Patty O'Green

Josh Matthews stands backstage, only to be knocked out of view by a rushing figure. “OH MAN! I’M SO SORRY!” Matthews is lifted to his feet and finally gets his first good view at his accidental assailant. “You again!” Standing over Matthews is Chris, his eyes wide and a smile is across is face. “What do you want?” ”Don’t you want to interview me, Josh? I WON!” “…won?” “THE PARKING LOT BRAWL!” Matthews is once again stunned. “…oh Christ.” “No, it’s C-H-R-I-S. James put up a good fight, but I took him down with my superior technical prowess and spe-“ ”CHEATER!!!!!!” From off screen the voice of James is heard, rushing for him with security not far behind. James hits Chris and takes his down with a vicous… …slap? SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLLLLLAAAAAAP!! The two slap each other back and forth and Matthews can’t even control himself… “SLAPFIIIIIGHT!” People come running from all directions as the two fans take their open hands to each other. Security grabs the two by the ankles and begins dragging them down, the hall. SLAP! “CHEATER!” SLAP! “I DID NOT CHEAT!” SLAP! “DID TOO!” SLAP! “DID NOT!” SLAP! “DID TOO!” SLAP! “DID NOT!” SLAP DID TOO! OOOMPH “…AND STAY OUT!” The camera follows as security dumps Chris and James out the doors and into the cold night, but the two don’t even seem to notice, as the slaps continue to fly as they roll into the darkness. (We cut to a shot of the inside of Father's mansion. We see Father lying in a bed looking very sick while JAE, Cain, and Justice Inc. stand around him.) J. ARTHUR Are you happy now? You came all this way to see a dying man to rub it in his face? BLURRICANE He chose not to take the serum. All I'm here for is to see if he's really serious. FATHER Oh...*cough cough*...I'm serious alright. Do you think that serum will last forever? Your fate may be a slower one, but you will eventually suffer as I am. BLURRICANE You truly are heartless. Don't you even care that you're dying? FATHER Why should I? I have nothing to worry about. Some say I don't even have a soul. BLURRICANE I wonder sometimes. FATHER Well they have good reason to think that. BLURRICANE What do you mean? FATHER Let's just say I'm not what you think I am. I will take pleasure in the fact that some secrets will die with me and you'll never know the truth. BLURRICANE What the hell are you hiding? FATHER I'm hiding a lot of things, but then again so is everyone. BLURRICANE What does it matter? I'm going to die anyway right? FATHER If I feel like telling you I will do so only when I'm sure you will die. Now leave me where I can sleep. *Everyone leaves the room. Blurricane turns to JAE and says,* BLURRICANE Do you have any idea what he's babbling on about? J. ARTHUR I have no idea. I swear. BLURRICANE Fine, you just bring that serum to the PPV and we'll be there for the match. *Blurricane leaves as JAE looks on* (Fade out) (Go to break)

