Patty O'Green

(Go to break) Hey! Wait! I’ve got a new complaint “Heart Shaped Box” pours out of the speakers and into the sold out arena. The entrance doors slide apart, giving the Calgary crowd it’s first up close look at Synth Esizer! COLE We all saw the debacle that occurred last week between Alix and Synth as a result of Candie’s mean spirited snooping. Frankly, I’ve never felt so bad for someone as I did for Alix last week. But, Synth says that he’s coming out here to correct his mistake. I’m skeptical. COACH The one mistake he needs to correct is listening to that fashion challenged wardrobe girl backstage! Look at that outfit! Talk about tacky! Decked out in the rather odd getup of a beat up black Nirvana t-shirt, a pink and orange kilt, and gold and red kneesocks, Synth struts down to the ring. He rolls under the ropes and slides into the squared circle. A production assistant hands him a microphone. He waits for the boos to die down before speaking. COLE I hope he’s out here to issue an apology COACH An apology to good tatse, hopefully! High five! SYNTH Krista and Alix, ya’ve checked the Saints into the heart break hotel! Ya turned down n’ offer dat most chicks wait they entire lives for. Ya’ve flat out refused to be da Saints’ groupies and make da Saints’ wildest dreams come true. S’cool. Dat’s only a minor setback far as the Synthmaster’s concerned. Cause’ as our power ballad Run Woman Run says, “The Saint’ll always get their woman.” Ya’ll two are goin’ be no different. See, da Saints took the mushy route with ya and it got ‘em nowhere. Synth sent Alix flowers last week, she sent ‘em back. Logan showers Krista wit’ compliments, she makes ‘em take a cold shower. Ya took a golden opportunity and slung it into da garbage. S’cool, cause’ the Synth-a-nator has gone to da dumpster and dug it out. Ya ain’t gettin’ away that easily, eh. Yeah, sure last week was another one of dem minor setbacks, wit’ Candie gettin the Synth-o-rama drunker then Scotty Static’s mom at a frat party and him saying some shit he shouldn’t have said. S’only a setback! If da road to plan A is blocked off then take the detour to plan B. Synth’s been forced ta do some serious brain work, eh. He consulted his spiritual counselor, a four string base guitar signed by Paul Stanley of Kiss. And through da guitar, Paul Stanley, he spoke to Synth. He said that the Saints need ta stop thinkin’ like legendary rock stars, and shit, and start using the ol noggin like legendary wrestlers. And wrestlers wrestle in dem match thingies. And dem match thingies, have stipulations and shit. And from dem stipulations, people get things. Things dat dey want, eh. And what we want, Krista and Alix.....is ya’ll. That’s why Synth wit’ Logan’s blessin’ is issuing ya’ll two a challenge fer an Almost Famous match at AngelSlam. COLE A what? And does he mean AngleSlam? SYNTH Da rules fer an Almost Famous match are so simple that even Paris Hilton could follow ‘em, eh. An Almost Famous match can’t end by pinfall, submission or any other of-that queer bait wrestling shit. Da Almost Famous match ends when one team, Da Saints or Chicks Over Dicks, hits they finisher three times. It ain’t gotta be in a row or nuthin, but its gotta be three times total. Un, deux, trois. Da Magic number. Sound good? There’s a slight catch, eh. The Synthmeister didn’t bring up stipulations earlier for his health. The Almost Famous match gots one to. A big one! If the Saints win, ya’ll two sexy ladies gotta become our groupies! (The fans beign to talk amongst themselves as the seriousness (or lack thereof) of stipulation begins to settle in.) COACH God damn, that's a grand idea! I need to challenge Crystal to one of those. Before Synth can finish his promo “Leave” by JoJo blasts out of the sound system! The entrance doors slide apart and out steps Krista Isadora Duncan drawing a small pop from the crowd. She’s holding a microphone and has a smile on her face. She stops at the edge of the entrance stage and addresses Synth. KRISTA An Almost Famous match? Three finishers to win? I like that idea. I like it a lot. Who on earth did you steal it from? That’s actually a smart thought you had! Enjoy it because it’ll probably be your last. The crowd cheers the insult KRISTA I speak for Alix when I say that we both accept....on one condition. SYNTH What dat, foxy mama? (Krista smiles sweetly.) KRISTA Well, this match is a high risk no reward proposition for us. If we lose, we’re basically your slaves, submissive to you in almost every way. If we win, we’re simply allowed to continue living life the way we were before. That’s not very fair to us and it’s kind of boring, if I may be so blunt. Why don’t we make this match a lil bit more interesting? Raise the stakes? SYTNH Watcha got in mind, home girl? KRISTA Simple. We’ll keep your stipulations and add in one of our own. If we win, and we will, you and Logan become our....muses. (The crowd is comprised mostly of people who flunked out in the eighth grade and have no idea what a muse is, therefore their reaction is minimal) KRISTA Normally that means that you’d be our inspiration, but to find out what I mean by the term....You’ll just have to wait until you lose. SYNTH Bullshit! Ya want Synth ta agree ta something before he even knows what it is! Bullshit, eh. (Synth starts to nervously pace back and forth, thinking about he should do.) Fine. Okay. Ya got yer stip!. BUT...Ya gotta let the Synthmaster pick the special guest referee! KRISTA Special guest referee? In an Almost Famous match? Who is it? Kate Hudson? SYNTH Naw, son! (A devilish grin creeps onto Synth’s face) It’s......CANDIE! COLE Woah! (The crowd breaks into a very loud and very vulgar “Candie swallows” chat) KRISTA (Pretending not to be upset) Great. Candie it is. You may think that our chances have just gone the way of the dodo but you’ll soon find that you’re kinda mistaken. (Krista turns around to leave) SYNTH Before ya go let the Synth-a-nator drop some wisdom on ya, eh. Ya can take a shower, or ya can take a bath. Either way....yer gettin’ cleaned. KRISTA That makes no sense in context of our discussion. That wasn’t even clever. And you’re the one writing the lyrics? No wonder why no one buys your albums. (“Leave” blares out the speakers as Krista walks backstage.) COACH You heard it hear first folks! The Saints will take on Chicks Over Dicks in an Almost Famous match. Synth has a neat idea for a match, but do these four even have finishers? COLE Alix uses a running flashback called “Mona Lisa Smile”, Krista uses a curtain call onto the knee called “Down With Love”. Logan and Synth use a DDT called the “Percussion” COACH How’d you know that? COLE You know Krista and Alix’s bra size, I know their finishers. We remember what’s important to us. COACH (Suddenly looking worried) Mikey, fans, there’s an incident brewing backstage between Cappa and Stephen Joseph! We’ve got a camera locked on them! Let’s go! (We follow Coach’s orders and are taken backstage to a dimly lit locker room. Cappa is sitting in a stool, holding his head down and twiddling his thumbs. He’s trying to avoid eye contact with Stephen Joseph, who’s hovering above him and giving him a very angry look.) SJ Cappa, do you have something you’d like to say? CAPPA No. SJ The words are on the edge of your tounge, screaming to jump off. So either say something or quit giving me that pouty 5 year old girl look. Understand? I have neither the room nor the time for ungrateful insubordinate dogs, such as yourself. Speak your peace and be glad I’m giving you the chance to do so! CAPPA Fine. I'll say something. I'll say that you’re a stuck up and egotistical jerk off, who thinks to god damn highly of himself to see that just about nobody in this company gives a damn about anything you do or say....(Cappa takes a deep breath and clinches his fist) I'll say that you're a selfish piece of shit who would be better off dead! (SJ grabs Cappa by his shirt collar, lifts him off the stool and violently slams him against the brick wall. SJ eyes flare with rage as tiny specks fall of the brick and land on the floor) SJ You....you....you...can't talk to me like that. YOU CAN’T TALK TO ME LIKE THAT! YOU CAN’T TALK TO ME LIKE THAT! YOU CAN’T TAL...... (Cappa gives SJ a hard shove and sends him tumbling to the floor! Fearful for his own safety, SJ quickly backs away from Cappa.) CAPPA I JUST DID! As for who can talk to who, let me ask you a question; which one of us beat Drek Stone in a brutal Hell in the cell match and which one of us is barely above curtain jerker in the grand scheme of things? (Cappa storms out of the room, leaving SJ a cowering mess.) SJ (voice trembling as he speaks) You....you....are going to be sorry, little man.....Very sorry.....This.........I..I....assure you. (Go to break)

(Return from break) Woke Up This Morning Got Yourself A Gun Mama Always Said You’d Be The Chosen One COLE And now it’s time for the X-Division Title matchup! Folks, the story of this match: Can Rick Edwards successfully defend his coveted championship against the highly-talented Leon Rodez? COACH Or, to be more specific: Will Drek Stone play a role in whether or not Rick successfully defends his title against Leon Rodez? Drek Stone walks out of the entranceway to a loud chorus of boos. He walks down to the ring confidently in his striped referee’s shirt, trying to act as professionally as he can. Unlike most other nights, tonight, he doesn’t seem too interested in proudly accepting the distaste of the fans. Rolling into the ring, he doesn’t even bother to pound his chest and watch the fireworks. He actually seems set on carrying out his duties tonight as the special referee. COLE There definitely had to be a reason he wanted to be so heavily involved in this match tonight. But is it to hurt Leon? Or is it to hurt Rick? COACH Maybe it’s just to see a high-caliber matchup in our X-Division! Is that not possible?! COLE I wouldn’t think so. COACH Yeah. Me neither. “You Sexy Thing” by Hot Chocolate starts to play throughout the rena as Leon Rodez walks onto the ramp, much to the cheers of the crowd. Rodez slowly walks down to the ring, trying to slap hands with the fans, but his attention is clearly focused on the referee awaiting in the ring. He walks into the ring and raises his arms to the crowd, receiving a nice reaction in return. With confusion, he then turns his head to Drek Stone, who tries giving him a reassuring look. COACH Drek is really looking like he’s trying to smooth things out with Leon Rodez. COLE But can you really blame Leon for not being willing to accept this sudden friendship? How many other people have trusted Drek Stone and haven’t been screwed? COACH How many other people have trusted Drek Stone and had the chance to walk away later? “Tear Away” by Drowning Pool blasts over the loudspeakers as Rick Edwards steps out of the curtains to a good ovation. With the X-Title hanging over his shoulder, he walks down to the ring with determination obvious in his eyes. Rolling into the ring, he hands his championship belt to the referee, then slowly stares at Leon Rodez, who is staring back just as intently at him. COLE Well, ladies and gentlemen, here we go. Leon Rodez. Rick Edwards. The X-Title is on the line! *DING! DING! DING!* Rick Edwards and Leon Rodez slowly walk to the center of the ring. Rick extends his right hand, willing to shake hands with Leon before the match starts. Hesitantly, Leon stares at Rick for a second, then goes forward to shake his hand. Rick grabs his hand but, with impressive speed, quickly moves behind Leon and brings him down to the mat with a waistlock takedown. COLE And Rick rapidly outmanuevers Leon in the opening moments of the match. COACH You have to wonder how Leon’s attention is going to be changed in this match. You think he would have fallen for that kind of move if Drek Stone wasn’t standing over his shoulder? After hitting the mat, Leon quickly rolls out of the way and stands right back up. He addresses Rick with a smile, somewhat impressed that Edwards was able to trick him with a simple manuever. Meanwhile, he completely misses the disapproving frown that Drek is staring at him with only a few feet away. Leon walks back to Rick, and the two men quickly lock up in a grapple. After only a second, Leon brings Rick down to the mat with an armdrag. He grabs Rick’s arm, trying to lock in an armbar, but Rick quickly somersaults out of the move. He bounces back up to his feet and charges at Leon, but is brought down with yet another armdrag. This time, Leon is able to lock in a follow-up armbar. COLE Now, this time, Leon has managed to take the quck advantage! Rick moves up to his feet, but Leon shifts the hold into a hammerlock behind Rick’s back. Drek obnoxiously starts screaming in Rick’s face, asking if he’s ready to submit. Leon eyes Drek suspiciously, allowing Rick the opportunity to shift out of Leon’s unattentive hammerlock. He quickly edges behind Leon’s back, hooks his right arm from behind, and brings him down to the mat with a reverse hiptoss! Instead of landing on his back, Leon lands right on his chest! COACH Now, E-Coli, we have to wonder. Did Drek really mean to take the attention away from Leon? Or was it just something inadvertent that happened? COLE I really don’t…….wait. E-Coli? COACH Yeah. Your name is Cole. Add “E” in front of it. “I” at the end of it. E-Coli. Pretty catchy, I thought. COLE Even when Caboose isn’t here, he still manages to be present in spirit. Noticeably stunned, Leon moves himself to his knees, but Rick doesn’t give him the opportunity to recover. He darts forward, and brings Leon straight down to the mat with a spinning heel kick. Rick scrambles over to make the cover. ONE….. TWO….. KICKOUT. Although he’s surprised from these attacks, Leon isn’t near ready to be pinned yet. Drek, to his credit, counted the pinfall quite normally. COLE And I think the gloves are now off. Both men tried to start the match as scientifcally as possible, but make no mistake about it. This match is going to be high-impact. Leon makes an attempt to get back up under his own power, but Rick doesn’t give him the opportunity. He pulls Leon up by his hair, pushes up into the corner, and… *SMACK* “WHOO!” …gives him a nasty chop across the chest. Rick rears back again and… *SMACK* “WHOO!” ….delivers yet another nasty chop. But Leon, with quick speed, grabs Rick by the neck and reverses the situation, pushing Rick into the corner. This time, Leon rears back and… *SMACK* “WHOO!” ….delivers his own chop across the chest of Rick Edwards. He steps back, looking as if he’s ready to deliver another chop, but Rick uses his strength to violently shove Leon away from him. Leon hits the mat and rolls backward, rising back to his feet. Rick charges forward, and Leon suddenly hits him with a beautiful standing dropkick into the face! COACH What athleticism from Leon Rodez! Rick hits the mat, and Leon quickly falls on top of him for the pinfall. ONE…. TWO…. KICKOUT! With a disparaging frown, Drek shakes his head, making sure Rodez can now clearly see his action. With a curious look on his face – not a scowl, but not quite a smile – Leon turns his attention towards Drek, making sure that Drek knows that Leon saw him shaking his head. COLE Once again – Leon is taking his mind off of Rick to address Drek. You can’t make those kinds of mistakes in a match against a guy the likes of Rick Edwards. COACH Well, to be honest here – Drek Stone actually isn’t that bad of a motivator. Leon can see he’s unhappy. Leon can try harder to please him. COLE I don’t really think that’s what’s in his mind right now... After a few seconds, Leon gets ready to turn his head back around to face Rick…. .....but quickly gets clotheslined over the top rope by Rick before he can finish his turn! COACH Whoa! Rick nearly took Leon’s head off after that! The fans start applauding the sheer velocity of the move, but they haven’t seen anything yet. Leon begins attempting to get back to his feet, while Rick runs into the opposite ropes. Finally, once Leon manages to get back up, Rick bounces off the ropes, runs back towards Leon….. …..AND JUMPS OVER THE TOP ROPE WITH A SOMERSAULT PLANCHA ONTO LEON RODEZ! “Holy Shit! Holy Shit!” COLE WHAT A PLANCHA! COACH Well, once again, Rick continues to impress me! The crowd loudly applauds the move, as both men lay on the ground for a little while, trying to gather together their energy. But Drek isn’t willing to let either guy rest too long. As soon as Rick hits the high-flying move, Drek begins his ten count. ONE…. TWO…. THREE…. COLE This count is a little fast, don’t you think? Rick starts moving back to his knees. FOUR… FIVE….. COACH Not really. This is how the countouts SHOULD be. Not like how that other federation does it. I mean, have you ever seen Mike Chioda try to count to ten? It winds up taking him at least ten minutes. You don’t how many times I’ve tried talking… COLE Well, I didn’t mean to get you started on this… Using his hands to push himself back up, Rick gets back to his feet. SIX…. With a satisifed smile on his face, Rick rolls back into the ring. Surprise suddenly crosses Drek’s face, and he starts to take his time with the count. Leon has only began to stir himself off the ground SEVEN…. Rick, with his own confused glance, notices the sudden slowdown of Drek’s count and turns his attention to him. Meanwhile, Leon, nursing his back, has made it back to a standing position. COLE Wait just a second. Why did Drek Stone suddenly slow down the count? COACH Who knows. Maybe he’s trying to protect his new boy, Leon Rodez. Drek’s a changed man, you know? EIGHT….. Leon rolls back into the ring to the mixed reaction from the crowd. Rick silently curses Drek, but moves straight towards Leon, who has now gingerly risen to his feet. Edwards runs forward and tries to bring Leon down with a rapid clothesline. Leon, almost instinctively, ducks the move. But Rick, using his momentum, bounces off the ropes. He runs back forward – AND HITS LEON RODEZ WITH A RUNNING ENZIGUIRI! COLE THE DOOMSDAY KICK! COACH WHAT A MOVE! IS THE MATCH OVER ALREADY?! Many in the crowd, still somewhat split in their support of the two men in the ring, loudly cheer after the move! Rick quickly rolls Leon onto his back and makes the count. ONE…. TWO….. SHOULDER UP! With a contented sigh, Drek stops the count after Leon kicks out of the move. COLE I don’t understand this. Why is he so happy to see that Leon kicked out? COACH More high-octane action from these two amazing OAOAST superstars?! COLE Not quite. But still a good shill anyway. Still suspicious of Drek Stone’s motives, Rick eyes him for a second, then moves to the nearest corner. He begins stalking Leon, waiting for him to get off the mat. Leon starts to dizzily rise off the mat, as Rick anxiously braces himself for the upcoming move. Finally, once Leon gets to his knees, Rick CHARGES out of the corner! He runs forward…..jumps up for ANOTHER SHINING WIZARD……AND LEON SUDDENLY DUCKS UNDER IT! Rick goes flying over Leon’s body and hits the mat, much to the surprise of the fans. COLE You can’t underestimate the strategy of Leon Rodez! He knew that Rick was scouting him, and he was perfectly prepared for what awaited. You can’t do much better than that! Leon does his best to rise up as quickly as possible. While Rick almost manages to get back to his feet, Leon grabs from behind with a waistlock and brings him down with a bridging german suplex! Rick’s shoulders are down! Drek quickly drops down and starts the count with unusually quick speed. ONE… TWO…. SHOULDER UP! Rick quickly rises his shoulder off the mat and rolls out of the german suplex. The fans immediately begin to boo, sensing just why Drek had decided to count the pinfall so quickly. COLE Now what the hell was that? COACH Okay….well, maybe it was a little fast. COLE Again, I don’t understand the motive here. Is he really trying to help Leon Rodez here? And, if so……why? Doesn’t it matter that Leon clearly doesn’t want any help?! Leon disgustingly stares at Drek for a few seconds, then slowly starts to pick Rick off the mat. He grabs Rick’s head from behind and sets him up in a reverse DDT position. He begins an attempt to lift Rick up for a reverse suplex, but only manages to get him up a little bit before Rick lands back on his feet. He starts struggling to get out of the move, looking to unwrap Leon’s arm from around his throat. Leon quickly drops down to one knee, driving Rick’s back into his other knee. This stops Rick’s sudden attempts to get out of the move. With the hold still locked in, Leon stands back up. He lifts Rick up with a reverse suplex…..puts him back on his feet behind him….AND HITS HIM WITH A STUNNER! COACH OSAKA STREET CUTTER! LEON LEARNED THAT MOVE FROM THE MEAN STREETS OF JAPAN! COLE Has he ever even been there? COACH DOUBT IT! Rick slumps down to his knees before falling face-first onto the mat. Leon rolls Rick over to his back and makes the cover. ONE…. TWO…. SHOULDER UP AGAIN! Once again, the fans boo at the speed of Drek’s pinfall. This time, Leon moves right towards Drek, and stares face-to-face with him. LEON I DON’T NEED YOUR HELP! DON’T GIVE ME ANY GOD DAMN PINFALLS! The fans loudly pop at Leon’s passionate condemnation of the referee’s tactics. Drek, with a reassuring smile, stares back at Leon coolly. DREK There’s no fast count here, Leon. Calm down. You’re doing just fine on your own. Just fine, kiddo. COLE Kiddo? Is he for real? He’s just patronizing Leon. COACH Well, I don’t tink there can be any disputing his motives anymore. He WANTS Leon to win here. What that means for Rick….I just don’t know. Leon, not wanting to lose his momentum, decides to drop his battle with Drek for the time being. He walks back towards Rick and starts to pick him up off the mat slowly. But Rick suddenly grabs Leon by his head and falls to the mat, wrapping him up in a small package. ONE…. Leon busts out of the rollup. At this point, the fans are starting to loudly jeer at the games Drek is trying to pull in this match. Rick moves to his feet and stomps over to Drek, screaming angrily in his face. RICK WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?! COUNT THE DAMN PIN! Once again, Drek tries to calmly address the situation. DREK Oh, I am counting the damn pin. It’s not my fault you’re off your game tonight. But Rick isn’t having any of it. He grabs Drek by his shirt and starts to scream at him. RICK YOU THINK I’M KIDDING?! DO YOU?! Drek tries to keep his calm demeanor, but this time it actually winds up looking more chilling than it did before. DREK If you weren’t wrestling my good friend Leon Rodez right now, your ass would have been disqualified the second you grabbed me. You watch yourself, Rick. And let go of my shirt. Not one to immediately respond to threats, Rick locks his eyes with Drek for a few more seconds, his hand still gripping Drek’s referee shirt. Finally, he starts to loosen the grip, but is suddenly blindsided by a clothesline from behind from Leon. Drek quickly hops out of the corner, not wanting to get in the way of Leon. Rodez starts to scale the turnbuckles with his back to Rick, looking like he’s putting himself in a moonsault position. But, after the clothesline, Rick is speedily able to get back up. Once Leon gets on the top rope, Rick puts his head underneath the legs of Leon and pulls away from the corner. Leon is now sitting directly on Rick’s shoulders. The fans start buzzing as Leon shakes his arms, trying to find an escape. But he’s not quick enough. Rick falls back with an Electric Chair Drop! COLE What a high-impact move from Rick Edwards! Even through his anger with Drek Stone, he’s still managing to keep his cool against Leon! COACH Well, that’s the mark of a deserving X-Champion. Many in the crowd cheer loudly after the move, watching Leon’s body literally bounce off the mat. Taking advantage of this chance, Rick pulls Leon by his arm over towards the corner post. Once Leon is in position, Rick speedily climbs to the top turnbuckle. He looks at the fans for a second ….jumps off….. ….AND HITS LEON RODEZ WITH A FLIPPING LEGDROP! Leon’s legs immediately shoot up after the move, but then just as quickly fall back down to the mat. “Holy Shit! Holy Shit!” Rick actually winds up rolling his body away after the move, nursing his back that he may have hurt after the move. After a few more moments, he notices that Leon isn’t moving. He crawls over as quickly as he can and makes the cover. ONE…. TWO….. SHOULDER UP! LEON JUST MANAGES TO GET A SHOULDER UP! A clear chant of “Rodez! Rodez!” actually starts to break out through the crowd. Rick, getting more frustrated with every near fall, pounds against the mat in aggravation. COACH This isn’t the time for Rick to let his emotions get the best of him. He’s so close to retaining the X-Title. Finally, a smile slowly crosses the face of Rick Edwards as he stands back up to his feet. He slowly slashes his thumb against his throat, receiving quite a loud reaction in return. Limping towards Leon, he slowly starts to scrape him off the mat by his hair. Once he lifts Rodez to his feet, he steps behind him and wraps his arm around his head. He lifts Leon up for a reverse suplex…..but Leon falls back on his feet behind Rick. He grabs Rick in a waistlock, pushes him forward into the ropes, than falls back with a rolling prawn hold. ONE…. TWO…. KICKOUT! COLE What a reversal from Leon Rodez! Both men immediately rise back up after the move, an urge of adrenaline guiding each of them. Rick runs at Leon with a clothesline, but Leon ducks it, wraps Rick’s arms behind him, and brings him down to the mat with a backslide. ONE…. TWO…. KICKOUT! Once again, after the pinfall, both men make it up to their feet in only a few seconds. COACH One second away from winning his first ever OAOAST Title! You can sense just how much he wants this! However, Leon Rodez IS up first. He quickly runs into the ropes and, once Rick gets up, jumps over him with a sunset flip. He tries to bring Rick back down, but Edwards swiftly falls to his knees and wraps Leon up in a pinning predicament. ONE…. TWO…. KICKOUT! COLE This time, Rick chooses to show his OWN technical skills. COACH Both these men are so evenly matched! Either guy can walk out of here with the title at this point. The force of the kickout sent Edwards falling forward, directly onto his chest. With both men breathing heavily, they start to make it back up to their feet. Using the ring ropes for support, Leon – once again- gets up first. With the ring ropes acting as an inspiration, Leon suddenly jumps onto the middle rope and springs back with a reverse elbow. But Rick, not falling for the sudden move, grabs a flying Leon from behind with a reverse waistlock. He quickly guides his arm around Leon’s neck, pulls his neck back, and without hesitiation, lifts him up for a reverse suplex. On the way down, HE HITS HIM WITH THE DIAMOND CUTTER! COLE SUPERMAN’S DEAD! SUPERMAN’S DEAD! RICK EDWARDS JUST HIT LEON RODEZ WITH HIS FINISHING MOVE! COACH IT’S OVER! IT’S GOT TO BE! HOW MANY GUYS KICK OUT OF THAT?! Many in the building quickly gasp after the move, simply because it seemed to have came out of nowhere. But Rick, clearly exhausted, doesn’t seem to have the strength at this point to make the pinfall. He lays down on the mat for a few seconds, trying to find the will to crawl over and get the three count. Meanwhile, a completely disturbed Drek Stone has had enough. He stands over Leon and begins to scream in his ear. DREK Come on Leon. COME ON! Rick grabs the middle rope to try to pull himself up. DREK I am TIRED of CARRYING YOUR ASS TONIGHT! DO SOMETHING! COACH Uh-oh. COLE What is he doing?! Don’t you think this cheerleading is going a little too far now? With the middle rope as support, Rick starts to woozily make his way back up. DREK This is YOUR CHANCE, LEON! PROVE YOURSELF RIGHT HERE! AREN’T YOU TIRED OF BEING A GOD DAMN FAILURE?! Finally, Rick is able to stand back up. With Leon Rodez completely out cold on the mat, this title defense looks like it’s locked up….. …..well, that is, until J. Arthur Edwards comes running in through the crowd. COACH NO WAY! JAE hops over the barricade and onto the ring apron, with Rick Edwards completely oblivious to who’s standing right behind him. The fans start screaming for him to turn around but, once he finally does, it’s too late. With a steel chain wrapped around his fist, JAE reels back…..AND CRACKS HIS FIST INTO THE FACE OF RICK EDWARDS! Edwards slumps down to the mat as the fans start to loudly scream for something to be done. J. Arthur Edwards quickly hops off the apron and over the barricade, running right back into the safety of the masses. COACH OH NO! COLE THIS IS RIDICULOUS! DREK SHOULD HAVE BEEN PAYING ATTENTION TO THAT! NOT SCREAMING AT LEON! Meanwhile, Drek is still completely sidetracked with Leon, who has now started to crawl, determined to get back up and continue. DREK DON’T MISS THIS OPPORTUNITY, MAN! DON’T UNDERACHIEVE ONCE AGAIN! With a deep breath, Leon finds the strength to prop himself back onto his knees. DREK IT’S TIME TO FRIGGIN DO SOMETHING LEON! DO SOMETHING!!! Finally, Leon gets back up onto his feet. Trying to ignore Drek’s frantic screaming, he finds himself surprised to see that Rick is laying out-cold on the mat. Although he’s suspicious at first of what exactly happened, he just shrugs his shoulders and starts to pull Rick towards the nearest turnbuckle. COLE Oh, I hope it doesn’t end this way…. Finally, once it’s done, he begins to slowly climb the top turnbuckle, trying to steady himself. Once he gets to the top, he pounds his fist against his chest, receiving the beginnings of another “Rodez!” chant in return. Finally, after bracing himself for another moment, he jumps off with a 450 Splash……AND HITS IT! COLE BECAUSE THE LADY LOVES!! BECAUSE THE LADY LOVES!! COACH HE HIT IT! COLE LEON’S BODY IS STILL ON RICK’S RIGHT AFTER THE MOVE!! DREK DROPS DOWN FOR THE PIN!!! ONE…… TWO….. STONECUTTER!!! STONECUTTER?!?! Right after the two count, Drek pops up to his feet and yanks Leon off of Rick’s body by his hair. With pure anger driving him, he swiftly picks Leon up, AND SPIKES HIM INTO THE MAT WITH THE STONECUTTER! COLE OH MY GOD!! COACH Wait…..could this mean he WASN’T BEING SINCERE?! The fans start to go absolutely crazy with boos as Drek shoots a defiant stare at the laid-out body of Leon Rodez. With a scowl on his face, Drek stares at Leon for a few more seconds, but then soon stands up. He rolls Leon’s body over onto his back and drags the motionless body of Rick Edwards directly on top of him. He drops down and makes a deliberately slow count. ONE…. COLE COULD THIS BE THE END?! TWO…. COACH LEON’S NOT MOVING! RICK’S NOT MOVING! THREE!! *DING DING DING* After an initial roar from the crowd, realizing that Rick Edwards has managed to successfully defend the X-Title, the building suddenly starts to boom with a deafening chant of “Drek Stone Sucks!” With a smile now completely etched across the face of Drek, he steps through the middle rope and hops off of the ring apron. COLE Oh god, I can’t believe this. COACH Well, I guess we’re all fools for believing him in the first place. COLE Speak for yourself. I never believed him! The guy’s always going to be an asshole! He’ll never change! COACH Whoa! E-Coli! Watch the language! Drek begins to walk back towards the locker room, but abruptly stops and turns his attention back towards the ring. He lets out a long laugh, and starts to make the title-belt motion around his waist. DREK And you thought you would win the X-Title tonight, Leon. How pathetic… Continuing to walk backwards towards the entranceway, he finally stops once he gets to the top of the ramp. Taking one last look at the two motionless men laying in the ring, Drek can’t help but grin even wider. DREK How friggin’ pathetic. Finally, Drek turns around and walks through the curtains. COLE Oh, this is terrible. Rick Edwards is out cold. And Leon Rodez has just lost the opportunity to win his first-ever OAOAST Title. The gold was right in his hands – and he lost it. COACH There’s going to be some heavy consequences next week. What is Rick Edwards going to do to J. Arthur Edwards?! What is Leon Rodez going to do to Drek Stone?! COLE I shudder to think. Neither of these two men are going to take this well. I can’t believe this X-Title match has turned out like this! How despicable! *The camera slowly fades to black as we get another look at the two lifeless men laying in the ring* (Go to break)

