just as soon as he beats this opponent.
MATCH: Van Hammer v. Tito Santana
Santana wins at 1:31 in an upset after a flying forearm. Then Santana escapes the wrath of Adamle's Army as Hulk Hogan runs down to
steal the spotlightsave Tito. Hogan takes the mic afterwards.HOGAN: Kevin Nash, brah.. you're no World Champion. I'm the World Champion. And we're going to settle this. Come out now!
[Kevin Nash doesn't show up]
HOGAN: Kevin Nash, where are you? Kevin!
[Hogan gets discouraged and leaves the ring.]
[We cut to the back where we see police leading Scott Hall out in cuffs from Sabu's lockerroom]
VAN DAM: Officer, I swear to you that Sabu is just a foreigner who doesn't know what's going on.
SABU: Brah, what's going on.
VAN DAM: Oh damnit..
[Kizarny shows up and then displays a shiny hypno coin]
KIZARNY: Kizarny cizommands yizou pizolice tizo arrizest Sizabu!!!!
[The Police arrest Sabu and RVD and start clubbing them, a closeup of the coin shows that it's really a commemorative gold coin]
MATCH: Kizarny v. Sabu
Kizarny wins by forfeit due to the arrest of Sabu.
[We cut to the back, where Kane is being interviewed by Vince from Shamwow]
VINCE: Vince here, with World's Worst Wrestling, the wrestling that's so bad, you know it's good, and i'm here with Kane. Kane, last week, you burned Mike Knox, why did you do that?
KANE: Vince, Mike Knox has what I have always wanted.
VINCE: A lumberjack beard? You know, that with my new brand of hairgel, the one that is making America hairy again, you two can get good hair aga---
[Kane locks his hand around Vince's throat]
KANE: You.. don't... underrrrstttaaannddd
[Kane throws a fireball at Vince and wanders off. We cut to the ring]
MATCH: Kane v. Booker T
Booker T wins by disqualification at 3:12 after Sid runs down to the ring to attack Booker. But then Kane attacks Sid. Only to have Snitsky run down to the ring to make the save for Sid. Running Booker and Kane out of the ring.
[We cut to the back where Jack Swagger is checking his e-mail on his phone]
SWAGGER: Hey, I've got a new e-mail. Let's see what it says. "Jack, I saw what you did last week. You know I am your father. You can't run forever. I will get into your life. Sincerel.." NOOOOOOOOO THIS CAN'T BE...
[swagger throws his phone down and walks off. We cut to the back where Sting is drinking coffee next to Tito Santana.]
STING: Tito, back in our day, wrestlers used realistic names. Names that we could see a normal person having. Tito Santana. Ric Flair. Barry Windham. But nowadays. Jack Swagger. The Great Khali. Mike Knox. Who believes that? These damn kids are the reason why the economy is in the crapper. They're just too irresponsible.
SANTANA: Uh.. Sting.. um.. nevermind man.
[We cut to the ring]
MATCH: Jack Swagger v. Sting
Sting wins by a DQ at 1:25 after a masked man comes in and attacks Sting, before giving Jack Swagger a note and walking off. Jack Swagger opens the note, screams, and tears it into pieces.
MATCH: The Great Khali v. Vladimir Kozlov
Cameras cut away from the match at 2:13 to cover a Kevin Nash backstage segment.
[Kevin Nash is sitting on a beanbag in shorts and a t-shirt. He gets up and looks to be making an important announcement.]
NASH: Hulk Hogan, I am the real champion. And I will give you a shot at my title. Just 2 weeks from now. We'll settle this. As for tonight, I've got my partner. You better be ready.
[Vince Russo walks up to the scene.]
RUSSO: Kevin, you're forgetting that i'm in this match too, but I got the guts here. I have a partner. He is one of the many men who I made a superstar. He is CUTE KIP!
[Cute Kip walks up]
KIP: Hey Kev, you got anything left in your cooler.
RUSSO: Uh, Kip, you're wrestling him tonight
KIP: So?
We cut back to the ring, where the Khali match is over. But Kane has walked out to confront the Great Khali. Then the Big Show also comes out and does nothing. But just before Kane can throw a fireball... Sid, Snitsky, and a bandaged Mike Knox run out to make the save.
MATCH: Meng and Ernest the Cat Miller v. The Barbarian and a partner
The Barbarian's partner is La Parka.. who quickly hits the Barbarian with a chair, and joins Meng and the Cat in a 3 on 1 beatdown.
[We cut to the back where Rick Steiner is talking to his brother]
RICK: I swear to you Scott, he's real, and he called me last night. We need protection. Now, ever notice that nobody in Chucky movies has a gun. You see, you need a gun to deal with him. I'm going to get you a concealed weapons permit, ok bro.
SCOTT: Rick, i'm pretty sure people shot Chucky in those MOVIES. They're movies. Chucky isn't real. I swear.
THE MATCH: The Steiner Brothers v. The American Males
The team of Buff Bagwell and Scotty Riggs came out to take on the Steiners, but then a masked man ran down to the ring to attack Rick Steiner, the man unmasks to reveal a Chucky mask, sending Steiner fleeing. While in the ring, Buff Bagwell turned heel on his partner, giving him a Buff Blockbuster and pinning him, giving the team of Buff Bagwell and Scott Steiner a surprise victory.
Meanwhile in the back, Rick Steiner flees into a dressing room as Chucky pursues him. Steiner is cornered and Chucky kicks the door down.. only for people in Jason and Freddy Krueger outfits to make the save.
The Main Event
The Dream Partners Match
Heavyweight Champion Kevin Nash and a partner v. Heavyweight Champion Hulk Hogan and a partner v. Sports Entertainment Champion Vince Russo and Cute Kip
Hulk Hogan came out and introduced his dream partner as his close personal friend, Dusty Rhodes.
Kevin Nash came out, and introduced his dream partner as his personal physician, Dr. Joseph Aomas (who kind of looks like Samoa Joe, only dressed up as a doctor)
As for the actual match, Kevin Nash and Hulk Hogan had a show plodding brawl into the audience. Then Mickey Rourke ran down the aisle, hitting Cute Kip with a chair and taking his place on the apron. Then he stripped down to reveal wrestling tights, Russo tags him, mistaking him for Cute Kip, and then Rourke attacked Russo, slamming him, and hitting him with the Ram Jam. But then a confused and unobservant Dusty Rhodes hits Rourke with an elbowdrop and pins him, giving Hogan and Rhodes the victory.
As for the Hogan and Nash brawl, Scott Hall made a run-in wearing an orange jumpsuit, helping Nash doubleteam Hogan, before Ed Leslie and Brian Knobbs made the save. Kevin Nash got a ring mic.
NASH: Hogan, I got the match for you when we face off.. it'll be a..
HALL: LADDER MATCH
NASH: Whaaat.. damnit Scott, don't DO that to me.. are you kidding?
HOGAN: I accept, brutha!
[Nash is facepalming as we fade to a promo for the next show]
NEXT SHOW
We will fill the vacant WWW Tag Team titles, in a way not directly related to tag teams or a tournament.
-The Cat will face the Barbarian
-Meng and La Parka will face the team of Glacier and Scotty too Hotty
-Rick Steiner, Jason, and Freddy will face Chucky and two mystery partners
-Vince Russo and Cute Kip face Randy the Ram Robinson and a mystery partner
-Kane, The Big Show, Booker T and Stevie Ray face Mike Knox, Snitsky, The Great Khali, and Sid
-Sting faces Colin Delaney
-Adamle's Army (Van Hammer, Smash, and Animal) will face the team of Hugh Morrus, Test, and Tito Santana
-Jack Swagger will wrestle The Undertaker
-Kevin Nash and Scott Hall will face Hulk Hogan and Ed Leslie
The winners of these matches will wrestle in a battle royal, where the last two men in the ring will be crowned the Tag Team champions.
