Patty O'Green

London, England. Not to be confused with London, Ontario. By the way I need everything by at least 9:00 PM EST on Thursday. Not 9:01 or 9:15. 9:00. If I don't have your stuff by then, I guess someone will have to edit it in later. Okay?

MY BURGER has tiger sauce on it. =( anyway, hoff's turn. He picks the city. sum1 should write one of those PPV previews.

NEVERMIND!!! Why does this smilie exist?

CHIKARA is the name of a wrestling promotion owned by Mike Quackenbush(I think.). Now leave these nice people alone. I can elaborate more in the OAOAST folder, but I don't think it's all that important. CHIKARA

Hell yeah! Fuck all you pencil dick boy touchers!

In a world full of posers, phonies, and pure wannabees, there finally emerges a group which has come to set the record straight. so, all you suckers better recognize, ya heard can you say uhhh na na na na... Have any of you ever heard this song? The guy who says this sounds like an old child molester. I've been meaning to say that for a year!

(RETURN FROM BREAK OR WHATEVER) The lights go down in the arena. A Puerto Rico flag appears on the AngleTron. In big, white, blocky letters, the following words appear on the screen, with Tha Puerto Rican saying them: *THE CHAMP IS HERE!* With that, a lightning bolt hits the entrance, the PRL entrance video plays on the AngleTron, and “Know Your Role ‘99” begins playing, with the crowd standing up and booing. PR is heard saying “THE CHAMP IS HERE!” throughout the song, while smoke fills the entranceway, and the lights flicker on and off. A few seconds elapsed, and the entrance doors open, revealing two silhouettes. The silhouettes come out through the smoke, and it’s revealed to be “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican, and his “Career Consultant” Stephen Joseph Popick. The crowd greets the two men with loud boos. PR and Popick greet the crowd with cocky smirks on their sunglass-covered faces. PRL jaws with some fans, and then looks to Popick, and the two men begin their walk to the ring. *DING DING DING* MICHAEL BUFFER Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall, with a 30 minute T.V. time limit. Introducing first, coming down the ramp, weighing in tonight at 223 lbs. Accompanied to the ring by his manager and “Career Consultant” Stephen Joseph Popick, from San Juan, Puerto Rico, he is “The Corporate Champion” THA PUERRTOOO RICCCAAAANNNNNNNNNNNN!!!! COLE Well fans, as you can clearly see, Tha Puerto Rican is in action here tonight, and he will be taking on one half of the Global Party Exchange, Johnny “Jam” Jackson in a singles contest. CABOOSE And what a great idea, another one from the mind of PR. He’s got to keep himself in shape for “Rage In The Cage” two weeks from now, and what better way to do that than by having a match? A Steel Cage Match isn’t no joke, PRL is going to need all the energy he has in order to defeat Panther at AngleMania IV. Think of this match as a warm-up match, a tune-up for AngleMania. The crowd chants “P.R. SUCKS!” as PR jaws with the fans at ringside. He mugs for the camera for a few seconds and then hops onto the ring apron. He sneers at the crowd, and is greeted with boos and middle fingers in response. Stephen Joseph holds the ropes, and Tha Puerto Rican enters the ring. He spins around, soaking in the boos of the crowd while “Know Your Role ‘99” continues playing over the P.A. system. Tha Puerto Rican does the HBK muscle pose while pyro goes off behind him. The crowd is still booing loudly. PRL heads to the second rope, and raises his arms in victory. The crowd boos. PRL laughs evilly, and then heads to the opposite turnbuckle, and hops on the second rope, raising his arms again, and once again, receiving boos. PRL jaws with the crowd, and then hops on a third turnbuckle. PRL raises his right arm in the air, and “smells the electricity” a’la The Rock. Tha Puerto Rican does the same Rock pose on the fourth turnbuckle, and then sneers at the crowd. The crowd is still booing and chanting “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” while Tha Puerto Rican hops off the turnbuckle, and removes his sunglasses and earring. COACH Well, regardless of what you consider this match, the fact is that this has the makings of a great match! COLE Oh absolutely. Both guys can fly, both guys can get technical, if you ask me, I’d say these guys are evenly matched. CABOOSE Well, nobody asked you, dingbat. Face! The lights go back on the arena. “The Corporate Champion” removes his gray HBK entrance attire, as he and Popick discuss strategy for the upcoming match. The crowd quiets down, “Know Your Role ‘99” dies down, and PRL and Popick stand in the ring awaiting Johnny “Jam” Jackson. Strobe lights start to flicker, which causes the crowd to pop loudly, and the teenage fan girls to squeal. The intro to “Make Her Say” starts playing… *In a world full of posers, phonies, and pure wannabes, There finally emerges a group Which has come to set the record straight. So, all you suckers betta recognize, ya heard Can you say uhhh na na na na,,,* After that, when the heavy beat kicks in, the lights go spastic. The entrance doors opens, and Johnny Jackson does backflip onto the entrance ramp. He rocks his head to “Make Her Say” by O-Town, getting the crowd hyped up. Jackson busts out some dance moves, while PR and Popick look from inside the ring, unimpressed. Jackson begins his walk to the ring, slapping hands with the fans with a wide smile on his face while his entrance theme blares over the speakers. BUFFER And his opponent, representin’ the 3-1-5 Detroit, Michigan. Weighing in at 215 lbs. He is one-half of the Global Party Exchange, JOHNNY “JAMMMMM” JAAAACCCCKKKKSSSSOOOONNNNNNNNN!!!!! COACH Tha Puerto Rican and Johnny “Jam” Jackson are both are on the road to AngleMania IV, and tonight, their roads intersect. This will be the first ever meeting between these two, infact, it’s the first time, The Lightning Crew and GPX have interacted with each other in any way whatsoever. COLE Both PRL and Jackson have big matches at AngleMania. Johnny and his tag team partner Scotty Static will take on Chicks Over Dicks for the OAOAST Tag Team Titles, and Tha Puerto Rican will battle Panther inside a 16-foot high Steel Cage, “Rage In The Cage: PR/Panther II”. COACH And you can just imagine how Panther is feeling after what happened earlier tonight. Thomas Rodriguez screwed him out of that match against Vitamin X earlier tonight. Johnny Jackson hops onto the ring apron, and points at PRL and Popick. PRL and Popick jaw with Jackson. CABOOSE Ah, Panther had it coming. He messed with the referee. Panther should know by now that you should respect OAOAST referees, and he didn’t do that. COLE Thomas Rodriguez was an obvious biased referee. He’s the Official Referee of The Lightning Crew for crying out loud! It was all a setup. The fact that Thomas was refereeing a match between Panther, PR’s opponent at AngleMania, against Vitamin X, a Lightning Crew member. This was all done just to mess with Panther 2 weeks before “Rage In The Cage”. Johnny “Jam” Jackson hops into the ring, and climbs the second rope, raising his arms in the air. The crowd cheers loudly. Johnny smiles a wide smile, and then hops off the ropes. CABOOSE Panther had it in for Rodriguez right from the start! You didn’t see the look in his eyes when the match started? COACH Did you see the look on Thomas Rodriguez’s face when the match started? He looked like he had something devious up his sleeve! He was LAUGHING at Panther! It was all planned from the beginning. That was a fast count; the match shouldn’t have ended that way! CABOOSE Everything looked fine to me. COLE Then you must get some glasses, because it was definitely a screwy match earlier tonight. Referee Nick Patrick checks Johnny “Jam” Jackson, and then checks Tha Puerto Rican. “Make Her Say” by O-Town dies down, and the crowd quiets down, waiting for the match to begin. CABOOSE Like I said, everything was fine to me. Nick Patrick calls for the bell. Johnny “Jam” Jackson heads to a turnbuckle. Stephen Joseph Popick gives PRL some last few words of strategy, and then heads out of the ring. “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican stares at Johnny Jackson, and the timekeeper rings the bell. *DING DING DING* “THE CORPORATE CHAMPION” THA PUERTO RICAN (with STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK) vs. JOHNNY “JAM” JACKSON PRL stares at Jackson with a disgusted look on his face. Jackson is still smiling, pumped up for this match. COACH Johnny Jackson is known more for being one-half of the GPX, but can you imagine the boost his single career might get if he beats Tha Puerto Rican? COLE A win over PRL will certainly do wonders for the career of Johnny “Jam” Jackson. CABOOSE Well, if you’re going to pick an opponent to show off your singles skills, what better opponent to pick than Tha Puerto Rican? He is the wrestler all other wrestlers are judged by in the OAOAST you know. COLE Well, I wouldn’t go that far, but PRL is definitely a big singles star in the OAOAST, and a win over him can certainly help his career. Tha Puerto Rican trash talks Johnny. “THE CORPORATE CHAMPION” THA PUERTO RICAN You’re just a wannabe you know that? You can wear all the hip-hop clothes you want, talk all the hip-hop slang you can, and watch all the BET 106 And Park you can, but you’re still be just a wannabe white kid. Me? I’M REAL HIP-HOP, boy. I was hip-hop when before you was born. And I’m the real deal, unlike you. Watch this chump; let me break it down for you. STOP! HAMMERTIME! Tha Puerto Rican does the “running man” in the ring, which causes the crowd to laugh. Johnny Jackson tries very hard to stifle his laugh, while Popick cheers PRL on. PRL does some moves not seen since the MC Hammer “You Can’t Touch This” music video, and then does some (bad) breakdancing in front of Jackson. PRL Poppin’ and lockin’ fool! CABOOSE Hey, check this out. Tha Puerto Rican isn’t such a bad dancer, isn’t he? Oh yeah! He’s kickin’ it OLD SKOOL~!!! BOOOYYYEEEEE!!! COLE Well, I wouldn’t exactly call PRL the best breakdancer out there. CABOOSE What are you talking about? He’s the man! Go PR! It’s your birthday! Get busy! Get busy! PRL does a headspin, and then gets in Jackson’s face. THA PUERTO RICAN You just got SERVED, BIA-ATCHH~!!! CABOOSE Oh SNAP~! OH SNAP~! No he didn’t! No he didn’! Oh NO HE DIDN’T! COACH You think Jackson is impress by PRL’s skillz? CABOOSE He should be. He just got SERVED~! COLE I don’t think that’s a serve. CABOOSE Yes it was. PRL has Johnny’s number when it comes to dancing! Tha Puerto Rican poses and receives boos. Johnny “Jam” Jackson looks unimpressed with PRL’s dancing. He yawns, and then starts doing some pretty damn good breakdancing moves which pops the crowd. He switches from the robot, to poppin’ and lockin’, to a headspin. COLE Hey, Johnny “Jam” Jackson is not so bad himself. CABOOSE Eh, PRL is better. Johnny finishes his dance routine by doing a moonwalk that causes the girls to squeal for some reason. He strikes a hip-hop pose, and the crowd applauds. Tha Puerto Rican is not happy at all. Jackson does a “tough guy” pose, which just annoys PRL and Popick some more. “YOU GOT SERVED! YOU GOT SERVED! YOU GOT SERVED! YOU GOT SERVED!” COLE I gotta agree there. Johnny was definitely the better dancer. COACH Oh yeah. Tha Puerto Rican was just SERVED~! BIG TIME. CABOOSE Ah, who cares about some stupid dance contest? This is wrestling! Johnny maybe the better dancer, but PRL is the better wrestler! The fans continue chanting “YOU GOT SERVED!” until Tha Puerto Rican can’t take it anymore, and rushes towards Jackson, hitting him in the back with the CLUBBERIN’~! THEY BE CLUBBERIN~! forearms. CABOOSE Ah, here we go. That’s better. Tha Puerto Rican grabs a headlock on Jackson, and cinches it tighter. “Jam” escapes from the headlock, by shoving PRL into the ropes. Jackson rushes towards PR, but Lightning leapfrogs over him. He follows with a reverse leapfrog, and then Tha Puerto Rican brings Johnny Jackson down with an arm-drag, P.R. holds on, applying an arm-bar on Jackson. The crowd is still cheering, but it isn’t helping Jackson escape the arm-bar. The crowd chants “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” PRL jaws with the fans, as Johnny is beginning to show signs of life. COLE Tha Puerto Rican, “The Corporate Champion”, arguably the most hated superstar in the OAOAST today. CABOOSE These fans are stupid. How dare they boo somebody as good Tha Puerto Rican? Johnny pleads with the crowd for support, and they start clapping their hands in unison. Jackson is soon on one knee, but the arm-bar is still applied. Jackson tries to escape the arm-bar, and finally does so, giving PRL several shoulder blocks, loosening the hold. Johnny beats on Tha Puerto Rican, giving him repeated blows to the face. He Irish Whips Tha Puerto Rican into the ropes, and goes for a clothesline, however, Tha Puerto Rican ducks, and comes back with a flying clothesline knocking the 6’1” GPX member down to the mat. PRL quickly gets back on offense, kicking Jackson in the head, trying to keep him down. PRL pumps up his boots, heads to the ropes, stops, shakes his shoulders, dusts his right shoulder off, and drops a right fist onto the forehead of Johnny “Jam” Jackson. He goes for the cover. 1… KICK OUT! COLE Tha Puerto Rican may have the advantage now, but it’s going to take a lot more to defeat this former Tag Team Champion. COACH PRL going right back to his ground offense, dropping fists onto the forehead of Jackson. Tha Puerto Rican does several Ted DiBiase fistdrops. PRL then resorts to choking Johnny “Jam” Jackson. Johnny gasps for air, with Referee Nick Patrick ordering Tha Puerto Rican to stop by the count of 5. PRL stops at 4, and sports a sinister smile on his face. The crowd boos loudly. “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” The Corporate Champ laughs off the insults, and heads to the top rope. He leaps off, and hits The Mad Cappa Crusher 2003 onto the throat of Jackson. PRL goes for the cover. It gets a two count. Stephen Joseph encourages PRL to continue his attack. The Corporate Champ knees Jackson in the kidney area. He picks up Jackson and whips him into a turnbuckle. PRL heads to the opposite turnbuckle, and hits Jackson with a Stinger Splash. P.R. whips “Jam” into the opposite turnbuckle, and follows with a second Stinger Splash. Jackson comes off the turnbuckle in a daze, so P.R. follows his Stinger Splashes with a Russian Legsweep. He goes for the cover. 1… 2… KICK OUT! COLE Tha Puerto Rican is really laying into the taller but thinner Jackson here. CABOOSE Like I said. This is a tune-up match for The Corporate Champ. He needs all the wrestling he can get in order to be 100% ready for “Rage In The Cage” come April 3rd. COACH And Tha Puerto Rican is right back to choking Jackson. NICK PATRICK Come on break it up! 1, 2, 3, 4! PRL Okay! Okay! I’ll follow your little rules. Ha. Ha. Ha. Tha Puerto Rican patiently waits for Jackson to get up. When he does, Tha Puerto Rican attacks with the Shinning Wizard. The crowd groans, and the sound of echoes throughout the arena. PRL stops to pose. The crowd boos loudly. “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” Tha Puerto Rican flips the crowd off, and picks Johnny “Jam” Jackson up. He chops his chest. “WOOOOOOO!” *CHOP!* “WOOOOOO!” *CHOP!* “WOOOOOO!” *CHOP!* “WOOOOOOO!” PRL then Irish whips Jackson into a turnbuckle, but Jackson reverses, and Tha Puerto Rican does a Flair Flip onto the ring apron. Tha Puerto Rican stops to pose for the crowd, and points to his head, telling the crowd how smart he is. PRL dances, but Johnny “Jam” Jackson dropkicks him from behind, causing Tha Puerto Rican to fall to the floor. The crowd cheers. Jackson plays to the crowd. COLE Whoa! And Tha Puerto Rican goes flying out of the ring, courtesy of Johnny “Jam” Jackson! COACH This seems to be an evenly matched contest. Both guys can do almost anything. They can do high-flying, technical, and brawling. It’s really 50/50 Nick Patrick begins his count, with Stephen Joseph going to check on his “Corporate Champion”. However, Johnny Jackson rushes towards PRL, and Joseph backs off. Johnny picks up the already dazed Puerto Rican and whips him into a ringpost. Tha Puerto Rican’s right shoulder hits the ringpost, and he crumbles onto the floor. Jackson picks up Tha Puerto Rican again and whips him into another ringpost. This time, PRL’s left shoulder hits the ringpost, and he crumbles to the mat. Jackson kicks PRL in the stomach, and throws him into the ring. Jackson punches Tha Puerto Rican in the face several times. Jackson whips Lightning into the ropes. Tha Puerto Rican goes for the clothesline, but the GPX member ducks the clothesline, grabs PRL from behind, and gives him the Full Nelson Slam. Tha Puerto Rican crawls to a corner of the ring, and begs Johnny to lay off his attack. The crowd boos loudly, with PRL begging for mercy. The crowd roots for Johnny Jackson to attack PRL. CABOOSE Now look at this! Tha Puerto Rican is begging for forgiveness. And what does Johnny Jam Jackson do? He attacks him. He attacks Tha Puerto Rican! You people complain about what a prick Tha Puerto Rican is, that you don’t realize that your precious little OAOAST guys are just as bad as well! COLE Johnny “Jam” Jackson just laying into “The Corporate Champion”. Whip into the ropes. And Johnny gives PRL a Flapjack! The cover. 1! 2! KICKOUT! Tha Puerto Rican rolls out of the ring, causing the crowd to boo. Stephen Joseph goes to check on his “Corporate Champion”. The crowd begins chanting “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” Tha Puerto Rican and Popick discuss strategy. PRL jaws with some fans at ringside. Johnny “Jam” Jackson dares Tha Puerto Rican to enter the ring. COLE Johnny Jackson is ready to continue this match. He wants to fight. He wants to beat Tha Puerto Rican! CABOOSE Hey, give PRL a time to catch his breath! He’s been fighting for almost 10 minutes now. Give him some time to breathe! COACH Well, there’s no crying in baseball, no rainouts in football, and no timeouts in professional wrestling! The match continues until a winner is found. PRL and Popick high five each other, and PRL enters the ring. He looks at Johnny “Jam” Jackson, and enters the ring slowly. PRL and Johnny “Jam” Jackson engage in a staredown, the crowd chanting “G-P-X! G-P-X! G-P-X! G-P-X!” The two superstars circle each other and lockup. PRL and JJJ jockey for position, but soon break the lock up. They stare at each other, and then do another lockup. Once again, they are unable to get anything going, so they resort to shoving each other. A third lockup, and JJJ gets a hammerlock on Tha Puerto Rican. He follows that up with a back suplex. Jackson picks up Puerto Rican, and whips him into the ropes. JJJ catches PRL with a powerslam, and goes for the cover. 1….2….KICK OUT! The crowd chants “LET’S GO JOHN-NY! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* LET’S GO JOHN-KNEE! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*” Jackson heads to the ropes….but Popick pulls down the ropes, and Jackson goes flying over the top rope onto the floor. COLE Now, what is this?! Popick’s cheating! How did the referee not see that?! CABOOSE Hey, you do what you got to do. The Reeses Peanut Butter Cup™ OAOAST HeldDOWN~! Instant Replay™ shows Popick pulling the ropes. Popick kicks Jackson when he’s down, literally. He then whips him into the stairs. The crowd boos loudly. Popick punches JJJ in the back, and then throws him back into the ring. Popick yells at the referee to “DO YOUR JOB!” PRL grabs JJJ, and rolls him up into a small package. The cover. 1… 2… 3---KICK OUT!!! “G-P-X! G-P-X! G-P-X! G-P-X!” Tha Puerto Rican grabs JJJ, and whips him into the ropes, giving him a Samoan Drop. PRL picks up the GPX member once again, and whips him into the ropes once more, giving him a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. PRL heads to the top rope. The crowd stands up. PRL jaws with the rabid fans. He removes his left elbow pad, and throws it into the crowd, which causes the crowd to pop for some reason. PR looks at the crowd, and then leaps off the top rope, doing the “UP YOURS!” hand gesture in mid-air, and hits the corporate elbow drop onto the chest of Johnny “Jam” Jackson to a loud face pop. CABOOSE A BEAUTIFUL elbow drop, if I may say so myself. And as you can say, The Lightning Bolts loved it too! COACH Wait, what? The Lightning What? CABOOSE I said The Lightning Bolts loved it! You know. The fans of PRL? The Lightning Bolts? That’s what PRL calls his fans: The Lightning Bolts. COLE Since when? CABOOSE Since when? What do you mean since when? Since forever? Since PRL entered the OAOAST. PRL has called his fans The Lightning Bolts forever. COLE Oh dear God. I haven’t heard of that. COACH Me either. CABOOSE You guys just aren’t in the know. PRL calls his fans The Lightning Bolts. COLE All right we’ll get this settled later, right now, Tha Puerto Rican is going for the pin. 1. 2. KICK OUT! CABOOSE Come on PRL! Do it! Do it for The Lightning Bolts! Do it for the millions and millions of your fans! Do it for each and every Lightning Bolt! Tha Puerto Rican picks up JJJ and sneers at his face. He grabs him in a ¾ facelock, and DRILLS him with the Dangerous DDT. The crowd groans. COLE MY GOSH! You felt that throughout the arena! COACH OUCH! PRL covers Jackson. It gets a two count. The crowd claps in unison, trying to get Johnny “Jam” Jackson back into the match. Tha Puerto Rican picks JJJ up, and goes to kick him, but Jackson holds onto the leg, so PRL gives him an enzuguri knocking him down to the mat. PRL picks him up again, and whips him into a turnbuckle. Tha Puerto Rican charges towards the turnbuckle, but is met with a boot from Johnny “Jam” Jackson. Tha Puerto Rican is dazed, dizzy, and sweaty, so Johnny “Jam” Jackson applies a bearhug on Tha Puerto Rican. Jackson turns the bearhug into a swinging bearhug, which causes the crowd to stand up. The swinging bearhug turns into an uranage (Rock Bottom) sending Tha Puerto Rican into the mat to a loud pop. Jackson goes for the cover. 1… 2… KICK OUT!!! COLE And Johnny Jackson almost had the pin right there, after that incredible move! COACH A swinging bearhug into a Rock Bottom? That was amazing. CABOOSE Ah, it was nothing impressive. I’ve seen better from the guys in Japan. COLE Will you stop? COACH Jackson is continuing his attack, lefts and rights onto Tha Puerto Rican. Johnny stands next to a turnbuckle. He runs, and goes for a kneedrop, but PRL moves out of the way. PRL laughs, and then grabs Jackson, and starts punching him in the face. Lefts and rights into the face of Jackson. JJJ has no time to recover from the punches, because “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican picks Johnny up, and gives him a vertical suplex. He rolls through, and does a second vertical suplex. PRL rolls through again, and lifts Johnny up for a third vertical suplex. He holds onto the suplex for a few seconds, letting the blood rush to the head. The crowd applauds the move. PR walks to the ropes. He does the “You Can’t See Me!” hand gesture, and then drops Jackson on the ropes, which bounces him back into a vertical suplex by Tha Puerto Rican. COLE The Corporate Trifecta! COACH The two rolling vertical suplexes followed by the slingshot suplex is one of PRL’s signature moves, The Corporate Trifecta! CABOOSE And again, what a beauty. Only “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican could do something so awesome. Only him. Ya heard? PRL stops to pose. The crowd boos loudly and chants “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” P.R. flips the crowd off. PRL goes to pick up JJJ, but JJJ punches him in the stomach. He punches him in the stomach again. And again. And again. PRL tries to pick up Jackson again, but Jackson grabs PRL’s tights, and throws him through the ropes onto the floor. CABOOSE Now come on! You gotta admit that Johnny Jackson cheated there! He purposely grabbed PR and threw him out of the ring. And he did it on purpose! COLE Johnny Jackson wants to continue this fight outside! He’s heading out of the ring, and towards Tha Puerto Rican. COACH I’m starting to think Tha Puerto Rican underestimated Johnny “Jam” Jackson. I’m sure he thought that Johnny was just a pretty boy with no talent. But, boy, has Johnny proved Tha Puerto Rican wrong here! COLE This hasn’t been a one-sided affair. Both men have had the advantage, which I’m sure surprised Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Popick! JJJ walks towards PRL, but PRL fires with a punch to the face. The two go back and forth with punches outside the ring. Nick Patrick counts from inside the ring, but PRL and JJJ aren’t listening. The two men are brawling outside the ring with the crowd cheering loudly. Suddenly, Popick elbows Johnny from behind. Jackson falls to the floor, so PRL and Popick put the boots to him. The crowd boos. COLE This is an unfair advantage Tha Puerto Rican has! Nick Patrick orders PRL to return to the ring, but he doesn’t listen. PRL holds “Jam” up, so Popick punches him in the jaw. PRL laughs evilly, while the teenage girls in the audience scream for Jackson to comeback. CABOOSE HA! HA! Popick is destroying the matinee idol looks of Johnny Jackson! Now all those teenage girls are going to have to find a new dude to fawn over, because once Popick is done with him, he’ll be uglier than Cole! COLE HEY! Tha Puerto Rican beats on Jackson outside the ring, and then throws him back into the ring. PRL and Popick high five each other again. The crowd chants “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” Tha Puerto Rican sneers and spits at the crowd. He enters the ring and beats on JJJ some more. Tha Puerto Rican grabs “Jam” and gives him a double underhook DDT. Cover. It gets a two count. Puerto Rican kicks Jackson in the stomach, and drops several knees on his back. P.R. grabs Johnny “Jam” Jackson’s head, and runs with him towards the ropes. PR leaps over the top rope, but still holds on to Johnny “Jam” Jackson’s head. Because of this, when PR lands on the floor, Jackson’s neck connects with the top rope. PRL lets go of Jam’s head, which causes Johnny to bounce back onto the mat. Johnny clutches his neck, as PRL gets back into the ring. COLE What a vicious move from Tha Puerto Rican! That Necksnap, that had to badly damage Johnny Jackson’s throat. CABOOSE Well, he won’t be able to say all that stupid slang if his larynx is crushed. Let’s hope PRL did a repeat of what he did to The Mad Cappa two years ago. Tha Puerto Rican enters the ring, and charges towards Johnny Jackson. He leaps over him, grabbing his neck in mid-air. Tha Puerto Rican lands on his ass, giving Johnny “Jam” Jackson a reverse neckbreaker in the process. The crowd groans. COACH OUCH! COLE People should not bend like that! CABOOSE That’s the Lightning Shock! That move he did. That’s called The Lightning Shock. The leaping followed by the reverse neckbreaker in mid-air. What an incredible move, am I right? There goes that PRL. Creating innovative moves that no one else could think of. You gotta love that guy. PR goes for the cover. 