Patty O'Green

[i]Rock Your Baby[/i] hits, as the lights go out and the giant multi-colored disco ball comes down from the ceiling. A haze-like smoke fills the entryway, and Vinny Valentine struts through, followed by an enraged looking Biff Atlas. His nose flares, his teeth grit, and his eyes are narrowed into sinster slits. Vinny attempts to cheer his partner up with some funky dance moves, but Biff will have none of it. All Vinny can do his shrug his shoulders and strut down the entrance ramp, with a disco themed walk. Biff stalks behind him, breathing heavy, and giving nasty glares at anyone who dares look at him. COACH What is this suck ass sucka’s problem? He gets to be on a major show doing something that doesn’t involve being thrown off a scaffold by Mister Dick. He should be happy. PENZER The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall! Making their way to the ring, at a combined weight of 448 pounds...the team off BIFF ATLAS and WDW SUPERSTAR VINNY VALENTINE...PANIC AT THE DISSSSSSSSSSSSCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Vinny slides into the ring, where he flashes a smile at the ring announcer. He then hops onto his feet, and shows off his groovy and far out zebra print pants. For his part, Biff partakes in no showy expressions, instead solemnly leans against the corner. PENZER And the opponents…. [color="#000080"][i]Mother Tell your children not to walk my way Tell your children not to hear my words What they mean What they say Mother Mother Can you keep them in the dark for life Can you hide them from the waiting world Oh mother Father Gonna take your daughter out tonight Gonna show her my world Oh father[/i][/color] The bold strings of [url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vgSn0SbQJQI"]Danzigs “Mother[/url]” wash away any remnants of “Rock Your Body”. Blue lights blast from the entrance stage towards the ring as the pulsing guitars scream across the arena. The unusual combination of the dainty and innocent Queen Esther and her mohawked mauraders appears through the entrance door. Danny Boy squats down, and his long tongue slithers out his mouth like a fierce snake. Scott stands at his side, holding his spiked club in the air, his wild eyes daring Panic! At The Disco to confront him. Behind these two the WDW lettering flashes with bright blue and white lights, while the globe displays their numerous conquests and adventures. PENZER Being accompanied by Queen Esther hailing from Ireland and Scotland respecticvly, they are THE CELTIC THUNDER DANNY BOY, THE BRAVEHEART SCOTTISH SCOTT….THE LAST KINGS OF SCOTLAAAAAND! [color="#000080"][i]Not about to see your light And if you wanna find hell with me I can show you what it's like Till you're bleeding Not about to see your light And if you wanna find hell with me I can show you what it's like Till you're bleeding![/i][/color] COACH These are just some evil grimy ass dudes, no lie. These cats is straight out the gutter. There’s very few cheers for the brutish hooligans and their queen as they stomp along the entrance ramp. Their violent eyes scan the audience, eagerly looking for some poor soul to pummel. Oblivious to her team’s crazed and violent ways Queen Esther eagerly gets to the announce table to fill in Jivin Jr’s spot. With great pride and eagerness she watches her charges slide into the ring. They strike a pose with Danny squatting down on one knee, while Scott puts on a ferocious snarl and holds his spiked club above his mohawked head. COACH Thank god! Welcome, your highness, it is a pleasure to sit with true royalty. QUEEN ESTHER Yes, yes! I’m almost delirious from the excitement of our entrance, all those boos must have been because they wanted us be longer and more theatrical to showcase our acting talents. COACH Yes, your highness, that is exactly what those boos were for. DING DING DING Not forgetting that he’s been hung from a light post, Biff bum rushes the Last Kings, sending them toppling to the canvas. Scott is wise enough to roll out of harms way, but his partner owns no such wisdom. As such he’s furiously stomped at by the enraged Californian. QUEEN ESTHER My, I can’t watch this animalistic display! It offends my delicate sensibilities! Biff scrapes Danny off the canvas, by the seat of his trunks and tosses him into the corner. The Celtic Thunder tries to make a speedy escape, but Biff keeps him there with furious right hands. The blows land with incredible power, drawing welts along Danny’s face. But they come to abrupt end as Biff opts for a different direction. He leaps into Danny’s chest and then falls backwards to monkey flip him into the center of the ring. By sheer luck alone does Danny land on his boots. His luck quickly runs out when Biff grabs onto his Mohawk and slams him down to the mat. “I HAVE UNLEASHED THE FUUUUUURRRRYYYYYYYYYY!” Biff shouts while pounding his chest. QUEEN ESTHER Quick, someone shoot him before he kills again! COACH Now this idiot thinks he’s the Incredible Hulk. “BIFF ANGRY!” he shouts at The Celtic Warrior, who can’t quite comprehend why Biff is talking in the third person and in capital letters. That’s the least of his worries, though, as Biff runs forward to smash him upside the head with a forearm. Danny falls over onto the canvas, leaving him open to more painful stomps from his crazed rival. Once through with leaving his foot print on Danny’s face, Biff scrapes him off the canvas. He then guides his foe to the Panic corner, where a tag is made with Vinny Valentine. “BIFF REST. YOU KILL!” “Don’t worry, daddio, V-squared is on his game!” Vinny assures Biff, strangely not freaked out about his sudden personality change. Vinny launches a parade of punches at Danny Boy, that move the Irishman back towards the center of the ring. He then grabs onto his arm and throws him into the ropes for an irish whip. Vinny lowers his head, forcing a leapfrog on Danny as he returns. When Danny bounces off the ropes, he’s caught by a flipping dropkick from V2. QUEEN ESTHER This is awful! This half-zebra half-man creature is hurting my loyal knights! COACH Half zebra….I think those are just his tights, not actual zebra legs. Vinny hooks the leg for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Scottish Scott returns from the middle of nowhere to break up the pinfall! Eager to gain some revenge, he begins pounding on Vinny while Danny Boy takes a moment to recover. SS hurries his partner along, and together they bring Vinny off the canvas. The two ignore warnings and chastisement from the referee, as they set the dazed Disco Duck up in front of them. In one super fast motion they strike his head with a double headbutt! “OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!” QUEEN ESTHER They have called that the Mohawk Tomahawk. Isn’t it just majestic? No half zebra half man can escape the pain of that move. COACH Half zebra….he’s not….you know what, you’re right, he is half zebra half man and he’s a horrible mutation that doesn’t deserve to live. QUEEN ESTHER I’m tickled that you see it my way! Danny attempts a pinfall on his downed foe. ONE! TWO! “BIFF DESTORY!” comes a thunderous roar as Atlas kicks Danny off his partner. “YEAAAAAAAA!” Deciding its better not to be shellacked by Biff once again, Danny rolls backwards to his corner and applies the tag with Scottish Scott. COACH I gotta ask. I love The Last Kings of Scotland, but how do you, such a classy chick, get linked up with crazy, violent, Mohawked hooligans? QUEEN ESTHER Oh you mustn’t refer to them as hooligans. They’re brave and loyal knights, and I can file my nails on their Mohawks. The Braveheart lifts Vinny off the canvas and treats his midsection to a bevy of knee strikes. Valentine stumbles away, short on breath and weak in the legs. Scott uses this time to bounce himself off the ring ropes. And when he returns he levels Vinny with a lariat to the back. “SCOTT ANGRY! SCOTT KILL!” The Braveheart mocks Biff all while laying stomps into Valentine’s back. Next, he grabs onto Vinny’s slick hair and pulls him to his feet. He then shoves him into a neutral corner and backs to the center of the ring. SS snorts like a bull, then charges like one at V-Squared. But Vinny is ready for his arrival with a kick to the face! The fans cheer as Scottish Scott timbers backwards to the canvas. Scott’s pain allows Vinny to crawl along the ring ropes and apply the tag to Biff. “BIFF HAVE THE FUUUUURRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYY!” QUEEN ESTHER That’s not even proper queen’s English! Oh he, must be shot, he just must! Our lives are in danger, Jonathan, don’t you see? COACH Baby, get a little closer to the Coach, I’m gonna save the world. There’s no one to protect Scottish Scott as Biff runs through him with phenomenal power. COACH Now why can’t this idiot do this all the time? Why he gonna be that dude that gets kicked in the face, falls over the top rope and thinks he can fly? Scott slowly and painfully gets back to his feet. Sadly for him, he meets the same result as furious Biff turns him inside out with another shoulder tackle. Scott crawls to the corner, feeling as though his bones have been put through a meat grinder. Not wanting to let up on his surge, a snarling Biff Atlas follows him into the corner. The Braveheart fends him off through with a simple but effective knife edge chop. The blow only makes Biff all the madder, and he winds up to strike down Scott with an overhand right. But the Scotsman delays this strike with a kick to Biff’s knees. Hobbled, Biff is easily struck by a European uppercut from the European. QUEEN ESTHER I simply don’t know how you do it week in and week out! My hearts a flutter, I’m sweating, my hands are shaking, and a half zebra half man creature may eat me! Scottish Scott grabs Biff into a front facelock, and then falls backwards to spike his head into the canvas with a DDT. He rolls his foe onto his back and makes a pinfall… ONE! TWO! “BIFF NEVER DIE!” he shouts with his kickout. QUEEN ESTHER Never die? He can never die? That…that…that means he can be only one thing…A ZOMBIE! A zombie and a half breed animal! I feel as though I could faint from fright! COACH You just fall right into my lap, babygirl. Scott has Biff back on his feet and hits him with a series of forearm shots to the face. These leave Biff staggered, and Scott is able to wrap his arms around Biff’s waist. Within seconds he’s lifting him up and slamming him downwards with a sidewalk slam. Another pinfall attempt is made… ONE! TWO! Biff gets his shoulder off the mat at the last possible second. COACH So much for the Incredible Biff. Scott kicks Biff in the back repeatedly, gaining some retribution from earlier. Smiling as he does so, Scott even invites the referee to get in a few kicks. “Come on ye bastard!” Scott barks as he picks Biff off the canvas. Biff makes an attempt to fight back, winging left hands into Scott’s midsection. However the burly Scotsman shuts down the comeback with wellplaced knees to the head that leave his opponent dazed. QUEEN ESTHER I don’t promote or condone violence, but I think this Biff Atlas needs a good whack in the head. COACH Finally someone says it! Scott brings in Danny Boy with a tag, while still holding onto Biff. Scott’s grip permits The Celtic Thunder to climb to the second rope. With tongue hanging out, Danny leaps forward and strikes Biff’s arm with an elbow. COACH Where is BIFF SMASH, BIFF KILL, now? That’s what I wanna know! Biff staggers away, clutching his sore arm and trying to wring out the pain. Unfortunately this leaves him wide open to Danny Boy nailing him with a chop block! As soon as Biff falls to the canvas, the tongue wagging Irishman attempts a crucial pinfall. ONE! TWO! Biff finds the strength and will to kickout. “BIFF! BIFF! BIFF!” the fans sing, lead on by Vinny. QUEEN ESTHER My, my, I think these people are confused; his name is Danny, not Biff. COACH No they aren’t confused, they’re just stupid, and they relate to a lame ass as stupid as them. The Celtic Thunder brings Biff to his feet and inside a front facelock. He then backs up into his corner, where Scott slaps his back for a tag. Entering the ring, Scott makes his presence known by repeatedly battering Biff’s ribs with kick. Once the referee’s five count is finished and Danny is forced to leave the ring, The Braveheart pounds on Biff’s back with forearms. Biff winces in agony, as he tries to summon the strength that aided him so greatly early in the match. QUEEN ESTHER My loyal kings have slain the mighty dragon! I can breathe again! Esther spoke to soon as Biff begins striking back at Scott with left jabs. Having stunned the Scotsman, Biff traps him inside a front facelock. He calls for a vertical suplex, bringing cheers from the fans. But that joy is short lived as Scotts uses his strength to muscle over Biff with a Northern lights suplex. The referee counts the ensuing pinfall… ONE! TWO! Biff kicks out the pinfall, bringing forth a pop from the WDW audience. COACH The most annoying thing about Biff? He’s hard to kill off. Biff is back on his feet, and throwing right hands against Scott’s face. The Braveheart puts an end to that comeback attempt with a cruel rake of Biff’s grass green eyes. “BOOOOOOOOO!” Wile Biff struggles through the pain in order to regain his vision, Scott tags in Danny Boy. The celtic warrior, seeks to use Biff’s marred vision to his advantage and runs across the ring with arm raised for a lariat. But thanks to a warning from Vinny, Biff is able to detect Danny’s arrival and he swings around to deck him with a diving lariat. The fans are ecstatic over seeing Danny brought down with such a powerful strike. COACH Oh great he’s gonna make a hot tag to Vinny. QUEEN ESTHER Hot? Then simply pour water on him! COACH Even with an idiot like Biff its not that easy, your highness. Just as coach prediticted, Biff dives forward and makes the tag with Vinny Valentine! The WDW fans let out a solid cheer for The Disco Duck who rushes into the ring. “DISCO NEVER DIEEEEEEES, BAAAAAAAAAAABY!” Vinny shouts upon entering the ring. Danny greets his arrival with left and right hooks, but Vinny V soon overpowers his Mohawked foe with wild, winging punches. Weakening Danny with those shots, V-Squared is able to lift him onto his shoulders. Seconds later he throws him down with the Night Fever (Alabama Slam)! Vinny does a funky disco dance in celebration while Danny writhes in pain. The fans cheer as a critical pinfall is made… ONE! TWO! Scottish Scott breaks up the pinfall! This does not sit well with The Disco Duck and he hops to his feet in order to exchange blows with Scott. The Scotsman is overpowered by Valentine, and is forced to take a run to the ropes. Vinny takes his own run of the ropes, and when the warriors meet in the center of the ring, Valentine gives Scott a taste of his boogie shoes. With Scott laying completely KO’ed, Vinny takes a moment to perform some hip swiveling in Queen Esther’s direction. QUEEN ESTHER I can’t watch anymore! I can’t! I’d rather watch my father die a million deaths than this! As Queen Esther covers her eyes in fear, Vinny Valentine covers Scott. ONE! TWO! Danny Boy hurries into the ring and breaks up the pinfall with an elbow to Vinny’s head. This draws the unstable ire of one Biff Atlas… “BIFF RAGE! BIFF BURN YOU DOWN!” he bellows and then hammers Danny with mega powerful overhand punches. The attacks back Danny Boy into the ropes, where he sags weak and out of breath. “RAAAAAAAAAAWRRRRRRRRR!” The Californian screams into the night sky, before taking a mad run at Danny Boy. He connects a lariat with Danny’s chest, and the two gladiators go tumbling over the ropes. They land in a glob of humanity, while the audience compliments Biff for his newfound adrenaline surge. Meanwhile in the ring, Vinny has Scott set up for another Night Fever! The fans ready themselves to cheer the finisher. However, their excitement is a bit premature as Scott roles through the set-up of the hold. Vinny charges him but Scott captures Vinny onto his shoulders in sitting position! QUEEN ESTHER Is it safe to look? COACH In a second. That second sees Scottish Scott to spin around and sit out to slam Vinny face first into the canavs with a Collie-Buckie (Spinning front electric chair slam) “BOOOOOOOOOO!” The pinfall is made by the grinning Scotsman…. ONE! TWO! Biff reenters the ring, but is too late to help his partner. THREE! “BOOOOOOOO!” COACH You can look now, your highness. Your guys won! QUEEN ESTHER Oh hooray! Hooray! What a magical day it is! The fairies have blessed us! The Mohawked Mutants bang their heads together, grinning wildly over a hard earned victory. BUFFER The winners……THE LAST KINGS OF SCOTLAND! Queen Esther gives Coach a kiss on the cheeks and scurries off to celebrate with her men. COACH Hyuk, hyuk, aww shucks! Coach becomes decidedly less pleased when he realizes he has to sit next to JR again.

