Patty O'Green

(Return from break) With an "Earlier Today" chryon posted at the bottom right of the screen, The Mad Cappa storms into Bill Watts' office. Cappa: "Hey Billy boy! Yea', I'm talkin' to ya'!" Watts: "What in the hell? GET OUT! GET OUT!" Cappa: "Yo yo yo yo yo! What in the deal yo fo' last week, huh?" Watts: "Get out now before I ban you from the arena!" Cappa: "You scaaaaaared? Look you stupid Texan! Why didn't you book me last week? You afraid of havin' me out there? Afraid of actually having a match?" Watts: "That's it! We didn't book you last week because of your actions as of late! We don't need someone like you that is detreminal to our system! However, since you are so determined to be on tonight, you have a match!" Cappa: "Finally..." Watts: "Oh wait! Even though you don't deserve it, you are getting one more shot at the X Division title!" Cappa: "Oooo! Leon is going to get it!" Watts: "Oh, it won't be a normal match, oh no no no no! You see for your actions, I feel that you need to be taught a lesson. So tonight's match between you and Leon Rodez will be...... a STEEL CAGE match!" Cappa: "WHAT?!" Watts: "Now get out of here before I revoke that title shot!" Cappa walks out of there and yells out, "GATAMELA!" (FADE OUT) We cut to a shot of the backstage area, opening on a well-dressed Chris Stevens. Jeers go up in the stands as Stevens converses animately with his "image consultant," Jumbo. STEVENS So, you think the glasses are a bit much, then? Jumbo says nothing, standing still, looking big and mean and generally unfriendly, as Chris whisks the shades off of his face, looking at them and cocking his head to either side. Shrugging, Stevens slips the sunglasses into his inside jacket pocket. STEVENS Well, I suppose you do know best! Stevens chuckles as he pats Jumbo on the chest. The big man remains immoving. Stevens laughs at himself...before being startled by a hand grabbing his shoulder. ??? Hey! Stevens turns around to face...PHOENIX?! COLE Phoenix? I thought he was dead! Stevens is surprised for a brief second, before settling into obvious annoyance. Phoenix looks upset -- as much as one wearing a mask can look so. PHOENIX You know, I'm getting tired of you ripping the fans!! STEVENS Haven't I heard this before? Phoenix steps toward Stevens, closing the gap and raising his head. PHOENIX Well then maybe you need to hear it again! Stevens tenses...then laughs sardonically, patting Phoenix on the shoulder. Stevens is unfazed as Phoenix quickly swats the limb away. STEVENS Listen, small fry. You'd do well to get yourself someone like Mr. Montana here. Someone who can help you make something of yourself. I mean, you're all right in the ring, but, I mean, black spandex and a mask? Who are you, Spider-Man? Get a clue, buddy. Or tape Queer Eye. Stevens laughs at Phoenix's anger. Phoenix takes a deep breath before firing back: PHOENIX Yeah, you'd know all about the queer eye! An "oooooh" comes out of the audience. COACH SNAP~! CABOOSE Aw, it's on now, blokes. Chris bristles, but tries to brush the remark off. STEVENS Real mature, Flagstaff. PHOENIX It's PHOENIX!! STEVENS Good lord, it's a stupid name any way you slice it. How about you get yourself a clue? PHOENIX How about I get a piece of you, tonight!! The fans cheer! STEVENS Hey, buddy, I've been looking for a fight anyway! Me and you, tonight. No problem. I'll see you in the ring. Phoenix stares at a thinly smiling Chris Stevens before turning away. Stevens watches his go, smiling thinly -- until suddenly a lightbulb goes off over his head. STEVENS Whoa, wait a minute!! Phoenix stops in his tracks and turns. STEVENS Now, correct me if I'm wrong here, but aren't you...you know...dead? Phoenix looks taken aback. PHOENIX Dead...what...whatever could you mean...what you talkin' bout, mang? I ain't dead...no...no no. Phoenix smiles at a very puzzled Stevens, who gices the luchadore a long look before turning away. As he does, faintly, very faintly, a white glow surrounds Phoenix, and choral music fills the air. Phoenix takes a step back as the music grows -- then stops on a dime as Stevens whirls around. The music dies, the aura fades, and Stevens is left face to face with plain ol' Phoenix. STEVENS .....did you... PHOIENIX Nah. STEVENS ..... PHOENIX It's better not to think about it. STEVENS But...the continuity... PHOENIX Don't...just don't worry about it. STEVENS ..... PHOENIX ..... Stevens pauses, looking, staring at Phoenix, before slowly turning. As he does, the music starts in again. Stevens snaps his head back, but again the music and the light disappear. STEVENS !!! PHOENIX What? STEVENS Stop doing that!! Stevens, looking a bit shaken, spins on his heels and storms off, Jumbo in tow. The glow and the music return to Phoenix as the HeldDOWN~! theme song plays. COACH Is Phoenix chosen by God? CABOOSE He has risen from the ashes!! COACH But can he beat Chris Stevens? CABOOSE Even with the help of God?!? COLE We'll find out -- TONIGHT!! Stay tuned!! (Go to break)

I have nothing to do next Thursday except get drunk and pout. Plus your new name is fire and we stomped you out. I'll post your little show around 10 EST Thursday night. This show is from Miami

Update. So far I have these segments. A match from Eski A match from Tony Two segments from Hoff. Cage Match Drek Segment So everyone else send your stuff before 9:59!