(Return from break) BUFFER The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall. Woke Up This Morning Got Yourself A Gun Mama Always Said You’d Be The Chosen One The sounds of A3's "Woke Up This Morning" hit the PA system a roar of boos comes up from the crowd as Drek Stone struts out from the locker room. He pauses at the top of the ramp, taking a brief moment to scour the capacity crowd. Then, he flashes a nonchalant smile before continuing his path to ringside. BUFFER Introducing first, hailing from Brooklyn, New York and weighing in tonight at 225 pounds - he is the self-proclaimed “World’s Greatest Athlete!” Folks, please welcome the former OAOAST Italian Champion…….DRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEK STOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNE!!! The crowd voices its disapproval once more as Drek climbs the ring stairs and steps through the ropes and walks out to the center of the ring. After turning to face the main camera, Drek pounds his chest, and an impressive display of fireworks rise up from the ringposts. COLE What a contest we're about to witness here tonight. "Reckless" Drek Stone...a man who, as we found out last week, is headed to World Without End to do battle with Panther in a tiebreaker for the Round Robin tournament. It'll be a ladder match, and quite frankly fans, I can't wait to see it. CABOOSE And I still think that this match is completely unfair to Drek. I mean, Drek worked hard to get that title shot! He entered the Round Robin tournament and all by himself, he went through all the competition, fair and square, only to have this lowly riffraff Panther try and pull a fast one in the end. I mean...to think that Panther would actually stoop to paying the Mad Cappa off... COLE Oh will you stop it? CABOOSE Stop what?! Stop speaking the truth about that no-good Panther? COLE Do you honestly believe that garbage? That Panther paid off Cappa? CABOOSE Why wouldn't I? Drek told me so himself. The guy wouldn't lie to me. COLE I...I...this is ridiculous. Well fans, in just a few moments, you're gonna get a bit of a preview of what you're gonna see Sunday night... Drek's music fades out, and the opening riff of Local H's "Bound to the Floor" kicks in. The arena lights flash blue and white as Chris steps out onto the stage, greeted by the crowd's resounding boos. He too pauses on stage, soaking up the reaction before heading down the ramp to join his partner for the evening. BUFFER His tag team partner, hailing from Rochester, Minnesota and weighing in tonight at 221 pounds...Chris Stevens! More boos from the crowd as Stevens slides into the ring, where Drek Stone approaches him with open arms. Stevens just looks at Drek as he stands before him with a cheesy grin on his face asking him for a hug. Stevens just rolls his eyes and shoves Drek aside before heading over to a far corner. COLE And speaking of Sunday night, World Without End, this man--Chris Stevens...who certainly IS NOT HOFF! CABOOSE Nope. No Hoff here. COLE Right...he'll do battle with Sly Sommers this Sunday. COACH MY BABYGURL!!!!!! Boose and Cole give Coach an odd look. COACH What? Drek approaches Stevens for a quick pre-match strategy session, but again, is shoved away by the determined Stevens. The two men then begin to bicker, to the delight of some of the ringside fans, who hope to see the two men come to blows. However, before their verbal disagreement is able to escalate into physical one... *BOOOOOOOOOOOOOM~!" The arena is rocked by a HUUUUUGE pyro blast. "State Prop (You Know Us)" hits the PA system as flashing red and white spotlights flood the previously darkened arena, roaming the crowd momentarily before converging on the entrance. There, Tina appears through a thick cloud of smoke, closly followed by Panther, who's wearing a black fitted cap, and a white "Panther's Way" t-shirt over his ring gear. In the ring, Drek and Stevens quickly forget about one another and divert their attention to the stage, motioning for Panther to "bring it." Panther, though, ever the showman, chooses rather to wait for the cue in his music, and as the horns begin to blare over the PA system, he slowly raises his arms above his head--holding them high into the air as bright white spotlights illuminate the set behind him--then swifly brings them down by his sides. The spotlights disperse about the arena, and Panther and Tina continue their path to the ring. BUFFER And their opponents: introducing first, being accompanied to the ring by Tina, he hails from Philadelphia, PA and weighs in tonight at 194 pounds, he is the "Champion of Champions"...PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNTHHEEEEEERRRRR!!!!!! The crowd pops big as Panther and Tina near the bottom of the ramp; Stevens and Drek eye them intently from the ring as a pair of lions would eye their prey. Panther's no fool, though. He flashes his trademark smirk at his foes, and instead of heading into the ring, he merely points back toward the locker room, as Lynyrd Skynard's "Give Me Back My Bullets" hits the PA system. The crowd gives an obscenely large pop as Sly Sommers emerges from the locker room. BUFFER And his tag team partner: hailing from Bayside, California and weighing in tonight at 195 pounds, here is SLLLLLYYYYYYYY...SOMMERS!!!!!! Sly continues down the ramp to ringside, tagging the hands of a few fans at ringside before meeting up with Panther at the bottom of the ramp. Panther tosses both his hat and t-shirt into the crowd before looking up at Stevens and Drek in the ring, then turning back to Sly. SLY On three. You ready? Panther nods affirmatively, and they both turn back to the ring, bracing themselves. And they count down... 1... 2... 3... ...and on three, Sly darts into the ring, not realizing that Panther had taken a moment to tie his shoe. *DING DING DING* Drek and Stevens MAUL Sly as soon as he hits the ring, tearing into him with a barrage of kicks and punches as Panther--oblivious to what's happening in the ring--continues to tie his shoe. The crowd boos wildly as the dastardly duo drags Sly into a corner and begin to go to work on him. Meanwhile, on the outside, an excited Tina taps Panther on the shoulder to get his attention. PANTHER What the...(spots Sly getting his ass kicked in the ring)...uh...oops. And with that, Panther slides into the ring and rushes to Sly's aid, rushing Drek Stone from behind and flinging him out to the center of the ring, to a huge pop from the crowd. Drek quickly returns to his feet, where he and Panther begin to trade punches, as in the background, Sly begins to fight his way out of the corner with a series of kicks and forearms delivered to Stevens. The crowd heats up for Sly's attempted flurry, but they quickly deflate as Stevens buries a knee deep into his abdomen. Handful of hair sends Sly to the outside, as in the center of the ring, Drek's beginning to get the better of his exchange with Panther. Hard right hands has Panther staggered...Drek tries to follow up with another, but Panther ducks underneath and applies a full nelson to Drek. He's unable to get his fingers locked, however, and Drek's easily able to escape, go behind and apply his own full nelson... COACH AWW SHUCKY DUCKY! COLE HE'S GOING FOR THE RECKER!!!!!! Indeed, but Panther's trying to fight it, hooking Drek's leg with his own to prevent him from lifting him for the move. With Panther locked in the full nelson, Stevens feels as if now's as good a time as any to get in a free shot on him. With a devilish grin on his face, Stevens charges at Panther with a full head of steam, but alas... *WHAM* COLE OH!!!!! HE GOT DREK!!!!!! ...Panther manages to break free of the full nelson and duck out of the way, leaving Drek to catch the full brunt of a Stevens clothesline. Stevens is unapologetic, though, as he merely looks down at his fallen partner and shrugs his shoulders. He then turns back to Panther, only to catch a superkick for his trouble. The blow sends Stevens staggering back into the ropes, at which point Sly Sommers reenters the ring and sends him sailing over the top rope with a hard clothesline. Then, a wobbly Drek Stone pulls himself back to his feet, at which point, Panther grabs him in a rear waistlock and folds him up with a devastating German Suplex. Sly quickly follows up, lifting Drek back to a standing position, crossing the arm and dumping him right onto the back of his head with the USA High Angle Backdrop 2K4. The crowd cheers are deafening as Drek rolls around on the canvas in pain. COLE Drek Stone is being bounced off the canvas like a Richmond, Virginia...like a Richmond...hey, what kinda sports do they play here in Richmond, anyway? The crowd claps and stomps in unison as a groggy Stone tries to bring himself back to his feet, with Panther and Sly both anxiously awaiting his rise. Slowly but surely, Drek pulls himself onto all fours, then manages to pull himself up to a knee. As soon as Drek reaches a vertical base, Panther and Sly rush right in on him... ...BUT Stevens YANKS STONE OUT TO THE FLOOR before they can get their hands on him. The crowd is none too happy after that. Neither is Drek, apparently. DREK (to Stevens) What the hell are you doing?! I HAD THEM?! COLE Are you kidding me?! Drek can barely stand, but is pissed at Stevens for intervening there. He gives Stevens a weak shove, to which Stevens responds with one of his own. Drek comes right back. Stevens again! Stevens! Drek! Stevens! Drek! COACH It's SHOVE-FEST people! A SHOVE-FEST!!!! COLE This team of Drek and Stevens could combust at any moment here. Before they get the chance, though, both men get floored with a pair of baseball slides from Panther and Sly, much to the crowd's delight. Sly and Panther play to the crowd in the ring as, on the floor, Stevens and Drek try to gather themselves. Then, Sly signals to Panther. COLE What's this gonna be? CABOOSE Something illegal, no doubt. With his back facing the ropes (on the same side Stevens and Drek are on), Sly drops to a knee and locks his hands. Picking up on Sly's signal, Panther places his right foot into Sly's hands, and as their opponents begin to rise on the floor, Sly boosts Panther up and over his head... CROWD OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH! SLY Er...uh...oops. Unfortunately for Panther, Sly's unable to get the kind of leverage he wants, and instead of tossing Panther onto their opponents on the floor, he instead ended up tossing him crotch-first onto the top rope. Slight laughter from the crowd as Panther falls to the mat clutching at his groin. No use crying over spilled milk, though, as Sly decides to switch gears--heading over to the ropes and propelling himself onto the heels with a nicely executed pescado. The crowd pops once more as the three men roll around on the arena floor. COLE Not much cohesion between either of these teams so far. CABOOSE Maybe so, but I still give the teamwork advantage to Drek and Stevens. COLE I dunno about that. Sly grabs Drek by the hair and waistband of his tights and rolls him into the ring. He prepares to follow, but a Stevens double axehandle promptly sends him to his knees. Stevens then lifts Sly up and slams his head into the ring apron before rolling him into the ring, where Drek attempts to gather himself. Both Drek and Sly are slow to get back their feet, but Drek makes it up first, and manages to catch Sly in the head with a hard right hand. Knee lift to the chin sends Sly staggering back into the ropes, at which point, Drek grabs his arm and sends him in for an Irish whip--WAIT! Sly reverses and sends Drek in instead. Sly tries to catch Drek coming off with a clothesline, but Drek manages to roll underneath, and when Sly turns to face him, he gets blasted with a huge dropkick from Stone. The crowd boos wildly as Drek springs back to his feet and raises his arms into the air. He takes a quick moment to fix up his hair, before turning back to Stevens, who--from the apron--is motioning to be tagged in. "I've got him, Chris," yells Drek, choosing not to oblige Stevens' request. Stevens again shrugs his shoulders as Drek reaches down to lift Sly off the canvas. Suddenly, Sly yanks Drek down to the canvas and goes for the Cravateface! The crowd begins to clamor. COLE Sly's got Stone! Sly's trying to get the Cravateface locked in! Can he...YES HE CAN! NO HE CAN'T!!! Drek does a forward roll to escape Sly's grasp, and catches him with an axehandle blow to the head to send him right back down to the mat. Having had enough of Sly, Drek heads over to his corner to tag in Stevens, but Stevens not there; he's standing on the bottom rung of the ring stairs with his back turned to the action, taking the time to jaw jack with some of the ringside. A look of anger appears across Drek's face, but before he even has a chance to react, Sly comes up from behind and catches him with a roll up! Shoulders are down... 1... 2.. Kickout after TWOOOO~! Upon kicking out, Drek heads right back to the corner, and begins to screaming at Stevens, bringing his focus back to the match. Stevens rushes back up to the apron to make the tag, but just as he gets in range, Sly comes from behind once again and drags Drek out to the center of the ring, where he hooks him for a backslide. Drek tries desperately to fight it and remain vertical, but to no avail, as Sly eventually works him over for the count of... 1... 2... NO! Drek kicks out. Sly quickly grabs Stone's right arm and applies a textbook armbar. Stone works his way back to his feet and makes a go for his corner, with his left arm extended as he desperately reaches for the tag, but Sly uses the armbar to drag him right back out to the center of the ring. Sly then winds up on an arm wringer, the pain from which sends Drek down to his knees. With Drek down, Sly steps over his arm and brings him over and into a cross armbreaker. Drek cries out in pain as the referee rushes to his side, checking to see whether or not Drek will submit. However, Drek's close enough to the ropes that he's able to lock his ankles around it, necessitating the break. REF C'mon Sly! Break! 1...2...3... Sly breaks on 3. Once Drek is free from the ropes, Sly brings him back to his feet, at which point, he winds up on his arm with another arm wringer! He winds up again before dragging him back to his corner, where he extends his hand to Panther for the tag. Panther--still wincing after being crotched on the top rope--looks into the crowd for approval, and after getting a favorable response, he reaches in and accepts the tag, much to the crowd's delight. With Sly still holding Drek's arm in place, Panther slings himself to the top rope, and comes off with a flying elbow right to the inner portion of Drek's elbow. Sly steps out to the apron as Panther drives Drek down to his knees with another armbar. COLE And the first display of effective teamwork comes from Panther and Sly, as right now, their focus appears to be that right arm of Drek Stone's. On the outside, Tina rhythmically bangs against the canvas, which draws chants of "PAN-THER, PAN-THER" from the capacity crowd. By now, Drek Stone has worked his way back to his feet, and manages to drive Panther back into his and Stevens' corner. Slight boos from the crowd as the ref forces Panther to break. REF 1...2...3...4... On 4, Panther releases the armbar and holds the palms of his hands into the air, signifying a clean break. Suddenly, Drek nails Panther with a forearm shot to the midsection, doubling him over. He then proceeds to drive him back into the corner and start hammering away with rapid-fire right hands to Panther's forehead. Blatant choke...right in front of the official!!!!! COLE C'mon, ref! Get in there! REF Break the choke, Drek! 1...2...3... Drek breaks on 3, and the ref backs him out to the center of the ring. With the ref's back turned, Stevens takes it upon himself to wrap the tag rope around Panther's throat. COLE HEY REF! TURN AROUND! The crowd boos wildly in the background as Stevens chokes Panther with the tag rope. He releases just as soon as the ref turns around, allowing Drek to go back to work on Panther. Hard stomps to the midsection. More right hands...AND DAMN IT HE'S CHOKING HIM AGAIN! COLE DAMN IT REF!!! CABOOSE Cole, either you're gonna keep it down, or I'm gonna have to ask you to leave. The ref once again calls for the break, and when Drek doesn't respond, he steps in and tries to physically force Drek off of Panther. The ref hooks Drek's right arm and tries to pull him out to the center of the ring-- *THUD* --but Drek shoves him hard to the canvas, earning more jeers from the capacity crowd. He then turns back to Panther with his fist cocked, preparing to strike once more--OH! But Panther beats him to the punch with a hard right hand. Another one sends him staggers Drek, at which point, Panther turns and blasts Stevens on the jaw with a reverse elbow! CABOOSE HEY! COLE Panther trying to fight his way out of that corner! Panther's taking both men on! CABOOSE He cannot put his hands on Chris Stevens like that! The crowd starts to heat up as Panther continues to fight his way out of the buckle. He rocks Drek with another right hand, sending him staggering out to the center of the ring. Angered, Drek charges Panther and tries for another right hand, but Panther counters that with a half nelson, which he uses to drive the back of Drek's neck down across his knee. Drek clutches at the back of his neck as he pulls himself back up to a kneeling position, at which point, Panther hits the ropes opposite him, and comes off... *WHAM* ...nailing Drek square on the jaw with a running front dropkick! Panther quickly goes for the cover... 1... 2... STEVENS breaks up the count after TWOOOO~! CABOOSE There's some teamwork for you! The ref ushers STEVENS back out onto the apron as Panther applies another armbar and uses that to bring Drek back to his feet. *CRACK* CROWD WHOOOOOO~! HARD chop to the chest of Drek by Panther! *CRACK* CROWD WHOOOOOOO~! A second sends him staggering back into the ropes. Irish whip by Panther sends him into the far side. Drek ducks a reverse elbow coming off and continues to the other side. Panther quickly turns around, ready to intercept him as he comes off again, but this time, Drek holds onto the top rope, then scrambles over to his corner and slaps Stevens hard on the shoulder. COLE What the... COACH Was that a tag? Apparently, as Drek hops to the outside and orders Stevens into the ring. Stevens just rolls his eyes as he steps through the ropes and goes face to face with Panther. COLE The tag has been made, and in comes Chris Stevens. COACH Yeah, and ya know, if I'm not mistaken, this is the first time these two have ever squared off. CABOOSE Yeah. Could be the last time too after Stevens gets done with him. The two men stare each other down for a moment before Stevens waves Panther on. Panther obliges, and comes in with a collar-and-elbow tieup. Stevens transitions into a side headlock. Panther shoves Stevens into the ropes, but he comes off with a shoulderblock that sends Panther to the mat. Panther kips right back up, though. He ducks a right hand from Stevens and connects with one of his own. Stevens tries to fire back, but Panther ducks hooks him for a T-Bone Suplex. Stevens manages to elbow out of it, however, and send Panther sailing into a neutral corner with an Irish whip. The impact is enough to send Panther staggering back out of the buckle, allowing Stevens to hook him and take him over with a Northern Lights Suplex. He holds the bridge. 