Patty O'Green

LAST WEEK ON HELDOWN~! MALIBU Axel is DONE now. Finished! A fluke pin in that ass backwards badland he calls home, with crooked officiating and pure bias against myself and The Thrillogy? You think that counts? You think that win means something? IT DOESN’T! I DOESN’T MEAN A DAMN THING BECAUSE HIS CAREER IS DEAD AND I KILLED HI… “Ow wah ah ah ah” “Down With The Sickness” hits and the crowd ERUPTS, as a wild eyed Malibu turns to the entrance way in shock. There standing on the stage, clad in jeans, a black T-shirt, and an arm brace is AXEL! ****** AXEL If you “made” me, Zack, then prove it. Why don’t we make something together? Something called “history”, eh? Next week, I’ll come here and I’ll bring the HI-YAH Heavyweight Championship. I’ll bring my title and put it on the line, if anything just to coerce you even further into a match where I can finally put your delusions to rest. ALSO ON HELDOWN COACH Aw, yeah, boy, and the arena has been buzzin' about this one all night! Hoff versus Crystal! Crystal climbs up the ring steps, then climbs the ropes while still on the apron, hoisting the World Championship high into the air. Crystal hops down off the ropes, landing in-ring and waving the fans to their feet for a second time, as Hoff looks on from the opposite corner. Crystal turns to the referee, handing him her championship belt. The ref simply hands it to the timekeeper as Crystal takes off her trenchcoat. **** Hoff goes flying acorss the ring. Crystal crawls over to make another cover, but again, Hoff gets out at two. Crystal waits for the big man to get to his feet, then catches him with a dropsault, sending Hoff back into the corner. Crystal charges in, and SPEARS Hoff against the buckle! Hoff doubles over, holding his ribs, but Crystal drags him out by the hair! Crystal grabs Hoff, and takes him down with a Russian leg sweep! The cover by Crystal! ONE TWO NO! ***** Crystal grabs Hoff, whipping him out of the corner, but again, Hoff reverses. Crystal hits the opposite buckle, and Hoff charges in, but Crystal catches him with a back elbow! Hoff stumbles away, turning his body, and allowing Crystal to hop onto the second rope! Crystal, holding the top rope, reaches with her legs, and grabs Hoff's shoulders from behind! Before Hoff knows what's happening, Crystal jumps off the top rope and rolls forward into a victory roll! But Hoff blocks her momentum, and ends up on top of her! Hoff kneels on Crystal's shoulders, and the champion FLAILS to get out as the ref makes the count!!! ONE! TWO! THREE!! COLE Well we now know. It's official. At World Without End, it will be Hoff versus Crystal, one more time, for the World Championship! OAOAST HeldDOWN~! KAPWOWOWOWBAMAMABOOOM! SO MANY FIREWORKS, YOU’D THINK JUBILEE WAS IN THE BUILDING! COLE Folks, welcome to another exciting edition of the premier show in Sports and Entertainment, OAOAST HeldDOWN~! We are Triple C, Michael Cole, Caboose and John Coachman. And we’re live from the land of the extreme, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania! CABOOSE Extreme? That term is dead, just like the Global Party Exchange will be after tonight’s tag team title match against, Hells Hitmen. COACH In addition to the smoking hot tag team title match, Black T will go up against the Frankensteiners who will try to rebound from a sound ass whupping at the hands of Chicks Over Dicks. CABOOSE Plus, the OAOAST franchise Zack Malibu has a chance to shut Axel up once and for all when they fight for the HI-YAH heavyweight strap! I can’t imagine the type of hurt Zack has in store for Axel. I wouldn’t want to be in his shoes. COACH Because he has smelly feet? CABOOSE Please die. COLE Don’t forget that we have plenty of round robin action tonight, as the most revolutionary event in Sports and Entertainment ends tonight with three make em or break em matches! "Set It Off" blares through the sound system as the World Heavyweight Champion, CRYSTAL, makes her way to the ring. She asks for the microphone and waits for the crowd to quiet down before she speaks into it. CRYSTAL Before I get started, I would first and foremost want to ask Hoff to come on out. COLE Crystal isn't wasting any time. COACH Well, our champion isn't like other champions from not-to-be named companies that blabber on and on for seemingly hours on end... After a moment of waiting, "Black" blares through the arena speakers and Hoff comes out with a shit eating grin on his face. COACH Well doesn't he look proud... CABOOSE Why shouldn't he? He's the next World Champion baby! Hoff takes another microphone and waits for what Crystal has to say. CRYSTAL Hoff, I've got to admit, you outsmarted me last week. No doubt about it. For that, I give you props. And I truly am looking forward to defending the heavyweight title against you at World Without End. I've got to tell you, last week, you went from a joke to a legit World Title contender. The fans pop as Hoff quirks a smile. HOFF I've got to admit that I was absolutely shocked too. Crystal raises her eyebrows as crowd murmurs in confusion. HOFF Yeah, I was shocked...shocked it too that long to beat you! I've got to say, I was disappointed in myself! I mean, come on now! How long was the match? 15 minutes? I should have had you at 2 minutes! "BOOO!" Crystal rolls her eyes as Hoff continues. HOFF Why would anybody beat shocked I beat you? Everybody knows that, honey, you're just keeping that belt warm for the REAL future...ME! I'm agile, charismatic, and have about ten times the strength you do! Hate to break it to you Chrissy, but it was in the bag the whole time. CRYSTAL Oh then, let me guess: you were just pretending to get your ass kicked the entire match right up until the fluke rollup? Was it the element of surprise? Cut the crap Hoff: lady luck was on your side last week. Yes, you outsmarted me, and I appreciate and accept that. But if you think that it was anything but a spur of luck, you're dead wrong. Crystal steps towards Hoff, closing the distance between them. CRYSTAL I've got a little peice of advice for you Hoff: you better get more prepared for this match than you've ever been for any other. Because if last week is a preview of what we're going to see, lightning never strikes twice. Looking like a fool in your first World Title match at a Pay Per View is something a wrestler sometimes can never get over. If you want to start hanging with the main event dogs, you better start smartening up. Hoff stares at Crystal with a blank look on his face. He blinks a couple times, and slowly nods. Crystal stares after him as he walks up the ramp, his smile completely gone. Hoff pauses, looking thoughtfully at Crystal, before disappearing behind the curtain. COLE Crystal looks like she might be getting in Hoff's head a little! COACH Well, of course! She might be ultra, super, mega fine, but she's also SMART. CABOOSE Oh, can it, fanboy. Crystal's just blowing some smoke in Hoff's eyes to try and get past the fact that she got beat! COLE Maybe, but I think there's more to it than that. Hoff looked genuinely...I mean...I don't know! What was that...was it fear? COACH I don't think so, Mikey. I just think Hoff knows that beating Crystal will be a challenge! CABOOSE Bollocks. He did it once, he can surely do it again. No sweat. COLE Well, we'll see that match at our next pay-per-view, World Without End, on Halloween night! October 31st! But we've got a whole lot more yet tonight, including more Round Robin action! So stay tuned! (Go to break) (Return from break) COLE Welcome back, folks. And let me just tell you - during the commercial break, you missed an amazing match! COACH It definitely was something to watch. Gunner Sharps and Leon Rodez really fought it out, just to get a few points to add to their total. Gunner HAD to win this match to stay in the tournament. COLE So competitive. But in the end, surprisingly enough, Leon Rodez actually got the pinfall! And it was all thanks to that damn referee that Gunner powerbombed a few weeks ago. COACH I have no idea what that was about. CABOOSE I’m still in shock from when that giraffe ran down to ringside. COACH I have to agree with you there, Boose. But that locust swarm in the ring was something else too. COLE I think we’re all amazed by what happened there. But when Coca Cola calls you and says they want to run an extended ad for C2 Cola, you’re not just going to turn them down, you know? Ladies and gentlemen, it really wasn’t THAT great….. COACH Who would have thought that man would just parachute into the ring like that? CABOOSE Still amazed. COLE The point is - Leon added two points to his total, and both men are now officially gone from this tournament. We’re very sorry we couldn’t get that match to you folks at home. But what we CAN get for you is our final two matches in the Road to the Elimination Chamber. Drek Stone will be facing the Blurricane later on tonight, and we'll also be seeing Panther taking on the Mad Cappa! Those two matches are going to have HUGE effects on the winner of this tourney. Right now Caboose and Coach have another edition of Cruisin or Bruisin!

(Return from break) COLE Thanks for sticking with us folks, and that was our final commercial break, as it's now double main event time here on HeldDOWN~! COACH Damn skippy to the hippy, Mikey. CABOOSE Jesus Coach, for a black man you're as white as snow. Either the real stuff or the rapper. Pick one. The lights drop, as a thundering drum beat echoes through the arena, drawing loud cheers from the fans that are cloaked in darkness. The pounding of the drum gets harder, louder, until finally... "OOOOOH WAH AH AH AH" "Down With The Sickness" kicks in, and Axel comes storming out of the back! Ragdoll follows close behind, holding a water bottle pacing the stage as Axel moves from side to side and throws his hands up, giving some love back to his fans. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest, is for the HI-YAH Heavyweight Championship! From Tasmania, Australia, and coming down the aisle, accompanied by Ragdoll, is the current reigning and defending HI-YAH Heavyweight Champion...THE DARK ONE, AXXXXELLLLL! CABOOSE Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the stupidest man in wrestling. COLE Stupidest? How do you figure? CABOOSE Cole, this isn't rocket science. The man just had a gaping wound on the back of his head close up, and is coming to the ring with a fresh one above his eyes. He couldn't even stand up backstage earlier, and now he's going to outwrestle our beloved Franchise? COACH When did Shane Douglas sign with us? CABOOSE I swear sometimes Coach, you're so stupid it has to be a joke. Both Axel and Ragdoll enter the ring and play to the fans, although the cheering is promptly cut off by the sounds of "Getting Away With Murder" being cued up. The lights dim yet again, only this time the reaction isn't as positive for who emerges from behind the curtain. BUFFER His opponent tonight is a former two time OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion. Hailing from Providence, Rhode Island, he is The Savior, he is The Franchise...he is ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK MALLLLIBUUUUUU! Zack, along with the ever present Candie, appear on the ramp and look as cocky as ever. Malibu in particular is almost laughing as he looks up towards Axel, feeling that the injuries to The Dark One are going to make this a cakewalk. "All right Malibu, just hold it...hold up a second!" Malibu's music cuts out, and the cameras cut to the ring, as Ragdoll has grabbed the mic from Michael Buffer, surprising everyone, including Axel! RAGDOLL Just stay right there, preppy boy. Before you come down to this ring to get your hair torn out and stuffed down your throat, I have something to say to you. Malibu urges Ragdoll to spit it out, wondering what the deal is with the hesitation in starting this contest is. RAGDOLL I know you didn't attack Axel tonight. COLE What? CABOOSE FINALLY, someone with a clue in this company! The fans are abuzz, but even Zack himself is perplexed by this revelation. RAGDOLL Yeah, see that Zack, you're off the hook. Although, I have to say...seeing you walk by made for a great alibi. COLE Alibi...he... After saying that, Ragdoll turns to a shocked Axel, and blasts him in the forehead with the microphone! Blood starts oozing from the fresh wound and through the bandage, as Ragdoll starts pounding on the temple of who we thought was his good friend! COLE What the hell is going on here? CABOOSE Hell if I know, but I like it! Ragdoll stands up and takes the mic, as Malibu and Candie look on, as shocked as anyone. RAGDOLL You want to use me? Huh? You want to bring me back...for what? To get YOU ahead!? I don't enhance anyone, god damn it! I'm Ragdoll, baby! I'm Ragdoll! I've got all the talent you don't have, and you want me to be your lackey? I'M NO ONE'S LACKEY! After stomping on his "friend", Ragdoll backs off, and takes a swig from his water bottle. He's obviously holding the water in his mouth, as his cheeks are puffing out...but he reaches into the pocket of his jeans and produces...a lighter? THEN SPITS INTO IT, SETTING OFF A FIREBALL RIGHT INTO AXEL'S FACE~! COACH THAT WASN'T WATER, MIKEY! COLE You THINK!? Axel rolls around on the mat, covering his face and hollering in pain, as Ragdoll backs up and grins a smile that would make the Cheshire Cat jealous. Malibu and Candie are still looking on, and even The Franchise himself utters a "holy shit" to his girl. Hordes of OAOAST staff coming charging past them and down to the ring to the aid of Axel, while Ragdoll ducks out of the ring on the far side, hopping into the crowd and escaping before anyone can get their hands on him. COLE Fans, it doesn't look like we're going to have that main event...but we certainly didn't end without controversy! Ragdoll has snapped, and turned his back on the man who welcomed him back into the company with open arms...and we really don't know why! CABOOSE He got tired of carrying the Aussie's weight. 'Nuff said. COLE I hardly think that's all there is to it. Fans, we're going to cut this one short tonight, as they're tending to Axel in the ring. Tune in next week, where we hope to have an update on this situation and a whole lot more! (Go to break) (Return from break)

We journey backstage again, this time to the dressing room of Axel. The Dark One, who was attacked earlier in the night by Zack Malibu (we think) paces the room, a white bandage over his head. In there with him is his friend Ragdoll, who was quick to come to his defense earlier on. RAGDOLL Bro, sit down, relax. You don't have to go through with this match tonight. AXEL Of course I do. I put the title on the line, I told Zack that I was going to end this tonight, and if you think THIS is going to stop me... RAGDOLL Whoa, dude, hang on. Not to cut you off, but it almost DID end tonight. That son of a bitch jumped you and knocked you silly. Who knows what would have happened had I not shown up. AXEL You sure it was him? Because I didn't... RAGDOLL Axel, get with it! I find you oozing blood all over the floor, and the closest person to the scene of the crime is the same guy who sold out his friends, sold out his fans, and tried to bash your head in at the last pay per view. Axel breathes deeply, his body langauge showing that he knows his friend is right. AXEL Well, if Malibu wants to try to kill me off, then he can finish the damn job in the ring. I'm not going to be intimidated by him or The Thrillogy anymore. RAGDOLL Then you know what...I'm coming with you. If you're gonna take the rat bastard down, I want a front row seat. AXEL I've got no problem with that, mate. Axel and Ragdoll shake hands, and Axel grabs his HI-YAH Heavyweight Title from the chair. The two leave the room and head for the arena, as the highly anticipated Zack Malibu vs. Axel main event is NEXT~! (Go to break)