Also.. the PPV card..
MAIN EVENT:
LADDER MATCH FOR THE HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE: Kevin Nash © v. Hulk Hogan ©
Now we're rolling
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[We fade in to a man in a suit sitting in an office]
MAN IN SUIT: Hello, my name is Rob Edison, and I was the man who financed the wrestling program World's Worst Wrestling. Unfortunately, I also had an addiction to escorts. Therefore I have been unable to present our quality product to you people for awhile. I know there is concern since our number one rival in putting out pure crap is TNA Wrestling. But we can coexist with TNA.
[Dramatic pause]
EDISON: Now, some of you may be asking yourself "How could a man with money problems, who abandoned the mortgage on multiple high priced condos, and who enjoys almost-illegal sex for pay afford to put on this kind of program?".. I just got a nice paycheck courtesy of the Federal Stimulus. I'd like to thank my new friend, Senator Arlen Specter, for helping arrange this arrangement in exchange for a check totalling $2300. Having pro wrestling is vital for stimulating our economy, and paying off the IRS creditors who hound me like the ghoulish whores that they are. Now, let's go to ring side, at the WWW Splatterdome, located in scenic Gary, Indiana.. for some WWW action with our commentators, Tony Schiavone and Lee Marshall.
[Cut to a worn-down high school gym in front of a crowd of dozens, Schiavone and Marshall are in a set resembling the Nitro set with their backs to the action.]
TONY SCHIAVONE: Tony Schiavone here, and we're in the Splatterdome, for what should be the greatest wrestling program in quite some time.
LEE MARSHALL: That's what Tony, you see, we've got some great action tonight, as the vacant Heavyweight title will be unvacanted in the steel cage, as we will see Vladimir Kozlov, The Great Khali, and Kevin Nash in a three way match. Also, we'll have tons of other matches i'm sure, and why are the fans cheering?
[schiavone and Marshall look confused]
SCHIAVONE: I have no idea what is going on.. our monitors don't work, Lee.
MARSHALL: Does that mean we need to turn around?
SCHIAVONE: Fraid so, Lee.
[The commentators turn around, to see Sting slapping hands with fans and walking down the aisle]
MARSHALL: I think that's Sting.. We're 30 feet away from him, but I think it's Sting.
[sting walks into the ring and gets a mic]
STING: You people are total scum!
[The fans pop and cheer]
STING: Ok, i'm just going to stop pretending i'm a bad guy for a bit. I'm the TNA champion, and i'm wrestling the first match? Did the guy making the matches have pubes when I became a superstar? I'm frickin' Sting, and i'm wrestling some guy named Mike Knox? Who is Mike Knox?
[Mike Knox wanders down the aisle]
STING: Why is this shirtless lumberjack coming down the aisle? I'm frickin Sting!
Match: TNA Champion Sting v. Mike Knox
Knox defeated Sting by a disqualification at 2:16 when Kane wandered down to ringside, and threw a supernatural fireball at Knox, setting Knox's beard on fire.
SCHIAVONE: How about that, fans.. Kane just set that guy on fire. I think. I can't totally tell from our vantage point.
MARSHALL: Tony, do you think we should move our set down to ringside?
SCHIAVONE: And be around THOSE people? Do you WANT to be mugged, Lee?
MARSHALL: Um, Tony.. you're probably going to have your house protested by Al Sharpton now.
[We cut to the back where Mike Knox is being administered medical care]
KNOX: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MY BEAAARRRRDDDD.... KAAAAAAAAAAAAANEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
[We cut to another part of the back, where Kevin Nash is drinking a Dasani, sitting in a lawn chair, talking on the phone]
NASH: Scott, just pay the toll and go on your way. You can't run tolls in Chicago any more. Wait..
[Kevin Nash throws his water bottle at the camera and we cut to Jack Swagger wandering through the back. Swagger is handed an envelope]
SWAGGER: Hmm.. "Dear Jack Swagger, I enjoy your work.. but I must tell you something.. i'm your father.." WHAT? NOOOO!
[swagger crumbles up the letter and throws it away and we cut back to the ring]
Match: Scott Steiner v. Samoa Joe
Steiner wins at 1:53 after Kurt Angle distracts Samoa Joe with a Baconator, and Steiner KOs Joe by hitting him with his bicep. Then after the match, Rick Steiner runs down to the ring.
RICK: Scott, Scott.. it's serious.. Chucky's back..
SCOTT: Chucky's not fucking real, Rick.
RICK: Then why doesn't my car work?
SCOTT: Did you fucking fill it up, bro?
RICK: Um.. maybe. But, Chucky probably made it not work.
SCOTT: Look Rick, you've been on this Chucky stuff for years. The School Board is sick of hearing it, i'm sick of hearing it.
[We cut to the back where we see Vladimir Kozlov working out. Then the Big Show is seen standing]
KOZLOV: Big Show, um.. why are you here?
BIG SHOW: I'm not booked tonight. So I just stand around other bad guys.
[We cut to the ring]
Match: Glacier v. Sid
Sid wins at 0:36 with a Powerbomb, only to be attacked by Booker T, for some reason.
[We cut to the back as Booker T is being led off]
BOOKER: SID! You call yourself the master and ruler of the world? I am the King of the Universe! and I just dethroned your ass!
[We cut back to the ring as the steel cage is being put up]
[We cut back to the back, as Meng is walking through the back, and he is confronted by the Barbarian.]
THE BARBARIAN: Meng, bro.. what's your secret about the car dealerships? I need some quick money, dude..
MENG: Bro, topsay reakingbay ayfabekay..
[The Cat walks up]
THE CAT: Barby, bro, you breaking the code?
THE BARBARIAN: Damnit Meng, WE WERE GOING TO BE IN BUSINESS TOGETHER, WHAT THE HELL, BRO..
[Meng karate chops the Barbarian, The Cat kicks the Barbarian, and Meng applies the Tongan Death Grip]
MENG: Don't question my business deals, bro! I mean AHWWWHWHWHHA WWWAAHHHAH ARRRGGGHHHH I DON'T KNOW ENGLISH
[We cut to a carnival scene]
"Hizello, I aizm Kizarn--"
[Kizarny is thrown into a table by Sabu, and the scene is broken up. We cut to the ring]
"The following match is a cage match three-way, and the first man out of the cage will be victorious.. introducing first.. from Soviet Russia, Vladimir Kozlov"
[Kozlov comes out to an indifferent reaction]
"Introducing next, from India, the Great Khali!"
[Khali walks down to ringside, and can't fit through the cagedoor]
"Um.. introducing last, from the Retirement Castle, Big Sexy Kevin Nash"
[Nash walks down to ringside, and then offers to steady the barred cage while Khali climbs the cage to enter the ring]
MARSHALL: Tony, the Great Khali may not be able to win this match
SCHIAVONE: Wow, he sure is large and slow.
Match for the Heavyweight title: Kevin Nash v. The Great Khali v. Vladimir Kozlov
Kevin Nash emerges victorious at 4:42 after quietly slipping out of the cage door while Khali had Kozlov in a boring nervehold.
After the match:
[Kevin Nash celebrates with the belt, but then we see Mike Adamle with a ring mic]
ADAMLE: Kevin Nash, you are not the real champ. I brought the real champ here with me. I brought HAWK HOGAN WITH ME
[Hulk Hogan walks out]
HOGAN: Nash, bro, you're not the Heavyweight champ, I'm the heavyweight champ. Don't you try taking what's mine!