1... 2... Panther gets the shoulder up before the count of three. Both Sly and Tina watch on intently as Stevens lifts Panther off the mat and buries a knee deep into his gut. A second time. He then scoops Panther up and lifts him for a scoop slam, but Panther manages to wiggle his way free land behind him. He drives Stevens forward into the ropes, and tries to pull him back with a roll up, but Stevens hooks the top rope, and Panther's sent rolling back out to the center of the ring. Panther quickly returns to his feet, at which point, Stevens charges at him with a clothesline. Panther manages to duck under, though, and run to the ropes. Stevens tries another clothesline as he comes off, but Panther ducks it again and heads into the ropes again, where he makes a blind tag to Sly. Panther comes off the ropes and slides through Stevens' legs, at which point, Sly propels himself to the top rope, and nails Stevens with a springboard clothesline. Panther slides to the outside as Sly begins tearing into the fallen Stevens with rapid-fire right hands to the head. COLE Sly is tearing into Stevens... CABOOSE ...with illegal fists, Cole! Tell it like it is. Sly returns to his feet, managing to catch a charging Drek Stone coming in with a hip toss. Drek rises quickly, but a dropkick from Sly sends him tumbling through the ropes and to the outside. Sly right back to his feet, where he catches a rising Stevens with a boot to the midsection, doubling him over. He follows that up with an STO, putting Stevens right back onto the canvas. Sly then heads out to the apron and begins to scale the turnbuckles, and with the crowd rooting him on, he stands upright on the top rope and leaps into the air, coming down on Stevens with a flying elbow drop. He goes for the cover... 1... 2... NO! Stevens gets the shoulder off the mat. COACH Sly's on fire! CABOOSE What are you, Dick Vitale? COACH BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA!! CABOOSE Yeah, 1995 called, they want their sportscaster back. Stevens slowly gets up after the elbow, and Sly is waiting. Sly spins Stevens around and hooks him in a reverse facelokc, dropping Stevens back down into a reverse DDT. Sly pulls Stevens back up to a seated position, and locks in a modified rear chinlock, with his knee driving into Stevens' neck... COLE That has to hurt! Stevens flails his limbs, but waves the ref off as the official checks on whether he wants to submit. Stevens turns his body, slipping his head free of the hold. Both men scramble to their feet, but the quicker Sommers is up first and hits Stevens with a forearm to the face. Stevens bounces back, and staggers into his corner -- where Drek Stone makes the tag! Stevens looks at Drek incredulously as the Reckless One steps into the ring! Drek just shrugs, and Stevens gives him a shove! Drek shoves back! COACH I think the marriage may be ending! Stevens steps up to Drek and gets in his grill, jawing at his teammate, and Drek starts mouthing off right back! The two get nose-to-nose...and suddenly eat boot as Sly catches them BOTH with a front dropkick! The fans go wild as Sly spins back to his feet, waiting for his opponents! Stevens wisely rolls out of the ring, but Drek stumbles up, right into Sly's waiting grasp! Sly lifts him up into a fireman's carry, and drops him with a Death Valley Driver! Sly floats into a cover! ONE!! TWO!! THREE!! NO!!!!! COLE Did he get him? COACH I thought so! The referee calls for the break, and signals a two-count. Sommers gets to his feet and asks the official what happened, and the ref points to Drek's foot lying on the bottom rope. Sly looks down...then at Stevens, who's collecting his breath on the outside. COLE Did Stevens put Drek's foot on the rope? CABOOSE WHAT?! Heaven forbid. COLE Oh come on! Sly shouts down at Stevens on the outside, who holds up his hands and maintains innocence. Meanwhile, we go to a split-screen replay, clearly showing Chris Stevens putting Drek Stone's foot on the bottom strand. COLE Now come on, why would he do that? CABOOSE He's SMART! Or that wasn't actually him. I get my heel announcing cliches mixed up at times. COACH Well Chris and Drek may not see eye-to-eye, but that doesn't mean either one wants to lose this matchup! Sly yells down at Stevens, "I'll deal with YOU on Sunday," prompting a big cheer from the Richmond faithful! Stevens just rolls his eyes and climbs back onto the apron as Sly picks Drek up and drags him to the babyface corner, where he smashes his head into the turnbuckle before tagging in Panther. Panther hops over the top rope and grabs Drek by the hair, running him to a neutral corner and SLAMMING his face into the buckle! Stevens cringes as Panther runs with Drek all the way across the ring to the far corner, and AGAIN smashes him into the buckle! The fans get riled up as Panther whips Drek cross-corner into the opposite post, and pumps his fist into the air! Panther charges, and FLOORS Drek with a huge clothesline!! Panther pulls Drek up, and grabs him, and drops him with a T-BONE SUPLEX!! Drek hits hard, and Panther crawls over to make a cover!! ONE!! TWO!! KICKOUT!! COACH Oh, so close! COLE Panther dying to get that title shot on Sunday, and he's like to get the win here today! Panther rolls off of Drek, and gets to hsi feet. Drek uses the ropes to pull himself up. Drek turns around, and Panther throws a right hand, but Drek ducks! Drek uses his momentum to smoersault under Panther's arm and roll to his corner, making the tag to Stevens! The fans boo the incredibly athletic maneuver as Stevens enters the ring...only to cheer as he eats a big right hand from Panther! Panther fires off another, and another, and another, and the fans are loving it as Panther whips Chris off the ropes! Chris hits the strands and comes back, and Panther fires off a superkick -- but Stevens catches the boot! Stevens twirls Panther around and grabs him in a rear waistlock, looking for a German Suplex, but Panther blocks the move with his boot! Panther fires off a back elbow, catching Stevens in the temple, and reverses the waistlock, stepping behind Stevens and hitting a BIG German Suplex! Panther releases and Stevens folds up like an acordion... CABOOSE Yikes. Poor guy. Come on, Chris! Panther gets to his feet and walks over to where Stevens has unceremoniously landed, and pulls him back to his feet. Panther shouts to the hot crowd, before hooking Stevens up from behind again, but this time it's Stevens turn to find a way out, as he throws his own elbow before spinning into a modified drop toe hold. COACH Sweet counter! CABOOSE You know Drek hasn't been in for a good three minutes now. This sucks. Drek is still recuperating on the apron as Stevens gets back to his feet behind Panther, waiting for the Champion of Champions to find his footing. Panther does, and Stevens spins him around, hooking him in a front face lock for a Diamond Cutter! But Panther pushes him off, and Stevens bounces off the ropes, walking right back into a PANTHER CUTTER~! "YEEEEEEAAAHHHH!!!" The fans go CRAZY for the big move!! COACH The genuine article!! COLE This has to be it! Panther makes a cover! ONE!! TWO!! NO!! From out of nowhere, Drek drops a forearm across the back of Panther's head, breaking the pinfall attempt. Stevens rolls away as the crowd pops for Sly! Sommers runs into the ring and pulls Drek up, unloading a STORM of vicious right hands! Sommers sends Drek reeling into the corner, where he STILL beats on Drek! Meanwhile, Panther looks on with a satisfied smirk, then turns his attentions back to Chris Stevens as the ref attempts to separate Sly and Stone. Panther picks Chris up again by the hair...and Chris THUMBS HIM IN THE EYE! CABOOSE DEVASTATING!! Way to go buddy!! Stevens smirks as Panther clutches his face, and Chris, seizing the opportunity, casually tosses Panther over the top rope and to the outside. Stevens rolls his neck out, rubbing a sore spot, as Tina runs to check on her man. Stevens heads to the brawl in the corner, where Drek is doing all he can to cover up. Stevens casually pushes the ref to the side, then grabs Sly, spinning him and rocking him with a European uppercut. Sly reels, and Stevens pulls back and launches a hard right hand that sends Sommers down. Drek, slowly, comes out of the corner, looking at a smiling Chris Stevens who points to the outside. COLE What?! Come on! Panther's hurt, Chris damn near took his eye out! CABOOSE Oh yeah, Mikey, and now's Drek's chance to kick 'em while he's down! I love it! Drek takes a second to survey the scene at ringside, then smiles back at Stevens and nods before heading to the outside. The official tries to stop the Reckless One, but Drek pays no heed as he stalks over to Panther! Tina tries to get in the way, but Drek shoves her HARD, and she stumbles into the ringpost with a sick *CRACK*! Tina holds the back of her head as she goes down!! COACH Tina hit her head pretty hard, guys! COLE Come on, Drek; this is reprehensible! CABOOSE Isn't it though? In the ring, Stevens pulls Sly back up by the hair, taunting the capacity crowd...but Sommers reaches up and grabs Stevens by the neck! Sly brings him down with a modified headlock takedown -- and LOCKS IN THE CRAVATEFACE!!!!!! COLE What?! COACH Out of NOWHERE!! The fans get to their FEET as Sly Sommers has Chris Stevens TRAPPED in the Cravateface!! Stevens' eyes go wide as he looks frantically for a means to escape...looks...looks...and TAPS OUT TO THE HOLD!!!!! BUT THERE'S NO REFEREE!! COLE Dammit all! The ref, meanwhile, is busy on the outside trying to pull Drek Stone off of Panther as Drek is choking Panther with a chair! Drek, mounted on Panther's chest, is driving the top of the chair into Panther's windpipe! Panther tries to get free, but doesn't have the air! Drek pulls the chair off, and SLAPS Panther across the face!! Meanwhile, the ref grabs the chair and tosses it aside! Drek grabs for his chair...but seeing it gone, he simply chokes Panther with his hands!! The ref grabs Drek's arm, but it's to no avail! Finally, Sly, looking on, has had enough, and he heads to the outside! Sly steps toward the referee-- and pauses. COLE What's he doing? Sly appears to mull something over for a split second...then turns around, walks a few steps over...and GRABS THE CHAIR!! The fans pop as Sly hoists the weapon overhead! COACH AWWWW YEAH!! COLE I think Sly Sommers has had it! Had it with Stevens, had it with Drek, had it with this match! And can you blame him? COACH Hellllllllllll NO!! Sly slides into the ring, where Stevens has crawled onto all fours. Sly steps over Stevens, watching him crawl and try to find his feet. Sly stands right above Stevens and raises the chair...and STEVENS HITS A LOW BLOW!! The fans jeer as Sly falls, dropping the chair. Stevens, slowly, gets to his feet, and grabs the steel chair off the mat! Sly gets back to HIS feet, favoring his Skittles, and turns around... *CRACK* Stevens swings the chair and catches Sly HARD in the forehead! Sommers collapses to the mat, and Stevens throws the chair out of the ring!! "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" Stevens heads to the outside and grabs the referee, rolling him back into the ring! Stevens climbs onto the apron, and heads up to the top rope! CABOOSE Stevens looking for it!! Stevens sizes up the distance and leaps...FROGGY SPLASH CONNECTS!! The cover!! ONE!! TWO!! THREE!!! *ding ding ding* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of this contest, "Reckless" Drek Stone and CH-RISSSS STEEEE-VENS!!!!! The fans jeer as Stevens rolls off of Sommers, smiling as the referee raises his hand in victory. The fans hiss and jeer as Chris jaws with them as he hops to the outside, where he's joined by a smirking Drek Stone. The two fiends raise each other's hands as they walk up the ramp. CABOOSE What a sight -- HeldDown's newest main eventer and it's #1 contender!! COLE They're not yet!! CABOOSE They will be! Stevens and Stone point and laugh as Sly gets up, holding his forehead in one hand and his body with the other. Meanwhile, the referee finally gets both Panther and Tina back up, and they too roll into the ring, staring daggers at the bad guys. COACH Well Chris Stevens and Drek Stone didn't use a lot of teamwork, but they got the job done! It's like they say, "cheat to win!" COLE Who's "they?" COACH The WW-- CABOOSE Don't even think about it. COLE In any event, Chris Stevens and Drek Stone victorious going into Sunday, but I have a feeling that things will be a little different at World Without End! Folks, we've got a lot more show tonight, so stay with us! COACH Or find something better to do with your Thursday night! (Go to break) (Return from break) COLE Right now, let's go to the ring, as I've been told that Alex Bryant has requested some time. ("Six Barrel Shotgun" starts up, and Alex Bryant comes out of the entrance, wearing a black Pixies shirt along with his usual ring gear. He walks to the ring, largely ignoring the fans. When he enters the ring, he pulls a microphone out of the back of his tights.) ALEX So, this Sunday night, I have a title shot at the most prestigious lightweight championship in the professional wrestling world, as I fight Yuji Chusaki, the most beloved junior heavyweight in all of Asia, for his HI-YAH Junior Heavyweight Championship, at World Without End, coincidentally my Pay-Per-View singles debut. So, to prepare for it, I think I'm going to have a public workout right here tonight! COACH Didn't that other company in Connecticut propose doing something like this with a couple of models at some Pay-Per-View a couple of weeks ago? COLE I doubt he's doing any aerobics, Coachman. ALEX So, at this time...(turns to a clean-cut, young-looking referee who's kneeling at ringside, waiting for the next match)...excuse me, come into the ring, please. The referee looks around for a second before cautiously walking into the ring. ALEX Hey, don't I recognize you? What's your name? REF Um...Jonas Smith. ALEX Jonas, Jonas...aren't you doing this ref gig part-time? JONAS Kinda... ALEX Yeah, you're doing this as an internship because you're training to be a wrestler, correct? JONAS Yeah, I'm training at the Zack Malibu School. ALEX Yes, you're one of Zack's students. So, you don't mind if we have a little exhibition here, do you? You know, a learning experience for you; might even help you become a competent wrestler. JONAS Well...Mr. Malibu said... ALEX Zack says a lot of things; most of them are malarkey. Just follow my word, and this should be pleasant for both of us. Now, take off the referee shirt and go to that corner over there. (Jonas follows those orders begrudingly.) ALEX Now... ...Alex jumps Smith in the corner with a charging forearm! COLE Come on now, he's not even fully trained! COACH Didn't you win a match on this show a couple of months ago, and you weren't trained whatsoever? COLE That was different; I had an excellent partner. This kid's being hung out to dry! Alex pulls Jonas out of the corner, and starts lighting him up with repeated chops to the chest. Bryant then puts his legs between Smith's legs and lifts him up to immediately slam him down hard with a waterwheel slam (Bob Holly's Alabamaslam) before keeping the legs grabbed and applying an Alligator Clutch (you have the opponent on their back, grab their legs, and fall forward to fold the opponent in half while just laying on their legs). Alex counts his own fall... 1... 2... 3! COLE You've proven your point; just get out of the ring. Alex gets off of him, but waves his finger in the air to signify that he's not done with him yet. Smith crawls around the mat on all fours, dazed and confused, before Alex pulls him up. Alex puts him in a wristlock before forcing him down to the mat and locking in the Border City Stretch! COACH Don'cha think this is a little much? Alex cranks back as far as he can on the hold, and Jonas immediately taps out! COLE Okay, the point's been proven, give it up. Bryant lets go of the hold with a smirk on his face...but then starts slapping Jonas in the back of the head, mockingly yelling at him to get up. He then pulls Jonas up by the hair to a bent position, and starts to repeatedly kick him in the face while holding his hair from the side. After six toe kicks to the jaw and face, he pulls Jonas into a front facelock before lifting him up for a suplex, crossing the kid's legs, and dropping him head-first with the Border City Driver (cross-legged Ki Krusher)! Alex then goes to a kneeling position and starts to act as the unofficial referee, lifting and dropping Jonas's arm to check if he's still concious... 1... 2... 3. COLE You've pretzeled the kid up, you've made him submit, and you knocked him out by dropping him on his noggin; what the hell else? Alex starts giggling to himself before picking up the microphone that he dropped... ALEX Yuji, I want you to replay all three of those outcomes in your head. I can pin you out of nowhere in any way I know how...I can make you cry and scream like a girl before making you tap out, and I can give you the most devastating head-drop move on the face of the damn planet! On All Hallow's Eve, I'll be walking in this very ring as just a boy...but I'll be leaving as a man, a myth, and by God, a legend too. See you Sunday. ("Six Barrel Shotgun" plays again in the background, as referees run past Alex while he walks to the locker room to help Jonas Smith out of the ring.) COLE This is, by far, the most personality we've EVER seen out of the usually silent, but violent Alex Bryant. Can he achieve what many, many lightweight wrestlers across the world have been aiming for since their careers' inceptions and grab the HI-YAH Jr. Heavyweight Championship? COACH I know one thing: we've gotta go backstage, because this is the OAOAST: SOMETHING has to be a-brewin'! (Go backstage)