(Return from break) "It's Goin' Down" hits the PA system, and the arena lights fade to black. A dim blue hue covers the arena, and white strobe lights flash upon the entrance. Watch them flee! Watch them flee! Wa...Wa...Watch them flee! [hip hop hits] *Scratch**Scratch* And you do it like this... The crowd boos wildly as Chris Bryte steps out from the back followed by Kevin Yancy Taylor. Bryte's not his usual jovial self as he and Taylor walk down the entrance ramp with purpose. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Currently coming down the aisle, accompanied by his uncle and media respresentative, Kevin Yancy Taylor...he hails from Topeka, Kansas and weighs in tonight at 175 pounds...CHRRRIIISSSSSS....BRRRRRRYYYYTE! COLE Here we go, fans. Bryte and Taylor heading down to the ring to do battle with Tina, and Bryte is not happy at all. COACH Not at all, Mikey. Bryte's still feeling the sting of that loss to Jackie Gayda on the house show, and he could be staring at another loss here tonight at the hands of Tina. Homegirl's no joke! Like I said earlier on, she almost beat him last time they fought. COLE Indeed! Tina lost that last match thanks to The Hand! He's not here tonight thanks to the number Panther did on him at License to Pin, and I'd reckon that we won't be seeing that man for quite some time, so Tina's chances for victory are greater than ever tonight. COACH Definitely. I think the only problem with her, though, is that head injury. Has she completely healed from that fractured skull, cuz Mikey, you know that Bryte won't hesitate to go after that head. He'll try and put her right back on the shelf. COLE And then you have to factor Panther into the equation. Earlier on, we heard Bill Watts tell him to adhere to that restraining order that Bryte and Taylor have filed against him, because if Panther is arrested one more time, that's it for he AND Tina! They're both gone! And fans...joining us right now is none other than the #1 asshole--I mean broadcast journalist in the biz, Kevin Taylor. TAYLOR Har, har, har, Cole. Ya know, I couldn't help but notice that the two of you were a man short, so I figured the two of you might need a little bit of assistance here tonight! Well never fear, because I...KEVIN...YANCY...TAYLOR, am here to offer my services to you tonight. And I am here to show you and everyone watching at home exactly what a REAL commentator should be like. Pay attention and take notes, gentlemen. COLE Please. Bryte's music dies down as he awaits Tina in the ring. WHO'S THE BADDEST CHICK The arena lights drop as Faith Evans' "You Gets No Love (remix)" hits the PA system. The crowd gives a good-sized pop as bright red spotlights flood the arena and begin roaming the crowd. A dim red spotlight emits from the entrance, highlighting the silhouette of a female figure, and as fans begin clapping in unison to the beat of the pulsating Eurhythmics sample, that light from the entrance gets brighter...and brighter...and brighter...until a series of pyro sparks go off at the set, starting from opposite ends of the stage and converging in front of the entrance. The crowd pops as Tina steps out from the locker room and walks out to the edge of the stage with a look of determination in her eyes. I tell you why there's no love Simply you're not cool enough For what we had between us Don't you know you lost my trust Tina tosses her hair back and thrusts her arms into the air, and on cue, more pyro sparks begin to fire down from the rafters behind her. She continues her path to ringside. BUFFER And his opponent, hailing from Philadelphia, PA, and weighing in at 175 pounds, she is known as The Superwoman and THE BADDEST CHICK in Pro Wrestling....TIIIIIIIIINNNAAA!!! Tina wastes no time in sliding into the ring, where Bryte immediately pounces on her with a judo chop to the back of the head. *DING DING DING* COLE The bell sounds, and this thing is under way! TAYLOR Get her, Chris! Tina tries to get back to her feet, but Bryte is all over her, nailing her with hard shots to the neck and the back of the head. He grabs Tina by the hair and lifts her back to her feet, where he begins tearing into her with vicious knee lifts to the forehead and the bridge of her nose. The last knee lift sends Tina staggering back into the ropes, at which point, Bryte rips into her with a hard chop to the chest. Another one. Irish whip sends her into the far side, Tina ducks the high kick coming off. Bryte tries to catch her coming off with a backbreaker or a sidewalk slam, but Tina rides through it and manages to take Bryte over with a satelite headscissors, drawing a pop from the crowd. Bryte right back to his feet and charges at Tina, but runs right into a reverse elbow and flops to the canvas. Tina drops down with him and mounts, and begins raining down rights and left hands to Bryte's head. She then grabs Bryte's throat with both hands, and begins choking away. The referee steps in to stop her. REF C'mon, Tina! 1...2...3...4...BREAK THE CHOKE! She doesn't, and the ref is forced to grab her around the waist and physically pry her off of Bryte. He muscles her back to his feet, but gets dropped by a reverse elbow from the Superwoman. She then turns back to Bryte, who's crawling to the ropes, breathing deep breaths trying to get some air back into his lungs. A smile comes across Tina's face, and as Bryte reaches his feet, Tina charges at him and catches him with a HARD clothesline, catching him with such force that they both go tumbling over the top rope and to the outside. The crowd cheers in the background and starts to chant for Tina. COLE This crowd is solidly behind Tina! TAYLOR Figures they would be. The harlot should've been DQ'd after putting her hands on the official the way she did! But of course, being the biased announcers that you are, you completely turn a blind eye to it! We cut backstage momentarily, showing Panther watching the match on a monitor! We then cut back to ringside, where Bryte is crawling towards the stairs. COLE Chris Bryte headed towards those stairs, what is he...oh no. The crowd clamors as Bryte grabs the top layer of the stairs and lifts it off their hinges. COLE Wait a minute now. TAYLOR Now, now, Cole! After the rulebreaking we've seen from Tina, I think this is completely fair. COLE Bryte has those stairs! Bryte coming after Tina... COACH Tina...watch out... *CLANG* The crowd pops as Tina dropkicks the stairs right back into Bryte's face, sending him to the floor. With Bryte trapped under the stairs, Tina leaps on them with a double stomp, crushing him underneath. She does it a second time, then climbs up onto the apron. She motions for the crowd to "get up" as she climbs up onto the second buckle. TAYLOR What the hell is that witch doing now?! She points to the heavens with her right hand, and when Bryte shoves the stairs up off of his face, Tina dives from the top rope and comes down across Bryte with a tremendous flying elbow drop to the throat. The crowd comes to its feet as Bryte's body convulses on the ringside mats! TAYLOR She is insane! COLE What a move by Tina! Chris Bryte is down on the outside! She is hurt! COACH It looks like she may have hurt herself on that one, though! Look. Tina is limping slightly when she returns to her feet. She shakes her left leg for a moment, then reaches down and pulls Bryte back to his feet. Tina nails him with a knife edge chop to the back of the head, then slams his face into the ring apron before rolling him under the bottom rope and into the ring. She then heads back onto the apron, and with Bryte lying parallel to the ropes, Tina yanks back on the top rope and propells herself over with a somesault leg drop (connecting with her left leg). Cover...1...2...no! Only two! COLE Tina got a nearfall there... TAYLOR Look at that leg, Chris! Look at the leg. Tina favors her left leg a bit before pulling herself back to her feet. She then reaches down and grabs Bryte by the hair...but he picks her ankle, and a single leg takedown puts Tina flat on her back. COLE Uh oh! Bryte's got that leg. TAYLOR Get get out the stop watches, boys! We won't be here for long! Bryte holds Tina's left leg as he pulls himself back to his feet, turning into it with a spinning toe hold. The crowd "WHOOS" in anticipation for a figure four, but Tina uses her right leg to boot Bryte away. Undaunted, Bryte goes for another spinning toe hold, but when he reaches for the right leg, Tina grabs him by the head and pulls him over into an inside cradle. The referee slides in position for the count... 1... 2... NO! Bryte manages to kick out after two! COACH How close was that? Both scramble back to their feets, and when they turn to face each other, Bryte takes Tina down with another single leg. Bryte tries to yank her out to the center of the ring, but Tina grabs hold of the bottom rope, preventing him from doing so. Bryte continues tugging on the leg, trying to yank her off the ropes, and after a moment or two of struggle, he finally succeeds. He drags her out to the center of the ring and goes for another spinning toe hold, but as he turns into it, Tina boots him in the ass and sends him stumbling forward and to the outside. The crowd cheers as Bryte smacks off the ringside mats once again. COACH Well Taylor, if Bryte took this match to show he can't be beaten by a woman, he's sure doing a bad job of proving that point. TAYLOR Shut up, you. The woman has been cheating every step of the way! C'mon Chris. Bryte slowly pulls himself back to his feet on the outside as Tina eyes him from the ring. COLE Tina's measuring Bryte for something. TAYLOR Oh no, Chris! Look out! Tina hits off the ropes and comes at Bryte with a baseball slide... *CLANG* ...but Bryte manages to side step the move and fling Tina backfirst into the guardrail. Tina cringes in pain as Bryte takes a step back to catch his breath. TAYLOR Get on her, Chris! Get on her! Don't give her a moment to breathe! Bryte moves in on her and catches her with a hard forearm to the jaw. Knee lift to the gut doubles Tina over. He then grabs Tina by the back of her tights and turns towards the ringpost with evil intensions. COACH Uh oh! COLE Remember the head injury. Bryte charges forward and tries to send Tina into the post, but at the last second, she reverses the momentum, and Bryte catches a face full of steel. The impact causes Bryte to spin out, and he goes flailing onto the announce position, right in front of Uncle Kev. COACH Bryte hit that post hard. COLE He could be out! TAYLOR No! Get up, Chris! Get up. Tina shakes her leg loose once again and heads over towards Bryte's prone body at Sofa Central. There, she's confronted by an angry Taylor. TAYLOR.(to Tina) BITCH! WHORE! SLUT! You make me sick, you know that?! You make me absolutely-- *THUD* Tina pie-faces Taylor, causing him to fall back and hit his head on the guardrail. She then turns back to Bryte... *CRASH* GETS A COFEE MUG SHATTERED OVER HER HEAD! The crowd boos as Tina goes down like she's been shot. COLE Tina is down! Chris Bryte...son of a bitch, he just shattered that mug over her head. COACH And again, remember that head injury, Mikey! COLE Tina is hurt, and she may be hurt badly. Backstage, Panther is on the edge of his seat, concern written all over his face. Back at ringside, Bryte lifts a limp Tina back to her feet by the hair--she's bleeding from the forehead. Bryte begins screaming in her face, shouting all sorts of obscenities before charging forward and slamming her headfirst into the ringpost. Tina stumbles back into the guardrail, dazed. Bryte flashes a smile to the crowd before grabbing Tina by the hair and sending her into the post a second time. This time, Tina goes tumbling to the ground. Bryte slaps her in the back of the head to add insult to injury. COLE The ref may need to stop this thing here! Now back to his feet, Taylor rushes over to Bryte's side, and begins egging him on. Bryte nails Tina with a hard kick to the head. A second one. A third. Taylor then spins Bryte around, and begins signalling for something. COLE What the hell is he doing? COACH I think...he's telling Bryte to lift something. COLE Oh no! A smile comes across Bryte's face as he steps over Tina's body and begins lifting up the ringside mats. The crowd boos wildly in the background. COLE Oh c'mon now! He's trying to hurt this woman! Bryte's grinning from ear to ear as he grabs Tina in a front headlock and drags her over to the exposed concrete. He then tosses her arm up over his head, and hooks her tights. COLE Oh no! No! Don't do that! COACH We've seen this before! Bryte lifts Tina up into suplex position, holding her high above his head to allow her to thing about it. Then... *WHAM* ...drops her in a brainbuster on the exposed concrete. Backstage, Panther buries his face in his hands. COLE Damn it to hell!!! Chris Bryte...son of a bitch... COACH I think we need some help out here. Bryte has an almost crazed look in his eyes as he lifts Tina off the concrete and rolls her into the ring. He follows her in, and is confronted by the official, who tries to get Bryte under control, but Bryte shoves him hard to the canvas, earning mad heat from the crowd. Bryte then uses Tina's hair to lift her limp body off the canvas, and with the crowd booing him mercilessly, he scoops her up over his shoulder, lifts her into the air, then drops her down in the Bryte out! Tina lands spread eagle on the mat, and Bryte eyes her with a sinister smile. He then makes a nonchalant cover, and tells the referee to count it... 1... 2... NO! Bryte pulls her up. COLE Oh c'mon, no!!! This is unneccessary! A giddy Taylor cheers Bryte on from the outside as he grabs Tina by the hair and lifts him up over his shoulder again. Cups begin flying into the ring as Bryte lifts her into the air and drops her down with a second Bryte out. Another nonchalant cover from the Bryte man... 1... 2... NO! He pulls her up again. The referee gets up in Bryte's face. REFEREE Stop it, Chris! You're gonna kill her! You're gonna kill her! *THUD* Bryte shoves the ref to the canvas. Angered, the official calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* BUFFER Here is your winner, as a result of a disqualification: TIIIIIINAAA! The crowd pops for the announcement, but their cheers are quickly silenced as Bryte drops to his knees and begins hammering down upon Tina with rapid-fire rights to the forehead and temple. He then yanks the unconscious Superwoman back to her feet again. The ref again tries to stop him, but a high kick to the temple sends him flailing to the canvas. Taylor claps on the outside as Bryte scoops Tina up again, and drops her down in one more Bryte Out. Backstage, Panther is pacing like a madman as he watches the assault on Tina. Just then, Kevin Taylor slide into the ring and drops a kendo stick on the canvas. COLE Tina is being assaulted out here by Chris Bryte, and now what is this? What are they gonna do to her now? Bryte and Taylor lift Tina up and drags her over to the ropes, using the top and middle ropes to tie her arms up. Tina lies motionless in the ropes, helpless and bleeding as Taylor hands the kendo stick to Bryte. Chants of "We Want Panther" start up in the crowd. COLE This crowd is chanting for Panther... COACH But what can he do? You heard what Watts said earlier on! If he comes out here and violates that restraining order, he's fired! He'll NEVER get another shot at Bryte, then. That situation is obviously weighing heavily on Panther's mind as he watches the monitor intently. Officials rush the ring to help Tina out, but Bryte sends them scrambling with the kendo stick. He then turns back to Tina with a smile. COLE Oh no! Please, don't! Bryte, don't do it! *CRACK* He nails Tina with a HARD shot to the head! *CRACK* Another! *CRACK* Another! *CRACK* ANOTHER! *CRACK* AND ANOTHER! Blood is pouring from Tina's head as Bryte begins to yell more insults at her. By this time, Panther can take no more, and begins to head out to ringside. COLE Hey! Here comes Panther. COACH But what about what Watts said! What about... COLE This is more important than some job! Bryte is trying to kill Tina out here! Panther rushes through the hallways, up to the gorilla position and through the entrance, sprinting down the ramp to ringside as Bryte continues to talk trash to Tina. Taylor spots Panther headed down to the ring and alerts Bryte, and the pair makes a quick escape as Panther slides to the ring. Panther heads straight to his bloody girlfriend and begins to attend to her, carefully freeing her from the ropes, and clutching her battered body in his arms. By this time, 3 police officers are headed down to the ring. COLE Oh no! Don't tell me... COACH Well...Panther did violate the restraining order! COLE But that's his girlfriend, Coach! I mean, really! How do you expect a man to just sit back while the woman he loves is just...just assaulted in the ring! Tina's hurt bad. Panther continues to attend to Tina in the ring as Bryte, Taylor and the officiers look on from the floor. Unsympathetic, Bryte orders the police officers to arrest Panther. "He violated the restraining order", says Bryte. "ARREST HIM" The officers have a little more sympathy than Bryte, though. "That's his girlfriend, man!" Says the one of the officers. Furious, Bryte turns to another officer and tries to get him to arrest Panther, but he too, is reluctant. Bryte turns to the third, but gets similar results. Frustrated, Bryte hauls off and blasts one of the officers in the head with the kendo stick. COLE Hey! What the hell?! The two others try to grab him, but they catch shots as well. With the officers down, Bryte heads into the ring himself, creeps up behind Panther and... *WHAM* ...blasts him with a hard shot to the back of the head. Panther's body falls on top of the injured Tina, and the boos are deafening as Bryte continues to beat Panther with the kendo stick while he's down. Meanwhile, Kevin grabs two pairs of handcuffs from the fallen cops and tosses them in to Bryte. COACH What the hell is he doing now?! COLE Both Panther and Tina are down...oh no! Taylor enters the ring to help Bryte out as they drag Panther's limp body to the ropes. They cuff Panther's left arm to the top rope, then do the same with the right. Then, with a smile on his face, Bryte rips Panther's jersey off, leaving his back exposed. He then grabs the kendo stick, turns to Panther and... *CRACK* ...nails him with a HARD shot across the back. *CRACK* ...a second one! A third! A fourth! A fifth! COLE Bryte is relentlessly beating Panther now! C'mon!!! Get some help out here! Somebody stop this! Bryte continues to beat Panther, stopping only when a group of cops rush the ring and tackle him. The crowd boos Bryte as he's wrestled to the canvas and cuffed by the cops. Taylor an escape into the crowd as the cops drag Bryte back to his feet and drag him away from ringside. In the ring, officials attend to Panther and Tina, who are both bleeding profusely. COLE I can't believe this, fans! This is horrible! Just horrible....we'll...um...we'll be back. Just horrible....just horrible.... (Go to break)

(Return from break) COACH hehehehehee! As Mikey mentioned much earlier in the show, he recently caught up with a pretty flamboyant dude. Did you have fun? COLE Oh, I’ve never had more fun in my life. *mumbles something* COACH I heard you two really hit it off! Roll footage! [We fade to a shot of Michael Cole walking up to the front door of a home. He rings the doorbell. And the door opens, revealing "El Guapo Guerrero" Rick Shirley. Rick is in purple parachute pants and a Vikings 69 jersey.] "EL GUAPO GUERRERO" RICK SHIRLEY Well damn.. I must have been a good boy this year. [Cole groans slightly] MICHAEL COLE Well, I don't do this often. SHIRLEY Oh Cole, you can do me all you want. COLE You know, this is disgusting. SHIRLEY It's Heinous.. come on in to the Lovecastle! [Cole enters the house, and walks into a living room with powderblue wallpaper and a red couch. Cole sits down on the couch.] SHIRLEY I want these Oww-asst fans to know and love me. I was one of them. I'm a big fan. COLE That's nice to know. SHIRLEY Oh yeah, Zack Malibu is the hottest thing i've evah seen. That counts you Cole. COLE Okay.. SHIRLEY My god.. that Zack Malibu.. you gotta be hot like the sun to have the big gold and let me tell you Cole.. I want to do some Judo with him. COLE Well, what are your goals for the OAOAST? And please, answer with something that doesn't imply sex. SHIRLEY It's not my problem that some people are perverts. Like you Cole. Peeeervert. I'm a bit of a pervert. But I bring my lunch and I can put a guy in line if I need to. I'm not here to french Zack Malibu, Hoff or Candie. I'm not here to get with Scotty Static or whatever. I'm here to win. I know that I can succeed. I have moves Cole. Do you want me to demonstrate them on you? COLE No thanks SHIRLEY Damn, I thought you were like that Cole. My world is shaaaattered. COLE Well, in the next few weeks, we'll see you in actio-- SHIRLEY Awww yeah Cole. Let me tell you this Big Boy. I will unleash my pink mist, the deadly mist from Japan. I will do my kiss of death. I will take you to Heartbreak Hotel. I will hump you on the bed, and leave you alone in the morning. I will leave you breathless Cole. I'm just too damn handsome for the women and the men to handle. Trust me Cole. COLE Sure [shirley starts to lick his bicep] COLE Oh my.. SHIRLEY Do you want a taste? Cole.. I will go like a tornado over the Ow-asst and I will emerge as the top dog in the herd. Cole.. do you want to go to my bedroom? [Cole gets up and paces towards the door.] COLE No, sorry, gotta go SHIRLEY Damn, nobody fucks on the first date these days. [Cole exits from the home and runs towards the street. We fade to commercial] (Go to break)