[Then Vince Russo walks out]
RUSSO: Hey hey hey guys.. i'm the spawrtz entahtainment champ.. that's a lot better than your belts... I've got a chall--
*BANG*
WHAT THE FUCK
[scott Hall enters the area]
HALL: Ey yo!
[Police swarm Hall and arrest him]
NASH: Scott, bro, did you just lead the police on a chase?
HALL: Maybe..
[Nash facepalms]
NASH: Guys, we need to settle this later. Ok.
HOGAN: Ok bro..
RUSSO: No no no WE MUST HAVE A FRACAS
[Russo runs down to the ring, and enters. Then the Great Khali releases the nervehold, and chops Russo. Khali throws Russo into the cage as we fade to black]
Next show info
Dream Partners Match
Heavyweight Champion Kevin Nash and a partner v. Heavyweight Champion Hulk Hogan and a partner v. Sports Entertainment Champion Vince Russo and a partner
Meng and Ernest "The Cat" Miller v. The Barbarian and a partner
Rick and Scott Steiner v. a mystery team
ECW Champion Jack Swagger v. TNA Champion Sting
The Great Khali v. Vladimir Kozlov
Kane v. Booker T
Kizarny v. Sabu
And more!
From the WWW Splatterdome in scenic Gary, Indiana
I swear the cards will be longer if I either (a) get inspired or (b) get some wrestling sim. Leave comments/ideas/complaints
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The reason the Slaughter/Iraq failed is because people were actually getting killed in that conflict... the same goes with Muhammed Hassan.The Slaughter angle failed just because of society maturing somewhat as a whole, and the Political Correctness craze starting to kick in.
Plus, the Slaughter angle went all the way into August 1991, which was 5 months after the end of the Gulf War. That probably didn't help matters very much, but then again, sometimes Vince makes shitty long term plans that should be aborted.
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On to the Show!
Vickie Guerrero announced that this show would have a lot more gimmick matches, so there.Two-out-of-three-Falls Match With Captain's Rules: Bad Company (Pat Tanaka and Paul Diamond) beat B. Brian Blair and Jim Duggan 2 falls to 0:
x P. Tanaka beat B. Blair via a cobra clutch in 0:04:52
Rating: *
After the match, the Iron Sheik made threats against B. Brian Blair
Vickie Guerrero announced that the following match will have a lifetime WWE contract available for the winners.
Handicap-Ladder Match:
Eric Bischoff, Shawn Stasiak and Nailz defeated The Mountie and Konnan in 0:15:12.
Rating: * 3/4
Vickie Guerrero announced that giving Sabu and RVD the man advantage seemed to be counterproductive, so she changed the match
Handicap-Cage Match:
Sabu and Rob Van Dam defeated Kane, King Kong Bundy and Koko B. Ware by escaping the cage in 0:09:12.
Rating: ** 1/4
After the match, the announcement came that next week, Sabu will face the Ultimate Warrior, and Rob Van Dam will face King Kong Bundy.
a drunken Sandman persauded Festus and Snitsky to change their match.
Table No-Countout-No-DQ-Number-One-Contenders-Triangle Match:
Festus defeated The Sandman and Snitsky:
x Snitsky beat Sandman via putting him through a table in 0:02:57
x Festus beat Snitsky via putting him through a table in 0:06:17
Rating: *
Handicap-I-Quit Match:
Tank Abbott and Tajiri defeated The Undertaker when Abbott defeated Undertaker when Undertaker passed out in the Forearm Choke in 0:05:59.
Rating: ** 1/2
After the match, Kane ran out and turned heel on the Undertaker, declaring "Tank Abbott is my new father!"
Jim Brunzell shocks Brian Blair and the world by aligning with the Iron Sheik.
No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Towel Match:
Iron Sheik (w/Jim Brunzell) defeated Gronda (w/B. Brian Blair) with a side headlock in 0:08:38.
Rating: -*** 1/4
(Iron Sheik retained the WWW Foreigner Title.)
After the match, Brunzell challenged Brian Blair to a match where the loser would spend five minutes in a booth filled with killer bees.
Handicap-Match:
Finlay and Hornswoggle defeated The Insane Clown Posse (Shaggy 2 Dope and Violent J) and Montel Vontavious Porter when Finlay pinned Shaggy with the Celtic Cross in 0:08:14.
Rating: ** 1/4
Finlay was booked to face Jake the Snake in a "Whiskey Bottle on a Pole" match on the next show.
Brass Knux On A Pole No-Countout-No-DQ-Match:
Irwin R. Schyster and Virgil defeated Mickie James and Ted DiBiase Jr. when I.R.S. made Mickie submit to the Penalty in 0:06:15.
Rating: **
[Ted Dibiase interfered against Mickie James.]
After the match, Ted Dibiase derided Mickie James and instructed his son to take on Savio Vega to recapture the Million Dollar Title.
Car No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match:
Abdullah the Butcher defeated Ric Flair in 0:15:41.
Rating: ** 1/2
(Abdullah the Butcher retained the WWW Extreme Title.)
David Arquette came out after the match and challenged Abdullah to a match.
David Arquette pinned Abdullah the Butcher with the Diamond Cutter in 0:06:52.
Rating: 1/4*
But much to Arquette's surprise, he did not randomly request a title match, therefore he did not win the title.
And much to Ric Flair's surprise, because he lost, he's retired!
Four Corners Match:
Randy Orton defeated Umaga, Samoa Joe and Jeff Hardy:
x Umaga beat Joe via the Samoan Spike in 0:00:30
x J. Hardy beat Umaga via the Swanton Bomb in 0:01:27
x R. Orton beat J. Hardy via a chinlock in 0:03:48
Rating: ** 1/2
Vickie Guerrero announced that she had three favorite teams for Meng and La Parka.
Meng and La Parka defeated The Bolsheviks (Nikolai Volkoff and Boris Zhukov) when Meng pinned Volkoff with the Tongan Death Grip in 0:12:42.
Rating: ** 1/4
(Meng and La Parka retained the WWW Tag Team Titles.)
Click here to see highlights.
Meng and La Parka defeated The Nasty Boys (Brian Knobbs and Jerry Sags) when Parka pinned Sags after a power bomb in 0:03:17.
Rating: ** 1/2
(Meng and La Parka retained the WWW Tag Team Titles.)
Meng and La Parka defeated Mando Guerrero and Hector Guerrero when Parka defeated M. Guerrero by disqualification in 0:00:43.
Rating: *
(Meng and La Parka retained the WWW Tag Team Titles.)
[Domino interfered against La Parka.]
Deuce and Domino beat on Meng and La Parka, until the Honky Tonk Man ran out to clear the ring.
Handicap-Iron Man Match:
Triple H beat Mikey, Kenny Dykstra, Nicky, Johnny and Mitch 1 falls to 0:
x Triple H beat Johnny via pinfall in 0:07:49
x time limit expired (Triple H and K. Dykstra) in 0:10:00
Rating: * 1/4
Triple H hailed his new modesty by only beating five men in a handicap match by a 1-0 margin. Then he challenged the Spirit Squad and the Dungeon of Doom to an ironman match next week.
Pacman Jones pinned Vince Russo after hitting him with a keyboard in 0:03:11.
Rating: ** 1/4
(Pacman Jones won the WWW Sports Entertainment Title.)
[Papa Shango interfered against Vince Russo.]