(UNSURPISE) (We’re taken to Penny Lane’s Arcade and Fun emporium somewhere in downtown Richmond. Terry Taylor is there and so is Alix Spezia. Alix is engaged in a bitter war with the AI of the original Mortal Kombat as her Johnny Cage is trying to take down the AI’s Kano. Sitting on the cabinet are FOURTEEN bottles of Mountain Dew Code Red that Alix has torn through since she’s been in the arcade. She’s wearing a pink ruffled skirt and a Paul Frank, “Wreck em all” t-shirt.) TERY TAYLOR Ladies and gentlemen this Sunday Night at World Without End we will be featuring our first ever Trick Or Treat match, when Holly-Wood steps in the ring with Alix Spezia. I, Terry Taylor, official OAOAST tag team correspondent, have been sent to Penny Lane’s Arcade and Fun emporium to interview Alix Spezia, one half of the tag team with the best record in the OAOAST, Chicks Over Dicks. Alix, I’ve got lots of questions. ALIX (Back to the camera) Ya got a lot of quarters? TAYLOR Yep. ALIX Then I got a lot of answers. Enquire away, Barbra Walters! Enquire! TAYLOR First, there are those who claim that you lack a Killer Instinct. ALIX I know I do! I sold my N64 and all the games I had a couple of months ago. Now, I’m really mad because I just found my copy of Wrestlemania 2000 and I can’t even play it! TAYLOR No. Not the game, an actual Killer Instinct. ALIX Wha? Did you not see me just rip Sub Zero’s heart out of his chest? How much more of a Killer Instinct do you want! Any more killer and they’d have to declare me public enemy numero uno and strap me to an electric chair! TAYLOR Very well, but what about claims that your excellent tag team record is due in large part to the quality of competition that you face. Caboose said that you feast on weaker teams. ALIX In that case, I challenge Caboose to a fight next week. More then likely, I’ll crack his skull open and feast on his juicy brain meat and wash it down with a glass of his self respect. Then Coach will say we have to go to break, but the only break that’s going on is the breaking of Caboose’s neck courtesy of me. I’ll give Caboose the kind of beat down that’s liable to get 20/20 to do an expose on graphic and gory wrestling violence and parents groups to call for a curtailing on TV violence. The kind of beat down that gets the cops on you, that’s a figurative you, not relating to me, because the cops know I’m not to be messed with. I need fifty cents. (Terry inserts some cash into the slot. Alix finishes off her fifteenth bottle of Code Red.) ALIX Terry Taylor, I could be dead for eighty trillion years, frozen in a block of ice and I’d still find a way to kick Holly ass. Because I’m similar to the Dove, in a way, I’m the symbol for war. (Alix starts on her sixteenth bottle of Code Red) TAYLOR The dove is the symbol for peace. I think the Lion is more a symbol for war and strength. ALIX A lion? Are you crazy? Have you even seen a lion? Its all hairy and such. And all the hairy guys I know spend all their time at Starbucks or on the streets protesting wars in Iraq and selling hemp jewelry and listening to the Grateful Dead and what not. But a dove? A dove isn’t with that. The only jewelry a dove wears is the necklace containing teeth of the Mexican drug lord he assassinated last week. A gang of pitbulls roll up on a dove and start talking trash. A dove is all like “screw that noise” and is liable to start shooting. I kid you not. Then the pitbulls start running, because the dove is all like kryptonite based and they’re the one guy in the ugly tights who’s allergic to kryptonite. But then the dove hops on his Harely and he chases them down kinda like Blade did to those Vampires in the beginning of Blade 2 and the dove starts spraying bullets like windex. Then he like flips off his Harley and kicks at one pitbull. Then he pulls out an AK and is just like BAM BAM BAM! Then he just takes flight before the pigs get on the scene. Its crazy. Next time you see a dove, I suggest you stop what you’re doing and run for your life. Anyway, I’m a dove and Holly is a pitbull. TERRY TAYLOR There you have it folks, “if you see a dove, stop what you’re doing and run for your life.” Prophetic words? Perhaps. Inane ramblings of a girl who’s had to much caffeine? More then likely. For the OAOAST, I’m Terry Taylor, reminding you to have a safe and happy Halloween. (To the arena!) Cue: ‘Debonaire’ by Dope Gunner walks out to ringside in sweats and a T-Shirt, with his 24/7 title belt over his shoulder, but no smile on his face. He nods to the crowd and begins to walk purposefully down the ramp. COLE Wow, an unscheduled appearance by the 24/7 Champion, and I’m thinking he would be a very, very angry man right about now! CABOOSE Very true Michael, that damn referee cost him a match again, and I’m wondering what is going through his mind right now. BUFFER Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome the OAOAST Twenty-Four Seven Champion, GUNNNEEEEEEEERRRRRRRR SHAAAAAAAAAAARPS!!! The seven foot monster walks up the steps and into the ring, grabbing Michael Buffer’s microphone and making a cutthroat motion, asking for his music to be cut. He begins talking straight away, obviously still pissed off. GUNNER I have been resting last week due to orders from the Board of Directors, because they know how angry I was when I lost that match to Leon Rodez. There is one little man that has been causing me to become angry over the last few weeks, and that is referee Christopher Canberra. The crowd boos at the mention of the referee that has cost Gunner the last two matches in the Round Robin tournament. GUNNER Now Chris, you are the reason that I am not in the Elimination Chamber next month. I had the match against Panther won, and you disqualified me. I had the match against Leon won, and you screwed me over again. I can understand how you would feel a little angry after I beat you to within an inch of your life, but it shouldn’t compromise your job. Which is why, after meeting with the board earlier this week, they have sanctioned a one on one match for World Without End. The Twenty-Four Seven Champion Gunner Sharps, defending his title against Referee Christopher Canberra! COLE Wow… he’d better start running now. CABOOSE Oh I’m looking forward to this now. COACH Am I the only one that doesn’t want to see this referee get killed again? COLE Yes. CABOOSE What’s this? We agree on something Michael? COLE I know; the end of the world. Gunner paces around the ring, belt over his shoulder, as the fans start to chant ‘GUN-NER! GUN-NER!’ GUNNER So Canberra, you’d better hope that I’m not in a bad mood at World Without End, because nothing will stop me from showing you why it’s NOT sensible to mess with a giant! Cue: ‘Debonaire’ by Dope Gunner drops the mic and rolls out of the ring, storming up the ring and out of the arena, slapping a couple of fans hands on the way up the ramp. COLE Well, there you have it! Gunner Sharps goes one on one with Referee Christopher Canberra at World Without End for the Twenty-Four Seven title! CABOOSE Oh… My… God. COACH OK, we’re over that now. CABOOSE Man, Gunner is one angry man right now, should make for a great massacre on Sunday, awesome stuff. COLE What could happen next on HeldDown?? COACH Who gives a shit? COLE I guess not you, Pollyanna. We'll be back! (Go to break)