(Return from break) COLE Well, that last segment was stupid. CABOOSE You don't even remember what it was, do you? COLE My short term memory is comprimised by my addiction to eating flavoured condoms. COACH Match time! BUFFER The following contests is set for one fall and is for the HI-YAH Tag Team Championship. Cue: "Frankenstein" BUFFER Introducing first the challengers, from Oklahoma, at a total combined weight of 510lbs, Frank and Frankie - the FRRRRRRRRRRRRRANKENSTEINERS! The Frankensteiners get a good reception from the crowd, remembering their tough, hard hitting style from recent matches. The brothers walk confidently to the ring for the biggest match of their OAOAST careers to date. Suddenly, two men run out behind the Frankensteiners. They're wearing long white coats and medical masks that obscure there faces. The two intruders pull out NEEDLES, and inject something into the arms of Frank and Frankie! The brothers look at each other in confusion, before fading out into unconsciousness. Their assailants hi-five and remove their masks. COLE Ohmygod! The Love Doctors! Cue: "Calling Dr Love" The Docs strip off their coats, dancing and posing around the fallen Frankensteiners. Eventually, Dr. Max Anderson gets himself a microphone. DR.MAX Oh yeah, baby! Are you all ready for you dose of LUUUUUUURVE! The female portion of the crowd seems to be. The male is less sure, not appreciating the attack on the Frankensteiners. DR.MAX Ah, don't worry about those boys! Just a little dose of something so that WE can take part in a match like we deserve. We took GPX to the limit a few weeks ago, and since then, what matches have come our way? Tell them, Dr. Steve! DR. STEVE None. DR. MAX That's right! So we're taking this shot at the HI-YAH titles, and there's nothing anyone can do about it! COLE You know, they're right. CABOOSE What?! They just assaulted two men! They should be arrested! COACH But they said they were taking the shot. That makes it all ok. Don't you know anything about pro-wrestling? Referee Charles Robinson shrugs as the Docs enter the ring. He gets paid whatever. OAOAST roadies appear to drag the Frankensteiners away. Poor guys. Cue: "Quiet" BUFFER And introducing their opponents, first from London England, at 240lbs, the IceHeart, Dan BLLLLLACK! From Hollywood California, at 302lbs, THIS-IS- T.BOD! Being accompanied to the ring by the Farmer of Champions, Jivin' JR, they are the HI-YAH Tag Team Champions- BLLLLLLLLLLLLACK TEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! COLE Well, we were joined by Black T on commentary a little earlier, although not for long, as their attempts to get involved in the melee of the tag title match were thwarted by Los Infernales. CABOOSE Thank goodness we have this match so all the fans can get their regular fix of Black T. Dan and T.Bod, with JR bouding around their legs like a hyperactive puppy, walk down to the ring, HI-YAH straps firmly around their waists. They enter the ring calmly, looking curiously at the Docs. Dan grabs a mic. BLACK Ah...Frank? Frankie? Frankella? Francesca? DR.MAX We're not the Frankensteiners, you b*stard! We're the Love Doctors, and it's time you contracted our fever! BLACK What? Who-why-eh? T.BOD I think my colleague is trying to ask "Who the blo*dy hell are you?" DR.MAX Who are we? Who are we? Tell them, Dr.Steve! DR. STEVE The Love Doctors. Max looks at Steve with a look of "Is that the best you could come up with?". Max recovers and turns back to Black T. Max gets right in Dan's face with the mic, and then just NAILS him with it! Black goes down, and he's busted open! COACH Oh boy! A new badass attitude from the Love Docs here tonight! Charles Robinson holds T.Bod and JR back as the Docs dance around. Any hostility from the crowd has vanished the instant Max clocked Dan with the mic. JR takes Dan out of the ring, and for the moment at least it's going to be a handicap match, as T.Bod looks to start against Dr. Steve. *DING DING DING* COLE Here we go, and Black T have to be in danger of losing their titles here. Not only have the Docs been improving massively of late, but Dan Black may have just suffered a severe concussion. Who knows if he'll be able to go in this match? CABOOSE It doesn't really matter. T.Bod can take out these punks singlehandedly. JR probably could too. T.Bod and Steve lock up, with T.Bod immediately overpowering his medical opponent and shoving him down onto his behind. T.Bod flexes his massive biceps and grins. COACH There's no point the Docs trying to match power with T.Bod. They need to make the most of the situation- strike quick, and make lots of tags. Steve gets to his feet as T.Bod beckons him on. Steve runs the ropes and slides through the Body's legs, coming up behind him and nailing a standing dropkick as T.Bod turns. The Body picks himself up as Dr.Steve goes to work with a flurry of punches that back T.Bod into the corner. Steve steps back and runs around to attempt a splash into the corner, but T.Bod just catches him, steps out, and then executes an over head belly to belly throw that lands Pigley back first into the turnbuckles! COLE Pigley's going to need a doctor of his own now! Ahahaha! Ha? T.Bod scrapes Steven out of the corner and covers. CABOOSE Over already. Too easy for Black T. ONE! TWO! THREE! No! Steven with the shoulder up! T.Bod grimaces in surprise and gets Steven to his feet. The Body hooks Pigley up for a high powerslam, but the Doc suddenly wriggles free and slides down behind T.Bod, before making a dive to tag Dr. Max! Anderson vaults into the ring and greets T.Bod with a pair of arm drags and a running leg lariat. The Body shrugs off the attack and charges at Max, who gets a drop toe hold and an elbow drop to the back of T.Bod's neck. Max brings T.Bod up and double underhooks his arms. Anderson brings the Body over to the Doc's corner, and Dr.Pigley tags himself in and bends onto one knee. Max then gives T.Bod a double arm DDT so that his head is slammed into the knee of Dr.Steve! T.Bod goes down, clutching his head! COLE The Docs teaming up to inflict some serious damage on T.Bod here. COACH A win here would not only earn the HI-YAH titles, but give the Docs a good chance of being next in line for an OAOAST Tag Title shot. The Docs both pick T.Bod up and whip him to the ropes. As the Body bounces back Max goes down on all fours and Steven jumps off his back to execute an enziguiri to the back of T.Bod's head! The sound of boot on skull draws the crowds breath, as Steven covers: ONE! TWO! THRRRRREEEEEE- No! T.Bod with a shoulder up. Jivin' JR has finally gotten Dan Black up onto the ring apron, although blood is still running down his face. Dan pulls himself together and starts to shout support for T.Bod. Steven tags in Max and bends a little, allowing Anderson to climb up his back onto his shoulders! From way up there Max executes a twisting moonsault that lands him crashing onto T.Bod! ONE! TWO! THREEEEEEE! Black breaks it up! The crowd POPS for the acrobatic move, and then BOOOOS Dan as he kicks Max in the head on his way out of the ring. Max rolls off T.Bod, clutching his gut from the impact, and tags Pigley back in. Steven gets T.Bod to his feet and brings him into an empty corner. Grabbing T.Bod by the hair, he jumps onto the second rope, looking to hit a Tornado DDT, but as he jumps off and round T.Bod blocks the DDT and turns it into a northern lites suplex! ONE! TWO! Kickout! T.Bod rolls over and tags in Dan Black. Black cuts Pigley off from the tag to Dr. Max and works him over with a pair of European uppercuts and a trio of chops. With Steven stunned Dan goes behind, looking for a full nelson for a Dragon suplex attempt, but Steven quickly rolls out before Dan can link his hands and grabs a waistlock on Black. CABOOSE Now Dan is back in the game the Docs unfair advantage is over. Watch Black take this kid to school. He'll wish he was back in the ER - in the morgue. COLE Dan is a superior technical wrestler to the Docs, but he's lost a lot of blood, and if the Docs start flying I don't think Black can keep up. Dan tries to break the waistlock and manages to loosen Dr.Pigley's grasp enough to grab him into an armbar. Black twists the wrist and puts on pressure to the arm, but Steven simply executes a back flip that breaks Dan's grip and then hits a spin kick to the sternum! Black staggers back against the ropes and Pigley runs in at him, but Dan stops him dead in his tracks with an STO that slams Steven hard into the canvas. Black pauses to gain his breath, and then brings Pigley off the mat. Dan gets a grip around the neck and powers him up and over with an Exploder Suplex! Steve's head and neck are spiked into the mat, and Dan makes the cover: ONE! TWO! THREE! No- the kick out comes! Dan looks irritated, and tags in his partner. T.Bod takes a waistlock on Pigley, as Dan steps back- and hits a superkick into a German from T.Bod! ONE! TWO! THREE! No- Dr. Max comes in to break it up! Charles Robinson gets Max out of the ring, allowing Dan and T.Bod another double team. Black locks Steven into a Boston Crab, while T.Bod sits on the back of Pigley and applies a painful chinlock. Charles eventually turns and notices, and counts Black out of the ring. COLE Pigley's in trouble now. Black T are picking him apart, and he badly needs that tag to Dr. Max. T.Bod brings Pigley out of the chinlock and bodyslams him into the middle of the ring. The Body stands in front of Steven and rolls his hips, grinning- but Steven suddenly hits a kip up head scissors take over with a burst of energy! Pigley starts to drag himself over to Dr. Max, but T.Bod, though dizzy, is able to cut him off. The Body applies a front face lock and hits a vertical suplex into a cover: ONE! TWO! Shoulder up! CABOOSE T.Bod shook have hooked the leg. He shouldn't be making a rookie mistake like that. COACH Do you think Black T are still not taking the Docs seriously? CABOOSE Why should they? It's just a matter of time now. T.Bod brings Pigley to his feet, signalling that it's over. He grabs Steven's head and hits him with the Rude Awakening (neckbreaker)! Cover! ONE! TWO! THREE! No- Max breaks it up again with a despairing dive! As Charles gets Anderson out of the ring, we see a glint in the air. COLE Hey! Dan just threw something to T.Bod! COACH Knucks! T.Bod got knucks! Indeed, the Body has brass knuckles on his fist, and waits for Steven to get to his feet. T.Bod swings- and misses? Steven ducks the punch and takes T.Bod down with a spike DDT! Charles Robinson sees the knucks on T.Bod's fingers and takes them away. COLE That's got to be a disqualification! CABOOSE Hey, T.Bod didn't use the knucks. He was just wearing them. It's a style thing. Both Pigley and T.Bod start to crawl for tags as the crowd gets behind the Docs. T.Bod tags in Dan, and he runs across to Pigley- who leaps and makes the tag! Max leaps in to a big pop and takes Dan down with a clothesline. T.Bod runs back in but eats a dropkick to the face. Backbody drop for Black. Lariat for T.Bod. Max jumps onto the top rope- missile dropkick to T.Bod as he staggers up! Max jumps to his feet and holds his hands in the air, celebrating! And Dan Black takes him down into the Heart of Ice (Crippler Crossface). Max struggles in the hold as Black tears at his neck. Pigley starts to pick himself up on the apron- but Jivin' JR, unseen by Robinson, drags him down to the floor and sits on his chest! With 300lbs of Jive on him, Pigley is going nowhere. In the middle of the ring Max struggles- fights- tries to make the ropes- but Dan's grip is locked in, and Max has no choice but to tap out. *DING DING DING* BUFFER The winners of the match and still HI-YAH Tag Team Champions- Dan Black and T.Bod- BLLLLLLLLACK TEE! Dan won't let go of the hold, and Max Anderson is fading into unconsciousness. COLE C'mon, you won the match, let the guy go! CABOOSE Dan's getting his revenge for that attack with the mic. This is totally fair. *DING DING DING DING DING* CABOOSE Yeah, because a bell will make him change his mind. Max is now out cold, as more referees run from the back. T.Bod has other ideas, and grabs a chair which keeps the officials on the outside. At last Dan lets Max go- but only so T.Bod can slam him in the back with the chair. Black and T.Bod laugh and shake. COACH This is just wrong. Someone do something. As if on cue (surely not?) LOS INFERNALES run down the ailse. Black T pause only to grab their title belts as they scatter. Poet and Dandy jump on the ropes, daring Black T back into the ring, but the HI-YAH champs merely exit with JR, smirking. COLE Well, the Docs put up another strong challenge, and only Max Anderson's lack of concentration- COACH -and JR's BUTT- COLE -cost them the match. Thank goodness for Los Infernales. Black T are clearly afraid of Poet and Dandy as we approach World Without End and their big grudge match. CABOOSE Give me a break. Black T just wrestled a surprisingly tough match. Los Infernales need to keep their noses out of Black T's business, or they're going to find them broken. That's twice tonight they've been a thorn in the side of the HI-YAH champs. Something has to be done. COLE It will be, and I can't wait to see the Infernales give Black T what they deserve. Let's go somewhere else! (Fade out) *Black. The Phenom's face is the only visable thing seen.* tP: The past year, I have searched the world over for a challenge worthy of me. The last time I've felt that feeling was 11 years ago, when I attacked the Prime Minister of Portugal. I went easy on him. But when I take over the OAOAST, you best be looking out for number one. Who is number one? That's me, The Phenom. And if you deny that, I'll...see...you...in...hell! *White Stripes' 'Seven Nation Army' plays* The Phenom is coming. Be ready. (Fade out)

BUFFER The Road to the Elimination Chamber continues with this matchup, which is scheduled for ONE FALL! *DING! DING! DING!* BUFFER Coming down to the ring first, being accompanied by Leah Blackstone - hailing from Houston, Texas and weighing in at 210 pounds - he is the current OAOAST X-Division champion! Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome THE BLLLUUUURRRRRRRICAAAANNNNE! “Higher Ground” by the Red Hot Chili Peppers starts to blast over the loudspeakers as the Blurricane flies out from the stage amdist a huge display of fireworks and pyro sparks. With the X-Title strapped around his waist and a black cape blowing behind him, the Blurricane poses for the crowd at the top of the ramp. Once he walks down to ringside, he climbs up the ring stairs and slings himself over the top rope and into the ring. He slowly unstraps his title belt from around his waist and hands it over to the referee. He gives the crowd a corny Thumbs-Up, before his entrance music is interrupted by the loud sounds of A3. Woke Up This Morning Got Yourself A Gun Mama Always Said You’d Be The Chosen One BUFFER And his opponent - hailing from Brooklyn, New York and weighing in at 225 pounds - he is the self-proclaimed “World’s Greatest Athlete!” Folks, please welcome the former OAOAST Italian Champion…….DRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEK STOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNE!!! Drek Stone slowly walks out to the top of the ramp, receiving a massive amount of boos in return. With determination in his eyes, he slowly makes his walk down to ringside, not wanting to take his look away from The Blurricane. After walking into the ring, he breaks his glance for a moment to arrogantly pose for a crowd that just isn’t willing to show him any love. He walks to the center of the ring and calmly pounds his chest, sending off pyro blasts from the four corners of the ring. He then turns his attention back to the Blurricane. COLE Folks, I can not stress enough just how important this match is! Look at the stakes here. If Drek Stone does not get a pin or a submission victory here, he is officially out of the tournament. If the Blurricane doesn’t get any win whatsoever, he’s as good as dead in the Round Robin tournament as well. Both these men will want to win this match desperately. CABOOSE Can you imagine a Pay-Per-View highlighted by the Blurricane in the Main Event? I don’t even know if I’d wish that torture on Coach. COLE Well, we can be very close to seeing that. This match could decide so much in this tournament. Drek Stone looks at the Blurricane with an unwavering look of intensity, which he shoots right back. Blurricane then extends his arm out for a handshake, which surprises a fair number of fans in the crowd. Drek gives him a confused glance for a moment, but then hesitantly outstretches his hand. The two men shake for a moment - until Drek suddenly pulls him forward for a clothesline. The Blurricane ducks it, but wraps Drek up in a rollup. ONE! Kickout, and both men pop up. COACH Look at Drek Stone. He can’t even shake hands with someone without trying to cheat first. Drek immediately runs forward at the Blurricane, but is quickly brought down to the mat with a hiptoss. Drek gets back up and runs at him once again, but is brought down with another hiptoss. Once he stands back up, Blurricane extends his arm again for a handshake, almost mocking Stone. Drek, continuing to get angrier at the beginning moments of this matchup, runs at the Blurricane again but, like before, the attack is ducked. Drek stops short of hitting the corner, but turns around and rapidly gets dropkicked into the turnbuckle! The Blurricane immediately moves up and traps Drek in the corner by planting his feet near the middle turnbuckle. He then starts to punch Drek in the forehead triumphantly, letting the crowd chant along. One! Two! Three! Four! Five! CABOOSE So Philly fans CAN count to five. You learn new things everyday. Six! Seven! Eight! Nine! At nine, Drek suddenly traps Rick in a power bomb position and begins running out of the corner. Blurricane slides forward, over Drek’s shoulder, and brings him down into a sunset flip on the way down. ONE! TWO! THR- NO! Drek forces his way out of the move! He then rolls to the outside of the ring, clearly frustrated over how this match is going. He spots Leah Blackstone cheering for her man in the ring, and angrily stomps over to her to end her shrill cheering. COLE Come on! There’s no reason to bother her! She’s not the one wrestling Drek! But the Blurricane, seeing what Drek is about to do, bounces off the ropes…..AND JUMPS OVER THE TOP WITH A SOMERSAULT PLANCHA ONTO DREK STONE! “Blurricane! Blurricane!” The fans respond with a loud chorus of cheers as the Blurricane picks Drek up and rolls him into the ring. Drek immediately tries using the ropes to pull himself back up, but Blurricane is waiting with a stinging chop! “WOOOOOOOO!” He steps back up and sends another chop! “WOOOOOOOO!” COACH There’s no way the Blurricane wants to walk out of here without a win! He just seems to be all over Drek Stone tonight! The Blurricane then grabs Drek by his arm and irish whips him into the corner. Drek hits the turnbuckle chest-first and staggers back as a result. Blurricane runs forward for a followup move, but Drek suddenly turns around and brings him down with a VICIOUS clothesline! CABOOSE I’m shocked. Once again, you manage to put your foot in your mouth. Following the move, Drek knowingly smiles at the fans who boo him in return. He gets up and begins laying in nasty stomps to the head and shoulders of the Blurricane. Out of the corner of his eye, Drek spots Leah Blackstone loudly screaming for the Blurricane yet again. Once again, Drek chooses to slide out of the ring and confront her. She starts moving away from him nervously, but Drek continues to stalk her around the ring. Blurricane, noticing what’s going on, moves over to the ropes near Drek Stone. He then jumps over the top rope with a cross body plancha - but Drek steps out of the way! Blurricane lands face-first onto the arena floor! CABOOSE Like Drek Stone would be dumb enough to fall for that all over again. These guys just can’t seem to realize just how much smarter Drek is than they are. COACH Smarter?! CABOOSE Sure, by definition. Don’t you know the guy’s an Italian? With a scowl, Drek yanks Blurricane off the floor by his hair. He grabs his arm and gives the Blurricane a nasty irish-whip into the ring barricade. Blurricane screams upon impact, which sounds like music to Drek’s ears. He moves Blurricane away from the barrier, then quickly stands behind him. He yanks his head back and sets him up in a reverse DDT position. But Drek then lifts the Blurricane up over his head….and DROPS HIM WITH A REVERSE SUPLEX, SENDING HIM CHEST-FIRST INTO THE RINGSIDE BARRICADE! Blurricane remains in this position, gasping for air, as a “Drek Stone Sucks!” chat starts to break out among the capacity crowd. COLE He had to have broken a rib there, if not something else! What a nasty fall! Drek then steps back and gives a hard kick to the Blurricane’s jaw, sending him off the barricade and onto the floor near the crowd. Leah comes over and begins screaming in Drek’s ear, but he stops that by giving her a hard shove down to the floor. “BOOOOOOOOOOO!“ Leah, with a look of disgust on her face, backs away from Drek as he shoots her a cold glance. COLE Oh, that is just disgusting! CABOOSE She shouldn’t even be near the ring! Don’t blame him! Let her go in the back and do the Blurricane’s laundry or something, but get her the hell out of here. COACH Boose, I can see just why you’re so popular with the ladies. Hearing the referee’s threats for a double countout, Drek rolls into the ring and stands up proudly, receiving a loud negative reaction in return. Meanwhile, after feeling the effects of the suplex for a few moments, the Blurricane finally manages to summon the energy to make his way back up and roll over the barricade, falling back near ringside. Drek, seeing this, steps out onto the ring apron to capitalize. He takes a moment to arrogantly pound his chest for the crowd, then jumps off the apron with a leg drop across the Blurricane’s throat! He flashes a smug smile to the audience as the Blurricane rolls around the floor, wildly clutching at his neck. Drek then picks up the noticeably wounded Blurricane and throws him into the ring. CABOOSE Now this is what you call a massacre. I haven’t seen a beating this bad since Kerry whipped Bush in their first debate. COACH Oh, a heated political reference. Just watch the Conservative Brigade reaction at TSM now! CABOOSE What the hell is TSM? Drek slowly steps in after him, and watches as the Blurricane moves onto his hands and knees to try to rise up. Drek quickly dashes foreard, jumps up, and drives both knees across the spine of the Blurricane! Keeping his knees on the Blurricane’s back, Drek pulls back both his head and his feet and falls backward, locking the Blurricane into a bow-and-arrow submission! The Blurricane screams in pain and tries to twitch out of the move, but Drek locks it in even tighter! The building slowly begins to boom with a chant of “Blurricane! Blurricane!” as Leah urges the fans to stand up and applaud. Looking for any advantage, the Blurricane moves his hand near Drek’s mouth, but Drek snaps his teeth forward, almost biting the Blurricane’s fingers off! COLE The human body should NOT be bending at that angle! How much more can the Blurricane take?! CABOOSE It doesn’t matter. This thing is just seconds from being over. The Blurricane lets out another pained yell, but he just refuses to give up. The move remains locked on for nearly a minute, but Blurricane will absolutely not tap out. Finally, Drek releases the hold with rage in his eyes, furious that the Blurricane would not submit. He quickly pulls the Blurricane back up by the back of his head and hits him with a European Uppercut across the jaw. Blurricane staggers back, but is met with yet another HARD European Uppercut on the chin. This second uppercut sends him back into the corner. Drek, looking ready to finish this off, charges at a prone Blurricane….and gets a surprise kick to the face in return! COACH Don’t count the Blurricane out! He is STILL in this match! Drek staggers back for a moment, but then charges forward at the Blurricane once again. This time, the Blurricane jumps up and catches Drek’s head between his legs in a headscissors position. Blurricane then rotates out of the corner and brings Drek to the mat with a spinning huricarana! COLE As technically proficient as Drek Stone may be, the Blurricane is just that much better when it comes to speedy aerial attacks. That could make the difference in this matchup! The fans loudly cheer as both men hit the mat. After a few minutes of recuperating, both men slowly start to rise. The Blurricane is slowly massaging his neck, trying to get some feeling back, while Drek is doing his best to shake the cobwebs out of his head. Finally, once they’re both up, Drek charges at the Blurricane first. Spotting Drek coming right at him, the Blurricane surprises him by bringing him down with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Drek clutches at his spine after the move, so he can’t stop the Blurricane from shooting himself off the ropes and jumping onto Drek’s body with a senton splash! He stays on for the cover! ONE… TWO…. Kickout! Drek tries making it back to his feet quickly, but only manages to get to his knees before the Blurricane traps him from behind in a waistlock. He then forces Drek to stand, but suddenly brings him back with a bridging German Suplex! The referee drops for the count. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Drek uses the strengthin his legs to power out of the move. CABOOSE Drek, you CANNOT let the Blurricane win this thing! If you want that title match, you NEED to win here! Get back into this thing! The Blurricane pops back up to his feet, ready for another attack, but he sees Drek still sitting there on his hands and knees, trying to calm himself. Blurricane then quickly puts both his hands underneath Drek’s jaw and pulls him up. He rapidly jumps up and brings Drek down with another huricarana! This time, Blurricane attempts to roll up his legs for a pinfall…..but Drek reverses the momentum and PINS THE BLURRICANE’S SHOULDERS DOWN! ONE!!!! TWO!!!! NO!! KICKOUT!! COLE Drek Stone was ONE second away!! CABOOSE So close. So close! The Blurricane just managed to get out of that pinning predicament at the last moment. Both men are relatively quick at making it back to their feet. Blurricane tries to take Drek off his feet with a spinning heel kick, but Drek ducks the foot. He then kicks the Blurricane in the stomach and sets him up for the Stonecutter!! HE JUMPS UP….. BUT BLURRICANE PLANTS HIS FEET BACK ON THE GROUND! He gives Drek his own kick to the midsection, then plants a hand around his throat! Blurricane lifts him up - AND DROPS HIM WITH A CHOKESLAM! COACH CHOKESLAM!! CHOKESLAM!! The crowd lets out a loud roar as the Blurricane drops down for the cover! ONE!! TWO!! KICKOUT!! Drek Stone JUST kicked out of that pin! The audience lets out a loud, audible groan as the Blurricane rolls off Drek with a tired look on his face. CABOOSE Yes! Yes! I don’t understand this! What the hell could these fans be booing about?! I mean, we might actually have the opportunity to see Hoff and Drek Stone wrestle in November! You CAN’T get much better than that! You can’t! COACH I get the sinking feeling we’re getting closer to an orgasm at every passing minute. The Blurricane moves over to a nearby corner and waits for Drek to sit up, looking ready to finally hit him with the Shining Wizard! After a few moments of struggling, Drek finally manages to get to his knees. The Blurricane runs forward……JUMPS UP FOR A SHINING WIZARD…….BUT DREK DUCKS OUT OF THE WAY! The Blurricane goes sailing over his head and to the mat, clearly surprised at Drek’s reversal. Meanwhile, Drek gets up woozily, trying to take advantage of this chance. The referee goes over to check on the Blurricane, so he doesn’t see Leah Blackstone inching her way up the apron. Curling her fist into a ball, she shoots her arm up AND GIVES DREK STONE A HARD UPPERCUT TO THE TESTICLES! COLE Leah Blackstone GETTING HER REVENGE FOR THAT SHOVE EARLIER!! CABOOSE OH NO!!! NO!!!! Drek staggers forward in absolute pain, letting the Blurricane wrap him up in a tight small package!! ONE!!! TWO!! THREE!!! NO!! KICKOUT!! KICKOUT!! Drek Stone kicked out right at the last moment! COACH What a close near fall! The fans let out a LOUD groan as both Leah and the Blurricane are in complete shock over that countout. The Blurricane moves over to the opposite corner again, awaiting Drek Stone to stand up. After a few moments, Drek does finally get to his feet near a corner post. The Blurricane runs at him with an avalanche splash - but Drek Stone moves! The Blurricane goes sailing right into the turnbuckles, with the momentum of the missed move sending him backwards. Drek quickly locks his arms behind him in a full-nelson position - AND BRINGS HIM DOWN WITH A DRAGON SUPLEX!! COLE THE RECKER! CABOOSE IT’S OVER!! IT HAS TO BE!! ONE!!! TWO!!! THREE!!!!! *DING! DING! DING!* The fans let out a loud series of jeers as the referee raises Drek Stone’s hand, much to the anger of these Philly fans. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner…..DRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEK STOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNE!!! Once again, the fans continue to boo as Drek Stone rolls out of the ring and starts walking back up the ramp with a calm grin across his face. COLE Well, with that win, it’s now official. The Blurricane is officially eliminated from winning this tournament - but Drek Stone still has a chance. COACH That’s right. The winner of this Round Robin now hinges on the Panther/Mad Cappa matchup. If The Mad Cappa manages to win that matchup, he officially wins the tournament. Panther will need a submission win to at least remain in this tournament. CABOOSE This is way too much stress. I can’t believe how close we are to seeing Drek Stone officially get what he deserves - a Pay-Per-View title shot in November! COLE Well, just as a reminder, let’s look at the current point-tally. POINTS: Drek Stone: 7 The Mad Cappa: 6 The Blurricane: 6 Gunner Sharps: 5 Panther: 4 Leon Rodez: 4 COACH Drek Stone is currently in first place! But it might not be for long! We’ll see later tonight with Panther taking on The Mad Cappa. (Go to break)