Somewhere, there is a joke I'm missing.

Yeah he was banned. I don't know what for.

Do not use the banned's name in vain.

Actually, I knew you would.

If someone wants to call the mainevent they can.

You lie. Tony, how could you put that disgraceful skit on there? E-fed death before dishonor. I'll break your face, whore. Just kidding. But that segment read a lot better when I was writing it two months ago at three am in the morning after downing some children's Tylenol. Oh, congragulations on your title win, Drek. I didn't actually read the match (or any other part of the show) but I think my man Tony LaRussa would be proud of your victory.

EVERYONE FALL OUT FROM THE PPV~!~!!!!

Do you do your angles "week to week" and just operate on the short term. Or do you plan out months worth of stuff for an angle and go from there? Why I ask I do not know.

Someone else will have to post the show this week.

Decent show. I'll leave feedback once other people leave feedback.

Adios, cheif! I guess I could update the website from now on. It can't be that hard can it? Can it?!

Holly-Wood Vs Alix in a Trick Or Treat match. Rules: You have to wear a costume. At the five minute mark a gimmick (ie, ladder, etc) is added. At the ten minute mark another gimmick is added. From then on gimmicks are added every ten minutes. You could have an iron man, strap, Judy Bagwell on a pole match! Send everything to Stephen Joseph

But of course, sugar! Did I ever tell you fools that some chick from the Real World was in my freshmen nutrition class?

I suppose it will be posted when all the important matches are in.

How can you say that when we've all been swallowed into some vortex??? I don't have any deatiled feedback. It was nice to the Muses squash GPX. That brought a smile to my handsome face. Indeed the biggest win in Muse/Saints history. It may be the only win in Muse/Saints history now that I think about it.

horse fuckers.

Also Geoff Courtnall spoke to my ninth grade class. He played for the Saint Louis Blues.

OMG! How did you know? Yeah he spoke there. It was so cool. Because he told us about Dennis Eckersley tossing salad and stuff.

1 of u bad boys change my avatar. This one sucks. I only lived in saint louis for a few years. i hate that city and its backwater bumpkins!