Hey whoever was writing the main event, it would be nice if you could send it to me! Thanks!

Someone who is not I, write a pay per view preview! Oh, yeah if someone wants to call the mainevent of the show they can, but there's a catch

Uh-uh. Ur steppin wrong, candy cane. Laguna Beach is hella tight. Did you see the last ep? Where Stephen went nuts on Kristen? What a dick! He's cute but he's not that cute. I would've made like Snoop and gone upside his head!

If you want anything on the show, then, like today might be a good day to send it in! You crazy horse fucking mother fuckers.

The OAOAST brought its brand of hard hitting, take no prisoners action to the nation’s capital of Washington DC! While presidential candidates, John Kerry and Geroge Bush were arguing like bitches, the OAOAST superstars were settling their differences like men, in the battle field! In the opening contest, Gunner Sharps bested Christopher Cain to retain his 24/7 belt. The finish came when he top rope splashed Cain right through a table that was covered with thumbtacks. On site authority figure, Rick Martel (unless he’s dead, then the authority figure was Headbanger Thrasher) came out to introduce the participants of the triple threat match that will determine who gets a world title shot at the end of the night. First came Calvin, then Zack Malibu was brought out. The fans didn’t get the hint and were actually shocked to see Hoff introduced as the third competitor. Calvin and Zack seemed to work out a deal where Zack would pin Calvin. But Hoff broke up the pin. From there it was your usual triple threat match, with Hoff pinning Calvin. Afterwards, it looked like Zack and Hoff were going to come to blows but Calvin held them apart. Black T and Jivin Jr took on The Love Doctors and Nurse Mikey (Michael Cole in a skimpy female nurse uniform). Black T won when Jivin Jr made Nurse Mikey tap out to a bare ass stinkface. The Global Party Exchange beat The Muses to retain the tag team titles. Fatal Four way match for the X title. Blurricane Vs Chris Stevens Vs Leon Rodez Vs Sly Sommers. Sly was the first to exit stage left after getting pinned by Chris Stevens. Revenge would come quick as several minutes later Sly returned to KO Stevens with a steel chain. Rodez pinned him with ease. Unfortunately there would be no winner as Rodez and the wacky superhero fought to a time limit draw. The crowd responded by chanting “Bullshit.” Alix beat Candie in a bikini contest by default when Candie refused to come out due to "skin issues". Alix admitted to replacing Candie’s body oil with something called “purple rain” that turned Candie’s skin purple. Drek Stone came out for a promo. He belittled the Washington crowd, informing them that they were nothing but “a suburb of Baltimore ” and that the reason they were “stateless” was because no one wants the “murder capital of the world in their state.” Drek was kind enough to state that he felt sorry for whoever won the Presidential election because then they’d have to live in Washington DC for four years. He then went on to say that he had footage of Panther paying Mad Cappa to tap out...BUT, his VCR ate the tape. Panther came out to a huge pop, to defend DC’s honor and his integrity. He challenged Drek to match. Drek agreed but said because he was wearing street clothes it had to be a street fight match. Even though Drek got the match he wanted, he still lost! Sorry! The NNMX beat The Parka and Jude. Main event time! Crystal beat Hoff. Or did she? Just as it looked she was going to score the winning pinfall, The Franchise, Zack Malibu ran down and broke it up! The ref immediately called for the bell. With the match officially over, Zack and Hoff went to town on Crystal. But who should make the save but Axel! Axel clears the ring of the two goons! The world title match was turned into a tag team match which Crystal and Axel won! Biggest pops 1.GPX 2.Crystal 3.Panther 4.Axel 5(tie). Nurse Mikey and Alix’s Wonder Woman bikini (people in DC have odd fetishes. Trust me.) Biggest Heat 1.Black T 2.Hoff 3.X title match getting a time limit draw 4.Drek Stone 5.Chris Stevens

All the guys on that show dress like me. Quit steppin on my sexy stylez, fuckers!

Say what?!

And I knew you'd say that, candy cane. Ya'll are easy.

I knew you were going to say that! On the bright side, you did get the fourth most heel heat of anyone on the show.

That's the show! It's better then "The OC"! Patty Promise!

Hey Malibizzle, you ever watch Laguna Beach on MTV? Shit's hot.

Boo! The Lindsay Lohan song makes all those others look stupid! And I ain't talkin mad stupid neither.....

Aww yeah, Hoff's down!!! I thought I'd have to wait for Zack to come into the thread for someone to pick up on it. When I hear that song I ain't changing the dizzle. Yeah she's an actress.

What the hell did I post up above? The image isn't showing up. Why can't they back up off me? Why can't they let me live?

Tony La Russa. He spoke at my high school graduation. He did. Think about that. He told a story about tossing salad. It was very strange. More later. Feedback that is. Not La Russa.

I do tape them. HEY! I'll pay you money to send me a tape of Hang Time! Do you have any USA High?

It is? How is "heroic, preppy babyface" the same as "paranoid, psychotic, egomanical heel"? Writing the matches is the same. Just with random tirades. No its not on DVD.