1…2…KICK OUT! Tha Puerto Rican applies a chinlock. The crowd stamps their feet in unison, chanting “G-P-X! G-P-X! G-P-X! G-P-X!” PRL jaws with the fans, with Stephen Popick telling PRL to cinch the hold tighter. “The Corporate Champion” trash talks Jackson, who is slowly and slowly fading. Referee Nick Patrick checks on the hold, with PRL asking him to check if Jackson has given up. The ref puts Jackson’s arm up. It falls. Popick smiles. Patrick grabs Jackson’s left arm again. It falls. Popick is still smiling. Patrick grabs the left arm one more time…. AND IT DOESN’T FALL! PRL is shocked. JJJ is shaking, showing signs of life, which causes the crowd to roar louder. JJJ gets on one knee, the chinlock still applied. He gets on his feet, and elbows PRL in the gut several times. Finally, the chinlock is released, and Johnny Jackson heads to the ropes…. only to be met with a SPIINNNNEEEBBUUUSSSTTEEERRRR! Jackson lies in the middle of the ring, so PRL looks at the roaring crowd, and gets an idea. He stands over Jackson, and gets ready to deliver the IntenseZone Elbow. PRL removes his right elbow pad, spits on it, and throws it onto Jackson’s face. He does some weird hand signals, and then bounces off the ropes, leaps over JJJ, and bounces off the ropes again. CABOOSE Are you ready? It’s now time, for the most electrifying move in professional wrestling, NOT sports-entertainment, The IntenseZone Elbow! PRL stops…. and DOES THE CHICKEN DANCE~!!! The crowd laughs, and then PRL drops the IntenseZone Elbow to a loud pop. The cover. 1… 2… 2.99999999999999999999999999999 KICKOUT!!! Tha Puerto Rican is pissed off. Popick tells him to continue the attack. By this point, both men are fatigued, breathing hard, and moving slowly. JJJ takes a while to get up. PRL gets up first, and goes to work, punching him in the face. COACH This is great. PRL probably did not expect that Johnny “Jam” Jackson would last as long as he has in this match! Even with everything PRL is dishing out, Jackson is still fighting back! I hope Chicks Over Dicks are watching this match, because they are seeing just a preview of what they can expect when they defend their Tag Team Titles against Johnny and Scotty Static, GPX, come AngleMania IV. The crowd begins chanting “JOHN-NEE! JOHN-NEE! JOHN-NEE! JOHN-NEE!” Tha Puerto Rican and Johnny Jackson are back up again, and both are trading blows. PRL gains the advantage, and goes behind Johnny, going for a German Suplex. He tries to lift him up, but can’t. He tries again, but Johnny holds on. Johnny goes behind Tha Puerto Rican, and goes for a German Suplex of his own. However, PRL holds on. He goes for it again, but PRL holds on, and reverses it again, and finally, PRL lifts Johnny Jackson up and over for the German Suplex. PRL gets right up, pounds his chest, and yells out “THE CHAMP IS HERE!” The crowd boos. CABOOSE THAT’S RIGHT BABY! THE CHAMP IS HERE! SHOW THAT JABRONY WHO’S BOSS! SHOW THAT JABRONY WHO THE MAN IS! PRL grabs Jackson and delivers the bulldog. The man formerly known as Puerto Rican Lightning slowly gets up, and grabs JJJ. He punches him in the face several times, and then Irish whips him into the ropes. Jackson goes for a clothesline, but PRL ducks…. and hits the Flying Forearm. PRL kips up immediately following the forearm to loud boos. COLE There it is. The setup for the Corporate Nightmare. The bulldog, followed by the flying forearm, followed by the kip-up, and Sweet Chin Music. This has been done to many opponents; will Johnny “Jam” Jackson be the next victim of the Corporate Nightmare? CABOOSE Oh you damn right, he will be. The crowd chants “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” PRL laughs at the crowd, ignoring the chants, and heads to a turnbuckle. He looks at Jackson, who is still lying on the mat, and stomps his right boot on the mat. 1,2,3. 1,2,3. 1,2,3. He yells at Johnny to get up. PRL does the “Tuning up the band” a’la Shawn Michaels, with the crowd yelling for Jackson to block the kick. CABOOSE Here we go this is it! Hey Johnny, it’s about time you heard some good music, like some Sweet Chin Music, for example! Jackson is on one knee, and is slowly getting up. Popick is tapping the mat; frustrated that Jackson isn’t up yet. PRL is still “Tuning up the band”. 1,2,3. 1,2,3. 1,2,3. Finally, JJJ is in a vertical position. He is a little dizzy, dazed, and fatigued, so therefore, he doesn’t notice PRL rushing at him with the Sweet Chin Music, until it’s too late. *BAM!* COLE The Sweet Chin Music connects! CABOOSE And you know what that means! JJJ lies on the mat, clutching his chin. The crowd boos loudly. PRL sneers at the crowd, a sinister smile appearing on his face. He looks at the crowd, some fans waiting in anticipation for what they know PRL will say next. “THAT’S IT!” Some fans pop, as PRL heads to a turnbuckle, and gets ready to deliver the Corporate Nightmare. Johnny “Jam” Jackson is still on the mat. PRL and Popick are yelling at him to get up, while the crowd is begging for him to stay down. COLE And here we go; PRL is ready to finish this match. The Corporate Nightmare is coming up! CABOOSE Oh, just get up now, Johnny, and get it over with! Johnny is slowly getting up. He is sitting on the mat, trying to regain his composure. PRL is still yelling at him to get up. The crowd is going wild. Johnny gets on one knee, and then slowly gets up on his own two feet. CABOOSE Here it comes! JJJ stands in the ring dizzy, dazed, and sweaty. He is breathing hard, and is in obvious pain. PRL smiles a sinister smile, and walks over to JJJ. JJJ turns around…right into a boot from PRL. Tha Puerto Rican grabs Johnny Jackson and puts him in position for the Corporate Nightmare. PRL trash talks to the crowd, not noticing the crowd screaming. The crowd is going crazy because Panther is in the ring with a chair, furious. PRL doesn’t notice this, instead, busy jawing with the fans. CABOOSE PRL LOOK OUT! PRL finally notices the screaming. He turns around…. *WHAM!!!* AND GETS HIT IN THE HEAD WITH A STEEL CHAIR BY PANTHER!!! PRL lets go of the Corporate Nightmare and falls to the mat. Johnny “Jam” Jackson gets out of the ring, in pain, and Panther stands over PRL, with the chair in his right hand, and anger in his eyes. The crowd is rabid. Referee Nick Patrick calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* (13:53) MICHAEL BUFFER Ladies and Gentlemen, the referee has determined that this match is….A NO CONTEST! Panther is still yelling at Tha Puerto Rican, who is lying on the mat in pain. He smashes the chair onto the chest of The Corporate Champ, jamming the edge of the chair into his ribs. The crowd loves it. CABOOSE HOW DARE PANTHER DO THIS? HOW DARE HE COME INTO THE RING AND SNEAK ATTACK THA PUERTO RICAN?!!! COLE THA PUERTO RICAN ASKED FOR IT AFTER WHAT HE DID EARLIER TONIGHT! SCREWING PANTHER OVER IN THAT MATCH AGAINST VITAMIN X! CABOOSE HE DIDN’T ASK FOR THIS! HE DIDN’T ASK FOR THIS AT ALL! Panther continues his attack on PRL, but then Stephen Joseph gets up onto the ring apron. Panther brings him down with a chairshot. The Lightning Crew runs into the ring. Mr. Boricua goes after Panther, and gets hit in the head with the chair. Vitamin X goes after Panther, and gets hit in the head with the chair as well. Cuban Wall charges after Panther, and gets hit in the head with a chairshot too. Thomas Rodriguez charges after Panther, but then changes his mind, and backs off. But, Panther grabs him, and punches him in the face, and follows that with a chairshot to the head knocking him out. Panther is the only man standing. He yells at The Lightning Crew, screaming obscenities a mile a minute. PRL is lying in the ring knocked out. Stephen Joseph Popick outside the ring in pain. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez is standing outside the ring with a worried look on her face, scared to enter the ring. The rest of The Lightning Crew are all outside the ring knocked out from the chairshot. The crowd is going crazy. COACH I take it Panther has just gotten his revenge on The Lightning Crew for what they did to him earlier tonight! COLE I guess so! Panther is the last man standing! But will he be the last man standing in 2 weeks at AngleMania IV when he takes on Tha Puerto Rican in a Steel Cage Match?! CABOOSE OF COURSE NOT! HE WILL BE DESTROYED! HE WILL BE ANILIHIATED! PANTHER’S CAREER WILL END AT ANGLEMANIA!!! HE WILL BE CRIPPLED AT ANGLEMANIA IV!!! “Rock U” by Young Gunz and Beanie Sigel begins playing over the P.A. systems. The Lightning Crew is still knocked out, so Panther is still the only one conscious in the ring. He is still yelling at Tha Puerto Rican and The Lightning Crew while the crowd is cheering. COLE The feud between Panther and Tha Puerto Rican is not about a title, it’s about pride. These two want to find out just who really is the best. And they will find out in two weeks time, when they meet in a Steel Cage Match. “Rage In The Cage: PR/Panther II”. It’s going to happen, and it will happen at OAOAST AngleMania IV: The Classiest AngleMania Ever! CABOOSE We are only 2 weeks away from one of the best nights in PRL’s life. In 2 weeks time, Panther will realize what happens when you piss off Tha Puerto Rican. In 2 weeks, Panther will regret ever messing with Tha Puerto Rican. In 2 weeks time, Panther will suffer a Corporate Nightmare! COACH Wow you seem surprisingly calm, now Boo-Boo. CABOOSE That’s because I am saving my energy. Saving my energy for two weeks from now, when Tha Puerto Rican DESTROYS PANTHER. When Tha Puerto Rican CRUSHES PANTHER. WHEN THA PUERTO RICAN CRIPPLES PANTHER! WHEN THA PUERTO RICAN DEFEATS PANTHER!! WHEN THA PUERTO RICAN WINS AT ANGLEMANIA!!! I WILL SAVE ALL MY ENERGY, SO THAT WHEN PRL WINS AT ANGLEMANIA IV, I WILL CELEBRATE, AND I WILL CELEBRATE USING 100% OF MY ENERGY! PANTHER WILL LOSE AT ANGLEMANIA! MARK MY WORDS, PANTHER WILL LOSE!!! YOU HEAR THAT? HE WILL LOSE! IT’S OVER! IT WILL BE THE END! IT’s— COLE CABOOSE! Calm down. COACH Yeah, switch to decaf. CABOOSE (Ahem). Sorry. Panther is still in the ring, playing to the crowd. He leaves the ring, looking at the bodies of The Lightning Crew writhing on the floor. He walks up the entrance ramp, still pissed off, muttering under his breath. “Rock U” is still playing, as PRL is now just getting up. COLE What a night we’ve had so far. And we still got more to come. We’ll be back with more HeldDOWN~! right after this! CABOOSE YOUR CAREER WILL END AT ANGLEMANIA, PANTHER! COLE & COACH SHUT UP!!! Panther raises his arms one more time and then leaves through the entrance doors. The last image is of “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican still lying on the mat in pain. “Rock U” by Young Gunz and Beanie Sigel continues playing as we cut to commercial. (BREAK!) As HeldDOWN~! returns from break, a quick shot of the ring reveals a more lavish set up than just a canvas and ropes. In the ring stands a table with a black covering, along with four seats, two on each side. Also in the ring is OAOAST Corporate Representative TIM MOYSEY~!, the former Treble Charged and original HD~! GM. TIM Fans, it is great to have my feet in an OAOAST ring once again. Tonight, I've been sent here as a liason by the Board of Directors to oversee a contract signing for a matchup that will be taking place Sunday, April 3rd at Anglemania IV. At this time I'd like to introduce two of the participants in that match... "Quiet" hits, and the fans are anything but, as their vocal chords are strained while they boo the most famed tag team in OAOAST history as they arrive on the scene. TIM They are Dan Black and Tony "The Body" Brannigan, ladies and gentlemen, BLACK T! Clad in expensive black suits, the treacherous duo who look to rule the OAOAST with iron grips step into the ring, each one blowing off the return of their contemporary, and instead choosing to pose in a gloating, taunting fashion for their detractors. COLE These two are just sick individuals. Look at them, proud of everything they've done these last several weeks. CABOOSE They're taking matters into their own hands, but if their heads get any bigger... COACH That only happens to me during Crystal ma- CABOOSE OK, make ONE dick joke and I duct tape you to the chair with a sock in your mouth for the rest of the night. Black T converse and then take seats, mockingly nodding to Tim as they wait for their opposition to come out and sign on the dotted line. "Getting Away With Murder" hits, and the song that once drew the loudest boos in the company now draws some of the loudest cheers. Decked out in jeans and a short sleeve striped button down is Zack Malibu, who starts storming down the aisle, making Black T stand up and fold up their chairs in protection. CWM comes RUNNING out from the back, getting in front of Malibu and trying to ease his tension, knowing full well that an irrational act could be the death knell on Zack's career. CABOOSE Who ever thought CWM of all people would be a voice of reason? COLE Who ever thought he'd be teaming up with Zack Malibu at the biggest show of the year? Malibu sneers at Black T, who egg him on by calling him out. CWM speaks to him, telling him "the time is not now", and calms the psychotic prep down a bit before they enter the ring. CWM eyes Black T, fully aware that they could strike at any time, and the four men who will do battle at Anglemania stand across from each other, staring each other down. TIM Guys...guys if you'll sit down we can do this quickly and without incident. At Anglemania, it has been agreed upon that the four of you will take each other on in tag team action. Black T, you will be the first to sign the contract. Tim slides the clipboard to Dan Black, who looks over the contract for all of two seconds before nodding in approval. DAN Yeah...yeah looks good, mmhmm, yep...ok Tony, you sign! Dan hands the clipboard to Tony after adding his John Hancock to it, and the Body simply scrawls his name under Dan's. TONY Signed, sealed, and delivered. Now Malibu, here...sign your death warrant! Tony takes the clipboard and reaches over, shoving the contract into Malibu's chest. Zack jumps to his feet, as do CWM, Dan and Tony, all facing off with each other. TIM GUYS...sit down NOW! CWM, Zack, sign the contract. These things are always such a bad idea... Malibu lowers his head, but keeps his eyes focused across the table as he pens his name, and then slides the contract over to CWM. CWM looks over the contract for a moment, but his attention to detail wears thin on Dan Black. BLACK Let's go, metalhead. Some of us...CLEAN people would like to get on with our lives. I mean, these people didn't want to see a contract signing tonight! COLE Since when does DAN BLACK know what the fans want? BLACK C'mon people, call me a liar. Didn't you REALLY come here to see CWM and Zack Malibu get their asses handed to them prior to Anglemania? The fans roar AND boo, as they want to see a fight, but with the opposite result. BLACK So c'mon, CWM. Malibu already signed his death warrant. You sign too, and Tony and I will go easy on you tonight, that way there's SOMETHING left for Anglemania. CWM is fuming now, ready to snap the pen in his hand. Dan smirks at him, while Tony motions his hand in a "come on" taunt. BLACK STOP TAKING UP ALL OF OUR TIME? WILL YOU JUST DO IT ALREADY? SOBER MY A... The table goes flying over, and Black T scatter back, as CWM is PISSED! The fans roar at his inability to keep his cool, and Black T are frightened. Malibu moves forward, standing side by side with his one time enemy, and ready to kick some Elite ass... ...UNTIL HE'S POLLYCUTTERED OUT OF NOWHERE!?!??!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?! COLE The HELL? CABOOSE What was THAT? COACH It was a Polly- CABOOSE SHUT UP, COACHMAN! CWM stands over the fallen body of Zack Malibu, and even Black T are shocked...until they step over the turned over table and embrace CWM in a group hug that draws boos like you wouldn't believe! COLE Sonuva...it was a set up all along! CWM was a plant by Black T! Dan picks up the mic, while CWM and Tony put the boots to Malibu, pounding on him even harder every time he tries to get up to his feet. BLACK Malibu, we warned you! We told you not to bother coming back for more, but YOU DIDN'T LISTEN! Now look at you! We set you up with a plan that would make a Bond villain blush! You had NOBODY, and before anyone could bother warming up to you, we had CWM play hero. Gain your trust, well, somewhat. But now...now at Anglemania you've got one hell of a challenge awaiting you, because you see this contract? CWM's name is going to be under mine, and under Tony's, and the THREE of us...the REAL Original Elite are going to destroy the legacy of Zack Malibu FOREVER! Malibu pushes up, trying to grab the clipboard, but gets kicked across the face by Dan Black's dress shoe clad foot. Black T then lead Malibu to his feet, as CWM takes the mic. CWM For years now...YEARS this crap has gone on. Zack Malibu will save us, Zack Malibu is the man...ZACK MALIBU IS A PIECE OF SHIT! Zack Malibu is NOT synonymous with the OAOAST. The two men who started the damn thing, me and Tony Brannigan are! We are the power brokers here! Dan Black just makes it even better, because he's another guy that got suckered by you fairweather fans for a long time and is better off now that his true emotion shows. Zack...Zack...you know what. I can't do this to you, Malibu. I can't let you linger until Anglemania. I can't let you leave this ring tonight alive, Zack. I can't. CWM drops the mic and exits the ring, going out under the ring apron...and pulling out a long metal rod with the end twisted into a design. COLE He's got a BRANDING IRON! Malibu tries to fight off, but Dan Black takes him and knees him in the stomach, then floors him with a Blackout! With Malibu down, Black T tear his shirt open, and CWM pulls a lighter out from his jeans pocket. CWM I guess you could say this is my "brand" of justice Zack...for throwing me off a cell, for putting me through a windshield...for leaving me with aches and pains every morning I get up. For leaving me with the scars of our wars...I hate you Zack Malibu. I hate you. I HATE YOU! CWM drops the mic and lights the end of the branding iron. The blazing metal rod is held high, as a down Malibu squirms slightly, but is too weak to fight back. COLE What the...this is not right! Not even for Zack Malibu, I mean no one deserves this! CABOOSE He's lost it. That nutcase is going to set Malibu ablaze! Black T egg CWM on, but he hesitates, looking down on Zack...and spitting on his fallen body! COACH Yuck. COLE This is disgusting! The fans look to the entranceway, but no one is coming. CWM takes the rod and points it downward, slowly driving it towards the chest of Zack Malibu. CABOOSE I can't believe no...you know what, the hell with this! A thump is heard as a headset drops, and the fans ROAR for something off screen, and roar even louder... ...AS CABOOSE LEAPS UP FROM SOFA CENTRAL AND SLIDES INTO THE RING! COACH YO~! COLE CABOOSE~! CABOOSE IS TAKING THEM ON! The crowd is ELECTRIC as Tony and Dan get up and charge, only to be floored by Caboose's punches! Tony gets pulled up and thrown to the corner, then flattened by a Stinger Splash by the former World Champion! Dan Black spins Caboose around, but he's immediately pulled up over the wrestler-turned-announcers shoulders...AND HIT WITH THE EMERALD FUSION! COLE CABOOSE JUST TOOK OUT DAN BLACK! Caboose stands up, and now it's a staredown of the former aWo, as CWM stands with his branding iron, ready to make a move, with Caboose daring him to do so! CWM charges, but Caboose sidesteps it, stealing the branding iron in the process...and chases CWM from the ring! "CABOOSE!" "CABOOSE!" "CABOOSE!" COACH I don't believe it Mikey Cole! This is amazing! Caboose eyes Black T and CWM as they retreat up the aisle, then claims the droppped microphone. CABOOSE I don't mean to sound like Popeye, but I can't stands no more! (CROWD POPS) CABOOSE Personally me and Zack have rarely seen eye to eye, hell we damn near killed each other fighting for the World Title all those years ago, but I respect the guts he showed then, and the guts he shows now! Guts is one thing you can't teach. One thing you cant learn. You've either got guts, or you don't. This man has given his heart and soul to this company. Has he done things that didn't make everyoen proud? We're all guilty of that. You cannot single out Zack Malibu for that. I knew Zack Malibu was for real three years ago when he and I did battle for the World Heayweight Title. I knew Zack Malibu was for real two years ago when corporate pissed on me and it was Zack Malibu who lent me a hand as a man of his word, and as a friend. It was Zack Malibu who ignited that fire in my belly once again, and brought me back to the dance. All of you watching in the back, you fans in the crowd...this man is a survivor. This man has nearly died while doing the one thing that means most to him...protecting this company that heh helped to build when I passed the torch to him. Now the decision to cheer him is up to you people. I will not force the issue on you and tell you Zack Malibu has changed. In fact, it's most likely the opposite. He's out for blood...the blood of you three. It has been the fans decision to cheer Zack Malibu! It has been the fans decision to support him at Anglemania as he takes on three men...but let it be known, let it be heard right now...he is NOT going at it alone. ...Not while I'm around. (CROWD POPS HUGE) COLE ARE YOU KIDDING ME!??! CABOOSE Week in week out, night after night, cliche after cliche, I've sat at that announcer's desk and watched Zack get disrespected. He's done more for this company than anyone, and that includes you C-Dub! I know you and Tony love to tell anyone who'll listen that you guys are the OAOAST's fathers, well if you guys are the fathers, then Zack is the OAOAST's eldest son! Now I haven't stepped in a ring to wrestle in almost two years, but damn I'm gonna lace my boots up tight cos at AngleMania IV, I'll make my return to AngleMania alongside Zack cos someone needs to learn you boys some respect. And come hell or high water, Me and Zack will. Caboose drops the mic.rophone and walks over to a bruised Zack, pulling his tattered form up off the canvas and holding him, making sure he can stand upright. Zack lifts his head, his glazed eyes glaring into the eyes of a man he once faced off with. The first man to ever give him a World Title shot in the company. The man who saved him when all was nearly lost against the psycho-religious Stephen Joseph and his cronies two years ago. The two OAOAST superstars stare each other down, as Zack backs away, unsure of what to expect...and Caboose extends a hand. Malibu distrustfully eyes him, still smarting from CWM's betrayal...but takes the hand of Caboose, and the two men shake and then hug to a HUGE pop! COLE I'll be...what a matchup that is going to be! We came into HD tonight thinking that CWM and Zack Malibu would take on Black T, but now we've got Black T AND CWM against Zack and...CABOOSE!? What could happen next? We've GOT to take a break after this one, folks. COACH Yeah, we'll be back...next week. The show is over, moron. (FADE TO BLACK)