(Whatshisface is in the ring.) MICHAEL COLE Ladies and gentlemen earlier tonight you heard from Alix Spezia, now its time to hear from the other participant in this Sunday’s Trick Or Treat match....HOLLY-WOOD! Lil Jon and Tricky throw it up with Let’s Go Holly comes out wearing a bell bottom jeans, a white shirt that says “Trust me I’m a Virgin” and a camouflaged fur coat that cuts out of at the middle of her back and has a collar that looks like it came from Dracula’s cape. In contrast, Michael Cole is dressed like a fucking wrestling nerd. The less said about that cock sucker the better. COACH Hey Mike! Be sure to grab her ass! She’ll love that. Holly enters the ring. She’s brought her own microphone. Cole keeps a safe distance from her, learning from the incident Tiffany had two weeks ago HOLLY Before you start, I want to address a comment someone made to me before I came out. This male chauvinist asshole asked me if he was really going to have to watch women wrestle for twenty minutes. Then he rambled off some garbage about how this is the OAOAST not HI-YAH. Whatever the fuck HI-YAH is. But guess what? You won’t have to watch women wrestle for twenty minutes. You just have to watch one woman annihilate the other and leave her a bloody mess. COLE Holly as you head into what’s only your second pay per view match, the question on every body’s mind is are you nervous? HOLLY No. COLE Um..okay. Care to elaborate? HOLLY Care to die? COLE (flustered) Um...there are a lot of people who.. HOLLY Fuck them. COLE Excuse me? HOLLY Fuck the people you’re talking about. COLE You didn’t even let me finish my sentence! HOLLY When you say something worth listening to I’ll let you finish. Until then you’re better not seen and not heard. COACH I love this woman. COLE Um...I..I...can...tell having to face your former friend must be..um,....grating on you. Correct? HOLLY Alix was never my friend. I pretended to like her for my brother’s benefit. There are laws preventing me from doing the kinds of things I want to do to her. I hate her, almost as much as I hate you. You’re starting to annoy me. COLE I’m sorry..I..I...I’m just doing my job. HOLLY Do it somewhere else. COLE I..I..I was assigned to interview you. (There’s an awkward silence as Cole shifts uncomfortably like he’s dropped a load in his pants. Maybe he has dropped a load in his pants. I know I did.) HOLLY When the count hits one, your ass better run. COLE Count? HOLLY Ten. COLE What are you talking about? HOLLY Nine. (Cole looks in puzzlement, which is not the same thing as doublemint.) HOLLY Eight. COLE I’m afraid I don’t understand. HOLLY One. (Holly goes right across Michael Cole’s bitch ass face with a fucking right cross! The pencil dick announcer UNDERSTANDS that he just got knocked the fuck OUT. His head jerks sideways like it just got blasted by a cannon ball! He hits the ground as if he was an anvil dropped from the sky in a Road Runner cartoon. The crowd pops loudly for the worthless announcer getting his ass beat, because let’s face it, no one likes Michael Cole. Holly leaves the ring, seemingly oblivious to the fact she just rearranged Michael Cole’s jaw structure. Fuck Michael Cole. Pussy.) CABOOSE BWAHAHAHHAAHHAAH! COACH HELL YEAH~! THAT’S WHAT’S UP! CABOOSE It’s like Christmas, Easter, Kwanza, and Chanukah all wrapped into one sweet sweet package of godly goodness! Did you see that? Did you see that? I’ve been waiting three years to do that and she just goes ahead and does it in three minutes! She made him look stupid! If I didn’t have this unexplainable fear of vaginas, I’d marry her! COACH Peeps, that was fantastic. But, we still didn’t get to find out what Holly’s costume will be for the Trick or Treat match this Sunday at World Without End! CABOOSE That will have to be a surprise, Coach. For now we rejoice! Ding dong, the wicked witch is dead! COACH Even Snoopy’s celebrating! Look at him get down! CABOOSE We’ll be back with the main event. Minus one pompous bitch with a fourteen year old’s haircut! THE ENTIRE ARENA IS SWALLOWED INTO A DIMENSIONAL VORTEX!