The STEEL CAGE LOWERS from the rafters. Close-up of FOUR HANDCUFFS shackled to the cage walls. COACH Oh, baby! The Coach is lookin' forward to this one. COLE The tag titles are on the line! Those of you who saw Dirty Deeds know Hell's Hitmen were screwed out of the tag team titles -- as much as I am a GPX fan, the Hitmen were dominating them once again -- when the New New Midnight Express attacked them just as they were about to finish off the Global Party XChange, resulting in a DQ victory for Hell's Hitmen. OAOAST promoters were quick to sign a rematch between these two, this time inside a steel cage. The cage is capped by a roof, so nobody will be able to get inside. Imagine the possibilites. If one man gets cuffed early, it could be 2-on-1. There won't be a referee inside the ring, only outside to declare a winner. CABOOSE Not only did Hell's Hitmen win their match at Dirty Deeds, but that makes them 2-0 against against them. Hell's Hitmen have a big psychological advantage over GPX. Both times they've met Hell's Hitmen have dominated, as you said. BUFFER The following contest on HeldDown is the House of Pain match for the OAOAST tag team championship. To win, one team must shackle both of their opponents to the cage. At this time would you please welcome the guest commentators, followed to the ring by the Farmer of Champions, Jivin' J.R., they are the HI-YAH International tag team champions, Black T! COLE "Quiet," the theme song of Black T, is nearly drowned out by chants of "INFERNALES" -- Spanish for Inferno, and reference to Los Infernales, the team Black T will meet at World Without End, Halloween night. Look at the smug look on their faces. And look at J.R. Poor J.R. He thinks Dan & T-Bod are his friends, even though they constantly make fun of him, and couldn't care less about him. The price for recognition. CABOOSE J.R. has been making an ass out of himself for years now. At least he's turned it into a moneymaker. Black T approach SOFA CENTRAL~! and shake hands with Caboose only. They put on their headsets. T-BOD We like you. The other two guys suck. CABOOSE Yes! Tell me about it. BUFFER (CONT'D) Now, introducing the challengers, from the Depths of Hell, weighing a combine 787 pounds, Jingus & The Sadist, Hell's Hitmen! "Hit Me Verdi One More Time" hits and Hell's Hitmen are on their way to the ring. The sight of two huge men in straitjackets, one wearing a mask (Jingus), scare many of the children ringside. JINGUS & The Sadist grunt as they easily step over the top rope. The Hitmen gently stroke the cage walls, particularly The Sadist, who grinds his hands against the cage with a big grin. COLE How are you guys feeling as we near World Without End? DAN That's the stupidest question I've ever heard, Cole. COLE Then what are your thoughts about your match later tonight? T-BOD That's the second straight stupid question we've ever heard. In fact, don't ask anymore questions. Black T pull Michael Cole out of his seat and throw him to the floor. They tell Jivin' J.R. to take over. J.R. looks like he's having an orgasm putting the headset on. J.R. Hello again, everybody. I'm good ol' J.R., back where I belong in the broadcast booth, and welcome to HeldDown. We're gonna have a real slobberknocker coming up next -- the tag titles will be defended in a House of Pain cage match. He gets paid big money, but is rarely used, our esteem colleague Jesse "The Body" Ventura is standing by in the locker room area with the OAOAST tag team champions, the Global Party XChange. Jesse. The old school keeps-a comin' with the interview being conducted in front of blue lockers...with pay phone feet away! Scotty Static & Johnny "Jam" Jackson sit on a bench, rubbing their tag titles, looking upbeat and excited, as usual. VENTURA You're welcome J.R. I'm here with the "men" who'll momentarily defend the OAOAST tag team championship against Hell's Hitmen! I'm talkin' about the Global Party XChange. JOHNNY Jesse, Jesse, Jesse, Jesse! VENTURA That's my name. JOHNNY I know your name, dawg, but the XChange is feeling negative vibes from "The Body." VENTURA I'm pumped up about the House of Pain. SCOTTY You gotta excuse my main man, Johnny "Jam". You see, the GPX, along with P. Diddy, have been cross country gettin' the word out about the importance of voting. VENTURA You tryin' to influence the election? Who are you, Bruce Springsteen? SCOTTY No, just wantin' the youth to know how important it is to vote. VENTURA (scoffs) If the youth is anything like you guys, people will be wishing for George W. But enough of my political commentary. SCOTTY We loved your MSNBC show. Too bad it got canned like Freaks & Geeks. VENTURA Anyway, let's get to an issue that matters to us all -- the OAOAST tag team championship. Teams from all over the globe have been contacting the OAOAST in hopes of gettin' a title shot, but in about 45 seconds you'll be facing a team you have yet to beat, and a team you've wrestled poorly against, in Hell's Hitmen. JOHNNY Mr. V, Saturday night the GPX experienced something that changed our lives forever. VENTURA Forever, ever? SCOTTY The days of our life forever, ever, ever, ever. JOHNNY The GPX visited Dollywood. It's a beautiful Saturday afternoon, the sun is beaming like a ray of light, we're havin' a blast on all the rides, then that sunshine turned into darkness. I could no longer see the light. I got on my knees and looked up to the heavens... Dolly Parton's massive boobies blocked out the sun! We couldn't believe our eyes. There, right in front of us, is Dolly freakin' Parton! We talked to her for a while, but you know what the great part was? She let us touch her boobs! And we had a quasi-religious experience. As we placed our left hand on her bosom, we felt the power of Dollymania runnin' through our veins, man. As the power overcame us, we began trembling, dude, the power was so intense on the left side of our bodies I took my right hand out of my zipper and placed it on her other boob to ease the force, bro. I looked into her eyes and told her we'd be facing Hell's Hitmen on HeldDown~! and in her sweet Southern accent she said, "Do you want to go all the way?" Yes, we wanna go all the way! Then she told us we must go out there and no matter what forces of nature we'd come across to always remember the power of Dollymania & all the investors of the Party XChange will overcome all, man. And GPX will do just that. So whatcha gonna do, Hell's Hitmen, when Dollymania & the power of the Party XChange investors runs wild on you? Whatcha gonna do? Jesse just stares at Johnny as he showcases an array of poses. VENTURA He ain't no bodybuilder, I tell you that. You better go take your vitamins, say your prayers and enject some antibioticsteriods. JIM CORNETTE appears in the background, getting on the pay phone. All 3 men stare at Cornette until he realizes he's being watched. CORNETTE What, you haven't seen a man make a phone call before? GPX ignore Cornette's comments. SCOTTY What J. "Jam" Jackson was sayin', we know the critics write about we can't the Hitmen, they dominate us, yada, yada, yada, but what nobody talks about is how we keep fightin' to our last breath. At LTP: TAO we bleed buckets as the Hitmen took it took us. They be big, they be bad, but we never quit. In the background, Jim Cornette hangs up the phone and walks towards Jesse & GPX shaking his head. CORNETTE I'm sorry, I just couldn't help but overhear that nonsense spewing out of your mouths. And it isn't your bad breath. Scotty & Johnny stand up. CORNETTE (CONT'D) It's fitting that GPX & Hell's Hitmen are facing each other in Philadelphia, since they're both garbage. But let's talk about a team people actually give a damn about-- the New New Midnight Express. Maybe you've heard about the challenge the Midnights issued to you guys? You know, the challenge you haven't responded to yet. Seeing that we're all here, why don't you let me know your answer, say, oh, I don't know...right now! I know you're ducking the New New Midnight Express, even though we saved your titles at Dirty Deeds, but a simple yes or no is all I ask. JOHNNY We ain't duckin' no one, bro. The Global Party XChange has been, well, global, dude. We've defended our belts in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, Japan, Tokyo, and we set to kick some tail and take names against the biggest and baddest dudes in the OAOAST, Hell's Hitmen. So recoginze, beeyotch! CORNETTE I'd like to recall you to your mother's womb, you uneducated "beeyotch". But don't worry kid, I'll take it easy on ya since your partner's from Atlanta. I'm not surprised neither one of you acknowledge the fact the New New Midnight Express saved your cute litte butts at Dirty Deeds. Or did that just happened to slip your coked out mind? JOHNNY Look Pillsbury Doughboy, nobody saved us, a-right? We already gots to worry about the Hitmen, and you ain't Milton Bradley or a Parker Brother, so we don't have time to play games. CORNETTE Oh, you can't handle the truth? Look... JOHNNY We's-a lookin'. And all we see is an asshole. Want a banana? SCOTTY Zing~! Minus 1 for hitting below the waist. JOHNNY He ain't got nothin' below. SCOTTY Zing~! Minus another point. CORNETTE Boy, you guys are so witty you ought be on MadTV. Yes or no. Which is it? SCOTTY You want an answer? In a world full of posers, phonies, and pure wannabees, there finally emerges a group which has come to set the record straight. so, all you suckers better recognize, ya heard can you say uhhh na na na na... The music cues up, meaning the interview is about to wrap up. GPX become more and more agressive towards Cornette, who takes a few steps back. CORNETTE (Gulp) Now that I think about, if you need another week or two, please, be my guest. I'm in no hurry, but they might be. THE NEW NEW MIDNIGHT EXPRESS ATTACK GPX with BASEBALL BATS! The Global Party XChange are thrown against the lockers, then have the locker doors slamed across their heads. "Narcissistic" Ned shoves Scotty inside the locker and slams the door. Jim Cornette hands Blanchard a combination LOCK. They locked Scotty Static inside the locker! CABOOSE It's like 12th grade all over again for Scotty. "Sarcastic" Simon Singleton bashes Johnny over the skull with the tag title, then holds him up as "Narcissistic" Ned pummels him with body shots. Ned gets in a karate stance then superkicks J.J. in the midsection, doubling him over, allowing Simon to set him up for a piledriver. But not just any piledriver. No, no. But a SPIKE PILEDRIVER THRU THE BENCH~! J.R. As God is my witness, he's broken in half! Ooh, the colors. Ned throws a piece of the shattered bench on Johnny, then joins his partner and Jim Cornette in exiting the locker room area. As we cut back to the ring, Hell's Hitmen aren't sure what to do as "Make Her Say" by O-Town continues blaring in the arena. Jivin' J.R. is mesmerize by the flickering strobe lights. It's almost like he's remembering the first time he saw Danny Hodge wrestle and is in awe -- of the lights. T-BOD The Jivester is a V.S.P. COACH A what? DAN Very Special Person. He lives in his own special world -- Jivelivia. COACH Jivelivia? DAN Absolutely. Population: All the hosses in the world. That's where Nathan Jones lives now. J.R. I tell ya, "King," that Nathan Jones is a real hoss. A real hoss, I say. T-BOD Come down, J.R. Jerry isn't here. You're on HeldDown, remember? J.R. HeldDown, HeldDown, HeldDown! We're as live as live can be. DAN You must excuse Mr. Jive, he had too much sugar in his cereal this morning. J.R. I was developing diabetes! Diabetes! Diabetes! COACH Good you for, J.R. Good for you. J.R. Right on, my brother! What the hell-- THE MUSES -- that's right, THE MUSES -- enter the cage. And they're getting their asses kicked by Hell's Hitmen. The Hitmen dominating The Muses with vicious power moves. TORTURE RACK BACKBREAKER on Logan Mann. Jingus with the CLAW SLAM on Tiffany Tutu, Ruru, whatever, he has a girl's man. James E. Cornette is waddling to the ring, his New New Midnight Express right behind him. The Midnights are armed with BASEBALL BATS. Referee Scott Armstrong tries to prevent Cornette from opening the cage door, but Cornette blasts him with the TENNIS RACKET. Now the Midnights are in the ring, and they're beating Hell's Hitmen like a government mule with those baseball bats. The Muses join the action, helping the NNMX beat up the Hitmen. DOUBLE DDT! The Muses with the double DDT. Why Muses why? CABOOSE A little rebellion from the Muses. J.R. The Midnights whip The Sadist to the ropes. FLAPJACK. And I want a pancake. Simon climbs to the top while the Muses help Ned lift Sadist up for the SLINGSHOT SUPLEX. Wham, bam, thank you Miss Piggy for last night! "Narcissistic" Ned has Sadist set for the Vegomatic, that leaning bearhug maneuver, Cornette places the ball bat across Sadist's throat. "Sarcastic" Simon off the top... THE VEGOMATIC~! "Sarcastic" Simon Singleton came off the top with his patented flying legdrop, made famous by "Beautiful" Bobby Eaton. The crowd ERUPTS. J.R. STONE COLD! STONE COLD! STONE COLD! I mean, GPX! GPX! GPX! The Global Party XChange charge the ring carrying 2x4s. The Muses greet GPX outside the cage, and for their trouble they get whacked across the midsection with the 2x4. Now it the Midnights turn to meet and greet GPX as they enter the cage, but they share the same fate as the Muses, getting hammered with the 2x4s. Johnny with the BEAT DROP on "Narcissistic" Ned. GPX throw Simon into the cage wall, leaving them all alone with Jim Cornette. James E. cowers in the corner, no place to go. WHAM! To the delight of the crowd, Scotty pops Cornette in the face with a big right hand. J.J. drops to one knee, placing his 2x4 on it. Scotty ATOMIC DROPS Cornette on the 2x4. Bug-eyed, Cornette falls facefirst to the canvas, holding what's left of his groin. GPX & Hell's Hitmen get face-to-face. My God, look at the size difference. Scotty & Johnny look like Oompa Loompas. They have more guts than brains. Black T have both, folks. They're exchanging blows. And I'm talking about punches, not Tommy Rich types of blows either. Both members of GPX duck clothesline, bounce off the ropes and connect with SPIN-WHEEL KICKS. The Hitmen are knocked off their feet! Scotty heads to the top, while Johnny runs across the ring. STATIC SHOCK~! Johnny with a SPRINGBOARD MOONSAULT. They simultaneously excuted high-risk maneuvers on the fallen Hitmen. T-BOD We gotta get in on this. DAN Excuse us, gentlemen. J.R. Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye! Black T, along with Jivin' J.R., drop their headsets and head to the ring. GPX await Black T near the cage door, daring them to come inside. But LOS INFERNALES catch Black T climbing up the ring steps. The two teams that'll meet Halloween night at World Without End brawl around ringside before taking it into the crowd. Jivin' J.R. slips on the floor after a fan threw a beer at him. CABOOSE It's like OAOAST Towers two years ago. Except these guys aren't in suits. The action becomes hot and heavy inside the ring. The NNMX clotheslined GPX with the baseball bats they (NNMX) brought to the ring, then handcuff GPX to the cage. Simon & Ned pound their fists into the foreheads of Scotty Static & Johnny "Jam" Jackson, drawing blood from both men. Jim Cornette rams the handle of the tennis racket into Scotty's throat. The Midnights tee off on GPX, repeatedly swinging the bats across their midsections. Cornette asks Simon & Ned if he can get another shot at GPX. They agree. Cornette proceeds to bash the living daylights out of Scotty & Johnny's skull with that loaded racket. Jim Cornette shares a manly hug with "Sarcastic" Simon. "Narcissistic" Ned, feeling left out on the love, joins the duo in a real man's man embrace. As Corny, Simon & Ned continue to share the love Hell's Hitmen hit the DOUBLE COCONUT -- or in this case, triple coconut. Corny & the Midnights flop to various parts of the ring. The Hitmen's hands are so big, they were able to smash all 3 men's heads together. JINGUS & The Sadist MILITARY PRESS "Narcissistic" Ned against the ROOF OF THE CAGE, then slam him to the mat. The Hitmen have Singleton set for VIYA CON DIOS (Go with God powerbomb/clothesline combo). The Sadist's is so tall, he has to duck down to avoid hitting his head on the cage's roof, but connects with a perfect flying clothesline, as JINGUS finishes the powerbomb on Simon. JINGUS calls for the GANSO BOMBS. Sadist works over Ned in the corner while JINGUS places Simon's head between his legs. At the left hand corner of the screen, Jim Cornette can be seen POURING something on a TOWEL. Cornette wraps the towel over JINGUS' face. The big man swings wildly but Cornette has the towel firmly planted over JINGUS' face. Singleton chop blocks the Devilman, dropping him to one knee. The Sadist comes over to help his partner, but Simon & Ned tackle him to the mat. CABOOSE Smoky mountain lives! That's ETHER! COACH Who's Ester? CABOOSE Ether, you idiot. That stuffs knocks you out. COACH But I thought only women can get knocked up. CABOOSE It's puts you to sleep, dumbass. JINGUS is out cold. The NNMX hold Sadist down, allowing James E. to place that towel over his face. The Sadist squirms around before passing out. Jim Cornette pulls out a roll of DUCT TAPE. The NNMX place Sadist's arms behind his back and begin wrapping the tape around his upper body. They're TAPING up the Sadist's STRAITJACKET. The same straitjackets he, along with JINGUS, have been wearing ever since the NNMX attacked them months ago. Speaking of JINGUS, they're not done with JINGUS. Cornette places his tennis racket in the center of the ring -- SPIKE PILEDRIVER ON THE RACKET. Followed by the ROCKET LAUNCHER. "Sarcastic" Simon & "Narcissistic" Ned HANDCUFF JINGUS to the CAGE, then REMOVE JINGUS' MASK! The Devilman keeps his head lowered, so we can't get a good shot of his face, although he appears to be severely scared. Jim Cornette places a HOOD over JINGUS' head. "Narcissistic" Ned has the RACKET, "Sarcastic" Simon the BAT, and they absolutely CLOBBER JINGUS. CABOOSE This...This is amazing. There's been a lot of talk over the domination Hell's Hitmen have over GPX, but tonight they're the ones being dominated. Never have I, or anybody I know, seen the type of brutality exhibited by the New New Midnight Express. And they're still not done. FLYING LEGDROP on The Sadist courtesy of "Sarcastic" Simon. Jim Cornette has something in his hand...A TINY PIECE OF RAZOR BLADE! COACH No way. Don't tell me he's... CABOOSE Holy sh-- I think he is. Cornette DIGS THE BLADE DEEP INTO THE SADIST'S FOREHEAD! Luckily for The Sadist's, he can't feel a thing. The NNMX watch with sinister smiles on their faces. OAOAST cameras are finally able to capture a shot of what Jim Cornette carved into the forehead of The Sadist -- "MX". COACH They carved "MX" into his forehead! Damn, that's pretty extreme whichever way you cut it -- no pun intended. CABOOSE It's fitting that all this occured in Philly. Chants of "ECW" irk Jim Cornette, but not enough to keep him from joining the NNMX in spit on Hell's Hitmen & the Global Party XChange, as they raise their arms in victory, holding up JINGUS' mask. The blood is oozing out of The Sadist's forehead like a waterfall. COACH I cannot believe the New New Midnight Express have destroyed Hell's Hitmen once again. I'd hate to be the guy who's in the ring when they uncuff JINGUS. We gotta go to break. Stay with us. Damn! OAOAST WORLD WITHOUT END OCOTBER 31st COLE Fans, Michael Cole back with you, and what a chaotic mess we witnessed. If you just joined us... CABOOSE You're goddamn stupid for missing all this crazy sh-- COLE (CONT'D) We were scheduled to have a tag title match between GPX & Hell's Hitmen inside the House of Pain cage, but before the match could even take place the New New Midnight Express jumped GPX as they were giving an interview to Jesse "The Body" Ventura, then the Muses hit the ring and were easily manhandled by Hell's Hitmen. The NNMX came out and really took it to the monsters from the Depths of Hell, only to have GPX rush out from the back and retaliate for the ambush they received at the hands of the NNMX. Then all hell broke lose. Black T, who were here as guest commentators, even though they hardly said anything, attemped to get involved, bringing out their opponents for World Without End, Los Infernales. They brawled all over the place, while the Midnights renewed their assault on GPX & Hell's Hitmen. Jim Cornette used ether to knock out Hell's Hitmen, leading to him carve "MX" on the Sadist's forehead. But that's not all, folks. During the break our cameras filmed this. Take a look at it. DURING!BREAK OAOAST officials uncuff JINGUS from the cage -- GPX were already uncuffed and are being attended to by EMTs in the ring. JINGUS goes nuts. Throwing officials into the cage, CLAW SLAMMING a female EMT, and GANSO BOMBING another. If that wasn't enough, The Sadist sits up and starts kicking some ass of his own. TRIPLE POWERBOMBING agent Terry Funk. GPX try to calm the situation but The Sadist delivers a BIG BOOT to the jaw of Scotty Static, while JINGUS CLAM SLAMS Johnny "Jam." Hell's Hitmen exit the cage to a thunderous ovation. (Go backstage) The scene opens on a shot of the Thrillogy locker room. Zack and Candie are sitting on a loveseat, curled up together, while Calvin is sitting on a folding chair, talking on his cell phone. The #1 contender, Hoff, is again pacing the floor. CALVIN ...That's right, Jimmy, five on the Patriots. *pause* What, are you kidding me? THAT'S the spread? Sh*t, throw down a thousand, I got cash to burn. Calvin salivates over his wagering. Suddenly, Hoff stops pacing abruptly and turns to the group. HOFF Guys, I need you to stay away from Crystal for awhile. Zack raises his eyebrows, his mouth opening slightly in shock. Calvin's jaw drops before he hastily ends his call. CALVIN Hoff, NO! ZACK Hoff... CALVIN Come on! We can take her out! Play her punk card! Hit her with a chair... Hoff shakes his head as Calvin pantomimes swinging a chair. Zack looks on with a less-than-pleased expression. HOFF Listen. I know that you'd both like nothing better than to pop her in the kneecaps, and frankly, I would too. But this is something I have to do. This is...I mean, I have to prove that I'm not a fluke! ZACK Hoff... CALVIN H, big man, listen to yourself! You're the Emperor of Death, you're the baddest man out there, you're-- HOFF I'm not playing, Cal! Calvin holds his tounge as Hoff continues. HOFF Listen. Cal, you said it yourself last week. You've been here before. You know how good you are. I don't. I may have won last week, but Crystal was right...I got lucky. I don't know how good I am, or how good I can be, and I'm not gonna know unless I test myself! So I want to go in to World Without End against a fresh World Champion. Not for her sake...for mine. Zack glowers, but Calvin nods. HOFF This is something I have to do. The Thrillogy has been the greatest thing to ever happen to my career, but...I gotta do this alone. I have to know. I HAVE to. Hoff lowrs his head, looking almost spent. Zack keeps his gaze dark...but Calvin pats the big man on the shoulder. CALVIN All right, buddy. If it means that much to you. I won't lay a hand on her, and I know Zack is with you too. And...if it makes you feel any better, I do understand. A lot of people said I'd never be the World Champion. Calvin smiles, sympathetically, as Hoff nods. Calvin gives Hoff another reassuring pat, before heading out the door, flipping his cell phone open. CALVIN Jimmy? Yeah, sorry about that. Something came up... Calvin exits, the door swinging closed behind him. Hoff keeps his head down, and doesn't even notice Zack getting up and walking over to where he's standing. ZACK So. You want to do this on your own. Hoff looks up, solemnly nodding his head. Zack turns away, blinking, before looking back. ZACK After all that we've done for you. HOFF Zack, I-- ZACK Look, Hoff. I took you into this group, under my wing, because I saw something special in you. I think that you could be a great champion, one day. Hoff looks taken aback by Zack's words. ZACK But what you have to understand, is that we have to look out for each other, and what's in the best interest of the group, you understand? Hoff looks at the floor, mulling over his words, then looks back at Malibu. HOFF ...yeah. I understand. But do you? This is something I have to do. For me. Zack sets his jaw and looks Hoff in the eye. ZACK So that's how it's gonna be. Well, fine. You do what you have to do. But I'll tell you this much: Crystal was right. You better damn sure wrestle better than you did last week, or you're going to make not just yourself look bad, but us. Zack motions to Candie, and takes the bombshell's hand, brushing past Hoff and heading out the door. Hoff looks over his shoulder as they leave, then turns his head back, looking down at the floor. *cut to Sofa Central* COACH Whoa! COLE Definitely a little friction in the Thrillogy locker room! CABOOSE Well hey, Zack's got a lot on his mind, so does Hoff, there's bound to be some tension! COACH I dunno, I think it goes deeper than that. CABOOSE You can barely think as it is, creamsicle. COACH Ooh! I wish I HAD a creamsicle! Yum! CABOOSE ...argh. I'm flabbergasted. COACH Hi, Flabbergasted, I'm the Coach, pleased to meetcha! CABOOSE GAH!! Just leave me alone! Caboose smacks Coach in the face, and the two engage in a slapfight as Cole turns away slowly. COLE Right...in any event, we've still got more action ahead!