OAOAST HeldDOWN~! U MAKE ME WANNA LA LA!!!!! I missed the Ashlee Simpson show last night. I’m so pissed! I don't think anything is as good as Making The Band 3. That Jason guy is an ass! LOGO: We go to the live arena! *BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM~!* The fans COME ALIVE as "Black" kicks in over the arena loudspeakers, signaling the arrival of HOFF!! Clad in his street clothes, the big superstar steps out from behind the curtain, looking left and right before bellowing "COME ON!" and waving the screaming crowd up!! The fans get to their feet and cheer their fool heads off!! COLE What a way to start the show!! CABOOSE I don't think it's so great! Hoff walks down the aisle, slapping hands with fans at ringside while keeping his expression serious. As the hard rock strains wail away, Hoff slides into the ring, climbs the near corner, and throws his arms to the side, tensing his muscles and ROARING for the fans. The fans respond in kind, giving their love to the larger-than-life star. COACH Hoff is looking GOOD! CABOOSE You two are so gay, I can't believe you don't just start making out. COLE Sometimes, it's a challenge. Hoff hops off the buckles and walks over to the timekeeper, who hands him a microphone. Hoff heads to the middle of the ring, looking around while the chants press on. "HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF" COLE One of three men with an opportunity to walk out of Anglemania IV as champion! The chanting finally subsides, and Hoff raises the microphone to his lips. HOFF So in ten days, I finally get the chance to take back my title... "YEEEEEEEEEEEAH!!!!" HOFF But tonight isn't about that. The fans buzz, puzzled. COLE Huh? HOFF Tonight is about someone else all together. Someone who I won't be facing at Anglemania, but lately I wish I was. Someone named.....Crystal. "BOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" HOFF Because you see, it seems like every time I get my hands on Crystal lately, I can't finish the job. No, as much as I'd like to plant Crystal six feet under, somehow, someway, she gets away. And it's all thanks to what she has done to a man I used to call my friend. A man named Adam...you people know him as AXEL. Axel's name gets a very mixed reaction. COLE Hoff has indeed been stopped from hurting Crystal by Axel over the past few weeks! CABOOSE That's because Axel is powerless, Cole! He can't hurt Crystal, and he can't let anyone else, either. Hoff takes a breath before continuing. HOFF Now Crystal, over the past few weeks, not only did you break Axel's heart...you used what was left of him as your own personal bodyguard. You used him to keep you safe, because you knew he couldn't bring himself to lay a hand on you. And with this new toy of yours, you went after the one person you knew wanted to hurt you the most: me. Fans cheer Hoff's evil intentions as the big man continues. HOFF Crystal, you knew that I'd want a piece of you after what you did to my friend, and so you beat me to the punch. You and Drek Stone set up a little trap, and Axel and I fell right in. And after you took us out, you laughed. You laughed your little slut head off, because you knew you had us right where you wanted. See, at Anglemania, it might just come down to Hoff vs. Axel for the OAOAST World Title. No....it WILL come down to Hoff vs. Axel for the OAOAST World Title. Hoff smiles for a second as the fans cheer, before the serious expression returns. And so you played us against each other. You gave me reasons to hit you, and that gave Axel reasons to hit me. You played us like puppets, Crystal. But the fact is that the puppets are in revolt, and the puppetmaster -- that's you, bitch (crowd pop) -- is going down. And you better believe, one day, Axel is going to stand up to you and say "no more." "YEEEEEEEEAH!!!" HOFF But until that day arrives, you've got a walking, talking, six-foot-five, two-hundred sevety-five pound problem to deal with, and I'm not waiting one more damn second. Crystal, get your ass out here, NOW! The fans go wild as Hoff lowers the microphone and waves Crystal on from the back. No one comes out....and suddenly.... Woke Up This Morning Got Yourself a Gun Mama Always Said You'd Be The Chosen One "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" A rousing chorus of jeers greets not Crystal, but the reigning OAOAST World Champion, DREK STONE. CABOOSE Now THIS is how you open a show! Dressed sharply, with the OAOAST World Title belt draped over one arm, Drek smiles a cocky smile at Hoff. Drek holds a mic. DREK Hoff.... Drek shakes his head while the crowd boos him out of the building. DREK You dumb bastard. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" DREK How do you ever expect to win anything if you can't focus on the task at hand? CABOOSE Man makes a good point! DREK I mean, here you are, ten days from the most important match of your life, and you're worried about...Crystal?! You sorry fool. "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" DREK Crystal is currently busy derailing the career of the man you WOULD face if you beat me -- which, rest assured, WILL NOT happen -- "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" DREK And you want to take this obvious advantage and throw it away. And for what? Three minutes of revenge? Please, Hoff, think this through. Although I grant you, it's probably the only time your roid-infested body could last three minutes with Crystal. The crowd is shocked despite themselves, and a few laughs trickle out before being ENGULFED in a sea of boos. The fans are NOT happy with the allegation leveled against their hero. By the looks of it, neither is the hero. DREK And so, minuteman, once again you see why I am the champion. Because while you've got all these distractions in your feeble mind, I am focused on only one thing: this. Drek looks at and pats the title before looking up at a fuming Hoff. Drek smirks, prompting Hoff to raise the microphone to his lips. HOFF You know, Drek, you're right. I should be more focused. And seeing as how Crystal isn't coming out, and I'm in the mood to kick a little ass... Drek looks puzzled as Hoff drops the microphone. The fans cheer, though, as realization hits Drek in the form of Hoff storming out of the ring! Drek's eyes go white as Hoff starts barrelling down the ramp, and Drek turns tail! Drek slinks behind the curtain, and Hoff gives chase!! COLE Word is we have a camera standing by! Camera, you there? Indeed it is, as the view on the AngleTron, and the homes across the world, changes to a shot of the back! Drek Stone runs by, clinging desparately to his title, and Hoff storms past in pursuit!! Drek rounds a corner, and Hoff follows... *CLANG* The sick sound of metal on flesh is heard, as the camera finally rounds the corner to see...JUMBO!!! COLE What the hell?! Jumbo stands over Hoff, who holds his forehead in his hands. Jumbo throws down the chair he's holding, and looks at Drek, who laughs before reaching into his pocket. Drek pulls out a roll of what appear to be $100 bills, and hands a wad of the cash to Jumbo. DREK Nice work, big man, nice work. Give your buddy Chris my regards. COACH I can't believe it! Chris Stevens is out but Jumbo is still here! CABOOSE A man's got to earn a living! Drek pats Jumbo on the shoulder, and the big man, sparing one last glance for Hoff, trodges away. Drek smiles cruelly as he looks down at Hoff, before stomping away at the big man. The fans are irate as Drek Stone lays in some vicious kicks to Hoff. DREK THINK YOU CAN BEAT ME? HUH? DO YOU?!? Drek stomps away, until finally pulled off by CARL WINSLOW~ and OAOAST Security. CARL F'N WINSLOW Wait until I tell Harriet about this one... As security escorts Drek off, the Champion can be heard shouting. DREK ANGLEMANIA, HOFF! I AM GONNA SHOW YOU WHY I'M THE CHAMPION!! I AM GOING TO BURY YOU!! YOU JUST WAIT!! As Drek's voice trails off, the cameras turn back to Hoff, who gets to one knee. Hoff looks down the hallway, holding his head in obvious pain. If looks could kill, Drek Stone would be a dead man. COLE These two will meet at Anglemania IV at Trump Plaza!! But we've got a lot more ahead, so stay with us! (GO TO BREAK) (RETURN FROM BREAK) A deep, slow voiced man saids “LIGHTNING CREW!” The crowd stands up and starts booing quite loudly. The lights go down. Slowly flashing white lights cover the entrance as the opening of "No Chance In Hell" is heard over the P.A. System. The first verse in the song begins as the AngleTron shows the Lightning Crew entrance video. The white flashing lights continue and then after the lyrics "Pussy politicians buying souls for us are puppets! (Puppets!)", Vitamin X comes out slowly walking to the ring. *DING DING DING* MICHAEL BUFFER Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall, with a 30 minute T.V. time limit. Introducing first, coming down the ramp. Weighing in at 248 lbs., from Miami, Florida. He is the “Financial Consultant for The Lightning Crew” VITAMIN XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!! COLE Well, coming up next, Panther will take on one of the members of the stable whose leader he will face April 3rd at AngleMania IV, Tha Puerto Rican. Vitamin X is going to go head-to-head with Panther in just a few moments. COACH Last week Vitamin X complained about not getting enough TV on OAOAST Television compared to Tha Puerto Rican. PRL told him that it would be better for X to go out there and make a difference instead of complaining to him, so maybe X wants to use this match as a way to make a difference. CABOOSE You gotta love PRL. He truly cares about his friends. Otherwise, why would he give them advice to better their lives? COLE Because he wants them to leave him alone? CABOOSE Yuh…I won’t even bother trying to respond to that. Vitamin X continues his walk to the ring as “No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Boyds continues to play. He hops on a turnbuckle and crosses his arms into an X when the music picks up a bit, ala HHH's poses/spits water. The crowd boos loudly. X doesn’t acknowledged the boos, instead, he gets off the turnbuckle, and does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle, as he awaits Panther’s appearance. “No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Boyds dies down. COLE This should be a hell of a fight. Vitamin X vs. Panther coming up now! "Roc U" by the Young Gunz and Beanie Sigel kicks in over the PA system and the video feed suddenly cuts out to a black and red radar screen, at the center of which, a glowing red Panther's head appears after each sonar revolution. After the seventh revolution, the radar fades away, leaving just the glowing Panther's head. All at once, the head zooms forward, and… BOOOOOOOOOOOOM~! …we're taken back out to the darkened arena, which is rocked by a HUUUUUUUUUUGE pyro blast. A thick cloud of smoke forms at the entrance, and a bright white spotlight emits from the locker room, highlighting Panther's silhouette. The light steadily gets brighter as the cymbals begin to clash in the background, each clash accompanied by a bright red spotlight that highlights a portion of the entrance set. Finally, at approximately the 23-second mark, the white light begins to flicker and suddenly disappears as the flashing red spotlights converge on the entrance and Panther steps through the smoke. He heads out to the edge of the stage, taking a moment to take in the crowd's reaction. Then, he slowly raises his arms into the air, holding them high above his head momentarily before snapping them down by his side, at which point the red lights disperse about the arena and he starts down the ramp to the ring. BUFFER And his opponent, coming down the ramp, weighing in at 197 lbs. From Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. He is the self-proclaimed “Champion Of Champions”, He…. Is…. PAAAAANNNNTTTHHHHEEERRRRRR!!!! COLE Panther is indeed on the Road To AngleMania, as he heads to his titanic battle against Tha Puerto Rican at AngleMania IV! COACH Oh yeah. “Rage In The Cage”! I can’t wait! CABOOSE I can’t wait either, since it means that Panther won’t be on OAOAST for a while longer, once PRL takes care of him! COLE Will you stop! COACH Hey guys. Look, look! Look who the referee is! COLE Why. That’s…oh no, oh God no. Not him. CABOOSE Why it’s Thomas Rodriguez! What a great choice for referee! COLE Caboose, don’t you get it? That’s Thomas Rodriguez! CABOOSE Yeah. COACH The OFFICIAL LIGHTNING CREW REFEREE! CABOOSE So? COLE When Thomas Rodriguez is refereeing a match, which involves a Lightning Crew member, and the man who his boss, Tha Puerto Rican, will fight at AngleMania IV, don’t you think there’s a chance Thomas could be biased? CABOOSE Why of course not. Thomas Rodriguez is a fair and balanced referee. He’s always fair and square, no matter what match he is in. COLE Oh I don’t know. Considering the Rodriguez’s history with The Lightning Crew, I doubt he could be fair and balanced. Once at ringside, Panther hops upon the apron, pausing momentarily, leaning up against the top rope as a string of camera flashes light up the arena. He chuckles to himself as he looks to his left, then his right before stepping through the ropes and heading out to the center of the ring. There, he turns and takes stance in front of the main camera as, on cue, the ring goes dark, and four white spotlights begin to roam the crowd, getting brighter…and brighter…and brighter before converging on the center of the ring, where Panther snaps his right fist into the air, signaling for more pyro to explode from the ringposts. The flashing red and white spotlights return as Panther climbs the ropes and begins to play to the crowd. Panther gets off the ropes, and notices Thomas Rodriguez. Panther becomes suspicious, but Thomas advises him that he will call the match right down the middle. Panther is still suspicious, as Thomas checks him and Vitamin X before the match. COLE If I were Panther, I wouldn’t trust that guy. Thomas Rodriguez is a crooked referee, and he will see to it that Vitamin X wins this match. CABOOSE Oh would you stop being paranoid! Thomas will do nothing wrong. This match will go right down the middle. Everything will be fine, quit your bellyaching. Thomas Rodriguez calls for the bell as “Rock U” by Young Gunz and Beanie Sigel dies down. He smiles at Panther as the bell rings. *DING DING DING* PANTHER VS. VITAMIN X Just as Panther’s back is turned, Thomas Rodriguez’s smile transforms into an evil laugh. When Panther turns back to Thomas, Thomas’ smile has appeared again. COLE I don’t trust Thomas Rodriguez at all. There’s something not right about him refereeing this match. Panther and Vitamin X circle each other, and lockup. Panther gains the advantage, shoving Vitamin X into the ropes, and then punching him in the stomach. He does that again several times, with Thomas Rodriguez staying clear of the action. The crowd cheers as Panther punches X in the face, and follows with a rake to the back. Panther grabs Vitamin X’s right arm, and yanks it down, dropping him onto the canvas. Panther does this again. COLE Panther with early control in this match-up. CABOOSE Yeah, well not for long. Panther picks X up, but X scratches his eyes. X beats on Panther some more, and whips him into the ropes. Panther fires back with the Frontline, knocking Vitamin X down. Panther lays into Vitamin X with lefts and rights as the crowd cheers. Panther picks up X and whips him into the turnbuckle. Vitamin X smashes his back against the turnbuckle, and is then greeted with a dragon suplex. COLE Dragon Suplex! What a move by Panther! Panther goes for the cover. 1… 2… Panther looks at Thomas, which gives X enough time to fire back with lefts and rights. X whips Panther into the ropes, and hits a back clothesline. Vitamin X grabs Panther, and gives him a snap suplex. X whips Panther into a turnbuckle. He puts him on top, and tries to go for a superplex. However, Panther blocks the superplex. X tries again. Still nothing. Finally, Panther shoves X off the ropes, and then hits a frog splash to a loud pop. COLE Frog splash! This could be it! 1… 2… KICK OUT! CABOOSE And if you noticed, Thomas Rodriguez has called this match right down the middle. He’s an unbiased referee. COLE Yes, you are right. Thomas has called the match fair and square. Now, whether or not he continues this way, well, we shall see. CABOOSE He will, stop worrying about it. Panther gets up and beats on Vitamin X some more. Vitamin X is whipped into the ropes. Panther goes for the clothesline, but is ducked by X. X fires back with a clothesline of his own. Vitamin X then quickly applies the Lethal Injection (STF). The crowd cheers, rooting for Panther to escape. Thomas Rodriguez checks on Panther, who refuses to give up. COLE This could be it! This could be the end for Panther! COACH Will he be able to escape the Lethal Injection! CABOOSE TAP! TAP! TAP, DAMN YOU TAP! Panther slowly reaches the ropes. The crowd cheers get higher as he inches closer and closer to the ropes. Finally, Panther grabs the bottom rope…. HOWEVER, Thomas Rodriguez kicks Panther’s right hand off the bottom rope, causing loud boos to resonate from the arena. Vitamin X turns the Lethal Injection into a roll-up, and Thomas Rodriguez counts. 1…. 2… 3!!!! *DING DING DING* (1:53) COLE Hey, that was a fast count! That was a fast count! BUFFER The winner of this match…. VITAMINNNNNNN XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!!! “No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Boyds begins playing as the laughing Thomas Rodriguez raises Vitamin X’s hand in victory. X and Rodriguez embrace and laugh at the pissed off Panther. COLE I don’t believe this! That lying scumbag! Thomas Rodriguez has just screwed Panther out of a victory! That slimeball! COACH He did it infront of our very eyes. First with taking Panther’s hand off the rope even after he reached it, and then with that fast count. COLE I guess when you’re in The Lightning Crew, being fair and square isn’t a requirement! The LC members laugh an evil laugh, but when Panther gets up, furious, the two men leave the ring. COLE Those cowards, they are afraid of Panther! I hope they get what’s coming to them! Panther stands in the ring furious, his face brimming WITH ANGER~! (FADE OUT)