OAOAST HeldDOWN~! We enjoy the sounds of “I Like” by Katy Rose before being attacked by the logo! NO FIREWORKS! NO NOTHING! NO TRIPLE C! JUST GET TO THE HOT ACTION! COACH WELCO..... "Black" kicks in over the Richmond sound system, and the fans boo as the #1 contender to the OAOAST Title, Hoff, steps onto the stage! CABOOSE There he is. COLE Are you going to do that long introduction again? CABOOSE You bet Coachman's ass I am. Folks, here he is, the next World Heavyweight Champion, the future of our industry, the-- COACH It's Hoff! Caboose stops in mid-sentence. The cameras cut to Sofa Central, where Caboose slowly turns and looks at Coach...and EATS HIM!! Caboose inhales Coach like Kirby! Then he spits him out! CABOOSE S'right, wanker. You didn't know I could do that. Cole looks on, horrified. CABOOSE What? COLE Nothing. Ladies and gentlemen, just in case you've been living under a rock somewhere, this man, Hoff, will challenge Crystal for the OAOAST World Title this Sunday at World Without End. COACH Oh, man, that's gonna be one hell of a match, but I got to go with my girl Crystal to retain! CABOOSE No way, tastycakes. Hoff is unstoppable right now. This is his destiny. Hoff walks down the aisle with a purpose, not stopping to acknowlegde the fans. He rolls into the ring, and he does climb to the second rope, raising an arm and saluting the crowd. Through the boos a few cheers can be heard. COLE Maybe a few Hoff fans here tonight! COACH Well, Hoff has been a very different man since becoming the #1 contender, and some say it's for the better! CABOOSE I don't. What's with all this not hitting Crystal? I don't get it. Hoff asks the timekeeper for a microphone. The crowd quiets down pretty quick. HOFF ..... Hoff holds the microphone to his lips but says nothing. COACH What's he saying? CABOOSE Nothing! Don't make me eat you. COACH Gaywad. CABOOSE !!! Hoff lowers the microphone and actually smiles... COLE That's the first time we've seen him smile in a while. Hoff shakes his head, before picking the mic back up. HOFF You know...for the first time in my life I'm at a loss for words. COACH The moderator? CABOOSE Oh, that guy sucks. COACH You don't know the half. CABOOSE Ba-zing~! Hoff shakes his head. HOFF It's like my old buddy, Chris Stevens, used to say. I'm past the point of talking; I've said all I need to say. This Sunday I'll let my actions do the talking. A few cheers pass through the crowd as Hoff continues. HOFF I just want to make sure Crystal is 100% ready for what's in store. Crystal, for the last three weeks I've watched tape, I've studied you in every possible way...and I've trained myself to become faster, more agile, and smarter. I've learned new moves and new holds. This Sunday, all of you will see a very different Hoff. And if that's a Hoff who's more concerned with competiton than chairshots, well...then that's the way it is. The last remark draws a few more cheers out of the crowd! CABOOSE What is this?! HOFF Because I've realized something lately, and that's that what's really important to me is respect. See, I'm not saying that I want to be Mr. Nice Guy...and I'm certainly not saying that I'm above laying someone out from behind. "BOOOOOOO" HOFF But what really drives me has always been proving that I'm the best at what I do...and there's no better place to do that than (pointing at the mat) right here. So if I'm a "changed man"...then I accept that. But changed or not, come Sunday, you will all be welcomed to the future. The crowd pops in an odd mix of cheers and jeers...then only cheers as "Set It Off" blares through the speakers!! COACH AWWWWW YEEEEAH!! CRYSTAL IN THE HIZZOUSE~!!!~!~! CABOOSE We need to sedate him. COLE Agreed. The Richmond crowd EXPLODES as the OAOAST Champion, CRYSTAL, steps onto the stage, mic in hand! Crystal raises her arms and soaks in the fans' cheers before walking to the ring! CRYSTAL You just had to work the catchphrase in, didn't you? Hoff chuckles, and Crystal flashes a smile. The champ climbs up the ring steps. CRYSTAL Well, Hoff, I've got to tell you something. Crystal steps into the ring, and stands face-to-face with Hoff. CRYSTAL I've seen you, these past few weeks. Hoff nods. CRYSTAL I've seen you watching tape, and I've seen you taking notes. Hell, everyone has. You've been at the arenas all day, just watching film. And, I've seen you working out. I've seen what you're doing in the ring. It's good. You've become better. And I've got to say...you're not the same guy you were a month ago. Crystal takes a step back and begins to pace. CRYSTAL See, a month ago, I thought you were just a guy with an ego problem. One more arrogant tough guy on a list of 'em. I didn't take you seriously as a challenger, because I didn't