Kevin Federline hailed his new friend Papa Shango as "the man who cured my injuries"
Kamala pinned Petey Williams with the Air Africa in 0:01:22.
Rating: *
Pacman Jones throws a massive stripper party in the back, and then the cops show up to start arresting people.
Randy Savage is unsure why Vince McMahon hates him.
The Rock pinned Randy Savage after hitting him with a baseball bat in 0:04:58.
Rating: ** 1/2
[Vince McMahon interfered against Randy Savage.]
After the match, Nailz and the Ultimate Warrior offer their services to Randy Savage to go after Vince.
The Great Khali and Kevin Nash defeated Hulk Hogan and Sting when Khali made Hogan submit to a clawhold in 0:14:47.
Rating: -* 1/2
And time for highlights
Eric Bischoff tries to climb the ladder.Eric Bischoff is on his way up.
Eric Bischoff is half-way up.
Eric Bischoff is almost on top of the ladder.
Eric Bischoff is in grabbing distance.
Eric Bischoff has retrieved the lifetime contract with the WWE.
Eric Bischoff is starting to get more cheers than boos.
The winners are Eric Bischoff, Shawn Stasiak and Nailz. Time of match: 0:15:03
(..)
Tank Abbott executes the Forearm Choke on The Undertaker.
The Undertaker is valiantly trying to break the hold.
The Undertaker is barely hanging in there.
Rudy Charles checks The Undertaker's arm.
He lifts it... it falls.
He lifts it... it falls.
He lifts it... it falls.
Rudy Charles stops the match after 19 seconds.
There are lots of chants for Tank Abbott.
The winners are Tank Abbott and Tajiri. Time of match: 0:05:59
(..)
Iron Sheik gets a side headlock on Gronda.
Gronda summons one last burst of energy.
B. Brian Blair throws in the towel after 13 seconds.
Iron Sheik further incites the crowd.
The winner is Iron Sheik. Time of match: 0:08:36
(..)
Ted Dibiase hits Mickie James in the back with a chair.
Irwin R. Schyster executes the Penalty on Mickie James.
Mickie James is struggling to reach the ropes.
Mickie James is valiantly trying to break the hold.
Mickie James is inching her way towards the ropes.
Mickie James tries to fight the pain.
Mickie James submits after 19 seconds.
Irwin R. Schyster further incites the crowd.
The winners are Irwin R. Schyster and Virgil. Time of match: 0:06:15
(..)
Ric Flair runs into the ropes.
Abdullah the Butcher takes Ric Flair down with a bodyslam.
Abdullah the Butcher tries to put Ric Flair in the Car.
Abdullah the Butcher stuffs Ric Flair in the Car.
Abdullah the Butcher closes the lid.
Abdullah the Butcher further incites the crowd.
The winner is Abdullah the Butcher. Time of match: 0:15:31
(..)
They lock up.
Samoa Joe goes for a Yakuza kick, but Jeff Hardy counters it with a legsweep.
Jeff Hardy tags out to Umaga.
Umaga hits Samoa Joe with a dropkick.
Umaga is going for the pin.
Nick Patrick counts: One, two, kickout.
Umaga executes the Samoan Spike on Samoa Joe.
Umaga goes for the pin.
Nick Patrick counts: One, two, three.
Samoa Joe has been eliminated.
Umaga is starting to get under the crowd's skin.
The winner is Umaga. Time of match: 0:00:30
They lock up.
Randy Orton tags out to Umaga.
Umaga goes for a torture rack neckbreaker, but Jeff Hardy blocks it.
Jeff Hardy whips Umaga into the ropes.
Umaga misses with a clothesline.
Umaga misses with a kick.
Jeff Hardy misses with a kick.
Umaga goes for a clothesline, but Jeff Hardy counters it with a crucifix.
Nick Patrick counts: One, two, kickout.
Jeff Hardy nails Umaga with the Ace Crusher.
A small "Jeff Hardy" chant is being started.
Jeff Hardy executes the Swanton Bomb on Umaga.
Nick Patrick counts: One, two, in the ropes...
Jeff Hardy executes the Swanton Bomb on Umaga.
Nick Patrick counts: One, two, three.
Umaga has been eliminated.
(..)
Randy Orton puts Jeff Hardy in a chinlock.
Jeff Hardy is valiantly trying to break the hold.
Jeff Hardy is inching his way towards the ropes.
Jeff Hardy may have passed out.
Nick Patrick checks Jeff Hardy's arm.
He lifts it... it falls.
He lifts it... it falls.
He lifts it... it falls.
Nick Patrick stops the match after 46 seconds.
Jeff Hardy has been eliminated.
The crowd is vociferously booing Randy Orton.
The winner is Randy Orton. Time of match: 0:03:48
(..)
Deuce 'N Domino come to ringside.
Mando Guerrero goes for a spinning backbreaker, but La Parka counters it with
spinning headscissors.
La Parka has the crowd going wild.
La Parka runs into the ropes.
Domino hits La Parka in the back with a chair.
Mike Sparks calls for the DQ.
The crowd is going crazy.
The winners are Meng and La Parka. Time of match: 0:00:43
(..)
Papa Shango throws Pacman Jones a keyboard, but Vince Russo intercepts it.
Vince Russo tries to use it, but Pacman Jones blocks the blow and
takes it away from him.
Pacman Jones hits Vince Russo with it and goes for the pin.
Danny Davis counts: One, two, three.
Pacman Jones seemingly enjoys the boos.
The winner is Pacman Jones. Time of match: 0:03:11
(..)
They lock up.
Kamala hits Petey Williams.
You can hear a few scattered fans booing Kamala.
Kamala kicks Petey Williams.
Kamala executes a chop on Petey Williams.
Kamala takes Petey Williams down with a chop.
Kamala hits a roundhouse right on Petey Williams.
Kamala punches Petey Williams.
The crowd doesn't seem to care.
Kamala kicks Petey Williams.
There is no crowd reaction.
Petey Williams kicks Kamala.
The crowd is starting to get behind Petey Williams.
Petey Williams executes the Canadian Destroyer on Kamala.
A small "Petey Williams" chant is being started.
Petey Williams goes for the pin.
Mike Chioda counts: One, two, shoulder up.
Petey Williams goes for an enzuigiri, but Kamala ducks out of the way.
Kamala takes Petey Williams down with a chop.
Kamala whips Petey Williams into the ropes.
Kamala hits Petey Williams with an elbow.
Kamala executes the Air Africa on Petey Williams.
Mike Chioda counts: One, two, three.
You could hear a pin drop.
The winner is Kamala. Time of match: 0:01:22
UPCOMING EVENTS
THE NEXT CARDMAIN EVENT, Elimination match:
Hulk Hogan, Papa Shango, and Kevin Federline
vs.
The Great Khali, Vince Russo, and Kevin Nash
FOR THE SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT TITLE
Pacman Jones © v. Randy Savage
FOR THE TAG TEAM TITLES
Meng and La Parka © v. Umaga and Samoa Joe
FOR THE EXTREME TITLE
Abdullah the Butcher © v. Bob Backlund
ANNNND
The Iron Sheik and Jim Brunzell v. Jim Duggan and B. Brian Blair
Sabu v. The Ultimate Warrior
Rob Van Dam v. King Kong Bundy
FOR THE MILLION DOLLAR TITLE: Savio Vega © v. Ted Dibiase Jr.