The three wrasslers leave the ring, while a video package imploring you to order Anglemania plays. It ends and we go back to the arena for.... OW-A-A-A-A! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM~! “Down With the Sickness” begins to blare over the PA system, the crowd responding with a mixture of cheers and boos for the AngleMania number one contender. The smoke from the pyro settles and through it comes Axel, dressed in black jeans and black Axel Logo T-Shirt (available now at OAOASTShopZone.com). His beard is gone, but the troubled look that has been present for the past three weeks still remains. Axel brings his hand to his cheek to check out the condition of his face after the slap from AJ Flaire. He rolls into the ring, not worrying about pyro, and grabs a microphone. AXEL Look… I DON’T CARE WHAT ANY OF YOU HAVE TO SAY! I DON’T CARE! I’M SICK OF EVERYONE TELLING ME WHAT TO DO! THIS IS ABOUT ME AND CRYSTAL, NOT YOU! NOT ANY OF YOU! I CAN’T TA… I’ve exposed your lies, baby And underneath no big surprise Now it’s time for changing and cleansing everything To forget your love. “Plug in Baby” by Muse hits and the crowd reacts accordingly, booing the hell out of the Female Phenom’s entrance. Crystal swaggers out to ringside, obviously happy with what she has seen so far. She steps up onto the apron and makes the referee hold the ring ropes for her and steps inside the squared circle, to face her former partner. She steals the microphone from him, with the Dark One powerless to stop her. CRYSTAL I've got you right where I want you Adam. You are mentally beaten. You're done. Hell, you probably won't ever be able to function as a wrestler again, because I've screwed with your mind so bad. And you know something? I am LOVING. EVERY. SECOND. OF. IT. I love watching your mental torture, your anguish. I love watching you squirm. Axel lowers his head and stares at his feet, a defeated man. The fans suddenly pipe up… "FUCK-HER-UP AX-EL, FUCK-HER-UP! CLAP CLAP! FUCK-HER-UP AX-EL, FUCK-HER-UP! CLAP CLAP!” COLE This is terrible, folks. CRYSTAL I'm the first girl you ever loved, and after what I did to you, I'll sure as hell be the last, because you won't ever trust again, will you? After Zero Hour, I bet you've been thinking "It was going so well! I loved her! She loved me! How could she do this?". I bet you are stil in shock Adam, aren't you. You can't function anymore. You can't sleep anymore. You can't LIVE anymore. And it's all because of me. You probably won't even make it to AngleMania before you try and put a razor to your wrists, will you baby? Huh? Have I tortured you enough? Had enough yet? I don't think so. CABOOSE Wow. CRYSTAL Well I did do this Adam; I did break your little heart. And you know what? If I had my time over, I would DO IT AGAIN. AND AGAIN. AND AGAIN. And I would STILL LOVE IT. You’re nothing anymore, washed up at eighteen. Sad story, isn’t it? How a woman can destroy a man’s career just like that. Well I did, and I’d like it to go on my gravestone when I’m a hundred. I screwed you, and I destroyed you. And to prove it, right now, I’m going to make you my little… BITCH. SLAP! Crystal slaps Axel just like AJ Flaire did earlier! Axel turns his head to accommodate the blow, with the crowd begging Axel to respond. Axel lowers his head away from Crystal, and holds the side of his face. Axel slowly lifts his head… …and he’s smiling. COACH Uh-oh Spaghettios! The crowd see the smile, and all go up as one, in anticipation of what is going to happen. Crystal, meanwhile, has no clue of this latest development. COLE What the hell is going to... OH! Axel turns around… AND GRABS CRYSTAL BY THE HAIR! “YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!” CABOOSE Oh no! Somebody stop this! He should be allowed to put his hands on a woman! COLE Crystal’s had this a long time coming! Axel looks at Crystal, who is now petrified at what is going to happen, and talks trash to her, teasing her, and laughing in her face. Axel hoists Crystal on his shoulders for an Axel Slam! “YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” CABOOSE NO! Axel turns around and looks at the crowd, who are just BEGGING him to drop her. He turns around to face the other side… …MOTHER FUCKING IMMMMMMMMPACT SPEAR????!!!?!?!?!?!? COLE WHAT THE HELL? COACH BUT WHOSE SIDE IS HE ON????!!?!?!?!?!? CABOOSE YES! YES! HE’S BACK! AND HE’S BAAAAAAAAAAAD! A shocked crowd stare in silence at the seven foot tall man now standing over The Dark One. The man raises his head and looks around at the crowd, darkness in his eyes, before checking on Crystal. The man that has not been on HeldDown since October. Gunner Sharps. COLE WHAT THE HELL IS GUNNER SHARPS DOING HERE? CABOOSE The right thing, that’s what he’s doing! Gunner rolls Crystal out of the ring to safety, before he picks up the now limp Axel, and gets him in a Standing Bodyscissors! COACH Oh my, he’s going to give Axel All Guns Blazing! COLE No! He can’t! Gunner hoists Axel over his shoulder for the running Powerbomb, and charges… but Axel rolls off and down his back! Gunner turns around, and it’s on! Right hands by Axel to the temple of Gunner! Right hands! Right hands! Gunner is up against the ropes, trying to cover up but he can’t! One big right hand from Axel has the big man reeling; Axel steps back, and delivers the HUGE UPPERCUT! COACH Man, that is IMPACT! Axel grabs Gunner and sends him for and Irish Whip. Gunner comes off of the ropes and tries a clothesline on Axel, Axel ducks under, Gunner comes off of the other side… and runs into a SPIIIIIIINEBUSTAH~!~! COLE Better than Hoff’s! Axel has taken out the returning Gunner Sharps! Gunner rolls out of the ring to Crystal, leaving a fired up Axel in the ring, wanting them to come back inside. COACH Axel has exploded tonight! I don’t think he’ll be holding back at AngleMania anymore! Crystal had better watch out! COLE And what’s the story with Crystal and Gunner Sharps? What’s their relationship? Axel steps up onto the second rope, and BEGS Crystal and Gunner to come back in the ring. “Down With the Sickness” begins again over the speakers, and Crystal and her new friend retreat back up the ramp to safety. AXEL Cut the music! Cut it NOW! The monkeys cut the song, available on the new OAOAST CD. AXEL That’s enough. I have had it. I just CAN’T TAKE THIS ANYMORE. Crystal, you my dear have brought me to boiling point. Now, it’s my turn to be the one that torments you. It’s my turn to be the one that makes you not want to get out of bed in the morning. ITS MY TURN CRYSTAL. It was these fans that helped me stop being such a pussy and get up the courage to lay my hands on you like I promised you two months ago I never would again. You remember that, right? When we got together, I told you it’d be different, that I wouldn’t hurt you; that it wouldn’t be like last year. I guess I walked right into your little trap, didn’t I? You couldn’t wait to screw me like I screwed you, so you did, you cost me my match with Cappa at Zero Hour. “SHE’S A CRACK-WHORE! CLAP! CLAP! CLAPCLAPCLAP!” Crystal, still t the top of the ramp, is seething at the chants, and Axel’s words. AXEL Well, great minds obviously think alike. But I have to give you props girl, you screwed me good. You got me. You played the unplayable. Congratulations. And for a while, it worked. Your plan to make me a blithering idiot who couldn’t lay a hand on you worked. I was chickenshit of breaking my word. I was scared of it. I couldn’t bring myself to hurt you, because I had become what I had promised I would never be – vulnerable. It took some old friends and a locker room of doubters to change my mind. When AJ slapped me tonight, it all came back. The rage I last felt, the anger I last felt back at Bloody, Battered and Beaten, when Ragdoll and I destroyed each other. I think that match took all the anger and hatred out of me. It took all the old Axel out of me and ushered in this happy-go-lucky, smiling, joking, ass. That’s not me. I won the Rumble, sure, but that should have been the start, the start of something big. It wasn’t. I was too focused on you Crystal. Well now I’m still focused on you, but I think it’s a little different. I no longer want to love you. I now want you hurt you. And as for your big mate there, I’m not worried about you Gunner. I’ve beaten your big ass before, and I can damn sure do it again! “YEEEEEEEEEAH!” AXEL And Drek Stone, don’t think I’ve forgotten about you. I’ll address you next week, as well as my friend Hoff. But tonight is all about you Crystal. Girl, you have no idea what you just did. You awoke the old Axel, the one that left you laying on so many occasions… the one that retired Ragdoll… and the one who at AngleMania, is going to be the next OAOAST CHAMPION! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH!” AXEL So Crystal, at Mania, you will feel the pain, taste the pain, and when it’s all said and done, I will make you like the damn. Pain. “Down with the Sickness” begins again as Axel drops the microphone and stares down his former beau, who now has a look of fear in her eyes. COLE Oh my! Axel is back! He’s mad and he’s ready to take on the world! CABOOSE No! What happened to the smiling ass! I liked the smiling ass! COACH I can’t believe what we have just seen! What else could happen tonight? COLE Didn't you already ask that? Anyway, coming up next Johnny Jackson is in action! (GO TO BREAK)