see you as a threat. Now, I'd be a fool not to see you as both. The fact remains, that Hoff...I don't like you. You've done some awful things here, and I'm not just going to forget that. And I'm gonna fight you like hell on Sunday, and I will beat you, Hoff. You can count on it. "CRYS-TAL!" "CRYS-TAL!" "CRYS-TAL!" CRYSTAL But nobody, nobody, can say you're not ready. And if somehow, you beat me...no one can say you didn't earn it. Crystal nods, and offers Hoff her hand...and he accepts!! CABOOSE WHA~?! NO!! The fans go BANANA as champion and challenger shake hands-- VOICE NOW WAIT JUST A DAMN MINUTE!! COLE What the hell? COACH It's Zack!! "Getting Away With Murder" drowns out anymore mutual respect between the Female Phenom and Hoff, as the former World Champion enters the picture. Even Hoff is surprised to see his stablemate, but Malibu walks to the ring with a purpose, holding a mic in his hand and scowling at the two people in the ring. Malibu enters, and eyes Crystal before turning to Hoff, and extending a hand. Hoff reaches for Malibu's hand to shake, but Zack pulls away! ZACK Uh uh. I didn't put it out for you to shake it. Hoff, perplexed, asks Zack what he's talking about. ZACK I said I don't want you to shake it. What I want you to do is bite it. COLE Uh... CABOOSE Easy killer, I think I know where he's going with this. Keep your fetishes at home. Hoff rolls his eyes and asks again if Zack said what he thinks he just said, as Crystal steps back. ZACK You heard me. Bite it. BITE IT! Zack waves his hand in front of Hoff's face, and the big man steps back, trying to sway Malibu's arm away. Zack stops, and Hoff asks what the hell he's doing...THEN GETS SLAPPED ACROSS THE FACE! COACH YO~! ZACK Oh, NOW you don't want to bite it? All you've been doing is biting the hand that feeds you, you son of a bitch! I bring you in, I give you a home. Protection. Hell, you should feel priveleged to sit in the same room as me and have me talk to you, but NOW...NOW you think you're above it all? You think you're above me...and you go after HER? More importantly, you go after MY BELT? I... CRYSTAL Whoa, Zack, back up. YOUR belt? Sweetie, this belt, if you recall, became mine when I made your metro ass cry for mercy at Angleslam! *Huge crowd pop. Even Hoff snickers.* CRYSTAL The way I see it Zack, is that it's finally getting to you. All the pressure, all the expectations you feel you have to live up to...face it Zack, you can't handle the fact that I'm a bigger star than YOU! *Another huge pop. Malibu is incensed.* ZACK YOU? YOU think you're a bigger star than ME? DO YOU KNOW WHO... CRYSTAL I KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND YOU SUCK, OK! "Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah!" Malibu frowns, putting William Regal's facials to shame. CRYSTAL Zack, you've lost it. You've lost your mind, your grip on reality, your title, and now you're in danger of losing your friends. Everything has to be the way YOU want it? Guess what...things change. You don't have a deathgrip on this promotion anymore. The OAOAST has the Female Phenom to rely on now. As for Hoff, the respect he shows makes him eligible for a shot at this belt. God knows why he's hanging with you when he's twice the man you are! Malibu flips, and confronts Crystal. Hoff tries to ease him back, but Malibu shoves his stablemate away, stunning Hoff! Zack points a finger in Hoff's face, talking down to him, until Crystal gets in the middle of it, and all three are reaching a boiling point! COLE My God, this could ignite at any moment!! CUE: "Down With the Sickness" OOOH-AH-AH-AH-AH!! *BOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOM* The fans pop HUGE as the HI-YAH World Champion, AXEL, makes his way on stage! CABOOSE God, what is this, open mic night? Axel STRIKES DA CRUCIFIX POSE on the stage, then raises a microphone to his lips. CABOOSE God, it IS open mic night. Horrible. AXEL Welcome to my world. And you're all in it now. The crowd pops! CABOOSE What does that EVEN MEAN?!?! COLE Settle down. AXEL Zack, now I know, you want to fight Crystal. And by the look of it, you want a little piece of your buddy boy Hoff there. But you forget...I want a piece of YOU. Axel scowls at the fuming Malibu. AXEL See, Zackary, despite that *BLEEP*sucker Ragdoll's best efforts, I'm still standing, and I'm definitely lookin' for a FIGHT! Russell Crowe's got nothing on this Aussie. So why don't you tear your preppy, yellow ass away from the lovefest there, and you and I'll have us a brawl? "AXEL!" "AXEL!" "AXEL!" "AXEL!" Suddenly, the AngleTron lights up with the smiling visage of Bill Watts!! CABOOSE What the hell does HE want? WATTS Well, first of all, I want YOU to shut up, Caboose! Caboose's