Triple H v. the Dungeon of Doom and the Spirit Squad in a 10 on 1 match
Tank Abbott and Kane v. The Undertaker and a partner
David Arquette and Festus v. Tommy Dreamer and the Sandman
Deuce and Domino v. The Honky Tonk Man and Greg "The Hammer" Valentine
Plus appearances by John Cena, Mr. Kennedy, Shawn Michaels, and more
THE ULTIMATE RUMBLEDOUBLE MAIN EVENT
MAIN EVENT #1
THREE 15 MAN ELIMINATION CHAMBERS
The winners will get a present for winning the match.
One present is a shot at the WWW Heavyweight title
One present is a shot at the WWW Sports Entertainment title
One present is a trip to Guantanamo Bay
WHO WILL GET WHAT THEY WANT THIS HOLIDAY SEASON?
MAIN EVENT #2
For the WWW Heavyweight title
Hulk Hogan © v. The Great Khali
LOSER SPENDS FIVE MINUTES IN A BOOTH WITH KILLER BEES
B. Brian Blair v. Jim Brunzell
AND MORE!
-
Test & D-Lo v. Owen and Jarrett for the tag team titles with no build.
I think that the "Triple H wrestles five times in a night" is a Russo creation too.
-
What about the advanced ADHD booking phase in late 1999 with Russo?
Or the return of Hogan as a face in 1999, where he wins the world title, goes over Nash, then Sting turns heel.. then Russo shows up and they abort everything.
-
In case any of you are unfamiliar with Gronda, here's a video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xpaUE0PC1Os
Gronda is what would happen if Batman had a baby with Satan.
-
Vickie Guerrero starts the night off with a variety of annoucements#1: Jerry Lawler has been barred from facing Hogan tonight
#2: The WWW has removed Animal from the tag team title match
#3: There will be an elimination chamber match to determine who faces Hogan
In the back, David Arquette is introduced as the newest WWW Superstar.
Elimination Match:
Eric Bischoff, Melina, Nailz and Shawn Stasiak beat David Arquette, Maria, The Godfather and Tommy Dreamer 4 falls to 2:
x Nailz beat Arquette via the Carotid Choke in 0:09:55
x Nailz beat Dreamer via an inside cradle in 0:21:34
x Godfather beat Melina via the Death Valley Driver in 0:23:36
x Godfather beat Shawn via disqualification in 0:27:57
x Nailz beat Maria via the Carotid Choke in 0:38:21
x E. Bishoff beat Godfather via a side headlock in 0:45:25
Survivors: Eric Bischoff, Nailz
Rating: -1/4*
Kevin Federline sends in a tape to announce that he was injured by the Great Khali. Federline announces that he has gathered the money he got from his singing career to offer a bounty of $3000 on the head of the Great Khali.
Handicap-Match:
The Big Show defeated Sabu, The Sandman and Rob Van Dam when Show pinned RVD with the Showstopper in 0:02:48.
Rating: ** 1/4
Vicki Guerrero berated Sabu, Sandman, and Van Dam for their match, and announced that they will face Kane on the next show.
Big Daddy V pinned Rick Martel after a sidewalk slam in 0:02:42.
Rating: * 1/2
Mickie James pinned Virgil with the Tornado DDT in 0:03:42.
Rating: ** 1/2
Vicki Guerrero announced that the next show would have a Mickie James/Ted DiBiase v. Virgil/IRS Coal Miners Glove on a pole match.
The RPR announced that his new partner proves how non-racist he is, then he introduces Colonel DeBeers as his partner.
Pacman Jones and Kamala defeated Colonel DeBeers and Ron Paul rEVOLution when Pacman pinned Ron Paul Revolution after a powerslam in 0:00:32.
Rating: -1/4*
The Iron Sheik correctly points out that Jim Duggan is not a foreigner, therefore making his match a non-title match.
Iron Sheik defeated Jim Duggan by disqualification in 0:06:30. Rating: -1/2*
[b. Brian Blair interfered against Iron Sheik.]
Blair's appearance startles and angers the Sheik, but then the Sheik is also ambushed by Gronda, who challenges the Sheik for a match on the next card.
Handicap-Match: Konnan and The Mountie defeated Ahmed Johnson when Mountie made A. Johnson submit to the Carotid Control Technique in 0:02:08.
Rating: ***
Vicki Guerrero announces that Konnan and the Mountie will face the team of Eric Bischoff, Nailz and Shawn Stasiak as a punishment for their good match.
Kevin Nash was found asleep in his dressing room and the WWW officials scratched him from his tag match with Santino.
Maria and Santino Marella defeated Nikolai Volkoff and Oklahoma when S. Marella pinned Volkoff with the Rolling Cutter in 0:07:59.
Rating: -** 1/4
(Kevin Nash no-showed.)
Volkoff was angry after the match and challenged Marella to a singing contest on the next show.
Sting pinned Randy Savage with the Scorpion Death Drop in 0:01:12.
Rating: * 1/2
[Vince McMahon interfered against Randy Savage.]
Vince McMahon's interference caused Savage's loss. Vince stormed off and refused to talk about Savage.
No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match:
Abdullah the Butcher pinned Snitsky with the Sudanese Elbowdrop in 0:05:12.
Rating: -* 1/4
(Abdullah the Butcher won the WWW Extreme Title.)
[The Sandman interfered against Snitsky.]
Vicki Guerrero responded to this by removing the Sandman from his match with Kane, and putting him against Snitsky and Festus on the next show.
Tajiri pinned The Undertaker after hitting him with a road sign in 0:01:48.
Rating: **
[Tank Abbott interfered against The Undertaker.]
Tank Abbott yelled at the Undertaker and pulled a knife before we went to a commercial.
Meng and La Parka defeated The Barbarian and Vader when Meng pinned Barbarian ith the Tongan Death Grip in 0:11:34.
Rating: ***
(Meng and La Parka retained the WWW Tag Team Titles.)
Vicki Guerrero just isn't having a good night. She declares that Meng and La Parka are "on notice" and that they will face special opponents on the next show.
Umaga and Samoa Joe are shown preparing for "The Battle of Samoa"
Umaga pinned Samoa Joe with the Samoan Spike in 0:00:09.
Rating: *
Cactus Jack got lost driving to the arena, and Vicki made MVP the partner of Hornswoggle
Hornswoggle and Montel Vontavious Porter defeated The Insane Clown Posse (Shaggy 2 Dope and Violent J) when Hornswoggle pinned Violent J with the Tadpole Splash in 0:03:24.
Rating: ** 1/4
(Cactus Jack no-showed.)
MVP turned on Hornswoggle after the match, and Finlay ran out for the save.
Vince Russo pinned The Great Khali after an eye poke in 0:00:58.
Rating: -1/4*
(Vince Russo won the WWW Sports Entertainment Title.)
In a flagarantly fixed match, Vince Russo wins back the Sports Entertainment title and aligns with the Great Khali.
Someone wakes up Kevin Nash in time for his title match.
A wrestler wearing an Abe Lincoln mask is shown preparing for the match.
The Ultimate Warrior even showed up for some reason.
Elimination Chamber Match:
Randy Savage won a 4-man Elimination Chamber Match:
x Lincoln and Nash started out.
x Lincoln defeated Nash after a jack-knife power bomb in 0:01:33
x The Ultimate Warrior entered at 0:02:00
x Randy Savage entered at 0:04:00
x Savage defeated Lincoln after the Flying Elbowdrop in 0:06:10
x Savage defeated U. Warrior after an inside cradle in 0:13:26
Rating: ** 1/2
Click here to see highlights.
Hulk Hogan pinned Randy Savage after a clothesline in 0:03:18.
Rating: * 1/2
(Hulk Hogan retained the WWW Heavyweight Title.)