(Return from break) "Bound for the Floor" kicks in over the arena speakers as Chris Stevens makes his way to the ring to a mostly positive reaction. COLE Chris Stevens! Haven't seen him in a couple of weeks! COACH Well we DID see him last week...sorta! CABOOSE Chris Stevens and Phoenix -- and I'm not saying I like either of them -- but they were out here having a nice little match, and all of a sudden, they're cut off by Sly Sommers and Yoshi Kamikaze-- COLE Yuji Chusaki. CABOOSE Whatever. In any case, I found it rude and offensive! COLE Caboose, we needed to bring our fans that great match, and it just happened to fall on Stevens' time slot! COACH Well, he doesn't look too happy right now! Stevens slides into the ring and asks for a mic. He walks to the center of the squared circle, surveying the crowd with some evident disdain on his kisser. STEVENS If I could have your attention for a moment, there's something that needs to be said. The crowd quiets down. COACH Sounds important! Stevens clears his throat before continuing. STEVENS Now, I know that wrestling fans have about as good a memory as a goldfish, but let me refresh everyone that last month, we had a pay-per-view called Dirty Deeds, and at that pay-per view, I beat a man named Hoff... "YEEEEAAAAHH!!" STEVENS And in case you didn't quite make the connection, that's the same Hoff who'll be fighting for the World Championship on October 31st. The fans boo as Stevens shakes his head. COLE That match of course will be at World Without End. CABOOSE You dirty shill. STEVENS Now, maybe I'm crazy, but that doesn't make a lot of sense to me. I beat Hoff soundly in the middle of the ring, and because he got a fluke pin on Crystal, suddenly he gets the shot? "STEV-ENS" "STEV-ENS" "STEV-ENS" STEVENS JUST SHUT UP A MINUTE!! The fans murmur at Stevens' sudden outburst. COACH Whoa! COLE What was that? Stevens takes a deep breath before continuing. STEVENS You know, you people are all idiots. "BOOOOOO" COLE Stevens is getting on the fans here! COACH And the fans are getting on Stevens! STEVENS Don't deny it. You people are spoon-fed everything by this company, and now you actually believe that that oaf could be a credible world title contender. Yet a guy like me, a truly gifted wrestler, where was I? Well, I was nowhere to be seen, because creative decided they had "nothing for me to do." Stevens grimaces as he says the words. STEVENS Let me tell you about another guy for whom creative had "nothing to do." His name is Jay Richards, but you probably all fondly remember him as "Crazy Vampire." A buzz passes through the crowd at the mention of CV. CABOOSE Who? COACH You know...the guy... CABOOSE Oh, yeah. STEVENS Jay is one of the best workers I've ever met, and when this company hired him I was thrilled. And what happened? The brain trust saddled him with a lame-ass gimmick, and when that didn't work, they dumped him on his ass with some pathetic skit that I regret ever being a part of. Jay was and now once again is one of the top workers in Japan. Total matches he had in the OAOAST? Zero. Stevens shakes his head again, looking disgusted. STEVENS But you don't care about great workers, do you? No, no, you want to see spot machines doing all sorts of cool flips and trips. The kind of stuff that'll get you killed. Out of all of Japan, this company brings you Sly Sommers and the dismal HI-YAH promotion. I spit on Sly Sommers, and I piss on the HI-YAH promotion. The crowd TEARS INTO Stevens now, booing him out of the building as he actually SPITS on the mat. COLE I don't get this! CABOOSE I think he's tired of being treated like dirt! COLE He hasn't been treated poorly! CABOOSE That's what YOU say, company man! COLE Oh, geez. Stevens looks out at the crowd with venom in the eyes. STEVENS You people cheer Sly Sommers because he looks good. You cheer him because he pulls off impressive moves. But last week, there were two guys out here who aren't as impressive, or maybe as charming. Two guys who certainly don't pander to you halfwits. But these two guys were putting on a clinic for you. Phoenix and I were wrestling our hearts out, and you all changed the channel. Now, I admit -- you had the channel changed for you. But given this audience, you'd have changed it anyway. "BOOOOOOOO" "YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!" STEVENS Phoenix is one of the few guys from Mexico who does more than leap around like a speed freak, and he's relegated to lying on his back for the so-called superstars! Chris Stevens is a man who can wrestle rings around anyone, but instead of getting my due, I lose it to a guy like Sly Sommers! Rest assured, if I had the spot that Sly Sommers had...you would all have no choice but to respect me for the truly great wrestler I am. CABOOSE You know, I think he's right! I mean, Chris Stevens is a hell of a wrestler...and I'm starting to like him more and more! STEVENS But since, before today, I've never been about bitching, and since I've said my piece, what I'd like to do is call Phoenix out here to restart our match. The fans are abuzz, then suddenly cheering as Phoenix's theme song plays. The smaller, masked grappler comes to the ring, high-fiving the fans. COLE Well I guess we're gonna get our match started again! CABOOSE Well hell yeah! All right! Phoenix slides into the ring under the bottom rope, then hops onto the second strand and plays to the crowd before turning back to Stevens. Phoenix asks for the mic, and Stevens hands it to him. COLE Phoenix is gonna say something! COACH Are jobbers allowed to speak? CABOOSE It's a good thing this isn't Star Trek, that's all I have to say, or Ensign Ricky here would be in trouble. The crowd quiets as Phoenix raises the mic. PHOENIX Chris, I appreciate you calling me out here to finish our match from last week. The fans go NUT for those simple words! Phoenix continues in a moderately heavy Latino accent. PHOENIX I also want to thank you for the kind words about my ability and my style, because I pride myself on that. But Chris, one thing I also pride myself on is my respect for the fans. The fans pop HUGE. Stevens looks a bit taken aback. PHOENIX I know I might not be the top guy, here in the OAOAST, but I still love to come out and perform for these people! Stevens' eyes go wide, and Phoenix nods-- and suddenly BOTH men are cut off as the AngleTron lights up! (Cut to the OAOAST Control Center, where Josh Matthews is standing by, again in front of the Japanese flag background with "OAOAST" written in the red circle on the flag.) JOSH Yo and hello...welcome to the OAOAST Control Center! Once again, I'm here to update you guys on the OAOAST Invasion of the Rising Sun, as Sly Sommers and Gibraltar have been over there for the past couple of weeks. (Switch to Camera 2, close-up of Josh's upper torso, with an over-the-shoulder with match action going on in it) JOSH Last week, we brought you live-to-tape footage of Sly Sommers' unfortunate unsuccessful attempt to wrestle the HI-YAH Jr. Heavyweight Title away from current champion Yuji Chusaki in a tremendous bout, full of high-paced action. Since then, the two have formed a sort of bond overseas, teaming in two bouts on the tour. (Josh voiceovers full-screen match footage) JOSH On Saturday in Ryogoku, Sly and Yuji defeated Big Japan's Ryuji Ito and MEN'S Teioh in 16:54, when Sly locked in the cross-face chicken wing on Ito. Sunday night, Sly lost to Ito at a Big Japan show in the same city, as Sly was out of his element against the current Big Japan Deathmatch Champion. But, Sly came back with a vengeance on Monday, going over Dakisuke Muchaki in 24:35 with a Cut Day that he then rolled into a cross-face chicken wing. After a day's break, Sly finished off his tour of duty overseas, going 53:33 in an absolutely incredible six-man Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Summit, teaming with Yuji Chusaki and The Great Bukkake to defeat Muchaki, Masa Takiyoko, and Lucha star El Drunko, who's rumored to be a bit "Spyder-like", scoring the winning fall over Takiyoko with a top rope USA High Angle 2k4 Backdrop. (Cut back to up-and-center Camera One) JOSH As for Gibraltar...well, after seeing him destroy Japanese Dojo boys in a couple of matches, the folks at the HUSTLE promotion became intrigued with our giant, as they immediately sent out contacts for him. Thanks to large monetary donations to our promotion, the OAOAST were quick to sell his contract to HUSTLE, who are rumored to be debuting him on their next show as an overgrown fetus monster. (Cut to Camera 2, with a "World Without End" logo in the over-the-shoulder box) JOSH Congratulations to both...well, at least Sly, for representing our promotion well overseas, and may your trip back to the States this weekend be safe and sound. Speaking of people coming overseas, HI-YAH Jr. Heavyweight Champion Yuji Chusaki will be making his American debut at World Without End, as he will face a contender deemed worthy to go for his belt by the OAOAST Board of Directors. The B.O.D. have come up with a decision to determine a contender for the champion... (Josh now is voice-overing random footage of the Bryants and Tetherses wrestling) JOSH Next week, the Bryants and Tetherses will continue their feud on HeldDOWN~!...but it won't be in just any tag team bout. Next week, the two teams will collide in an elimination tag bout, meaning that you must score a fall over both team members to defeat them. Whoever scores the final pinfall for their team wins the title shot at World Without End! (Cut back to Camera One) JOSH Remember next week: Sly Sommers comes back to American soil, plus a tag team elimination bout to determine who will go after the HI-YAH Junior Heavyweight Title at World Without End! See you then! (Cut back) The image on the Tron fades, and the cameras cut back to the ring, where Phoenix and Chris Stevens both stand watching. Suddenly, Stevens' eyes flash in anger...and he attacks Phoenix from behind!! "BOOOOOOOO" COLE Aw, come on! He didn't do anything! Stevens hits Phoenix with a blow from behind, knocking him onto his knees. Stevens immediately stomps at Phoenix, sending the luchadore onto his stomach, clutching at his ribs. As Phoenix begins to collect himself, Stevens slides out of the ring and grabs a folding chair from ringside! COLE No, come on now Chris, don't do this! COACH We've seen him use a chair a few times before guys! COLE Yeah, but...I mean, Phoenix didn't do this! He's innocent! CABOOSE Well he's about to pay for someone else's crimes! Phoenix slowly gets to his hands and knees as Stevens slides into the ring, wielding the chair. Stevens pops to his feet, and as Phoneix gets to his... *WHAM* Stevens NAILS Phoenix in the head and shoulders with the chair, sending Phoenix sprawling down from behind! Stevens looks down, shaking his head as he lifts the chair again... *WHAM* Stevens brings the chair down across Phoenix's back to a thunderous chorus of boos, and the smaller man lies still as Stevens flings the chair down. Stevens exits the ring and walks up the ramp, looking disdainfully at the jeering masses. COLE Well Chris Stevens made his presence felt tonight, but why did he do what he did to Phoenix? COACH Stevens was out of line tonight, guys. CABOOSE Yes he was. Yes, he was, and brother I liked it. COLE You're sick. Let's just go to something else, I dunno. Caboose is a sick sick bastard. (We go backstage where Tiffany Ruutu and Holly-Wood are chatting in an empty locker room. Tiffany is wearing the suit Alix forces him to wear.) TIFFANY Let da Synth-a-nator get dis straight, Alix n Krista, dey gotta legal right ova us? HOLLY-WOOD Basically. TIFFANY How dat possible? How dat happen? HOLLY-WOOD (in a harsher then usual tone.) It happened when you challenged them to an Almost Famous match. Or more specifically, when you accepted the Muse stipulation. TIFFANY Damn. HOLLY-WOOD When you signed across the dotted line, you gave away the right to your wrestling characters. They belong to Alix and Krista. TIFFANY (slamming his hand against his forehead) Fuck dat! HOLLY-WOOD But don’t worry. I came up with a solution. I wanted to get a lawyer and battle this out in court, but Arista wouldn’t pay for one. So I went to plan B. I got the board of directors to grant me a match with Alix at Worlds Without End, with the stipulation that if I won, The Saints and all their rights, wrestling and music, would return to Arista Records. TIFFANY Pimp hard, girl! HOLLY-WOOD Not so fast. There’s a catch. Two catches. TIFFANY Two? HOLLY-WOOD If I lose. And I won’t. But if I do, you are the sole property of Chicks Over Dicks. They can do whatever they want with you. TIFFANY Wut da other catch, eh? HOLLY-WOOD It’s a Trick or Treat match. TIFFANY Wut dat? HOLLY-WOOD The only way Alix would agree to the match is if she got to pick what type of match it was. She wanted a Trick or Treat match. It starts out normal, with the exception of costumes, I have to wear a costume, but at the five minute mark a stipulation is added. At the ten minute mark another stipulation is added. The match can’t end until two stipulations have been added. At the twenty minute mark another one will be added and it’ll go on like that for every ten minutes until the match has ended. TIFFANY Dat crazy! Tell ‘em ta fuck off! HOLLY-WOOD What the fuck are you complaining about? You’re not the one who has to do it. I am. I have to clean up your mess so just fuck off. TIFFANY (trying to lighten the mood) Gotta wear a costume, eh? HOLLY-WOOD Yeah. Where’s Logan? He should probably hear this also. (Logan storms into the room) LOGAN Logan’s heard the whole thing! We’re not slaves! You can’t barter us like baseball cards! We have a choice of who we want to be with! HOLLY-WOOD No you don’t. You’re property. Like a car, a chair a table or a TV. This is a property dispute. Property doesn’t get a say in the matter. I’m sorry. LOGAN Property? I’m not any one’s fucking property! Do you understand me? I’m a human being! We both are! We’re not going back to prostituting ourselves for Arista! We have integrity! HOLLY-WOOD Really? You fooled me. Because last I checked, you were bitches for wrestling's answer to Designing Women. Doesn't sound like you have much integrity to worry about. And prostituting yourself? Listen hear you ungrateful shit head. Almost every week, I fight a life and death battle to stop the record label from dropping you. You have done nothing for the label but shame them with embarrassment and regret. Entertainment Weekly asked the question, and this is a quote "What's a worse wrestling to music crossover? Macho Man's rap CD? WWE Originals or The Saints? Answer; the Saints, because at least the Macho Man and those on Originals are good at wrestling!” That is a direct quote. And yet I’m here sticking up for you and putting my ass on the line against Alix. But if you continue to pop off like that to me, you both can go back to Vegas and fend for yourselves. See if I care. TIFFANY Synth got much love for ya. Big thanks. (Tiffany shoves Logan aside and pats Holly on the back. HUGE MISTAKE. Tiffany arises Holly’s anger and in one liquid smooth motion she whips out a knife and presses it against his neck. Blood creeps out from a thin cut and spills onto the metal blade. Holly starts to huff as if she had just run a marathon. Her body shakes like she was the sole recipient of an earthquake.) HOLLY-WOOD BACK OFF! TIFFANY (sweating bullets, his eyes nervously dart around the room.) Woah. Easy. Easy. (Holly pulls the knife away from Synth’s neck. He breathes a sigh of relief, as she just stares at the floor. She continues to huff, with a vacant look on her face) HOLLY-WOOD Sorry. When people touch me...I get....I don’t know...I...I...can’t explain it. I don’t like it. LOGAN How are you going to wrestle a match? HOLLY-WOOD I’ll wear gloves. I don’t know. (Holly walks out of the room, rubbing her hands together as if the temperature dropped forty degrees.) (Back to the arena)