eyes go wide. COACH Oh, SERVED~! You got PUNK'D~! CABOOSE Arg. WATTS Now. It seems to me there's a situation here that needs resolving. So tonight, it's gonna be a tag match. We're gonna have Axel and Crystal... The crowd cheers as both Axel and Crystal nod. Axel smiles at the prospect. WATTS Versus Zack Malibu.... Zack rolls his eyes.... WATTS And RAGDOLL!!! COLE WHAT?! The fans pop HUGE as Zack can't believe it! Zack shakes his head and screams "NO!" at the Tron, but Watts nods. WATTS Oh, yeah, Zack, you better believe it. That's how it's gonna be. Now...you kids play nice. The image fades off the AngleTron as Zack grabs his head. COACH WOW! COLE I can't believe it! Axel and Crystal against Zack Malibu and...Ragdoll?! COACH Well it's-- HEY! Suddenly, Ragdoll appears from behind the entranceway and assaults Axel from behind! Ragdoll shoves Axel down and mounts him, throwing furious blows! But suddenly AXEL reverses the situation and pummels Ragdoll! The two brawl, as in the ring, Zack Malibu looks hard at Hoff...then at Crystal...then leaves the ring! Malibu sprints up the aisle, and gets into it with both Axel and Ragdoll! The three men all get to their feet, and brawl all the way to the back!! COLE What an explosive situation! Both Hoff and Crystal look down the ramp...then suddenly back at each other. They lock eyes, their jaws set... COACH Oh man, now THIS could explode!! But Hoff simply walks to the ropes and hops over them, landing smoothly on the outside. Hoff points at Crystal, and holds up three fingers. Crystal holds up her belt as Hoff walks to the back...and "Set It Off" blares again as Crystal makes her exit to a big ovation. COLE What a way to kick off HeldDown! A huge announcement! Crystal and Axel vs. Malibu and Ragdoll?! Unreal!! But we've got even more than that tonight! GPX hooks up with the Muses! I'll interview Holly-Wood and Bill Watts has made a tag team match with Chris Stevens and Drek Stone taking on a team of two other guys who's name I forget! CABOOSE Wasn't the point of getting rid of Northstar and Abe Vigoda to do away with the worn out authority figure character that's bogged down pro wrestling since the year 2001? If we're just to keep the role of a figurehead can't we have someone entertaining do it? COACH Silence! Josh Matthews is doing stuff! I want to see! Backstage, Josh Matthews is poised for another breath-taking, heart-stopping interview, when he hears two voices from down the hallway. “You suck!” ”No! You suck!” “You suck!” “Screw you, fanboy!” Josh and the cameraman take off down the hall, hoping to not miss a minute of the action, only to find two fans face-to-face, screaming at the top of their lungs. “OH YEAH, WELL YOUR MOTHER!” ”YOUR MOTHER!” “What is GOING ON HERE!?” Josh finally interrupts, throwing his tiny frame between their bodies. The two fans are shocked, and rightfully so. “It’s Josh Matthews! WOW!” They both bellow in unison. ”I’m James” says the one on the right. ”And I’m CHRIS!” the second one bellows. “That’s all well and good, but what are you doing back here?” “We’re wrestlers!” They both yell, but Josh sees through the ruse. “I highly doubt you two are professional wrestlers. Hell, even I could beat you.” “Nah not me, but I’m sure you could beat James.” “What! You bastard! He could easily beat you!” “Nuh uh, you are a wimp!” “You are!” “You are!” “You are!” “You are!” The two continue, and Josh can do nothing but spin his head back and forth. “Boys, boys…you don’t belong back here, you are FANS! Not wrestlers! News flash, alright?” Matthews is suddenly jolted by something off screen. “Great! We are going to have security escort you to the parking lot?” “PARKING LOT BRAWL!” The two scream, and James pounces onto Chris, wildly throwing punches. Chris recovers, however, and rolls James onto his back before returning the shots. Security follows as the two roll down the hall toward the exit, leaving a befuddled Josh Matthews in the now empty hallway, the sounds of the two men echoing in the background. “Uhm, back to you in the booth, I guess?” (BACK TO TRIPLE C) COLE Fans, don't forget World Without End is this Sunday -- Halloween night -- on pay-per-view. The event is already sold out, so be sure to call your local cable or satellite provider -- if you haven't already done so -- to order now! Our next match features the men who'll face the Global Party XChange for the the OAOAST World tag team championship at World Without End, the New New Midnight Express, managed by James E. Cornette. The Global Party XChange will also be in action later tonight, facing The Muses. Both teams gearing up for a showdown this Sunday, live and only on pay-per-view. CABOOSE Personally, I can't for World Without End. Not only