I’m missing Dharma and Greg to write you clowns feedback. NEVER! From Saint Louis city to Saint Charles county, we puttin it down for the 314 and the 636. Anywho, you should totally return! Actually the show was better then okay. It just wasn’t as good as last week, which is why we have less feedback. When we have one amazing show, the follow up show is a bit of a let down and feedback is poor. The Funeral segment from Tony was excellent. He’s put a lot of work into NNMX and its paid off! They went from getting only one vote in the OAOAST interactive poll to being one of the more entertaining teams in the tag division. I’m not terribly familiar with the Rock N Roll Express, but I’m guessing they were an okay team back in the day. Probably just okay. Nothing special. Good Bryants/Tethers match. It’s a good thing PFL doesn’t believe in having a gazillion and fifty spaces between pinfalls or that match would’ve stretched like a million posts! Is Sean Bryant injured permanently? Will we not see that character any time soon? Drek insinuating that Panther paid Cappa money to submit was pretty cute. But then that pussy Bill Watts had to cock block the accusation. Fuck him. At least he made a ladder match. Those are always fun. Well not always. But most of the time. I guess a ladder match between a blind bunny and a dead shark wouldn’t be very fun. Unless the blind bunny was Daredevil and the dead shark was Ghost Rider. Everyone likes a Hoff promo! Even former Los Angeles Kings coach and current ESPN analyst, Barry Melrose likes a Hoff promo! Hoff again told Crystal what it is, what it will be and what it ain’t. Crystal smells like my socks. Chris Stevens Vs Phoenix. I WAS PHOENIX! For one day. Still a good match up. I don’t know how my masquerading as the masked jobber would have an impact on the quality of the match. I don’t get why Parka (the character) was all pissed. Like isn’t JAE saving Blurricane’s life? But mister tough guy has to cop a fucking attitude about it like Cain and JAE shot his dog and pissed in his flower bed! Excuse me? Patty wouldn’t play that shit 4 nothing. You can get your own life saving serum and keep walking. Ya’ll don’t roll up on Patty like that. Patty rolls up on you with the glock on patrol. Get shot if ya don’t slow your role. The mainevent. I wrote it (Zack wrote his promo). It turned out much better then I thought. When I first created Holly many many moons ago, she was just supposed to be a henchwoman to Northstar and never ever talk. At first she wasn’t even his step sister, and I think I had them kiss on “camera”. We’ll just pretend that never happened. Once Northstar became GM, I was forced to give some kind of personality so I stuck her with the step sister role. She was still pretty boring. I’m not sure how she got to this current point. Its probably because I always wanted a sociopathic step sister who hated when people touched her. I was very lonely as a boy. Chicks Over Dicks has the best record in the tag division. They do because they really only fight the lower card teams and stay away from the teams that I’d actually have to job them to. Zack’s heel character is easy to write. It’s the same as his face character only with tirades and negative adjectives thrown in.

Although he probably won't read this I should wish a happy belated b-day to my former stable mate KingPK! Is that Phoenix guy or whatever no longer a normal jobber?

This show was okay. Tony's segment stood out for me.