(RETURN FROM BREAK) We come back from break with The Easter Bunny(!) in the ring. Or at least someone in an Easter Bunny costume in the ring. Next to him sits a long metal T-shirt gun and a enormous basket of candy. THE EASTER BUNNY (in comedic country accent) Hey ya’ll, I’m the Easter Bunny! My favorite day is coming up really soon! Easter! And I want all my friends in my favorite city of San Jose, California to help me celebrate it! But I’ll settle for you dorks in Denver! Do ya think you can help me celebrate Easter? Most of the crowd cheers, thinking that their about to get free stuff. EASTER BUNNY Awesome, Denver! You’re dispelling the myth that the only good Denver is the one with the words “the last dinosaur” after its name. COACH He’s my friend and a whole lot more! EASTER BUNNY Oh noes11!1! Easter’s not until this Sunday, and I’m gonna be really busy passing out candy to all the good boys and girls who subscribe to the religion the corrupt leaders of the west are trying to force on the residents on the so called “pagan countries”! But I really want ya’ll to help me kickoff what should be the bestest Easter in the history of the whole wide world. So what do ya say we kick off the celebrating of the resurrecting of Christ...um, Sunday, Saturday, Friday...four days early? The crowd, still waiting on their free stuff, cheers EASTER BUNNY Let’s do it, Denver! How would you like to get your hands on some t-shirts specifically made for the spoiled citizens of the west by the back breaking and sometimes fatal slave labor of five year olds in Indonesian sweat shops? CROWD:“YEAAAAAAAAAAH!” The Easter Bunny picks up his massive t-shirt gun and proceeds to launch merchandise into the stands. As each item drops into a segment of fans, fist fights ensue over who will claim the low quality products. COLE The Easter Bunny is all about having fun! COACH Are you an automaton? COLE Damn that Drek Stone! THE EASTER BUNNY Aw shucks! I just realized I’ve got this basket of delicious candy and sweets that’ll help me do my part to contribute to America’s disturbing obesity problem! But I can’t pass it all out on my own! I need some help! I need some Global help! COLE Come on. Not like this! CABOOSE Jesus, if you don’t like candy, you can always say no thank you. THE EASTER BUNNY I need some Global Party Exchange help! Scotty Static....come on down and gimme a hand! STRANGE OLD GUY In a world full of posers, phonies, and pure wannabees, there finally emerges a group which has come to set the record straight. so, all you suckers better recognize, ya heard can you say uhhh na na na na... COACH That intro is creepy. The fans pop as Big City $cotty $tatic appears on stage! He tosses up a gang sign, then heads to the ring, bobbing his head to his entrance music. COACH Scotty Static, one half of The Global Party Exchange. $COTTY Big City in the city! GPX bout get this shizzle popping! MAKE IT POP! Wassup, Easter Bizzle??! EASTER BUNNY Nothing much, Scotty! I’m a big fan of yours! I love how you’re able to disrespect an entire culture of people for the sake of making yourself wealthy. I can’t imagine looking yourself in the mirror is very easy, but with a face as grotesque as yours that might be a blessing. $COTTY (not undertsanding a word The Easter Bunny said) Awww, yeah, dawg! Easter Bunny, in the hizouse! Let’s move them rocks, playa-playa! Giddy as I was the first time I met my idol Lance Bass, Big City tosses candy to eager crowd members. He makes sure the well endowed females get a bigger share. The Easter Bunny continues spraying t-shirts to the crowd. COLE Damnit! This match is over! Strangely the house lights dim just a tad. The fans eyes are taken from the ring to the Angletron as footage of a match that occurred two weeks ago on HeldDOWN~! plays. $tatic and The Bunny pause their gift giving session and watch the screen. Confused, $cotty stares at the Easter Bunny, shrugging his shoulders. A few of the more intelligent crowd members begin an uncomfortable murmur. EASTER BUNNY (in a very familiar voice) Oh, Scotty, you attacked your tag team partner? You’ve been a naughty boy. Santa Claus puts coals in the stockings of bad boys. Do you know what I do to bad boys? $COTTY What? EASTER BUNNY This. Using his t-shirt gun, The Easter Bunny blasts a t-shirt right at Big City’s testicles! $cotty lets out a bloodcurdling scream as tears form at the corner of his eyes. Eyes that are now rolling to the back of his head. The crowd, which is so god damn stupid, that they still don’t know who the Bunny is, sits stunned. Some of them actually boo the venerated mythical figure. CABOOSE Millions of kids are being disillusioned as we speak! The Bunny begins to slowly pull away his mask. As the disguise is lifted off the owners head, beautiful blond hair falls out, free from its oppressing restraints. With the crowd popping, The “Easter Bunny” drops the mask and throws it next to a whimpering $tatic. The camera pans up to reveal Krista Isadora Duncan, smirking devilishly. The boos turn to cheers as Krista hovers over Big City. KRISTA (Shaking her head) Very naughty, indeed. Scott, we gave the fans their treat, now Krista wants hers. COACH She’s gonna do him! Femdom! On the contrary, Coach, Krista picks $cotty up, and turns his back towards her. The crowd chants her name over Big City’s, adding insult his injury. She wraps her hands around his chest then sits out, giving him The Sweetest Thing onto the T-shirt gun! COLE Oh my! Smirking, Krista gives $cotty a parting Easter Gift of a middle finger. Anything But Me plays over the sound system as Krista Bunny exits the squared circle. CABOOSE Shouldn’t she have done that last week? COACH No. Easter wasn’t coming up. It wasn’t socially relevant to do it last week. Krista’s all about social relevance. CABOOSE Yeah well, I don’t like GPX, but $cotty did not have that coming! That’s a cheap and deplorable act from a cheap and deplorable woman. Here’s hoping the tag team belts go back to GPX. (GO TO BREAK) (RETURN FROM BREAK) Edgar Winter's "Frankenstein" cues up, meaning one thing -- the arrival of the brothers from Oklahoma, in their OU letterman jackets. The fans give the Frankies a nice ovation, as no nonsense Frank walks to the ring with purpose, while younger and hyperactive Frankie runs around the staging arena, barking and slapping hands with many of the fans. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from Oklahoma, weighing 510 pounds, Frank and Frankie, the Frankensteiners! COLE Our next match is a rematch from a few months ago, when the Frankensteiners scored a huge upset win over the New New Midnight Express. Jim Cornette and the Midnights ovbiously haven't forgotten about that loss, and look for payback tonight. As a matter of fact, let's take you back to... HeldDOWN~! January 27, 2005 The crowd goes BONKERS as Frank tags in Frankie! Sarcastic Simon and Narcissistic Ned turn their attention away from The Saints (who were sitting ringside, scouting the NNMX for their Anglepalooza match) and back to the ring... Frankie comes in and cleans house. Frankensteinerlines for all. One for Simon, one for Ned. Two for Simon, and two for Ned. DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER! Narcissistic Ned goes down in the corner, while Sarcastic Simon is Irish whipped to the ropes... Simon makes a quick turn... CRISS-CROSS ... Sarcastic Simon stops to check on Narcissistic Ned, but Frankie CONTINUES RUNNING THE ROPES BY HIMSELF! COLE (shouting) Frankie, he's stopped running. Control yourself, son. Control yourself. CABOOSE Like he heard you. And how is this guy even wrestling? You know they inbred in Oklahoma. He obviously must be related to J.R. The New New Midnight Express see Frankie running the ropes and laugh, making the crazy gesture with their index finger. The former OAOAST tag team champions decide to take a closer look at the sideshow in the ring and... FRANKENSTEINERLINE FOR BOTH! COLE Frankie barks up a storm, the crowd barking along with him. Simon and Ned wobble back to their feet, still stunned from the impact of the Frankensteiner version of the clothesline. Oh, they raked him in the eyes. Frankie whipped into the ropes. He ducks a double-clothesline attempt. Simon and Ned hit the ropes, picking up for momentum. FRANK grabs Narcissistic Ned's legs and PULLS HIM OUT OF THE RING! Whipping him into the security railing, and near THE SAINTS. Sarcastic Simon tries to LEAPFROP over Frankie, but he CATCHES Singleton in MIDAIR and POWERSLAMS him to the canvas. He hooks the leg. The crowd and The Saints rise to their feet. 1... 2... COLE Are we going to witness a huge upset? 3! COLE Yes! * DING DING DING DING * COLE Many believed that win would put them over the hump in the OAOAST but that has yet to happen. While the Frankensteiners have developed quite a name for themselves in the HI-YAH promotion overseas, they have yet to make that sort of impact in the States. CABOOSE Let me give you some insight courtesy of a two-time World Heavyweight Champion. Contrary to popular belief, I happen to quite like the Frankensteiners. Yes, I think they're stupid, but there's no question they have tremendous talent. It's just a matter of turning that talent into results in the ring. A man like James E. Cornette could do wonders for a team like the Frankensteiners. COLE All a man like Jim Cornette can do to a team is suck them dry of all their money, just like he did to Tiffany Ruutu and Logan "Usher" Mann -- the two men James E.'s New New Midnight Express will face at AngleMania IV. COACH If Tiffany and Logan are even healthly enough to make it to AngleMania. I bet they pull a Barry Bonds and blame the media for finally breaking 'em down. The music and wrestling media hate Ruutu and Mann. CABOOSE There's a wrestling media? I thought they were just called "smarks"? What was left of the Frankies cheers has turned to boos as the opening notes of "Chase" blares through the multi-million dollar sound system. Jim Cornette and the New New Midnight Express jog to the ring, ignoring the jeers raining down on them, the former OAOAST World Tag Team Champions. BUFFER And their opponents. Making their way to the ring, to be introduced by their manager. Michael Buffer hands Jim Cornette the microphone. CORNETTE Ladies and gentlemen, here they are. The Sultan of Sarcasm and the Handsome Hustler. Sarcastic Simon and Narcissistic Ned, the New New Midnight Express! Cornette flips the mic back to Buffer, and leaps onto the second turnbuckle as the Midnights drop to one knee and point at their tennis racket swinging manager. BUFFER And their manager, Mr. Jim Cornette. Cornette shoots the jeering crowd an angry look from the turnbuckle before landing back on his feet, where he takes the matching silver vests from Sarcastic Simon and Narcissistic Ned and hands them to a female ring attendent nearby. The Midnights loosen up by pulling back on the top rope. Meanwhile, on the other side of the ring, the Frankensteiners are ready to go. High-five by the New New Midnight Express. Narcissistic Ned and Jim Cornette step onto the ring apron, with Cornette giving Sarcastic Simon a loving hug, followed by high-five from the "Handsome Hustler." COLE Would you look at that? You think George Karl gives Carmelo Anthony a big hug before every game? (pause) Aren't you guys going to say something? CABOOSE & COACH No. CABOOSE I don't have a problem with it. I'm sure Simon and Ned like the fact their manager treats them like a family member. COLE Yeah, a family member he was willing to give away for another. CABOOSE It's a known fact James E. wanted The Saints and New New Midnight Express to be one happen family, but Tiffany and Logan couldn't accept that, and they paid for it at the end. COLE He took all their money! CABOOSE That's what you get for not reading the contract, including the itty-bitty fine print. Sarcastic Simon Singleton and Frank Frankensteiner, the pumped up sane member of the Frankensteiners, start things off with an all-time classic maneuver: the collar-and-elbow tieup. Frank blocks a quick knee strike from Singleton and sends him over and over with an OVERHEAD BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX! Frank rises to one knee and pumps his fist. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Narcissistic Ned charging towards him. He ducks under a clothesline attempt and slams Blanchard back near his corner with a RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX! Frank calls Frankie in. The fans bark as Frankie enters the ring. Sarcastic Simon and Narcissistic Ned use the top rope to pull themselves up in opposite corners of the ring, only to get Steinerlined over the top rope and to the arena floor by the brothers from Oklahoma! COACH The Frankensteiners showing why they are a team to be reckon with, dominating the former Tag Team Champions of the world in the opening minutes of this match. You gotta love the intensity of those two, and you gotta the hard-hitting, smashmouth action that you can only see in the OAOAST. Jim Cornette is on the verge of tears outside the ring, upset at the way this match has started for his team. He gathers the Midnights together and whispers something in their ears. In the ring, Frankie is running around barking while Frank stands in the center poised to strike. Frankie falls near his younger brother's feet and rolls on his back with his tonuge hanging out. Frank drops to his knees and rapidly rubs Frankie's stomach, his leg twitching, before getting back to his feet as Jim Cornette and the New New Midnight Express begin walking backstage. COLE They're retreating. CABOOSE It's smart, if you ask me. The New New Midnight Express have a huge match coming up at AngleMania, and I'm sure Jim Cornette doesn't want to risk injury to his men after seeing what has happened in the early going. The Frankensteiners are reckless in the ring. You saw them throwing Simon and Ned around like ragdolls. And those are 230-240 men being thrown around. COLE I wouldn't want to be thrown around by near 300 pound men, either....don't go there...but we were set for a big tag team match, and the New New Midnight Express have basically said the hell with this. Frank stands mid-ring with his arms out, asking referee Slick Johnson what's going on. The ref orders Frank to back away as he begins counting the NNMX out. The Frankensteiners came here to win and they'll get it, just not the way they wanted. 1... 2.... 3.... 4... 5... 6... The Midnights and Cornette jaw with some fans as they head backstage. One fan reaches over the railing and sticks a poster of Tiffany Ruutu and Logan "Usher" Mann is their faces. Cornette rips the poster out of the teenager's hands and tears it apart. The Midnights give the young man a few choice words, while two fast approaching figures maneuver their way through the crowd. 7... 8... 9... The two men dive over the security railing and connect with a pair of FLYING CLOTHESLINES! * DING DING DING DING * TIFFANY RUUTU & LOGAN MANN! COLE Oh, my... It's them. It's--It's--It's... COACH Tiffany Ruutu and Logan Mann! COLE Yes! The artists formerly known as The Saints get back to their feet and shoot a funny looking pose for the cameras. Both men are sporting leather jackets and pants, with steel chains wrapped around their black steel-toe boots. While he's wearing a leather jacket, we can see some of the brace on Synth's right hand. CABOOSE They oughta be arrested for assault. They aren't part of tonight's active roster, and they must've paid for tickets, thus making them fans. You can't have fans jumping over the railings and attacking wrestlers at random. COLE I'm sure if it were the other way around, you'll be toting it as brillant strategy. CABOOSE You don't know how I think. But I think... I think I would think it was brillant strategy. What can I say? Jim Cornette is a smart chap. The crowd goes crazy as T&L beat the living daylights out of the New New Midnight Express. Jim Cornette looks on with concern from the ring apron, he's making sure to keep his distance from two pissed off rock stars/professional wrestlers. Tiffany and Logan block a pair of right hands and rock The Midnights with a couple of their own. (Synth uses a left forearm instead of a punch.) T&L whip Simon and Ned into the steel security railings and punish them with various kicks to the body. Just as Cornette is about to sneak up behind T&L, HOLLY-WOOD comes out of the crowd and levels Corny with a ROUNDHOUSE KICK! COLE The Women's Champ is here! And she's kicking Cornette's ass! OAOAST officials rush out to restore order. They literally pry Tiffany, Logan and Holly off The Midnights and Jim Cornette respectively. Officials help The Midnights and Cornette back to their feet and they quickly flee backstage. The unit of Tiffany, Logan and Holly enter the ring, where the Frankensteiners still stand. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of the match, as a result of a disqualification...the New New Midnight Express! BOOOOOOOO! COLE The Frankensteiners are upset. They were one count away from winning the match. CABOOSE A win is a win whichever way you cut it -- pin, submission, DQ or countout -- and the Frankensteiners were deprived of that thanks to Tiffany Ruutu and Logan Mann. T&L try to apologize to the Frankensteiners, but in the heat of the moment, the two brothers walk away from the ring. Holly tells T&L to forget about it as she hands Logan a mic, which he gives to Synth. TIFFANY Aww yeah! We's back! We is back! After two long weeks, the two motherf'ers from Sin City return to prime-time, baby. And we's got a lil' IM for the NNMX. Mr. C jacked us of our bling. And everybody here and everybody at their cribs know you don't mess with a black man's bling. Ah know Ah'm white, but Ah'm black at heart. So Mr. C, we's got a lil' somethin'-somethin' for ya. AngleMania IV is goin' be happenin' from Trump Plaza and Casino, and that means high stakes and the shit. So, since ya thinks we's ain't good enough to beat superior taggers like the NNMX; how bout ya puts up the rights to "The Saints" against our wrestling careers. That's right. You beat us, we leave 'tis biz forever. But we pin ya 1-2-3 or make you Q-U-I-T, then we gets our names and bling back. Whaddya say, Mr. C, we dealin'? COLE What a bombshell. The former Saints are willing to put their careers on the line if Jim Cornette agrees to put up the rights to "The Saints" trademarks. Wow! Jim Cornette, minus jacket, appears onstage with a mic and Simon and Ned behind him. CORNETTE You wanna add some stipulations to our match at AngleMania? Well, brother, there isn't anything I'd rather see at this time than The New New Midnight Express riding your sorry carcasses from professional wrestling. So we accept...on one condition. If -- no, WHEN the New New Midnight Express win, then Holly-Wood must become Narcissistic Ned's LOVE SLAVE for 90 days! That's right -- love slave! How 'bout them apples? NED Don't worry, baby, I don't bite, I nibble. (laughs) Logan has to restrain Holly from leaving the ring to attack Cornette. He brings Holly back to the center of the ring, where they meet with Tiffany. Just a bunch of nodding, no words yet. Tiffany hands over the mic to Logan! The crowd POPS. COACH He's gonna talk! LOGAN (raspy voice) You want it, you got it! Because at AngleMania IV... (singing) Her boyfriend's baaaaack and he's gonnaaaa cause some trouble. COLE In the past Mann's bad singing would of gotten him booed out of the arena, but the fans are firmly behind the returning Tiffany Ruutu and Logan "Usher" Mann. CABOOSE He just butchered a classic oldie. But I bet you anything James E. and his boys will be doing more than butchering a classic song at AngleMania IV. TIFFANY Since kickin' it old school is acceptable these days, the greatest rock 'n' wrestling band of all-time is pleased to announce that we shall wrestling under our band's originally name of...THE HEAVENLY ROCKERS! But come AngleMania, we's gonna be sinning like a preacher having sex...with a girl! AngleMania is gonna be bitchin'! "Heart-Shaped Box" plays, and the newly christen Heavenly Rockers play up to the crowd while Cornette and The Midnights leave our view. COLE Tiffany and Logan are back -- the Heavenly Rockers are here. CABOOSE Bah Humbug!