(What’s that we here? Excuse me. I mean What’s that we hear? Why its none other then Young Buck’s “Let me in”! That must mean its time for Cruisin’ or Bruisin’. Or is it? We open to the professional and slightly futuristic set. Coach and Caboose are dressed to impress.) COACH Young ass playas, I guess we filthy rich. What’s going on, home skillets! Welcome to Gangsta or Wanksta... (Caboose groans) COACH You lost the coin toss, dude. Get over it! Fans this is the hard hitting show that brings you all the hot action from around the tag team division! Plus gives you an in depth profile on some of our coolest teams. This week, we take a look at the champs...Global Party Xchange! Boo tang clan, Gangsta or Wanksta? CABOOSE GPX is Gangsta. COACH Graphics! CABOOSE They’re gangsta because they’re the champs. They are the top team in the division and everyone and their mother is gunning for them. They’ve got the top of the line teams like Black T, The Midnights and Hell’s Hitmen on their back and even middle of the pack groups like The Tethers and the Love Doctors keeping an eye on them. They may not be the best team in the division, that distinction goes to Black T, but they are the most important. COACH What would you say is their biggest strength? Their speed? Their resiliency? CABOOSE They’re a great team. And I mean that in the most literal sense of the word. I don’t quite know how to explain this, but when they’re in the ring...let me collect my thoughts. What am I trying to say? It’s almost as if, they’re one cohesive unit. Not to knock this tag team because they’re very good, but look at Chicks Over Dicks. They have probably the best record in the tag team division at about Twelve wins and two losses. But when they wrestle, it’s just Alix Spezia and Krista Isadora Duncan wrestling together. When GPX wrestles, it’s not Johnny Jackson and Scotty Static wrestling, it’s GPX wrestling. Almost like they mesh together and form some sort of super duo. The connection these two share...its amazing. They are the ultimate team. COACH And you still say they aren’t the best team? CABOOSE That’s Black T. But we’ll talk about them another day. COACH What’s GPX’s weakness, Boo tang clan? CABOOSE Hell’s Hitmen! COACH That ain’t good. CABOOSE No it’s not. GPX has to face the Hitmen in a cage match tonight! Everytime these two teams face, the Hitmen overwhelm GPX with their size and strength. Johnny and Scotty are winless against the Hitmen and I don’t think it will change tonight. COACH Any advice for GPX? Not for tonight’s match but in general. CABOOSE Focus on the task at hand. Too often GPX gets caught up in the entertainment part of sports entertainment. They want to glad hand with the fans, kiss the babies and smooch the babes. The way I see it, they neglect to keep their eye on the prize. They get over confident or their mind starts wandering to things that have nothing to do with wrestling. When that happens they make mistakes. They can also never think of themselves as a great team. When they think of themselves as great, they’ll stop working. When they stop working, that’s when its all over. COACH BRWWAAP! BRWWAP! CABOOSE What the hell is wrong with you!? Are you choking? Quick get a medic! COACH That’s the COACHCALL. We’re outta time. Be back in two weeks! (Fade out) We cut backstage, where The Dark One, Axel, is picking himself up off the ground. Lifting his head up, he reveals a gash on his forehead, dripping blood, and shaking up his equilibrium. Axel nearly falls over, but catches himself on the catering table, knocking a ton of food over in the process. Thankfully Ragdoll, Axel's good friend, comes over to aid his ally. RAGDOLL What happened? Who did this to you? AXEL I...I dunno...never saw... Axel slumps down, half out of it. It's very possible he's suffered a concussion. RAGDOLL GET ME SOME HELP OVER HERE! GET ME SOME...HEY! HEY! Ragdoll sets his friend down on the floor and goes running through the backstage area, catching up to someone and diving onto their back, forcing them to the ground. He rolls the person over and starts hammering on him, and it's shown to be none other than Zack Malibu! RAGDOLL YOU SONUVABITCH! CAN'T FIGHT FACE TO FACE!? Malibu covers up, trying to deflect the onslaught, until a herd of trainers, officials, and wrestlers come and pry Ragdoll away. Malibu gets up and dusts himself off, still in shock. MALIBU WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!? RAGDOLL You tried to take him out! I saw you! MALIBU Saw me what? Are you back on the sauce, kid? Peer pressure getting to you maybe? Incensed by the verbal low blow, Ragdoll tries to break free, but Malibu steps back and snickers as he watches everyone restrain Ragdoll. RAGDOLL I'll get you, Malibu! I'll beat your ass myself tonight if I have to! MALIBU Oooooh, I'm shaking. Junkie. After that snap, Malibu turns and continues on, leaving a VERY angry Ragdoll to try and break free from the OAOAST staff, as we fade out. (Go to break)

Simply being loved is more then enough. Yeah. Yeah.

Philadelphia PA on ya'll playa fakin' bitches.

The show'll be up any minute now! Just waiting on a few things.

Go ahead and send one to me and I'll put it on tomorrow night's show. For the record you don't have to ask for a promo slot or anything like that you can just send something in.

Ms.Crys has two days to show up in this thread. Once those two days are up it becomes MINE!

Did none of you tools get the Endgame reference?

Shut up, all of you.

Actually this is an okay idea. I don't think we need a new folder though. We could just pin a thread with links to the top three OAOAST shows. Now we have to determine what are the top three OAOAST shows!

This reminds me of something that happened in the year 2000. Undertaker was bitching to Mick Foley that Kurt Angle was a coward so he called Kurt "yellow". Mick had no idea what "yellow" meant and he held this goofy look on his face while there was an awkward silence in the arena. Eventually Undertaker had to explain that yellow meant afraid. Mick Foley was dumb. More later. Feedback that is. Not Undertaker. It's a short show so you have no excuse not to feedback it.

Imposshibible! You two are dead. My bomb killed you. All that remains is me, my loyal son, Clov and my dad who I keep in a trash can.

I got it. That’s what I get. I get jokes. And pussy. Jokes and pussy. That’s what I get. Hell yeah! I’m the crunkest Color Kid on the block! Nice show. I see WWE is getting a better build up then Dirty Deeds. That’s good. That’s also because I created a booking thread at the start of the month. No need to thank me comrades. Eski always creates interesting referees. Aside from that the feud with NNMX/HH is heating up as well as LI/Black T. I assume SpiderPoet and El Dandy are only temporary members of the tag team division. The six man match was electrifying. Lots of good drama and quality near falls. With only two points, is Leon Rodez incapable of winning the tournament? I think we know what side of the spacing argument NYU is on. That was an interesting revelation from Father. What an evil bastard! I would’ve ended the show with that, but I had already promised the main event to Hoff. Like Tony said, its good to see Hoff get his shot and its nice to see he did it in such a nice little match. The commentary was very insightful and gave a look at to what strategy the wrestlers needed to use. The Sly Vs Yuji match was a swell ball with lots of cool moves. I mark for the tilt-a-whirl tombstone piledriver. Zack continues to act like a lunatic both in storylines and in real life. I fear for my safety.

Oh my.

Hey you! Malibu! Leave feedback! I'm watching you.....

Cruisin or Bruisin will undergo a name change and profile the tag team champs, GPX. Unless Tony or Eski want to request a team to be profiled.