Not the best match I've ever wrote but its okay [i]*dun dun* *dun dun* *dun dun* *dun dun* WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ARRRRRRRRRRRE YOU? WHO WHO, WHO WHO! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ARRRRRRRRRRRE YOU? WHO WHO, WHO WHO![/i] Chris Stevens walks through the curtain and is showered by a respectful cheer from the Indiana audience. Stevens doesn’t much bother with the crowd’s kind reaction, and instead points to his video on the giant screens. With face held high he proclaims himself “The Greatest WDW superstar in the world!” PENZER The following contest is scheduled for one fall, with a 20-minute time limit! Making his way to the ring, hailing from Rochester, Minnesota, and weighing in at 221 pounds..."SENSATIONAL" CHRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSS SSSSTEEEEEEEEEVEEEEEEEEEEEENSSSSS!!!!! JIVIN JR Well, sir, Chris Stevens has major history in both the OAOAST and WDW. In the OAOAST he was best known for his constant run ins with that fat bastard Hoff and forming his own stable which included Jumbo. In WDW he flew high as Sensational Chris Stevens with memorable performances against guys such as Denzel Spencer. Now he works as a trainer down at OAOVW and this next man coming out has a problem with him. Upon entering the WDW ring the Sensational superstar poses to the camera, flexing his arms and barring his teeth. A wide smile then spreads across his face, evidence of how thrilled he is to return to live action. His attention then settles onto the entrance way, and his smile fades as this song begins playing.... A plume of white mist fills the entrance area as military inspired beat of "Jesus Walks" comes over the loud speakers. [color="#00FF00"] [b]Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum (Jesus Walks) God show me the way because the Devil trying to break me down (Jesus Walks with me) The only thing that that I pray is that my feet don't fail me now (Jesus Walks) And I don't think there is nothing I can do now to right my wrongs (Jesus Walks with me) I want to talk to God but I'm afraid because we ain't spoke in so long[/b] [/color] Through the thick fog of night, emerges Christian Wright and Lorelei DeCenzo. The God Child soaks up the bile from the audience, and then releases it with one powerful thrust of his arm into the air. Right at that moment green pyro blazes upwards towards the rafters. Looking splendid in a backless yellow gown, Lorelei joins him his side with a bright and bold smile. Together they hook each other’s arms and walk down the entrance ramp with heads held high in pride and contempt for the audience. COACH The new wave Jesus walks among us in Indiana. The God Child Christian Wright here to extend his unbeaten streak to fourteen! BUFFER And the opponent Now residing in Washington D.C... weighing in at approximately 8 and 1/3 BARS OF GOLD~! He represents THE ENTERPRISE and is "THE GOD CHILD"... CCHHRRRIIIIISSSTTIIIIIIAAAAANN... WWRRRIIIIIIIIIIGGHHHHTT!!!!! Lorelei situates herself along ringside, as Wright takes a graceful run up the ring steps. He enters the ring with applause aimed directly at himself. Once inside the squared circle The God Child sinks to his knees and begins worshiping his own mastery of the grapple arts. JIVIN JR I tell ya what I don’t like this kid’s attitude, but I love his winning streak. Takes a lot of guts to make that kind of promise. But what I don’t like is his commentary on the OAOVW system. I think they’re doing a great job down there. COACH Says you. Who have they produced since last December? Spencer, Collin and Morgan. Three people! And lemme tell ya a dead donkey coulda trained those three that’s how good they were when they started. Morgan started in the Nerdly family dungeon, you gonna tell me it was skinny ass Chris Stevens that taught her how to manhandle dudes three times her size? I ain't buying that, Jimmy Ross. DING DING DING Christian Wright runs across the ring to throw an elbow at Stevens. But Stevens avoids it by sliding out the way. CW snorts his disgust and retries that same elbow smash. Stevens ducks the attacking blow this time, and The Natural is forced to bounce off the ropes. On his return he gets punched in the jaw by his opponent. Wright staggers backwards, holding his hand to his sore face. Stevens nails him with several more jabs, before Wright can finally fend him off with kick from his loafers. The Natural then sends Stevens hurtling into the corner. He salutes himself and then charges across the ring and blasts him in the chest with a corner lariat. Stevens sags to the canvas, giving a Wright moment to create his own pomp and circumstance with a fancy bow. “CHRISTIAN SUCKS! CHRISTIAN SUCKS! CHRISTIAN SUCKS!” “SILENCE!” Wright chides the audience, as he brings Stevens to his feet. He then whips the WDW star across the ring, landing him against the opposite ring posts. Wright charges in after him, but finds himself taking an unfortunate crash into the turnbuckles when Stevens rolls out the way. JIVIN JR Chris Stevens was born to an affluent family just like Christian Wright was, and both have received the best training money can buy both in the OAOVW system and before that. Just like I provide the best anonymous truckstop hand jobs money can buy! Face flushed with anger, CW makes a dash at his opponent. But Stevens intercepts his arrival with a dropkick that lays out The God Child! A pin is then made… ONE! Wright easily kicksout the pinfall. He quickly comes to his feet, but is thrown under assault from forearms by Stevens. The shots hit quickly and force CW into a corner. He tries to cover himself up, but very little does that do to (I must have dyslexia!) guard against the dropkick Stevens slams against his face. As soon as Wright hits the canvas, Stevens is upon him, battering him with mounted punches. “KNOCK HIM OUT! KNOCK HIM OUT! KNOCK HIM OUT!” Wright's strength eventually allows him to make a hasty roll away from Stevens. The WDW Superstar hounds his escape however as Wright reaches the ring apron. Stevens grabs a chunk of his jet black hair and begins ripping him off the apron. But CW stuns both him and the audience by elbowing him in the throat. He then grabs onto the back of Stevens’ head and guides him to the ringposts where he slams Stevens face into the corner posts. JIVIN JR Good gawd, the force of that attack is off the charts! COACH I bet Stevens’ students are enjoying watching their teacher get his ass beat by The God Child. Wright renters the ring, and begins terrorizing his opponent with European uppercuts. He then hooks him inside a front facelock and begins attempting to lift him into the air. However, Stevens powers out of the hold and escapes Wright’s clutches. Leaving CW befuddled, Stevens runs into the ropes. He rushes forwards, arm crooked for a lethal lariat. But CW springs forward and catches him unawares with a shoulder block. “BOOOOOOOOO!” the fans hiss as both competitors touch down on the canvas. Getting to his feet, Wright replies, “THY NAME IS CHRISTIAN WRIGHT, THY FORM IS A GOD CHILD!” “YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!” The angered fans deliver their response. Stevens rolls out the ring, eager to catch a breather in the face of this powerful foe. Wright has no intentions of giving his opponent a moment to relax and quickly hurries himself out the ring. Stevens meets him with left hands, but is quickly overpowered by CW’s trademark European Uppercuts. With Stevens stunned by the blows, Wright grabs onto his arm and throws him into the ring steps. Stevens cries out in pain as the stairs dislodge from the attack. COACH This ain’t a fine welcome back to the ring for Chris Stevens. JIVIN JR It’s as good a welcome as a health inspector gets at a glory hole! Stevens struggles to get his feet, and his efforts aren’t helped any by The Gold Child rushing forward and punting him in the shoulder. Stevens falls over onto his back, providing CW with the chance he needs to drive his loafers into his now injured shoulder. JIVIN JR Coach, if you could turn yourself into a fart would you enjoy the way you smell? COACH I…uh….I don’t think so. JIVIN JR I don’t think you would either. Wright scrapes Stevens off the canvas, and then throws him back into the ring. Stevens squirms in pain, as The Natural reenters the ring with a smile on his face. He drops a series of elbows onto Steven’s arm, and then traps the limb into an armlock. JIVIN JR This is smart wrestling by Christian Wright, young man out Washington DC, beautiful biceps, well curved thighs, mouthwatering pecs and an ass that just doesn’t quit! Despite the incredible pain of the submission hold, Stevens manages to fight towards his feet. Wright attempts to tighten the hold, but that can’t prevent Stevens from completing his rise. Frustrated, CW flings Stevens backwards with an arm lock suplex! As Stevens touches down on the ring mat, Wright applauds himself for such a powerful show of athletic dominance. Once he's done lauding his remarkable skillset, Wright begins laying stomps against his foe’s weakened arms. COACH My man CW can teach a lot to not just the youth of OAOVW but the youth of America. He started out hot winning rookie of the year in 2005, struggled a bit, joined The Enterprise, stood in Mister Moneymaker’s shadow, and now he’s back at top form. This man has not let adversity or bumps in the road hold him back from greatness. Wright brings Stevens upwards and then uses his grip on his foe to launch his shoulder against the ring posts. Again Stevens hollers his sheer misery, which paints another smile on CW's face. COACH Christian Wright steady proving that OAOAST shits on WDW! OAOAST>>>>>HI-YAH>>SWF>>WDW>>WCW>>ECW>>>ROH>>>TNA>>>>>Aids>>>>Cancer>>>WWE Stevens stumbles away from the corner posts, clutching his badly wounded shoulder. CW lesiurley stalks his pace, which may not have been such a good idea as the WDW superstar rifles an elbow with his good arm into his face. This angers CW more than it hurts him, and he twists Stevens’ arm into a wringer as punishment for his refusal to capitulate. “CHRISTIAN SUCKS! CHRISTIAN SUCKS! CHRISTIAN SUCKS!” Christian uses his hold on Stevens’ arm to violently pull the WDW star forward and crash his shoulder into his. COACH The boy CW is just pouring salt in dem wounds. The man stay layin the beats on these fools they put in front of him. Students ain’t gonna respect Stevens no more, gonna have dudes shootin on him in the middle of training, sleeper holding that boy if he gets mouthy. Scissors kick that dude if he's caught lookin at the wrong ho. Refusing to fall full victim to Wright’s assault, Stevens begins using his good arm to pump punches into Wright’s jaw. Faced with the brutal strikes, Wright thinks quickly and settles things down with arm stunner onto his rival. COACH Jivin JR, just admit it, Christian Wright is that much better than everyone who comes through OAOVW or the OAOAST. He's even better than your old boys Black T. JIVIN JR That’s a load of horseshit, even bigger than the one the load I ate for breakfast! Wright applauds his mastery once more before attempting the second pinfall of the contest…. ONE! TWO! Stevens kicksout, causing a highly annoyed CW to have cruel words with the referee. JIVIN JR Don’t blame the referee, blame the blacks and the god damn Jews! At that point JR’s microphone is cut. Back inside the ring, CW traps Stevens inside a crafty shoulder lock. Stevens tries to claw at Wright with his free hand but this does little to affect The Centennial Man. COACH You hear that sound? That’s sound of me kickin’ back and smoking that green-green. The fans start to rally against the disliked Washington DC resident, and begin urging Stevens to fight for his freedom. Eventually, Stevens succeeds in granting their wishes as he starts pushing himself upright. But The God Child counters any comeback attempt by hitting Stevens with a Russian leg sweep. “Beautiful, Christian!” Lorelei cheers from the outside. CW drops a leg on Stevens arms and then goes for another pinfall… ONE! TWO! Stevens manages a kickout. He comes to his feet, but finds himself under attack from the overpowering punches of The Centennial Man. Having weakened his foe, Wright then snares him inside a front facelock. After a cruel, disdainful smile towards the fans he begins lifting Stevens for the [b]Conversion Rate[/b]. But Stevens unleashes a barrage of elbows into Wright’s midsection and The Centennial Man is forced to painfully stumble away. Eager to get back onto the attack, Stevens unleashes his signature superkick! But Wright ducks beneath the fast moving strike and runs to the ropes. Unfortunately as he returns he’s hit by a diamond cutter! “YEAAAAAAAAA!” the fans react while Lorelei has the exact opposite response. COACH Superkick, diamond cutter, these are all this dudes signature moves. Worried to the point of exhaustion, Lorelei hastily advises CW to roll out the ring. However, The Natural can make no such moves before he’s forced to his feet by Stevens. The Sensational superstar whips Wright into the ropes. Upon CW’s comeback, Stevens catches him in the jaw with a graceful dropkick. CW topples over, spit flying free from his opened mouth. COACH Gotta give it up to the man, that was one sweeeeeeet dropkick. Stevens charges to the ropes, but his progress is impeded by Lorelei, who's dug her hooks into his boots.. “BOOOOOOOOO!” the fans respond to Lori's tactics An angered Stevens starts to make moves to go after Lorelei, and the gorgeous diva quickly scampers away. Deciding to let bygones be bygones, Stevens turns towards CW. Unfortunately for him, CW is standing and recovered and pounces on Stevens to drag him to the canvas with an arm lock. Unable to withstand anymore pain to his arm, Stevens immediately submits. “BOOOOOOOOO!” BUFFER YOUR WINNER AS A RESULT OF A SUBMISSION…..CHRISTIAN WRIGHT! COACH If you wanna spend the rest of your career doing curtain jerking in front of twenty people in a middle school in Ohio, you’ll go see Chris Stevens and the OAOVW crew. But if you wanna learn to son lames, and hump dames, my man Christian Wright is now [i]your[/i] man Christian Wright. Wright gets to his feet and bows to the audience, as Lorelei enters the ring with microphone in hand. After Wright is done soaking in his own adulation he gently accepts the mic from Lorelei. WRIGHT From this day forth, I defiantly vow... no man, woman nor beast shall commit thine self to defeat! JIVIN JR Fourteen wins in a row for Christian Wright, what a way to close out 2009.