The sorrowful twang of Avril Lavigne’s “Nobody’s home” slips out of the arena sound system. When the intensity of the song picks up, the entrance doors part and Chicks Over Dicks make their way out from the back! The two women are met with a huge pop! BUFFER The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall..now making their way to the ring from Beverly Hills and West Hollywood respectively, KRISTA ISARODA DUNCAN, ALIX SPEZIA....CHIIIIICKS OVER DIIIICKSS! COLE THICK AZZ ALIX SPEZIA IS A BAD MUTHA’FUCKA~! PERFECT AZZ FOR SHORT SHORTS! COACH Damn it, Mikey. Just because you don’t have a personality to speak of doesn’t mean you can bite mine! Step off! Alix and Krista walk towards the ring. Ever the attention whore, Alix starts to pose for a few pictures but Krista barks at her to hurry up. CABOOSE Chicks Over Dicks, has the best record of any tag team. But that’s only because they’ve never faced the likes of Black T or Black T or Black T. They also haven’t faced Black T before. They feast on weaker groups like the Frankenstieners, the Skulls, the Muses and pad their record that way. COLE Tonight they aren’t even fighting a real team. Alix and Krista have to take on Holly-Wood and a partner of her choice. Next Sunday, Alix and Holly go up against each other in the first ever Trick or Treat match. The exact second Chicks Over Dicks hit the ring, their music is interrupted by Holly-Wood’s bombastic entrance tune “Let’s go” by Trick Daddy! BUFFER And their opponents, introducing first, from Hollywood, California.....HOLLY-WOOOOOODDDD!!!!! Wearing a yellow mesh top, with a black bra, short yellow hot pants with long black leggings, and latex gloves, Holly lazily walks out from the back. She carries a microphone. She makes a slashing gesture and the music is cut out. COLE Holly-Wood is on top of the stage. Looks like she’s about to say something. HOLLY-WOOD Originally when this match was signed, my partner was to be Logan Cowabunga Mann. But he pussed out. Actually, he didn’t want to be part of this match because he said his feelings of friendship for Krista were to strong and prevented him from fighting her. Whatever. I don’t care. A guy’s who level of success can’t even match that of Latoya Jackson’s country music career isn’t who I want in my corner. I need someone who’s got more gold then Flava Flav’s mouth. Someone who could obliterate this company with a snap of his fingers. What I need is natural born winner, a franchise.....I need......Zack Malibu! (The crowd remembering the numerous run-ins Holly had with Zack’s girlfriend, Candie and Zack’s brutal beatdown of Northstar are put into a state of shock!.) COLE Woah! HOLLY-WOOD Yeah, yeah, yeah. I hear your gasps. I see how you might not understand me. You think I’m selling out my little brother? Maybe, you even think I’m....crazy? COLE Perish the thought. COACH Shut up, Poindexter! HOLLY After what Zack did my baby brother, how the hell could I ever bring myself to share the same earth with him? Simple, it’s what Zack did to my sweet little brother that makes him the perfect partner. He’s ruthless, vile, heartless and cold blooded. He’s perfect. My brother, Edward or Northstar as you call him, can’t even walk. His jaw was wired shut for three months! His knee was torn to bits by Zack Malibu! The doctor said it was the most gruesome sports related injury he had seen in his forty years of treating athletes. This is the same doctor that treated Kris Draper after Claude Lemieux rearranged his face with a plane of plexiglass. Zack has caused my family an insurmountable amount of pain, but its small time compared to what Alix did. Alix, you can’t even begin to comprehend the amount of hurt my family endured thanks to you. Dumping my brother on national TV? What the fuck is wrong with you? There must be nothing but a block of ice where your heart used to be. I want you to imagine how humiliating that was for him. For me. For my family. He stayed up all night all night crying and tearing up pictures of you and wondering where he went wrong. But did you care? Did anyone care? Of course not! Because you’re all just selfish, unfeeling, emotionally void ass holes. Well I don’t need you! And soon I won’t even see you because if anyone can make you feel the pain you’ve caused, its Zack Malibu. Papa Roach's "Getting Away With Murder" hits, and the fans speak out in hatred for the former World Champion as he comes out to the ramp, standing side by side with Holly. Holly hands him the mic, and a much-too-happy Zack takes it, ready to speak his piece on the situation. ZACK Holly, thank you very much for those kind words. You see people, THIS is what I ask for from you, but none of you are capable of it. R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Holly-Wood has nothing but respect for the man that saved this company, the man that keeps the money coming in...ME! She knows how to differentiate a winner from a loser. She watched me spill Northstar's blood on live television, sending him packing to some Club Med resort, but still, still she comes to me and says that what REALLY bothers her is what that bitch in the ring did to him. Alix, you and I have quite the past, and although I should have thanked you for running that glorified groupie Alison back to home to her parents and that butcher of a brother of hers, what happened back then has no bearing on what happens tonight, which will simply be an ass kicking to the nth degree. Hell, I don't consider you competition...you're more of a warm-up. You two girls remind me of someone, although I can't quite put my finger on it... Immediately, the crowd begins chanting "Crystal", Zack's most hated rival, who reigns as the OAOAST World Champion, a title she defeated Malibu for this summer. ZACK Yeah, yeah that's it. Go ahead, chant her name, but do you see her giving me the rematch I deserve? NO! NO! She tucked tail and ran! So tonight, Alix and Krista...tonight you die for her sins! This is your day of reckoning for all grievances from both Holly and I. All I can say is that you need to prepare yourselves quickly, because pain and agony are imminent. Malibu drops the mic, and he and Holly head down to the ring, urged on by Chicks Over Dicks as they remain calm, even eager to lock up with Holly and her surprise partner. The match starts off with Krista Isadora Duncan and two time world champion Zack Malibu. Zack lunges at Krista, but stops right as he reaches her face. It’s a clever intimidation tactic but Krista won’t fall for it. The two wrestlers circle each other, never once parting their gaze for an instant. Zack shoots in on Krista! He goes behind her and ducks down. He pulls her legs out from under her and drops her down with a double tag down! Zack stays with her and bends over to pick her up! But she spins her body around and kicks him square in the face! The Rhode Island born superstar staggers backwards. Clutching his face, he loudly questions what Krista’s doing. Zack comes back at a now standing Krista with a rage filled forearm! Krista drops to the ground and brings Zack down with her with a drop toe hold! Needless to say the temperamental wrestler is furious! He slams his hand on the mat and his nostrils flare wildly. Krista swings over on him, and grabs him into a side headlock. Due to having an obvious strength advantage over Krista, Zack is able to lift himself off the mat with the hold still applied. He presses his palms against Krista’s lower back and shoves the blond starlet to the ropes. Krista runs the ropes and comes back with a dropkick! Zack catches her legs and drops her to the mat in a wheelbarrow setup! He lifts her up for a wheelbarrow suplex, but she counters it into a bulldog! BAM! The top of Zack’s head is driven into the mat! Zack rolls over on his back felling a stinging sensation in his head and in his pride. Krista drops on top of him for a pin! 1 KICK OUT! Zack pushes himself to his feet, coughing a bit as he stands up. Krista grabs hold of his arm and whips him into the ropes! No! Zack reverses it! Krista runs back to him and he slams her to the mat with a hard powerslam! Despite Krista’s low body weight the force of the blow shakes the ring! Instead of hooking the leg and going for a pin, Zack stands up to reassure himself of his own greatness. “I AM THE FRANCHISE! I BUILT THIS FED! YOU ALL ARE NOTHING!” Not only does Zack’s taunting draw a hefty amount of boos from the fans but it also eliminates any advantage his powerslam may have given him as Krista is on her feet and ready to roll! Zack fails to realize this and he continues his insulting tirade! He’s quickly brought back to reality when Krista drops him with a side Russian leg sweep. WHAM! Zack isn’t capable of bracing himself for the fall and the back of his head bounces off the mat like a ball off a tennis court! “Poor baby.” Krista remarks sarcastically CABOOSE The Capulets and The Montagues. The Hatfeilds and the McCoy’s. Now we have the Malibus and the..uh....what is Holly-wood’s last name? COACH Um...Wood? Holly Wood? COLE I doubt her parents would be cruel enough to name her after the city she was born in. COACH Why not? Your parents were cruel enough not to abort you. CABOOSE Oh shit! Coach OWNED you! Loud chants of “YOU TAPPED OUT” echo throughout the building, but are felt the hardest inside the tortured mind of Zack Malibu. He rolls forward and gets some distance between himself in Krista. He stands up and sees Krista charging at him! When she reaches him, he takes her over with an arm drag sending her down to the mat! The former fan favorite tries to hook Krista into an armbar but she whips her free hand out and grabs hold of the ropes. Zack seethes with a rage that burns like wildfire as the crowd’s insults continue to grow louder. He lifts Krista up and belts her in the stomach with a hard punch! The attack does nothing to alleviate Zack’s frayed ego and the unbalanced superstar continues to read like a book written in twenty different languages. He tosses Krista into the corner where her back smacks against the turnbuckle. Zack follows her in with a corner splash but Krista meets him with a boot to the face! The underside of Krista’s shoe connects with Zack’s nose and sends him down to the mat! He looks on horrified and upset as Krista takes a moment to catch her breath. The exercise guru and award winning author steps onto the second rope and flies off with a knee drop to Zack’s stomach! Zack’s legs kick up and a loud “Oomph” rockets out from his mouth to the freedom of the open air! CABOOSE Zack’s never faced Krista before and he got entered as Holly’s partner at the last minute. Zack needs time to prepare for his matches. He’s a gamer! Zack rolls onto his stomach and pushes himself up. Krista is right there to snapmare him over! But Zack blocks the snapmare by shoving Krista down to the ground. Zack backs away from Krista very slowly and allows her to get to her feet. When she’s fully upright, he pounces on her with hard punches! Krista covers up as her mind races for a way to prevent Zack’s assault from doing any serious harm. Despite her blocking, Zack is able to back Krista to his corner. He grabs her into a front facelock and puts her down with a snap suplex! Zack hovers over Krista, his face a devilish red, his eyes are as wide as a mountain and as evil as Satan himself. “I’M ZACK MALIBU DAMN IT! DAMN IT! DAMN IT!” Zack turns around and makes the tag to the equally off-center Holly-Wood. Holly enters the ring and brushes strands of hair away from her eyes. Holly makes no effort to not let her contempt for Krista show. She buries a soccer like kick into the small of Krista’s back! She hits Krista with another! And another! Holly continues to kick Krista! Krista escapes by rolling under the ropes With her enemy lying on the ring apron, Holly reaches over the ropes and brings her to her feet. Holly slugs Krista in the jaw with a wild right hand! The blow rocks Krista’s world and she has to hold onto the ropes just to prevent herself from falling back to the floor bellow. Again Holly hammers Krista with a wild haymaker! Krista tethers on the edge of the ring, fighting a desperate battle to stay on the apron! POW! Another heavy punch from the new Hollywood madame! Krista’s hold on the ropes stays tighter then a vice grip so she still doesn’t fall! SMAAAAACK! Krista’s face slams against the apron and her feet hit the floor after Zack Malibu yanks her off the apron! She slumps backwards to the outside mat, holding her face. The former In Crowd member stands over her and gives her an earful! “I’M ZACK MALIBU, YOU UGLY SLUT! TWO TIME WORLD CHAMPION YOU CUM DRENCHED SPERM BUCKET! I’M ZA....” From out of nowhere, Alix grabs Zack by the seat of his tights, nearly pulling them off in the process, and TOSSES~! him into the ring steps! That draws an enormous pop from the audience! “LET’S GO ALIX! LET’S GO ALIX!” CABOOSE That’s no way to treat the champ! COACH He’s not the champ! CABOOSE Don’t remind me. We’ll be back. (Go to break) (Return from break) We return to break to find that Holly has Krista backed into the corner! “WHOO!” Holly tears apart Krista’s chest with a venomous knife edge. “WHOO!” She rips her to skin to bits with another. Holly runs her fingers through her thick auburn hair and mutters a number of expletives. She takes Krista by the arm and whips her to the opposite corner! Krista’s back hammers the poorly padded turnbuckles and an audible groan leaks out of her mouth. She lowers her head, causing her blonde locks to fall in front of her. This gives Holly-wood the impression that Krista is out of it and the SoCal beauty charges at her with an avalanche! BUT KID was just playing possum! She steps out of the way and Holly’s chest collides with the turnbuckle! Holly drops backward, her eyes slowly rolling to the back of her head. Every thing looks as if it’s a blur and little stars and blue birdies float in a circle above her head. Then Krista hits her with a BIG TIME blue thunder powerbomb! KABAM! The move has a serious impact and can be felt all the way across the country to sunny Californ-i-a. COLE A lot in common between these four. All of them are from the Golden State. However, only Krista and Holly-Wood were born there. Alix was born in Oregon and raised in San Jose. Zack was born and raised in Rhode Island. Both Holly and Krista are from the suburban Los Angeles area. CABOOSE You think your lack of any respectable wrestling knowledge is made up by these stalker like facts that you seem to have on every one on the roster. You’re wrong. Krista makes a tag to Alix Spezia and the crowd raises the roof with cheers! Holly gives Alix a glare that’s more frigid then Edmonton in December. She swallows hard while narrowing her eyes. She stands up and clenches her fists that hang to her side like twin AK47's. She then charges at Alix with a lariat! “LET’S GO ALIX! LET’S GO ALIX!” Alix is quick. But not that quick. No human alive would be quick enough to dodge Holly who was coming with the speed and lethality of a runaway bullet train! The blow connects like a car into a brick wall and Alix is folded in half! Even Holly is a bit amazed by her own strength. She looks at Alix’s prone body. Her eyes narrow to the point where it looks like they’re closed and she drops a knee across Alix’s adorable face. The Arista records employee stands up and punches Krista square in the jaw! This time she does manage to knock Krista off the ring apron! Holly shows off a Malibu-esque sneer as she watches Krista writhe on the outside mat in pain. Holly turns her attention back to Alix who is using the ropes to pull herself to her feet. She looks positively dazed from that clothesline and Holly takes full advantage of her weakened state. She hammers Alix in the back with a clubbing forearm! Alix lurches forward, fighting against herself as she tries to stay up. Holly follows her forearm by grabbing Alix into a waistlock! With the crowd solidly behind her opponent, Holly lifts Alix up like she’s going for a german suplex! But instead of tossing her backwards, as is the custom, Holly drops Alix face first onto the mat and sits out on the deadly move! COLE Ye-ouch! When former future sister in laws attack! Huh? Huh? Pretty funny, eh. COACH What’s funny is you thinking those frosted tips and chickenshit goatee don’t make you look like a fourteen year old pussy. CABOOSE Coach is scoring on you like an open net! Alix pushes herself onto her feet. The camera zooms in her face, that’s as red as a tomato. Holly circles behind her. Cracking her knuckles, she eagerly anticipates the chance to do more harm to Alix. She doesn’t wait for long and takes Alix back to the canvas with a half nelson face crusher! Alix rolls onto her back, holding her hand against her hurt head. She’s groggy as hell, but still aware that Holly is trying to lock her into the HOLLYWOOD GROOVE~! (Liontamer). Alix realizes that getting put in the hold basically equals an instant loss. So she shoots her body up and grabs Holly into a ROLL UP~! 1 2 KICK OUT! COLE That was close! Holly stands right up and is immediately joined by Alix. She’s none to pleased with Alix’s kickout and displays her intense displeasure with a hard leg lariat! Alix crashes to the mat like a downed jet fighter! Unlike her baby brother, Holly isn’t one for theatrics. She hauls Alix to her feet and proceeds to unload on the San Jose State grad with hard body shots! The blows daze Alix and she wobbles from left to right, not even making an effort to cover up. Holly ends her punch fest and grabs Alix into a front face lock! ROLL THE DICE BABY! Alix is dead! If she ain’t, the massive migraine that move gave her is gonna make her wish she was! COLE This match is hot! But fans we have to go to break! CABOOSE Go to break and Cole dies. I swear. Our production crew foolishly decides that Cole’s life is worth more then our precious ad revenue so we stay with the match. Back in the ring, Holly brings Zack into the match with a tag. His re-arrival whips the crowd into a bitter frenzy as they direct a number of obscene chants at him. Remembering the earlier humiliation Alix caused him, Zack angrily stomps over to her. She stands up and Zack goes behind her and gets her into a full nelson! Alix squirms against Zack’s body (making Coach insanely jealous) and eventually frees herself of the hold. She flies behind Zackie bear and grabs him into a waist lock. The leader of the Thrillogy totally dead asses her and she can’t lift him. He nails her with a wild elbow to the side of the head and her grip is broken like a record! Alix tries to put some distance between herself and Zack. But he grabs her arms and pulls her toward him. He lifts her onto his shoulder, frowns the frown to end all frowns and takes her down with a MOTHER FUCKING DEATH VALLEY DRIVER! Zack scoops Alix up and hits her with another MOTHER FUCKING DEATH VALLEY DRIVER! Malibu drops to his knees and gets in close to Alix. A smile appears on his twisted face as he derives a sick pleasure from listening to Alix’s pained moans. He places his index finger on her shoulder and orders referee Clem Boxerfeller the second to count the pin! 1 KICK OUT! Zack slams his hands against the mat in sheer disbelief over not even getting a two count. Alix’s kick out only pisses him off further and he drives an elbow right into her neck! Alix makes a terrible choking noise that brings the smile back to Zack’s visage. He stands up and waits for Alix to do the same. When she does, he runs the ropes and uses the momentum he brings back with him to knock her head into Virginia with his favorite move, the YAKUZA KICK~! CABOOSE Oh yes! The first time Zack faced Alix she overwhelmed him with her speed. But now? Speed doesn’t mean a thing if you’re on your back the whole night. But I’m sure that’s a position she’s used to. COACH Gee, I haven’t heard that one before. Zack stands Alix up and smacks her with a European uppercut! She staggers backwards and rests against the ropes, fully feeling the effects of that strike. Zack grabs Alix’s left arm and tries to pull her away from the ropes! But Alix hooks her right arm around the top rope preventing Zack from yanking her off! The two wrestlers engage in a tenacious battle that the much stronger Zack decisively wins! He pulls Alix towards him and drives a knee right into her gut! Alix doubles over, apparently too groggy to mount a comeback. Zack runs towards the ropes. He darts like a comet back to her with a shoulder block! COUNTERED! Alix counters with a MONA LISA SMILE~!(flashback) Malibu is taken downtown to China town and that ain’t no joke, baby! Zack flops over on his back as if he has just been shot and the match moves into stalemate status. COACH HOLLA ATCHA BOI~! Cakes, Cakes, Cakes, Cakes are a bangin!!!!!!!!!! COLE I love cake! COACH Really? You seem more like a sausage man.... Zack begins the slow crawl to his corner to tag Holly, while Alix makes the long trek towards her’s. Both partners stand on the ropes! Stretching their arms out as far as they can, they anxiously await the match altering tag! Holly takes nervous glances over at Alix who’s moving at a much slower pace then Zachary. She pleads with Zack to hurry up, so that she’ll have a chance to cut Alix off! Hot tag to Holly! Hot tag to Krista! CROWD POP! Krista comes at Holly like a bat out of hell with a clothesline! Holly ducks it and takes Krista out with a back suplex! NO! Krista lands on her feet behind Holly! She spins Holly around and drills her with a DDT! NO! Holly shoves Kirsta off! Krista stumbles away and runs back first into Zack Malibu! She turns around to nail him a discus punch but Zack is waiting for her with a SCHOOLS OUT!! Its lights out for Krista! WAIT NO IT ISN’T! Krista side steps Zack’s trademark shot and swings behind the insane super star! Zack kicks his leg down and prepares to turn around and fire another Schools Out but Krista catches him into an inverted face lock! DOWN WITH LOVE(Curtain call onto the knee)? NO! Zack slams his knee cap right into Krista’s forehead! She lets him go free, more concerned with the hammering headache his counter left behind. Zack grabs a hold of Krista’s arm and brings her in close for a SHORTARM CLOTHESLINE~! NO! Krista ducks and Zack’s arm eats air! She runs underneath him and pops up to SMOKE Holly with a running clothesline! Krista runs past her fallen body and hits the ropes! She darts back at Zack and tries to decapitate him with a leaping side kick! Zack ducks! Krista sails over head and lands on her feet! She whips her body around to meet Zack with a hard knife edge chop, but he takes her over with a DEATH VALLEY DRIVER set up! FUCK NO! Krista counters, by swinging her body out and hitting Zack with a tornado DDT! The POP is down and out and the fans are ELECTRIC~! Krista turns her attention to Holly who is now standing! Punch by Holly! BLOCKED! Holly hits a spinning SPINE BUSTER! KRISTA’S BACK IS DESTROYED BY THE MOVE! Holly keeps a hold of Krista’s leg and flips her over for a HOLLYWOOD GROOVE! Krista instinctively reaches out for the ropes but alas she’s in the center of the ring! Holly’s surprisingly calm as she in a position that’s equivalent to a pitchers count baseball. The crowd urges Krista to stay strong and not to tap out! Following their orders, she begins a long crawl to the ropes. It’s looks like she just might make it, but hope is snuffed out as quickly as it appeared as Holly drags her back to the center of the ring! Krista once again tries to reach the ropes but its like crawling with the Empire State building strapped to your back and she is unable to make much a headway. She attempts to powerout, but Holly’s hold is clamped on like a pair of handcuffs! Krista lifts her hand up and....TAPS OUT! YEAH! YEAAAAHHHH!!! YEAH! YEAH!!! The energetic beat of Let’s Go blare from the speakers and allies itself with the crowd’s venomous boos to drown out Buffer’s official announcement! Holly uses her foot to push Krista out of the ring as if the woman was diseased. She leans over the ropes and stares daggers Alix’s way. COLE That’s the only the third tag team loss for Chicks Over Dicks and it came in the main event of tonight’s show! Zack Malibu and Holly-Wood, putting aside their differences and working together to beat the team with the best record in the tag division! CABOOSE That was an impressive win but what else would you expect from the Franchise of the OAOAST and the sister of the OAOAST’s resident legend killer? Chicks Over Dicks got some competition from a team far more talented then any in the tag division not named Black T or the New New Midnight Express and they fell apart. Holly has a great deal of momentum heading into her Trick or Treat match with Alix at WWE! And by beating the team with the best record in tag team wrestling, Zack has put the fear god into whoever he faces! COACH That’s it for this weeks show! But next week’s is gonna be ON FIRE as we are live in Richmond, Virginia! It’s the last show before World Without End so do not miss it! (We fade out as we watch Holly and Zack walk up the ramp, victorious.)