COLE And now we’re going to go backstage with Miss Jackie, who has the special guest referee for tonight’s X-Title Match. Miss Jackie? The camera flashes back to Miss Jackie, who is now standing next to Drek Stone. Much like before, the crowd pleasures in the chance to boo the former Italian Champion. JACKIE Hi, Michael. I’m here with Drek Stone. Mr Stone, I really have just one important question for you tonight. What exactly are your motives here? Why have you chosen to be the Special Guest Referee tonight? DREK Well, Jackie, that is actually a very meaningful and well-thought out question. So much unlike your previous work. So let me just answer that question in a few words. Drek casually pulls the microphone out of Jackie’s hand, completely ignoring her judgmental look. DREK I’m doing this tonight as a favor to Leon Rodez. “BOO!” DREK No, seriously. It’s true. Believe it or not, Eddy Kalm taught me a lot about myself when I went to see him for support two weeks ago. I learned so much about reforming myself – bracing myself for the future while making sure that I don’t dwell too much on the past. And you know what? When Leon Rodez passed me with that sarcastic comment…. JACKIE The Don ought to have you whacked for that performance… Drek slowly winces and shuts his eyes, still hurting from that cynical remark. DREK Yes, Jackie. Thanks for all your help. Well, Leon actually helped me with that comment. He only further fueled my desire to escape the reputation I once had. Eddy helped me realize that the way I had been carrying myself couldn’t be continued if I really was to succeed around here. There was a reason I lost in that Hell-in-the-Cell match against The Mad Cappa. I have been focused so long on trying to find the best ways to antagonize my opponents – antagonize these fans – without paying the proper attention to succeeding. This was a major weakness I had. And Eddy Kalm – as well as Leon Rodez – helped point that out. DREK So, you see…..tonight, I’m here to show my gratitude. Without realizing it, Leon helped me in the hallway that day. And I’m going to find the proper way to thank him. Because, tonight, I’m going to be the Special Guest Referee in the X-Championship match tonight. And Leon, don’t you worry about a damn thing. Because, with me by your side, you WILL be walking out with the X-Title tonight! You helped me! And now I’ll help you! Leon, welcome to the OAOAST. It’s about time you get a championship. And you’ll have me to thank… Drek hands off the microphone to Miss Jackie and cooly walks away. The camera cuts away from Jackie, back to Michael Cole and The Coach sitting at the announce booth. COLE What the hell is that about? Did Drek Stone really just say he’s going to be there to make sure Leon walks out of the match with the X-Title? This doesn’t make any sense. COACH It makes a little sense. In his mind, Leon helped him by taunting him in the hallway. And now he wants to make sure that he could truly thank Leon for playing a part in his reformation. All that matters is that this situation makes sense to Drek. COLE Well, what does this now say about Rick Edwards? Is his three-month title reign ready to end right here? COACH If Drek has anything to do with it, it will. COLE Well, folks, the X-Title match is coming up later tonight! (Go to break) (Return from break) COLE The OAOAST would like to congratulate our very own All American Boys, II & III, for winning a tournament in Japan to become the first-ever HIYAH tag team champions. Many tag teams from around the world competed in a one night tournament, which ended with the All American Boys defeating the Dudley Boyz. Before you ask, the WWE let their talent compete in another promotion. It was before HIYAH & the OAOAST signed a talent exchange agreement. So expect to see talent from the HIYAH promotion making the ocassional visit to OAOAST TV and vice versa. As a matter of fact, rumor has it the All American Boys will make their OAOAST return next week in a title defense. I know Bill Watts would love to book a champion vs. champion match between the two sides tag titleholders. I'm being told in my headset -- I understand Jesse "The Body" Ventura is standing by with Bill Watts. JESSE That's right, Michael Cole. Here with me is none other than the Chairman of the board of directors, "Cowboy" Bill Watts. Bill, you promised me if you had any news, I'd be the first to know. Whatcha got? WATTS About 5 minutes ago I got off a conference call with the rest of the board, but I want to say something first. I think it's become quite clear Jim Cornette had something to do with the attack on Hell's Hitmen. We've heard strong rumors Jim Cornette's attorneys cut a deal with Hell's Hitmen giving the NNMX their title shot. Apparently they -- Hell's Hitmen -- were told it was a loan from Cornette's trust fund, but in actuality it was a contract transfering their championship match to the NNMX. After they found out about Cornette's double-cross, they confronted him about it. That's when we believe the NNMX attacked. JESSE These are just rumors, though. WATTS Very strong rumors. However, Mr. Cornette is correct: I believe when you can give the fans more than they bargained for, you do it. That said, we decide to give GPX two options -- take the night off, because their scheduled opponents cannot compete tonight, or allow the New New Midnight Express to take their place. Jim Cornette has been begging for a chance for his boys to compete for the World's tag belts, but the champs hold the cards in their hands. So I went to GPX and told 'em the NNMX wanna hook 'em up, do you? They said, "Whenever, wherever, we're met to kick their ass", which I took as a yeah, let's hook 'em up. So, right here, later tonight, they're gonna hook 'em up! The World's tag team titles will be on the line -- the New New Midnight Express vs. the Global Party XChange. Bill leaves the interview position. JESSE Whoa! There you have it. Later on tonight the NNMX will face GPX for the tag titles. James E. finally gets his team another shot at the gold. I can't wait. HeldDown will return after this quick time-out. ANGLESLAM TWO WEEKS AWAY August 29, 2004 LIVE ONLY ON PAY-PER-VIEW SEGMENT 3: THE MATCH * DING DING DING * HeldDOWN~! OAOAST TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH The New New Midnight Express vs. The Global Party XChange BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, HeldDown continues with a battle for the OAOAST tag team championship of the world. It is set for one fall. Introducing first, the challengers, to be introduced by their manager. Jim Cornette, looking more cheerful than earlier tonight, leads his team to the ring as "Chase" continues playing. The Midnights have the old tinted blue tag titles around their waists. Cornette's opening spiel is nearly drowned out by the chants of "GPX". CORNETTE They're two walking weapons of mass destruction, the real OAOAST tag team champions, "Sarcastic" Simon & "Narcissistic" Ned, the New New Midnight Express! In a world full of posers, phonies, and pure wannabees, there finally emerges a group which has come to the set the record straight. So all you suckers better recognize, ya heard Can you say uhhh na na na na... BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, their opponents, from Hotlanta & the 313 respectively, Scotty Static & Johnny "Jam" Jackson, the OAOAST tag team champions of the world -- The Global Party XChange! GPX run to the ring, the NNMX stomping them as they slide underneath the bottom rope. Simon & Ned with a fury of punches. GPX fight back with their own, eventually taking the momentum away from the NNMX. Johnny whips Ned into the ropes and catches Blanchard coming back at him. SWINGING BEARHUG INTO URANAGE (Rock Bottom). Scotty with a legsweep on Simon, SPRINGBOARD MOONSAULT. 1... 2... The Midnights kickout. Cornette takes a swipe at Scotty's foot, allowing Simon to nail him from behind with a knee to the back, sending Static over the top, to the floor. Singleton with a double-axehandle on Jackson. Singleton & Blanchard clubber Johnny before whipping him into the ropes. Flapjack coming up. SPRINGBOARD DROPKICK by Scotty just as the NNMX were about to hit the FLAPJACK, which was COUNTERED INTO A DOUBLE DDT~! 1... 2... Cornette pulls Simon out of the ring. "GPX~! GPX~! GPX~!" COLE The crowd chanting "GPX", but let's talk about that incredible reversal from Johnny "Jam" Jackson. Simon & Ned had Johnny up in the air for the Flapjack but Scotty came off the apron with a beautiful spingboard dropkick, causing the Midnights to fall forward, allowing Johnny to cradle their heads for the DDT. The New New Midnight Express & Jim Cornette huddle on the outside, near Black T who are sitting ringside, enjoying lobster, celebrating T-Bod's birthday by attending the show as fans. Jivin' J.R. serves his boys some more red wine. "Narcissistic" Ned & Cornette basically have to help Simon to his feet, still dazed from that DDT. Scotty with a PESCADO onto the NNMX & Jim Cornette! Static hurdled the top rope and came down on Cornette & the Express with a cross-bodyblock, then blows a kiss at Black T who sarcastically pretend to blush, acting like a couple of schoolgirls with their first crush. T-Bod shouts "You wish, asshole!" Back in the ring, GPX flash the NNMX's "X" hand gesture by using their middle fingers, insulting them. COLE Jim Cornette got what he wanted. He wanted GPX...he got them live and in living color. COACH Also available in Hi-Def. COLE If you're just tuning in, yes, you're watching the New New Midnight Express vs. the Global Party XChange for the tag team championship. Hell's Hitmen were attacked earlier tonight... Bill Watts believing Jim Cornette & the NNMX were behind it... Cornette offered his Midnights as replacements... Watts ask GPX if they'd be okay defending the titles against them rather than taking the night off because their original opponents wouldn't be able to compete tonight. COACH And Caboose is gone. COLE Yeah, we saw what happened to him earlier tonight. The rapid-fire action from moments ago cools down, Simon & Johnny take in their partners. "Narcissistic" Ned swings over-the-top into the ring, squats down, then stretches his legs/hamstrings. Ned walks around the ring with a slight strut before locking up in a collar-and-elbow tieup. Both men jockey for position. Scotty's in control, backing Ned into the corner. Referee Nick Patrick asks for the clean break, and gets just...the opposite. Ned uses his "educated feet" to catch Static with a quick kick to the abdomen. Blanchard shoves Scotty into the corner...CHOP, CHOP, CHOP. WOOOOO! Scotty clutches his chest, his eyes widing with every knife edge chop from "Narcissistic" Ned Blanchard. Knee to the gut, followed by a snapmare. Well done. Ned drops the knee on Static's sternum. Another kneedrop to the sternum. And another, this time on Scotty's forehead. COACH 1...2...Scotty forcefully kicks out, still too early in the match. Although you never know, all it takes is 3 seconds. It takes Michael Cole three seconds just to ejacu... COLE Hey now. COACH You're not an all-star. Ned with a gutwrench suplex. Tagged made to Simon. Singleton heads to the top, about to do what he does best...come off the top with a high-risk maneuver. FLYING KNEEDROP TO THE CHEST. We cut to a shot of Black T watching on, grabbing their chests after that high impact move. 1... 2... Johnny breaks up the count. From the protection of his corner, Cornette tells it like it is to Johnny, who responses with a pelvic thrust in the direction of the "Clown Prince of Polyster." Sickening how the kiddies act today. COLE It's well-known Scotty has broken ribs, and those of you who understand the body know the sternum supports the rib area. Instead of taking time off Scotty works every night in pain. You have to give them that. COACH His profession of choice requires physical contact. OAOAST TICKER: You're watching HeldDOWN~! on TSM... Order AngleSlam (August 29) - Live On Pay-Per-View, call your local cable or satellite provider to order now... Tickets on-sale tomorrow for The following cities: Chicago, IL; San Jose, CA; Atlanta, GA; San Antonio, TX; Malibu, CA; Louisville, KY... The lastest edition of OAOAST Magazine on-sale now... Bored on Mondays? Catch Thrillogy on Late Night w/Conan O'Brien Monday night at 12:30 a.m. eastern time on NBC Simon rolls Scotty over on his stomach. He wraps up Static's ankles, grabs his chin and swings back. BOW & ARROW. A submission maneuver rarely used nowadays. Simon pulls back on the chin and ankles, increasing the amount of pressure not only on the chin and ankles but the sternum area as well. "Narcissistic" Ned taunts Johnny "Jam" Jackson into the ring, forcing the referee to turn his attention away from Simon & Scotty to Johnny, allowing Ned to come in and kick Scotty in the face with the flat of the boot. Ned rushes out of the ring once Johnny returns to his corner, rubbing his hands through his hair like nothing had nothing. Jim Cornette, being the managerial genius that he is, gets the crowd to chant "SCOTTY" after beginning a mock chant. He covers up his ears, which sparks a louder chant of... "LET'S GO SCOTTY. LET'S GO!" *clap clap clap clap clap* "LET'S GO SCOTTY. LET'S GO!" *clap clap clap clap clap* "LET'S GO SCOTTY. LET'S GO!" *clap clap clap clap clap* Static fights out of the bow & arrow by BITING Simon's FINGERS, forcing him to release the hold. On all floors, Scotty catches Simon with a couple of REVERSE ELBOW'S TO THE FACE. Static SLAMS Singleton's HEAD INTO THE MAT, then GRINDS it against the canvas! Simon rubs his face trying to ease the mat burn. Cornette screams at Simon to keep Scotty, who's crawling towards the center of the ring, near their corner. COLE (in fakest enthusuastic voice) Come on, Scotty! You can do it. You can do it! You're so close, yet so far. You're almost there... "Narcissistic" Ned enters the ring and nails Johnny "Jam" with a forearm shot, knocking him down to the floor, just as Scotty drove for the tag. Blanchard with a front facelock...SLINGSHOT SUPLEX. Ned puts his hands in the air, telling the referee "Okay, okay. I'm going back. I'm going back." COLE Damn him! If it weren't for "Narcissistic" Ned Scotty would of made the tag. Scotty has to go through more hell. Simon tags in Blanchard, who does a funny-looking dance as he delivers a PILEDRIVER. Ned pins Scotty with one finger. What narcissism. COACH They don't call him "Narcissistic" Ned for nothin'. 1... 2... 3! HELL NO! Scotty kicked out. Cornette rests his head on the apron, upset Ned didn't cover Static more effectively. Ned slaps himself for the arrogant cover. Ned with the tag. "Sarcastic" Simon scoopes up Scotty. SLINGSHOT BACKBREAKER! Singleton motions to the top. Ned comes into the ring, places one hand under Simon's thigh, the other near on his upper chest. He launches (pun intended) Simon off the turnbuckle. ROCKET LAUNCHER! No! Scotty GOT HIS KNEES UP. Simon nearly falls outside the ring after impact. "Narcissistic" Ned clubbers Scotty's back. He whips him into the ropes. No! Static reversed it and whipped Ned into the ropes. Johnny "Jam" pulls down the top rope, causing Blanchard to fall over-the-top to the floor. Cornette waddles over to assist "Narcissistic" Ned. Scotty slowly crawls to his corner, each inch building to the dramatic HOT TAG~! There it is, nearly blowing the roof off the place. Scotty stays down by his corner. "Sarcastic" Simon charges J.J. but is taken back to the 7th grade. Johnny sends Simon down with right hands. He ducks an attempted clothesline and connects with a DROPKICK. Scotty joins his partner. They hammer "Sarcastic" Simon with punches, knocking one-half of the NNMX into the ropes. Irish whip. Scotty leapfrogs over Simon, as does Scotty. BOOM! DOUBLE HIP TOSS! Scotty Static swings over-the-top onto "Narcissistic" Ned & James E. Cornette. In the ring, Johnny lifts up Simon in a cradle position, perhaps a spinebuster coming up. What power being shown by the 21-year-old out of the 313 in Detroit Rock City. Scotty is climbing to the top. Johnny squats down and leans over, exposing "Sarcastic" Simon's head. Simon shakes his head no. THE VEGOMATIC~! COLE The Global Party XChange just used the Midnight's own maneuver on them. My goodness! But they aren't done yet. Jackson's calling for it, that pumphandle into piledriver move he's calls the "Beat Drop". BEAT DROP~! 1... Scotty knocks Cornette off the ring apron. 2... 3! NOT YET! "Narcissistic" Ned pulls Johnny out of the ring. The two exchange punches, the sweat flying out of their hair with every punch. Johnny's partner Scotty helps him out, grabbing Ned from behind and telling JJ to go finish off Simon. Static & Blanchard fall on the floor, one trying to escape and the other trying to hold on. Back in the ring, Johnny with another cover: 1... 2... Simon kicks out! Johnny looks towards the heavens--thinking maybe we should've gone for the pin after the Vegomatic. You can't think about that now. If "Narcissistic" Ned doesn't break up the pin moments ago, this match is over. Back outside Ned's still trying to break the death grip of Scotty. Ned tries using reverse elbows, counter moves, to break free but Static has him well positioned. Ned has one last alternative: ram Scotty into the steel guardrails. He does just that, backing Scotty into the guardrailing until he let's go. Remember, Scotty broked those ribs after Hell's Hitmen hit him with that powerbomb-clothesline combination on the concrete floor a few weeks back, and the NNMX worked over that region of the body earlier in the match. If you've ever had a bruised rib, you know how hard it is just to breathe, so imagine the pain he must be feeling with a broken one. COACH I'm feeling left out, so...BOO-YAH! Finally, after the fourth attempt, Ned breaks free, then tosses Scotty over the railing onto the laps of none other than the previous tag team champions Black T, tipping over their wine and lobster. Dan & T-Bod rise to their feet, wiping the dripping red wine off their elegant shirts--none of those $5.99 K-Mart t-shirts either, custom-made $5,000 dress shirts here, folks. J.R. (Off Screen, but we can hear him screaming) Did you see that?! Scotty drove over the security railing to attack Black T. They're trying to enjoying the show, and that coward, Scotty Static, assaults them. Uncalled. Un-F'N-called for. I'm ashamed to be working in the same company as those thugs. COLE What?! He must be watching a different match. The crowd throws garbage at Black T after they tossed Scotty back over the railing. Black T cuss out the fans, saying they're just trying to enjoying the show. Dan picks up the silver platter that held Black T's lobster and looks at it, upset that a $3,000 dinner has gone to waste. Jim Cornette tries to enter the ring so he can freshen up Simon, but referee Nick Patrick stops him on the apron. In the ring, Johnny notices what Black & T-Bod have done but has 2 major decisions to make -- save his partner, or go for the win. Realizing if he can't get a quick pin he'll be at a 2-on-1 disadvantage, he decides to help his partner who's getting stomped by Ned outside the ring. JJ runs the ropes to pick up momentum. He dives between the top and middle rope. "Narcissistic" Ned turns around, and with a deer-in-the-headlights look, freezes. Down goes Blanchard. BAM~! Dan Black nailed Johnny with that SILVER PLATTER across his face! J.J. was going for a plancha but T-Bod shoved Ned out of the way, allowing Dan a clear shot. Johnny is just inches away from his partner, Scotty, who's clutching those ribs like there's no tomorrow. COACH We're gonna have no champs, Mikey. Hell's Hitmen must be watching on--assuming they've awoken in the mental ward--with great joy. James E. has said the NNMX are winning one for hell's pyschopaths. COLE Yeah, after they had them taken out. Everybody knows Cornette couldn't stand those two. "Narcissistic" Ned tosses Johnny back into the ring. Noticeably in pain Scotty tries to pull himself up, using the guardrail, but T-Bod SMASHES A WINE BOTTLE over his head, spilling all the red wine on the protective mats outside. T-Bod looks at the camera with grin on his face. Simon with the cover: 1... 2.... COLE No. No. Nooo! 3! Referee Nick Patrick WAVES IT OFF, saying Johnny just got the shoulder up, infuriating Jim Cornette, who had his run-in with Patrick weeks ago, to the point where the board of directors kept Patrick from officiating tag title bouts until they cleared him of allegations Jim Cornette filed against him, how he wasn't fit to referee and was biased against the NNMX. Simon & Ned double-team JJ, then whip him into the ropes. He ducks a double-clothesline attempt and hits one of his own. The crowd stands firmly behind Johnny, chanting his name. Jackson ducks a right hand from Blanchard and lifts him up for a back suplex, but Ned floats over and nails Johnny behind the head with an ENZIGURI, bouncing him off the turnbuckle right into the grasps of "Sarcastic" Simon's SMALL PACKAGE. 1... 2... 3! COLE Damnit! * DING DING DING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winners, and new professional wrestling tag team champions of the world, "Sarcastic" Simon & "Narcissistic" Ned, the New New Midnight Express. Simon & Ned raise their arms in victory, elated. Michael Buffer hands referee Nick Patrick the brand new $30,000 tag title belt along with the old tinted blue belts the NNMX stole from GPX after they defeated Black T for the titles two weeks ago. Cornette swipes the belts away from Nick Patrick. He jumps -- or at least we think he's jumping -- around the ring, obviously thrilled his Midnights are now the titleholders. He asks Buffer to repeat the decision as he gives all four belts to his men. BUFFER Once again, you're winners, and NEW OAOAST tag team champions, "Sarcastic" Simon & "Narcissistic" Ned, the New New Midnight Express. The NNXM kiss the belts then strap them around their waists. The NNMX pose with Cornette holding the tinted blue belts behind them. COLE The NNMX own all the tag team gold. I wouldn't call this an upset, but a major shocker here tonight. We had come into tonight thinking GPX would defend the titles against Hell's Hitmen, but they were taken out by either the NNMX and/or Black T. COACH Allegedly, Michael Cole. Allegedly. COLE Call whatever you want, evidence points to either the Midnights or Black T. COACH Watts seems to think it was the NNMX. Hey, for all we know, it could of been an act of God. He doesn't like the Devil, you know? COLE In any event, the New New Midnight Express have defeated the Global Party XChange to become tag team champions. It was a great back-and-forth match that saw Black T get involved towards the end. COACH Since you're obviously biased, let THE COACH recap the events. Scotty Static tried to assault Black T on live national television, until Dan Black & T-Bod defend themselves. Some drunk in the crowd threw a wine bottom which unfortunately hit Scotty in the head, knocking him out. Johnny begged for mercy in the ring, but this is wrestling, and the NNMX finished him off. COLE You'd make a great fiction writer, you know that? COACH I only speak the truth. I guess that means it's Black T vs. the New New Midnight Express at AngleSlam. COLE You think? COLE What a tough month-and-a-half it's been for GPX. They managed to keep fighting...but it was too much for them this week. We'll be... We'll be right back. (Go to break)

(We go backstage where Rick Edwards is looking in a mirror with his X Title over his shoulder. His face is bruised from the beating he took last week. The fans cheer as we listen in.) RICK I should be happier right now. I finally have my match against J. Arthur and hopefully I can finally get my revenge on Father. I’m even the X Division Champ, but it still feels like something is missing. *Leah Blackstone walks over and puts her hand on his shoulder and the fans cheer again.* LEAH Maybe you’ll feel better once this whole thing is over? RICK I’m not sure I will. I changed so much to distance myself from Father only to find that it was exactly what he wanted. LEAH You were manipulated by JAE. It’s not your fault. You had every reason to think he was sincere because he is family. RICK What do I do now? Who am I Leah? Am I a hero? Am I just some sap who is easily manipulated? LEAH That’s something you’ll have to figure out for yourself. I can’t tell you what is going on in your head. No matter what you’re in good company now. We won’t try to manipulate you in any way. RICK I know that now. What I don’t know is if I can ever go back to how I was before. LEAH You mean… *Judas walks in and drops his bag by a chair. Rick and Leah look over at him.* RICK Judas what are you doing here? JUDAS I’m tired of hiding. If Father and Cain want to bring me out of exile then so be it. RICK Does this mean you’re accepting Cain’s challenge for AngleSlam? JUDAS Yes I am. RICK Are you sure you know what you’re getting into? Did you see what he did to me last week? JUDAS Rick I’ve realized that wrestling is the only thing I do well. If I don’t come back I’ll go crazy. I may not have the answers to what I am exactly yet, but I realize now this is the only place I’m going to find those answers. I… *Judas is cut off by a scream from Leah. The camera whips around to show Cain standing in the doorway with a smile on his face. Leah hides behind Rick with her arms around him.* CAIN I thought I saw you come in Judas. So you accept my challenge? I beat his ass within an inch of his life *points to Rick* so beating the carbon copy shouldn’t be hard. *Judas walks over to Cain and stands right in front of him.* JUDAS Have you ever gone toe to toe with a man who’s not afraid to die? If I am no more than a clone without a soul then I have nothing to fear when I die. Then again I have nothing to look forward to so that makes me a pretty pissed off man. I might as well enjoy life while it lasts and the one thing I would enjoy right now is beating your ass. *Cain smirks* CAIN Then I guess you’ll stay pissed off because that’s not going to happen. *Cain pulls the chain from his pocket and wraps it around his fist* I’ll just have to make your face look like his *points at Rick* and then you’ll have even more to whine about. So until AngleSlam stock up on all the anti-depressants and Linkin Park CD’s that you can because you’ll need them. *Cain leaves the room and everyone relaxes finally. Once Judas regains his composure he leaves the room without a word. Leah turns back to face Rick and hugs him.* LEAH Ever since Cain threw me off that stage I shudder at the mere mention of his name. RICK I wouldn’t worry about him. You’re in good company…just like you said earlier. *She looks up at him and their faces seem to draw closer as Rick leans forward and…* JUDAS I forgot my bag… *Rick and Leah stand upright and look at Judas. Judas gives them a funny look before grabbing his bag and walking back out the door. You can hear Judas laugh in the hallway as he leaves and we fade out.* ****** Generic promo music plays in the background as we return to footage from an OAOAST House Show. COLE (Voice over) Wrestling fans, excitement was in the air this past weekend as the OAOAST invaded Hamilton, Ontario with a spectacular Live Event! COACH (Ditto) Yeah! Peep this footage right here and you'll see why there's nothing better than catching the OAOAST LIVE! Highlights from the show play...nothing really special going on. Just clips of the typical house show stuff. You know...footage of stars like the Thrillogy, Rick Edwards, GPX, Sly and Crystal in action while ringside fans cheer, hold up signs, and get attacked by Eddie Guerrero, all while proclaiming this event to be the BEST EXPERIENCE EVAR~! We then cut to footage of Jackie Gayda in the ring with a mic and one hand and a bunch of OAOAST t-shirts in the other. COLE What an eventful evening it was. However, there was one incident on the show that nearly ruined this magical evening. There you see Jackie Gayda in the ring--still feeling the effects of that errant chairshot she suffered from Panther last week. She was there to advertise OAOAST merchandise to the fans in attendence. There you see her displaying t-shirts for a number of OAOAST athletes, and when she got to Panther's t-shirt-- COACH Only $19.99 + shipping and handling! BUY IT NOW! COLE --guess who shows up! COACH OOH! OOH! I know that! I know! It was...Chris Bryte, right? COLE Correct! (tosses Coach a Scooby Snack) Chris Bryte and his...ASSHOLE of an uncle...this Kevin Yancy Taylor. They come down to ringside, and once again, they begin to berate Jackie! Why does Chris Bryte continue to torment this woman?! COACH I dunno, but he got on her hard! You can see them in the ring, there! Taylor's insulting her abilities as a broadcaster...Bryte's on her about advertising for Panther when Panther "viciously attacked her" last week with a chair. COLE Bryte pulled her in the way of that shot, by the way...for those of you who missed it last week. Bottom line is that Chris Bryte was being an asshole, here's where he crossed the line, fans! He comes up to Jackie and says "do you wanna sell something? I've got some footage of Tina..." COACH Wow... COLE Exactly. He tries to sell this...I dunno. This sex tape of Tina...he claims he's doing it to expose Tina to the world...to show just what kind of freak she really is. I dunno what to say about that, but that didn't sit to well with Panther, as you can see here! Panther charges the ring and spears Bryte to the canvas. He begins laying into him with hard right hands as the fans cheer in the background. COLE Panther unleashing his frustration on Chris Bryte. He's fighting for his girlfriend's honor, but in doing so, he--unfortunately--violated a restraining order that Chris Bryte had placed on him last week! And here you see the end result... Police rush the ring and pry Panther off of Bryte, to LOUD boos from the crowd. Panther is cuffed and dragged away kicking and screaming. COLE ...Panther is arrested for the second time in less than a week. The fans didn't like it, but the look on Taylor's face tells the story...he absolutely loved it! COACH Yeah, my boy Panther got taken to jail, but things didn't end there! COLE No they didn't. See, as Bryte began gloating about what he had done--about the way he and Taylor had played Panther--Jackie Gayda...our broadcast colleague...well...she snapped! Jackie hauls off and SLAPS Bryte across the face, to a HUGE pop from the crowd. COLE Jackie slapping the taste outta Chris Bryte's mouth. She had finally had enough of Chris Bryte! All the things that Bryte has done over the past few months--to Panther, to Tina, to Jackie herself--they all served to push this woman over the edge, and she absolutely lost it! JACKIE You are the biggest asshole I have ever seen in my life, Bryte! You're a complete asshole, and you're damn lucky that I'm not a man, because if I was, I'd kick your sorry ass myself! COLE And here's where things got interesting. BRYTE Well why don't you try it, Jackie? I mean...c'mon Miss Tough enough! Why doncha show the Bryte man what Al and the gang taught you? Why doncha show these people here tonight? COLE Jackie was initially reluctant, but after further goading by Bryte and Taylor, she accepted, and later that night, the match was on! We flash to later footage of Bryte and Jackie in the ring, both in wrestling gear. COLE Chris Bryte vs. Jackie Gayda, one-on-one! COACH Yeah, Mikey! Jackie was trying to take a page outta your book and pick up the upset win! COLE But Chris Bryte wasn't gonna allow that to happen so easily! Take a look this beating that Bryte put on Gayda! Bryte traps Jackie in the corner and nails her with a HARD open hand strike to the chest. Flash to later footage of Bryte trapping her in a front facelock and driving knee lifts into her face. Later, he blasts her in the face with a Yakuza kick! Followed up by a soccer kick to the gut while she's on her hands and knees. Roundhouse kick to the head. Enzuiguri! At one point, Jackie manages to fight her way out of a submission hold and runs to the ropes, but when she comes off, Bryte NAILS her with a rolling Koppu kick right to the face. The end result of the beating is Jackie lying on the canvas bleeding from both her mouth and her nose, with her right eye swelling badly. COLE Chris Bryte beat the HELL outta Jackie Gayda...just goes to show what type of lowlife this man is! Jackie was hurt and hurt badly, and Bryte was just about to go for the kill, when... COACH Look at this! Suddenly, an unknown man comes from the crowd and charges the ring, attempting to get at Bryte. The referee manages to catch him by the waist and wrestle him to the ground, and the two men struggle for a moment as security and event staff rush over to help. COLE This unknown man charging the ring. He would later be identified as Tommy Gunn...the older brother of "J-Dogg" Johnny Gunn, who was killed by Chris Bryte's Hand a little under a month ago. Gunn trying to get into the ring...he wanted revenge on Bryte in the worst way, and as officials tried to get him outta the ring... The crowd pops as Tina comes out from the locker room. Both the official is preoccupied with Gunn, Tina slides into the ring, spins Bryte around and blasts him with the DDTina, knocking him out cold! COLE And there you see right there, Tina hitting Bryte with the DDTina! Tina getting a measure of revenge on Chris Bryte, and there you see.... ??? (in the arena) WAIT A MINUTE! WAIT A MINUTE!! CUT THAT DAMNED FOOTAGE OFF RIGHT NOW!!!!! CUT IT OFF NOW!!!!!! The video stops abruptly, and we immediately cut to live action, where Chris Bryte and Kevin Yancy Taylor storm out from the locker room and head down to ringside. Taylor's got a mic in his hand, and neither man looks happy as they stomp up the ring stairs and enter the ring, greeted by chants of "ASSHOLE" by the rabid Calgary crowd. Taylor's face is a deep red as he looks into the camera with fury in his eyes. TAYLOR You see!!! This is exactly what I was talking about! This is exactly why I have come to the OAOAST! Once again, my nephew, Chris Bryte, has fallen victim to the propaganda machine that is the OAOAST! Once again, the OAOAST has tried to sully his reputation with this doctored footage, and I will not allow that to happen! I will not allow the OAOAST to get away with it. So once again, I...Kevin...Yancy...Taylor, will enlighten you uninformed masses, and tell you all the truth about just what went down this past weekend at that house show! The camera focuses on a sign in the crowd that reads "PANTHER'S GONNA KILL YOU" before cutting back to ringside, where Taylor continues. TAYLOR Now this weekend's house show was a great event! It was indeed a magical evening...that is, until it was ruined by this trollup Jackie Gayda and her unprofessional journalistic behavior! I mean, Chris and I only came down to that ring to help her! We came down to that ring to see if she was ok after what that cad Panther did to her last week here on HeldDOWN...I mean, to attack a poor, innocent woman...(crowd boos) I swear, riffraff like Panther do not deserve to walk the streets! So Chris and I--being the kindhearted individuals that we are--came down to check on her! And not just to check on her, but to cheer her up! To bring a smile to her face! To--as they say on the streets--"turn that frown upside down"! Contrary to what Michael Cole and the rest of the hack announce team would want you to believe, our intentions were good! Our hearts were pure! But unfortunately, that lunatic Jackie Gayda just would not allow us to accomplish what we set out to accomplish! The woman snaps, pulls a gun on my nephew and me... COLE Oh please! TAYLOR ...and she had a bomb as well! She was threatening to blow up the arena! She could've killed thousands and thousands of people! (crowd boos) COLE This man is so full of shit! TAYLOR Chris Bryte did what he had to do in order to avert a disaster of immense proportions, and yet when it's all said and done...rather than worship him...rather than hold him up as the hero he is, the OAOAST launches yet another smear campaign, in what is perhaps the most blatant attempt to bury a man's career that I have ever seen! Triple H has nothing on the OAOAST, people, and for that, I say SHAAAAAME! SHAME ON YOU ALL! Chants of "WE WANT PANTHER" start up in the crowd, drawing Bryte's ire. He covers his ears and begins to stomp the canvas, imploring the crowd to pipe down. Taylor's also unnerved by the chants, and it shows in his face. TAYLOR You know...(chants continue)...you know--SHUT UP!!!!!! (crowd boos) As far as the end of that video goes...it need not be seen, for you see, I...KEVIN...YANCY...TAYLOR...will tell you all just what happened. You see, Tina ran out and hit Bryte with the DDTina...and it LOOKED as if Chris Bryte was actually knocked out, but I assure you that he was not! You weren't even hurt at all, were you, Chris? BRYTE Nope! TAYLOR Exactly! My nephew wasn't phased at all by that pitiful attack! I mean...(laughs) to think that Chris Bryte could actually be hurt by the attack of mere woman...(crowd boos) oh! Don't get me wrong! Nothing against women, but seriously...this is Chris Bryte we're talking about! The Brytest rising star in ALL of the OAOAST! To think that a woman can hold a candle to his greatness is...well...it's quite laughable, don't you think? HA! Anyway, end of story, Bryte came back and won the match! THE END! Production crew, I WANNA SEE THAT FOOTAGE AGAIN! I WANT IT BURNED, DAMN IT! DO YOU HEAR ME?! I WANT IT BURNED! Taylor begins breathing more rapidly as ringside fans continue to heckle them. Suddenly, cheers come up from the crowd as the camera shifts focus to the stage, where Tina emerges from the locker room. Clad in a black tank top with the words "Panther Fever" printed on the front in red letters, black shorts and black boots, Tina smiles as she looks down to Taylor and Bryte at ringside. TINA (clapping) Bravo, Taylor! Bravo! TAYLOR WHAT DO YOU WANT, WENCH?! TINA I just wanted to commend you two on that little spiel of yours! I mean, dang, Kevy...you sure set did set the record straight! I mean, really, people, the more I listen to this man, the more I believe every word he says is the gospel! Think about it: Kevin Taylor is absolutely right! The OAOAST has got it all wrong about Chris Bryte; He's really a saint! Take my word for it, people! I was engaged to the guy! I know! I mean...who cares that he tried to ruin Panther's and my career! That he tried to wreck us emotionally! That he's been picking on a helpless announcer for over a month now! That he's directly responsible for a man's death! Chris Bryte is the greatest, most honorable man ever to walk the face of this earth! I can see it now, Kevy! Thanks to you, I can see the light. Taylor eyes her with disdain from the ring as she continues. TINA (giggles) And ya know...you are absolutely right when you say that no woman on the face of this earth can hold a candle to him. I mean, damn it, HE'S THE BRYTEST STAR IN THE GAME! HE'S THE FUTURE OF PRO WRESTLER! THERE'S NOT A WOMAN ON THE FACE OF THIS PLANET THAT'S CAPABLE OF BEATING CHRIS... Suddenly, the Angletron lights up one more time, showing footage of Jackie Gayda covering Bryte for... 1... 2... 3!!!!!!! *DING DING DING* ANNOUNCER Here is your winner: JACKIIIIIIIEEEEEE GAAAAAYYYDAAAAAAA!!!! The video abruptly stops, and the live crowd is cheering wildly as Bryte sheepishly lowers his head in the ring. On stage, Tina's jaw drops with pretend shock... TINA (Gasp) Oopsie! BRYTE You...BITCH!!!!!! YOU NO GOOD BITCH! TINA Oh really, Chris! That's no way for a nice young man like you to talk! BRYTE You fucking...I DIDN'T...I DIDN'T... TINA What? You DIDN'T just get your ass beat by a girl? Because that's damn sure what it looked like to me! (giggles) BRYTE We've already been through this, Tina! I am the Brytest star in the OAOAST! I am a judo expert, damn it! THERE IS NO WAY THAT I COULD EVER LOSE TO A WOMAN! NO FUCKING WAY! TINA You know that, and I know that...but it seems as if Miss Jackie didn't get the memo! Hey tech crew, can we fire up that footage one more time? I'd like to get another look at that pin one more time! (crowd pops) BRYTE & TAYLOR NO! NO! DON'T... The footage rolls once again, and the crowd counts along as the referee's count hits 1...2...3! *DING DING DING* ANNOUNCER Here is your winner: JACKIIIIIIIEEEEEE GAAAAAYYYDAAAAAAA!!!! The video ends, and the crowd pops one more time. In the ring, Bryte tosses his trademark shades to the mat and stomps on them IN ANGER~! He rushes towards the ropes and points up at Tina, with fire in his eyes. BRYTE DON'T YOU DARE PLAY THAT FOOTAGE AGAIN, TINA! IF YOU DO, I'LL...I'll...I'll... TINA You'll what, Chris? Attack me? What? Hospitalize me? You've already done that, Chris, but I'm still standing! BRYTE You had better watch yourself, Tina! You'd better, because if not...Uncle Kev and I...I...you...y-y-y-you... TINA (mocking) "Y-Y-Y-YOU"...(scoffs) PUH-LEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAASE! (crowd pops) Lemme tell ya, Chris: anything you wanna try, go right ahead and bring it. After all you've put me through, I'd welcome it, just for the chance to kick your ass one more time! BRYTE Is that so, Tina? Is that so? Well how about I give you that chance here tonight on HeldDOWN! C'mon, Tina! Face me tonight, one-on-one, and I'll prove once and for all that there's not a woman on the planet that can compare to me! What do you say to that? TINA It'd be my pleasure. BRYTE Good! Tonight, you're mine, Tina! YOU ARE MINE! TINA (smiles) Whatever. Say what you wanna say, Bryte, but just think about one thing: if you couldn't handle little Jackie, how in the hell are you gonna be able to handle me? Tech crew, if you will... Suddenly, the footage of Jackie's pin comes up on screen one more time, and the fans count along once more as the ref's hand hits the mat for 1...2...3! *DING DING DING* ANNOUNCER Here is your winner: JACKIIIIIIIEEEEEE GAAAAAYYYDAAAAAAA!!!! The "You Gets no love" remix starts up over the PA system as Tina flashes an angelic smile and waves at Bryte before strutting back to the locker room. In the ring, Bryte throws a tantrum. He begins swinging wildly at the air and kicking the ropes, stopping only when Taylor grabs him to calm him down. COLE Well, fans, it looks as if we've got a match on our hands. Tina versus Chris Bryte! A rematch from their encounter from a couple of months ago! What a bout that should be! COACH Yeah. And I've got a feeling that this is gonna be a long night for the Bryte man! We've seen that Tina's an accomplished wrestler! She damn near beat Bryte the last time they fought on HeldDOWN! COLE Yes. Will Bryte be humilated once again tonight on HeldDOWN? (Go to break) When the break ends, we see Panther and Tina talking backstage. Panther has a worried look on his face as he speaks. PANTHER You sure you wanna go through with this, ma? I mean...remember your head. I don't want you getting hurt out there again... TINA Don't worry about me, Panther; I'm fine! If you wanna worry about somebody, worry about Bryte and the beating I'm gonna give him later on. PANTHER Yeah well, he'd better hope nothing happens to you out there, because restraining order or not, I swear-- ??? PANTHER! Both Panther and Tina turn sharply and spot "Cowboy" Bill Watts headed down the hallway, looking none too happy. He's got a newspaper in his right hand, and holds it up as he approaches the pair. WATTS Do you see this (pointing to the paper)? Front page news! "OAOAST Troubles Continue: Star Wrestler Jailed Again"! Damn it, Panther, that's twice in the past week! PANTHER (sighs) Look, Bill... WATTS No, you look! The media is all over us right now! Ever since the J-Dogg incident, they've been watching us like a hawk, looking for whatever dirt they can find on our company, and you're not helping matters by running out and getting arrested every week! Panther shoots an intense glare Watts' way, and the two engage in a brief staredown. Watts' look softens. WATTS Look, Panther, I personally endorsed you in your bid to come back to the OAOAST. It was a big risk with the whole Hand situation, but I took it, and I took it because you're a great hand! You're a strong worker, everyone in the back respects you, and the fans love you. But since coming back, you've done nothing but cause trouble! You've been arrested twice now, you keep on violating Chris Bryte's restraining order, and you're just bringing more bad publicity onto the fed... PANTHER So what do you want me to do? Just sit back and allow him to hurt me...to hurt my girl and do nothing about it? (deep breath) Watts, you know all that Bryte has put me through, and you know that this restraining order is bullshit! WATTS I know! I know! And the board of directors is working on your behalf to get this situation cleared up! We're on your side here, Panther! But in the meantime, you've gotta play ball! You've gotta follow the rules! Until we've got this thing settled, I don't want you going anywhere near Chris Bryte, no matter what he does or what he says! Do that for me, will ya? PANTHER Nah, screw that. After all he's done to us, I'll be damned if I'm gonna allow some piece of paper to keep me from giving him what he deserves. WATTS Ok, well let's look at it this way. You can either play by the rules and stay away from Bryte, or you can take your place in the unemployment line, because Panther I promise you that if you get arrested one more time, I'll see to it that both you and Tina are fired from the OAOAST! And if that happens, I'll personally see to it that you never get another shot a Chris Bryte as long as you live! Have I made myself clear? Panther doesn't answer. Instead, a scowl comes across his face. After a moment, Watts asks a second time? WATTS HAVE I MADE MYSELF CLEAR?! Tina rubs Panther's right shoulder to try and calm him down. Panther turns and looks into her eyes, as if asking for her approval. He stares at her for a few moment, with the look on his face softening with every passing second. Finally, he turns back to Watts. PANTHER Alright. I'll play by your little rules. I'll leave Bryte alone...for now. WATTS Good. Now, if you'll excuse me... Watts turns and walks off, leaving Panther and Tina alone. TINA Don't worry about it, babe. I'll make Bryte pay tonight. She rubs his back to try and calm him, but Panther just walks off with a blank look on his face. Tina eyes him with concern as he walks off in the distance, and we cut to...