You filthy rotten scoundrel!!!!!!!!!!!! Last year you told me he was one!

VICE Vs PATD A skit with Biff and The LKOS

OLE Folks, back at November Reign we saw the battle between the team co-captained by Alix Maria Spezia and Alfdogg, defeated by the team lead by Leon Rodez and Reject. And plenty of experts will tell you that the turning point in that match was the first elimination, which was far from on the level. Bohemoth, Alix's secret weapon, taken out by a complete cheapshot from Reject's longtime tag team partner, Thunderkid. COACH It was glorious. For all you cheap bastards that didn't buy November Reign, here's what you missed out on. COLE ...see, this is why I do the intros into stuff like this. "God Of Thunder" powers through the arena. The arena goes dark as the music hits and the entryway lights up yellow, then fills up with yellow smoke. Emerging through the haze, Thunderkid smirks to himself as he makes his way down the aisle. BUFFER The following contest is set for one fall! Introducing first, from Green Bay, Wisconsin... weighing two hundred, fifty pounds. He represents THE DEADLY ALLIANCE... TTHHHUUUUUUNNDDEEERRRRRKKIIIIIIIIIIDD!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COLE Controversy still veery fresh in the minds of Bohemoth and his November Reign team-mates. Here's how Thunderkid reacted when we asked for his thoughts, earlier today. OAOAST A small square box SWOOPS~ in and settles on the upper right hand side of the picture. In front of the OAOAST HeldDOWN~! backdrop stands Thunderkid, with Melissa casually reading a newspaper. Whistling to himself, TK 'accidentally' bumps into Melissa, giving her a start. MELISSA Oh! Heavens! THUNDERKID (terrible wooden acting) Whoops. My bad. MELISSA My my my, TK, is that a roll of quarters in your pocket, or are you just pleased to see me? THUNDERKID Actually, it's a roll of quarters. *pulls out the quarters with a cheesy smile* MELISSA *jazz hands* HELDDOWN~! COACH COLE That's the worst acting I've seen since my mother last told me she loved me. Thunderkid stands in the middle of the ring, loosening up, not acting or joking around anymore. *BbwWbAhmotherfuckerLlIiiBbbEErRrAATtTeeyYyOUUurRrMmmMmMiIInNnDddDd!!* "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" The crowd explode as "Liberate" hits and out marches the 2009 Lethal Rumble winner. All business, Bohemoth marches straight to the ring, far from his usual cool, casual self. BUFFER And his opponent! From Greenville, South Carolina... weighing two hundred and eighty four pounds. He is "THE METEROSEXUAL MONSTER"... BBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO - HHHHHEEEEEEEMMMMOOOOOOOOTTHHHHHH!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Bohemoth slides into the ring and the fight begins as Thunderkid tries to get the jump on the bigman's way in! *DINGDINGDING* COLE Thunderkid wasting no time at all, I think he realises the mess he's landed himself in and wants to clean it up as quickly as possible. TK hammers away on Bohemoth, which isn't enough to keep him down. And once on his feet Bohemoth starts to fight back with some big right hands. Thunderkid is backed up by the punches, but Bo wants him in check and throws TK into a corner before dishing out some more right hands. COLE And look at Bohemoth go to work! No concealed coins here, just rock hard fists! COACH Rock hard closed fists! Whipping Thunderkid across the ring, Bohemoth goes for a charge in the corner. TK sidesteps though and Bo runs himself into the turnbuckles. Off the ropes, TK tries to take advantage as Bohemoth stumbles out. But Bohemoth cuts Thunderkid off with a mighty shoulder tackle! A stunned Thunderkid rolls back to his feet and walks right into a clothesline. Whipped to the ropes, the Green Bay native is then sent into the air with a BAAAAACK bodydrop~! COLE Woah! Thunder falling from the sky! Thunderkid falls against the ropes, reeling from the attack he's under. Bohemoth boots him in the gut and sends him off with another irish whip. This time TK manages to put the brakes on though, booting Bo in the shoulder. Bohemoth is now the one against the ropes and TK takes a run at him. A backdrop sends TK flying again, but this time he lands on the ring apron. And as Bohemoth turns around Thunderkid is waiting to hang his neck across the top rope. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" With Bo reeling, Thunderkid takes the rare trip to the top rope. Waiting for Bohemoth to turn around he then launches in with a Flying Shoulder Block!! COLE Wow! Big move from Thunderkid, who knew he could fly like that? Hook of the leg by TK... 1... 2... No! Thunderkid waits for Bohemoth to get up and starts teeing off with some punches. Pinpoint shots, up and down the body, plus a couple to the head. With Bo weakened he then turns and hits the ropes... and runs into a BIG boot to the face! COLE Ran right into that one though. COACH Come on TK, you're smarter than this big dummy. Regroup. Unable to do so, TK walks right into a Sidewalk Slam. Leg hooked... 1... 2... No! Bohemoth waits for Thunderkid to get back up, then delivers another clothesline, this time sending TK over the top to the floor! "YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COACH There we go, good move. Go outside and regroup. Smart. That's what it is. COLE Who are you trying to convince here? Bohemoth waits in the ring, allowing Thunderkid a little time to get his head sorted out. TK takes the referee's count of 6 before climbing back to the apron. Going to met him, Bohemoth gets caught with a shoulder through the ropes. And another one. Thunderkid then grabs the top rope and throws himself back inside, able to get a sunset flip... COACH See! SEE! 1... 2... No! Both men back up, Thunderkid goes for a big knockout of a right hand. Bohemoth ducks, then lands one of his own, knocking TK down. COLE Things aren't going Thunderkid's way here. That power game of his, not an asset when it comes to facing The Meterosexual Monster. Whipped into a corner, Thunderkid is blasted with a clothesline. Spit flies and Thunderkid looks winded. Scooped up over the shoulder by Bohemoth his situation doesn't improve any as the bigman runs him into the middle of the ring and delivers a big Running Powerslam! Cover... 1... 2... No! Bohemoth picks TK back up, but gets caught with a rabbit punch. And as he doubles over, a European uppercut. Thunderkid follows after Bohemoth, delivering a couple of boots to the gut. He then throws Bohemoth face-first into the top turnbuckle, exposing the kidneys for some free shots. COACH Thunderkid can do it all Cole. He's one of the hardest hitters in the OAOAST. And if you think he can't throw Bohemoth around, that he's not strong enough, you're counting my man down way too early. COLE I'm not doubting Thunderkid's strength. But it certainly hasn't come into play yet tonight. COACH Well, maybe he's pacing himself. COLE Gee, you're full of great observations tonight. COACH Why, thank you. After dishing out all the shots he can muster, TK takes a quick breather. He then goes to whip Bohemoth out of the corner, but gets reversed. Hitting the turnbuckles instead, Thunderkid staggers out and is lifted into a fireman's carry. A couple of elbows get TK free and he slips down the back, into a waistlock. Bo blocks a German suplex... and again. And then, he elbows his way out. Bohemoth whips TK to the ropes and tries to connect with another big boot. Reading the move this time Thunderkid ducks the boot and hooks the leg. Bohemoth is left off balance and thrown back with a back suplex, which TK bridges with... 1... 2... No! COACH And to think, you were doubting Thunderkid's strength. COLE I wasn't, I just said tha... COACH You'll never doubt him again, that's for sure. Boy do you look dumb now! COLE Are... are your headphones not working? Can you not hear me properly, is that it? Picking Bohemoth back up, Thunderkid summons some more of his strength and hits a T-Bone Suplex! Cover by TK... 1... 2... NO! Thunderkid lines Bohemoth up, a steely look in his eyes. He charges, looking for a clothesline. Bohemoth is ready though and NAILS Thunderkid with a body-shaking SPEAR!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE OH~! Do you think Thunderkid is a big Aaron Rodgers fan? Bohemoth jumps back to his feet and looks out at the crowd. And they respond. Thumbs Up. THUMBS DOWN~! COLE Here we go! Dragging Thunderkid to his feet, Bohemoth scoops him up for the Erotic Awakening. But Thunderkid kicks his feet like a madman and forces his away over the back. Bohemoth turns around and nails a right hand. But TK fires back. Right hand from Bo. Right hand from TK. Bohemoth lands another right, but then Thunderkid jabs him in the eyes! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" With Bohemoth momentarily blinded Thunderkid then hits the ropes and delivers the BICYCLE KICK~! COLE After the poke to the eye, not like this, surely! 1... 2... KICKOUT! COLE Wow, kickout by Bohemoth. Almost another injustice there. Thunderkid quickly picks Bohemoth back up and sets him for the Thunderbolt DDT. However, lifting Bohemoth up for it proves to be a problem. Bohemoth blocks the move twice, before countering with a vertical suplex. COLE Strength or no strength, I'm not sure Thunderkid should be relying on that Thunderbolt DDT to win this match. Holding his back as he gets back up Thunderkid is forced to duck as Bohemoth heads towards him with a clothesline. After narrowly avoiding one collision, he doesn't fare so well with the second, Bohemoth coming back off the ropes with a YAKUZA KICK~! 1... 2... KICKOUT! COLE Only two again! COACH TK, you're starting to look a little "dirty", wink. Maybe it's time to "do some laundry", wink wink. COLE You realise you're actually saying wink wink, right? At least give yourself that much dignity. As Thunderkid starts to pick himself up, he starts to adjust his tights, which gives everyone a few suspicions. Including Bohemoth, who snatches TK by the arm. Thunderkid responds with a left hand, sucker punching Bohemoth. Forgetting about his tights Thunderkid then tries an irish whip. After a reversal and a couple of counter-reversals, it's Bohemoth who finally gets the whip, throwing Thunderkid into the turnbuckles. Bohemoth then comes charging... right into a boot to the jaw! COLE Oh, Bohemoth got caught coming in! Bohemoth staggers back and gets tripped by Thunderkid, who stacks Bo up AND PUTS HIS FEET ON THE ROPES!! COLE WAIT A MINUTE! THE FEET! 1... 2... 3!!!!! COACH YES~! COLE You've gotta be kidding me! *DINGDINGDING!* Thunderkid leaps off the ropes and rolls straight out of the ring, as Bohemoth sits up and looks around bemused. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match... TTHHHUUUNNDDEEERRRKKIIIIDD!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COLE I don't believe it, Thunderkid just STOLE ONE! Eyes widening, Bohemoth glances to the referee who is raising Thunderkid's hand in victory and jumps to his feet. Thunderkid starts to back up the aisle a little quicker and the referee decides that's the safest route as well, as Bohemoth curses to himself and lashes out in the ring. Hands on hips, he looks around and shakes his head in frustration. COLE That's twice that Thunderkid has screwed Bohemoth out of victories. And this one may be even more of a sickener than November Reign. Bohemoth continues to brood over his tainted loss as he leaves the ring. A couple of fans hold out their hands to Bo, but he's too caught up in his frustration to respond and curses out loud at what happened. FADE OUT

-OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT- We come to the OAOAST Arena The view switches to festively beautiful sofa central. The area has been painstakingly converted into a Holiday fantasy land, littered with fake snow as well as Christmas and Hanukkah decorations. COACH Word to Mikey's mom stank pussy, its time to get ya whiskey and gin on with OAOAST HeldDOWN~! COLE I hate when you do the lead off. Folks, happy holidays from our family to your's. We are in Tony Brannigan's favorite city of Long Island, New York. The fans are raucous here tonight! CROWD Zzzzzzzzzzzzz COLE I said the fans are raucous here tonight! FAN EAT A DONKEY DICK, BITCH. COLE Folks, we still have a wonderful show with The Can Am Assassins in action as well as the long awaited contest between Bohemoth and ThunderKid in our mainvent for the evening. A true holiday treat! COACH A true holiday treat for me would be you getting kicked in the nuts. “Tom Sawyer” by Rush plays the Can-Am Assassins to the ring. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Already in the ring… first, from Kansas City, Kansas… BUTCH SIMMONS! And from Springfield… MILHOUSE SIMPSON! Both men wave to the crowd. BUFFER And their opponents, total combine weight 488 pounds… FELIX STRUTTER and KEN PANTERA… THE CAN-AM ASSASSINS!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Pantera and Strutter are quick to remove their windbreakers, both eager to get the action underway. * DINGDINGDING * The bell sounds and Pantera starts off with Simpson, a scrawny young man with bowl shaped haircut. They lockup and Pantera delivers a clubbing blow, followed by a scoop slam. Short-arm clothesline turns Simpson inside-out! Pantera tags out and Strutter lets Simpson do the same, paint brushing him along the way. COLE Is that really called for? The kid’s clearly overmatched. COACH Felix is just sending a message, Cole. Everybody is as we head into the new year. Strutter knees the short and stocky Simmons on the way in, but Simmons fights back and gets the better end of an exchange! COLE Oh yeah! Simmons whips Strutter in for a dropkick, then scores with an elbow drop. The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Simmons attempts a vertical suplex, but Strutter floats over and hits a DOUBLE-ARM DDT! The cover. ONE! TWO! THR-- NO! Strutter wants to inflict more damage, no doubt in response to being shown up moments ago. He stomps away on Simmons, then whips him in for a POWERSLAM! The cover. ONE! TWO! NO! Strutter again breaks the pin, this time laughing as he points to Pantera. The CAA tag and Pantera executes a GORILLA PRESS SLAM before locking on THE FULL NELSON!!! Simmons submits immediately. * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, here are your winners… FELIX STRUTTER and KEN PANTERA… THE CAN-AM ASSASSINS!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Another dominating outing by the Can-Am Assassins, Coach. Replay: double-arm DDT, gorilla press slam and full nelson COACH … Pantera locks on the full nelson and Butch Simmons surrenders faster than a Frenchman. COLE Now let’s go up to our broadcast colleague Tony Brannigan in the ring with the Can-Am Assassins. BRANNIGAN Thanks very much, guys. Christmas is one week away, but if the Can-Am Assassins have their way, they’ll receive their gifts next Saturday night when WDW presents its 5th anniversary show, Season’s Beatings. STRUTTER Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. Next Saturday night our wish of becoming the World tag team champions comes true. And to do it against the only team to ever hold the WDW tag titles on the night we celebrate the old girl, well, it don’t get no sweeter than that. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Heads turn as LORELEI DECENZO enters the ring. LORELEI Pardon the interruption, but did you just rebuff my offer? I mean, you’re talking about the match with Team Heyross like it’s for the gold. Am I right or wrong? STRUTTER No, little girl, you’re right. So you can take your offer and use it as a dildo! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" LORELEI STRUTTER But hey, listen up, baby, there’s a brother down in Florida who may be interested. Why don’t you give him a call or text? I’m sure he’d be up for a couple of holes. LORELEI Lorelei SLAPS Strutter! Then all hell breaks loose when SPENCER REIGER and CMJ ambush the Can-Am Assassins! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Colin CLIPS the knee of Pantera as Reiger knocks Strutter out with a pair of BRASS KNUCKS. COACH This must be plan B, Cole. Placed in the BOSTON STRANGLER, Pantera is defenseless against the series of measured knee drops by Reiger to his leg. COLE They’re trying to make sure the Can-Am Assassins don't make it to Seasons Beatings! OAOAST officials storm the ring and ultimately get the situation under control. COLE Order’s been restored, but the damage has been done. Everybody knew how much being the ones to dethrone Team Heyross meant to CMJ and Spencer Reiger, but I don’t think anybody envisioned this kind of devastation when they said nobody was safe until the gold was theirs. COACH I’m speechless, Mikey. COLE We’ll try to have an update on the condition of Ken Pantera before we go off the air. If no, be sure to check OAOAST.com or this weekend’s Syndicated program for more information. COMMERCIAL

We sit inside a well organized and large office. Behind a desk filled with neatly ordered papers and documents is Chris Stevens. To his front, Tony Brannigan sits. The legend turns to the camera and speaks. TONY Hello, I am Tony Brannigan and I’m sitting inside the head office of OAOVW, and with me is my co-trainer, Chris Stevens. Chris good to have you back on camera on OAOAST television. CHRIS STEVENS Thanks, Tony. Been a long time since I’ve been up her. Um, where to start. I suppose I’ll start by saying, Christian Wright is way off base about OAOVW and what we do down there. I always say, we can’t promise you’ll be a millionaire, we can’t promise you world championships, all we can promise is a chance. And that chance is to be the best you possibly can. TONY Its noble work what we do down there. CHRIS STEVENS We’ve got kids coming in from all types of backgrounds. Some were former football players, others were just kids in the marching band, some are in their teens, some are in their thirties. But no matter who you are, we do everything in our power to make you succeed. Don’t we? TONY That’s damn right . CHRIS STEVENS We’ve put a lot of bodies into the OAOAST. The Last Kings of Scotland, Spencer Reiger, CMJ, D*LUX, Lucius Soul,J-MAX. Those are some of our graduates, and we’re all incredibly proud of them. TONY Many of them are doing great things right now. CHRIS STEVENS Christian Wright never came to OAOVW, he went right straight to OAOAST television. And that’s good for him, I admit that. But he has no idea what we’re doing down there. His judgements are so far off as to be insane. We’re providing a great future for these kids. He is not the answer. He is not the one who should be instructing our kids. He’s high on talent, but very low on character. I don’t care about his winning streak. At season’s beatings I just want to show him the OAOVW way is the right way. Christian Wright, prepare to be taken to school. COMMERCIAL