OAOAST HeldDOWN~! We enjoy the sounds of “I Like” by Katy Rose before being attacked by the logo! FIREWORKS! FANS! HELDDOWN! HOORAY! TRIPLE C! COLE Folks, welcome to Baltimore, Maryland for exciting another edition of HeldDOWN! I’m Michael Cole, joined by Caboose and the Coach! We’ve got some amazing action in store for you tonight! COACH BIG FALL OUT! CABOOSE No doubt. Last weeks show was the craziest I’ve ever seen! Hells Hitmen and GPX were ambushed by almost every major team in the tag division, wrecking their tag team cage match! The Love Doctors tried to kill the Frankenstieners! Ragdoll tried to light Axel on fire! Holly-Wood tried to slit Tiffany’s throat! Panther and Drek stone tried to claim victory in the round robin tournament... COACH And Mikey tried to touch my penis. COLE I did not! COACH Well you wanted to. COLE Shut it! Let’s just start the show. A BLACK REEF stands in the ring as we return from break. The camera pans back and we see JAMES E. CORNETTE, manager of the New New Midnight Express, appropriately attired in an all black polyster suit with JINGUS' MASK placed over his TENNIS RACKET, standing alongside the reef, with a poster next to it reading: "See you in heav...Oh, you won't be there-- With hatred, NNMX". CORNETTE Uninvited guests, we are gathered here to celebrate, not mourn, the departure of two of the biggest, ugliest, horrorific wrestlers that have ever graced a wrestling ring -- Hell's Hitmen. But do not cry, for they have gone to a better place, a place where they no longer live in fear of the New New Midnight Express. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, let's celebrate! Let's celebrate the men who freed the OAOAST of those two waste of sperm. Ladies and gentlemen, here they are. They have more hits than Elvis & the Beatles combine. "Sarcastic" Simon & "Narcissistic" Ned, the New New Midnight Express! "Chase" hits, and "Sarcastic" Simon & "Narcissistic" Ned emerge on the stage to an ungodly amount of boos. Like their manager, the NNMX are dressed in black -- long black robes. They know tonight isn't the time to be wearing their silvery vests. The New New Midnight Express casually strut to the ring, making an "X" with their index fingers as they soak in the boos from the fans, sarcastically pretending to shed tears, while they carve "MX" in the air. COLE I can't believe how proud these guys are. Last week, on HeldDown, they mutilated The Sadist's forehead with a tiny piece of razor blade. All of the OAOAST offices -- OAOAST Towers, OAOAST Center -- were all flooded with complaints about the mature violence that occured during the House of Pain match, which was scheduled to be a tag team title rematch from Dirty Deeds between Hell's Hitmen & the Global Party XChange. But as we found out, it was an elaborate plan concocted by Jim Cornette to take out the Hitmen. CABOOSE Jim Cornette interrupted an interview Jesse "The Body" Ventura was conducting with GPX, politely asking Scotty & Johnny if they accepted the challenge issued by the New New Midnight Express. Since losing the tag team championship in a 3-Way TLC match at AngleSlam, the New New Midnight Express haven't been granted a return match, something that was written in their contract. GPX then went into roid rage, threatening Jim-- COLE That's a lie! You can't explain anything without spinning it. Jim Cornette insulted GPX on a number of occasions. After taking a massive amount of verbal abuse from that loudmouth, GPX were set to shut him up their way -- the hard way. Simon & Ned attacked them from behind, locking Scotty inside one of the lockers. Then, for whatever reason, The Muses went after Hell's Hitmen. COACH Short story: the New New Midnight Express laid the smackdown on GPX & Hell's Hitmen. They used bats on GPX, ether to knock out Hell's Hitmen, duct taped The Sadist's straitjacket together and carved "MX" into his forehead. So brutal, TSM has forbidden us from ever airing it again. But you can relive the shocking moments at our media section on OAOAST.com. Cornette, Simon & Ned all share an emotional hug, wiping away "tears." CORNETTE Simon, Ned...I know how close you were with Jingus & The Sadist, and how heart broken you are due to their demise, but since we're here to celebrate, not mourn, I figured we'd talk about our match against Hell's Hitmen at World Without End being called off. COLE What?! Since when has that been the case? I haven't heard anything about that. CORNETTE "Sarcastic" Simon & "Narcissistic" Ned are disappointed they will not be able to showcase their tremendous wrestling ability at World Without End, but this being an election year, and with the negativity our public leaders display nowadays, we prefer to talk about the positive things in life, like how the departure from this world without end saved Hell's Hitmen from another major league ass-kicking at the hands of the New New Midnight Express. SIMON (sarcastically) So sad, as they were great wrestlers. NED Jimmy, it pains me to say this, considering they're our friends and all, but to be quite honest, Hell's Hitmen suck! We completely annihilate those freakjobs, to the point we've runned them out of town. We're not going to apologize about anything. We're proud of our actions. They suck, we rule! Now that we have Halloween night off, I now what I'll be doing -- scoring with all the ladies! And a note to all the chicks in Baltimore: Look, but don't touch. My body's like milk, because I do the body good. CORNETTE (chuckles) Beautiful -- and I don't mean the ladies in Baltimore. Not only did we run Hell's Hitmen out of town, nobody's heard a peep from them. Guys, I wouldn't be too embarrassed. At least your tombstones will read: "Crushed at the hands of Jim Cornette's New New Midnight Express, the greatest tag team man ever knew." Ha ha! What the hell do you want? "COWBOY" BILL WATTS, Chairman of the OAOAST board of directors, enters the ring. WATTS First of all, I don't have to answer anything to you. Got it, fat boy? Since I have a voice in signing match contracts, I'm here with a few announcements. One: Black T & Los Infernales have been fined $5,000 and suspended one week without pay. The Love Doctors have also been $10,000 for enjecting the Frankensteiners with needles. This isn't New York, and I don't expect our talent to come up with clever ways to enhance their bodies. Two: You, Simon Singleton & Ned Blanchard have been fined $15,000 for your actions last week. Cornette & the NNMX go ballistic. WATTS (CON'TD) You wanna go around hitting people with baseball bats, handcuffing people to cages after knocking them out with ether, and carving Holiday messages into their foreheads? Where I come from, we don't hit people from behind. If two guys have a problem they take it out back and hook 'em up! CORNETTE This isn't Bonanza, and you aren't on the Ponderosa. WATTS The New New Midnight Express' theme song is called "Chase", and by all accounts that's what you've done to Hell's Hitmen -- chase them out of the OAOAST. Yeah, the Midnights won't be facing Hell's Hitmen at World Without End. We tried contacting any known family members to no avail. We've received numerous tips concerning their whereabouts -- nothing. But you know why I decided not to suspend all 3 of your asses? Because the Worlds tag team champions want a piece of your ass at World Without End! Big POP. Cornette's whining turns to jubilee. He got what he's wanted for months, a tag team title return match. WATTS (CONT'D) Some critics out there will say you're being rewarded for your dirty deeds. Not true. Yes, the NNMX haven't had their automatic return title shot granted, and I gave serious thought to revoking that right as punishment, but when the champs came up to me and said we want this match, I gave it to them. The OAOAST is about the best facing the best, and without question GPX & the NNMX are two of the best tag teams in the world today. Last but certainly not least, we have added another match to tonight's card. Send a ref out from the back, because the NNMX are gonna be in tag team action right now! Cornette becomes incense. CORNETTE Whoa, whoa, whoa! Against who? WATTS Just a couple of good ol' boys who love that old-time rock 'n' roll. Good luck tonight and at World Without End. The opening notes to Bob Seger's "Old time Rock 'n' Roll" begins playing, and out come, to a very nice ovation...THE ROCK 'N' ROLL EXPRESS! * DING DING DING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is set for one fall. Introducing first, from the Darkside, weighing 465 pounds, Jim Cornette presents... "Sarcastic" Simon & "Narcissistic" Ned, the New New Midnight Express! Their opponents, from the Volunteer state, Ricky & Robert, the Rock 'n' Roll Express! Smiles on their faces, Ricky & Robert boogie down the aisles, slapping hands with many of the fans ringside. Jim Cornette's face is one of horror and disbelief. He throws a fit in the ring. Jumping up and down, throwing his racket to the ground, saying "No, no, no! Not them." COLE Oh, my! 5-time NWA & 10-time Smoky Mountain Wrestling tag team champions, the Rock 'n' Roll Express. Longtime fans remember the classic battles the Rock 'n' Roll Express had with the Midnight Express throughout the 1980s. It all began in 1984, when the Rock 'n' Roll Express were battling the Dennis Condrey/Bobby Eaton version of the Midnight Express. When Stan Lane replaced Condrey, the hatred between the two sides didn't subside, it grew. Only one of the Rock 'n' Rolls NWA tag title wins came at the hands of the Midnight Express. When Jim Cornette formed the Heavenly Bodies in Smoky Mountain Wrestling, he'd continue to battle the Rock 'n' Roll Express, trading the SMW tag titles a number of times. CABOOSE Is J.R. feeding you info from your headset? We all know you, Michael Cole. Don't tell me you knew that off-hand. COLE There were rumblings inside OAOAST Towers that Bill Watts was going to punishing the NNMX due to their actions last week. The the Rock 'n' Roll Express' name kept being brought up because of their history with Jim Cornette. The history between those two is incredible. CABOOSE Why didn't anybody bother to tell Jim Cornette about what was being planned at the offices? COLE Nobody likes him. COACH The Coach likes him. As Ricky & Robert enter the jungles of a OAOAST ring, they immediately come under fire from their younger opponents. The Rock 'n' Roll Express & the New New Midnight Express engage in a pier-six brawl, beating the hell out of each other with chops and punches. Both Midnights whipped into the ropes. BACK BODYDROP. Ricky Morton with a dropkick on "Sarcastic" Simon Singleton. Simon hightails it outside, leaving his partner to get clotheslined over the top rope to the arena floor. The Rock 'n' Roll Express remove their t-shirts and play up to the crowd. Their bodies look a little older, but their hearts still full of youthful spirit. Jim Cornette regroups outside with Simon & Ned. TRIPLE COCONUT! CABOOSE Illegal double-team! That's how you lose brainpower. Ricky & Robert high-five in the ring, while "Sarcastic" Simon & "Narcissistic" Ned pace outside. Gibson & Singleton will start things off for their respective teams. But not before Jim Cornette hops on the apron and has one final group meeting with his men. Collar-and-elbow tieup. Simon backs Gibson against the ropes. Singleton's forearm placed on the veteran's chest, dangerously close to the throat. Referee Charles Robinson calling for a clean break. Will we get one? Yes--no! Singleton tried to catch the wile veteran with that wicked right hand of his, but Robert Gibson moved out of the way, and now Simon's the one caught in the corner, getting nailed on the head with right hands, as the crowd counts the number of punches Gibson throws. Gibson hammering Singleton in the corner with kneelifts, then hip tossing him out of the corner. HEAD SCISSORS TAKEDOWN. Simon is taken down again with a head scissors. Gibson applies a wristlock. Tag made. Gibson extends Simon's arm out so Morton can come off the middle turnbuckle with a double axe handle. The wristlock is re-applied. Ricky Morton wrenches the arm, adding further pressure. Simon balls up the fist but Charles Robinson tells him to keep it open. You can tell Simon is thinking of ways to escape. He decides on a drop toe hold into a headlock, successfully freeing himself of the wristlock. Now, Morton is the one faced with escaping a hold. Simon gets caught with a back suplex. Ricky Morton with an armdrag. And another. Singleton nearly gets hip tossed to the other side of the ring. Ricky whips him into the corner. MONKEYFLIP! Sarcastic Simon staggers to his feet. Ricky hops on his shoulders, and brings him down with a HURRICARANA! 1... 2... KICK OUT! Ricky tags in Robert. DOUBLE-TEAM SUPLEX gets two. Jim Cornette & Narcissistic Ned are going crazy on the outside, upset about the illegal double-teaming. Simon swings and misses. ATOMIC DROP. Uh-oh. Sarcastic Simon is caught in the Rock 'n' Roll Express' corner. He's become a human punching bag, taking Ricky & Robert's best shots. The fans count allow as Robert Gibson smashes Simon's head into the top turnbuckle. Scoope slam, then the tag made to Ricky Morton. Robert positions himself in the corner, as Ricky climbs to the top. COACH They're going for the Rocket Launcher, guys! That's one of the Midnight Express' trademark moves. CABOOSE Gimmick infringement! I can't belive the referee is allowing all this illegal double-teaming. ROCKET LAUNCHER! 1... 2... NED BREAKS UP THE PIN. COACH Damn, the Midnights were one second away from losing to the Rock 'n' Roll Express. The Rock 'n' Roll Express! That would be like Jimmy Carter coming back and winning the Presidential election. CABOOSE Those two old farts ought be helping Carter build houses, not wrestling in a OAOAST ring! Charles Robinson orders Narcissistic Ned to return to his corner. Cornette is flipping out, because Robinson didn't say one word when the RNRs were double-teaming the NNMX. Cornette huffs and puffs at Robinson's direction, but Charles isn't backing down, standing his ground. COACH Charles in charge! COLE Look at him acting so big and bad. He thinks he's John Wayne or something. Simon & Ned are holding Cornette back, but he wants a piece of Robinson. COACH He's gettin' serious, M.C. COLE Oh, he took off his coat. How lovely. Charles Robinson takes off his referee's shirt, showing off his scrawny but battled tested physique. CABOOSE I can't believe Huey Lewis faciliated a fight between a referee & manager. COACH Fight! Fight! The RNRs & NNMX have become the cornermen for Charles Robinson & Jim Cornette. RNRs for Robinson, NNMX for their manager. Charles floats like a butterfly -- we'll soon find out if he stings like a bee. But we know he isn't Muhammad Ali. Robinson ducks a right -- a very weak-looking right -- from Cornette and comes back with jabs to Corny's meaty body. Charles bounces around the ring with his arms raised to the cheers of the crowd. Red-faced, Cornette takes a few steps back and points his index finger at Charles. "I must break you," he says. Cornette, letting out a war cry that sounds more like a woman faking an orgasm, charges Robinson. Charles moves out of the way and catches Cornette with a vicious 1-2 punch, knocking Cornette through the ropes. The crowd goes crazy for the knockout. The Rock 'n' Roll Express raise Charles' arms in the air. He soaks in the cheers before putting his ref's shirt back on. COACH Charles in charge of Corny's days and his nights. Sticking up for their fallen manager, the New New Midnight Express chase Charles Robinson around the ring, but he has backup -- the Rock 'n' Roll Express! Thumb to the eyes stop the RNRs in their tracks. The NNMX have Ricky & Robert in two seperate corners. They Irish-whip them towards each other, but Ricky leapfrogs over Robert and catches Ned with a DIVING CLOTHESLINE! Robert hits Simon with a FLYING FOREARM. Morton & Gibson drag the NNMX to the center of the ring and apply the figure-four. DOUBLE FIGURE-FOURS! Charles Robinson asks Narcissistic Ned whether he wants to quit. Shaking off the cobwebs, Jim Cornette rakes the eyes of Robert Gibson. Cornette trash-talks Ricky Morton from the outside, allowing Simon to discreetly climb to the top rope. Cornette smiles at Morton who turns his head to the other side of the ring...FLYING KNEEDROP! Morton lets go of the figure-four and rolls around in pain. Simon drove the knee right on his throat. Narcissistic Ned slides under the bottom rope and lies on the ring apron, holding his knee. Simon covers Morton. 1... 2... PIN BROKEN UP. Robert Gibson pulled Simon off. Ned stretches his knee on the apron. Simon with the tag. Ned shakes off his leg, enters the ring...SLINGSHOT SUPLEX! The NNMX with another quick tag. Ned launches Simon into the air... THE ROCKET LAUNCHER! CABOOSE That's how it's done. 1... 2... AGAIN, THE PIN IS BROKEN UP. COLE Obviously frustrated, Simon gets in Robert Gibson's face-- oh! Gibson with a right hand. Simon heads back to his corner for another quick tag. "Narcissistic" Ned Blanchard twirls his hips, then drops the forearm across the throat of Ricky Morton. Reverse chinlock applied. The strategy of the New New Midnight Express is simple: keep Ricky Morton near their corner, and from getting any breathers. Chants of "ROCK 'N' ROLL" kick up in the arena, but it's going to take more than 10,000-plus fans to help Ricky. CABOOSE Yeah. A jumper cable's more like it. COLE That doesn't even deserve a response. CABOOSE You being alive doesn't deserve the oxygen. Ricky Morton battles to his feet, the adrenaline beginning to kick in. Morton breaks free, but Ned keeps him near the NNMX's corner with a droptoe hold, and tags in Simon. Singleton off the ropes with an elbow drop to the back of the head. Textbook Midnight Express adopted by the new class. Kneedrop on the back of the neck, followed by a modified camel clutch. Simon doesn't have the arms draped across the knees, just wrenching the neck back. Robert Gibson rallies the crowd, giving his partner the strength to push up, but Simon uses his own body -- his BUTT -- to CANNONBALL THE BACK, keeping Morton grounded. Ricky attempt to push out of it again, but like before, Simon's BUTT crashes down on the back. "Give up, you piece of scum," Cornette shouts from ringside. Morton gives it one last go, his tongue hanging out of his mouth like a dog thristy for a drink of water. And just like the previous two times, "Sarcastic" Simon jumps up in the air, but instead of coming down on Morton's back, he comes CRASHING DOWN...on Ricky's SHINS. Simon is frozen over Ricky Morton. SMALL PACKAGE. 1... 2... NED WITH THE DOUBLE AXE HANDLE! COACH Another save! Both teams have had their fair share of saves. Cornette's probably lost about 20 pounds worrying. COLE Ricky is crawling to his corner. He's taking such a beating, now he has to make the tag. But can he? Does Ricky have enough left in him? "Narcissistic" Ned enters the ring and nails Robert Gibson with a reverse elbow, knocking him off the ring apron, then drags Ricky Morton back to the NNMX's corner. Jim Cornette keeps Charles Robinson distracted by theatening to hit Robert Gibson with the tennis racket, allowing Simon & Ned to whip Ricky into the ropes for THE FLAPJACK. COLE "NARCISSISTIC" NED WITH THE COVER! But he ISN'T THE LEGAL MAN! CABOOSE I saw a tag. Clear as day. 1... COLE I don't believe this. 2... Just as Charles Robinson's hand was about to come down for 3, he stops, telling Ned he isn't the legal man. Ned & Jim Cornette unsuccessfully argue a tag was made. Referee Charles Robinson starts administering the 5 count Ned has to return to his corner. In his final act, Blanchard bodyslams Ricky. Simon's perched on the top! FLYING LEGDROP... MISSES! COLE Simon was going for the Alabama Jam. Yes, he's from South Carolina, but the move is named after the perfector of the Alabama Jam -- "Beautiful" Bobby Eaton. This time Ricky won't bother crawling to his corner, he's gonna walk there. Narcissistic" Ned with A HANDFUL OF MULLET. BICYCLE KICK! Ned used Ricky's out of date, but trademark hairstyle, in effort to keep him from making the tag, but Ricky caught him with a bicycle kick. Morton sommersaults to his corner, making the HOT TAG! 1... 2... KICKOUT! COLE Whether the crowd knew who the Rock 'n' Roll Express were before this bout, they sure do now. A thunderous ovation for the tag. CABOOSE When you have two great teams in the ring, nothing beats the excitement of tag team wrestling. Maybe I should come out of retirement and form a tag team. Nah. I'd rather sit here and collect the huge paychecks I get just for working 2 hours a week. Gibson comes in a house afire. Both Midnights go down. Bodyslam. One for Simon as well. Gibson ducks a clothesline, hitting Ned with one of his own. Simon swings through a right -- atomic drop. Back suplex gets two. Kneelift sends Ned outside. Simon with a SWINGING NECKBREAK-- no, Gibson countered it into a BACKSLIDE. 1... 2... KICKOUT! Ricky joins his partner. They're waiting for Simon to get up. CABOOSE No, don't tell me. This move makes me more sick than Hogan's big boot/legdrop combo. DOUBLE DROPKICK! CABOOSE I feel like throwing up. COACH I feel like makin' love. CABOOSE Hey, that's the first word you've spoken in over 10 minutes. And not surprising, it was about sex. When you have a kid, I'm sure his first word will be "boner." COLE This could be it. The longtime finishing double-team move of the Rock 'n' Roll Express! A move that has won them many matches over the last 20 years. Ricky Morton counts along with the fans and referee. 1... 2... Jim Cornette takes a swing at Ricky Morton's legs with the tennis racket. Morton pulls Cornette up onto the ring apron. Robert Gibson has "Sarcastic" Simon pinned in the ring, he's slamming his hand on the mat, but the referee is trying to set Cornette free. Gibson is on his knees screaming for the referee to count the fall. "Narcissistic" Ned sneaks up from behind... SUPERKICK TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD. Simon cradles Gibson. Morton pops Cornette, the referee turns around, Ned pulls Ricky down and holds his legs. Charles Robinson with the count. 1... 2... 3! * DING DING DING DING * Ricky Morton dives on Simon, but it's too late. BUFFER The winners of the match, "Sarcastic" Simon & "Narcissistic" Ned, the New New Midnight Express! COLE Ricky Morton is confused. The Rock 'n' Roll Express hit "Sarcastic" Simon with the double dropkick, a move that has won them countless matches over the course of 20 years, and it looked like Ricky & Robert would make a successful debut in the OAOAST, but you can never count out a Jim Cornette-led team. HELDDOWN~!REPLAY Presented by Star Wars Trilogy DVD Available now! Jim Cornette uses the racket to swing at Ricky Morton's legs... Cornette pulled onto the ring apron... Gibson has Singleton pinned in the ring... slamming his hand on the mat, but the referee is busy with Ricky Morton & Jim Cornette... On his knees, Gibson is screaming for the referee... SUPERKICK TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD... Simon with the cradle... Morton punches Cornette, the referee turns around, Ned pulls Ricky down as Charles Robinson counts to 3. CABOOSE (Voice Over) Being a managerial genius, Cornette distracted Ricky Morton, allowing "Narcissistic" Ned to hit Robert Gibson with a superkick. Simon cradles Gibson, 1-2-3. The NNMX go to the pay winda, as the "American Dream" Dusty Rhodes would say in public, if you will. COLE Let's go back to the ring! The New New Midnight Express have attacked the Rock 'n' Roll Express from behind. That's one awful habit they've developed. Jim Cornette hammers Ricky Morton with the racket. Simon & Ned are working over Robert Gibson pretty good. The crowd goes wild. THE GLOBAL PARTY XCHANGE! GPX & the NNMX slug it out in the ring. Neither team giving an inch. Jim Cornette sneaks behind Johnny "Jam" Jackson with the racket cocked, but the Rock 'n' Roll Express rip it out of Cornette's hands and deck him. Ricky & Robert join Scotty & Johnny in taking care of the NNMX. Ricky & Scotty and Robert & Johnny pair off... DOUBLE DROPKICK on the New New Midnight Express! Simon & Ned bail out of the ring. Old school sharing the spotlight with new school. COLE Oh, yeah! Rock 'n' roll will live forever! CABOOSE Oh, shut up. You sound as bad as J.R. before he was saved by being around two men who live in the fastlane. COACH I liked that show. It had Kelly, from Saved by the Bell, on it CABOOSE Where is it now, hmm? COACH The Coach thinks it ought be on TVLand. Classic show. In a world full of posers, phonies, and pure wannabees there finally emerges a group which has come to set the record straight. so, all you suckers better recognize, ya heard can you say uhhh na na na na... Cornette goes nutty when Ricky Morton throws his tennis racket into the crowd. The RNRs say "I love you" in sign language. James E. Cornette responds with his own form of sign language -- his middle finger. The Global Party XChange & the Rock 'n' Roll Express boogie in the ring, as we... (Cut to the backstage area, where Josh Matthews is standing by with the Bryant Cousins.) JOSH I'm Josh Matthews, standing by with two of the men that are going to be competing for a shot at the HI-YAH Jr. Heavyweight Title at World Without End tonight, Sean and Alex Bryant. Your guys' thoughts? SEAN Yo, wazzup, J-Math? Click this on your browser: you see, me and Alex here, we be a unit. We be blood, yo. Understandin' me here, Jo-Ma? Tonight, servitiude is gonna go down, slice on the back-low! Ninja ninja what what! (does random spinny breakdance move on floor then pops up and grabs Josh's microphone) Tonight, just like Josh here just got...you foo's are gonna get SERVED! ALEX (Directs Josh's microphone towards his mouth) I don't really say much; I usually let my work in the ring do my talking. But tonight, Tethers Brothers...we're not going into that match as two wrestlers seperately wanting a shot at the most prestigious lightweight wrestling title in the world. We're a team first and foremost; a team that doesn't like you. I don't care if I have to stretch you into a pretzel, drop you on your heads, or tie you up in a ball and roll you on your shoulders in one of the ways I've figured out how to during my private sessions, "having fun" with the students over at the Malibu School. The fact of the matter is, no matter which one of us gets the job done, we will defeat you. The time for talking is overwith. (The Bryants walk off-set.) JOSH There you have it, folks. We'll be back with more of OAOAST HeldDOWN here from the Baltimore Civic center. (go to break) (return from break)