The show'll be up around 10!

right. CABOOSE WILL NOT BE AVAILIBLE FOR COMMENTARY AFTER THE FIRST SEGMENT

I'll post the show around 7 EST this time, BUT if it would be easier for ya'll I can post it around 10 EST.

I was thinking Do It 'Till We Drop

Just name them after S Club 7 songs and be done with it.

I doubt the spacing makes sense. I'm in a big hurry. I have things to do.

Every skit/match involving The Saints or Chicks Over Dicks, I've written since the start of the groupie shit. So I wrote the skit with Alix. As for Candie's promos, I think I've written most of the ones where she's off on her own. With the exception of the characters I've controled, I've written more skits/matches with her then anyone else. That's odd. Synth's supposed to be very annoying. Nobody is supposed to like him. Although next to Logan's slightly vanilla and and pseudo intellectual personality, I can see why Synth would be more interesting.

If anyone wants to have a match with Logan, they can. As long as they're willing to write it.

Good show! I already told Hoff what I thought of his match over PM, so I won't repeat myself but it was great. Tony had a nice little video package and I'm glad he made one because I needed an example of how to do one! I was going to put Watts' skit before the show, but then I saw that Tony had edited in a video package and it totally threw me off. Was I supposed to write a GPX promo due to also writing their match? Parka's handled his angle well so far. He's done a nice job of keeping it interesting and fresh and making sure it never drags. I'd leave more feedback, but I have to pack.

32003-203-239-20930333944- GPX Vs The Saints

(Return from break) *ding.....ding.....ding* COLE Here we go! Michael Buffer steps into the center of the ring with a microphone in hand. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children ofall ages. It is now time for our HeldDOWN~! maaaain event for this evening! This contest is scheduled for one fall, with no time limit, and it is for the One and Only Anglesault Threaaad Twenty-Four Seven Championship!!! CUE: "Black" by Sevendust The fans begin to boo as Hoff's familiar theme music fills the air. BUFFER Introducing first, the challenger. A man who, as a member of the vile Thrillogy faction, captured and defended the Twenty-Four Seven Title with complete and total dominance. Last week, this Emperor of Death was dethroned by a man from his past, and tonight he seeks retribution and a return to glory. From Minneapolis, Minnesota, weighing in at two-hundred and seventy-five pounds, he is.....HOFF!!!! Hoff steps out onto the stage. The usual flash and flair are nonexistant tonight, replaced by a grim demeanor and a slight scowl. Pausing to survey the crowd, Hoff walks slowly down the ramp, sliding into the ring. Hoff walks by Buffer without a glance, and retreats to the far corner, forgoing his usual salute on the turnbuckles, and instead keeps his eyes locked on the entrance as his music dies out. CUE: "Bound For the Floor" by Local H The fans come to their feet and give Stevens' theme song a HUGE pop! BUFFER And his opponent for this evening. A native of Rochester, Minnesota, this man has traveled the globe perfecting his craft. And eight-year veteran, he seized the opportunity to win his first OAOAST title last week. Making his first title defense in an OAOAST ring, weighing in tonight at two hundred and sixteen pounds, he is the reigning and defending Ona and Only Anglesault Thread Twenty-Four Seven Champion....CHRIIIIISSSSS STEEEEVENSS!!!!!!! Buffer exits as Stevens enters the arena from behind the curtain, and the fans go ballistic. Stevens keeps his face a stone mask...until suddenly unstrapping the 24/7 Title from his waist and hoisting it high into the air, driving the fans ecstatic!! Stevens lets out a yell, then lets a big grin settle on his face as he walks down to the ring. Stevens slaps hands with fans all the way to the ring, going so far as to pose for photographs. Hoff simply stands in the ring, watching, as Stevens takes a walk around the perimeter of the ring, letting himself enjoy the newfound popularity and fame, before rolling into the ring and climbing the near turnbuckle, holding his belt up to another big pop! Stevens hops down, rolling his neck and handing the belt to the official. The referee shows the belt to Hoff, who nods, then hoists it up for everyone to see before handing it to the timekeeper. COLE That's what it's all about! The ref calls both men to the center of the ring. Stevens' smile fades as he and Hoff meet in the middle of the squared circle, eyes locked onto one another. Sparks of electricity are almost visible as the referee's explanation of the rules falls on deaf ears. The official asks Stevens if he understands, and the champion nods without taking his gaze off of Hoff. The official asks Hoff the same question, and the Thrillogy member just shoves him away. COACH Whoa! The referee shakes it off, then shoots Hoff a perturbed look before shrugging and motioning for the timekeeper to ring the bell. COLE We are now officially underway! Chris Stevens and Hoff remain unmoving, standing almost nose to nose in the center of the ring, eyes still locked on each other. A scowl is visible on either man's face, and Hoff begins talking. Stevens says nothing as Hoff jaws away. A fever pitch builds in the audience as Hoff steps ever so slightly closer to Stevens, who still remains silent. COLE Oh my lord, you could cut this tension with a knife! Hoff continues jawing at Stevens, before shoving the champion back a step. The fans suck in their breath as Stevens stumbles backwards. Hoff smirks...but Stevens comes charging forward and floors Hoff with a spear!! The fans go INSANE!! Stevens falls on top of Hoff and begins throwing WILD punches!!! COLE My God! We knew this situation would explode! Hoff powers out, throwing Stevens to his left and getting to his knees. Stevens beats Hoff to his feet, though, and grabs him by the head, slamming him face-first into the turnbuckle! Hoff reels, and Stevens throws him into the buckle, catching him across the jaw with a European uppercut! Hoff's head snaps back, and Stevens fires off another shot! Stevens grabs Hoff by the arm and whips him across the ring, and the force brings Stevens to his knees as Hoff hits the opposite buckle face-first! Hoff stumbles back as Stevens finds his feet, and Stevens spins Hoff around, hitting him with another European uppercut that takes the big man down! COACH Stevens is on fire! Stevens straddles Hoff, kneeling down across Hoff's chest and unloading with a series of right hands. Hoff tries to cover his face, but Stevens rips one hand away and rakes Hoff in the eye! Hoff clutches at his eyes in pain, as Stevens begins slamming hard rights into Hoff's chest!! Hoff tries to turn over under Stevens, but Stevens grabs him by the hair, pulling him back and slamming him in the face with a HUGE right hand! COLE Stevens, unlike a lot of guys, is showing no fear of Hoff! CABOOSE Hoff intimidates a lot of guys, but I guess Stevens has been in there with him before! Stevens gets to his feet and begins stomping at Hoff, SCREAMING for the big man to get up! Hoff slowly crawls away and gets to his feet, and Stevens immediately whips him off the ropes. Hoff comes off the other side and Stevens leapfrogs him, then catches him off the far side with a blind back elbow! Hoff staggers back, holding his jaw, and Stevens moves in...but Hoff quickly charges with a clothesline, but Stevens ducks the move! Hoff spins around, and Stevens quickly catches Hoff in a drop toe hold that sends Hoff neckfirst onto the second rope! Stevens begins choking Hoff on the rope as the fans cheer him on! COLE Hoff has made so many enemies as a part of the Thrillogy! The fans are loving this! CABOOSE I'm not! Come on, Hoff! Stevens lets go of the choke, then walks across the ring, jogging into the ropes! Stevens bounces off the ropes, picking up speed until he leaps on Hoff, dropping his weight across the back of Hoff's head!! Hoff's eyes bug out as Stevens' backside bounces across him. Stevens gets up, and Hoff quickly rolls off of the ropes, grasping at his throat. COLE A tried and true maneuver from Stevens there! Stevens pumps up the crowd quickly, pumping his fist as Hoff lies on the canvas, before going back to work. Stevens picks Hoff up off the mat by his hair, whipping him again into a turnbuckle. Hoff again staggers out, and Stevens catches him with a deep armdrag takedown! Hoff skids across the ring as Stevens quickly finds his feet. Hoff gets up, looking angry, and charges Stevens...walking right into another armdrag! Stevens quickly gets up and smirks at Hoff, who complains to the referee of a hair pull. The referee just shrugs. COLE I wouldn't be surprised if Stevens did use a cheap trick or two! These two do not like each other! Hoff gets up, nostrils flared. He stalks toward Stevens, looking for a lockup. Stevens beckons Hoff on as he steps back, then quickly darts in under Hoff's arms and grabs his right wrist, twisting it back into a hammerlock! Hoff tries to pull free of the move, then throws a back elbow with his free left arm, but Stevens ducks! Stevens lets go of the hammerlock, and Hoff's momentum causes him to spin around, facing Stevens, who takes him down with a snampare! Hoff hits the mat, and Stevens stays on him, applying a rear chinlock! COACH Stevens seems to be a step ahead of Hoff so far! Hoff quickly fights to his feet, throwing an elbow to the ribs of Stevens. Stevens lets go of the chinlock, and Hoff grabs Stevens' right arm with his left, looking for the short-arm clothesline...but again, Stevens ducks! This time, though, Stevens grabs Hoff's right arm with his free left, then yanks his right arm free, hopping up and throwing both legs and arms onto Hoff's right arm, taking the big man down into a cross arm breaker as the fans applaud!! COLE Wow, what a counter there! CABOOSE Even I have to admit, that's an impressive move. Hoff slams his fist onto the mat as Stevens wrenches back on Hoff's arm, applying pressure to the wrist, elbow, and shoulder joints. Hoff grits his teeth and grimaces in pain. The referee checks on Hoff to see if he wants to give up, but the big man shakes his head. Stevens wrenches back again on the right arm, as a "Stevens" chant goes up in the stands. Hoff rolls left, then right, but can't get his arm free. COLE Hoff could be in trouble here! Hoff reaches his free, left arm over, clawing at Stevens' boots, but Stevens just rears back again and Hoff cries out in pain. Suddenly, Hoff rolls backwards, pulling a reverse somersault and twisting his arm free! Before Stevens can react, Hoff is on his feet! Stevens gets up and faces Hoff just in time to be DRILLED with a big right hand! And Hoff YOWLS in pain!! CABOOSE Oh NO! COLE The damage has been done! The fans laugh as Hoff shakes out his right arm, holding his wrist. Hoff looks away just long enough for Stevens to move in and blast him with another European uppercut that sends Hoff to the corner. Hoff crumples in the buckle, and Stevens climbs up to the second rope! Stevens raises his fist, then brings it down as the fans count along! "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FIVE!" "SIX!" "SEVEN!" "EIGHT!" "NINE!" Stevens pauses and points out to the crowd, smiling wide! "TEN!" Stevens lays the final blow onto the top of Hoff's head, then hops down and to the side. Stevens grabs Hoff's arm and whips him cross-corner, but Hoff reverses the whip and Stevens crashes into the far buckle! Hoff charges in shoulder-first, but Stevens quickly hops up to the second rope! Stevens dives forward as Hoff charges in, flowing over him with a sunset flip! The referee makes the count! ONE!! TWO!! KICKOUT!! Hoff kicks his feet, catching Stevens in the side of the head and causing him to release the hold. Hoff rolls backwards out of the pinning predicament and gets to his feet, catching a rising Stevens with a beautiful standing dropkick that sends Stevens into the buckle! COLE Nice dropkick from the big man! CABOOSE Yeah, well, when your arm is hurting, use your feet! Sound strategy. Stevens gets up out of the corner, but Hoff sees him out of the corner of his eye, and charges at Stevens from his knees, driving the 24/7 champion back into the corner! Stevens hits hard and buckles slightly as Hoff stands back up, delivering a big left hook to Stevens! COACH Hoff still favoring his right arm! Hoff throws another hook, but Stevens shakes it off and fires a punch of his own! Hoff reels, and Stevens lands another right hand, and another, and another! Hoff is reeling, and Stevens quickly moves to his side and drives Hoff down with a side Russian legsweep! COLE Stevens quickly shifts the momentum back in his favor! CABOOSE I don't think those lefts have as much power behind them as Hoff's rights do! COLE Well, convention suggests you work on your opponent's weaker arm, but Stevens' reverse strategy seems to be very effective! Stevens sits up quickly after the Russian legsweep, grabbing Hoff's right arm by the wrist and using it to turn Hoff over onto his stomach! Stevens quickly tucks the arm under his own and applies a Fujiwara armbar! Hoff again cries out as Stevens wrenches back! The referee again checks on Hoff, but Hoff waves him away! Hoff grabs at Stevens' hair with his free hand, but Stevens rears back again, and Hoff lets go, slapping the mat in pain!! The ref checks for a tapout, but Hoff balls his fist, gritting his teeth. COLE Hoff may have been close to tapping there! CABOOSE Please, no way. Hoff, slowly, brings himself to one knee, and Chris Stevens releases the armbar. Hoff gets to his full height, but Stevens quickly snakes around him and catches him in a drop toe hold before Hoff knows what's going on. Hoff hits the mat face-first, and Stevens pounces on his right arm, grabbing it with both hands and extending it before driving a knee into the elbow. Hoff yells in pain as Stevens repeats the maneuver, driving the knee down. Suddenly, Hoff yanks his arm free, rolling away all the way under the ropes and to the outside. CABOOSE Good, this is smart by Hoff. COLE Smart? Stevens has been dominant all match, and so Hoff takes the coward's way out! CABOOSE Yeah, smart. Hoff walks around a bit, catching his breath and shaking out his sore right arm. Hoff holds his right elbow, gingerly flexing it a couple of times, and wiggling his fingers. A fan shouts something obscene to Hoff, and the big man yells back, before turning around...and getting hit with a HUGE suicide dive by Chris Stevens!! The fans pop as Stevens sails between the first and second ropes, flooring Hoff with a suicide dive clothesline that sends both men down!! COACH Whoa! A "holy shit" chant breaks out at ringside as Stevens again begins pummeling Hoff! Stevens gets to his feet and pulls the big man up, grabbing him again by the right arm and driving the arm into the guardrail! The fans cheer as Hoff cries out, walking away and holding his arm in pain! COLE Stevens is staying on Hoff here! He's not letting him get collected! Stevens follows Hoff, spinning him around and grabbing his arm again! Stevens whips Hoff into the steel steps, and Hoff hits them shoulder-first with a sickening crash! The steps go flying as Hoff sprawls into the guardrail! COACH Wow, what impact! Hoff grimaces and holds his shoulder as he lies on the mat by the guardrail. Stevens grabs him and picks him up, leading him by the head around the ring. Stevens stops once to drive Hoff's skull into the ringpost, to the delight of the fans! Hoff grabs his face and forehead as he reels back, but Stevens grabs him again and leads him to the French announce table! COLE Not again! CABOOSE Poor French bastards... Stevens rears back and slams Hoff's head into the table. Hoff bounces back, but Stevens grabs him by the tights and rolls him up onto the table, then climbs up after him!! Stevens raises one arm and plays to the cheering crowd! COACH Stevens has got to be careful, though. This is not his element. I know, I've seen the tapes! Stevens reaches down and lifts Hoff up, so that the two men are standing on the table. The French announcers quickly get out of the way as Stevens hooks his arm around Hoff's neck! The fans pop! COLE Stevens is looking for the Rock Bottom! Some revenge for last week! Stevens grabs Hoff's back to lift him, but Hoff quickly throws a back elbow -- his LEFT elbow -- into Stevens' head! Stevens reels, and Hoff quickly breaks free...and reverses the hold!! COLE Oh no!! Rock Bottom from-- WAIT! Hoff lifts Stevens up, but Stevens quickly throws a back elbow of his own as Hoff lifts him! Hoff drops Stevens back onto his feet, and Stevens quickly capitalizes with a DDT THROUGH THE TABLE!!! COACH Oh my God!! ANOTHER "holy shit" chant starts up as Stevens gets to his feet relatively quickly, picking up a totally dazed Hoff and throwing him back into the ring. Stevens follows him in, and goes for the cover! ONE! TWO! THREENO!! Hoff gets a foot on the ropes! COLE Stevens hooked the near leg, but Hoff was still able to get the far one onto the bottom rope! The ref explains to Stevens, who brushes him aside and gets to his feet. Stevens whips Hoff into the ropes, then runs off the other side himself, meeting Hoff in the center of the ring with a running kneelift! Stevens makes a cover, but again can only get two! COLE Well, youi've got to hand it to Hoff...he's taken a lot but he won't stay down! CABOOSE Exactly. The mark of a TRUE champion. Stevens starts to pull Hoff up again, but Hoff meets him with a shot to the gut. From his knees, Hoff catches Stevens with a left hand to the ribs, which doubles Stevens over. Hoff gets to his feet, and quickly grabs Stevens by the neck, bringing him down with a snap swinging neckbreaker! COLE Whoa, nice neckbreaker from Hoff! COACH Yeah, but he's still down! Both men lie on the canvas after the neckbreaker, and the referee begins a ten count. COLE The early goings have definitely taken their toll on the challenger! The referee reaches three, and Hoff begins to stir. At four, Hoff is on one knee, and Stevens has rolled onto his stomach. Stevens begins to push himself up at 5, and Hoff reaches his feeet before the count of six. Hoff stalks over to Stevens, grabbing his waist and throwing him over in a gutwrench suplex! Stevens lands hard, but Hoff again shakes his right arm after the move! COACH Nice suplex by Hoff, but you have to wonder how long he'll be able to keep it up! COLE A lot of Hoff's power comes from those big arms! we'll have to see what he can do! Hoff gets to his feet, still favoring his right arm. Stevens crawls up to his knees, and Hoff pulls him up the rest of the way, catching the still-doubled over 24/7 champ with another gutwrench suplex! Hoff floats over into a cover, but Stevens kicks out at two! Hoff gets back to his feet, and pulls Stevens back to his! Hoff leaves Stevens standing woozily in the middle of the ring, then runs off of the ropes, coming off with a big clothesline! CABOOSE With his LEFT arm! Atta boy! Stevens falls to the mat, and Hoff looks down with a sick smirk as the fans jeer. Stevens gets back to his feet shakily, stubling around as Hoff runs off the ropes again. Stevens gets his bearings just in time to be leeveled by another clothesline! CABOOSE Left arm, left arm! Hoff is making lemonade out of lemons! Come on, big man! Hoff looks out to the crowd, flexing and patting his left bicep as he grins. Stevens gets to his feet slowly and Hoff waits, waits, waits....then charges off with another clothesline... CABOOSE Hoff, NO! Wrong arm! Abort! Abort!! Stevens turns and sees it coming...and GRABS the bad arm, taking Hoff down into a Fujiwara armbar!!! Hoff SHRIEKS in pain as Stevens torques the arm!! The fans go BANANARAMA!!!!!!!!!! COLE Hoff went to the well once too often, and paid for it dearly!! Hoff kicks and screams as Stevens leans back on the arm, hurling curses and obscenities back at Hoff! Hoff reaches out to the ropes, but they're well out of reach!! The referee checks on Hoff, and Hoff SCREAMS!!! COACH This could be it! Hoff holds out one hand, but doesn't tap! Hoff reaches out and drags himself slightly closer to the ropes!! Stevens raises his hips and leans back into the armbar, but Hoff inches another step closer to the ropes! Hoff reaches again, and almost brushes the bottom rope!! CABOOSE Oh he's almost there! Come on Hoff!! Hoff pulls himself closer again, and reaches...but Stevens lets go of the armbar!! In a fury, Stevens begins stomping away at Hoff's outstretched arm!! Stevens lays boots into the elbow, the shoulder, anywhere he can find! Finally, Hoff once again rolls to the outside, and Stevens kicks the ropes after him! COLE Stevens looks possessed! I think he wanted Hoff to tap! Hoff walks around the ring, holding his arm tightly, trying to dull the pain! Stevens slides out of the ring and chases after Hoff, clubbing him from behind with a forearm!! Hoff stumbles forward, and Stevens grabs him and throws him back into the ring! Stevens slides in after him, getting quickly to his feet and pulling Hoff up. Hoff cringes as Stevens grabs his right arm -- but suddenly, Stevens gets yanked forward, and Hoff BLASTS him with a short-arm clothesline!! Hoff falls as Stevens hits the mat, clutching at his right arm!! COACH Wow, what a desparation move by Hoff, but it took a lot out of him! COLE Yeah, but it floored the champion! Hoff gets back to his feet, slowly, as does the champion, but Hoff is back up first. Hoff positions his body so that his left arm faces Stevens, and Stevens stumbles forward, allowing Hoff to bend down and scoop him up into a fireman's carry position with one arm. COACH Whoa! What power! Hoff, still holding Stevens with one arm, bends backward and falls down into a Samoan Drop! The fans actually pop a bit as Hoff simply lays back into a cover! ONE! TWO! THRNO~! Stevens kicks out! Hoff sits up, then uses his good left arm to get back to his feet. Stevens climbs to his feet using the ropes, but Hoff catches him and uses his good arm to whip Stevens off the ropes. Stevens comes back, and Hoff bends down, catching him in a back body drop! Stevens sails across the ring, and slides out under the bottom rope! COLE Now Stevens is trying to get it together! Chris Stevens shakes his head, trying to clear his mind. Hoff heads over to the ropes, grabs the top rope, and vaults himself over into a flying body press -- but Stevens looks up, sidesteps him, and grabs his head on the way down, driving Hoff HARD to the floor! CABOOSE OH, NO! COLE Hoff went for it all there, and missed!! Stevens looks down as Hoff lies on the floor, and lays in a couple boots to the back of Hoff's head! Stevens picks Hoff up, rolls him back into the ring, and follows him in! COACH This could be the beginning of the end! Stevens gets to his feet and pulls Hoff up, scooping him up and bodyslamming him near the corner! Stevens heads over to the ropes! COLE Could be the Frog Splash! Stevens, though, heads to the second rope, measures, and dives off, driving a Bret Hart-style forearm to Hoff's skull! Hoff shakes from the impact, and Stevens hooks the leg and makes a cover! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! COACH Close call! CABOOSE You're telling me! Hoff is in trouble! Oh, why couldn't the Thrillogy be out here? COLE Because, Caboose! Hoff wanted to see if he could beat Stevens one on one, but so far he hasn't looked too good! COACH He's certainly been resillient, and resourceful, but the match has pretty much been all Stevens! Stevens pulls Hoff up, drags him to the middle of the ring, and whips him off the ropes! Hoff comes off, and Stevens throws a big superkick -- but Hoff catches his foot! Hoff spins Stevens around, and catches him with a falling clothesline! The fans boo as Hoff makes a quick cover, but only gets two! CABOOSE Nice counter, and Hoff AGAIN using that left of his for all it's worth! Hoff gets to his feet slowly, then pulls Stevens up, and hooks his right arm over Stevens' head! Hoff hooks his own head up, then uses his left arm to hoist Stevens up to the lights...hold him there...and drop him with a vertical suplex! Hoff gets up, slowly, but again beats Stevens to his feet! He pulls Stevens up again, and hooks him, and again takes him down with a vertical suplex! Hoff gets up, and pulls Stevens up again!! COACH Hoff getting some momentum back! He may be in this thing yet! Hoff hooks Stevens again, but Stevens catches him with a shot to the gut! Hoff doubles over, and Stevens quickly wraps his arms around Hoff's waist and hits him with a bridging Northern Lights Suplex! The cover! ONE!! TWO!! NO!! Hoff barely gets a shoulder off the canvas!! Stevens can't believe it and slaps the mat as he gets to his feet. Hoff gets up to one knee, and Stevens walks over to him -- but Hoff pops up, grabs Stevens, and PLANTS him with a HUGE front spinebuster~!! COACH OOEY GOOEY!! COLE Hoff catches Stevens with that spinebuster from out of NOWHERE!! The move actually draws a pretty big pop from the crowd as Hoff, favoring his right arm, crawls over to Stevens and hooks the leg! ONE!! TWO!! THREENO!!! Kickout! The fans are ecstatic!! COACH Wow, that was close!! COLE Now it might be anyone's game!! Hoff and Stevens both crawl around the mat, groggy. Hoff finds his knees before Stevens, then gets to his feet as the champion begins climbing to his with the aid of the ropes. Hoff sneaks up behind Stevens, and grabs his head from behind!! CABOOSE YES!! This is it!! It's all over!!! The fans in Vancouver come to their feet as Hoff hooks Stevens' head under his right arm! Hoff reaches down with his left, lifting Stevens up for the Future Shock!! Hoff gets Stevens up, but Stevens begins to kick his legs!! Hoff stutters, tries to keep his balance, but Stevens slips out behind Hoff!! Before Hoff can react, Stevens grabs him and drops him with a pendulum backbreacker!! CABOOSE NO!! That's not how it was supposed to happen!! The fans go crazy as Stevens looks down at Hoff...then over to the corner! Stevens climbs out of the ropes onto the apron, then heads up the turnbuckles!! COACH Froggy Splash coming up!! Stevens raises one finger into the air, screaming, and the fans come alive as Stevens jumps off the top with his Frog Splash!! AND IT MISSES!!! Hoff rolls out of the way in the nick of time!! Caboose breathes an audible sigh of relief. CABOOSE Oh, sweet Mary and Joseph, thank you. Stevens clutches at his ribs as Hoff rolls to one knee and...looks to the back. COLE What? Hey, what is Hoff doing? Hoff looks to the back, motioning for somebody to come out...and out walk Zack Malibu and Calvin Szechstien to the loudest chorus of boos this side of British Columbia. CABOOSE YES!!!!!!!! COLE Aw come on! I thought Hoff said he didn't need them! COACH He said he wanted to beat Chris Stevens on his own! COLE Well, obviously, he couldn't get that done! CABOOSE Now come on, Cole! They're just here to celebrate when Hoff wins! COLE Right. Hoff gets to his feet, walking over to Stevens as Zack and Cal take their place at ringside. Hoff grabs Stevens by the hair, then whips him off the ropes, setting up for the SPINEBUSTER~...but Stevens slides under Hoff's legs! Stevens hops to his feet as Hoff turns around...and Stevens catches him with a superkick!! Hoff falls to the canvas like a ton of bricks! COACH What a kick! Hoff is OUT! COLE And Stevens is feeling it! He's gonna head up top again! Stevens does head to the outside again, and climbs up to the top rope as Hoff lies unmoving in the ring. Suddenly, Calvin Szechstein hops onto the ropes, shouting at the official! COLE Aw, come on! Chris Stevens looks on as the ref argues with Calvin as Zack Malibu sneaks to the other side without being seen! Zack quickly hops up onto the apron, shaking the ropes and causing Stevens to crotch himself on the top buckle! COACH Ouch! Hard landing! COLE Come on, someone get them out of here!! Zack shouts for Hoff to get up as Calvin hops back down to the floor. Hoff slowly begins to stir, shaking the cobwebs out of his head as he gets to his knees. Stevens is still dazed as Hoff finds his feet, and heads to the corner. Hoff climbs up to the first rope...but Stevens punches him in the face! Stevens blasts Hoff again, and the big man stumbles back onto the floor! Stevens grabs Hoff by the head, and quickly jumps off the second rope, scoring with a Tornado DDT!!! CABOOSE NO!! ACK!! HOW!! COLE He's the champion!! And he is gonna beat Hoff!! Stevens makes the cover...but there's no ref!! Stevens gets up and looks behind him, where Calvin Szechstein has AGAIN distracted the official!! Stevens walks to the scene and grabs Calvin, hurling him over the top rope and into the ring!! Stevens starts hammering on Szechstein as the fans cheer, but the referee breaks it up!! The official ushers Calvin out of the ring...and no one sees Malibu slide in the other side!! COACH Chris, look out!! Stevens jaws with Calvin as the ref escorts him out, then turns around RIGHT INTO SCHOOL'S OUT!!! COLE NO!! DAMMIT, DAMMIT, NO!! The fans are IRATE as Zack slides out of the ring. The referee turns back to the action, as Hoff slowly turns over and drapes one arm over Stevens' chest!! COLE NOT LIKE THIS!!!! ONE!!! TWO!!! THREE!!!!! *ding ding ding* COLE DAMN IT ALL!! DAMN HOFF, DAMN THE THRILLOGY, DAMMIT!! CABOOSE YES!! HE DID IT!! I knew he would!!! I knew it all along!!! The fans begin pelting the ring with garbage as Buffer reads the decision from ringside. BUFFER The winner of this contest, and NEW Twenty-Four-Seven Champion......HOFF!!!! Zack and Calvin slide into the ring and pull Hoff to his feet, and the referee hands him his 24/7 Title. Hoff looks at it, then pulls it close to his body, literally hugging the title. Zack straps it around his waist, and Calvin polishes it, as Hoff can barely stand. Calvin clasps Hoff on the right arm, and Hoff cringes. COLE This isn't right. This isn't right at all. Hoff can barely stand, and yet... CABOOSE And yet he's the champion! He did it, Cole, he beat Stevens and won the title! COLE But he couldn't do it on his own! He needed the help of TWO MEN to take Stevens down!! Hoff climbs up to the second rope, raising his left arm into the air as the fans jeer. Hoff hops off of the ropes, and the Thrillogy celebrate...until they notice Stevens getting to his feet. COACH Aw, now come on guys, the match is over! Hoff looks at Chris Stevens, with mixed emotion showing plainly on his face. Hoff unstraps his 24/7 title, looks down at it...and SMASHES IT INTO STEVENS' FACE!! COACH DAYUM!! COLE I thought, for a second, that maybe Hoff would offer Stevens his hand. But he hasn't changed! Not one damn bit! CABOOSE I know, it's great!! Hoff knels down and shoves the 24/7 belt in front of Stevens' face, screaming obscenities. The fans boo...until a cheer runs through the crowd near the ramp!!! COLE Look! It's GUNNER!! GUNNER SHARPS!!! CABOOSE What, no! NO!! Gunner barrels down to ringside as the fans scream! Zack and Calvin quickly slide out of the ring on either side as Gunner slides in -- but Hoff remains in the ring!! CABOOSE Oh JESUS!! Hoff, GET OUT!!! Hoff doesn't hear a thing as he taunts Stevens! Finally, Hoff looks around, noticing Calvin and Zack shouting on either side!! Hoff gets to his knees, with his eyes wide...then his feet! Hoff looks to either side, unsure of what to do, as Gunner is poised behind him!! CABOOSE Oh, God, he's gonna turn around!! He always just turns around! Hoff, RUN!! GET OUT OF THE RING!! Don't-- But Hoff turns around! Hoff, knowing what's coming, charges at GUnner with a clothesline! But Gunner DUCKS!! Hoff turns around, and COLE AND COACH SHARP END!!! Gunner SPEARS Hoff out of his boots with the Sharp End!! Hoff doubles over and falls to the mat, thrashing in pain before quickly rolling out of the ring!! The fans are BALLISTIC as Gunner shouts down at Hoff!! As the Thrillogy head up the ramp, Gunner turns around and checks on Chris Stevens, who is finally back to his knees. His forehead is bleeding from the belt shot, but Chris shakes him off, and Gunner turns his attention back to Hoff. The referee runs to Hoff, handing him his 24/7 Title, which Hoff raises into the air. Gunner stands at the ropes, staring Hoff and the Thrillogy down, and Chris Stevens, his forehead busted open, joins him, shooting a vicious, bloody gaze at Hoff... *FADE TO BLACK*