CONFESSIONS OF A KRISTAHOLIC A short film by Molly Nerdly Starring.... MAYA DUNCAN-BLANCHARD JADE RODEZ-DUNCAN ALIX MARIA SPEZIA Our setting is a community center gymnasium. The finely swept and polished venue plays host to a support group, twenty people strong. They sit in the center of the gym, fiddling nervously, or talking amongst themselves. In this circle sits Alix, Maya, Jade, and Terry Taylor. TERRY Welcome to Kristaholics anonymous. I’m tonight’s facilitator, Terry Taylor. I see we have some new faces in the crowd. Please introduce yourself if you don’t mind. Folded arms and thin frown are indicators Maya has no intention of starting the meeting. This leaves Jade to open the moment of healing. Prodded on by the hurrying gaze from her sister, Jade rises to her feet. JADE Ummmmmm….my name is Jade, and I’m a…uh…. Maya kicks Jade in the shin to speed up her memory. JADE Okay, okay! I’m Jade and I’m a Kristaholic. ALL Hi, Jade! JADE I really…uh….I don’t know what I’m doing here. Alix told me we were going to a chilli cookoff. MAYA You should have known something was wrong when her chilli recipee read “If Jade refuses to come, sedate her with horse tranquilizers. JADE Well, mom means a lot to me. Even though we only started a mother/daughter relationship a few years ago, I feel this kind of deep connection that’s impossible to explain. I feel we’re more than just mother/daughter, its almost like we’re two halves of a whole. She is me, and I am her. I guess that’s why when Uncle Leon broke her arm, my arm hurt to. Uncle Leon was a major part of my life, part of who I am is because of him, but….he hurt my mother, and that hurt me to. I don’t want to wish harm on him, but…. MAYA Well, I’m not so diplomatic! I don’t know Leon, and I don’t care to know Leon. I’ve seen him bringdown my sister, break my mother’s arm, and treat Morgan like a slave. I know all I need to know about him. I’ve been learning a couple holds from dad, and I’d consider it Christmas morning to just slap on an armbar and send him crying back to whatever satanic hicktown his type of gutter trash spawns. Going after my mother, is like going after my life. TERRY I believe we all share similar viewpoints in this meeting. Terry extends a warm and welcoming hand to Alix. After a small stutter of hesitation, the Hollywood Bad Girl rises to address the crowd. ALIX Hi, my name is Alix and I’m a Kristaholic. ALL Hi Alix. TERRY Welcome to our group, Alix. ALIX Um, I’ve been a Kristaholic for, like, maybe ten years. I totally have tried to quit like, in 07 and stuff, I tried to find a different fix and that totally worked out great, but then I realized I was sleeping with the lesbian Hitler. So that kinda sucked. WOMAN I made a replica model of Krista out of beans and tofu. But I ate her left forearm. ALIX Cool story, bro! So, like, I’m totally devoted to getting my Krista fix. I mean there were some rough patches and stuff, like the time in college she backed into me with her Accord, and yelled at me for scratching her spoiler. I wasn’t too cool with her kicking me in the ribs to wake me up either. Or her plan to dump my body into a toxic waste dump if I was dead. And whenever I wanna, you know, do a little lesbo boggie woggie and she doesn’t she’ll get all teary and say my mom died. And sometimes she forgets to tell me she’s kidding! I had to pay off a two thousand dollar casket ‘cause of her! I hate how she gives her stupid money to stupid poor people, like they need it. Uh hello you live under an overpass, I don’t think a shopping spree at Pier One is gonna help when you have to fend off other hobos with a stick. JADE Hey, don’t use that kind of homophobic slang. MAYA She said hobos not homo. Flat chested, and deaf. You’ll make a great catch for a lucky man someday! JADE I am not flat chested! MAYA Compared to Molly or Mom your chest might as well be pavement at Daytona. MOLLY To be placed on the same level as breast royalty like Krista…it is an honor! GROUP LEADER TERRY TAYLOR Girls, lets keep our attention on Alix. ALIX But I love how smart she is, she totally has the I before e except after c thing down pat! I’m still trying to figure out the function of conjuction junction, stupid School House Rock, I hope a really fat Asian dude sits on your face! And farts! Anyway, you all know how drop dead gorgeous she is. Literally, a weird little Russian dude at FYE dropped dead after he saw the cover of our swimsuit calendar. I love the way she licks whip cream off me, because, oh man, is that hard to get off in the shower. ALIX And most of all I love her two wonderful daughters. They’ve, like, totally let me into their lives, and that’s just really awesome. Like, I really feel that they’re my own children. And I so wanna protect them from all the really crappy things and really crappy people out in this world. And Leon Rodez he’s one of those really crappy people. Probably the crappiest! And, I guess that’s why I’ve got to fight him again. MOLLY Pursuing Leon Rodez is both highly dangerous and unwise. Are you sure that’s the path you wish to take? ALIX Totally sure! A countout victory isn’t enough, I owe it to Krista, to Jade, to Maya, to all of you, and to myself to not just get revenge or whatever, but to, like, be there and stand strong against Leon. That’s why I’m giving him a rematch for my Us Title. There’s a lot of things I can’t do, I can’t fly to the moon on Oprah’s back, MOLLY So much for the US space program, I suppose. ALIX I can’t do long division, MOLLY You can’t do long division? JADE I can’t do it either. MAYA Gee, what a surprise. ALIX I can’t go down on someone in a moving car without getting motion sickness. But what I can do is kick Leon Rodez BUTT! Bad, bad, bad! Who’s with me?! ALL Yeah! ALIX THIS IS SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! ALL EXCEPT MAYA RAAAAAAAAWR! RAAAAAAAAAAWR! ALIX SEMPER FI, MARINES! ALL EXCEPT MAYA HOORAH! ALIX HOORAH! MAYA Why must I be subject to such insanity every waking moment of my life? Please, god, let your humble servant be free. Cue the peppy rock track and fade out. COMMERCIAL

Its back! The interview lounge is back and sporting a brand new look! Inside it Josh Matthews stands in front of the bar with… MORGAN NERDLY JOSH Hello, everybody, I’m Josh Matthews standing beside OAOAST Women’s Champion Morgan Nerdly. Morgan is highly uncomfortable with the spotlight being cast on her. MORGAN Um……hi. JOSH Morgan, at New Year Spectacular it will be you facing Holly for your women’s title. Morgan looks down and offers a small sigh. MORGAN Yeah, it will be. JOSH And it will be a no disqualification match as well. Does that worry you? Growing all the more nervous, Morgan begins chewing her hair as she talks. MORGAN Gee, um….I dunno. I…I…never wanted to hurt her….but she and Josie….um….you can only be pushed so far before you, um, snap. Yeah. I guess everybody has their breaking point, but mine comes a lot shorter than others. I’m trying to work on that, I want to be a good person, but…. JOSH Let’s talk about why you’re not a good person. Because, really you aren’t. What makes you such a bad person is your disease. You’ve become your disease. You are nothing else but your mental illness. MORGAN What are you talking about? JOSH I’m talking about, why your family wants to disown you? Zzzzzzzt MORGAN Josh….. JOSH Why you can’t ever have a normal relationship. MORGAN Don’t…. JOSH Leon Rodez is just using you. I can’t believe you don’t see it. He doesn’t love you. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzt MORGAN He does so! JOSH No he doesn’t. No one could ever loved such a damaged and weak person. You’re destined to die, cold, alone, and probably by suicide. I bet it will be weeks before everyone discovers you hanging from a noose, because no one would notice or care if you went missing. No one. Zzzzzzzzzzt With all the might in her little body, Morgan lifts Josh up and slams him onto the bar counter. Glasses and drinks spill everywhich way, as Josh begins crying in panic. MORGAN I….I….tried to be nice, I was trying to be normal. But you won’t even let me have that! You just see me as this…monster! Well, I don’t care anymore, I’ll be the monster you all want me to be! I’ll give you a monster! Maybe, I will die alone, but not before I take all of you with me! JOSH Wait! Wait! Stop! Please, god, stop! Stop! MORGAN Shut up! JOSH Don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me. Holly made me do this! MORGAN I said shut up! Quit talking! JOSH No! No! Its true, its true! She and Logan…he…he…he had me in an armbar! Holly said he’d break my arm if I didn’t do this. MORGAN Liar! You’re just like everyone else! You don’t care! You don’t care! I’ll make you care, I’ll make you hurt as bad as I hurt everyday! JOSH No! I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I’m sorry! It was Holly and Logan! BOOM! Holly emerges onto screen in a most massive way, toppling Morgan by ramming a speaker into her head. As Morgan writhes on the ground in severe agony, the cowardly announcer is chased away by a snarl from Holly. The Angel Of Death soon draws a smile onto her face while she positions herself behind a monitor. That smile gives way to an explosion of laughter once she tips a monitor onto Morgan. The champion screams in agony; her cries only draw stomps to the head from Holly. HOLLY Sweet dreams. COMMERCIAL

Wilt thou be around to post Seasons Beatings to this humble corner of the internet?

Hey, gang, I may have to post this show on the 19th. Unless somebody wants to step in and do it earlier, but I figure you all wouldn't mind the extra time.

Tony, he who holds the show in his posting hands, design us simple inartistic minds an entrance set No DQ OAOAST Womens Title Morgan Nerdly Vs Holly

OAOAST Syndicated! With JESSE VENTURA TONY SCHIAVONE LEAD CORESPONDENT TONY BRANNIGAN SIDEKICK MAYA DUNCAN-BLANCHARD AND HOST ALIX MARIA SPEZIA Brought to you by American Express Alix was out of the studio due to a photoshoot for Vouge magazine in Maui, and Maya was absent from studio due to being grounded for enjoying a Christian Wright match. Sooooo we were left with a guest host..... GARY THE GAY RAT Gary The Gay Rat slaughtered the crowd with a killer monologue. Some of his gems, "Squeak, squeak, squeak. Squeak squeak!" and, "Squeak....squeak....squeak? Squeak!" And lest I forget, "Squeak squeak squeak. Squeak!" And a true classic "Squeak, squeak? Squeak! Squeak!" ***D*LUX (w/Maya and Jade) Vs Eskimo Kid, and James Riggs*** EK and D*LUX shook hands before the contest begin. But embittered veteran James Riggs spit in the direction of Tyler and Shayne, and barley had a word to utter to his partner. Starting the match, Riggs got early control over Tyler. But that control was short lived as Tyler got the upperhand during a chain wrestling sequence. He and Shayne worked over Riggs, who complained about a lack of help from Eskimo Kid and a biased referee. Eventually Riggs was able to sneak away from D*LUX to make a tag with EK. The Kid looked sharp in the early onset of his turn in the match, trading strikes and holds with both Tyler and Shayne. Unfortunately that did not last long as the teen idols asserted their dominance over EK. The Kid tried to battle back, but had no choice but to seek a tag from Riggs. The veteran was uncooperative and jumped off the apron to leave the match. But before he could make an escape MAYA grabbed hold of him and threw him back into the ring. After that humiliation, he was nailed by a TRIPLE Hit Me Baby One More time by D*LUX and Eskimo Kid for the pinfall. Winner:, D*LUX, via pinfall. ONE & ONLY QUOTE OF THE WEEK HOT NEWZ this week: Lorelei DeCenzo offers the Can-Am Assassins a night they’d never forget in exchange for going through with a NON-TITLE match at WDW Season Beatings. “We could have a little Tex-Mex before heading back to my place for a nightcap; help stuff my taco with extra beef.” Hot stuff, right? Anyway, Lorelei gives the Can-Am Assassins until HeldDOWN~! to sleep on it. Next up was "So you think you can dance:OAOAST edition" hosted by the party starter himself, Vinny Valentine on the entrance stage. V-Squared welcomed Molly Nerdly, Simon Singleton, Clem Buzzlefoxer, and Dr.Max Anderson to the dance floor. First up was Singleton, who was pretty fly for a white guy with this dance Dr.Anderson was up next. The Windy City hunk left the ladies drooling and lusting after his finely scuplted body with a sensual stripping routine that left him in only a pair of skimpy bikini briefs. Senior official Clem Buzzlefoxer took the floor next, and suffered a flash back to WWII ! With the Axis powers storming "the base" Clem took extreme measures.... Fortunately Simon superkicked him before any harm could be done. While the 86 year old man recovered from a brutal kick, Molly stepped onto the dance floor. Once again Molly got a little girls gone wild in her.... Before Vinny could turn it over to the audience to vote, The Last Kings Of Scotland and Queen Esther appeared on stage. They derided Vinny for his segment, insisting that he should be focused on their match at WDW's Season's Beatings. The Kings claimed they'd roll right through PATD on their way to the Anderson Cup. Vinny said that he could spend every night partying to the crack of dawn, and he and Biff would still be ready to roll. Biff came onto the stage to second those thoughts, and promised a victory to all the fans. The Kings and Esther merely laughed at this guarantee, calling Biff a third rate jobber to the stars, and insulting him for his belief in superpowers. Tempers flared at that point and Biff ended up knocking down The Kings with two punches to their jaws! At that point Simon and several referees interjected themselves to prevent further brawling. The Kings and Esther slinked away, promising revenge in the future. "The Most Interesting Wrestler in the World" LANDON MADDIX "I don't always wrestle, but when I do, I wrestle for the OAOAST....stay thirsty my friends (lol I used KC's character, but he's english so he prbly doesn't get the joke!) ***CPA W/Bosley Vs Baron Windells W/Melody and Tim Cash*** BW worked over the arm during the early parts of the contest. Eventually that strategy wore thin, and CPA was able to lariat BW over the ropes. Lying prone on the ground, BW was hit with repeated stomps from Bosley, until Melody threatened him with her toy lightsabre. Back inside the ring, the two warriors traded heavy blows. The former boxer, CPA, gained the upperhand and took over the contest. He locked down BW with a variety of holds designed to target the neck. CPA then tried an uncharacteristic move; he went to the top rope, heedless of Bosley's warnings not to do saw. Off he came with an axe handle, but BW caught him in the chin with a dropkick. From there it was all Baron up until he hit the Brigham Young Cocktail (Leaping DDT) for a victory. Winner: Baron Windells, via pinfall Lead corespondent Tony Brannigan caught up with Holly, who had somehow commandeered a Nerdly family album. She thumbed through the pages, narrating several pictures. But she noticed something peculiar; Morgan was hardly featured compared to the other kids. According to Holly this meant that even her own family wanted nothing to do with her. Holly continued on to say that the OAOAST officials want nothing to do with her, and they only hired her because of her last name. The Angel Of Death promised that she'd rectify the OAOAST's mistakes. Tony also had good news for Holly; he had been reliably informed that the OAOAST had made their NYS match a no DQ battle! Holly was thrilled, and promised Morgan wouldn't escape the fight without mortal wounds. (That's Scottish Scott btw) JUST ADDED The Deadly Alliance (Reject, Thunderkid, Sandman9000, Mr. Dick, Arturas) vs Team WDW (Alfdogg, Team Heyross, Deuce Deuce Bigelow & Jumbo) Team WDW took advantage early with a World title shot on the line for Alf. After getting the better of a ring-clearing brawl, Team Heyross took over on Thunderkid, working on his arm. TK was able to escape and tag out to Mr. Dick, who quickly fell victim to the same treatment. Deuce & Jumbo worked their way into the match, overpowering MD until Arturas landed a shot from the apron to Deuce. Reject and Sandman then took turns pummeling Deuce, getting several near-falls. Deuce was finally able to evade a high-risk move from Sandman, and made the big tag to Alf. Alf took turns clotheslining Sandman and TK, then delivered a belly-to-belly on TK, before being blindsided by Arturas. Arturas lifted Alf in a two-handed chokehold, but Alf went to his eyes, then kicked him low. Arturas backed into a corner, where Jumbo and Deuce hit a double-avalanche, and held him in the corner, while Mr. Dick fell victim to a double goozle from Team Heyross and a Five-Star Alf Splash. Benjamin tripped up Reject to prevent him from breaking the three-count, earning Alf his opportunity at Season's Beatings. WINNERS: Team WDW

And so it is decided. Let us move forth with courage and unfailing vision for tomorrow.