After the match, Hogan celebrated, but then the Great Khali came out and put Hogan in the claw hold. Leading to a fracas.
And here are highlights
They lock up.Pacman Jones throws Ron Paul rEVOLution out of the ring.
Chad Patton counts: one, two, three, Ron Paul rEVOLution reenters the ring.
Pacman Jones executes a diving elbowsmash on Ron Paul rEVOLution.
A fan at ringside badmouths Pacman Jones.
Pacman Jones nails Ron Paul rEVOLution with a powerslam.
Chad Patton counts: One, two, three.
Pacman Jones is eliciting a sizable round of boos.
The winners are Pacman Jones and Kamala. Time of match: 0:00:32
(...)
Jim Duggan takes Iron Sheik down with a clothesline.
Jim Duggan is going for the cover.
Earl Hebner counts: One, two, in the ropes...
Jim Duggan runs into the ropes.
Iron Sheik hits Jim Duggan with a clothesline.
Jim Duggan falls out of the ring.
Iron Sheik goes outside.
Earl Hebner counts: 1.
Iron Sheik throws Jim Duggan back into the ring.
Iron Sheik executes the Camel Clutch on Jim Duggan.
Jim Duggan is inching his way towards the ropes.
Jim Duggan tries to fight the pain.
B. Brian Blair enters the ring and breaks the hold.
Earl Hebner calls for the DQ.
The crowd is vociferously booing Iron Sheik.
The winner is Iron Sheik. Time of match: 0:06:30
(..)
Randy Savage runs into the ropes.
Vince McMahon hits Randy Savage in the back with a chair.
Jimmy Korderas threatens Sting with disqualification.
Sting gives the sign for the Scorpion Death Drop.
Sting executes the Scorpion Death Drop on Randy Savage.
The crowd is starting to get behind Sting.
Sting goes for the pin.
Jimmy Korderas counts: One, two, three.
Sting has the crowd going wild.
The winner is Sting. Time of match: 0:01:12
(..)
Tajiri goes for a flying dropkick, but The Undertaker ducks out of the way.
Tank Abbott throws Tajiri a road sign.
Tajiri hits The Undertaker with it and goes for the pin.
Tim White counts: One, two, three.
Tajiri is being booed like there is no tomorrow.
The winner is Tajiri. Time of match: 0:01:48
(..)
They lock up.
Umaga gives the sign for the Samoan Spike.
Umaga executes the Samoan Spike on Samoa Joe.
Quite a few boos are audible.
Umaga goes for the pin.
Jack Doan counts: One, two, three.
Umaga is starting to get under the crowd's skin.
The winner is Umaga. Time of match: 0:00:09
(..)
The Ultimate Warrior goes for a Gorilla Press, but Randy Savage slides down his
back.
Randy Savage hits an inside cradle on The Ultimate Warrior.
Mike Chioda counts: One, two, three.
The Ultimate Warrior complains about a fast count.
The Ultimate Warrior has been eliminated.
The crowd is on its feet cheering for Randy Savage.
The winner is Randy Savage. Time of match: 0:13:26
(..)
Hulk Hogan goes for a bodyslam, but Randy Savage counters it with
a small package.
James Beard counts: One, two, KICKOUT.
Hulk Hogan whips Randy Savage into the ropes.
Randy Savage goes for a clothesline, but Hulk Hogan ducks out of the way.
Hulk Hogan takes Randy Savage down with a clothesline.
Hulk Hogan covers Randy Savage.
James Beard counts: One, two, three.
There are lots of chants for Hulk Hogan.
The winner is Hulk Hogan. Time of match: 0:03:18
And now for the next card
MAIN EVENTHulk Hogan and Sting v. The Great Khali and Kevin Nash
FOR THE SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT TITLE
Vince Russo © v. Pacman Jones
FOR THE TAG TEAM TITLES
Meng and La Parka © v. Vicki Guerrero's Special Team
FOR THE EXTREME TITLE, IN A CAR KEYS LADDER MATCH (Winner gets Ric Flair's car keys)
Abdullah the Butcher © v. Ric Flair
FOR THE FOREIGNER TITLE
Iron Sheik © v. Gronda
ALSO
Finley and Hornswoggle v. MVP and the ICP
Coal Miner's Glove on a Pole: Mickie James and Ted Dibiase Jr v. IRS and Virgil
Tank Abbott and Tajiri v. The Undertaker
Snitsky and Festus v. The Sandman
Sabu and RVD v. Kane
Konnan and the Mountie v. Bischoff, Nailz, and Shawn Stasiak
Brian Blair and Jim Duggan v. Bad Company
AND MORE! BE THERE!
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limited because I'm just using a TNM7 SE trial
Anyways, here are the results (results booked with TNM7, rest made up by me)
Show #1
Before the matches begin, Commissioner Vickie Guerrero announces that all the titles have been vacated and a few were just created.We start off with a tournament for the WWW Foreigner Title
[Round 1]: Abdullah the Butcher pinned Head Hunter A with the Sudanese Elbowdrop in 0:10:30. Rating: *
[Round 1]: Charly Manson pinned Rory McAlister after a moonsault in 0:00:32. Rating: * 1/4
[Round 1]: Bushwhacker Butch pinned Colonel DeBeers after a faceslam in 0:13:37. Rating: -3/4*
[Round 1]: Darkside Abdullah pinned Bushwhacker Luke with the Darkside Elbow in 0:07:27. Rating: * 3/4
[Round 1]: Gronda pinned El Pantera after a spinebuster slam in 0:06:09. Rating: 1/2*
[Round 1]: Chessman pinned Head Hunter B with the Flying Legdrop in 0:09:32. Rating: **
[Round 1]: Rick Martel defeated Rory McAllister when Rory McAllister passed out in the Boston Crab in 0:06:57. Rating: *** 3/4
After the Martel match, Vickie Guerrero removed Martel from the tournament and ordered him to face Big Daddy V on the next show.
[Round 1]: Konnan pinned Ramstein after spinning headscissors in 0:04:53. Rating: *** 3/4
[Round 2]: Abdullah the Butcher pinned Charly Manson with the Sudanese Elbowdrop in 0:07:16. Rating: 1/4*
[Round 2]: Darkside Abdullah pinned Bushwhacker Butch with the Darkside Elbow in 0:06:38. Rating: DUD
[Round 2]: Gronda pinned Chessman after a spinebuster slam in 0:04:37. Rating: -1/2*
[Round 2]: Konnan defeated The Mountie when The Mountie passed out in the Tequila Sunrise in 0:05:57. Rating: **** [Jimmy Hart interfered against Konnan.] (Rick Martel no-showed.)
After the match, Konnan and the Mountie were ordered to team up next week against Ahmed Johnson
[semi-Finals]: Abdullah the Butcher pinned Darkside Abdullah with the Sudanese Elbowdrop in 0:03:01. Rating: 3/4*
[semi-Finals]: Gronda pinned Konnan with the Spear in 0:02:31. Rating: -1/4*
[Finals]: Gronda pinned Abdullah the Butcher with the Spear in 0:05:36. Rating: -*** 3/4
But before Gronda was going to get the belt, WWW Commissioner Vickie Guerrero declared that he must defeat one more challenger.
Match for the vacant WWW Foreigner Title:
Iron Sheik defeated Gronda when Gronda passed out in the Camel Clutch in 0:08:44.
Rating: -*** 1/2
(Iron Sheik won the WWW Foreigner Title.)
After the match, Hacksaw Jim Duggan made the save for Gronda, preventing the Sheik from making Gronda humble.