will the New New Midnight Express defeat those party punks, GPX, but Hoff will beat the ovaries out of Crystal and, in the process, become the new OAOAST Champion. COACH Hoff better be ready to rise to the occasion 'cuz I know my girl is ready to go. The usual: "Chase" hits, fans boo, NNMX strut to the ring. BUFFER The following contest is set for one fall. Introducing first, already in the ring, from Europe, "Scottish" Scott & "Irish" Danny Boy, the E.U. Their opponents, from the Darkside, weighing 465 pounds, Jim Cornette presents "Sarcastic" Simon & "Narcissistic" Ned, the New New Midnight Express! COLE As the #1 contenders to the OAOAST tag team championship head to the ring, let's hear some previously recorded comments from Jim Cornette & the New New Midnight Express. The HeldDOWN~! logo flashes past the screen, settling in the lower left hand corner as the logo morphs into a shot of Jim Cornette & the NNMX standing in front of a OAOAST banner. CORNETTE Last week "Cowboy" Bill Watts threw us a curve ball by booking us in a match against a couple of my old rivals, the Rock 'n' Roll Express! These guys have followed me all over the place: the NWA, WCW, Smoky Mountain Wrestling, the World Wrestling Federation, and then the OAOAST. But like their esstem predecessors, "Sarcastic" Simon & "Narcissistic" sent those two punks home as losers. My next trip ought to be to a retirement home, that way they'd follow me in and get caught trying to following me out, as the orderlies would think two of the senior citizens got too stimulated Sweatin' to the Oldies. If it wasn't for the fact the Rock 'n' Roll Express, particularly Ricky Morton, needed the money to pay off those toothless hogs they call wives and support all those kids they've fathered that would make Shawn Kemp sterile, we would of waltz our way to World Without End. Because on Halloween night, the New New Midnight Express will square off against the most popular tag team in the OAOAST, the World tag team champions, the Global Party XChange. Scotty & Johnny, you two punks better understand being popular doesn't guarantee victory; just ask Al Gore. You see, the last time GPX & the New New Midnight Express wrestled each other one-on-one, the NNMX took their gold. Since GPX knew they couldn't win the belts back one-on-one -- and because Bill Watts has it out for me -- OAOAST promoters signed a 3-Way TLC match at AngleSlam, a match clearly suited to the Global Party XChange's strength, to regain the titles. But what goes around, comes around. Just two weeks ago the New New Midnight Express gave you guys one helluva beating. This isn't summer or ski school, and I'm not Dean Cameron. It's gonna be wrestling school, with your teachers "Sarcastic" Simon & "Narcissistic" Ned, at World Without End. Lightning doesn't strike twice? It will on Halloween. We're walking out with a treat -- the OAOAST World tag team championship. The box fades away, and we're back to a wide shot of the ring, where both teams are stretching before the bell rings. COLE Jim Cornette very confident his team will recapture the tag titles Sunday night on pay-per-view. CABOOSE Why wouldn't he be confident? The NNMX defeated GPX for those very belts two months ago on HeldDown. All the pressure is on the Global Party XChange, who have yet to defeat -- with the exception of their fluke victories over Black T & the 3-Way TLC match at AngleSlam -- the tougher crop of tag teams that have surfaced in the OAOAST in the last 6 months. One-on-one, they're 0-3 against Hell's Hitmen, 1-2 against Black T, and 0-1 against the New New Midnight Express. COLE If it weren't for the brutal beating the NNMX gave Hell's Hitmen, they wouldn't be getting a shot at the tag team titles. COACH Say what you want -- and God knows the Coach does just that -- but you gots to admit James E. is one helluva manager. OAOAST promoters took their sweet booty time giving the NNMX their return match, so they took it. * DING DING DING * Simon & Ned go right after "Scottish" Scott & "Irish" Danny Boy, backing them against the ropes and hammering them with punches, chops and kneelifts. "Sarcastic" Simon clotheslines Danny Boy to the canvas. "Narcissistic" Ned whips "Scottish" Scott to the ropes. DROPTOE HOLD, followed by the ELBOW DROP TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD. Ned rams Danny into the ringpost, then throws him over-the-top rope to the floor. Simon & Ned hit the FLAPJACK on Scott. Simon heads to the top. ROCKET LAUNCHER! 1... 2... 3! BUFFER The winners: the New New Midnight Express! COLE A very impressive win for Jim Cornette's New New Midnight Express, as they head to World Without End. CABOOSE You want to go backstage, or to break? COACH Surprise me. (SURPRISE!)