OAOAST HeldDOWN~! “I Like” plays and we see the opening video. Then we’re taken to the LOGO BOOM! BAAAAM! KAPOW! That’s the sound of the pyro exploding across the arena. Once that little display clears up, we’re taken to Triple C! COLE What’s up world! Welcome to another exciting edition of HeldDOWN, live from Vancouver, British Columbia! I’m Michael Cole, joined by Caboose and da Coach~! COACH That show is gonna be kickin! We’re coming atcha from my homegirl’s home town and I know she gots something to say! Plus the newly crowned tag team champs are gonna defend their title against the Saints, and 24/7 champion Chris Stevens makes his first title defense against the ex champ, Hoff! CABOOSE Before we go to our first match, I want to commend the Board of Directors on a job well done in banning Sly Sommers from the building tonight after his malicious attack on Calvin Szechstein last week on this program. COLE The S.O.B. nearly cost him his vocal abilities permanently and has been the source of his life being a living hell for months now! What did you expect? COACH On this note, we can announce that the Barbed Wire Pergatory, with the ring ropes replaced by barbed wire, almost everything at ringside wrapped in barbed wire, etcetra and such, has been given the green light, as Sly and Calvin will fight in this first-ever match at Angleslam on August 29th. COLE Also, since the ban on Sly might not have been the fairest, the Board of Directors is "making it up" in a way, as they've booked for next week: Zack Malibu and Calvin Szechstein versus Crystal and Sly Sommers! But, it has an added twist...the losing team must fight each other on this show on the HeldDOWN~! before Angleslam, just two weeks from now! CABOOSE Though I know my boys will win this one, I think it's a bit unfair just in case they gets screwed over, that they would have to fight each other on the week of two of the biggest matches of the summer, eh? COACH Shut up, you whiny baby. COLE Anyway...up next on HeldDOWN~! is the debut of the second-newest OAOAST tag team, as SB87...I mean Sean Bryant, split off from the Rave and Assault Squad in a rather dubious way last week, after all three lost to X Champion Rick Edwards in the first-ever Daredevil's Delight match at License To Pin. COACH To add to that, he then debuted his new partner, one of the brightest young athletes to come out of the Great White North in a long time, "The Grappler" Alex Bryant, who is also Sean's cousin. Tonight, these two will debut as a team. Let's go to the ring to see what they got! "Bully" starts up, and Sean Bryant bolts out of the entrance, telling off the fans as he bounces around. Alex Bryant follows, stone-faced and tightening his wrist tape. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall, with a fifteen-minute time limit. Introducing first, from Windsor, Ontario...weighing in at a combined weight of 356 pounds...they are "The Assault" Sean Bryant and "The Grappler" Alex Bryant...The Bryant Cousins! COLE These two are the definition of "opposite": Sean is one of the flashiest wrestlers I've ever seen, with a load of cockiness to boot, and his cousin Alex is a cold, emotionless technical wizard! BUFFER Their opponents...already in the ring, at a combined weight of 430 pounds...the team of Tom Goran and Mike Hunt! *DING**DING* COLE The word going around the locker room is that not only are the Bryants angry at the Rave and Assault Squad duo of Mikey and Nate Tethers, but they're also upset with Frank and Frankie Frankensteiner for "trying to upstage their debut", according to Sean earlier today. Alex Bryant starts off with Tom Goran. They circle the ring before going into a collar-and-elbow tie-up. They struggle in mid-ring for a few seconds before Bryant places his leg behind Tom's and sends him down with a front takedown. Bryant immediately repositions himself and locks in a side headlock on the mat. Goran can't get his head out, so he lifts his legs and brings Alex over with a side headscissors. But, Bryant knew it was coming and is able to roll backwards and onto his feet for the escape, keeping ahold of one of Goran's legs and locking in a half-crab. Goran is able to reach out and grab the bottom rope a few seconds after. COACH You can tell that Alex Bryant studies his tapes, based on how fast he was able to use that unique counter to the side headscissors. Alex lets go soon after the referee orders him to break the hold. He allows Goran time to get to his feet without any interference. Both men circle around the middle of the ring again, before slowly going into a Greco-Roman knucklelock. Alex then wrenches Goran's fingers upwards as he lowers the hands. Bryant teases a headbutt, which lowers Goran's guard enough for Alex to let go of his hands and nail a double-leg takedown. COLE You don't see that every day. Bryant immediately drops down and locks in a legbar. Goran tries to spin out of it, but Alex holds on throughout the entire rotation. So, Goran scoots back a little and grabs the bottom rope once again. Bryant again lets Goran have a clean break as he comes off of the mat. CABOOSE You know, this is some nice sportsmanship... COLE I would usually agree with a comment like that, but it's almost obvious that Alex Bryant is getting into Tom Goran's head and telling him that he can end the match at any time. Goran shakes off his leg for a second before charging at Bryant with a punch. But, Alex ducks the punch and scores with a rear waistlock. Alex cranks in for a second before sliding under Goran's arm and pivot-stepping his way into locking in a cravate. Bryant cranks down on it as Goran screams in pain. He then switches arms and brings Goran down with a snapmare. Alex locks in a Dragon Sleeper while standing. COACH We all know that Tom Goran isn't exactly the most feared competitor, but this showing off bit has to stop. Alex cranks in for a second before turning Goran around into a kneeling front facelock. Alex pulls him up using the front facelock and transitions into a reverse hammerlock. He uses that to bring Goran over with an inverted crucifix pin... 1.. 2.. Kickout. Bryant quickly rises to his feet as Goran rolls to a kneeling position, and brings Tom over with an Oklahoma Roll... 1... 2... Kickout. Both competitors come back to their feet, and Goran kicks Bryant in the stomach. Goran goes for a neckbreaker, but Alex slips his head out and rolls himself forward as he grabs onto Goran, and brings him down with a sunset flip... 1.. 2... Kickout. Both men come to their feet and Goran charges at Alex. But, Bryant drops Goran face-first on the bottom turnbuckle with a drop toe hold. Alex then grabs both of Goran's arms and pulls up on them a bit. He then kicks Goran in the back of the head and sends him face-first into the bottom turnbuckle again. Alex pulls Goran to his feet, and literally rolls him to the Bryant corner. Alex tags in Sean. CABOOSE It's about to get a whole lot flippier in this mother'! Alex pulls Goran up and sends him stomach-first into the corner. Sean charges at Goran, leaps, and brings him over and down with a reverse monkey flip. Goran flips sideways onto his back upon impact, as Alex goes to the corner and Sean comes off of the ropes. Sean nails a running swanton, and rolls onto his feet immediately to jump onto the second rope and nail a Lionsault senton variation! COLE You weren't lying there, were you Caboose? Goran stumbles to his feet after Sean finishes grabbing his nuts to somehow disrespect Goran and his partner, Mike Hunt. Sean charges at Goran, hops on him in wheelbarrow fashion, and brings himself over with an inverted Asai DDT. Sean climbs to the second rope in a neutral corner, and nails an incredible corkscrew moonsault (Skytwister Press). Sean goes for the cover... 1... 2... Kickout. Sean pulls Goran up and forearms him in the upper back region to bend him over. Sean then leaps onto Goran's back, and rolls back into an inverted hurricanrana. Sean makes sure that Goran stays down, and then nails a standing tumbleweed (moonsault flip twisted into legdrop). Bryant gets up and starts taunting the crowd. That gives time for Goran to stumble to his feet. Sean turns around and charges at Goran, and Goran gets under him to backdrop him over the top rope. But, Sean lands on his feet on the apron, and springboards onto the top rope to nail an incredible moonsault version of the flying headscissors! COACH That's one for the record books! Sean pulls Goran up after that, and sends him off to the ropes. Sean comes off of the ropes to Goran's left, and they meet in mid-ring for Sean to nail an incredible satellite headscissors (Sean rotates around Goran's entire body before bringing him down). Goran goes to one knee in a stunned state, and Sean runs at him to nail a shining wizard. Goran ducks the knee on instinct, but Bryant comes back around with an inverted enziguri to the back of the head to knock him down. COLE I just want to see this guy hit anything normally, just ANYTHING! Sean grabs Goran's arm, twists around it, and brings him over for a La Magistral cradle... 1... 2... Kickout. Sean keeps ahold of Goran by the ankle as he tags his cousin Alex back in. Alex and Sean pull Goran back up, and Alex sends him off to the ropes. Sean nails a jumping heel kick, and is able to backflip and land on his feet. Alex then crosses Goran's legs around his and turns him over into a Sharpshooter. Sean then nails a standing flipping legdrop to finish the sequence. COACH You can tell they're family, as most first-time teams couldn't nail that series of moves period, let alone that seemlessly. Alex lets go and readjusts his wrist tape, as Sean goes back to the corner. Alex pulls Goran up and whips him off to the ropes. Alex brings Goran over with a big overhead suplex, which he then rolls over into a front choke submission. Alex yells something at Mike Hunt that infuriates him. Alex stays concentrated and near-emotionless, as his cousin cackles in the corner. Alex comes to his feet as he switches his grip from around the neck to a butterfly hook, and brings Goran over with a cradle butterfly suplex! CABOOSE Don't tell Tom Goran that butterflies are harmless! Alex sits Goran up and crosses his arms around his throat. He turns Goran over and sits down with a straitjacket camel clutch. Bryant headbutts the back of Goran's head a couple of times before coming to his feet and pulling Goran up, all while keeping him in straitjacket position. Alex then shows off his deceptive strength by nailing a brutal overhead straitjacket suplex! COLE I wish the Bryants would stop showing off with some of this stuff that's making no sense within any strategy, and just go for the kill. Alex pulls Goran up slowly by the hair, and then brings him over with a snap butterfly suplex. Bryant rolls through and applies a painful butterfly lock out of that position. Goran screams as Alex applies the hold in deeper. Tom starts wiggling his fingers in the air, and waving his hand to get the crowd behind him. The crowd claps in rhythm as he slowly rises to his feet. Alex tries to apply the hold tighter, but ends up trying to go too tight, as he slips and Goran escapes. Goran runs and comes off of the ropes. But, he runs into one hell of a stiff Yakuza kick! COACH Tom Goran's head just landed in the fourth row! CABOOSE It'll sell for $23 on eBay. Alex pulls up a dazed Goran once again, hooks his arms, and nails a sick butterfly brainbuster. Alex keeps ahold of Goran by the hair, and tags his cousin Sean in once again. Alex pulls Goran up and lifts him over his shoulder ala the Awesomebomb, as Sean goes up top. Sean then launches off and nails a 450 splash, as Alex drops him with the power bomb! COLE Can't say that one's been done in an OAOAST ring either! However, Sean shows some inexperience as he goes up top again instead of immediately going for the pin. He yells out "End, bitch!" for some reason before nailing a corkscrew senton (ala AJ Styles's Spiral Tap). Sean again refuses to go for the cover, as he rolls to his feet and comes off of the ropes before nailing a beautiful running 450 splash! COACH I swore we banned moon boots... Sean finally goes for the cover... 1... 2... Goran gets his foot on the bottom rope. Sean pulls Goran up by the arm while arguing with the referee, and flips the official off. Sean grabs onto the top rope with his free hand, and then does a 619 in between the ropes, coming back around with an incredible piledriver version of the flying headscissors to drive Goran head-first into the mat! CABOOSE Tom Goran's kids, Daddy might not come home tonight! The crowd erupts, as even Sean's cousin Alex can't believe what his cousin just did. Sean shakes the cobwebs off for a second before going for the cover... 1... 2... Goran once again gets his foot on the bottom rope! Sean pounds the mat in frustration before pulling Goran up. He snapmares Goran, and kicks him hard in the chest to keep him lying down. Sean points to the sky before climbing the ropes. Sean takes a deep breath while standing atop the top rope, and launches off...and Goran moves away from the 630 Senton attempt! COLE That was a critical slip-up! Sean winces in pain after landing hard on the canvas. Both men shake off their cobwebs before slowly crawling towards their corners. Goran reaches out for the tag, with three mullet-wearing contest winners of some sort in the front row (it's not like they could actually afford those seats) cheering him on. But, Sean gets the tag in to his cousin Alex first. Alex darts across the ring and dives onto Goran before a tag could be made. Alex lifts Goran off of the mat with a waistlock, and tosses him backwards onto his neck with a release German suplex! COACH That's just plain cruel! Goran ends up rolling into a kneeling position, obviously out on his knees, as Alex immediately pulls him up. He lifts Goran and drops him on his head with a dangerous brainbuster! Alex gets up and pulls Goran off of the mat in reverse DDT fashion. Alex lifts Goran off of the mat and nails a lifting reverse spinning neckbreaker! Alex pulls Goran up once again and puts him on his shoulders. He looks to be going for an F-U before converting it into a sick brainbuster variation! COLE C'mon, enough's enough! Bryant pulls Goran up again instead of going for the cover, obviously wanting to finish him off for sure. He lifts Goran up, and drops him on his neck with a sick high-angle powerbomb! Alex tags in Sean, and they both pull Tom Goran up to whip him off to the ropes. Alex then connects with a stiff lariat that causes Goran to flip and land stomach-first on the mat. Alex turns Goran over as Sean goes up top. Sean crosses himself before nailing an incredible moonsault senton! CABOOSE That is one incredible move! COLE Then why won't he cover the man with it?!?! Alex then charges at the enemy corner and knocks Mike Hunt off of the apron with a high knee. Sean pulls Goran up, and gives him to Alex, who hooks Goran's arms and drops him on his head with a Tiger suplex! He holds on and switches to a half chicken wing/half nelson arm hook combo, dropping him on his head with an overhead suplex with that arm hook! Alex once again rises while keeping ahold of Goran, and switches to a full nelson before nailing a release Dragon suplex! COACH I think he's out! CABOOSE I KNOW he's out! But, I also know that the Bryants are sending a message to all other teams that they're for real! Alex pulls an unconcious Goran off of the mat and twists his legs up while hooking his head. Alex lifts, and drops Goran on his head with the Border City Driver (cross-legged fisherman's Michinoku Driver)! Alex teases going for the pin before shaking his finger. Alex points to the top rope, and that's exactly where Sean goes. He quickly perches himself up top before nailing his patented Roofie (Phoenix 630)! CABOOSE That's the hottest move in this fed today! Alex turns Goran over on his stomach, and locks in the Border City Stretch (crossface with the usually-tucked-between-legs arms folded behind the applier's back as he pulls on the neck and jaw)! Goran's unconcious, and the referee realizes it, as he calls for the bell and ends the match! BUFFER Your winners of the contest, Alex and Sean Bryant! Alex refuses to let go of the Border City Stretch, even after the bell... COLE Can we get some help out here? Sean just stands around, laughing at what's going on. Mike Hunt tries to save, but gets a 360-degree rotation spinning wheel kick from Sean for his troubles. This continues to happen until Nate and Mikey Tethers, formerly of the Rave and Assault Squad with Sean, charge angrily to the ring. Alex lets go of the Border City Stretch as both Bryants run away into the crowd! The Tetherses follow, and the camera loses track of the situation! COACH Thank goodness for the Tethers Brothers... COLE The chase is on between the two teams, but I think we got something else going on backstage... (CUT TO....) We cut to a shot of the parking lot, outside the building. A black luxury car pulls up in front of the door. Out of the backseat steps first Candie, and then, to a chorus of boos from the Vancouver crowd, the World Champion, Zack Malibu. Calvin Szechstein steps out of the passenger side, and out of the driver's side door steps the former 24/7 champion, Hoff. COLE An icy Canadian reception for the Thrillogy tonight! CABOOSE Clever, Cole. You been waiting all night to use that one? A parking lot attendant runs up to Hoff to reprimand him for leaving the car in the middle of the lot. Hoff shoves the man to to the ground with one hand, drawing the ire of the fans once more. Zack motions for the group to go, and they head for the door before it opens suddenly, and Josh Matthews steps out. CABOOSE "Scoop" Matthews is on the scene, hooray. Josh approaches Zack and Candie, but the champ simply brushes past him and walks into the arena. Josh approaches Calvin, but before either man can speak, Hoff steps up and takes the microphone out of Matthew's hands. HOFF Chris Stevens. The crowd goes BANANA! HOFF You took something that belongs to me, you son of a bitch. You stole it, you and that big bastard Gunner, but I'm going to have it back...tonight. And THAT is a promise. Hoff thrusts the mic back at Matthews, who almost drops it as Hoff storms away and into the building. As Matthews recovers, Calvin leans in and takes the mic. CALVIN Josh, buddy...might be a wise move to stay out of our way tonight. JOSH But what about Sly-- CALVIN Ah ah ah! I'll deal with Sly. You make sure we've got plenty of bottled water in our dressing room. JOSH But I'm-- CALVIN Just do it. Cal gives Matthews a condescending pat on the cheek, then walks away, rolling his eyes in disgust. COACH The Thrillogy is here, and they do not seem to be in good cheer! COLE Maybe not, but I know someone who is: Jackie Gayda! And she's with our NEW 24/7 Champion, Chris Stevens! Jackie, you there? The cameras cut to a shot backstage, where Jackie is standing next to a smiling Chris Stevens, 24/7 belt over his shoulder. The fans go NUT! JACKIE Thanks, guys! So, Chris, first of all, congratulations on your big win over Hoff last week! Stevens looks down and chuckles as a "Stevens" chant rumbles through the audience. STEVENS Jackie, last week was nothing. Last week was simply good timing. I mean, I just happened to be in the right place when big bad Gunner speared that punk out of his boots. I won't lie; I was a lucky man last week. JACKIE Well, lucky or not, you won that 24/7 Title from Hoff in dramatic fashion, and people have really been talking about you! STEVENS I guess it's true that there is no such thing as bad press, but, let me make one thing clear. Chris Stevens has never been about talk. I'm all about action. And that's why, I'm making a solemn vow to defend this belt each and every week against the best this company has to offer. The words "fighting champion" have never met someone like me. I'll redefine the term. And this week...I start with one of the biggest and baddest. JACKIE Indeed, you have agreed to defend your newly-won belt against the man you beat last week, Hoff! Why are you so eager to give him a rematch? STEVENS Well Jackie, everyone knows that Hoff and I have...a past. Stevens pauses, appearing to reflect on something. STEVENS But this isn't about that. The bottom line is this: I won this belt with help. If I'm going to be a true champion, I want to do it on my own. That's why I'm giving Hoff his rematch. After this week, no one can say I didn't earn it, because I am going to take that mother *BLEEP* apart. JACKIE Well, we'll certainly see what you can do here tonight, and I wish you the best of luck. But, I've got to ask you, what is the deal between you and Hoff? We know you both worked together before, but-- STEVENS Listen. Last week, I was pissed. I was sick of hearing that lousy oaf run his damn mouth. He stole the title in the first place, and he wouldn't be anything without those friends of his. So I called him on it. I gave Hoff a reminder of who he is, and of who I am. That's all. You want a better story? Find it yourself, because like I said... Stevens looks down at his belt, patting it with a free hand. STEVENS ...I'm through talking. Stevens walks off as Jackie smiles. JACKIE Well, there you have it, boys. Back to you! *cut to Sofa Central* COLE There you have it, indeed. Stevens is focused, he's not worried about the past! Hoff looks irate! What a main event this is going to be! Fans, if you've just joined us, let me repeat. Tonight, in our main event, Chris Stevens will defend his 24/7 Title against Hoff! CABOOSE I have to admit, Stevens looks pretty focused, but I wish we had a little more to the story here! I mean, what happened between these two? They really seem to hate each other! COACH Well, I did a little reporting-- COLE AND CABOOSE YOU?! COACH I know, isn't it weird? Anyway, yeah, I did a little digging and here's what I found. COLE Do tell. COACH Well, as we know from last week, Hoff and Stevens worked together in Minnesota. Turns out they were both in a promotion called "Northern Pro Wrestling." COLE Right, we heard Stevens reference that league last week! COACH Right. Well, get this. Chris Stevens was the longest-running champion in their HISTORY, until a certain someone showed up on the scene. COLE Frankie Muniz? Caboose slaps Cole upside 'da head. COACH When Hoff got there, he shot right to the top. He went through everyone, and he eventually beat Chris Stevens for their title! COLE Oh, my! COACH Right, but then Stevens came back and beat Hoff! And not just once...a bunch! COLE ...But then why would Stevens be so angry with Hoff? COACH Well, see, that's where things get interesting. Somehow, someway or another, Hoff got the title back. But when I asked anyone about that, no one would tell me a thing! COLE What? COACH It's the damndest thing. It's like some government cover-up! COLE Wow! COACH Yeah, but THEN it gets even weirder! I went through their old tapes-- CABOOSE You watched film?! COACH Yeah! CABOOSE Wow. This is a LOT more useful than you usually are. I'm impressed. COACH Awww, I lub you too Boo-boo! CABOOSE I'll kill you. COLE Guys! Coach, what did you see on the tapes? COACH Well. About three years ago, Hoff suddenly...disappeared. COLE What?! COACH Vacated the title and left. There was a tourney to crown a new champion, of course...but no one even mentioned Hoff after that. Or Chris Stevens, for that matter. COLE Weird.... COACH Yep. And after that, all I know is that Hoff and Stevens both ended up in Japan's Pro Wrestling NOAH... CABOOSE They worked in NOAH? Damn. COACH And then they ended up here. COLE Wow. Well, there's a little light, thanks to our own Jonathan Coachman! COACH Does this mean I'm not your guys' bitch anymore? CABOOSE No, you're still the bitch. COACH Aww... COLE Well, we'll try to get more info on all of this, but let's not forget about tonight! The here and now! Hoff vs. Stevens for the 24/7 Title, plus a whole lot more, so stay tuned!! (Go to break) (Return from break) (We go backstage to a woman’s locker room where Alix Spezia is sitting in a chair and resting her head against the wall. Her peaceful moment is interrupted by her arch rival, Candie. Candie rushes over towards Alix and immediately puts her arm around her shoulder. It’s an odd display of compassion from wrestling’s meanest woman.) CANDIE Alix, you poor dear! Auntie Candie is here! You poor poor little girl. ALIX Huh? Get away from me! What’s going on? What are you talking about? CANDIE Your rock star boyfriend? What’s his name? Slice? Sytch? Syd? ALIX Synth! (Alix goes into panic mode) Is he okay? Did something happen to him? He’s not my boyfriend! But is he okay? CANDIE (gently rubbing her hand against Alix’s cheek) You poor baby. Poor innocent Alix. I debated with Zack for hours on whether I should let you hear this...but.....maybe he’s right. Maybe we have done enough to you...... (Candie walks away from Alix. She expects Alix’s curiosity to get the better of her and call her back. Alix does not disappoint.) ALIX Candie, let me hear what? (Candie sighs comically, pretending that the information she has for Alix weighs heavily on her heart.) CANDIE I..Well....I’m not....It’s nothing. It’s nothing. Don’t worry yourself. ALIX It has to be something! You don’t debate for hours with Zack over nothing. If it’s about Synth...well, I don’t really have a right to know about it, but I’d really like to know. CANDIE Okay. (Candie nods her head solemnly) I’ll let you hear it. But only because Auntie Candie cares so much about you. (Alix rolls her eyes). Sylk and I were talking a couple of days ago, and I know this is wrong so if you want to get mad at me then you should feel free, but I decided to tape our conversation in case he said something that you’d find important. And I think he did. (Candie takes out a tape recorder and presses play. The tape is a little grainy and there’s a lot of voices in the background, mixed with some contemporary music. It’s obvious this wasn’t recorded at an arena.) CANDIE Alix seems to really be into you. She’s pretty, isn’t she. SYNTH Eh..... CANDIE Eh? SYNTH She’s cute and all, but so is a puppy. So is a friggin Care Bear and Synth ain’t trying to hook up with one of them cloud hoping muthafuckers. Synth seen four year old dudes wit’ bigger tits then Alix! C’mon, man! HAHHAHAHAHA! CANDIE What would you prefer she look like? (There’s a pause in the talking as we hear the sound of someone (probably Synth) drink something.) SYNTH Shit, dunno. Long legs, heavy tan, boobs the size of watermelons, big booty, blonde hair... CANDIE Sounds like you’re talking about, I don’t know.....Krista? SYNTH Krista? Shit yeah. Krista don’t even know! Synth’d get Krispy Kreme on that ass. She’s smoking n’ Synth ain’t jokin’, man! That’s the Synthmaster’s kind of woman, man. I got dick for days, she got ass for weeks. Krista puts Alix to shame. HAAHAHAAHAA! Maybe Alix can hold the Synth-o-nator over until he and Krista can start makin’ babies. CANDIE What happens to Alix when you get with Krista? SYNTH Who gives a shit, eh? Bitch gets dismissed. Adios hombre, schools out for da summer. What does Synth care what happens? Ain’t his problem. Hey, ya wanna get up n’ dance or what? CANDIE In a minute, hon. I’d love to talk about Alix some more, okay. She’s got a sweet personality, doesn’t she. Everyone says she so nice. SYNTH Aw yeah, she’s cool and all, but the girl’s got more baggage then a Louis Vuitton factory! HAHAHHAAHAHA! She’s damaged goods, man. Throw her ass in the bargain bin, for real. Can I get another drink? (Thinking that she’s done enough damage to Alix’s fragile emotional state, Candie stops the tape.) ALIX He...really....that’s....really...him? CANDIE (pretending to choke back empathic tears) Yes. ALIX Okay. (Alix tries to put on a “tough face”, but it just doesn’t work.) ALIX He told me I had a nice voice.... CANDIE Alix, he was like a ten year old who spins tall tales to get attention, he didn’t mean it. You have a terrible voice, sweetie. It sounds like your vocal chords were put through a paper shredder. ALIX He said he liked my tattoo..... CANDIE That thing is real? I thought it was a press on you got out of a Cracker Jack box! ALIX No body will ever love me... CANDIE Alix, that’s so far from the truth it’s not even funny. I have the perfect man for you! He’s Zack’s cousin! He’s a tiny bit slow, he’s missing a couple of teeth, and plenty of hair, and he smells kinda funky because he doesn’t always wash underneath all the rolls of fat he has. But....and this is a big but....he’s a moderator of an internet wrestling message board! He can lock topics on a whim and ban people whenever he wants! If you give it up on the first date, he may ban someone just for you! How awesome is that? (Alix breaks down into tears. Candie relishes seeing her rival in such a broken state) CANDIE Basically, this is the second time you’ve been cast aside in favor of a tall leggy blonde. You can’t grow any more, but have you considered a dye job? If not for your love life then for your career! Have you taken a look around lately? Me, Krista, Crystal; all blondes. You’re the only short haired brunette. You think there might be a reason for that? (Candie leaves the tape recorder on Alix’s lap. She exits the room, leaving Alix to sulk.) (Go to break)