(RETURN FROM BREAK) Backstage Josh Matthews is with The Global Party Exchange! JOSH Josh Matthews here with Big City Scotty Static and Johnny Jam Jackson, known as The Global Party Exchange. Gentlemen as we head into your tag team title match with Chicks Over Dicks at Anglemania, I’m prompted to ask you what you’re opinion is on Alix and Krista. JOHNNY We at war with them hoes! We in the trenches! Saving Private Ryan up in here! God Damn! Chicks Over Dicks is trying to take our territory, J.Math. They disrespecting everything about us, cousin. Every single week, they make us look like clowns! They got jokes! We are who we are, man. We can’t be no other way but they still be putting us down. It’s not right, yo. $COTTY Teams we almost broke and arm and leg to beat, they up there busting on through in minutes. Zack Malibu was running crazy stupid over us, then they go and beat him three times like he’s Glass Joe from Mike Tyson’s Punchout. JOHNNY Worst of all, they stealing our fans. Take a look at them merchandise stands, J.Math. They got plenty of GPX shirts out there but they ain’t got no COD shirts. Why? Cuz the COD shirts is all sold out! Cousin...people be liking them more then they like us. When we in the ring with them, the people chanting “C-O-D, C-O-D C-O-D”. This ain’t happening! Not to Johnny Jam Jackson! Not to The Global Party Exchange! Ain’t no way no how! You can spit about Black T all you want, but it takes two to tango, and we helped built the tag team division just as much as they did! If not more! This is our house! Me and The City ain’t come on all the way up to see no chickenheads send us all the way down. We at war, cousin. War. It gonna get real ugly, real soon. $COTTY Playa, if you ain’t with us, then you against us. JOSH I’m with you. Sure. Yes. $COTTY Word is bond, dawg. (GO TO THE RING) HeldDOWN’s theme song La La kicks up, leading the audience to make a noise that bears some resemblance to a cheer. The entrance doors spread apart, unleashing James Blonde on the unsuspecting spectators. Wearing bright red tights, and lots and lots of tassels, Blonde lowers his head and runs to the ring! BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall..now making his way to the ring...JAMES BLONDE! COLE James Blonde best known for almost upsetting Zack Malibu in a handicap match with his partner Faqu. A week after that he and Faqu teamed with Alix Spezia to defeat The Original Elite in their last match together, after Alix pinned Zack. BUFFER And his opponent...weighing in a one hundred sixty eight pounds, from Edmonton, Alberta, The Marv! The Marv points to the sky as the crowd takes the opportunity to heckle him. He and James exchange nasty glances before the ref calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* The match begins with the traditional lock up. The wrestlers battle over the grapple, neither one willing to give an inch. Terribly sneaky, The Marv starts to step on Blonde’s feet which kind of hurts but doesn’t exactly do much in securing the upper hand for the Edmonton native. In fact, James brushes the discomfort aside, whips behind Marvin and grabs a waistlock. The Marv slides his body forward, leaning into his weight, making it hard for James to lift him up. The Sk8er Boi grabs onto Blonde’s hands and spreads the spikey haired grappler’s arms apart breaking the hold. From there he twists James’ arm into a wrist lock! “Ha-ha!” shouts an easily satisfied Marvin. The ex jobber winces in pain as The Marv tightens the hold, still laughing like a hyena on LSD. Gathering his strength, James powers out of the hold and gets his own wrist lock! Savvy! Not to be confused with “Sassy!” The Marv, looking to return the advantage to his corner, kneels down to the ground, takes hold of Blondie and flips him over with a fireman’s carry! Into the lateral press! 1 KICK OUT! Both wrestlers hop to their feet and do that dumb indy applause stance that I hate and the crowd cheers like the stupid sheep that they are. But The Marv has no use for the adoration of the thousands stupid enough to attend an OAOAST show. Rather, his only desire is to claim his first televised victory. He inches closer to that Holy Grail by hitting Blonde with a dropkick! Strangely the kick does not succeed in knocking James over. Instead it sends him staggering back into the ropes. Wrestling physics cause the ropes to propel him towards The Marv who catches him with a snap power slam! The hungry youngster tries for a pin, but James immediately kicks out! Blonde rolls away from an enraged Marvin, putting needed distance between the two warriors. He stands up, only to find Marv charging at him with the intensity of a wild pitbull! Blonde turns Marv’s momentum against him by hip tossing him over. However, Marvin foils Blondie(no, not the band) by landing solidly on his black wrestling boots! Thinking that he’s got one up on his more experienced foe, Marvin taps his head with his index finger to signify how intelligent he is. Sadly, he meets quick disappointment as James Blonde dropkicks him in the back! Much to crowd’s delight, Marv is humiliated as he tumbles through the middle of the second and third ropes and lands on the ring apron! CABOOSE Jump off! COACH Terrible advice. You’re losing your touch. Blonde seizes Marv with a front face lock! With the Denver crowd still getting on his case, The Marv is brought back into the ring with a vertical suplex! Or is he! The crafty fighter slips out of his fellow cruiserweight’s grasp and lands in a pleasing standing position! Grinning from ear to ear, he takes off to the ropes and comes back with a clothesline! Not wishing to have his head knocked into the third row, Blonde ducks and overtakes his enemy with a back body drop! Screaming through the air, Marvin is able to somehow land with a precarious footing on the third rope. He goes airborne and drives his arm into the well traveled wrestler’s face with a spring board forearm smash. COACH I once saw a kid Rock Bottom another kid off a roof. He tried to put him through a table, put he undershot and they fell into a bed of Daisies. It was funny. The Marv stands up and bows to the fans, who respond with a few jeers. He waves them off, not needing their cheers when he has the sweet taste of victory hanging on the tip of his tongue. He heads over to James and drags him to his feet. But being a feisty go getter, Blonde comes back at him with hard punches to the noggin! The Nerdly twin stumbles backwards dazed out of his mind, clouds of misery rolling onto his horizon. Hyped up and trying to rally the crowd behind him, Blonde jumps up and down like there are ants in his pants! His gold and red tassels flail around wildly, creating neat a imagery of localized chaos. COLE Blonde really getting into it! Wearing a crazed look that’s better suited for a patient of an institute for the criminally insane, Blonde waves his opponent on, daring him to take a swing! The Marv, looking to calm his rival to a state more advantageous to him, backs away from Blonde, calling for a time out. The audience boos this display of cowardice, and it only serves to further incense Marv’s bezerk combatant! James leaps into him for a tornado DDT! BUT gets flung off! Blonde lands on his feet and roars back with a full head of steam! SUPERKICK BY MARVIN! NO! Blonde blocks it! The Marv can’t believe it! Blonde in an awesome display of strength lifts a shrieking Marvin up and gorilla presses him right out of the ring! COLE Marvin taking a nasty fall out of the ring! Radiating unhealthy intensity (read: roid rage), James Blonde throws his arms into the air and erupts with a primal shout of victory! He turns around with a feral look on his face to see Marvin surprisingly charging at him! Although he didn’t expect Marvin to recover so quickly, James is unaffected by his odd reappearance. The Marv gets planted into the ring with a devastating sit-out spine buster! The ref drops down for what should be the match ending pinfall! KICK OUT~! COACH What on earth? How’d he kick out before one! James is at a loss for words, unable to explain Marvin’s sudden escape from certain doom. The fans join him in his surprised state, unsure of how Marvin kicked out. A consummate pro, Blonde tries not to let the quick kick out phase him. He grabs Marvin into a front face lock, hooks his leg, then smokes him with an astonishing fisherman’s brainbuster! Once again he attempts a pin! KICK OUT! COLE How is Marvin doing this? Blonde, exasperated and starting to resign himself to a defeated fate, leads Marvin to his feet. The dejected brawler peppers The Marv with weak jabs that leave no lasting impact. Marvin ends the punch fest by kicking Blonde in the stomach! He grabs him with a 3/4 facelock then nails him with an inverted stunner! He hooks Blonde’s leg for the pin! 1 2 3!! *DING DING DING* BUFFER Your winner....The Marv! Sporting a contemptuous smirk, The Marv leaves the ring and swaggers to the back, thrilled to have acquired what he believes will be the first of many televised victories. COLE Somehow Marvin, after being pressed slam out of the ring, spine bustered, brain bustered, was able to win the match. Not only that but he kicked out of two of those moves before the one count! Wait...you guy’s don’t think? CABOOSE No. COACH Hear the man out COLE I think when Marvin got thrown outside, he rolled underneath the ring and Hell Mel replaced him. Think about it! The Marv doesn’t have the durability to take spine busters and brain busters and still kick out. But a fresh Hell Mel can. Think about it! CABOOSE No where in your job description does it say you need to provide crackpot conspiracy theories. Do shut up. Triple C kills some time by arguing about silly stuff while James Blonde walks to the back. *the camera pans the crowd of the sold-out arena briefly before the catchy U2 song Vertigo hits up causing the fans to get to their feet and cheer. The beautiful general manager of HeldDown makes her way through the curtain with a microphone in hand.* Cole: This isn’t on my line-up so our general manager must have something really important to say. Coach: Who care if its on the line-up Slaw? I mean just look at Josie…she is looking F-I-N-E FINE tonight! *Josie makes her way into the ring and as her music dies down the fans begin to slowly get quiet as well, wondering what she has to say* Josie: Over the past few weeks there’s been a situation in the OAOAST that almost spilled into the crowd and got an innocent man injured last week. I promised that after what happened at Zero Hour I would look out for the fan’s safety first and foremost. So with that I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that Calvin Szechstein is here-by suspended and will not be allowed into or near the arena for the next couple weeks. *The fans get up and boo unmercifully* Cole: Wow! I have never before seen the fans boo Josie Baker Coach: Well they aren’t happy about this decision but it seems like her hand was forced and she’s playing with the hand given. Caboose: You saw Szechstein last week! I applaud the general manager for not only looking out for our welfare but the welfare of the fans in attendance. Josie: The good news however is that Calvin Szechstein’s suspension will be lifted at AngleMania. *The fans turn their jeers into cheers and Josie nods briefly before continuing* Josie: For you see, at AngleMania IV it will be Calvin Szechstein vs. The 70s Dude…IN A TEXAS DEATH MATCH! *The fans get to their feet and explode in excitement* Caboose: What?! You’ve got to be kidding me! Coach: Lord have mercy because my boy Calvin sure won’t! Cole: What an announcement by our general manager! *just as Michael Cole finishes the sounds of “BoogieMan” by KC & The Sunshine Band hit. The 70s Dude comes stomping his way down to ringside with a piece of paper in hand and a look of obvious anger on his face. He enters the ring and grabs the microphone from Josie* The 70s Dude: Cut the music! I said cut the damn music! *The music ceases and as it does the fans chant “You Suck!” in the direction of The Dude* The 70s Dude: You see there isn’t going to be any match between myself and Calvin Szechstein at AngleMania. *Josie cocks an eyebrow while the fans boo The Dude’s announcement* The 70s Dude: You see on this paper is an injunction by a high ranking official of the OAOAST. It says, and I quote “Calvin Szechstein is here by suspended from the OAOAST for 90 days and must seek Anger Management. In addition to that he’s no longer allowed within 500 feet of The 70s Dude and if he does so he will be fired upon the spot.”! So you see Josie there won’t be any Texas Death Match and Calvin…well he just needs to learn how to Be Cool! Cole: Wow! Who in the OAOAST would have the power to do such a thing though? Caboose: Whomever did it I applaud their judgment. The fans may not like it but it’s for their own good. *The fans boo in throw trash towards the ring as Josie reaches back for the mic and the document with it. After perusing it she cracks a smile and does her best to hold back laughter.* Josie: A high-ranking OAOAST official? *The 70s Dude nods and can be seen saying “Ya” in response* Josie: This was signed by Stephen Joseph Popick! You might as well place it next to a stall in a bathroom because that’s about all its worth! *The fans cheer once again, some of them even laughing as The 70s Dude’s smug grin turns into a grimace. Josie crumples the document and tosses it over her shoulder.* Josie: Looks like we’ll be seeing you at AngleMania after all. *Josie drops her mic and leaves the ring acknowledging the cheering fans with waves. The 70s Dude can do nothing but stare at her paralyzed by anger and perhaps even a bit of fear.* COLE Back with more after this break! (GO TO BREAK)