(Return from break) In a world full of posers, phonies, and pure wannabee's there finally emerges a group which has come to set the record straight. so, all you suckers better recognize, ya heard can you say uhhh na na na na... BUFFER The intense action continues on HeldDown, with a non-title match set for one fall. Currently in the ring, from Sin City, The Muses! Their opponents, from Hotlanta & the 313; they are the OAOAST World tag team champions, Scotty Static, Johnny "Jam" Jackson...THE GLOBAL PARTY XCHANGE! GPX do their thing: rockin' their heads to the beat, high-fiving their peoples, as the lights flicker like a flea. COLE What an ovation for the World tag team champions, who'll face the New New Midnight Express this Sunday, live on pay-per-view at World Without End. COACH Get it! Get it! Get it today! The HeldDOWN~! logo flashes past the screen, settling in the lower left hand corner as the logo morphs into a shot of the Global Party XChange in front of a OAOAST banner. SCOTTY Yo, peoples! In a world full of posers, phonies, and pure wannabee's, finally the Global Party XChange is here to set the record straight. Jimmy Corny, you and your New New Midnight Express have been going around talkin' trash about us, the raddest and coolest dudes in the biz today. So you 3 suckers better recognize the GPX are gonna come rockin' and rollin' at World Without End, and we're gonna retain the OAOAST World tag team titles. JOHNNY Word. GPX over and out. The box fades away, and we're back to a wide shot of the ring. The Muses are trying to exit the ring, but referee Nick Patrick is telling them to wait for GPX. CABOOSE I hope the NNMX do to GPX what they did to Hell's Hitmen -- run them out of the company. Oh what I wouldn't do to see the OAOAST freed of those goofballs. Can you believe these guys said they'd like to see Mischa Barton as President of the United States? What a joke. And what's the deal with The Muses not getting their entrance shown on TV? COACH What's wrong with Mischa as Prez? CABOOSE She's a woman, first of all. COACH Not only is the U.S. the greatest country in the world, but Mischa as our Prez would give us another thing to piss people off about: Our Prez is hotter than yours. HOLLA! COLE You go boy! Referee Nick Patrick has his hands full trying to keep The Muses in the ring. They want to go after in GPX in the aisle. Scotty & Johnny are having an intense staredown with Tiffany & Logan. Who's that? JIM CORNETTE WHACKS JOHNNY'S KNEE WITH THE TENNIS RACKET! Scotty turns around and sees Cornette, whose jaw drops as he begs Scotty not to hurt him, standing over a fallen Johnny "Jam" Jackson. THE NEW NEW MIDNIGHT EXPRESS AMBUSH SCOTTY AT RINGSIDE! The referee is still being kept distracted by The Muses, while "Sarcastic" Simon & "Narcissistic" Ned RAM SCOTTY INTO THE STEEL STEPS, then drop him STOMACHFIRST on the GUARDRAIL. COLE The crowd is absolutely livid, almost as if they're ready to riot. Simon throws Scotty in the ring. Logan clamps on a BEARHUG. Tiffany is on the top rope. CANNONBALL ONTO SCOTTY'S CHEST! Tiffany's BUTT landed right on Scotty's chest. The Muses with a new maneuver, and what a move it is. The cover. Don't let it end like this. No. 1... 2... 3! BUFFER In 47 seconds, the winners of the match, The Muses! The crowd is dead silent. Many of the female fans ringside are crying. Outside, "Narcissistic" Ned removes the tag title around Johnny's waists and begins whipping it across his back. COACH I cannot believe what I've just seen. COLE What the hell just happened?! CABOOSE Yes! Without question the biggest win in The Muses history. These two teams are connected by the hip, Michael Cole. The Saints debuted in the OAOAST by attacking who? You gussed it -- the Global Party XChange. When the two met on pay-per-view, GPX easily defeated The Saints. Months later, revenge is sweet. The Muses have defeated GPX. Too bad the titles weren't on the line. COLE After an in-ring celebration, The Muses toss Johnny "Jam" Jackson in the ring as they head backstage. Cornette's beating the hell out of Scotty with that tennis racket. Ned dropping the elbows on J.J.'s leg, the one which was popped by the racket. "Sarcastic" Simon Singleton with a TOP ROPE KNEEDROP ON THE LEG. Johnny is rolling around the ring in pain. The New New Midnight Express with BACK SUPLEX-CLOTHESLINE double-team maneuver. Simon back suplexed Scotty as Ned hit him (Scotty) with the clothesline. Blanchard -- Ned, not Tully -- with the SLINGSHOT SUPLEX. Scotty is rolled on his back... BIG SPLASH from the top. The high-flier of the NNMX, "Sarcastic" Simon Singleton, came off the top. The NNMX have worked over the ribs Scotty broke months ago. They have since healed, but they must be screaming in pain after taking this kind of abuse. FIGURE-FOUR on Johnny. "Narcissistic" Ned is wrenching J.J.'s leg, while Cornette is driving the handle of the tennis racket on his knee. VEGOMATIC! With the figure-four still applied on Johnny "Jam," Simon came down across the throat/chest area with the Vegomatic (Legdrop off the top). Officials finally take control of the situation, but not before Simon lands a few more kicks on Static's ribcage. The crowd starts throwing debris in the ring. We go to break with a split-screen of Jim Cornette raising the hands of "Sarcastic" Simon & "Narcissistic" Ned, and EMTs placing GPX on stretchers. COLE That was awful! Plain and simple that was awful. That is not the way things should be done around here! I'm sick. I'm sick to my stomach. COACH blah blah blah. When we come back the hot chick with the big tits will be with the Muses. HOLLA~! (Break) (Not any more!) (Backstage, OAOAST’s smoking hot interviewer, Jackie Gayda is with The Muses, Logan Mann and Tiffany Ruutu) JACKIE Congrats on beating my favorite tag team, the champs, Global Party Exchange (Tiffany smiles). I don’t want to let my personal bias get in the way but could you have won without the aid of Jim Cornette’s Midnight Express? TIFFANY Yer lucky yer a bitch. Cause’ if ya were a dude, ah’d use ma foot as a BUTT plug and shove it up yer ass! LOGAN My word! Show some class, Tiffy! TIFFANY Class? Ah ain’t gots no class! LOGAN Could’ve fooled me... TIFFANY All Synth gots is oppression. Oppression from da man and da wo-man, like MLK. LOGAN Please don’t compare yourself to Martin Luther King. TIFFANY Tifftation’s been held down on HeldDOWN. Bitches treatin me like some alter-ego Aretha Franklin and not givin me ma r-e-s-p-e-c-t. Trapin me like a tiger, cagin me like a bunny. But Holly-Wood’s gonna be like da new Moses. Gonna set the Saints freeeeeee! Freedom gonna ring out in every citay in America! AH’M FREE TA DO WHAT AH WANT ANY OL TIME! AH SAID LOVE ME! HOLD ME! Next week, yer goin be addressin us as da Holy Rockers, Synth Esizer, Logan Cowabunga Mann, da Saints! Now deal wit dat, ya’ll mutha’fuckas. JACKIE The Muses, ladies and gentlemen! (Go to break) *Black. The Phenom's face is the only visable thing seen.* PHENOM I see some of you have begun to notice me. You think I'm going to be one of those predictable 'fight first, ask questions later' kind of guy. Well guess what? If you think you know what I'm like, you can take me on. At World Without End, I'm offering an open challenge to anyone who thinks they can defeat me. And you know what? If you seriously think you have a chance... *The Phenom steps out of the shadows to show his real form* PHENOM Then I'll see...you...in...hell! *White Stripes' 'Seven Nation Army' plays* The Phenom is coming. October 31. (Return from break)