(Return from break) The scene opens at ringside, where we see Jackie Gayda standing near the ropes. She's arguing with a production assistant. COLE Welcome back to HeldDOWN, fans! This is Michael Cole alongside Caboose in the Coach, and in the ring right now is none other than Jackie Gayda! Miss Jackie, call her what you will... COACH And she doesn't look happy, Mikey. COLE Well...no, she isn't. We're scheduled to hear from Chris Bryte right about now, and Bryte actually requested that Jackie conduct this interview! Why? Well...I really don't know. It's no secret around the locker room area that Jackie Gayda dispises Chris Bryte. She's had it in for him ever since the Great Angle Bash when he shoved her to the ground and tried to take her head off with a couple of kicks. And then it was two weeks ago when this asshole...this piece of garbage Bryte had the audacity to sic The Hand on Jackie! Jackie...she HATES Chris Bryte. She's tried as hard as she could try to get out of this interview... CABOOSE And that just goes to show just how unprofessional she really is. As a broadcaster, Cole, you have to put up with people you don't like from time to time. Hell, as long as I've had to put up with you two morons, it's a wonder that I haven't been driven to suicide as of yet. COLE Anyway, we're awaiting Bryte... Jackie rolls her eyes at the production assistant and walks towards the center of the ring with a sneer on her face. The house lights dim as "It's Goin' Down" hits the PA system. Dim blue spotlights cover the arena, and bright white strobelights flash at the entrance. Watch them flee! Watch them flee! Wa-Wa-Watch them flee! [hip hop hits] *SCRATCH, SCRATCH* And you do it like this... The locker room curtains swing open and the crowd boos wildly as Chris Bryte twirls out onto the stage with his arms extended into the air, clad in a bright gray suit and, as always, his trademark shades. He's accompanied by seven police officers. Bryte eggs the crowd on as he strolls down the entrance ramp with a cocky smile on his face; meanwhile, Gayda eyes him with disdain from the ring. When he reaches ringside, Bryte starts up the ring stairs and steps into the ring, where cups, bottles, beach balls, and other debris is tossed in his direction. The officers surround the ring, and the lights slowly begin to return to normal and the music dies down as chants of "Chris Bryte Sucks" echo throughout the arena. Bryte places his arm around Jackie, causing her to clinch her teeth and breathe a deep, angry breath. JACKIE Now Chris-- BRYTE (snatches the mic away) Whoa, whoa, whoa there Miss Jackie! Aren't you...uh...aren't you gonna introduce me?! Jackie shoots Bryte one of the most evil looks imaginable. Bryte, seemingly oblivious to her INTENSE~ hatred, just smiles away. BRYTE Well c'mon, baby! C'mon! Announce the Bryte Man! Do it! Bryte shoves the mic back HARD into her chest, knocking her back a step. She clinches her fists, and she begins to tremble as her body fills with rage. COACH Damn, Jackie looks like she may hit Bryte! CABOOSE I'd like to see her try it! Jackie takes a deep breath to compose herself. JACKIE (monotone) Ladies and gentlemen: Chris-- BRYTE Say it like ya mean it! JACKIE (higher pitch) LADIES AND GENTLEMEN... BRYTE LOUDER!!!!! JACKIE CHRIS FUCKING BRYTE!!!!! CAN WE GET THIS OVER WITH?!!!!!!![/color=red] Bryte jumps, startled by Jackie's anger. She continues breathing heavily, huffing and puffing, ready to explode at any moment. Bryte just cracks a smile, though, and he wraps his right arm around her and pulls her close. BRYTE Jackie, Jackie! I'm sensing a whole lotta pent-up anger there sweetheart! A whole lotta pent-up frustration. And ya know something, Jackie, I think maybe you need a man to help you release some of that frustration. Now listen, normally, Jackie, I wouldn't be caught dead associating myself with a bottom barrel skank like you, but who knows! Maybe if you're a good girl and if you play your cards right...I dunno, maybe later tonight, the Bryte man could swing by and show you just what-- Gayda takes a swing at him, and Bryte's just able to dodge it. The crowd pops in the background. BRYTE HEY! HEY!!! WHAT THE HELL'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?! You see Jackie...this is exactly why I called you out here tonight! This is exactly why I called OAOAST corporate and demanded that they made you the interviewer here tonight, because I've got a little something to say to you, sister! See Jackie, I've been watching you, girlfriend! Mmm-hmmm! I've had my eye on you! I've watched how you handle yourself in these interview segments! I've seen how you conduct yourself in the locker room! I've seen it, Jackie, and I've come to a conclusion about you, my dear, and I wanna make it perfectly clear for you that as an interviewer, as a reporter, and as a broadcast journalist, you, my dear, ABSOLUTELY SUCK!!!! The crowd boos in the background as Gayda continues to eye Bryte down. COLE That was uncalled for. CABOOSE I think it was right on the money! Bryte's so right! BRYTE Yeah...don't roll your eyes at me sweetheart, because deep down inside, you know I'm telling the truth! These people here in the crowd: they know I'm telling the truth! I mean...seriously, don't get me wrong! You're a GREAT piece of ass! (slight crowd pop) As eye candy, you're absolutely tremendous, but as an interviewer, Jackie...just face it: YOU CAN'T CUT IT! COACH Don't give her ideas, Bryte. You're gonna mess around and end up with another Lorena Bobbit on your hands! COLE Stop it! BRYTE Now fans, Jackie does suck as an announcer, but believe me: she ain't the only one! No! The OAOAST broadcast crew is a total mess right now! I mean, save for Caboose, the entire team is comprised of idiots! Everyone...from Cole on down! I'm talking Coach! I'm talking Josh Matthews! I'm talking Savage! Each and every last one of you morons! Collectively, you're a black eye on this sport! COLE Who the hell does this guy think he is? CABOOSE He's telling it like it is, Cole! I always liked Chris Bryte! BRYTE Now I know all of you fans out there have seen the poor state that OAOAST's broadcast team is in, and I know you're sick and tired! You're tired of buffoonery, you're tired of propaganda, you're tired of it all, and you're waiting for a change! Well ladies and gentlemen, never fear, because a change is on the way! So pay attention, Cole! Pay attention Coach! And YOU (points at Jackie)...you had damn sure better pay attention, and pay homage to the number one broadcast journalist in the game today! He is the most intelligent man in ALLLLLLL of wrestling, and fans, he just happens to be MY FAVORITE UNCLE! Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, I give to you the one...the only...KEVIN...YANCY...TAAAAAYLOOORRRRRRR~! Bryte points towards the entrance as "Everybody's Fool" by Evanescence hits the PA system. Blue and white spotlights focus on the entrance as a man appears from the locker room, his hair slicked back, and clad in a blue Hawaiian shirt, black slacks and loafers, with black shades on his face. He's got a big smile on his face as he starts down the ramp to ringside. COLE Hey...that's...that's "Uncle Kev"! That's the man who last week on HeldDOWN cost Panther his match-up against The Hand! CABOOSE Um...actually Panther lost to *CHRIS BRYTE* last week, Cole! COLE ...yes. I meant...Bryte. CABOOSE Now do you see what he was saying about you? Taylor nears the bottom of the ramp and heads up the ring stairs and into the ring. As he and Bryte embrace in the ring, the camera cuts backstage, where we briefly see Tina cuddled up to Panther's right arm as they both watch on a monitor in the locker room. We then cut back to ringside, focusing on the officers surrounding the ring before cutting back to the ring, where Taylor has a mic. Chants of "PAN-THER, PAN-THER" echo throughout the arena as Taylor begins to speak. TAYLOR Yes friends! Cheer! Cheer like you've never cheered before, for I...KEVIN...YANCY...TAYLOR...am here in the OAOAST, and things are about to change for the better! The crowd boos in the background as the cameras focus on a "CHRIS BRYTE SUCKS" sign in the crowd. We then cut back to the locker room, where Panther is eyeing the monitor intently. Back at ringside, Taylor continues. TAYLOR Now I've sat back for months now and watch as these so-called OAOAST announcers portrayed my nephew as a bad person! They've portrayed him as a scoundrel! Heck! They even tried to portray him as a MURDERER! You people have no idea how hard I had to work to clear poor Chris's name! (crowd boos) Well fans, I am here to make sure that that never ever happens again! As his own personal announcer, reporter and media representative, I am here to make sure that Chris Bryte receives the fair, unbiased coverage that he deserves! I will make sure that people like (eyes Jackie) this trollup here NEVER get the opportunity to soil my nephew's reputatation ever again, and at the same time, I will work to bring respectability to the OAOAST broadcast team! I will offer my expertise to people such as Michael Cole...to people like The Coach! Just sit back and learn from me, because with a little work, a little time, and a little effort, you'll be able to become ALMOST as good as me...KEVIN...YANCY...TAYLOR! Almost! Taylor laughs and holds up his index and thumb fingers to reiterate that last comment. Meanwhile, Jackie tries to leave the ring, but Bryte pulls her back. Jackie shoots Chris another evil glare. BRYTE Where you going, girlie?! Lesson time ain't over yet! Oh no! Because ya see, people, whether you know it or not, Uncle Kev here is no stranger to the OAOAST. See...he's actually been in the thick of things for a lot longer than people realize! Ain't that right, Unc? TAYLOR That's right...PANTHER! TINA! Didn't think you'd ever see me again, now did you? (smiles) Funny how things work out. See, since last December, I've been working with Chris, and together, we have made your lives a living hell! And I've enjoyed every second of it! And I'm sure that some of you unwashed masses are wondering "why"? Why have I targeted Panther! Why I targeted Tina! What has happened between us in the past that would make me actively try to make these people miserable. Well the answer, my friends, is as simple as four little letters...N...F...W...A! We cut back to Panther in the locker room. Tina's massaging his shoulders in order to keep him calm. We cut back out to a smiling Taylor at ringside. TAYLOR Yes, Panther! I was a part of that abortion of a fed you ran. I was employed by you for over two years, and it was there that I cemented my status as the number one broadcast journalist in the game! I mean let's face it, Panther...you know it's true...anyone who followed that fed know's it's true! I was the best commentator that company ever had! With my expert broadcast journalism, I brought more life, more energy, more entertainment to the masses than any other commentator in wrestling history. And how was I repaid for my expertise? I'll tell ya how! I got pushed to the B-show in favor for a friggin' DRUG ADDICT, and some HACK from Vancouver! The Vancouver crowd gives Taylor pretty good heat for that last comment. He continues. TAYLOR You see, Panther, in all the time I worked for you, you never appreciated me! You never appreciated my talent! My worth to the company. And on top of that, Panther, you disrespected me! You personally insulted me, you'd have me humiliated in front of the world by your wrestlers...week in and week out! I'd get attacked, and you'd turn a blind eye to it! You did nothing about it. It was because of you, Panther, that I became the laughing stock of my family...the BUTT of all my friends' jokes...and to top it all off, my nephew here, he was completely blind to it! He looked up to you, Panther! He idolized you! (runs his hands through his hair) You have no idea just how much it'd eat at me to see Chris Bryte running around wearing your stupid t-shirts...spouting your ridiculous catchphrases...it made me SICK! But I put up with it all, Panther! Despite all the mistreatment, I was still loyal to you and that blasted company of yours...that is, until you crossed the line. When you did the unthinkable! When YOU put your hands on Kevin Yancy Taylor! YOU ATTACKED ME, PANTHER! YOU ATTACKED ME! He breathes heavily for a moment, then a smile comes across his face. TAYLOR It was on that day, Panther, that I dedicated myself to ruining you. It was that day that I dedicated myself to making you miserable. Now around that time, there was someone else that was also looking for revenge against Panther. There was someone who gave me an offer, gave me the opportunity to pay you back, Panther...and that person...was none other than Tina Marie Laurer! (mild pop) Oh yeah, Tina! You promised me my revenge. In fact, you made a lot of promises, didn't you? Promises of fame. Promises of fortune. All I had to do was join your Angelfire army, and you'd take care of everything. And I believed in you, Tina! I believed in your cause and supported you more than perhaps anyone in Angelfire. And in the end, we triumphed! In the end, we drove Panther away from the sport and drove that fed of his out of business. And then what, Tina?! What happened to all the promises? The fame? The financial security! The money! What happened? (scoffs) Tina, YOU LET US DOWN! We did all the work, we were the ones that brought home the victory, but you didn't hold up your end of the bargain! Because of you, I found myself bankrupt! I was put out of my home! Thrown out on the streets! All because of you! You nearly ruined my life, Tina! It was only because of my brother, Chris Bryte's father that I was able to get back on my feet. And then, after all I went through, after I had given my all to see to it that we took Panther out once and for all...you had the audacity...TINA, you had the AUDACITY to show up here in OAOAST side by side with that man!!!!! You join back up with Panther! In that one move, Tina, you took all of my pain, all my trials and tribulations and YOU SPIT ON THEM! You disrespected me, Tina, and for that, Tina you became just as big an enemy as Panther was. And for that, you both had to suffer. The crowd boos once again in the background, as Chris Bryte roots his uncle on. Backstage, we notice that the locker room that once held Panther and Tina is now empty. Back to ringside... TAYLOR So that's when Chris and I came together. Chris had, by this point, begun to see just how low Panther had sunk, and together, we concocted a plan to ruin you both mentally, emotionally and professionally! It was me who sent Chris Bryte to Tina! I fed him all the information he needed get into your head Tina, and in turn, get into Panther's head. I fed him all the information he needed to get to the both of you, I even gave him The Hand. Heck, I was the guy who called J-Dogg up and lured him into that match against The Hand! All to get inside your head, Panther. All so that I could manipulate the both of you, and have my revenge. And now look at you...both of you. Panther and Tina...two of the most powerful, most ruthless people I've ever come across...now at the mercy of Chris Bryte and Kevin Yancy Taylor! I love it! COLE He sure is a long-winded son of a gun. COACH Man. BRYTE Yes, yes, yes! Uncle Kev, I couldn't have said it better. Panther and Tina have proven to be beneath us...I mean good God! How many times have I pinned Panther now? Once...twice...three...four times now!!! Compared to what...his two? People, I have dominated Panther! I have proven to be his superior, and now I've got nothing left to prove! See Panther, you were guaranteed one match with me upon your return to the OAOAST...and that match was unfortunately your last match, because I am announcing right here tonight in Vancouver, that Panther will never EVER get another chance to face Chris Bryte as long as he lives! (crowd boos) Oh yeah! I am done with Panther! I have surpassed him! I never want anything to do with that piece of garbage again, and just to make sure of that...look around the ring! We've issued a restraining order against Panther, and if he comes within 50 feet of me ever again, then he will be taken straight to jail!!!!! More boos come up from the crowd, as Bryte and Taylor pose. In the background, Gayda just looks on. COLE I can't believe it. I can't believe that Chris Bryte would have the audacity to put a restraining order on Panther! COACH Me either! I mean...who uses restraining orders in WRESTLING?! COLE I know. That's...that unprecedented Coach! Caboose just looks at both men and shakes his head. COACH Yeah. I can't believe he'd use a restraining order. I mean...can he do that?! COLE Well, he's done it, but I dunno we're gonna find out here! Here comes Panther! Indeed, the crowd pops in the background as Panther and Tina head down the ramp to ringside; Panther's got a chair in hand. They are immediately confronted by the cops upon reaching ringside. CABOOSE Yeah, Panther! You heard the man! It's over! You lost! Get outta here! COLE Panther...he looks incensed. Panther and Tina just glare into the ring as the cops try to talk them down. They appear to have calmed Panther until Taylor walks towards the ropes and spits at him. Panther flips, bursting through the crowd of cops, charging the ring and hitting Taylor with a spear, sending the crowd into a frenzy! COLE WHOA! HE'S GOT TAYLOR! PANTHER'S GOT HIS HANDS ON TAYLOR! CABOOSE POLICE! POLICE! The police try to get into the ring to get at Panther, but Panther swings the chair in their direction, keeping them at bay. He then turns to Bryte, freezing him like a deer in headlights... COACH Uh oh! CABOOSE Get outta there Chris!!!! Panther starts towards Bryte, who's scared stiff, and as he approaches, Panther takes the chair, rears back and.... *WHAM* COLE OH NO!!!!! HE HIT JACKIE!!!! Darn! At the last second, Bryte grabs Gayda by her right arm and pulls her into the way of the chairshot. Taylor and Bryte make quick exits as the cops rush Panther and put the cuffs on him. Meanwhile, Tina and some officials hit the ring to check on Jackie, who's now bleeding. COLE This is bad. This is real bad. She's hurt. CABOOSE And Panther's going to jail! Where he belongs! I love it. Taylor and Bryte look on as Panther is led from the ring in cuffs. We fade to... The Mad Cappa is exiting the building when his cell phone rings. Through the marvel of modern wrestling television, we hear the call. Or, for kayfabe, his volume is set to very high. "Great job tonight. You've made us proud." Cappa I'm not proud. He was defenseless. "He doesn't want us, or you, to succeed." Cappa Yeah, well you're just in it for the power. And you know what, I've had it. "Don't say that. You won't like saying that" Cappa Yeah, in case you didn't know. IM NOT SCARED OF YOU!" Cappa throws the cell against the wall, shattering it, and he walks out. He isn't wearing his "5" shirt... (Go to break) (Return from break) COLE What a night we've had so far, and we're now just moments away from our great main event! COACH That's right. If you're joining us late, get ready, because our NEW 24/7 Champion, Chris Stevens, will defend against Hoff! Should be a great matchup. COLE Absolutely, and-- The cameras abruptly cut to a shot of the Thrillogy in their locker room. COLE Oh, look at this! In the room, Hoff is pacing the floor as Zack, Candie, and Calvin sit in their plush leather chairs. HOFF Guys...okay, you gotta hear me out on this. ZACK We're all ears, buddy. Hoff takes a DEEP breath. HOFF Guys, I need to go it alone tonight. Calvin raises an eyebrow, and Zack cocks his head, but neither man speaks. HOFF It's just that...I dunno. This thing with Chris and I...I know I've told you some of it, but...it's personal. It's...it's a matter of pride, you know? I have to know whether I can beat him or not. One on one, straight up. Zack and Calvin look at each other, nodding. ZACK Sure, Hoff. If that's what you want. CALIVN We get it, big man. Take care of business. Hoff nods, and a slight smile passes over his face as he adjusts the velcro on his gloves. Hoff turns and heads out the door. COLE Hoff sure looks ready for battle. COACH In all fairness, you've got to admire him for -- hey, there's Stevens! The crowd pops as the cameras cut to a shot of Chris Stevens walking down a hallway, his face a stone mask, with the 24/7 belt around his waist. Stevens walks by several OAOAST employees, all of whom shout words of encouragement, but Stevens pays them no mind, keeping his eyes locked forward. CABOOSE I guess, as they say, the time for talking is over! COACH Talk about intense! COLE Chris Stevens is ready! Hoff is ready! And we're ready! Our main event of the evening....NEXT!! (Go to break)