The crowd cheer as we see a shot of AXEL~! entering the arena with his bags, obviously not at all happy with the situation he is in. COLE There’s our number one contender for AngleMania. Axel stops when he sees what awaits him in the halls of the backstage area. Wrestlers, members of the locker room, all staring at him, all with looks of disappointment on their faces. Axel walks past tag teams, singles stars; every OAOAST Superstar is looking at him, he can feel their disappointment, their anger. One of them yells ‘pussy!’ at him, which causes the dark one to turn around and give a few an icy glare. COACH Wow, someone has heat. Axel continues to walk down the corridor, when he stops at the General Manager’s office. He knocks, and then slowly opens the door. Josie is there to greet him. JOSIE Hey. AXEL Hey. JOSIE Look, I know what you’re going to ask me Adam. AXEL I know you do, which is why you are going to change the match at Mania. JOSIE I can’t do that. AXEL Yes you can. You can make me face someone else, ANYONE else. Malibu, Calvin, Rodez, hell, I’ll face Hell’s Hitmen in a handicap match if it means I don’t have to hurt Crystal. Josie’s eyes widen. JOSIE Look Adam, I didn’t make this match for anyone but you. You need this match. You’ve been running around like a headless chicken for the past few weeks, not knowing what the hell you’re doing. You’ve become less than yourself. Do you know how many guys would kill to do what you have the opportunity to do? It’s illegal to kick that bitches ass anywhere else but here! You deserve this match Adam, you NEED to beat her, and otherwise, you won’t be winning the OAOAST Championship. AXEL What the hell does that mean? JOSIE Well if you haven’t got the balls to fight her, then how in the hell do you expect to defeat Hoff, or Drek? The locker room hates you for not stomping a mudhole in her before now Adam; you’ve got major, MAJOR heat. AXEL This has nothing to do with them Josie! It’s none of their business! Crystal is just… just conflicted, that’s all! She’ll wake up! Just don’t make this match! JOSIE My god, would you listen to yourself? You used to be The Dark One, Axel, the guy who always used to talk about how everyone would be feeling the pain, and how you were the most underrated thing on the planet. Well now Adam, everyone thinks that you are OVER-RATED. At the mention of these words, Axel goes face to face with Josie, a woman he regards as family, as if not believing that she’d say such a thing to his face. AXEL You’d better watch what you say girl, just because you’re like family doesn’t mean you can go around saying that shit to me. VOICE Hold it there Aussie Boy. Axel turns around to see Josie’s husband, and his good friend K-MONEY~! Standing behind him. AXEL Oh, so you’re going to rip on me now as well Ken. Well I’ve heard it all. “Axel, you’re a pussy.” “Axel, quit fucking around and hit the bitch.” “Axel, you’re too scared to hit the girl!” Well I’m sick of it. This has nothing to do with anyone else! K MONEY Oh, but I think it does. AXEL Oh really? K MONEY Axel, this has A LOT to do with everyone else. Because by not fighting Crystal, by not standing up for yourself and letting that little brown nosed s**t walk all over you, not only are you disrespecting yourself, and your own family… but you are disrespecting my family as well, you selfish son of a bitch! We took you into our home when you came over here from Australia; we made you an honorary Baker. You’re one of the godfathers to our kids Adam! God man, you just don’t get it, do you? We did everything for you man, we made you feel like you had a family over here, and you still do! But when I sit down and watch HeldDown last week and see that you’d rather WALK AWAY than fight this girl… it makes my blood run cold. You’d rather walk away from this business than fight Crystal? Huh? You’re disrespecting me, you’re disrespecting my family, and most of all, you’re disrespecting my brother. *small pop at the mention of Ragdoll’s name* K MONEY You MADE HIM leave this business three months ago. You beat him fair and square right in the middle of the ring. You two went through HELL to beat each other, and you got the win. You stayed, he went. How do you think he feels man? How do you think Austin feels when he sees you walk out of the ring and leave the business that you both love so much? You think if he had of beat your ass last December that he would do the same? Hell no he wouldn’t! You know as well as I do that if it were Ragdoll in that ring face to face with Crystal, he’d burn her eye out with his f**king cigarette BUTT! Face it Adam, IT IS OVER. She’s moved on, and you can’t. Right now, you’re looking like A Grade PUSSY. COLE My god! The crowd Oooooooohs at that statement, which causes Axel to look at K Money, fire in his eyes. AXEL What did you say… K MONEY You heard me Adam. And I think someone else has something to say to you as well. Axel looks to the right of K Money and sees Josie’s assistand Jasmine wheeling a wheelchair, with a familiar face sitting… AJ Flaire. The crowd pops at the sight of the former X Champion and victim of Drek Stone’s terrible sadistic mind, who slowly stands, obviously nowhere near 100%. AJ, a look of anger in his eyes, walks face to face with his former stablemate and good friend, before uttering a simple statement… AJ You disgust me. SLAP! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!” AJ SLAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPS the taste right out of Axel’s mouth, causing The Dark One to raise a fist! The crowd pops at this, but Axel soon retracts the fist, and yells at all three of his friends. AXEL I’VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS SHIT! I’M GOING TO THE RING! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH!” COACH What the hell is going to happen next! CABOOSE Hopefully, your death? Coach and Caboose engage in a slap fight as we fade in on a close-up of what looks like some sort of legal document. At the top, the Anglemania IV logo and the words “Brock Ausstin vs.” in large, dark black letters are visible, but a large hand covers what is after the “vs.” The camera zooms back to reveal that we are in GM Josie Baker’s office, the camera angle being behind where Brock sits with his manager, Rick Heyross. JOSIE (holding out a pen) Well gentlemen, do we have a deal here? Brock and Rick confer for a moment before looking off to their right, though what (or who) they are looking at is not in the camera shot. RICK Definitely. Brock takes the pen from Josie and scribbles his name in the appropriate area of what can only be a contract, and gives the clipboard it is attached to back to Josie. She nods as she takes it and looks to her left (where Brock and Rick were just looking). JOSIE Now, to make this official. Are you sure you want to go through with this? The camera pans to the right…… And reveals Prince Killings, dressed in a grey suit and his sunglasses, seated next to a middle-aged man with slicked back hair that matches Killings’ suit. They also confer for a second before Josie hands over the contract and pen. While Killings looks it over, the man speaks. MAN As Mr. Killings’ agent, he has instructed me to ask that this proposed match receive top billing for this event, since my sources have told me that the wrestling debut of Prince Killings has created a huge buzz all over the country, and it would be to your company’s benefit that you do so. My marketing people will submit ideas for television, print, radio, and internet promos within 12 hours. JOSIE (trying not to roll her eyes) I’ll see what I can do. So do we have another match for Anglemania, Mr. Killings? Prince flips through the contract once more before slowly removing his sunglasses and looking over to Brock. KILLINGS I’d much rather sue this lunkhead for copyright infringement, much less false advertising. What have you done to call yourself such a thing as “The Current Big Thing”? How many movies have you been in? I’ve been able to line up talent scouts from all the major studios to attend Anglemania, (looks to Josie), and I expect them to be treated like the VIPs they are…no nosebleed seats. (Looks back to Brock) Consider yourself lucky, big boy, because you’re going to make some history a week from Sunday: being the first man that experiences the greatness of Prince Killings first hand. Killings takes the pen and scribbles his name down before giving the contract back. JOSIE Well then, that settles it. (Everyone stands). Good luck to the both of you, and may the best man win. KILLINGS (extending hand) Which is always me. Brock looks down at the extended hand. BROCK We’ll see about that. Brock accept the handshake, and both men stare each other down as we fade out. (GO TO BREAK)