(We open on a shot of Father’s mansion, the one where Blurricane was a servant last year. We then cut inside where JAE and Cain are talking with Father, but he seems preoccupied.) J. ARTHUR Are you even listening to us? This is the time in which we should fight back and crush Justice Inc.! When we’re done with them we can crush Williams and Horn as well! CAIN I can’t believe you’re not even the slightest bit interested! *Father walks over to a chair and sits down with a look of pain on his face and begins coughing.* J. ARTHUR What’s the matter with you!? Did Rick beat your ass to hard? FATHER James…shut up and let me talk for a second. There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you. *Father looks pained again as he pulls out a case and opens it. Inside is a syringe.* FATHER A few months ago I became violently ill and the doctors told me that as a result of the radical genetic experiments I was conducting on myself that I was dying. *JAE and Cain look shocked.* FATHER However, another doctor who has been doing similar experiments offered me a serum he had made. As long as I continually take it I’ll be fine. Atleast that’s what he told me, but the serum is beginning to not work anymore. J. ARTHUR Why didn’t you tell me!? FATHER I knew you would make a bigger deal out of it than it is. J. ARTHUR You don’t find this to be a big deal!? FATHER I’m old James. Maybe my time has come, but I haven’t told you the good part. It seems that I’m not the only one who will be affected. *Father laughs* J. ARTHUR You mean…? FATHER All of the clones and anyone else I did experiments on will be affected as well. Rick, Jude, and all the clones will soon become ill as I have. If I’m going to die atleast I’m taking company with me. CAIN That’s pretty messed up. J. ARTHUR We’ll find another cure. You don’t have to die! FATHER What would you do if you found that cure? Would you give it to the others as well? I’m capable of letting them die, but I doubt you are that cold. J. ARTHUR Yeah, I have to admit I don’t think even I could let that happen. FATHER Then don’t look for the cure. Let me have this one last gift on my way out of knowing Rick is sharing my fate. CAIN You’ve lost your mind. J. ARTHUR Robert the illness is getting to your head…you can’t be serious. FATHER Oh I am serious. If you are planning on getting in my way then you’ll find I’m still strong enough and powerful enough to hurt you in many different ways. (JAE and Cain back off slowly as Father looks crazed almost as he injects himself with the serum. We fade out on Father’s sweaty, grinning face.) (To the arena) COLE Fans, welcome back to HeldDOWN, and it is now time for our main event of the evening. COACH Aw, yeah, boy, and the arena has been buzzin' about this one all night! Hoff versus Crystal! COLE And for the first time, assuming Hoff keeps his word, these two extremely talented grapplers will face each other one fall, to a finish, with no outside interference. CABOOSE Please, Michael, Hoff will hold his end of the bargain, because he wants this as bad as anyone else. COLE Folks, if you missed last week, Hoff laid out a challenge to the World Champion for a match tonight, and if he wins, he gets her again at World Without End, this time for the title! COACH Well what you don't mention is mah girl attacking Hoff's manhood. CABOOSE Hoff's a guy with a lot of pride, and a lot to prove in the OAOAST. This should be a hell of a matchup. COLE It could well be a classic. And, in that spirit, folks, Coach and Caboose have agreed not to bicker or play favorites tonight. CABOOSE Now, you either, Cole. COLE Oh no, I wouldn't dare take away from this one. COACH This could be the start of a whole new thing for us, guys. CABOOSE Absolutely. Ring announcer Tony Chimel takes the mic. CHIMEL Ladies and gentlemen, the following non-title contest is scheduled to one fall! The lights go down in the arena and Sevendust's "Black" kicks in to a round of boos. CABOOSE THERE HE IS!! THE NEXT HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD!! COLE ..... COACH Unbelievable. Hoff steps out onto the stage, looking fairly serious as he surveys the crowd. CHIMEL Making his way down the aisle, from Minneapolis, Minnesota, weighing in at 275 pounds...HOFF!! Hoff makes his way down the aisle, keeping his head down. COACH Hoff looks as focused as I've ever seen him. CABOOSE Absolutely, Coach, Hoff is 100% ready for this matchup. Hitting the ring, Hoff slides in under the bottom rope, forgoing his usual turnbuckle salute and stretching in one corner. COLE A more subdued Hoff tonight. COACH Well we saw, in ths Thrillogy's locker room, Hoff's empassioned plea to let this match go, no matter what happens! CABOOSE I think it's important to Hoff to prove Crystal wrong. To show that he can compete with the best. "Black" fades out, replaced by "Set it Off" as the crowd gets to its feet!! COLE Well here comes one of the best now! Crystal steps onto the stage, smiling as the crowd welcomes her with a HUGE ovation!! CHIMEL And his opponent, from Coquitlam, British Columbia, weighing in at 138 pounds, the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion.....CRYSTAL!!! The fans chant "CRYS-TAL CRYS-TAL" as the champion makes her way down the aisle. COACH Not just ONE of the best, Mikey...THE best! The World Champion! CABOOSE Well, she is the champion, no one can argue that, but as to being the best... Crystal slaps hands with some fans on the ramp, before turning to look down Hoff, her smile fading. COLE Caboose, even you have to admit, she's had some great matches, and she's beat the best! Zack, Calvin, Sly Sommers, Drek Stone... CABOOSE Now let's not go bringing my close personal friend Drek into this. I give you, she's been impressive. But she's still a woman, in a man's sport, and-- COACH Caboose, come on! We've got the top female talent in the world, and she has proven countless times that she belongs! CABOOSE We'll see. Let's just say she still has to prove heself to me. Crystal climbs up the ring steps, then climbs the ropes while still on the apron, hoisting the World Championship high into the air. Crystal hops down off the ropes, landing in-ring and waving the fans to their feet for a second time, as Hoff looks on from the opposite corner. Crystal turns to the referee, handing him her championship belt. The ref simply hands it to the timekeeper as Crystal takes off her trenchcoat. COLE That says it all. The official not raising the belt into the air, because this isn't for the World Championship -- just an opportunity. CABOOSE That's the key word, Cole -- "opportunity." Hoff has been here for eleven months. He's a two-time 24/7 titleholder, he's the Emperor of Death, and you know how many title shots he's had? COLE Zero. CABOOSE There ya go. Crystal stretches in her corner, testing the flexibility of the ring ropes as the referee checks Hoff's tights and boots for illegal objects. COACH Yeah, but Caboose, it's like Crystal said! Hoff has to earn those opportunities. CABOOSE Well, if that resume doesn't earn you a title shot, I don't know what should, but it doesn't matter anyway because I have a feeling, a feeling, that Hoff will get it done tonight. COLE That remains to be seen. The referee checks Crystal's tights and boots as Hoff stands waiting in his corner. COLE These two have met a couple times before, but we have yet to have a clear winner. Hopefully tonight we'll get one! The ref nods to Crystal, then steps back, looks at both combatants, and calls for the bell! *ding ding ding* The fans cheer as Crystal and Hoff begin to circle each other! COACH Here we go! Hoff shakes out his wrist as the two circle. Crystal takes a few quick steps, possibly looking for a go-behind, but Hoff turns his body and steps away. COLE We know that Hoff and Crystal don't like each other, but do we look for a technical contest, or a brawl? CABOOSE Well, with Hoff, it can be a little bit of both. He's maybe not a master technician, but certainly very skilled, but he's also got his power, which can manifest itself in the form of big power moves, wear-down holds, or straight-up street brawling. Crystal darts in, looking for a double-leg takedown, but Hoff sidesteps and the pair keep circling, changing direction. CABOOSE Now, Crystal, if she wants to beat Hoff, she needs to use her speed and her superior technical knowledge, and just general knowledge of the body. Crystal needs to take Hoff down quick and slap on hold after hold, apply some pressure, and weaken Hoff. The big man's power is the best part of his game, and if Crystal can make some muscles sore, she's in business. Hoff quickly lunges, looking for a collar-and-elbow tie up, but Crystal ducks under him, and spins back to face him. The two lock eyes for a moment, then once again begin to circle each other, pacing the ring and looking for an opening. CABOOSE What's more important is for Crystal to take it to Hoff. He's still relatively inexperienced, he hasn't been in many big-match scenarios, and if she can win a few exchanges early on, she may be able to throw Hoff off his game. COLE Good insight by-- CABOOSE I doubt that'll happen, though. Hoff is just too strong, and he knows it. He won't be afraid of some little girl. COACH Oh, lord. COLE Nice to see your bias show through. That "little girl" is our champion. CABOOSE For now. Hoff lunges again, looking for another tie-up, but Crystal again ducks. As Hoff turns, Crystal quickly spins and grabs Hoff's head, cinching in a side headlock. The fans applaud as Crystal pulls back on the hold, but Hoff is quick to grab her back and shove her off of him, into the ropes. Crystal comes back off, and runs right into a shoulder block from Hoff, sending her down to the mat. Crystal quickly spins back to one knee, looking up at Hoff, who smiles thinly. CABOOSE See? That is the face, the very picture of confidence right there. He's not worried and neither am I! COACH Well if Hoff thinks he can shoulderblock his way to victory he's wrong. COLE Hell, he's a bigger fool than you are, Coach! COACH Yeah! ...hey....hey! Coach pouts as Crystal stands back up, rolling her neck. The two again circle breifly before meeting in the middle of the ring in a collar-and-elbow tie up. Hoff pushes Crystal back a step, but the champion quickly slips away, darting behind Hoff and applying a hammerlock! The fans cheer as Hoff grits his teeth while Crystal twists his arm! Hoff looks back, then takea step forward before twisting around, freeing his arm and attempting a variation of the short-arm clothesline! But Crystal ducks, and twirls around Hoff, catching him from behind in a schoolboy rollup! The referee makes the count, but Hoff kicks out at two! Crystal gets up and waits for Hoff, who gets to HIS knee, then to his feet, shooting Crystal a dark glare. COLE Nice quickness by Crystal! And the fans love it! "CRYS-TAL" "CRYS-TAL" "CRYS-TAL" Crystal and Hoff lock up again, and again the champions slips free, returning to the arm. Crystal grabs Hoff's left arm and twists it into an armwringer, doubling Hoff over. Crystal spins, torquing the joints of Hoff's left arm around. Hoff grabs at his shoulder as Crystal jerks the arm back down. Crystal tries to wring the arm out again, but as she turns, Hoff pulls his arm free! Crystal tries to grab the arm again, but Hoff ducks under her reach and grabs her from behind. Hoff lifts Crystal up, and drops her in an amateur-style takedown, then moves to her head and slaps on a side headlock. COLE Nice counter by Hoff! Hoff lies on the mat as Crystal is trapped on her stomach. Hoff cinches in the headlock, but Crystal fights to her knees. Hoff looks back, and tightens the hold, but again, Crystal slips out the back door, and quickly jumps on Hoff with another hammerlock! The fans applaud the escape as Crystal drives a knee into Hoff's shoulder joint. COLE Crystal is looking awfully smooth tonight! COACH She's slippery! COLE ..... COACH You know, because she keeps escaping! COLE Uh-huh. CABOOSE You two are dumb. Hoff fights back to his feet with the hammerlock still applied. He twists, slipping free, then falls to his knees and takes Crystal over his shoulders with a fireman's carry! Crystal hits the mat, and Hoff immediately slaps on a rear chinlock, kneeling behind the champion. Crystal wastes no time fighting back up, though. The champ fires off an elbow to Hoff's midsection, and another, and another, and Hoff breaks the hold! With Hoff slightly doubled over, Crystal hits him with a snapmare, and Hoff hits the mat! Crystal grabs his left arm, and again slaps on a hammerlock! COLE We saw Chris Stevens work over Hoff's right arm, his stronger arm, and that worked, but Crystal's trying the more conventional approach! Hoff yells in pain as Crystal turns the hammerlock into almost a top wristlock, bending Hoff's arm all the way above his head. Hoff, slowly, fights up to his feet, and turns his body, slipping out of the hold. Hoff lunges at Crystal, but the champ turns and catches him in a side headlock, and throws him back down with a headlock takeover! Crystal keeps the headlock applied, but Hoff gets back to his feet, and he throws an elbow of his own to Crystal's ribs! The champion buckles, and Hoff quickly slides behind her, lifting her up and dropping her in a backdrop suplex! Both competitors lie on the mat, collecting themselves. COACH This has been some good wrestling! CABOOSE Dynamite drop-in, Marty. COACH .....who? Hoff beats Crystal to her feet, and grabs the champ as she gets back up in a front face lock. Hoff tightens down on the hold, but Crystal pushes him back into the corner. Hoff keeps the hold applied, and the referee calls for the break, and Hoff gives it. Crystal steps back, then steps toward Hoff, but Hoff quickly spins her into the turnbuckle and rocks her with a big right hand! Crystal reels, then quickly spins Hoff around! Crystal rears back and lets Hoff have it with a big knife-edge chop! "WOOOOOOOOO!!" Hoff reels back, and Crystal shops him again, and again, and again! "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Hoff's chest glows beet red, and Crystal grabs his arm, whipping him out of the corner, but Hoff reverses and sends Crystal to the opposite buckle! Hoff charges in, looking for a stinger splash, but Crystal moves, and Hoff eats the buckle! Hoff stutters backwards, and Crystal quickly rolls him up, but only gets a two! Hoff gets back to his feet, walking right into another chop from Crystal. Hoff stutters back, and Crystal seizes the opportunity by jumping onto Hoff's shoulders and snapping him over with a hurricanrana!! "CRYS-TAL!" "CRYS-TAL!" "CRYS-TAL!" Hoff goes flying acorss the ring. Crystal crawls over to make another cover, but again, Hoff gets out at two. Crystal waits for the big man to get to his feet, then catches him with a dropsault, sending Hoff back into the corner. Crystal charges in, and SPEARS Hoff against the buckle! Hoff doubles over, holding his ribs, but Crystal drags him out by the hair! Crystal grabs Hoff, and takes him down with a Russian leg sweep! The cover by Crystal! ONE TWO NO! Hoff gets out at the last second. COACH So far, guys, this has been all Crystal! Not surprising! CABOOSE Quiet, you. Crystal waits for Hoff to find his feet. The champion grabs Hoff fron behind, but Hoff quickly elbows backwards, hitting Crystal in the face to a loud jeer from the crowd. Crystal breaks the waistlock, and Hoff spins around, looking for a clothesline, but Crystal grabs the arm and leaps, catching Hoff in a crucifix pin! ONE TWO KICKOUT! Hoff rolls out of the pinning predicament, hitting his feet as Crystal springs back to hers. Both charge, and Crystal again ducks a clothesline, and rolls Hoff up from behind with a Momo clutch! ONE! TWO! THRNO!~!! COLE She ALMOST had him beat! CABOOSE Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades, Cole. Hoff barely gets free, and Crystal is already on her feet by the time he reaches his knees. Hoff slaps the mat in frustration, drawing a reaction from the crowd. COACH Uh-oh, Hoff's getting angry! COLE This match really has been dominated by the champion! CABOOSE Well, either way, an angry Hoff is not what Crystal wants right here. Hoff gets up and glares at Crystal, who waves him on to a big pop! Hoff moves in, slowly, and grabs Crystal in another tie-up, pushing her back to the ropes. The ref calls for the break, and Hoff gives it...before shoving the ref away and charging at Crystal with a clothesline! But Crystal DUCKS! COACH Oh, man. Guys, she just plain has his number. CABOOSE Hoff is not looking himself tonight, either. Hoff spins around, and Crystal chops him again! "WOOOOOOOOO!" Crystal grabs Hoff, whipping him out of the corner, but again, Hoff reverses. Crystal hits the opposite buckle, and Hoff charges in, but Crystal catches him with a back elbow! Hoff stumbles away, turning his body, and allowing Crystal to hop onto the second rope! Crystal, holding the top rope, reaches with her legs, and grabs Hoff's shoulders from behind! Before Hoff knows what's happening, Crystal jumps off the top rope and rolls forward into a victory roll! But Hoff blocks her momentum, and ends up on top of her! Hoff kneels on Crystal's shoulders, and the champion FLAILS to get out as the ref makes the count!!! ONE! TWO! THREE!! *ding ding ding ding ding* COLE WHAT?! COACH Oh my God!! CABOOSE He got her!!! The crowd buzzes as Hof rolls off of Crystal, and gets to his feet, smiling!! CHIMEL Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this contest...HOFF!! CABOOSE I can't believe it! He got her! HE DID IT!!! COACH Unreal! Hoff, grinning from ear to ear, looks almost surprised as the official raises his hand! From her knees, Crystal looks up at Hoff, who taunts the champion! The crowd boos as Hoff raises both his arms in victory, and Crystal slimply looks down. COLE Hoff, from out of nowhere, stopped Crystal's roll-up and just trapped her! CABOOSE Hoff BEAT her! And he did it by using his head! Oh, yes, baby, you are looking at greatness in there. Crystal gets to her feet, hitting the turnbuckle pad as Hoff hops out of the ring. Hoff, still smiling, walks backwards up the ramp with his arms raised. COLE Well we now know. It's official. At World Without End, it will be Hoff versus Crystal, one more time, for the World Championship! CABOOSE Just one more time! Once more, and we will have a new heavyweight champion of the world!! On the ramp, Hoff makes the belt motion as Crystal looks on, looking absolutely disgusted. Hoff laughs as he gets to the top of the ramp, then counts out with his voice, and hands, "one, two, three." Hoff nods, and the cameras zoom in on Crystal hanging her head as we.... *FADE TO BLACK*