Four Corners Match for the vacant WWW Extreme Title:
Snitsky defeated The Sandman, Sabu and Rob Van Dam:
x Snitsky beat Sandman via a cobra clutch in 0:38:56
x Snitsky beat RVD via a pumphandle powerslam in 0:54:48
x Snitsky beat Sabu via the Faultless in 1:05:15
Rating: ****
(Snitsky won the WWW Extreme Title.)
Snitsky was punished after the match by being booked to face Abdullah the Butcher on the next show.
Sandman, Sabu, and RVD were booked in a match for the next show against The Big Show.
And we start a tournament for the WWW Tag Team Titles
[Round 1]: Daivari and Armando Alejandro Estrada defeated The Miz and John Morrison when Daivari pinned J. Morrison after a flying bodypress in 0:06:49. Rating: * 1/4
[Round 1]: Mickie James and Ted DiBiase Jr. defeated Porkchop Cash and Rhino when Mickie pinned Rhino after a springboard bulldog in 0:07:55. Rating: **
(Irwin R. Schyster no-showed.)
[Round 1]: Kurt Angle and Octagon defeated Los Cazadores de Cabezas (Head Hunter A and Head Hunter B) when K. Angle
defeated Head Hunter B via pinfall in 0:04:11. Rating: ** 1/4
[Round 1]: Meng and La Parka defeated Bad Company (Pat Tanaka and Paul Diamond) when Parka pinned P. Tanaka with the Frankensteiner in 0:13:32. Rating: *** 1/2
[semi-Finals]: Daivari and Armando Alejandro Estrada defeated Mickie James and Ted DiBiase Jr. when Daivari pinned Mickie after a flying bodypress in 0:02:43. Rating: ** 1/2
After the match, Virgil came out to berate Dibiase Jr for not picking him.
[semi-Finals]: Meng and La Parka defeated Kurt Angle and Octagon when Parka pinned K. Angle with the Frankensteiner in 0:08:37. Rating: ** 1/4
[Finals]: Match for the vacant WWW Tag Team Titles:
Meng and La Parka defeated Daivari and Armando Alejandro Estrada when Parka pinned Daivari after a power bomb in 0:15:12.
Rating: ** 3/4
(Meng and La Parka won the WWW Tag Team Titles.)
And now we start a tournament for the Tag Team Titles
[Round 1]: The Great Khali pinned Maria after a kick to the head in 0:03:49. Rating: -*****
[Round 1]: Vince Russo pinned Festus after hitting him with a foreign object in 0:13:08. Rating: * 1/2
[Round 1]: Eric Bischoff pinned Jonathan Coachman with the Nightcap in 0:09:48. Rating: -** 3/4
[Round 1]: Macho Libre pinned The Zombie with the Flying Elbowdrop in 0:00:58. Rating: -*
[Round 1]: Pacman Jones pinned Ron Paul rEVOLution with the Football Tackle in 0:03:26. Rating: -**** 1/2
[Round 1]: Hornswoggle pinned Vince McMahon after a jumping DDT in 0:06:37. Rating: -1/4*
[Round 1]: Kamala pinned Funaki with the Air Africa in 0:04:31. Rating: * 1/2
[Round 1]: Kevin Federline pinned Jim Cornette with the Fed-Ex in 0:08:20. Rating: -*****
[Round 2]: The Great Khali defeated Vince Russo by countout in 0:02:24. Rating: 3/4*
[Round 2]: Eric Bischoff pinned Macho Libre with the Nightcap in 0:01:33. Rating: 3/4*
[Round 2]: Pacman Jones pinned Hornswoggle with the Football Tackle in 0:10:14. Rating: DUD [Ron Paul rEVOLution interfered against Pacman Jones.]
[Round 2]: Kevin Federline pinned Kamala with the Fed-Ex in 0:05:36. Rating: -**
[semi-Finals]: The Great Khali defeated Eric Bischoff via pinfall in 0:03:04. Rating: -** 1/2
[semi-Finals]: Kevin Federline pinned Pacman Jones with the Fed-Ex in 0:02:34. Rating: -* 3/4
After the match, Ron Paul rEVOLution came out to berate Pacman Jones, before Pacman's friend Kamala came out to tell Pacman about some racist newsletters written by RPR. RPR swears it was a ghostwriter who wrote "Pacman Jones is just another fool from Rapetown". Pacman was escorted away by police in order to protect all those involved.
[Finals]: Match for the vacant WWW Sports Entertainment Title:
The Great Khali pinned Kevin Federline after a kick to the head in 0:00:16.
Rating: -**** 1/2
(The Great Khali won the WWW Sports Entertainment Title.)
No-Countout-No-DQ-Four Corners Match for the vacant WWW Heavyweight Title:
Hulk Hogan defeated Randy Savage, Kevin Nash and Sid Vicious when Hogan pinned Nash after a clothesline in 0:00:33.
Rating: 1/4*
(Hulk Hogan won the WWW Heavyweight Title.)
And how about some highlights?
The Great Khali is going for the cover.Tim White counts: One, two, shoulder up.
The Great Khali hits a hiptoss on Maria.
The Great Khali works the crowd.
The Great Khali is met with a "The Great Khali sucks" chant.
The Great Khali goes for a kick to the head, but Maria blocks it.
Maria executes a kick to the midsection on The Great Khali.
Maria executes a slap on The Great Khali.
Maria goes for a shoulderblock to the midsection, but The Great Khali counters it with a kneelift.
The Great Khali takes Maria down with a kick to the head.
You could hear a pin drop.
The Great Khali is going for the pin.
Tim White counts: One, two, three.
There are chants of 'boring, boring'.
The winner is The Great Khali. Time of match: 0:03:49
(..)
Festus executes a headbutt to the back on Vince Russo.
Chad Patton comes running down to the ring.
Festus nails Vince Russo with a slap.
Festus executes a headbutt to the back on Vince Russo.
Festus uses a headbutt to the back on Vince Russo.
Vince Russo takes the baseball bat and uses it on Festus.
He goes for the pin.
Chad Patton counts: One, two, three.
Festus complains about a fast count.
A wave of boos is going through the crowd.
The winner is Vince Russo. Time of match: 0:13:08
(..)
They lock up.
The Zombie goes for a punch, but Macho Libre reverses it.
Macho Libre nails The Zombie with a powerslam.
Earl Hebner counts: One, two, kickout.
Macho Libre yells, "OH YEAH!".
Macho Libre is starting to get under the crowd's skin.
Macho Libre takes The Zombie down with an inverted facelock elbowdrop.
Macho Libre hits a full nelson slam on The Zombie.
Macho Libre uses a low blow on The Zombie.
Macho Libre executes a bodyslam on The Zombie.
Macho Libre yells, "OH YEAH!".
The crowd is booing Macho Libre.
Macho Libre executes the Flying Elbowdrop on The Zombie.
Earl Hebner counts: One, two, three.
A wave of boos is going through the crowd.
The winner is Macho Libre. Time of match: 0:00:58
(..)
The Great Khali goes for a headbutt, but Vince Russo blocks it.
Vince Russo runs into the ropes.
The Great Khali hits Vince Russo with an elbow.
Vince Russo takes the baseball bat and uses it on The Great Khali.
A portion of the crowd is cheering Vince Russo.
He goes for the pin.
Charles Robinson counts: One, two, KICKOUT.
The Great Khali uses a side suplex on Vince Russo.
Vince Russo walks out for the countout.
You can hear a few scattered fans booing The Great Khali and a few others cheering him.
The winner is The Great Khali. Time of match: 0:02:24
(..)
They lock up.
Kevin Federline gives him a ropeburn, but The Great Khali doesn't budge.