Sorry to hear that! I hope things work out as well as possible for you.

Nah, if you take a look at his member profile you'll see that the majority of his posts were in the WWE folder. But I see your point.

Ah, so was Phenom really Mario Logan or was he another banned poster?

Couldn't they just make him limited to the OAOAST like they did with Mascot?

Out of order feedback: That fireworks pic is fugly, girls! I only used it because I was in a rush and it was the first thing that came up on google. There weren’t enough matches. Had I known we weren’t going to have many matches, I would’ve sent in one I saved for times when we’re short on matches. The show was a lil’ short. But that means next week’s show will be incredibly long! Zack got upset when Black stunnered Candie, but didn’t care when Holly pitched her through the entrance doors a month ago. Some boyfriend! Axel’s all emotional and shit. I bet he listens to Dashboard Confessional. Which is cool. Fun mainevent. I think Hillary Clinton is kinda hot. Drek did a great promo explaining why his competition is inferior to him. Logical reasoning to boot. The guarantee that he’ll leave the OAOAST if he loses adds some welcome intrigue to the contests. Where is that Phenom? He stole our 24/7 title. The AM ad was cute. Although I had no idea it was an ad at first. I thought Leon was really being fired! I wanted my Dude/Rodez match! I guess Dude has another reason to despise Cal. Well written fight, I declare. Unlike the N Yeazzy who thinks he’s hard and shit, I thought there was enough hype for AM. The number one contender run down was cool. Although, I would’ve spaced it out over two weeks. Because I’m lazy and it would’ve given me an excuse to not write anything. Writing is dumb. I just wanna get my roll on. The rage in the cage thingie was kinda neat, as well. Plus, The NNMX promo was well done. Is the Italian championship a legit belt? I thought it was a vanity title. We had a security chief named Charlie Hoss once upon a time. I think he was a face. Maybe? I can write no more.

Hoff's turn!!!

Good luck to you.

There may be a Johnny Jackson Vs Faqu match. Or maybe there won't. Or maybe there will. But probably not.

Even though Mascot's comment about slaps in the face was directed at me I don't think it was directed at me, per se. I'm perceptive like that. I'll leave Hoff some quick feedback seeing that he left some this week and I don't wanna get slapped in the face anymore then I have to: This Cage match was good but a lil short, but Hoff was under the weather, so we're lucky we even got it in. I'm sad (well as sad as you can be over an e-fed) that Chris Stevens jobbed. We're wasting the potential of Stevens! Still the after match beatdown by Hoff was cool and its good to see the world champion looking strong. I also am pleased by Hoff's use of the code function. Keep it up! I do believe so! On the subject of odd feuds and angles, I recently heard that a fed in Japan made a ladder their world champion, and then held a retirement ceremony for said ladder. It reminds me of an idea I had to have Alix job the tag team titles to a can of Sprite and a back issue of Entertainment Weekly to turn heel on Krista.

Because it’s a lot easier, I’ll do Mascot’s technique of feedbacking. It seems like Rodez is hitting on Josie. Is that going to be the storyline for the Joy of X match, K.Money coming in to kick the stuffing out of the dude who keeps trying to get in his girl’s bonezone? I never knew Rando was an X champ, but now there’s documentation to prove it! As an aside, I thought there was a weight limit on the X Title. The Dude’s a fatty but he’s getting a shot. I wouldn’t bother to even bring this up, but I thought the only reason the 24/7 Title existed was because of the weight limit on the X Title. Oh well, don’t bother me none if it means more opponents for the belt. Speaking of the 24/7 title whatever happened to the D.O.C? You can’t create a talking robot then leave us hanging! I thought the Ausstin/Jumbo match would make a nice opener, so I put it there. Ausstin F-5ing a dude that big is a cool visual. Unless you’re brain dead. Then I guess you can’t really visualize anything, can ya. Mean Gene is even creepier then Cole. And he has a foot fetish. Gross! I like the idea of the Doc’s having to work(literally) their way back up. I bet they just say screw it and try to weasel their way onto the AM card. I enjoy Crystal heel’s persona. I repeat my Crystal 4 Champ cries of last week. Because I’ve got insider knowledge that’s off the mu’fuckin chain, I knew CWM was on the way back months ago. The Black T promo was great as was the backstage skit with Zack and the C Note. I hope he doesn’t mind if I call him The C Note. Yeah, the 8 man match was the best HD~! match this year. And I say that only because I wrote half of it. And not the hard half either. Work smart, not hard is a motto that I live by. Tony did a nice job on his piece of the match. The Youth/Cappa segment has been corrected. Apologies for screwing it up.

I agree with what he says. So when is this show anyway?

First person to reply picks the city.

I like Hoff because he understands the code function.