OAOAST HeldDOWN~! Last week on HeldDOWN~! CRYSTAL Hoff...one-on-one, without help from your boys, in the past two months...you haven't beaten a single person on the roster Hoff swallows hard, taking this in and knowing the truth of it. Hoff keeps his face dark as the champion continues. CRYSTAL Hoff, when you prove to me that you deserve a shot at this belt...you let me know HOFF ...Next week, right here on HeldDown, you and I have a match. One on one...no outside interference. Crystal raises an eyebrow, but keeps quiet. HOFF You want me to prove myself? Well what better way to prove that I deserve a title shot than by beating the champion? So I tell you what. We have ourselves a match, and if I win, I get a World Title shot at World Without End. And if you win...then that's the end of it, and no questions asked...... ***** Hello “I like” by Katy Rose! Always a pleasure to hear you! Hey there’s the logo! How ya doing logo? WHOOMP THERE IT IS! WHOOMP THERE IT IS! There what is? There fireworks is! Dear, sir I believe you mean there fireworks are. Don’t tell me what I mean and don’t mean, whore! COLE Folks welcome to another exciting edition of HeldDOWN we are in Uniondale, New York! CABOOSE Yeah we’re not good enough for the Garden so we have to wrestle in this cesspool! COLE Tonight’s show contains a truck load of excitement! Jingus teams up with his old flame, Dan Black to take on SpiderPoet and Ned Blanchard. Hoff will square off with Crystal for a title shot at World Without End! All on HeldDOWN! BUFFER The following contest is a tag divison Wild Card match, set for one fall. Introducing team number one.... Cue: "Reqium" Fire shoots across the stage, as JINGUS, the veteran OAOAST hoss, strolls out. BUFFER From THE DEPTHS OF HELL, weighing in at 365lbs, this is the Devilman, JIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINGUS! COLE It's time for another patented tag division Wild Card match up. These type of bouts really throw up some unusual partnerships and showcase the variety and depth in the tag team ranks today. Still sporting the busted straightjacket look, JINGUS steps over the top rope into the ring. Cue: "Quiet" JINGUS's flames are extinguished by a rush of black smoke. White sparks of pyro start to flicker in the dark. BUFFER And his partner, from London England, weighing in at 241lbs, he is the Iceheart, Daaaaaaaaaaan BLACK! With an explosion of white, Black steps through the smoke and walks down to the ring, wearing black trenchcoat, shades and long black and silver trunks. COACH So JINGUS and Dan Black team up for the first time in almost 2 years. Remember that Dan Black, as his former incarnation, the Mystery Eskimo, teamed with JINGUS to capture tag team gold. CABOOSE Stop bringing up Dan's past! He's embarrased by it! Black T are greater than the Miracle Weirdness Connection ever were, and it's all thanks to Dan to being himself, and of course T.Bod. COLE And Jivin' JR? CABOOSE Ah...no. Dan steps into the ring, removing his coat and shades, and looks at JINGUS with a sneer. The monster ignores Dan, resting in a corner. COLE T.Bod, the Sadist, and JR are all barred from ringside, as are the partners of their opponents....who are.... Cue: "The Chase" BUFFER From Hollywood California, weighing in at 235lbs, this is "Narcisstic" Ned BLLLLLLLLLLLLLANCHARD! The NNMX member, looking unusually isolated without his partner Simon Singleton and Jim Cornette, walks down to the ring, but declines to enter. He turns his back on Dan and JINGUS to await the arrival of his partner - and gets slammed to the floor by JINGUS as he darts out of the ring. The Devilman throws Ned hard into the ringsteps, into the guard rail, and then back into the ring. COLE JINGUS wasting no time going after Ned! After the NNMX cost Hell's Hitmen a possible tag team championship at Dirty Deeds, JINGUS and Sadist have promised to end NNMX's careers at our October PPV, World Without End, and JINGUS is making a start here tonight! JINGUS puts the boots to Ned, as Dan watches, smirking as usual. Buffer has scattered, so the only introduction for the final man in the match we get is a big POP as SPIDERPOET runs down to the ring! Black turns to face him, and the two old enemies slug it out in the middle of the ring. COACH These guys have fought tag wars agaisnt each other before, not to mention the two bloody battles they had over the Adrenalin Title on IntenseZone. COLE On what? Poet gains the upperhand and whips Dan to the ropes, catching him in a deep armdrag. Black is back to his feet but takes a dropkick to the jaw and rolls out of the ring. JINGUS leaves Ned on the mat and rumbles over to Poet, who evades his punch and nails another dropkick. JINGUS is barely moved however, and when Poet runs the ropes the Devilman turns him 360 with a thunderous lariat. Our referee, newcomer Rex Rexington, who somewhat resembles Danny Devito, calls for the bell to start. *DING DING DING* COACH It looks like JINGUS and SpiderPoet will start this off. How do you see this one, Mikey? COLE Well- CABOOSE Put a cock in it, bitch. It's obvious that JINGUS and Dan can combine well enough to see off their opponents. If Ned had a decent partner, I might give him a chance, but look at the idiot he's tagging with! JINGUS whips Poet into the corner and follows him in, crushing the bard with an avalanche. JINGUS grabs SP and bodyslams him hard into the center of the ring, before dropping a trio of massive elbows to the sternum. Meanwhile, Dan and Ned get to their team's corners. COACH Everyone in this match is a former tag team champion. CABOOSE Shut up, fact boy. JINGUS brings Poet up and takes him over for the tag to Black. Dan picks Poet up into a vertical suplex, holding him up...while JINGUS steps down to one knee...and Dan just drops Poet back down face first, so his ribs crush into JINGUS's outstretched knee! Poet bounces off and clutches his ribs, kicking his legs in pain. As Rex gets JINGUS out, Dan puts the boots to the injured area, before lifting Poet up. Black lashes Poet with a pair of European uppercuts that stagger him back onto the ropes, where Dan measures him for a running high knee to the ribs that connects hard. Dan grins, and tries again - and Poet ducks out of the way, leaving Black to bounce off the ropes and into a school boy from SP! ONE! TWO! No, Dan kicks out. Poet is onto him immediately, and CHOPS him hard. Dan fires back with his own chop, but Poet unleashes an even harder blow. Black responds with a rake of the eyes, to the disapproval of the crowd, and then locks on a quick front facelock for a snap suplex, floating over for a cover: ONE! TWO! Kickout! Dan brings Poet up and whips him into an empty corner. Black kicks away at Poet's ribs, but SP comes back with a headbutt that staggers Dan away. Poet jumps onto the second rope, and as Dan turns back leaps towards him and hits a Tornado DDT that crushes Black's head into the mat! SP rolls over and tags in Ned Blanchard. COLE Ned is the man in this match with the least OAOAST history behind him. He's going to have to be on top of his game to compete with Dan and JINGUS here. CABOOSE Are you suggesting Blanchard is a weak link? The guy is a former tag team champion, Cole! NNMX only lost those titles because the board made them put them up in a stupid TLC match! Blanchard gets Dan to his feet and whips him off the ropes, hitting him with a big back body drop. Black picks himself up, but walks straight into a Northern Lites suplex with bridged cover: ONE! TWO! THR- Black with the shoulder up. Ned grabs Dan by the neck and gets him to his feet- and Black drags him down into the Heart of Ice! (Crippler Crossface) Blanchard struggles in the hold as Dan wrenches at his neck, but Ned is close enought to the ropes that he can inch forward and reach the bottom cable. Black regretfully lets go, and allows Ned back up. Referee Rexington checks on Blanchard, and as soon as he stands aside Dan attacks with a knee to the gut. Black brings Ned into the middle of the ring and double underhooks both his arms, going for his Pitch Black (Angel's Wings), but Ned counters out into a hammerlock on Dan. Ned backs into his team's corner, where SpiderPoet tags himself in and takes over on the hammerlock. Poet wrenches down on the arm, but Dan suddenly counters into a waistlock on Poet, trying for a German suplex. SP counters in turn however, getting his own waistlock, and is about to execute the move when JINGUS is in the ring, grabbing Poet in his own Devil-waistlock! The Devilman uses his super-human strength to German suplex SP- who drags Dan with him in his own German! COLE Oh my God! Double German suplex, and the whiplash on Dan has got to be immense! COACH JINGUS is such a dangerous guy- at any moment he could KILL SOMEONE! CABOOSE Uh, did they forget to give you de-caff again? Black is clutching the back of his head and rolling under the ropes. JINGUS steps to the apron and slaps Dan on the head to tag himself in. The monster picks Poet off the mat and grabs him into a bearhug, massive biceps locked around SP's ribs. The crowd starts to get behind Poet, stamping their collective feet as Poet screws up his face in pain and effort of escape. CABOOSE This is great...I can almost hear those ribs snapping... Ned Blanchard steps into the ring and slugs at JINGUS's head, but the Devilman merely laughs. Rex Rexington tries to get Ned out of the ring, who pushes him aside and hits a huge standing dropkick over the head of Poet into the jaw of JINGUS, which is at last enough to make him release Poet. COACH Outstanding athleticisim from Ned Blanchard, and he saves Poet from possible RIB BREAKAGE DEATH! Ned and Poet double team JINGUS, hammering him with boots and punches, and whip him off the ropes. A double shoulderblock doesn't send the Devilman to the mat, but a double team DDT does. Ned is finally pushed out of the ring by Rex Rexington, as Poet rolls JINGUS onto his back for the cover: ONE! TWO! THR-Poet is thrown off! Both men back to their feet, and Poet ducks the bigger man's punch and hits a super kick! JINGUS stays on his feet for a second, but then slowly topples back to the mat. Poet runs the ropes, jumping onto the second and springboarding off with a Lionsault - but the impact hurts SP's ribs, and he can't make the cover. CABOOSE Not a smart move by SpiderIdiot. COLE Adrenalin got the better of him there, and now both men need a tag. The crowd urge Poet to get the tag first, as JINGUS starts to slide over to Dan Black, who is still holding his head from the double German he took. JINGUS and Poet both extend their hands - and both make the tags at the same time! Ned and Dan rush into the ring, and Ned lays Black out with a lariat, and then a flying leg lariat as he whips Black off the ropes. Ned picks Dan up and sets for a powerbomb, but Black flips Blanchard onto his back and rolls over him, hooking up the legs as he goes for a cover: ONE! TWO! But Ned gets his arms around Dan's torso and pushes up and bridges out, bringing both men to their feet, with Ned turning and dragging Dan into a backslide pin: ONE! TWO! THREEEEEEEEE- Dan kicks out! Both men up, and Black tries for the Heart of Ice, but Ned rolls through before he can be brought down. Dan goes after Ned, but walks straight into a belly to belly throw! Blanchard leaves Dan lying and heads up to the top rope- but as he's about to leap off JINGUS knocks the top rope, unbalancing Ned and causing him to crootch himself! COLE Ned now very vulnerable up there. And Dan going for the tag! Black brings in the Devilman, who lumbers over and climbs up to the top rope after Blanchard, setting for a superplex! As JINGUS is about to rip Ned down to the mat however, SpiderPoet runs round the apron and grabs a hold of Blanchard, keeping him on the top, so that JINGUS falls backwards emptyhanded onto the canvas! Ned gets to his feet and leaps off with a diving headbutt to the forehead of JINGUS! As Blanchard rolls away, clutching his temple, SpiderPoet then climbs up to the top rope - 450 splash! Again, the impact on the ribs leaves SP in agony, but Ned rolls over for the cover! ONE! TWO! THREE! NO! Dan Black makes a diving save at the last possible moment! Ned gets to his feet, Dan avoids his lariat- eye poke - BLACKOUT! (Stunner) Black puts JINGUS on top and demands Rex counts: ONE! TWO! THREE! *DING DING DING* BUFFER The winners of the match, the team of JINGUS and Dan BLLLLACK! COLE Black & JINGUS prevail in a hard fought contest, and that has to give their teams an edge as we look forward to World Without End in three weeks time. CABOOSE It took both Poet and Ned to get JINGUS down, and that left them open to Dan Black's attack. JINGUS slowly gets to his feet as Rex Rexerton raises his and Dan's hands. The Devilman and Black stare at each other. JINGUS extends a hand. And Dan...takes it? COACH What? Is this a re-union? What about Black T and Hell's Hitmen? CABOOSE Don't worry, Coach, I think if you look over there- Someone's coming out of the crowd. Grabbing a steel chair from ringside. Slamming it into the back of JINGUS. Of course, it's T.Bod. Another couple of shots, and the Devilman is down and out cold. Dan and T.Bod grin - but scatter as the Sadist comes racing out to the aid of his partner. Sadist then goes after the recovering Ned Blanchard, who in turn is saved by an incoming Simon Singleton. The party is complete when EL DANDY~ appears and protects SpiderPoet from Black T. The four teams stare each other down... COLE The tag division is as competitive as ever here on HeldDown, and this isn't even about the titles! There are some personal vendettas out there, and at World Without End, we're going to see some serious grudge matches. COACH Backstage we go. Where we stop, nobody knows! (Krista Isadora Duncan and Tiffany Ruutu are seen lounging on the floor gazing at a nondescript ceiling) KRISTA See that cloud? Don’t you think it looks like a piano? TIFFANY Cloud? Tiff, thought we was indoors! KRISTA We are. I just like to pretend that we’re outside. TIFFANY Ah see. S’okay. Look at dat one, don’t it be lookin like Wichita. KRISTA Wichita? That’s a city! A cloud can’t be shaped like a city! TIFFANY Why da fuck not, eh? Who are ya, the cloud shape president, tellin me ah can’t see what ah see! KRISTA A cloud...it just can’t okay! You don’t even know what Wichita is shaped like! TIFFANY Yeah ah do, is shape like dat cloud. KRISTA Damn it! There’s no clouds! We’re inside! But if we were outside, and we’re not, you wouldn’t see a cloud shaped like Wichita because it would cover the entire sky as far as we can see! (Krista clams downs and her nostrils cease their flaring) Look, you need to be a lot nicer. TIFFANY It just imaginary clouds! Lighten up, eh! KRISTA Forget the clouds. I’m talking about Logan. You need to be nicer to him. TIFFANY Ya got it all wrong, Duncan doughnuts. All wrong. Dat boy needs ta be nicer ta me. KRISTA That’s true. But we get what we give. And what you give Logan is an extraordinary amount of shit and it turn gives it right back to you.. TIFFANY He starts it. Tiff’s on da innocent train he ridin coach on the gulity jet. Ah’m OJ Simpson, he be Scott Peterson. KRISTA Scott Peterson hasn’t been convicted yet. TIFFANY Logan has. He been tried, juried and executioned and excommunicated from da church of da holy rockers. Ah ain’t need him. Ain’t not never needed him neither. KRISTA Okay, that was like a quadruple negative and I’m pretty sure my third grade English teacher would be spinning over in her grave if she was dead. But I understand what you’re trying to say. Now understand this, Synth Esizer. You two need each other. You are nothing without Logan. That’s what he said last week and he’s right. But before you get mad, he’s nothing without you. Without him you’re a hot dog without mustard and he’s a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, without bread. If he tries to do anything without you, he’ll fall flat on his face. Flip and reverse it and you’ll meet the same results. If you continue to stand with daggers drawn, every day of your existence will be a new exercise in spectacular failure. Of course if you follow the advice I gave...oh what does it matter? You’re not going to listen to me. You two will fight and fight forever and ever. Not my problem, I guess. Good luck with your life, Tiffany. (Krista gets up and walks away, leaving Tiffy with food for thought) (Go to break)