The Great Khali hits Kevin Federline with a kick to the head.
The Great Khali covers Kevin Federline.
Mike Chioda counts: One, two, three.
A portion of the crowd is booing The Great Khali.
The winner is The Great Khali. Time of match: 0:00:16
(..)
They lock up.
Kevin Nash hits a side suplex on Hulk Hogan.
Kevin Nash uses a chop on Hulk Hogan.
Kevin Nash whips Hulk Hogan into the turnbuckle.
Kevin Nash whips Hulk Hogan into the ropes.
Hulk Hogan nails Kevin Nash with a clothesline.
Hulk Hogan covers Kevin Nash.
Danny Davis counts: One, two, Randy Savage doesn't make it in time... three.
The crowd is starting to get behind Hulk Hogan.
The winner is Hulk Hogan. Time of match: 0:00:33
And the card for the next show (which will be posted on this thread)
FOR THE HEAVYWEIGHT TITLEHulk Hogan © v. Jerry Lawler
FOR THE SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT TITLE, NO COUNTOUTS
The Great Khali © v. Vince Russo
FOR THE TAG TEAM TITLES
Meng and La Parka © v. Animal and The Barbarian
FOR THE EXTREME TITLE
Snitsky © v. Abdullah the Butcher
FOR THE FOREIGNER TITLE
Iron Sheik © v. Hacksaw Jim Duggan
ALSO
Pacman Jones and Kamala v. Ron Paul rEVOLution and a partner
Rick Martel v. Big Daddy V
The Big Show v. Sandman, Sabu, and RVD
Ahmed Johnson v. Konnan and the Mountie
Mickie James v. Virgil
AND MORE
Presumably I will figure out how to kill the Visualizer soon.
-
Presumably this episode won't involve the Connors fighting a flying Terminator skull.
And Summernator is also not aware of moving cars. Must be a bug in the system. My theory is that SkyNet doesn't feel like sending another T1000 to wipe out Connor. Send like two T1000s and he's a goner.
8:25 update- The Connors enlist the help of Latino Michael Vick to stop the undead skeleton Terminator
8:31 update - Is John Connor gonna have to randomly assault Charley Olson?
-
Decent episode...I still don't know how they can sustain a good story for logner than a season.Perhaps John Connor does need to knock up Cameron Phillips.
Hey, it would make some sense to try to get at least to second base in John's situation.
-
Ok.. so apparently you can't take objects through time, but there is a TIME MACHINE AND GUNS in a bank vault in 1999.
I think they explained that they sent someone back and they built all the guns and time machine out of 1963 parts and equipment.
Good thing they sent that guy with the tattoo list of how to make guns and a time machine.
And the Terminator they sent back has some depth perception problems
-
Ok.. so apparently you can't take objects through time, but there is a TIME MACHINE AND GUNS in a bank vault in 1999.
-
Presumably the question of "Is it possible to have sex with a Terminator?" will not be answered on this show.
So they sent a Terminator who was inferior to T1000 in this episode.. smooth thinking.
And they sent a Terminator who can't figure out when cars are coming right at him. Smooth.
Did Skynet blow it's budget on T1000?
-
Holding a show in the location of Wrestlemania IV would be fun, in an awkward sense
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that was a criticism of my matches back in 2002. Seeing as my match for this week was a winner, did I get over that problem? or did I just produce a long erratic match?
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Sure, I could show up. And drop five more elbow drops.
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I think Sharpe was in the SJL, and last wrestled there in 2002.
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V/O: "And this week in Road to the White House, we go to the Leon Sharpe campaign's visit to Coconino High School's 12th grade government class"
We fade to a classroom where the teacher is talking.
Teacher: "And we have a real life Presidential candidate right here to talk to us about voting and issues! Please welcome Leon Sharpe!"
Sharpe walks into the room as some of the students applaud
Voice in the back of the room: "You promised us Alan Keyes!"
Sharpe walks up to the podium to give his speech.
"Ok, here's the condensed speech since you all will be able to vote next year. We candidates don't take you kids seriouslu because you don't vote very often. If you vote more often and find some issue to focus on, then you'll get more attention. If i'm elected President, I will lower the drinking age to 18 and decriminalize Marijuana. I will also make sure that you all don't get sent off to some war that you don't want to fight. That's all I can promise you, since none of you know much about economics or social issues"
Male Student: "But doesn't Congress have lots of people who oppose what you talk about?"
Sharpe: "Look kid, Congress will do what I tell them to do"
Male Student: "Isn't Marijuana bad for you?"
Sharpe: "Probably, but I don't care."
Female Student: "Um, why should we be allowed to drink, we're not that mature"
Sharpe: "Look, you'll change your tone when you're downing beer bongs at college"
Teacher: "Um, how can these kids get out and vote, can you tell us more"
Sharpe: "They can register to vote and not stay at home watching Family Guy on Election Day. Your grandma with the artifical hip can get out and vote. You should do it too."
Male Student: "Didn't you say something about strippers on some show?"
Sharpe: "Yeah, but i'm not going to overload you kiddies with vices. You can learn about strip clubs over spring break."
Teacher: "Well, this isn't really the discussion I was expecting"
Sharpe: "You should have known better"
Sharpe walks out of the room and we fade to him walking through the parking lot of the school.
"Insane Luchador, there is an immigration problem in this country. An insane one, if you will. You see, lots of insane luchadors are jumping fences and taking jobs that Americans supposedly don't want. Such as selling grapes and being an insane luchador. Now, you're from Easton, Pennsylvania. Which means that you're either a white dude, or you're an insane luchador who has been working in the chicken plant for the last several months. In order to fully fund my campaign to spread the message of better strippers, more freedom, more legal booze, and less war, I will need to defeat Insane Luchador and defeat him so badly that other insane luchadors decide to stay in Mexico.
Insane Luchador, you may be crazy, but you're not crazy enough to defeat me. I'm Leon Sharpe and I approved this message!"
Fade out
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Two move ideas that I want to throw out
#1 - a powerslam, that starts off with a move towards a usual powerslam, and then turns the other way. You know how the powerslam would have the victim cross your chest, and you turn right and drop them, this would be a feint right, and a turn to the left to drop the guy.
#2 - this is a bit complex..
start with a fireman's carry, lift the guy like you're going to give him an F5, but when he's in that position, move into a powerslam. Sorta like a combo between and F5 and a Jackhammer.
Any thoughts?
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There's even more things for you to buy from the "Vote Sharpe" effort. It's just a matter of time to see how much extra revenue needs to be generated.
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I resisted the urge to do a gimmick that ripped off the Mr. Woodcock movie*, and I went with Sharpe
(* - "And Coach Cochran has thrown that dodgeball at his opponent, and the ref is baffled. Now the Coach is forcing his opponent to do pushups")
#1 - "Devil's Dance" is a Metallica song off of ReLoad. The whole 80 seconds before vocals and a good rock melody makes it theme song material. Since my entrances shouldn't last 4 minutes yet.
#2 - Sharpe did dumb down his moveset slightly to not include multiple deadly finishers in his signature pile. Considering that Sharpe is 10 inches taller than the average SWFer, all should be fine.
World's Worst Wrestling fantasy booking thread
in General Wrestling
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How does one NOT hate carnyfolk.. even if that hatred comes from the realization that the carnies screwed them over with their wit and ability to fool your dumbass.
Anyways, the bigger gripe is probably more on Swagger. I'll admit that.. I don't really watch Smackdown or ECW. But I'll check into it to make sure that Jack properly handles the realization that his father may be unveiled soon.