Next week's probably a busy week for you people (Christians), because of Christmas, so I ask you would you rather just do Syndicated for the week and skip HD~! or would you like to do an actual HD. Before you answer don't forget that Saturday is the WDW show, so if we did do a HD you'd have to write for that and WDW. But if we did Syndicated, you'd just have to write a few paragraphs. Answer me!!!!!!!!!!

2 votes for Syndicated only! 2 votes! Do I hear a 3rd? A 4th? A 5th?

Wait, I don't get it. Are Long Island crowds typically dead?

Left space for mainvent. Fill! Fill! Fill!

D*LUX will be in ackshun against Eskimo Kid and James Riggs

How about on both sides of the entrance stage there are tall letters that spell out WDW and flash various colors, in the center wrestlers enter through a semi sphere made to look like Earth, the water parts would serve as video screens while the countries remain green. On top of the world a gigantic sword is plunged into it.

BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall... and it is for the OAOAST UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP!! "Oh (hey!), I've been travelin' on this road too long Just tryin' to find my way back home But the old me's dead and gone Dead and gone And oh (hey!), I've been travelin' on this road too long Just tryin' to find my way back home But the old me's dead and gone Dead and gone, dead and gone..." The opening to "Dead And Gone" by T.I. fades into "Numb" by Linkin Park. Boos rain down on Leon Rodez the moment he steps through the entrance, a scowl fixed on his face. Leon slowly stalks down the ramp, backed up by Morgan Nerdly a few, equally slow, strides behind. Coming to a stop in the middle of the aisle, Leon then looks up, Morgan falling to a knee beside him, as the song suddenly erupts and the lights flash back and forth from purple to white static "I'VE BECOME SO NUMB I CAN'T FEEL YOU THERE BECOME SO TIRED SO MUCH MORE AWARE! I'M BECOMING THIS ALL I WANT TO DO IS BE MORE LIKE ME AND BE LESS LIKE YOU!" Staring down at the ring, Leon looks almost curious as he heads towards it. BUFFER Introducing at this time, the challenger. Hailing from Grand Rapids, Michigan and weighing in tonight at two hundred, eighteen pounds. Accompanied to the ring by the OAOAST Women's Champion, MORGAN NERDLY... ladies and gentlemen, he is the former OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion... "THE FALLEN IDOL"... LLLEEEEEEOOOOOOONN... RRRRRROOOOOOOODDEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Climbing into the ring, Leon walks across. Brushing past the referee and Michael Buffer as if they weren't there he leans over the ropes, staring coldly down at Sofa Central. COLE It looks like Leon has... uhm... got his eye on us. And... well, who knows why? COACH I dunno why, but whatever, it's damn uncomfortable. Leon continues to stare down on the announcers, even as "Sexy Bitch" begins to pump through the arena and the crowd climb to their feet. "She's nothing like a girl you've ever seen before Nothing you can compare to your neighbourhood hoe I'm tryna find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful The way that booty movin I can't take no more Have to stop what i'm doin so I can pull up close I'm tryna find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful" A gigantic cheer goes up, as a Neon Lit bar named "Alix’s" rolls onto stage, with patrons and all. Attired in dead sexy white booty shorts and a matching faux fur white bikini top with silver boa, Alix sips from a martini glass, care free and happy as can be. That is until she looks up and realises that the bar is actually moving and it's not just the effects of inebriation. She jumps off the bar and blows a kiss to the screen, as super imposed red lips pop up! BUFFER And the opponent! Hailing from Los Angeles, California! She is your reigning and defending OAOAST UNITED STATES CHAMPION... AAALLLLLIIIIIXXXXXXXXX... MMMAAAAARRRRRRIIIAAAAAA... SSSSPPEEEEEZZZZZIIIIIIAAAAAAA!!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Alix happily skips down the ramp, tossing her silver boa to the most attractive girl she can find. She slides into the ring and prances around, playing to the crowd, which is enough to draw Leon into turning his head slightly. COACH Oh thank God, I think we're safe. Handing over the US Title, Alix waves it goodbye, as if it were a pet being handed over to neighbours for a week. Leon sees his opening and nudges Morgan aside so he can get the jump on Alix... but she sees it coming and ducks, before firing away with right hands of her own! "YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COLE And we are underway! *DINGDINGDING!* Alix strikes fast and strikes often, keeping Leon on the back foot. An irish whip attempt is reversed by Leon, but Alix avoids danger with a baseball slide, right through Leon's legs. Leon turns around and suffers an inverted atomic drop, then a dropkick, sending him rolling out of the ring for some respite. COLE Rodez tried to get the jumpstart on the US Champion. But there's few stars of the OAOAST quicker than Alix Maria Spezia! COACH I assume you mean physically. And not mentally. COLE Oh, absolutely. Shooing away Morgan, Leon wants no help and reaches back into the ring to drag Alix outside as well. A quick pick-up sees Alix in trouble. And try as she might to fight her way out of Leon's arms, backfirst she's driven into the barricades! With the US Champion hurt, Rodez lifts her up again, this time ramming the lower back against the ring apron! Alix falls to her knees with Rodez ignoring the referee's demands to get the match back inside the ring. COLE Alix's speed and agility isn't doing her much good out on the floor though. Dragged across ringside by her hair, Alix is thrown into the guardrail face-first. Leon stops and turns away, again glaring at the announcers. COLE Leon seems oddly concerned with us here, but he ought to be worrying about the match. COACH Yeah. I haven't done anything! COLE We haven't done anything. COACH I ain't changing my story for you, chump-change. Leon's pre-occupation with Coachman and Cole backfires, as Alix shrugs him off and sends Leon face-first into the barricade instead this time! Staggering away, Rodez waits for Alix to move in and catches her with a toe to the gut. Aiming her towards the steel steps, an irish whip puts Alix in peril. Or so it seems. Until Alix jumps up onto the steps and BACKFLIPS off of them, landing on her feet on the other side!! "WHOOOOOOOOOOO!!" For a moment, time freezes, as Alix goes through her post-flip routine and turns around, expecting the judges' scores. Unfortunately, there are no judges. Or scores. There is Leon Rodez, rounding the ring steps trying to get to Alix. But as he turns the corner, Alix reacts and meets him with a dropkick, sending Rodez sprawling backwards and landed with a THUD against the ring steps!! "YYYYAAAAAAAAYYYYYY!!" Leon grabs the back of his head in pain and Alix does another, post-dropkick routine. COLE Are we in Tennessee!? Because all I see is 10s! COACH .....I wanna punch you so damn much right now. And you know what. Everybody watching, they wanna see it to. And I just might give'm what they want. So keep up with your lame shit. And think on. Leon crawls back up and is thrown into the ring by Alix. Quick to follow, the US Champion quickly heads to the top rope and gives a shoutout to her Californian friends, diving off the top with a crossbody block... 1... 2... No! Back up, Rodez takes a swing at Alix, but misses. A shove in the back sends him chest-first into the turnbuckles and as he staggers back, Alix leaps to the middle rope, coming off with a twisting crossbody... 1... 2... No! ALIX Hmmm... what conclusion should I draw from all this failure... Getting an idea Alix goes to the corner and waits for Leon to get back up. Then, she jumps up, using the BOTTOM rope to launch at The Fallen Idol with a third crossbody... but she gets caught! ALIX Man, no wonder I failed chemistry. Not letting her ineffective thought processes get her down Alix seeks to manoeuver out of Leon's grasp. With a few twists and turns she manages to do just that and turns her predicament into a swinging DDT on Rodez!! ALIX YAY CHEMISTRY! Cover... 1... 2... No! Retreating into a corner, Leon looks to be reeling. Perhaps as a trap though, as when Alix comes diving in at him with an attempted avalanche, he suddenly seems in complete control and catches hold of The Princess Of Los Angeles! Turning out of the corner, he then attempts to throw her all the way across state into Los Angeles, with a release Exploder Suplex!! COLE Ooh, Alix got caught that time. And now she may be in trouble. Alix lies hurt in the middle of the ring. Stalking her, Leon takes his sweet time over delivering a kick to the ribs. Alix rolls around in pain before suffering another kick. And then a third one, this time a stomp to the head. "LET'S GO AL - IX!" *clap clap clapclapclap* "LET'S GO AL - IX!" *clap clap clapclapclap* Turning to the crowd Leon looks out at them with disgust, as he kneels down and traps Alix in an abdominal stretch, purely to give him some free shots at Alix's ribs. COLE Look at this, just measuring Alix with every punch, every kick. COACH This is a dangerous man Cole. It's not even that he enjoys hurting people. It's as if that's what he thinks he needs to do. That's why when he comes over here, I'm like dust. The referee finally gets the hold broken and forces Leon to stand. Alix tries to pick herself back up, while Leon's gaze again wanders over to the announce table. This time not for long, as he concentrates on Alix, booting her in the gut. Whipped into a corner, Alix is crushed against the turnbuckles with a well-placed knee. Rodez then whips her across into the opposite corner and gets a run-up, launching himself with the SUPERMAN SPEAR!! Alix collapses in the corner and Leon slowly crawls away, eyes locked on her suffering. Morgan watches all of this from the outside, clung onto the ringpost. COLE Rodez with a big move, but he's not following up. Not even attempting to go for a cover. COACH All in good time, Michael. Leon stalks towards Alix again and in the corner, stands on her ribs, using the ropes to balance himself while he crushes the US Champ's insides! "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" Stepping down Leon ignores the referee's warning and throws another kick at the downed Alix. Alix rolls outside and suddenly Leon becomes interested in what the ref has to say. Which is the signal for Morgan to come over and give Alix a couple of half-hearted kicks, before she scampers back to the corner so as not to get caught. COLE Poor Morgan... I hate to say poor Morgan, after she just blatantly interfered in this match... but she almost looks sorry for doing so. This girl... I don't know what to think. Alix climbs back to the apron, which is a bit of a struggle in itself. Reaching over the ropes, Leon gives her a hand up to her feet, only to bring her in the hard way with a vertical suplex. Rolling over he doesn't go for the cover though, instead looking back at the announcers. COACH Dude, this is creeping me out. COLE (whispers) Don't worry, I'm here for you. COACH COLE ...I mean, me too. *ahem* As he starts to stand back up Leon is struck with a punch, fight left in Alix even if it is from the ground. Alix throws a couple more shots from her back before Leon delivers a stomp to subdue her. Waiting for Alix to sit back up, Rodez then comes off the ropes and delivers a Sliding Lariat! Again an opportunity presents itself to pin the US Champion. But Leon just kneels over her, quietly seething. COLE Sometimes you think that Leon is cold and calculating. But other times, you begin to wonder if he's just unstable. It could be both! Leon drags Alix back to her feet again. After a measured knee to the breadbasket, he takes Alix and lifts her into a fireman's carry. Rodez takes his time, picking his spot, then throws Alix up in the air... but Alix manages to hook Leon's head on the way down and take him over! COLE Unorthodox, but it worked. Rolling through to his feet, Rodez growls under his breath and charges at Alix... RIGHT INTO A SUPERKICK!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COLE OH, caught him with a superkick! Could that be it!? A pained Alix rolls on top and hooks the leg... 1... 2... NO! Leon quickly rolls away, trying to give himself time to shake off the cobwebs. "AL - IX!" "AL - IX!" "AL - IX!" "AL - IX!" As Alix gets back up she's only second to her feet, Rodez already up and charging in. Leon tries for a clothesline, but Alix goes behind and tries a rollup... 1... 2... No! Back up, Leon quickly goes to the ribs again with a boot, cutting Alix off. Stepping behind Leon sets up for a back suplex. But Alix flips out of it and lands on her feet. Ducking a clothesline, Alix hits the ropes and hooks onto Leon with a flying headscissors! COLE Alix is starting to build some momentum again. That's what Chicks Over Dicks live off of, momentum. COACH That and booze. And prescription drugs. Whirlybirding around, Alix comes to a stop and takes aim at Leon with a big running dropkick. A step back by Leon negates that though and Rodez grabs the legs of his former girlfriend, looking to trap her in the LIONTAMER! The crowd scream, in fear but also in encouragement for Alix. And she responds, twisting her body around and flipping Rodez away from her. COLE Nice escape by Alix. That's what a toned body can do for you. COACH Like you'd know. Alix is quickly back up and the first to put the boot in this time. Doubling Leon up the US Champion looks to the crowd and sets up, hooking Leon for Confessions Of A Kristaholic... ...but Rodez sticks his foot out, placing it on the middle rope. Alix stops, wondering why the referee is suddenly asking her to break her hold. And Leon capitalises, picking Alix up and hanging her throat-first across the top rope!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COLE What a cheap move that was! Looking relieved Leon takes in a few breathes, before suddenly sliding under the bottom rope and making a move over to the announce table. COLE Oh shi- COACH What did you go and say that for, dumbshit!? Leon stalks towards the table and very wisely, Coachman and Cole stand up, ready to run. The referee watches all this from the ring and yells at Rodez to get back inside. But The Fallen Idol is not listening. COLE Come on, get out of here! There's a match in the ring! Eyes glancing up at Cole, Leon finally makes a move forward... and rips the top off of the table, throwing it to the ground. Cole flinches... but needn't worry, as Leon starts to slowly pick apart the announce table, removing the monitors, the papers and anything else in his way. Once the table has been claned out Leon stares down at it and slaps the top with his fist, before turning away to go back to the ring. COLE I guess he didn't want us after all. He wants to use this table! COACH So long as my ass is safe, he can use whatever the hell he wants! Leon takes one last look back at the table, then goes to climb back onto the apron. But, Alix is up. Waiting for Leon, she bounces up and down on the middle rope. And when Leon turns around she flings her feet through the ropes, blasting Leon with a dropkick in the chest, causing Leon to go flying backwards and tumble up and over the announce table!!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" COLE OH... jeez... are we on? Leon ends up in a heap underneath the table and Alix steps back, happy to play along with the referee's count. "EIGHT!" "NINE!" Leon's head emerges from under the table, just in time to see the referee's count finish up and the bell to be called for! "TEN!" "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" *DINGDINGDING!* Alix jumps around like she's just won a gameshow, delighted at this countout win. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match as a result of a COUNTOUT... and STILL OAOAST United States Champion... ALIX MARIA SPPEEEEEZZZZIIIIAAAAAAA!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Leon claws his way up on the table, staring up into the ring at Alix... ...who is suddenly in danger, as MORGAN sneaks into the ring behind her. COLE LOOK! LOOKIT! MORGAN! The San Francisco crowd make a tremendous noise to try and warn their golden girl as Morgan creeps up behind Alix, her hands shaking. Getting ever more anxious with every step the Women's Champion gets within arms reach and starts to reach out... ALIX BOO!! MORGAN AAAAH! ...but Alix spots her coming and manages to freak Morgan out of her attack! Morgan hits the mat and sits up, fear stricken as she looks up at the smiling Alix. Obviously not wanting to spook the girl too much Alix begins to try and apologise. Which is when Leon darts out from behind the table. COLE WAIT A MINUTE! FROM BEHIND! Commandeering a chair Leon slides into the ring and before Alix can be warned by the crowd, he SWIPES at the backs of her knees with the side of the chair!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" Alix tumbles over and grabs at her legs as Leon starts to stomp away. Calling Morgan over, he then places the chair around Alix's right leg, to the horror of the crowd. COLE Oh no! Not this! He's going to break her leg! COACH Just like he did to Krista's arm! Pure hatred comes from the crowd as Leon backs into a corner, getting Morgan to lay on Alix's legs to keep her pinned down. Leon slowly climbs the turnbuckles, up to the middle rope. And he looks down at Alix, who is trying to squirm free. Suddenly, screams ring out around the arena and D*LUX sprint to the ring to make the save!! Leon spots them coming before the cameras and scowls, as he casually steps over the top rope and jumps to the apron. By the time Tyler and Shayne hit the ring, Leon is outside and his plan is thwarted, to his annoyance. COLE Thank goodness for D*LUX, because I think it was pretty clear what Leon Rodez had in mind. What he had in mind from the very first moment he stepped into the ring. Not to win the US Title. Not to beat Alix. But to put her on the shelf, like he did to Krista! Leon backs away from the ring with Morgan in tow, looking back at Shayne and Tyler who check on Alix. Not showing much in the way of anger, Leon continues to scowl, perhaps knowing how close he came to getting what he wanted. FADE OUT

-OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT- We come to the OAOAST Arena The view switches to festively beautiful sofa central. The area has been painstakingly converted into a Holiday fantasy land, littered with fake snow as well as Christmas and Hanukkah decorations. COLE Folks, we are live and on the air with OAOAST HeldDOWN~! Happy Hanukkah to all our Jewish OAOAST Marks and superstars like the Duncan family. I'm Michael Cole, alongside The Coach Johnathan Coachman. COACH What up, peeps? Mikey, we got another gigantic show tonight, don't we? COLE We sure do. Team Heyross makes a defense of their tag team titles, Mister Dick collides with the man mountain known as Jumbo, Morgan defends her belt against Melissa, and in our mainevent Alix Maria Spezia defends her Us Title against her arch rival and former lover, Leon Rodez. But right now we start with The Centennial Man Christian Wright! We go to the ring where MAGGIE NERDLY stands beside… CHRISTIAN WRIGHT MAGGIE What’s up ya’ll?! I’m here in the ring with HeldDOWN’s Centennial Man, Christian Wright. “BOOOOOOOO!” WRIGHT Hail, brave child! MAGGIE Aight, so at WDW: Season’s Beatings you’ve got the honor of facing former WDW and OAOAST superstar and one of OAOVW’s current trainers, Chris Stevens. WRIGHT Still your tongue, good friend, I consider not an honor nor pleasure to encounter Chris Stevens in fisticuffs. My cognizance of this chapfallen skirmish recognizes it only as thine opportunity to tender due justice to sir Christopher Stevens. MAGGIE What do ya mean by that? Due Justice? I don’t get it. WRIGHT Fear not, sharper minds than your’s lack the ultimate comprehension of my wisdom. My words speak to Stevens’ down-in-the-mouth dismal handling of one OAOAST development program. I, in my pulchritudinous performances, have given birth and life to countless opportunities for the youth of OAOVW. I do not bog them in the endless swamp of senseless tape watching and nongermane drills. Nay, young child, I am no Chris Stevens, perpetrator of those offenses. I am a god child with gifts far beyond that which any developmental system may provide. I graciously and generously offer the golden pillars, of stardom, success and mythical status all through kindly given oppurtunities to supplant my winning streak. Even those who fail in this most perilous of missions shall have their name known by history’s greatest scholars! I offer the wisdom of generations and hard won experience and I will gladly meed parcel and part to any OAOVW student requiring freedom from Chris Stevens’ shackles. Now with that let us begin my challenge anew! A half-Asian half-caucausin man with bright spiked blond hair strides down the entrance ramp. For an outfit her wears a zip up sleeveless blue shirt, a shoulder pad with a lion on it, criss crossing buckles around his chest, a black shawl around his waist and pitch black leather pants. BUFFER The opponent, from Toronto, Ontario, Canada, he is….KAGE-DACHI! DING DING DING the bell rings as Kage-Dachi enters the battleground. Kage-Dachi started the match off by offering The Centennial Man a handshake. Wright shuns such sportsmanship and instead strikes his opponent with a European uppercut. KD falls backwards into the ropes. He uses them to push himself back to CW with a lariat, but The Natural effortlessly brings him to the canvas with a drop toe hold. COLE Kage-Dachi at age twenty six is a two time OAOVW TV Title champion, and says his favorite OAOAST superstar of all time is Tony Brannigan. COACH Kind of interesting when you think about it, early on in CW’s career he had a high profile feud with Tony Branningan and Dan Black of Black T. Dachi begins to lift himself off the canvas, however he’s caught in a side headlock by The Centennial Man. The Natural torques and grinds on KD’s head, until the OAOVW trainee shoves him into the ropes. Upon his return, Wright is struck in the chest by a picture perfect dropkick from his rival! COLE Wow! Did you see the height on that dropkick. COACH Kid has got some ups, I’ll give him that. More annoyed than anything, Wright rushes back towards his feet. KD tries to overwhelm with clubbing forearms but The Centennial Man effortlessly blocks the strikes. He then traps KD into front facelock. Within moments he’s crushing the poor youngster with a vicious jack hammer! Referee Clem Buzzlefoxer counts the ensuing pinfall… ONE! TWO! But CW breaks the pinfall of his own accord. COLE Now how is this helping a young student? How does prolonging a beating teach anyboy anything? COACH He’s giving him a chance to fight back by not pinning him right away. Wright has KD trapped against the corner and uses that position to flail away at him with European Uppercuts. KD gets some life into him and proceeds to fight back with wild knife edge chops. But CW stops the comeback soon enough with a knee to the stomach. “CHRISTIAN SUCKS! CHRISTIAN SUCKS! CHRISTIAN SUCKS!” “SILENCE!” he calls shortly before battering the youngster with several more European Uppercuts. KD again attempts to fight back, but Wright has little difficulty in tripping him up with a double leg takedown. Before KD can even fight back Wright is rolling him into the Wallstreet Cloverleaf! In mere seconds the OAOVW trainee submits to Wright’s signature hold! BUFFER Your winner as a result of a submission…..CHRISTIAAAAAAN WRRRRRRIGHTtttt! “BOOOOOOOOOOO!” COLE Great lesson right there from Master Yoda. I’m sure Kage-Dachi learned a lot there about being a superstar. Yeah, right. COACH I hope he learned to get a better ring name! Wright is given a microphone for his familiar refrain… WRIGHT From this day forth, I defiantely vow... no man, woman nor beast shall commit thine self to defeat! LATER TONIGHT TAG TITLES ON THE LINE LOS CONQUISTADORS VS TEAM HEYROSS TONIGHT! TONIGHT'S MAINEVENT UNITED STATES TITLE ALIX MARIA SPEZIA VS LEON RODEZ TONIGHT!