(Return from break) "Set it Off” blares through the speakers at GM Place and that can only mean one thing: Crystal! She makes her way down the ramp, and is wearing her street clothes. COLE Seeing as she’s not in her ring gear, I think she may have something to say. CABOOSE Geez, you think? Man, aren’t you the observant one today! Hopefully the failure is announcing her retirement or something. That’s the only thing that’ll make this worthwhile. COACH You better watch yo mouth, foo. I don’t think she’d come in front of her hometown crowd and announce her retirement. Crystal grabs the mic and gets ready to speak, but can’t because of the crowd. CROWD Wel-come home! Wel-come Home! CABOOSE Oh man, I think I’m going to hurl. Wow, she grew up here! Let’s cheer her and be sheep following the crowd. Baaaah! COACH Bitter much? CRYSTAL (once the crowd has died somewhat) I’ve got to say: it feels GREAT to be home! Of course, the crowd goes crazy. Hey, cheap pops work! CROWD Crystal! Crystal! Crystal! CRYSTAL And while I would love to bask in this glory, there’s business that needs to get done. For the past week and a half, I’ve been a bit down in the dumps. It stung that I could be labeled a choker for not getting Heavyweight Belt. Hey, but I’m women enough to admit, I didn’t get the job done. CROWD Boooo! CABOOSE Damn right you didn’t. CRYSTAL Yep, I didn’t get the job done. But neither did Zack. Sure, he was the champ, and he didn’t need to beat me. This is true. But don’t you think a champion should WIN once in awhile on his own? Crystal looks towards the video screen and nods, seemingly signaling for something to happen. CRYSTAL Let’s take you back to Zack’s first Pay Per View defense after he won the title in quite a good match against his now fellow Thrillogy member, Calvin. The Pay Per View was “Living Anglelously” and his opponent was Sly Sommers. Unfortunately, I can’t show all the match, as great as it was. But let’s fast forward to the end, shall we? Sly then swings his fist back again, and takes the step forward for the punch. But, Sly again stops himself. Sly looks down at his fist, and seems to be contemplating his use of the chain. Sly then shrugs his head, and grabs Zack by the hair with his non-chained hand. Sly swings back, and keeps his arm held back for at least ten seconds. Finally, after even looking around at the crowd who are yelling at him not to do it, Sly shoves Zack down and drops his chain. COACH I can't believe it...Sly Sommers actually did the right thing for once. CABOOSE There's no way...he has a concience? Wimp. Sly then pumps his fist in the air, and yells out "PILEDRIVER, BITCH!". He actually gets a good amount of cheers from the crowd, who seem to be softening up to Sly after his last decision. Sly grabs Zack, and puts his head in between his legs. But, Zack drops down and delivers a low blow to Sommers, which actually garners scattered boos from the audience. Zack then picks up Sly's chain, and punches him with it! CABOOSE Finally, Zack has come to the dark side! COACH I honestly doubt that. Zack's become more rough-edged over the past couple of months, and isn't afraid to do whatever it takes to take out a heated rival! CABOOSE Believe what you want... Zack then tosses the chain into Sly's tights, as the boos become more increasing. Zack then pulls Sly up, lifts him, and drops him with the P.O.P. Drop! The referee awakens at the impact, and turns around for the cover........ 1.................. 2.................. 3! The screen freezes on Zack’s raised hand as the crowd jeers, even though the footage took place months ago. CRYSTAL Well, I wouldn’t call that an unassisted win. For the record, let’s state that Zack needed a steel chain to win his first PPV title defence. Alright guys, roll the next footage. The audience follows, as Coach stomps and cheers from on the table, leading the chant for his favorite female. Crystal gets up and sends Zack to the ropes, but he manages to counter, and sends Crystal in...and she's tripped by a recovering Candie, who was just getting up! COLE NO! CABOOSE Oh yes! Crystal turns around and yells at Candie, who is still very groggy from before. Hebner scolds Candie as well, and with his back turned, Malibu swipes up the title belt and runs at the distracted Crystal, nailing her in the back of the head with a beltshot! COLE That sonuvabitch! Crystal falls forward, nearly taking Hebner down, but Malibu catches her, and spins her around... COLE NO, not like this! C'mon Earl! ...He hooks her for the POP Drop~!, but instead of dropping her with a fisherman buster, cradles her and then sits out, using a SITOUT PILEDRIVER variation of his signature move! CABOOSE I think I heard her neck snap, Cole! Malibu covers, and doesn't bother hooking the leg, as Crystal is OUT COLD. ONE!!! TWO!!!! THREEEEEEE!!! *DING DING DING* CRYSTAL So Zack upgraded from a chain to a belt. Classy! CABOOSE Seriously, what the hell is this suppose to prove? COACH That Zack is a sham of a champion? CABOOSE Yeah, that’s why he’s still the champion, right? CRYSTAL And finally, footage from last Sunday at License to Pin. Roll it, monkeys! Malibu applies a front facelock, and pulls Crystal up so that they're both standing on the top rope. He reaches down, trying to hook her leg fisherman style, as the fans gasp at the horror that is to come...UNTIL CRYSTAL SHOVES HIM OFF AGAIN! Zack falls to the mat, but lands on his feet, and runs right up the ropes...BUT GETS CAUGHT WITH A SUNSET FLIP POWERBOMB BY CRYSTAL....SHE HOLDS ONTO THE LEGS...AND ROLLS HIM OVER INTO THE CRYSTALLING~! COLE SHE'S GOT IT! COACH MIKEY, THIS IS IT~! Malibu has NOWHERE TO GO, as the fans go nuts, screaming as much as their vocal chords will allow! Crystal has The Crystalling applied, and Zack Malibu is not able to reach the ropes or anything for a break! The already rabid crowd is electric, chanting Crystal's name, seeing that she's finally gotten Zack's number! COLE LOOK AT ZACK! LOOK AT HIM SQUIRM! Malibu is in a state no one has ever seen him in, as he looks downright frightened, his face now a pale shade of white as he swings his arms, trying to grab onto something to cause a break. Crystal leans back further, and Zack screams in agony, as Earl Hebner asks him if he gives up. Malibu shakes his head no, but the look on his face tells us that if he weren't trying to hold onto the World Title, he'd already be back in the dressing room by now! "TAP!" "TAP!" "TAP!" "TAP!" Each and every person, man, woman or child, is chanting at Zack Malibu, telling the cocky one to just give it up, as Crystal has the hold on finally, and will not let go. Blood and sweat drip from Malibu's face as his cries of pain go unanswered, a receipt for the months of torment he's put Crystal through. Crystal grits her teeth and cinches the hold in as tightly as she can, keeping the pressure applied. Hebner goes to the canvas again, staring into Zack's face and asking him if he gives up. "What do you say, Malibu?" "I....aaaaaaaaaaaargh!" "C'mon Zack, what do you say? Do you give?" "I....unnnnhhhhhhhhh...noooooo!" Malibu refuses to tap, and being locked in this hold must seem like an eternity to him. "TAP!" "TAP!" "TAP!" Hebner tells Crystal that Zack has refused to give up, so she leans back even more, nearly bening him in half at the lower back! Malibu screams in agony once again, and Hebner returns to his side, questioning his ability to stay in this. "Do you give up, Zack? Whaddya say?" "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah...unhhh...arrrrrrrgh..." "Yes or no, Zack? Whaddya say?" "I...I...yeeeeeaarrrrrrgh...unh..." "Do you give up, Zack? Do you?" "I...I...I gi...yeaaaaaaaaaaaargh!!!" DING*DING*DING The crowd ERUPTS in one of the loudest pops in wrestling history, as Crystal releases the hold and collapses in exhaustion. She looks up, and sees the fans going wild, pulling herself to her feet and throwing her head back, raising her arms up and looking to the sky. COLE SHE DID IT! CRYSTAL HAS WON THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP! CABOOSE No way! Malibu didn't tap! This is a conspiracy! Earl Hebner retrieves the belt from Michael Buffer after a moments discussion, and now the roughed up announcer (from having been dumped into the fans earlier) makes things official. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the thirty minute time limit on the World Title Match HAS EXPIRED. CRYSTAL First a chain, then a belt, now a time limit? Can you not fight and win your own battles Malibu? And they call ME a choker. “ZACK’S A CHOKER clap clap clapclapclap!” “ZACK’S A CHOKER clap clap clapclapclap!” “ZACK’S A CHOKER clap clap clapclapclap!” Crystal approves of the chant and eggs it on, until "Nothing" interrupts the fan participation and stops the chant dead in its tracks. World Champion Zack Malibu storms out, dressed like his typical preppy self, and weilds a mic. MALIBU CUT MY MUSIC....CUT IT NOW! The music stops as Malibu powerwalks down the aisleway, headed towards the ring. MALIBU You pathetic, whiny bitch! Are you kidding me? You're out here running a smear campaign on me? On ME!? DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM!? I'M ZACK MALIBU GOD DAMN IT! Malibu is now climbing into the ring, while Crystal stands her ground. CRYSTAL Oh, I know who you are, Zack. I mean, it took some getting used to, but I'm very familiar with you now. I know where you stand, and it's not even close to where you once did. The footage proves it, Zack. You call yourself a fighting champion? A savior? How can you be a savior when you can't even save yourself!? MALIBU Save myself? Honey, this is WRESTLING. This isn't just a sport, this is a neverending battle. See, you wouldn't know it, but as a World Champion, you've got a target on your back. Every Tom, Dick, and Jane want to climb through these ropes and try to get one over on me. Well you know what, I played the role for too long. FAR too long. I tried to be a nice guy. I went by the book. I kept it all inside. But catering to these people is not how I intended to spend my career. The In Crowd were never meant to be crowd favorites. You know why these people cheered us? Because they KNEW we were better than them! They KNEW we were the "in" thing, no pun intended. These fans...they're fairweather. Just like friends in wrestling. But here you are, acting like you've just made a startling revelation to the world. Did I go by the book at one point? Yeah, I did...and what did it get me? Betrayal? A few near death experiences? Honey, I've been down roads that you're afraid to take...although if you don't back off your defamation of my character, we're gonna go for a long ride to cut your career short! CRYSTAL Cut MY career short? That's not happening anytime soon, Zack. Two weeks ago I walked to that ring and tossed you from corner to corner. You were ready to tap, Zack, and, no pun intended from me either...you were saved by the bell. The time limit is the ONLY thing that kept your belt around your waist. If it's not a chain, it's The Thrillogy. If it's not The Thrillogy, it's pure LUCK, plain and simple. MALIBU Luck? CRYSTAL Luck. MALIBU Luck, huh? Let's talk about luck, Crystal. Let's talk about how this is your lucky day, then. You really think that you're hot shit, don't you. You think your God's gift to the wrestling world because you break from the norm? Well you know what...how would you feel about stepping up one last time. How would you like this to all go away? CRYSTAL I'm listening. MALIBU AngleSlam is coming up this month. Big event, in case you haven't done your OAOAST history. Now, I personally don't feel you deserve another shot at the title, but... CRYSTAL You might not feel it, but you KNOW it. MALIBU ...I do? CRYSTAL Zack, I've pinned you. I've made you tap. But I'm not about to be led into some Thrillogy master plan. As much as I want that title, I... Suddenly, JOSH MATTHEWS of all people runs down to the ring, motioning to the two. COACH What the hell is Jiggy Josh doin' down here? Malibu turns and glares at Matthews, who gulps and hands Zack a note. Malibu turns back towards Crystal sneering, but before either can comment on this odd turn of events, the lights dim and the AngleTron lights up, followed by the sound of a familiar voice... "WELL...WELL...WELL..." The fans pop upon hearing the catchphrase of former ECW announcer extraordinaire JOEL GERTNER! COLE Joel Gertner!? COACH That man is a P-I-M-P! I always wanted that cool shirt collar he had. CABOOSE That was a neckbrace, you twit! Malibu and Crystal stare in disbelief at the screen, wondering why exactly Joel Gertner of all people is cutting them off. GERTNER It is I, the Quintessential Studmuffin...Joel, I'm sorry to cut you off, but I have to get this off my chest...much like your mom has to wipe my BLEEP! off her breast...GERTNER! COACH YO~! GERTNER Zack Malibu, Crystal, greetings from the Front Office. The OAOAST Board Of Directors, as well as those on the Championship Commitee, have requested the presence of yours truly to relay a message to you both. In hopes of settling this war once and for all, a match has indeed been made for AngleSlam! The fans pop. Crystal smiles. Malibu scowls. GERTNER However, it won't be just any match. This match will be consisted in a specially constructed cage that will hang from the ring. Come match time, it will lower and encase you two and a referee. No Thrillogy. No Sly. No Northstar. There won't be any form of entry on this cage. Once it's lowered, you two are locked in till the finish. MALIBU WHAT? What the hell are you talking about, you has-been shock jock sonofa... GERTNER I'm not done, Zackary! The Championship Commitee has ruled that this match CANNOT end on a pinfall or submission like most matches would. In fact, every rule that you know...throw it out the window. Malibu smirks slightly. Crystal seems more concernred. GERTNER It comes down to two things, people. Survive...or Surrender. One of you will walk out of that ring with a big gold belt draped over your shoulder. The other? Well he or she, depending on who can't handle it, will be known the world over for two magical words...I Quit. COLE WOW! A Survive Or Surrender I Quit Match!? I've never even seen one and I'm excited! GERTNER Now, with that news, I bid you farewell. Oh, and Matthews? The metro thing...it's not gonna work pal. With those cryptic words to announcer Josh Matthews, the screen fades to black, and Malibu turns to Crystal, looking ready to explode. CRYSTAL Sounds good to me, champ. With a sarcastic tone in her voice, Crystal shoves Zack, almost playfully. Malibu begins to laugh. MALIBU Sounds good to you? Of course it does...because you got what you wanted. Be warned though...this will be the LAST TIME I let you in my ring with me. You'll be scrubbing pans with the rest of the dishrags in some soup kitchen somewhere. I'm not afraid of you, I'm not threatened in the least by you... CRYSTAL ...even though I beat you twice, and almost walked out of License To Pin with your title? Malibu is incensed. He walks towards Crystal, looking down into her eyes in an intimidating fashion. MALIBU You don't get it. This dream of yours...it's just that. A dream. The happy endings don't always happen in reality, Crystal. I've tried to tell you. God knows I've tried to show you. This is it! The end of the line! The ultimate reality check is coming your way, and you want to put it off just for the sake of hyperbole!? We are talking about the World Heavyweight Title, dammit. A title that I made! Not Anglesault, not Caboose, certainly not Alfdogg...ME! I MADE THAT BELT! I BLED FOR IT! I FOUGHT FOR IT! I lost my girlfriend at the time because of that title. I lost my best friend because of the fact that I held that title! All these things that would have killed a lesser man, they didn't kill me...they made me realize what I had to do...they made me stronger. They made me realize I couldn't be weak...I couldn't keep my guard down...and that I SHOULDN'T GIVE A DAMN WHAT ANYONE ELSE THINKS OF ME!? A cheater!? A coward!? Call me whatever you want, Crystal, but the fact is I'M THE ONE WHO IS CALLED CHAMPION WHEN IT'S ALL SAID AND DONE! I'M THE ONE WHO WALKS AWAY WITH THE BELT AROUND HIS WAIST, AND YOU'RE THE ONE WHO GOES HOME CRYING! YOU'RE THE ONE DESPERATE FOR THE NEXT CHANCE! Well, it's here. It's not just your next chance...it's your LAST CHANCE. If you're so determined...so strong-willed...why don't you do your fanbase a favor and MAKE IT COUNT? With that, Malibu drops the mic at Crystal's feet and walks away, back pedaling as she glares at him. The cameras close in tightly on a very determined Female Phenom, who looks like she's ready to kill, before taking us to commercial break. (Go to break)

(Return from break) CUE: Awww Naww, POD Remix COLE It's time for Stephen Joseph vs. Andrew Hyland! COACH After last week, Hyland stood up to the former IntenseZone Producer. CABOOSE You know I can't wait to see Popick get his! Stephen Joseph (with mic, and music, and the INTEN5E behind him, minus Puerto Rican) Well, Hello everyone! i think Chad Kroeger wrote a song about a hero once, for that Spiderman movie, the one you know that Caboose plugged the sequel to at License to Pin? I think he said "and they say a hero can save us" But Andrew, you know how that song ends...the hero didn't come until it was too late, and the poor sap Chad sang about tried...and failed. That's you chump. You try, and you fail, and you run away for a couple more months. Now I'm here to say one thing. It has been far too long since Stephen Joseph has worn gold. And with the help of the INTEN5E, I will wear gold again, just like Black T will get their Tag Team Titles back. It's open challenge season, so after I get done with ole Andrew here, I can't wait till a champion has the cajones to accept my challenge for their title...whatever title it is. I'm looking ... ::steps into the ring, and the pyro on stage goes off!:: After it clears, there's Andrew Hyland! Hyland I said, YOUR HERO IS HERE! And may I remind you of something you overlook Stephen. On Intensezone, I was your handpicked North American champion because YOU didn't want to deal with me being in the tag division! Face facts. I'm young, you're has-been. Me a hero? You're a "5" ::holds up 5 fingers, then traces into a first:: No, I think instead you're a zero. ::Bell Rings, and Hyland rushes the ring, spearing down Stephen Joseph and unloading with the right, Stephen crawling towards the ropes in an attempt to get away. Andrew pulls a scrambling Stephen up by his hair, and chops him across the chest, screaming "WOOO!" and the crowd responds, He whips Joseph across, and Joseph hangs on to reverse the momentum, spinning atomic drop! A quick cover by the corporate member yields a 1 count on Hyland. Cockily, Stephen begs Hyland to get up, and Hyland sweeps his feet to knock Stephen Joseph flat on his back. Standing Red Star Press! and Hyland poses for the crowd. COLE Now's the time to go for the pin! Hyland turns to bend over, to grab Stephen by the head, but ole Joseph reverses the the movement into a small package. 1 2 ! No! Hyland frees himself from the hold, meeting Popick standing face to face. Stephen slaps hard on Hyland's chest and buts the boot to the midsection, driving Hyland back to whip him across and meeting him with a snipping elbow coming back. His Inten5e companions cheer outside the ring. As Hyland gets up, Stephen goes for a waistlock, trying to turn it into a wheelbarrow suplex, As Hyland raises back off the mat, he counters the momentum and swings back down through Popick's legs, flapjacking him onto the mat, almost a reverse Code Red! Hyland takes to the ringpost and climbs as Stephen stirs, slowly getting to his feet. T-Bod is yelling for Stephen to watch out, and Hyland's lining up for his signature top rope move, the Hero's Welcome (Deep Sea Drop) He grabs Popick's head, but Popick cartwheels back and catches Andrew with a stiff kick to the head! Then he plants Hyland with a DDT from the post to the ring, and covers. 1! 2! 3! But the ref sees Popick's foot on the ropes before signaling! Stephen Joseph yells at the ref, pushing him back into the corner as Hyland stirs. Joseph continues to jaw as Hyland gets to his feet and the crowd comes alive! Joseph turns around and Hyland waves! Popick rushes and Hyland steps by slips one arm around the neck and suplexes Stephen back into a Stunner... COLE HYLAND FINALIZED STEPHEN! He stole a move! COACH Here comes the cover! 1! 2! No Dan Black breaks it up! Hyland's furious and chases Dan out of the ring! Hyland's back over to Stephen, who lays as deadweight. Hyland struggles to pull him up, and Tony jumps the ring, drawing the ref! Stephen springs to life and low blows Hyland, and grabs him by the throat...Desperation Synchroncity, a facing full nelson choke bomb! Popick yells for the ref as Tony jumps down 1! 2! No! Hyland kicked out! "GIVE ME A DAMN CHAIR!" yells Popick and Dan Black throws one in. "AND A MIC!" That's thrown in as well as the ref protests the chair. Stephen Joseph You said any match? First Blood Hyland. Stephen Joseph swings baseball style and connects to Hyland's head, sending Hyland thumping a foot across the mat. Stephen brings the chair down directly on top of Andrew's head, then across the stomach as Hyland's head starts to trickle red. The bell is called, but it isn't over. The Inten5e hit the ring and throw the referee out. Stephen hands the chair to Tony, who wacks Hyland in the knee. Dan Black too, takes a turn and thrusts the chair down with both hands on Hyland's neck. Then Dan hands the chair to Cappa, who stares at it, then Hyland, then Popick "Do it" COLE Cappa for God's Sake don't do it! Cappa shakes his head, and Stephen grows angry. He grabs the chair from Dan and thrusts it into Cappa's hands. "This man is an enemy to us. He is against US. Show you loyalty to your friends who stood by you on HeldDown" Cappa squirms, and looks out at the crowd. They are screaming "NO!" as he holds the bloodied chair with his right hand. Stephen Joseph and T-Bod scream to Cappa to swing away at Hyland, crumpled and lying on the mat after Dan Black's brutally unprotected chair shot. COACH A big moment for Cappa. He knows this isn't right! CABOOSE Stephen Joseph has his mind in Cappa's. He doesn't know what is right. Cappa looks down at the chair, and Popick grabs him by the shirt. "DO IT!" he screams and Cappa pushes him away and brings the chair up! COLE Cappa's standing up for himself! The crowd cheers as Popick looks with rage at Cappa, who brings the chair DOWN ONTO HYLAND'S HEAD! ::CRACK!:: The sound smacks and reverberates across the arena and the fans are silent. Cappa throws the chair away, and even without a mic we hear him "There, it's done. Happy now...? " COACH I can't believe Cappa went through with it. Stephen's getting him to do exactly what he wants! And Stephen looks at Cappa, and smiles, as the rest of the Inten5e gather around, patting Cappa on the back as he looks to the ceiling...as if asking for forgiveness. COLE One more time, listen to this ::replay!:: Cappa, who brings the chair DOWN ONTO HYLAND'S HEAD! ::CRACK!:: CABOOSE I know we all hate'm but the Inten5e are sticking together, even if they don't like what they have to do. And the crowd begins to chant "CA-PPA SUCKS!" as the Inten5e leave the ring, excepting Cappa, who stands in the middle, over Andrew Hyland, not knowing to even move. (Go to break) (Return from break) We return from break to the sight of everyone in the arena standing on their feet, looking towards one section of the building. The director in the truck goes through various camera angles trying to find the source of the disturbance, but the mass of fans flocking towards one section of the arena blocks the view. Walking through the sea of fans are none other than James E. Cornette & his self-proclaimed OAOAST tag team champions, the New New Midnight Express, wearing t-shirts and shorts. The fans touch all 3 men, irating Jim Cornette who threatens to hit anybody who touches him again with his tennis racket. A man in his early-20s takes Cornette up on his threat, but instead of hitting the fan with the racket, Cornette goes even lower -- knocking down the fan's beer, making him pout. "Sarcastic" Simon & "Narcissistic" Ned cooly strut down the aisle holding their heads high with the tinted blue OAOAST tag team titles over their shoulders, as the fans have their brush with greatness doing whatever they can to feel "their champions," like Jim Cornette put it during a live chat with fans on OAOAST.com last Thursday night. COLE As you saw last week on HeldDown -- after GPX defeated Black T for the tag titles the NNMX ambushed them, stealing the belts at the end. CABOOSE Scotty should ask the NNMX for refund. COLE For what? CABOOSE For the defective Vegomatic Scotty received last week. It didn't slice or dice his throat. I'm sure Simon would be more than willing to give him another one. COLE Yeah, I'm sure he would. CABOOSE Hey, Scotty could pay the NNMX with the OAOAST tag titles since everybody knows GPX spend their money on booze, weed and porn. COACH Nothing wrong with the first and last items -- but yes, GPX don't know the meaning of a dollar. CORNETTE Can somebody tell me when the entire world became Florida? When Jivin' J.R.'s man boobs put me to sleep at License to Pin, did I wake up in some fantasy land? How in the world could you people vote for the Global Party XChange? Huh? They've had more chances at the tag titles than J-Lo has pickin' husbands. They blew their shots... SIMON Like they blow each other. CORNETTE (CONT'D) ...and yet my Midnight Express, who gave our previous tag champs the biggest run-for-their-money than any other team before us combined, are forced to sit on the sidelines and watch those two punks win our belts. Need I remind you the Midnights took it Siegfried & Roy a couple of weeks back before Black T stuck their noses in our business. One vote? One vote?! If all my friends weren't out of town... COLE He doesn't have any friends. CABOOSE You two would make great friends if Jimmy weren't out of your league. CORNETTE (CONT'D) ...and without access to the Internet, we damn sure would of won the Interactive poll in a landslide. It's such a disgrace Michael Moore is already making a movie about it. "8-5 Midnight." You see, you people went to the polls and didn't even bother taking the time to look over the candidates. The Saints? Those guys are spending more time on their music and starring in the wrestling version of "Chasing Amy" than working on their lack of wrestling skills. Guys, go back to Vegas and take a trip to the Bunny Ranch. Hell's Hitmen would of been fine choices, but what this company needs -- and still does -- is a team who'd bring pride and dignity to the OAOAST. And that team, ladies and gentlemen, is the New New Midnight Express. The skills of Eaton & Lane, with the bodies of Mr. Universe. I guess you could say Simon & Ned are heavenly bodies. But we got the last laugh. We have the belts. If you Canadians would be so kind and look at my New New Midnight Express, the only two -- make that three -- good-lookin' guys in the whole stinkin' country, standing in the ring. Simon, Ned -- hold 'em up, will ya. The NNMX hold up the old OAOAST tag titles. CORNETTE Whenever GPX want a shot at the OAOAST tag titles, call me and we'll set something up. But I won't be losing sleep waiting for that call, because I know you guys know the Midnights are pissed. And like I said 3 weeks ago, if there's one thing you don't want to see -- it's a pissed off Midnight Express. Besides, we all know you're scared of the NNMX. Hell, I would too. So you morons at the gorilla position, send out the two schmucks who'll get pounded by the Midnight Express. You need my love baby, oh so bad You're not the only one I've ever had And if I say I wanna set you free Don't you know you'll be in misery They call me (Dr. Love) They call me Dr. Love (calling Dr. Love) I've got the cure you're thinkin' of (calling Dr. Love) And even though I'm full of sin In the end you'll let me in You'll let me through, there's nothin' you can do You need my lovin', don't you know it's true So if you please get on your knees There are no bills, there are no fees Baby, I know what your problem is The first step of the cure is a kiss So call me (Dr. Love) They call me Dr. Love (calling Dr. Love) I am your doctor of love (calling Dr. Love), haaaaaa They call me (Dr. Love), they call me Dr. Love (calling Dr. Love) I've got the cure you're thinkin' of (calling Dr. Love) The Love Doctors appear on stage, teasing the ladies by going up to them and opening their doctors coats, exposing their sexy selves. * DING DING DING * BUFFER This following contest is set for one fall. Already in the ring, Jim Cornette presents "Sarcastic" Simon & "Narcissistic" Ned, the New New Midnight Express. Their opponents, weighing a cominbe 429 pounds, they are Dr. Stephen Pigley and Dr. Max Anderson, The Love Doctors! Pigley and Anderson, wearing long white doctor's coats, walk around the ring, bumping and grinding in the general direction of female fans. The NNMX waste no time going to work, attacking the Love Doctors outside, slamming them into the steel guardrails, then stomping them while they're down. Simon & Ned remove the Love Doctors' coats, revealing their matching red trunks with "M.D." on the back. Ned rams Steven shoulder-first into the ringposts, then smacks his (Steven's) head onto the ring apron before throwing him back into the ring. On the outside, Simon drops Max across the guardrailing and joins his partner back in the ring. The Midnights execute an old-time classic: droptoe hold-elbow drop combination. Classic Midnight Express. Cornette waves his racket while wooing, as he watches his team showboat -- making the "X" gesture with their two index fingers. The camera cuts to Dr. Max Anderson standing on the apron. Springboard. WHAM! SPRINGBOARD DOUBLE-CLOTHESLINE! Stunned, the Midnights have trouble getting back on their feet. But the Love Doctors have a presciption for that -- one dose of DOUBLE COCONUT (Simon & Ned's heads smacked together). The LDs continue stunning the wresting world by rocking the NNMX with punches and kicks. A couple of solo dropkicks send the NNMX falling outside, where they consult with their manager Jim Cornette, who's pounding the ring apron with his hands, obviously upset by the turn of events -- which the fans are loving. COLE Check out this crowd. They can't believe the Love Doctors made the Midnight Express retreat. The last time we saw the Love Doctors in a OAOAST ring, they were getting brutalize by Hell's Hitmen. CABOOSE Who isn't these days? Those guys are monsters. That's why they're facing the Global Party XChange next week on HeldDown for the tag titles. I predict we'll crown new champions. GPX will become the shortest lived tag champions in OAOAST history. COLE At least you'd then have company. Didn't you hold the OAOAST championship for like, a minute or something? CABOOSE (imitating a phone) Ring. Ring. Hello? I'm afraid he's busy right now. Can I take a message? Sure, I'll let him know. My pleasure. Good-bye. Cole -- you suck! FYI: My last title regin lasted more than a minute. COLE (sighing) Frustrated and bored of their jobs as ER doctors, Max and Steven quit and began training to become professional wrestlers. After a year of solid work, they're ready and willing to make an impact. Due to the cost of wrestling school and everyday expenses they supported themselves by stripping, and now believe themselves to be irresistible to women. CABOOSE And some men, too, right? COLE Not this again. CABOOSE Come on, Cole. I saw the way your eyes lighted up when the Love Doctors made their way to the ring. Ned hops back in the ring, struting around. He stands dead-center in the ring in a karate pose. "Narcissistic" Ned challenges Dr. Steven to a karate contest. Steven doesn't know what to do except scream and yell. Blanchard catches Pigley with a sidekick to the midsection, knocking the air out of him. Double axe-handle sends Steven down. Scoope slam. Boom! Ned with the tag. Simon, the high-flyer of the duo, immediately goes to the top. FLYING ELBOW DROP. 1... 2... Kickout. Elbow drop to the chest. Simon delivers another before going for the cover. 1...2...Dr. Steven gets the shoulder up. CABOOSE Pigley whipped into the Midnights' corner. Man, oh man. Singleton driving his shoulder into the gut of Dr. Steven. I've heard of patients being upset with their doctor's work, but Simon's taking it to another level. A little play-by-play courtesy of Caboose, Michael. COLE (jokingly) You were wonderful. CABOOSE I know. "Sarcastic" Simon plumply's Pigley in the corner, the refeere trying to get him to break it. Cornette asks the referee "Why don'tcha just let the guys wrestle instead of worrying about something as pointless as a clean break, huh?" Simon gets back, allowing "Narcissistic" Ned to choke Steven with the tag rope, another old school tatic. Very effective. Ned struts around on the apron, giving a thumbs up sign, like he did nothing wrong, when the referee looks his way. Tag made by the Midnights. Double-underhook suplex by Ned. 1... 2... Dr. Max Anderson pulls Blanchard off. Not pleased with his actions, Ned goes after Dr. Max but Max hiptosses him down to the mat. Singleton enters the ring, and he too goes down courtesy of a hiptoss. Anderson backdrops a charging Ned Blanchard unknowningly on his (Max's) own partner, Dr. Steven. Dropkick drops -- no pun intended -- Simon between the ropes, to the outside. Max heads back to his corner, encouraging his partner to make the tag. Steven counters a piledriver with a backdrop but Ned floats over. Pigley ducks a clothesline attempt; Ned does the same. Steven off the ropes... Ned ducks down for a backdrop but Dr. Steven catches him flush in the upper right shoulder with a powerful kick. Grabbing his shoulder, Ned gets scooped up...TIME OF DEATH (Michinoku Driver)! Instead of holding onto the legs for the pinfall Steven falls backwards, visibily exhausted from the beating he's taken. In a scene that'd get your adrenaline pumping, the fans encourage Dr. Steven Pigley by singing a verse of the LDs theme song, "Calling Dr. Love." They call me (Dr. Love) They call me Dr. Love (calling Dr. Love) I've got the cure you're thinkin' of (calling Dr. Love) Cornette covers his ears, while Simon screams at Ned, letting him know which corner to come to. Both men (Ned & Steven) crawl to their corners, looking like they're on a desert island, every inch being as valuable as their ability to breathe. On the apron, their partners do their best to extend their arms while continuing to hold onto the tag rope position near the turnbuckle. Ned decides to make one last attempt to keep Pigley away from his corner by holding onto his legs with every bit of strength left in his body, but he can't. Tag made. Ned quickly let's go on Steven in favor of tagging in his own, fresh partner, Simon. Dr. Max comes in a house afire. He repeatedly sends Blanchard & Singleton down with right hands. The crowd, surprisingly has gotten very much behind the Love Doctors, despite this being only their second appearance on OAOAST TV. Dr. Steven joins his partner, hammering away on Narcissistic Ned like a hammer on a nail. The Midnights go old school, stopping their opponents momentum with a thumb to the eye. They both whip the Docs to the ropes. Steven counters a backdrop by floating over the top and connects with a DDT; his partner Max with a small package on Simon. The referee counts both pin attempts. 1... 2... 3-- NO! Both men kickout. Cornette bends over, wiping the sweat off his face, on the outside. He too is amazed by this action...and the tremendous effort being put forth by the Love Doctors. On his knees, Simon tries a low blow, but he got caught with a dropkick right between the eyes, falling backwards. On the other side of the ring, Steven whips Ned into the ropes not knowning his partner is position square in the middle of the ring. He warns him, allowing Max just enough time to react -- inverted atomic drop. Anderson sends Blanchard back to Pigley, who catches him with a bearhug, then leans forwards. The fans stand on their feet. We're all going to be witnesses in Ned's LETHAL EJECTION. Max goes to the top. SHOOTING STAR ELBOW DROP. THE LETHAL EJECTION! Max with the cover. Cornette jumps on the apron. Dr. Steven grabs a handful of Cornette's polyster suit, the referee orders him to let go and return to his corner. Huge right hand for James E., but it causes him to throw his racket up, which lands in the ring. Sarcastic Simon jumps back into the ring, trying to catch the racket in midair but Max shouldertackles him out of the way, picking up the racket himself. He threatens to hit Singleton, who's cowering in the corner, begging him not to. From behind -- Ned from behind with a low blow. Simon with the clothesline. THE DOUBLE GOOZLE (clothesline-legsweep combo)! Simon tackles Steven to the outside, and Cornette gets his racket back. 1... 2... 3! COLE The Midnights have won it. BUFFER The winners of the match, the New New Midnight Express. On the outside, Cornette blasts Dr. Steven with the racket. Back in the ring, Ned with a SLINGSHOT SUPLEX. Simon climbs to the top. VEGOMATIC (flying legdrop). The Midnights stomp the living hell outta of Pigley until THE GLOBAL PARTY XCHANGE run out with STEEL CHAIRS. WHOOM! COLE Out go the NNMX. Scotty & Johnny throw the chairs at the direction of the NNMX who, luckily for them, moved out of the way. The board of directors have to -- have to -- sign a match between these two. The fire, the hatred -- sign this match, please. The NNMX kept beating Dr. Steven, trying to make a point well after the match was over. Thank goodness GPX came to the Love Doctors' aid. GPX are still upset about what happened to them last week -- the brightest night in their careers, winning the tag titles -- at the hands of Jim Cornette's New New Midnight Express. Scotty demands a microphone. SCOTTY Hey, bitches! We don't want a piece of your ass. We want the whole damn thing. Let's do it right here, right now. COLE Scotty & Johnny are inviting the New New Midnight Express into the ring. They want their revenge right now. CABOOSE What fools. Don't they remember they're defending the tag titles next week against Hell's Hitmen? How foolish of them risking injury by calling out the NNMX. The crowd boos the NNMX viciously as they enter the ring. The Midnights stand face-to-face with GPX, talking trash to one another until JINGUS & The Sadist -- HELL'S HITMEN -- the #1 contenders to the tag titles, jump GPX from behind. JINGUS lifts Johnny up by the head -- CLAW SLAM. The Sadist puts Scotty on his back...TORTURE RACK BACKBREAKER! Jim Cornette is directing the attacks, telling Hell's Hitmen exactly what to do, as his Midnights join in. It's a double-team beatdown on the champions. Simon with a SLINGSHOT BACKBREAKER on Scotty. This unique alliance -- if you even want to call this an alliance -- are working over Scotty's injured ribs. Cornette & Ned bring a table into the ring. Blanchard & Singleton set it up. Cornette jumps up-and-down, ordering Hell's Hitmen to execute their powerbomb-clothesline off the top rope finisher. They do just that -- VAYA CON DIOS (Go with God) through THE TABLE. Jim Cornette places the new OAOAST tag titles over the shoulders of Hell's Hitmen, who just stare at them, while repeating "We have a deal" over and over again. The Midnights hold up the old tinted blue title belts. COLE OAOAST officials finally come out and restore order. It's well-known they want nothing to do with Hell's Hitmen. The intimidation factor they have is huge. Which is why their "working agreement," if you will, is puzzling. (Go to break)