(break in) (BAM!!!! We spot a professional woman walking down the hall. She's conventionally beautiful, but one gaze at her face gives us the impression that she's drowning in a sea of sadness.) COACH Holla holla, playas! Coach knows that fly honey! CABOOSE As does Caboose. That's Northstar's stepsister, Holly-Wood. Why is she here? COLE To confront Zack Malibu no doubt. (Holly-Wood continues to walk down the hallway, paying no attention to numerous odd looks she gets from staff members and wrestlers alike. Her journey ends when she reaches her intended target of Alix Spezia.) ALIX Holly! Hi! (Alix runs up to Holly and gives her a huge hug. Holly grinds her teeth together and tries to slip away from Alix, while trying to act like that's what she's not doing. Eventually Alix lets go of Holly on her own. Holly staggers backwards, coughing and wheezing. She swats at the air, like an airborne disease is rapidly closing in on her.) ALIX Holly are you all right? HOLLY I...I'm..I'm fine. Just....just (Holly's face starts to nervously twitch)....stay back! ALIX Uh, okay. How are you? I'm sorry I haven't called you! God, its so nice to see you here! I thought you were done with wrestling. (Alix makes the mistake of putting her hand on Holly's shoulder. Holly's body trembles violently as she stares at it like it was covered with a poisonous toxin.) HOLLY I am..I..mean..I was...I mean....I am...I am....yes...I am. ALIX Uh-huh. Then what brings you by? Come to see me, have you?! HOLLY Yes I have. Actually. Yeah, that's exactly what I'm here for. Kind of. I'm also here to see the Saints. ALIX Who? Oh! The Muses! Tiffy and Logan. Tiff is meditating with Krista and Logan, well...I think he's playing Gamecube with one of the Love Doctors. But I'm here. Duh! Heh heh. HOLLY Fine. I'll address this to you and you can pass it on to who you see fit. When my baby brother was unceremoniously dumped from his GM spot, I was booted out from my job as director of HeldDOWN~! Player personnel as well. Because money does not grow on trees, I had to get a real job like the rest of the world. Long story short I got a job with Arista Records who was looking for someone stupid enough to manage this piece of shit rock band they had called the Saints. The Saints were also trying to double as wrestlers, so the record label figured that with my connections in the OAOAST I could get the Saints a job and it would be great and wonderful publicity for the Saints and Arista records and everything would be happy and joyous and we'd all dance around the rainbow and sing songs and eat watermelon and have a happy old time! And we did. Until you came along. ALIX Me? HOLLY Well, you and that Jewel impersonating partner of yours. You lured the Saints into a match you knew they could never win, forced them to accept a stipulation without telling them the meaning behind it. Then when they lost that match, you gained “ownership” of them. Whoopie! You changed them. You've turned them into something they're not supposed to be. Arista Records wanted a balls to wall, take no shit, bad ass, top down, hair in the wind, straight rock and roll band. Professorial wrestling was supposed to solidify that hard ass image. But since they've hooked up with you....They're nothing! They're useless! They don't bleed red, they bleed green. Green as in cash! Every day you have control over them, we lose money! You are causing almost irreparable damage to Arista record's property! And that pisses them off! And when they get pissed off who do you think they take it out on? The woman who they're paying money to resurrect the Saint's career's, me! And that pisses me off! And who do you think I'm gonna take my anger out on? One guess. Just one. That's all you need. ALIX Me? (Spit flew from Alix's mouth and landed on Holly's forehead. At that exact moment, Holly started to weigh the pros and cons of decapitating herself.) HOLLY Yes..yo..you. Always....about....you isn't it? ALIX Um, but you said.. HOLLY I know what I said, stupid. And I know what else I said to. Arista Records wants their property back, and you will give it back or suffer the consequences. That's the bottom line. ALIX Because Holly-wood said so? HOLLY Shut up. (Holly-Wood walks away.) ALIX Aw man. The only thing worse then being chewed out by your ex-boyfriend's sister is having to sit through a marathon of Saved By the Bell: The College years. (To the arena) COLE Well, folks, coming up next is the Six Man Tag match to continue our Round Robin tournament. As always, keep in mind that the winner of this tournament will be moving on to get a title shot at the Heavyweight Champion in November on Pay-Per-View. Never forget just how high the stakes are in this thing! COACH The teams for this match were chosen last week. For those that missed HeldDown last Saturday night, it’s going to be Gunner Sharps, Panther, and Leon Rodez taking on Drek Stone, The Mad Cappa, and The Blurricane! CABOOSE If anyone missed HeldDown last Saturday, they don’t deserve to know the teams in this match. Even I had to waste my Saturday for that! COLE Good to see there are still those that are bitter. Let’s get down to Michael Buffer, who’s ready for the introductions. BUFFER The Road to the Elimination Chamber continues tonight with a special Six-Man Tag match, scheduled for ONE FALL! Keep in mind that the winning team in this match will earn THREE POINTS for each member! Now, coming to the ring first…. Woke Up This Morning Got Yourself A Gun Mama Always Said You’d Be The Chosen One BUFFER Introducing first, hailing from Brooklyn, New York, weighing in at 220 pounds, he is the self-proclaimed “World’s Greatest Athlete!” Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome…….DRRRRRRRRRREK STOOOOOOOOOOOONE!!!! A solid string of boos start to rise out of the capacity crowd in the Nassau Coliseum as Drek Stone slowly steps out onto the entranceway with a focused look in his eyes. Standing at the top of the ramp for a moment, he endures the jeers from the crowd, then makes his way towards the ring. Once he climbs the steps and enters through the ropes, he arrogantly pounds his chest with a grin on his face. Fireworks then rise from the four corners of the ring as Drek settles into a nearby turnbuckle. BUFFER And one of his opponents from the opposite team… “State Prop (You Know Us)” starts up over the PA system to a LOUD pop from the crowd. The arena slowly fades to black, and after approximately five seconds… BOOM! The arena is rocked by a HUGE pyro blast. Flashing red and white spotlights swarm the arena, befoe focusing on the entranceway. Panther slowly steps through a thick cloud of smoke and, after acknowledging the cheers of the crowd for a moment, starts his walk down to the ring. BUFFER He hails from Philadelphia, PA and weighs in tonight at 194 pounds. Folks, please welcome The Champion of Champions…PAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNTHEEEERRRRRRR!! The crowd cheers as Panther finally gets to the ring and steps onto the ring apron. He gets ready to walk into the ring, but Drek plants him with a hard knee to the face, sending him falling onto the arena floor. COLE Oh, what’s that about? The bell didn’t even ring yet! CABOOSE What? I distinctly heard a ringing sound. Drek must have heard it too! Drek quickly takes advantage of this opportunity and slides out of the ring. He picks Panther off the floor by his hair, holds him by the back of his head, and hurls him into a nearby ringpost. The fans start to loudly boo, but those jeers are soon replaced by cheers as Leon Rodez runs down to ringside. Catching Drek off-guard, Leon brings him down with a clothesline, receiving a massive reaction in return. As Drek rolls around on the arena floor, Leon hops onto a nearby ringside barricade. Once Drek makes it onto his feet, Leon jumps off the barricade…..and catches Drek square in the chest with a missile dropkick. CABOOSE Talk about being unfair! Who the hell invited Leon Rodez out here? COACH Well, considering he’s actually in this match, I would say he has a valid excuse. With a wide smile, Leon throws his arms up to the crowd - and suddenly gets knocked down from behind by The Blurricane. Blurricane, not giving Leon a chance to breathe, peels him off the floor and moves him to a nearby corner, near a set of ring stairs. Ignoring the referee’s screams to get back in the ring, Blurricane sets up Leon in a suplex position……lifts him up……and gives him a SNAP SUPLEX ONTO THE RING STAIRS! The fans groan as Leon’s back hits the hard steel of the stairs, leaving him to twitch around accordingly. COLE What a nasty suplex onto the steel stairs! COACH This Six-Man Tag is already getting out of control - and the bell hasn’t even rang yet! Blurricane turns his attention towards Panther who has started to get up, and levels him with a nasty kick to the ribs. Suddenly, Gunner comes BARRELING down the ramp - AND BRINGS BLURRICANE DOWN TO THE FLOOR WITH A HUGE SPEAR!!! The fans start to go absolutely insane as Gunner stares defiantly at his fallen opponent. But finally, here comes The Mad Cappa! He runs down to the ramp to help his partners……but Gunner quickly turns around and absolutely KILLS him with a vicious clothesline! The fans explode with a chant of “GUNNER! GUNNER!” as he pries Drek off the floor and tosses him into the ring. *DING DING DING* Drek quickly begins backing away towards the ringpost, yet Gunner continues to slowly stalk towards him with a menacing look on his face. However, once Gunner gets close enough, Drek suddenly uses the ring ropes to pull himself right back to his feet. He steps back to throw a punch at Gunner - but isn’t quick enough, as Gunner knocks him with a HARD European Uppercut, sending him hurtling back to the turnbuckles. Gunner, not wanting to lose this opportunity, slowly steps back, runs forward…..AND CRUSHES DREK STONE IN THE CORNER WITH AN AVALANCHE SPLASH! CABOOSE OH! This can’t be legal! Give the man a chance to breathe! The fans start to loudly cheer as Drek crumbles down to the mat, the wind being completely sucked out of his lungs. Gunner begins to lift his arms up to pose for the crowd, but suddenly finds himself stumbling into the nearby ring corner, thanks to a surprise Mad Cappa dropkick. Gunner tries to step out of the corner, but Cappa begins peppering him with nasty lefts and rights to the face. After about six shots, Gunner gives Cappa a hard shove away. Cappa falls, rolls along with the push, pops back to his feet, and charges forward once again. Without hesitation, he goes right back to hitting Gunner with punches to the face. After a few more fists, Gunner pushes Cappa yet again. As before, Cappa falls, roll along with the push, pops back to his feet, and charges forward. Yet, unlike before, Gunner is awaiting the move - and he KNOCKS Cappa silly with a big boot to the face. COLE Gunner Sharps is absolutely unloading on every single one of his opponents! COACH Well, what can you possibly expect from a 7-foot, 300-pound monster? Gunner stares at Cappa for a second as he falls to the ground, but then turns his attention to The Blurricane who is waiting on the top rope. However, Gunner wasn’t quick enough as Blurricane jumps off at that moment…..AND BRINGS GUNNER DOWN TO THE MAT WITH A TOP ROPE LEG LARIAT! Despite their love for Gunner, the crowd starts to cheer as he falls flat onto the ground. Blurricane, not wanting to let up on the attack whatsoever, starts delivering some nasty stomps to the head and back of Gunner. CABOOSE I like this. It looks like Blurricane has suddenly grown a backbone. Suplexing Rodez onto the ring steps. Knocking Gunner right off his feet. I gotta admit, I’m kind of impressed. Suddenly, Leon Rodez comes from behind, grabs Blurricane from behind, and brings him down with a German Suplex! The cheers continue as, after the German Suplex, Panther comes off the ropes and lands on Blurricane with a senton splash. CABOOSE Scratch that. Nevermind. Both Panther and Rodez step onto the ring apron, since Gunner is still the legal man in this match. After a few moments, Drek and Gunner - the two legal men in this match right now - start to make their way back up to their feet. Drek is up first, so he walks over to Gunner, who is still somewhat doubled over. Drek suddenly yanks Gunner back by his hair, grabs him from behind, and brings him down a Russian leg sweep. He rolls along with the move and gets back onto his feet. The fans start to loudly boo as he arrogantly pounds his chest in pride, then looks behind him at his tag partners who are now on the apron. All three men stare at each other with odd glances, unsure of what they should do here. COLE This really is an awkward situation. I don’t think anybody in the OAOAST, save for Caboose, actually likes Drek Stone. But can these two men form a cohesive team wit him? CABOOSE Jealously is an amazingly dangerous thing, Cole. Finally, Drek extends his hand to The Mad Cappa. Cappa hesitantly reaches out to grab Drek’s hand - but Drek pulls it back and gives him the middle finger in return. CABOOSE Ha! That’s hilarious! Drek Stone does NOT need The Mad Cappa’s help! A chant of “Drek Stone Sucks!” starts to break out in the building as Drek looks to turn his attention to Gunner. But at this instant, Gunner reaches out and tags Leon Rodez! The cheers rise up again, as Drek quickly turns around to tag his two partners. They suddenly jump off the ring apron and step back, smiling at Drek the entire way. CABOOSE What the hell is that about?! For Chrissakes, they’re Tag Team partners! How can they just ditch him like that? COACH Imagine this incredible idea. They just don’t like being given the middle finger. Unbelievable…. Drek, with a look of shock, turns back around to deal with Rodez - and gets brought down with a huricarana! After the move, Leon sits on Drek’s chest and delivers a few hard shots to the face. Drek violently shoves Leon off his chest and scrambles to get back to his feet. Yet, as soon as he does, Rodez comes off the ropes and hits him with a running enziguiri! Drek slowly falls to the mat as Leon makes the cover! ONE…. TWO….. KICKOUT! Drek kicks out of the pinfall and quickly rolls to the right, trying to get back into a standing position once again. COLE Leon Rodez and Drek Stone have certainly had a history in the past few months. I’m sure there will be no lack of animosity between them tonight. Leon, staking out his position, stands in the opposite corner and waits for Drek to get up. Once he does, Leon charges forward…..but Drek brings him right down with a rapid Belly-to-Belly suplex! After the move, both men lay down on the mat for a few seconds, until Drek quickly pops up and scrambles to the corner. He quickly slaps hands with The Mad Cappa and rolls out of the ring, not allowing Cappa the chance to tag him back in. Cappa, with a grudging grin at Drek’s tactics, steps into the ring and charges at Leon Rodez. CABOOSE Was that fear I saw on The Mad Cappa’s face? Did he not want to step into the ring when his partner tagged him in? COLE I think it was just he despises the idea of helping Drek Stone in any possible way. COACH Or it could have been gas. COLE I…..well…..I guess it’s possible… Leon, letting his wits handle this particular situation, brings Cappa down with a drop toe hold. Cappa lands on his knees, and Rodez takes this chance to run back, leapfrog over Cappa’s body, and tag Panther in! The fans cheer as Panther walks into the ring and steps right up to The Mad Cappa. The two men have a brief staredown in the ring, silently whispering insults into each other’s ears. Finally, Panther fires with the first shot, hitting Cappa in the side of the head with a right hand. Cappa quickly returns the favor with his own punch, and the two men start exchanging in a fistfight in the center of the ring. Panther gets the advantage first, hitting Cappa with enough right hands to send him stumbling back into the corner. Panther then grabs Cappa’s arm and tries to irish-whip him into the opposite corner. But Cappa reverses it, sending Panther into the turnbuckle! Panther bounces out of the corner and Cappa brings him down with a BAAAAAACK BODY DROP! Panther tries to sit up after the move, but Cappa steps back and smacks him with a tingling kick to the spine! COLE Ouch! Did you hear the effects of that kick echo throughout the arena? CABOOSE I don’t know who to root for here. Really. How can someone choose between two people they dislike so much? Panther screams after the kick, hurting from the attack, but that doesn’t please The Mad Cappa enough. He grabs Panther’s head from behind and wraps it underneath his arm, almost in a Dragon Sleeper position. He then forces Panther to get back on his feet. Cappa suddenly lifts Panther up……AND SENDS HIM NEARLY HALFWAY ACROSS THE RING WITH A REVERSE SUPLEX! Cappa hurries over to make the cover! ONE…. TWO…. KICKOUT! Panther just kicked out of the cover. Cappa quickly gets off Panther’s chest and stands behind him. With a smirk, Cappa begins signaling for Panther to get up, clearly stalking him in preparation for an attack. Finally, after a few seconds, Panther is able to make it back onto his feet. He turns around dizzily……Cappa hits him with a boot to the stomach…….AND IT’S THE BUST-A-CAP!!! NO!!!! Panther holds onto the ring rope for dear life, causing Cappa to fall onto the mat by himself. COACH Panther held on! Panther held on! CABOOSE Thanks for that insightful commentary, Coach. It’s a good thing my friggin eyes don’t work! Cappa lands on his ass, to a now mixed reaction of the crowd, and cringes at the pain for a second. He starts to move up to his feet afterwards, but Panther bounces off the ropes and it’s the……PANTHER CUTTER! A loud roar raises up from the crowd as Cappa flops down to the mat after the move. Panther scrambles over for the count. ONE….. TWO…… COLE THIS ONE IS OVER!! SHOULDER UP! The Mad Cappa just got a shoulder up! Panther, somewhat expecting this, immediately gets up and drops a leg across Cappa’s throat. He then moves towards his team’s corner and scales up the turnbuckle. Once he gets to the top rope, he looks out at the fans and gets ready to jump…..but then suddenly stops. With a smirk beginning to cross his face, Panther calls Gunner over towards him on the apron and whispers into his ear. COACH What could Panther be thinking of here? CABOOSE Panther never needed an excuse before to whisper sweet nothings into another man’s ear. Gunner nods agreeably, and Panther moves from the top rope onto Gunner’s shoulders. A buzz starts to rise up among the fans as Panther stands straight up on Gunner’s shoulders, allowing the flashbulbs to bathe him in a sea of white light. Finally, he jumps off Gunner’s shoulders…….WITH A FROG SPLASH ONTO THE MAD CAPPA!! IT CONNECTS!!! “HOLY SHIT!” “HOLY SHIT!” COACH HOLY POO!!! CABOOSE Ugh, Coach, I swear…. After the frog splash, Panther stays on top of Cappa’s body for the cover. ONE…. TWO…. THREE!!! NO!!! Drek Stone runs into the ring at the last moment and pulls Panther off by his leg. The fans let out a loud series of jeers as Drek starts to walk towards his corner, but those are stopped when Leon Rodez cuts him off. Leon starts hitting him with a number of shots to the face, but is cut off when The Blurricane comes into the ring to actually defend Drek. He rears back and smacks Leon across the chest with a hard chop. “WOOOOOOOO!” He leans back again and another chop. “WOOOOOOOO!” Seeing Gunner start to make his way back into the ring, Blurricane runs towards him with an attack in his mind. But Gunner simply bends down, allows Blurricane to run forward, and brings him over the top rope with a HIGH BACK BODY DROP! Drek runs at Gunner to hit him, but Sharps now lifts him up for a military press. He holds him up in the air for a few seconds, then throws him over the top rope onto the Blurricane! Both men fall to the mat as the arena breaks out into a wild chant of “GUNNER! GUNNER!” COLE Once again, Gunner is managing to prove just how much size DOES matter! CABOOSE …..I’m not even going to touch that one. Drek and Blurricane struggle to get up, but don’t notice Leon bouncing off the ropes in the ring. He runs towards the two men…..jumps over the top rope…..AND HITS BOTH OF THEM WITH A SOMERSAULT PLANCHA! All three men hit the ground and roll for a short while, Drek and Blurricane landing near each other. COACH And Leon Rodez with an impressive somersault plancha, taking out BOTH Drek Stone and The Blurricane! Panther takes this opportunity to now climb to the top rope. With the fans encouraging him the entire way, Panther braces himself….AND JUMPS OFF WITH AN ASAI MOONSAULT ONTO ALL THREE WRESTLERS! COLE This is starting to look like a demolition derby. Just look at the amazing moves we’re witnes…….uh oh. CABOOSE Oh God! What the hell is this?! Just when you think the arena can’t get any louder, it does when the fans catch Gunner starting to slowly make his way up on the turnbuckle. The cheers turn into a loud roar as Gunner steps onto the middle turnbuckle, with all four men on the ground slowly getting onto their feet. They suddenly spot Gunner and scatter in different directions, almost as if their lives depended on it. The fans groan for a second as Gunner pounds the turnbuckle in frustration, but Cappa then gives him a hard club across the back. Gunner reaches around to swat at Cappa, but Cappa avoids the hand, and gives Gunner a few more clubs to the back. Eventually, Gunner gets stunned to the point where he lowers his head, and Cappa wraps his arms around Gunner’s waist from behind. COACH Wait. What can he be going for here? COLE He couldn’t possibly… He forces Gunner to stand up on the middle turnbuckle, but Cappa keeps his feet planted on the ground. After a few seconds of waiting, Cappa finally lets out a loud yell and pulls Gunner away from the middle turnbuckle……WITH A GERMAN SUPLEX ONTO THE MAT!!! The fans absolutely EXPLODE and rise with a standing ovation, loudly applauding the move and the efforts of these six men in general. “HOLY SHIT!“ “HOLY SHIT!“ COLE THAT WAS JUST AMAZING! COACH Never have I seen anything like that! Every man lays down in their respective spot for a short while, trying to summon their own energy back to continue. Finally, Cappa starts to stir first, and grabs the ropes to help support his shaky knees. Meanwhile, Panther is not far behind. He slowly gets up and rolls back into the ring. Both men then start to struggle to get back up, but with Cappa winnng the battle. Seeing that Panther is ready to fully stand, Cappa suddenly grabs him by his neck…….AND HITS THE BUST-A-CAP! Panther immediately folds on impact and falls to the mat as half the crowd screams for Cappa to make the cover. Finally, he crawls over - AND DRAPES AN ARM ACROSS PANTHER’S CHEST! ONE…. TWO…. THREEEEEEE! NO!! Leon jumps off the top rope at the last second and hits BECAUSE THE LADY LOVES RIGHT ON THE MAD CAPPA’S BACK!! The referee immediately stops the count and starts screaming at Rodez to get out of the ring. COLE We were only one second away from deciding who would be getting the three points here! CABOOSE Again, I just can’t tell who I’d like to see get pinned first. Cappa and Panther are both just so hateable…. Rodez starts jawing with the referee, so he doesn’t notice Blurricane bouncing off the ropes. Blurricane then comes back, jumps up…..AND HITS LEON RODEZ WITH A SHINING WIZARD! Rodez falls to the mat and rolls out of the ring, very much stunned by the move. Blurricane gets ready to follow him out of the ring, but here COMES GUNNER~! HE HITS BLURRICANE WITH AN OH MY GOD INCREDIBLY HARD SPEAR ALL THE WAY TO HELL, IF NOT HELL, THEN SOMEPLACE THAT HAS A LOT OF PAIN~!~! CABOOSE Whoa! I haven’t seen a superhero disaster like that since The Hulk came out in theaters a few years ago. COACH Agreed! Just terrible! Both of them! Blurricane immediately crumples upon impact of the move and rolls out of the ring, just as Leon did before. Gunner leans out through the middle ropes to taunt Blurricane, and that’s when Drek steps back and hits a field goal kick right into Gunner’s balls, for lack of a better term! Sure, testicles could work here. Or genitals. But no. Drek hit Gunner in the balls! Gunner, in severe pain, completely doubles over after the kick, and Drek boots him in the ass, sending him through the ropes and to the outside. CABOOSE Ha! See, THAT’S the way you take care of an unstoppable monster! Drek then stares at Panther and The Mad Cappa slowly starting to rise up in the middle of the ring. With a confused look on his face, he stares silently at both men struggling to make it up. COLE Drek seems to be having a debate with himself. He’s not quite sure who to attack. COACH What’s he going to do here?! He does have an intense hatred for The Mad Cappa….but he really needs those three points if he wants to stay in this! CABOOSE Come on, Drek. Take the points! Get Cappa afterwards! Just take the points! After glancing confusingly at both men for a few seconds, Drek finally makes his decision. “BOOOOOOOOOOO!” He walks over to Panther……kicks him in the stomach……AND PLANTS HIM WITH THE STONECUTTER!!! Drek stares down at his fallen opponent for a few seconds, but is suddenly dumped over the top rope by the Mad Cappa! CABOOSE What the hell is that about?! WHY WOULD HE DO THAT?! Cappa then falls down on top of Panther for the cover! ONE…. TWO….. THREE!!! *DING! DING! DING!* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winners…..AND the recipients of three points in the Round Robin Tournament……DREK STONE, THE BLURRICANE, AND THE MAAAAAAAAAAAAAD CAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPAAAAAAAAA! The fans applaud the announcement just made as Cappa quickly rolls out of the ring and begins to walk quickly towards the back. CABOOSE Oh, he better get the hell out of here. He’s a dead man if Drek Stone catches him! A dead man! COLE Well, here we go. The Blurricane, The Mad Cappa, and Drek Stone have now received three points - and, as a result, this tournament is looking incredibly even. Let’s look at the scoreboard. POINTS: The Mad Cappa: 6 The Blurricane: 6 Gunner Sharps: 5 Drek Stone: 5 Panther: 4 Leon Rodez: 2 CABOOSE Oh god, you have to be kidding me. COACH Nope. The Mad Cappa and The Blurricane are now tied for first place in the Round Robin - with only one week left to go! COLE That’s right, folks. We’ve been told that next week will be the LAST week for the Road to the Elimination Chamber! There will be three more singles matches - and then, once the final point tally has been reached, we will finally know who will be getting that Heavyweight Title Shot in November! COACH As of now, the matches scheduled for next week will be Drek Stone taking on The Blurricane, Gunner Sharps fighting Leon Rodez, and Panther going one-on-one with The Mad Cappa. COLE Folks, you do NOT want to miss next week. SO many things can change in this tournament. Who will be getting a Heavyweight Title shot next month? We’ll finally find out next week! CABOOSE The Mad Cappa and The Blurricane tied for first?! I can’t deal with this. Let’s just go to a commercial break. *COMMERCIAL*