The Dames

It's been talked about quite often that most of MTV's programming is pretty bad and doesn't even focus on music anymore. Most people shit on shows like Dismissed...but just like a car accident, when its on, I can't help but watch. I normally don't watch every day, but the previews showed me something pretty damn funny so I stayed...it did its job and it was just so damn funny, it urged me to write about it. Ok, for those of you who don't know what it is, Dismissed is a "dating" show where for the first half, one guy is wooed by two girls and the second half a girl is wooed by two guys. At the end of each date, they dismiss the person they liked the least. The first date was this one guy, a regular joe schmoe and he was set up with two girls....a thin blonde and a curvy brunette. The brunette seems to have the better personality... So, the blonde girl chooses where they'll go first and she takes them to a boxing club. The girls get in the ring the brunette is just having a good time and the blonde looks really focused. They start sparring a bit, nothing too hard and then all of a sudden...a HARD right cross from the blonde catches the brunette. She starts CRYING and yelling about how this is supposed to be fun, no one was supposed to be hurt...etc. She pulls out the "you're not even trying to get to know him" card and I'm crackin up over here. The brunette's part of the date.....is a pool party at her house. Everyone strips down to their bathing suits and the brunette is BANGIN! The brunette pulls out the "Time Out" card, meaning she gets 20 mins. alone with the guy. So, she's talking to him, lying down on a bed near the pool when he just kisses her out of the blue. Looks like she's in the lead. The blonde in her confessional says "We click on everything....but I just don't like the way he looks". The guy in his confessional moment says that they're neck and neck. Blondie comes back and gets HER Time Out with him. He asks to kiss her and does...and then they dance for a bit. He makes his decision and dismisses the blonde. The brunette is happy. They show a few more clips of that BRUTAL Right Cross....oh man that was just hilarious. Then there's the girls part. The girl is 22 and hasn't dated in a while... The two guys, one guy has frosted hair and is wearing a black T-shirt with a 8-bit Nintendo controller on it. The other has a hat on and a plaid shirt... Not exactly what you'd wear to go on a date. The girl shows up and the guy with the hat hugs her immediately, completely molesting her back. Its his date....and he chooses to take her to a bar. Her confessional she says "...a strip mall bar is just..lame". He keeps making fun of Nintendo guy because of his hair, calling him a Backstreet Boy the whole time. Finally, the guy says...."you say it again, and I will beat your ass". Hat guy says, "Hows Justin and the rest of the guys?", and Nintendo guy flips his hat off. They start punching each other, throwing each other all over the place until the girl hits them both over the head with beer bottles. Turns out the REAL date was a bar fight that was all choreographed. Hat guy has a really bad lisp and isn't too smart. He needed 8 takes because he kept messing up. Second guy's date was a nice restaurant. The two guys are just BICKERING like little fucking children and she keeps saying "BOYS! STOP IT!". This is the funniest thing I've seen all day. Hat guy, who isn't wearing a hat anymore, gets his time out....and he tries to kiss her, but she gives him THE CHEEK~! He tries 4 more times and strikes out each time. She's being REALLY sarcastic with him about how good of a time she's having. Nintendo guy, now dressed relatively normal, comes back and gets his time out. He's a lot more smoother and kisses her...the girls confessional "I was going to dismiss the other guy.....but he's just a HORRIBLE kisser". Oh man....this is great. Decision time.... The former Hat guy just can't keep his foot out of his mouth and gets dismissed. The winner asks the girl...."was there any doubt?" "None." Oh man....this episode amused me so much, I wish I taped it. .....Yes, I'm bored. Dames

Because you're SPOONY~! You should be excited enough to make anything you wear in bed tent-like. Dames

I don't drink much, I have alcoholism in my family from my fathers side. I drink fruity drinks at clubs and pool halls, thats it. NO beer, hate the taste. Dames

I think you have fabulous taste in women Dames

I live in the Bronx, so actually, I should be worse. What can I say, I'm a nice guy. Dames

Oh man, I was just talking with Kotzenjunge about Shipmates. Three days on a cruise ship....its a great show when they don't get along, and they're stuck for the rest of the trip. Dames

.....I probably would do nothing. I don't have any celeb nudes.....only girls I know Dames

They continue the date for the rest of the night and whatever happens happens...

......If thats the same chick as Wonder Woman, I won't. As a matter of fact, I don't think I'd ever post nude pics, it violates my own rules Dames

No, more like a shot at posters that think that high post counts mean something..."Oh, I've got a 1000 posts, I'm better than the rest of joo". "I've got 3000, my opinion is held greater because of it". I was actually thinking about taking post counts off for a day, just to see you guys squirm, but I didn't want to start a shitstorm. Dames

Best poster....I'm going to have to say Jingus. Most useless pile of cat vomit: Cutthroat. ....you don't want to be a mod, trust me. Dames

....Actually, I would, so I could go to New York and hang out with myself. I'd love to see what I'm really like from the third person. Dames

No.....however, I think he just took the hint and left. Or not. Dames

Next week, we got Buffy Season 7 and Smallville Season 2. They all pale in comparison to 24 Season 2 though. What about you guys? Dames

By saying "my gal", I assume you mean JLH. I hate Rolling Stone, that mag sucks, IMO. I can just to go LoveHewitt.com and download the pics that they most likely have scanned. That place was the first place I ever started posting on, back in '98. Dames

.....Sorry man, but I haven't seen it. Dames

Well, I just saw the pilot after MTV decided to replay it for the first of 300 times. This season definitely doesn't look boring compared to most, so I'll probably check it out. I do kinda feel bad for Frank though, he got played. Dames

Ryu. When you've got a character like Akuma who is basically Ryu and Ken with more specials, it just makes it cheap to me. Dames

Pinnacle, I guess you must have missed it a few weeks ago where there was nothing but venom and hatred for Avril Lavigne here because she wasn't "really" punk and some other stupid reasons. Dames

Oh Bob, 95% of this board hates her now for some dumb reason. Dames

No actually, he doesn't. He keeps shitting in the local White Castle right outside of Fordham University (which is right next to my old junior high). Those murder burgers will kill ya. Dames

Well, where else they gonna shit? Dames

I'd probably be AngleSault so I could check myself into an Anger Management program. Dames

Tough question. Off the top of my head, I'd have to say Elvis, because he invented the rules of how to be a rock star. When he got fat, he was STILL loved. Dames

....Whip out the belt. Dames