BUFFER The following contest is for THE ONE & ONLY WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP! The entrance stage fills with gold smoke and purple light as Fedde Le Grand's “Creeps” blares through the speakers. BUFFER Introducing first, hailing from Port Au Prince, Haiti, the minions of the underworld… DIVINE BROTHERS UNO and DOS... LOS CONQUISADOOOOOORRRRRRRSSSSSSS!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Dos drops to his knees and chants to his strange and mysterious gods while Uno stands behind him, arms outstretched chanting the same prayer. COACH Some early Christmas present it would be if Los Conquistadors win the tag titles tonight. COLE They’re gonna need all the black magic in the would to pull off that upset. “Shine” by Collective Soul cues. BUFFER And now THE CHAMPIONS… total combined weight 485 pounds… CHARLIE MOSS, QUENTIN BENJAMIN... TEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMM HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYRRRRROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Team Heyross pose as red, white and blue pyro blasts in the background. COLE Team Heyross 2 weeks away from their big title defense, assuming they hold on tonight, against the Can-Am Assassins at the WDW 5th anniversary reunion show, Season’s Beatings. COACH It just occurred to me, Cole. What if Los Conquistadors aren’t here to win the tag titles but soften Team Heyross for the Can-Am Assassins? COLE What a scary thought. And they’ve done mercenary work before, most notably for the Enterprise earlier this year. * DINGDINGDING * Quentin Benjamin and Uno start for their respective teams. Fireman’s carry flips Uno over and a body slam puts him on his back. Team Heyross tag and Benjamin executes a drop toehold as Moss drops the elbow. Moss performs a snap suplex and follows up with a running leg drop, then delivers a release overhead belly-to-belly suplex! COACH Pick on somebody your own size, Moss. Can I get a “damn bully,” Cole? COLE No. COACH Well he is. I can’t wait for December 26. He won’t be able to toss Ken Pantera around like a rag doll, that’s for sure. Uno immediately tags out, but Dos charges into a hip toss. BAAAAAACK body drop follows, and then a tag as Team Heyross hit a DOUBLE FLAPJACK! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Dos rakes Benjamin’s eyes, then rams him into Uno’s boot. Los Conquistadors tag and hit a DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Benjamin is introduced to the top turnbuckle and gets worked over in the corner. Uno whips him off…but Benjamin evades a corner charge and delivers a RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX! Benjamin pops to his feet and nails THE ORANGE CRUSH!!! The count as Moss rushes in to place Dos in THE MOSSY KNOLL~!!! ONE! TWO! THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Here are your winners and still World tag team champions… TEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMM HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYRRRRROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Team Heyross celebrate as their music plays. COLE You think the champs aren’t ready for the WDW 5th anniversary reunion show, December 26? COACH They’re not the only ones. COMING UP NEXT THE MAINEVENT US TITLE: ALIX MARIA SPEZIA VS LEON RODEZ NEXT! COMMERCIAL

We return to ringside with our trusty announce team ready to call the action as it happens here on HeldDOWN~!. COLE Folks, we’re heading into WDW Season’s Beating, a reunion show of sorts for WDW, and we’re about to see a former WDW superstar Jumbo in action, but we have words from Jumbo’s opponent in Mister Dick. RECORDED EARLIER TODAY Our scene is a hotel bathroom where the NAKED~! bodies of Malaysia and Mister Dick lie beneath a thin layer of bubble bath inside the tub. MISTER DICK As I sit here with my fourteen inch yule log, I look down at this beautiful piece of god made equipment, I realize I got the greatest gift of all, this mightly weapon of ass destruction, and a hot chick who knows how to ride it. MALAYSIA We can do that right now, baby Mounting Mister Dick, Malaysia purses her lips, flutters her baby blue eyes, and takes herself to the throes of ecstasy. MISTER DICK Hehheheheh. But then Jumbo, the fat guy I’m facing tonight, ain’t never had no gifts in his life. I bet what happened is that up in heaven, God got piss drunk with some fine looking angels, went to baby making factory and shit on the conveyor belt and nine months later that shit became Jumbo! MALAYSIA (roughly bouncing up and down) I love you buried deep inside me. MISTER DICK Jumbo you ain’t never heard those words from a woman who ain’t related to you in yer life! Ya ugly inbred bastard, I bet the only one around your place getting things buried into them is you, and what’s getting buried into you is cheeseburger after cheeseburger, you disgusting lard ass. Boy, you make me sicker than squirell on Nyquil. Ya look like crap, ya smell like crap, ya wrestle like crap, ya eat crap, and I bet yer mama is a filthy ho. A week from now its Deadly Alliance versus WDW and I ain’t got nothing good to say bout your scrub team ‘cause we’re gonna beat ya’ll without breaking a sweat. And tonight, I ain’t even gonna have to make a single bit effort to get you cock blocked, boy. Yer lard ass is going down, fatty. MALAYSIA Speaking of going down…. MISTER DICK It’d be my pleasure! Mister Dick disappears beneath the sheet of bubbles. Almost instantly Malaysia’s lips purr and passionate delight. COLE Folks, I….I….well, that was Mister Dick everybody. Um….yes…..uh….awkward. Sweet Home Chicago hits to nice cheers from the capacity audience. Jumbo does a Brutus Beefcake type strut out the doors, ending with a beating of his expansive chest. COLE Its an interesting matchup here between Mister Dick and Jumbo, first time facing each other. Next week on Syndicated they’ll meet in a gigantic contest. NEXT WEEK ON SYNDICATED TEAM WDW Vs THE DEADLY ALLIANCE SYNDICATED COLE That might be the biggest match in Syndicated history. COACH Even bigger than Disco Ball on a Pole between Mad Cappa and Vinny Valentine? Impossible! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is scheduled for one fall with a tv time limit of twenty minutes. Now making his way to the ring, weighing a WHOPPING four hundred forty pounds, he hails from the Windy City, he is…….JUMBO Jumbo raises his arms down the entrance ramp and emits a mighty roar. Always kind to the fans, he manages to slap hands with the audience and even gives his red leather jacket to a young child in the front row. COACH What kind of messed up parent would bring their kid to an OAOAST show? WE ARE NOT FOR THE CHILDREN! COLE Speak for yourself, I greatly enjoy working with children. Its such an enriching experience. I touch them, and they in turn, touch me. COACH Ewwwwwwww. Womanizer, Womanizer, Womanizer.... Through the majestic gold pyro comes a majestic specimen of humanity, Mister Dick. His lean, hard muscled frame is clung to by white chaps and white shorts with a see through backside. Malaysia hasn’t changed her outfit since her apperance earlier tonight, sticking to the ultra sexual bikini bottoms/corset top outfit. The two embrace each other, then lock lips in frenzied animalistic kiss. COLE We’ve got two very opposite opponents tonight. Both in looks and in attitudes. Jumbo is a great all around guy, stays late to sign autographs, visits children’s hospitals, and Mister Dick is just…a dick to put it frankly. Sometimes he can’t even get along with the rest of the Deadly Alliance. COACH That sometime ain’t today, Mikey. He knows what he’s gotta do for his squad. Malaysia angrily backs away the booing crowd with her whip, which allows Mister Dick to freely gloat of his greatness and sexual strength. White lights flicker and flare around the entry ramp as the two approaches the ringside and the monster inside it. BUFFER And his opponent, hailing from San Antonio, Texas, and being accompanied by Malaysia, he weighs two hundred thirty eight pounds….he is The Human Hard On, MISTER DIIIIIICKKKKKKK! Mister Dick slides into the ring with grace and speed. He stays glued to floor, humping it with strength , might, and sexual aggression aimed at a young lady in the front row. She shies away from this advance, however, causing a contempting sneer to appear on his face. COLE Mister Dick facing off against Jumbo here tonight on OAOAST HeldDOWN! DING DING DING Mister Dick and Jumbo lockup in the center of the ring. It’s a exchange that doesn’t quite go MD’s way as he’s shoved backwards by the rotund brawler. Celebrating his attack, Jumbo jiggles his fat. In response MD leaps to his feet and points to his ripped 8 pack. COLE How do you get an 8 pack anyway? How many hours does Jock spend in the gym? COACH About as many hours as Jumbo spends in Burger King eating Whoppers! The two vastly different competitors circle each other for a while, before a brave MD attempts another lockup. He swings around and tries to grab Jumbo in a waistlock. That doesn’t exactly work out to well, all things considered. Thusly the angered Cocky Prick begins bashing forearms into Jumbo’s back. In turn, Jumbo becomes enraged and smashes Jock’s face with a back elbow. “PENCIL DICK! PENCIL DICK! PENCIL DICK!” the sold out audience chants. Jumbo stalks MD as he staggers away, raising his arm for a mighty blow. But a desperate MD kicks him away, and climbs to the second rope. He grabs onto his crotch and spits at the booing audience, before he leaps at Jumbo with an axe handle smash. But Jumbo extends his foot and catches MD in the stomach he’s so proud of. He then wraps his arms beanth MD’s and hurls him over with a hip toss. COLE What power! COACH What fat rippling so enchantingly. Look at its sway! Its motion! Its beauty! Jumbo attempts a pinfall ONE! Malaysia smartly places Mister Dick’s foot on the ropes. Jumbo turns to argue with the dominatrix, and she’s just as keen to argue back with threats of several lashings. All this gives MD his time to recover, and he surprises Jumbo by bashing him in the back with forearms. Next, he grabs onto the back of Jumbo’s neck and guides him to the corner posts where he hammers his face into the corner posts. COACH Ha! Mister Dick’s gonna make that face even fuglier! Jumbo beats back MD with an elbow, but the Human Hard On fights right back with an athletic dropkick. He then backs to the center of the ring, and offers a crotch chop to the audience. While they jeer his poor sportsmanship , The Texas A&M alum rushes to Jumbo and makes him BITE MY SHINY METAL DICK! “Yeah, baby, jam that rock hard monster into his face!” Malaysia yells. That’s pricelessly what MD does as he continually jams his crotch into Jumbo’s face. Once that humiliating display is over, MD snapmares the super heavyweight to the canvas. He then climbs onto the second rope, forgoes his usual theatrics, and drops a leg across Jumbo’s neck. A pinfall is counted by Charles Robinson… ONE! TWO! Jumbo makes the kickout! Less than pleased with that result, MD gets to his feet and begins laying his spurs into his opponent’s head. He then picks Jumbo up and sends him into the ropes. The big man comes rumbling back with head lowered like a lunatic bull. However, the athletic former quarterback manages to leap frog the mastadon. COACH That’s the agility that almost won him the Heisman trophy! COACH For the last time he was a third string QB, suspended numerous times because of his bad attitude. Jumbo roars towards Mister Dick and takes him down with a cross body block! “YEAAAAAAAAA!” the audience celebrates as Jumbo makes a pinfall…. ONE! TWO! Somehow Mister Dick is able to escape the girth of the big man. COLE We almost saw a huge upset right there! Mister Dick rolls back to his feet, his body sore from being crushed by several hundred pounds. Jumbo gives him no rest, grabbing onto his arms and flinging him into the corner. The fatty beats his blubbery chest before charging forward to squish MD with his massive poundage. Mister Dick stumbles away from the corner, allowing Jumbo to take a run of the ropes. When he comes back he expects to strike Jock in the back with a lariat. But MD surprises everyone in the arena as he leaps into the air and snaps at Jumbo with a dropkick! COLE Oh, Mister Dick, caught him there! Jumbo stumbles from side to side, and MD takes his own run of the ropes. Unfortunately when he returns, Jumbo overturns him with a powerslam. Robinson counts the pinfall…. ONE! TWO! Mister Dick kicksout! “Come on, baby, come on give mommy some pain! Make him bleed for mommy!” Malaysia shrieks on the outside Jumbo picks MD up by his slick backed hair and begins pounding away at him with overhand lefts. Not eager to get into a slugfest with a man twice his size, MD goes low with a dropkick to Jumbo’s knee! As Jumbo sags to a kneeling position, MD throws himself into the ropes. When he comes back he hits Jumbo in the jaw with a lowered Stiff Kick! COLE A hard shot! That has to be it! MD certainly hopes so as he attempts a pinfall.... ONE! TWO! Jumbo lifts his shoulder off the canvas “YEAAAAAAAAA!” MD yells for the crowd to keep their mouth shut as he brings the large brawler to his feet. The two begin trading blows with Jumbo getting the upper hand on his foe. He then winds up with a Mongolian chop that sends his foe scattering back into the corner. Jumbo follows him in, and nails him in his buff chest with a corner lariat. MD winces from the pain that captures his chest. COLE You don’t want to get hit by those massive arms of Jumbo, I can tell you that for certain. COACH He’s a powerful man. An ugly one. But powerful. Jumbo then climbs to the top turnbuckle and begins punching Mister Dick into the head. ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! Malaysia makes her way onto the apron, brandishing her whip and threatening Jumbo. The big man becomes distracted by the dominatrix, and for this reason Mister Dick is able to strike him between the uprights! “OOOOOOOOH!” the fans react in horror, while Mister Dick shoves Jumbo back down to the canvas. The big man lands on his feet, but that’s of little consolation as Mister Dick speedily traps him inside a full nelson! Moments later Jumbo is being driven to the canvas by the Pure Penetration! COACH Now that is it, Mikey. Mister Dick hooks both legs for a pinfall…. ONE! TWO! THREE! As the fans boo the result, Malaysia smiles broadly as she enters the ring. She adds in a few painful stomps to Jumbo’s face with stilettos, before embracing MD. Its not just a simple hug, however, as she grabs onto his kibbles and bits and begins sucking on his nipples! COLE That is one interesting victory celebration, as Mister Dick and The Deadly Alliance head into next week’s Syndicated with some major momentum. COMING UP NEXT TAG TITLES ON THE LINE TEAM HEYROSS IN ACTION NEXT! COMMERCIAL