(Return from break) *Big Machine by Velvet Revolver cues up as the fans begin to boo. Christopher Cain steps out onto the stage sporting a bruised face from his fight with Rick last week. As Cain walks down the aisle some fans heckle him, but he swings his arm like he’s going to backhand them and the shy away.* COLE Did you see him almost hit a fan!? CABOOSE He was just scaring them Cole. Lighten up! COACH I’d be afraid if I were them. *Cain steps into the ring and trash talks with some ringside fans* BUFFER Coming to the ring, from Washington D.C., weighing in at 245 pounds, he is part of The Machine…CHRISTOPHER CAIN!!!!! COLE Cain is 6’5” and physically intimidating. We all saw what he did to Leah Blackstone! CABOOSE She shouldn’t have been at the arena to begin with! *The music dies out and is replaced by Tear Away by Drowning Pool. The fans cheer as Rick steps out and slaps hands with the fans. Rick is wearing his X Title around his waist, but as he reaches ringside he takes it off and hands it to a ring attendant. Rick is reluctant to enter the ring so he walks around for a second.* BUFFER Coming to the ring, from Houston, Texas, weighing in at 210 pounds, he is the X-Division Champion…RICK EDWARDS!!!! COLE I just noticed that Cain is out here alone. CABOOSE I guess he’s taken this personal after last week and wants him to himself. *Rick slides into the ring and waits in a corner as the ref calls for the bell* *Ding Ding Ding* Cain waves for him to come on, but Rick stays in the corner and waves Cain on instead. Cain smirks at Rick and runs into the corner for a Big Boot to the face, but Rick ducks under it, bounces off the ropes, and hits a Leg Lariat to Cain as he turns around. Cain stumbles back, but he regains his balance and Rick sighs in frustration. Rick grabs Cain’s arm for a whip, but Cain won’t budge. Rick tries again and Cain just laughs before pulling Rick into his arms, hooking him, and hitting an Exploder Powerslam that shakes the ring! COLE My God! Instead of going for a cover Cain pulls Rick to his feet and Gorilla Presses him above his head. Cain walks around the ring with him before tossing him face first into the corner for a hard Snake Eyes! Rick bounces off and stumbles back right into the arms of Cain again! CABOOSE This should be fun! COACH Not for Rick it won’t! CABOOSE Exactly. Cain lifts him onto his shoulders for a Samoan Drop, but Rick shifts his weight and pulls Cain down with a Crucifix Pin! 1…No!!! Cain easily kicks out and makes it to his feet at the same time as Rick. Rick fires off a punch, but Cain just shakes it off. Rick fires off a left and a right, but Cain just shakes both off and smiles. Rick then bounces off the ropes and hits a Low Dropkick to Cain’s knee and Cain goes down to one knee. Rick then quickly goes for a Shining Enziguri, but Cain actually grabs him, lifts him up, and hits a hard Spinebuster! CABOOSE I told you this would be fun! COLE You scare me sometimes. CABOOSE You scare me all the time. *The crowd bursts into a “Cain Sucks” chant* As Rick stands again Cain whips him to the ropes, but Rick comes flying off of them with a Forearm that stuns Cain. Cain stumbles back to the ropes and Rick hits a Clothesline that sends both men over the top rope. Cain hits the floor, but Rick skins the cat back into the ring and quickly climbs to the top rope. Rick then waits for Cain to stand and comes off with a Diving Tornado DDT! However, Cain catches him and slams him back first into the ring post! Rick falls to his knees with his back arched in pain as Cain steps back and tries to kick Rick’s head back into the post, but Rick moves and Cain’s foot hits the post hard! Rick rolls out of the way and then slides back into the ring. Cain comes up limping a bit as the impact of his foot on the post jammed his foot. He then limps around ringside as the fans laugh at him. Once again he takes a swing at one of them, but opts to yell at him instead. Inside the ring Rick sees his opening and bounces off the ropes before diving backwards over the top rope with a Suicide Moonsault!! COLE Whoa! That’s a new move for Rick! He must have learned that from Parka’s old trainer! COACH Or from watching AJ Styles matches. Both men go down hard to the floor, but Cain softens the landing for Rick. Rick pushes himself off the ground and looks to the crowd for a reaction as they stand and cheer Rick’s new attitude. Rick then climbs to the apron and turns his back to Cain as Cain stands up. Cain reaches his feet just in time to see Rick come off the ropes with an Asai Moonsault. As Rick lands on him he wraps his feet around Cain’s head and takes him over with a Leg Scissors Takeover! Cain hits the mat with a shocked look on his face as Rick pulls him up and slides him into the ring. Cain doesn’t stay on the mat long, but as he stands Rick hits a Springboard Sunset Flip. 1…2…No!!! COLE Rick has got Cain completely thrown off his game! I guess his lessons with Parka’s trainer really have paid off! I heard he has been going back to him since License to Pin. CABOOSE He’ll screw up eventually. COACH Great attitude. Cain kicks out and stands up with a look of rage on his face. Rick runs at Cain, but Cain hooks him and hits a hard Sidewalk Slam! CABOOSE Told you he would screw up. COACH Well it was a good game plan up until that point. Cain stands up and shakes the cobwebs out before yelling at Rick to get up. As Rick stands Cain grabs him for a Spinal Cracker, but as he pulls him up Rick reverses it into an Armdrag! Cain is up quickly and looking even more pissed as Rick runs in and hits a Dropsault that sends Cain stumbling into the ropes. Rick is up again as Cain regains his balance, but is still on the ropes, so Rick leaps at him for a Cross Body that would take him over the top rope. However, Cain manages to catch Rick and in one quick move he tosses him over his head and to the outside! COLE Fall Away Slam over the top rope! *A small “Holy Sh*t” chant starts in the crowd* COACH Damn Rick hit the floor hard! CABOOSE Maybe it knocked some sense into him? Cain looks down at Rick and laughs as Rick lays motionless on the floor as the ref exits the ring to see if Rick is okay. Cain then exits the ring and kicks at him to see if he’s conscious as the ref tells him to leave him alone. Cain just shoves the ref aside and tells Rick to stand up. Rick starts to move so Cain pulls him to his feet and whips him hard into the ring steps! Cain wastes no time in pulling Rick to his feet and then hitting him with a Pumphandle Powerslam on the outside! COLE That’s it…he’s gotta be broken in half. CABOOSE Or he is just broken up inside. Either way this match is Cain’s match now. Cain laughs at Rick again as Rick slowly crawls across the floor and tries pulling himself up by Cain’s pants leg. Cain looks down at him with a look of disgust before grabbing him and setting him up for a Powerbomb! COLE Not on the outside! CABOOSE Yes on the outside! Cain goes to lift him, but Rick reverses it into a Back Body Drop onto the hard floor! As Cain goes over Rick falls back down to his knees to rest for a second as the fans cheer. Rick stands and calls for Cain to join him, but as Cain stands Rick hits a Drop Toe Hold that sends Cain face first right into the ring steps! Cain’s face hits on the side of his bruise and Cain lets out a painful scream! CABOOSE His face! Rick is trying to destroy that beautiful face! COACH Beautiful face?? The ref, who is still on the outside, walks over to Rick and warns him about using the ring steps, but Rick just ignores him. Rick then pulls Cain to his feet and slides him into the ring before waiting on the apron for him to stand. Rick then springboards off for a Tornado DDT, but Cain catches him in a Rock Bottom position and hits the Spinal Cracker! Rick’s back arches upon impact in a very sharp manner as Rick lets out a painful cry of his own. COLE My God the way his back bent was unnatural! Rick lies on the mat in pain as Cain gloats over him to a chorus of boos from the crowd. Cain then flips Rick over onto his stomach and drops a few elbows across his back before jumping into the air and coming down with a Double Stomp onto Rick’s back! Rick tries to cry out in pain, but he can’t because the air was driven from him. Cain then pulls him back to his feet and hoists him into the air with an Electric Chair Drop! CABOOSE That’s a long way to fall when you’re on the shoulders of a 6’5” man! Cain signals for the end and then pulls Rick up and places him on his shoulder for the Quick Death (Sitdown Tombstone). Rick struggles his way out and grabs Cain’s head on the way down for a Falling Reverse DDT. Rick then goes for a cover. 1…2….3!! No!!! Cain kicks out. COLE I thought Rick had it! COACH Me too! CABOOSE I’m not stupid like you two so I knew he didn’t have it. Rick pulls himself up using the ropes, but you can tell his back is sore. He then waits for Cain to stand, but as Cain stands he digs in his pocket and pulls out something. Rick goes to grab Cain and gets blasted in the head with a chain covered hand! *Ding Ding Ding* COLE What the hell was that for!? Cain then pounces on Rick and begins beating the hell out of Rick’s head with the chain covered hand. The ref tries to restrain him, but Cain just knocks him out with the chain before going back to Rick’s head. CABOOSE I think Cain is going to make Rick’s face look like his own! COLE I think you’re right. This was never about winning; it was about making Rick suffer! Cain pulls Rick’s head up and we see that it’s covered in blood as Cain takes the chain and wraps it around Rick’s head. He wraps it a couple of times so that it is around Rick’s mouth and eyes! He then pulls back on it while planting a foot between Rick’s shoulder blades and Rick cries out. The chain muffles the sound, but you can tell Rick is in pain as Cain pulls back hard! COACH Damn!! That’s just messed up! Cain unwraps the chain and begins whipping Rick right to the face with it as more officials flood the ring and restrain Cain! Cain tries to fend them off, but there are too many of them. One of the officials pulls Rick out of the ring as the camera gets a close up of his face. Rick is bleeding from the forehead and nose as he is helped to the back. Inside the ring Cain smiles as he accomplished his task. COLE Cain never went for a pin once in this match and if it weren’t for Rick throwing him off his game early this match may have ended this way a lot sooner. CABOOSE Cain is a hitman and he doesn’t care if he wins or loses as long as he can maul someone! BUFFER The winner of the match by way of Disqualification…RICK EDWARDS!!!! *The fans cheer for the decision, but quickly boo as Cain lifts his arm in victory with the chain wrapped around his fist and blood trickling down his hand.* COLE Folks, we've got something going on backstage! (We’re taken to the Saints locker room where the boys are engaged in a heated argument. Both men are still in their flamboyant wrestling gear and Synth is holding an ice pack to his head. In the background Krista’s expertise tape Get fit with KID is playing in a VCR.) SYNTH Synth’s already explained it! LOGAN Explain it again and quit talking in third person, moron SYNTH This’ll be the fifth time, eh. LOGAN I always wanted quintuplets. I’m kindly giving you the opportunity to make your story more believable before I use your face as toilet tissue. SYNTH Christ, be easy, cheesy. Candie took the Synth-o-rama... LOGAN Talk like a normal human being! I’m not asking you to, I’m telling you to! Got it, cheif? SYNTH Shit. Candie took me to a bar, she brought...I mean she bought me a few drinks I thought she was just loosening me up so she could take me back to the hotel and slob on my knob. She was making me feel like J-Kwon, all tipsy. I thought I’d get up and dance like a gypsy. But she kept asking me all these damn questions and shit. Shit about how me n’ you met, how the band was formed, all that VH1 shit. I thought it was cool cause’ she’s into the whole rock star shit and she’ll put out easier, but then she started asking questions about Alix and shit, and it was like I already had like six or seven drinks and my tongue was looser then yer mom’s pussy on New Years Eve so she asked me all these questions about Alix and I just started answering them and I was drunk and shit so who knows what I was talking about but I didn’t know she was tapeing it and everything got all fucked up and yeah. LOGAN That may have been the longest sentence in the world. Periods and commas are your friends. They won’t hurt you. What happened next? SYNTH Then I got up to dance and I passed out and fell through a fucking table, next thing I know I’m in a motel chained to a bed post and some dude named Keith’s trying to cut my eye balls out to sell on the black market. LOGAN (slamming his hand against his forehead.) Amazing! Sweet Jesus! You messed it up this time, old friend. SYNTH There’ll be other title shots. (Logan shoots Synth an icy glare.) LOGAN Ch! Not with new teams debuting every week there won’t! I don’t even care about the stupid titles to be frank ! That’s not my problem. My problem is that you messed up a good thing with Krista and Alix. Things were going great until you lost the ability to keep your dick in your pants and thought you were gonna score with Zack Malibu’s girlfriend! SYNTH Woah woah woah! Rewind this tape, Captain Delusional! Gimme some of what yer ass is smokin’, cause’ it must be some of da good shit! Krista wrote a story about wanting to chop your wee-wee off, not like she’d have an easy time finding it! That don’t sound like going fine to me! That girl hates you! Things were only going fine with me n’ Alix not you n’ Krista. The Synthmeister was like a ninth grade science experiment...getting results! While he was makin’ moves yer bitch ass was busy writing gay poems about that she beast, Krista on yer stupid ass internet diary... LOGAN It’s called a blog! SYNTH It’s called a diary, fag! Ya want someone ta blame, turn yer ass around and look in the mirror, shit stain! LOGAN(muttering) I should’ve left this stu... SYNTH What’s that, eh? This bullshit again? You gonna threaten to leave the Saints again? Go ahead, ass wipe! Where ya gonna go? Ya gonna go back to singing Springsteen covers at the same seedy lounge in Vegas I rescued yer ungrateful ass from? That whatcha gonna do? Have at it! Cause’ Synth’s got news for ya. Ya ain’t shit. He writes all the songs, the lyrics, the instruments, everything. Yer nothing but a fucking puppet! Yer Kermit the frog and he’s Jim Henson! Ya think ya can’t be replaced? Think again, shit head! I got a list a mile long of pretty boy singers looking for their chance at the big time. I punch the digits in my celly and yer ass goes the way of the New Radicals. Adios hombre, school’s out for the summer. And here’s another thing for ya marinate on; I’m the one who got us the damn tag team title shot. I sat in Watt’s office for three hours, tellin’ him how we earned a title shot after comin’ in second in the poll last week. I’m the one who organized the entire damn concert last week! I got a pianist I found a bass player, Synth hooked up the rights to sing the song so we wouldn’t get sued and on top of all that I got Sarah McLachlan to play even though it was at the last fuckin’ minute! So if ya wanna play the blame game, then play it with yerself. I’m sure that’s something yer used to playing with yerself by now, eh. (Synth gets up to walk away from the battle zone) LOGAN Where the hell are you going? SYNTH Ta think. LOGAN About what? SYNTH How ta fix a problem I didn’t even create. We wanted groupies.....we’ll get ‘em. LOGAN Okay. I’ll stay here and try to sweep up the shattered remains of my self respect. (With that Synth limps out of the room and we go somewhere else) The cameras cut to a shot of Josh Matthews, standing outside a door labeled "Chris Stevens: 24/7 Champion." CABOOSE Who the hell gave him THAT sign? COACH Heh, it definitely wasn't me! Caboose and Coach get into a slapfight as J.Math knocks on the door. VOICE "Come in." Matthews opens the door and steps in. Chris Stevens is sitting on a bench, lacing up his left boot. The 24/7 title belt is sitting to his right (lacing up ITS boot...psych, belts don't wear boots). Stevens looks up and smiles. STEVENS Hey, Josh, come on in. Stevens ties his laces and stands up to look Matthews in the eye. MATTHEWS Thanks, Chris. First of all, congratulations on your win last week. STEVENS Thanks, Josh. MATTHEWS Of course. Chris, as you know, there's been a lot of talk recently about the past transgressions between you and Hoff. I'm curious if you had any additional comments to add? Stevens laughs and shakes his head. STEVENS You guys don't quit, do you? No, Josh. I've said all I care to. Stevens leans over to sit back down, but Josh interrupts. MATTHEWS Well, do you at least have any comments about what Hoff had to say earlier? Stevens freezes, then slowly stands back up. STEVENS ....And just WHAT did Hoff have to say? MATTHEWS Well, he said that...he said that.... STEVENS Spit it out, Josh. I've heard it all before. MATTHEWS Well...he said that he beat you for the Northern Pro Wrestling Title...and that you took your ball and went home. Stevens' face goes grim. STEVENS Yeah. I've heard that one before. Listen, Josh...don't believe anything he says, okay? That bastard can't keep the truth straight for one second. Stevens grabs his belt and brushes past Matthews, heading for the door. MATTHEWS Hoff also said that when you left, Northern Pro almost went bankrupt. Stevens, facing away from the camera, stops. He stands still for a moment, then lowers his head, audibly sighing before pushing open the door and storming away. The camera centers on Josh. MATTHEWS Um, well....I guess it's back to you guys. *cut to Triple C~! on the Sofa* CABOOSE Yeah, thanks for the help, Ace Matthews. COACH Stevens sure left in a hurry! I wonder how much of what Hoff said is true? COLE Maybe nothing, as Stevens says, but he did seem a little shaken up! I wonder if there isn't some validity to Hoff's claims! CABOOSE Of course there is! Hoff is a shining beacon of-- COLE Oh, stop. Folks, we've still got that great main event tonight -- Stevens versus Hoff for the 24/7 Title! Plus a hell of a lot more! More HD in three~! (Go to break)

(Return from break) In a world full of posers, phonies, and wannabees, there finally emerges a group which has come to set the record straight. So, all you suckers better recognize, ya heard can you say uhhh na na na na COLE & COACH Awwwww yeah! Green strobe lights flicker on and off near the entrance stage as GPX’s intro video plays on the giant screen hanging over the entrance way. The doors slide apart and Johnny “Jam” Jackson and Scotty Static step out in the arena where they are greeted with an exceptionally large pop from their legions of fans! COLE Global Party Xchange...what a team! These guys don’t wrestle for the money or the glory, they wrestle for the love of sport. And that love paid of huge last week with a big victory over Black T for the tag team titles. It really did my heart god to see GPX squeeze out a win over Black T after all they’ve been through. These guys are something special, no matter what the petty and jealous Midnights do they can’t take that way from them. CABOOSE Blah blah blah. How can you be proud to have our tag team division represented by such vulgar peons? This team is a joke, their victory last week was a bloody fluke! They’ll never amount to a hill of beans! They’re just a second rate version of Hardy Boyz without all the goofy body paint. And how can you call the Midnight’s petty and jealous? Since when is having dedication and a drive to be the champs considered petty? Wearing matching neon green baggy pants, the boys walk down the entrance ramp, showing off their belts and high fiving the fans in the front row. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a time limit of thirty minutes, it is for the OAOAST world tag team championships! Now making their way to the ring they are the newly crowned tag team champions...JOHNNY JAM JACKSON, SCOTTY STATIC.....GLOBAL PARTAAAAAAY EXCHAAAAAAANGEEEEEE! The two champs slide into the ring. The lights turning his body a shade of green, Scotty climbs to the rope and holds his treasured belt high into the air. He flashes a grin before jumping back to the ring. Johnny takes off his throwback Kirk McLean Canucks jersey and tosses it to a lucky little autistic girl in the front row. COACH What a class act! These guys are so great. Scotty Static takes hold of a microphone. The music cuts out as he prepares to speak. SCOTTY Wassup, Vancouver! New tag team champs in the hizzzzzzzouse! The crowd responds with a “GPX” chant. SCOTTY Yo, yo, yo. We goin do this right, big V! When I say “GP” you say X! Ya’ll ready? Les do this! GP! “X!” “GP!” “X!” “GP!” “X!” “GP!” X Hey! Wait! I’ve got a new complaint COLE What the? The speakers explode with Nirvana’s classic song of abuse, “Heart shaped box”. The music shatters ear drums across the arena and effectively ends GPX’s little crowd participation exercise. As the song fills the air with unrestrained contempt the entrance doors slide apart and the Saints step out into the arena. Both men bang their heads to the Seattle based group’s hit song as mutlicolor spotlights travel around the arena at a dizzying pace. CABOOSE This should be good. If you remember the Saint’s first pay per view match was against GPX, that resulted in Logan and Synth getting squashed like a bug. Also the Saints first case of crabs came as a result of the devious plan hatched by the GPX. This match is purely a result of the Saints finishing second in last weeks OAOAST interactive poll. Both men wear sparkling gaudy gold robes with the words Saints written in pink on the back. Logan’s robe is closed, but Synth is open to reveal a bootleg Pearl Jam t-shirt. Synth’s also wearing a blue and orange “Cat in the hat” hat. Logan’s left hand is covered in a glittery silver glove that’s long suspected to be “loaded.” They strut down the entrance ramp, giving GPX menacing glares while fluffing their gorgeous hair. COACH After last week, we know that the Saints can hack it on stage, at least when Sara McLachlan backs them up. But can they hack in the ring? And what about what Synth said about Alix? She must be crushed! I better get backstage and comfort her. Dr.Deepak Chopra says that performing lap dances can soothe the soul and lucky for her I have a few dollar bills burning a hole in my pocket. HOLLA! BUFFER And the challengers....from the Sin City.....Logan Mann.....Synth Esizer...they are heaven on earth....they are the SAAAAAAAAIIINTSSSSSS! The announcement gets a chorus of boos (The Saints have never been big sellers in Western Canada). They shed their ropes before rolling into the ring. Synth drops to a knee and holds his hand to heavens, while Logan stands behind him playing the air gutair. Blue pyro shoots off from the ringpost while gold and pink sparkly confetti rains down onto the entrance way. COLE The Saints call themselves the greatest “Rock N Wrestling” band of all time, but we’ve seen them do more rocking then wrestling. Here’s their chance to show us that they’re one of the elite teams in the tag division. Despite their second place finish in the OAOAST interactive poll, I think they’re more of a middle ranked team by the OAOAST brass. A spot or two higher then Alix and Krista, but lower then the likes of Hells Hitmen and the Midnights. I think you were right on the money, Caboose, when you said that the title shot they’ve gotten is a direct result of the interactive poll. Synth joins Scotty Static on the ring apron, leaving Logan and Johnny to start the match. “Heart Shaped Box” cuts out and the ref calls for the bell. COLE This match is underway. CABOOSE However could you tell? Lock up to start. They don’t stay locked together for more then a few seconds as Logan goes behind Johnny boy. He drops to his knees and grabs a hold of Johnny’s legs, taking them out from under him and dropping the fan favorite to the mat! The rock and roll icon jumps to Johnny’s side and swings his arm around his head trapping him in a side head lock! Logan doesn’t even get a chance to tighten his grip around Johnny’s melon, as the party animal picks himself off the mat with the headlock still applied. COACH Pimps, am I off base when I make the statement that the OAOAST has the best tag team division in wrestling? COLE Absolutely not. The level of competition has really picked itself up over the past couple of months and as a result we’ve seen some spectacular matches! Johnny shoves Logan off him and into the ropes! Logan hits the ropes hard and his partner makes the blind tag. Logan comes back with a clothesline! Johnny ducks underneath it only to stand up into a missile drop kick from Synth! The fans show a begrudging display of respect for the Saint’s teamwork. Logan and Synth exchange smiles as they watch Johnny Jackson’s head bounce off the mat and snap into the air in a violent motion. As Johnny struggles to his feet, Synth darts behind him and hooks him into an inverted face lock. Johnny smacks Synth across the face with a back hand in a desperate attempt to break the hold. The blow proves futile as Synth refuses to let go! He hooks Johnny’s tights then lifts him into the air. He falls backwards, brutally spiking the back of Johnny’s head into the mat with what’s basically a high impact inverted DDT! Johnny rolls over onto his stomach, holding his head with one hand and pounding the mat in pain with the other. Synth holds his hand to his ear ala Hulk Hogan and is greeted with numerous jeers and taunts. Appalled at the lack of respect, Synth waves his middle finger at the crowd. COLE Absolutely uncalled for. The fans pay their hard earned money, they have the right to cheer and boo who they want. Someone needs to tell Synth that. Without the fans he’s nothing. Johnny slowly stands up and finds himself locked into position for a pump handle slam! Synth flashes a grin before lifting Johnny into the air and slinging him on his shoulder. But before Synth can do any serious damage, Johnny slips out of the move and lands behind Synth! He grabs Synth into a full nelson but finds himself mule kicked for his troubles! Synth spins around and gets a stunned Johnny into an underhook. He leaps into the air and drives Johnny head first into the canvas with a double arm DDT~! Johnny’s head bounces off the mat, and his body jerkily flops over onto its back. “BOOOOOOOO” say the crowd. CABOOSE Synth may have done a fair amount of damage to Johnny’s head with that move. Synth snears at Johnny as he brings him to his feet. He stuffs him between his legs, then picks him up for a pile driver....A large pop emanates from the stands as Johnny avoids a disastrous move by reversing it into a back body drop! The pop quickly dies out as Synth reverses the back body drop into a roll up! 1 Johnny reverses Synth’s pinfall into one of his own! 1 2 Synth gets a shoulder up! Both men rise to their feet. Johnny gets Synth into a front face lock, then sweeps his leg out from under him, driving him backwards to the mat! Johnny stands up, shows off his lady killing smile and triumphantly throws his arm in the air as the crowd showers him with cheers! He turns his attention, to Synth, who while slightly dazed has made it to his feet. Johnny dashes over to Synth and wraps his arm his head. He leaps into the air and spins him around for a tornado DDT! Synth counters the move by wrapping his arms around Johnny’s waist, sticking out his knee and dropping Johnny balls first across it! COACH Do you think Synth knows that Alix has heard what he told Candie? CABOOSE Doubtful. He was probably too busy talking strategy with Logan to pay attention to what was happening on the show. When he gets backstage he’s in for a rude awakening. And I ain’t talkin bout no neckbreaker. Clutching his unit, Johnny stumbles sideways. He grits his teeth and tries to push the pain out of his mind. Unable to prevent Synth from going on the attack he can only stand helpless as Synth smacks him in the jaw with a left hand! “Watch the closed fist!” Referee Okari Tanaka orders Synth. “Watch this, bitch!” Synth shouts back as he gives the ref the one finger salute. Synth smacks Johnny with another closed left hand! Spit flies from Johnny’s mouth as the blow connects with his mouth! The move stuns Johnny and he staggers backwards holding his hurt jaw. Synth is able to grab onto Johnny’s arms and he shoots him into the ropes. Synth expects to smoke Johnny with a lariat, but Johnny has a radically different idea! He drops down and slides into Synth’s legs, taking him down with a soccer player like slide tackle! Synth smacks the mat with his face turning the world in front of him into a blurry haze. CABOOSE Let me tell you something right now,. The tag team division will never be anything more then “average” as long as GPX hold the belts! I’d rather go back to the days when the titles were rarely defended then see these queens as champs. We need Black T to be the champs again! There’s two men you can respect! Chants of “GPX” rain down from every corner of the building as Johnny Jackson makes the tag to his partner in pimp’n Scotty Static! Static hops over the top rope and gets right on Synth’s case with forearm after forearm after stinging forearm! With the Vancouver crowd still chanting “GPX”, Static backs Synth into the corner. Synth breathes a sigh of relief as Static halts his forearm assault. However, his moment of peace is short lived as Static unloads a barrage of flesh tearing knife edge chops on him! Each chop turns Synth’s chest a different shade of red. Desperate to lessen the pain that’s being inflicted on him, he tries to turn his back to the attack, but Scotty grabs onto his arm and holds him in place. Eventually, Static leaps onto the Synth’s beat up chest and monkey flips him towards the center of the ring! Synth flies head over heels and lands on the mat with a THUD. Unable to brace himself for the impact the back of his head bounces off the mat. Static crawls over to Synth and hooks his leg for a pin... 1 2 KICK OUT! COACH Hey! This match is now officially longer then the first one these two teams had against each other. I think that’s a major achievement for the Saints. Static grabs a fist full of his adversary’s hair, causing Synth to plead “Watch the Synthmaster’s hair!” Ignoring his pleas for mercy, Static lifts Synth onto his shoulders so that the rock and roll “legend” is facing the ceiling lights. Static wraps his arms Synth’s torso, then drops to his knees, throwing his adversary off him and SLAMMING him back first against the mat! The impressive move draws a nice pop from the sold out crowd. COLE That’s called a thunder fire powerbomb. Static goes for a pin, but before the ref can even think of counting, Logan storms into the ring and boots Static in the head, knocking him off Synth. Both men rise to their feet. Static gets up quicker then Synth and as such gains the advantage. Static takes hold of Synth’s arm and propels him to the corner! Synth’s back smashes against the padded turnbuckle and his head involuntarily jerks forward. His problems continue to mount as he spots Static charging towards him for a corner avalanche! At the last possible second, Synth pulls OAOAST referee Okari Tanaka in front of him to serve as a human shield! Static’s body ends up COLLIDING with Tanaka’s head as he sandwiches the zebra between himself and Synth! Tanaka staggers forward then falls face first to the mat in a heap! CABOOSE Stupid referee! Some body needs to buy these clowns body armor. With the official turned into a useless pile of flesh and bones, the inmates take over the asylum! Logan runs into the ring and nails Static in the back with an axe handle smash! He wraps his hand around his Static’s neck but before any damage can be done Johnny Jackson comes from out of nowhere and NAILS~! him with a running neck breaker eliciting another “GPX” chant! Synth, seeing his partner go down, shakes off a few cobwebs, then tries to DECAPITATE~! Jackson with a lariat! Unfortunately for him, Jackson ducks and Synth whiffs on the move! He turns around, fully intending on flooring Jackson with a discus punch but his rival is one step ahead of him and KNOCKS him to the mat with a drop kick! Every fan in the arena is on their feet chanting the name of the OAOAST tag team champions! The chants come to a crashing halt when Logan SMACKS Johnny in the jaw with a super kick! The blow twists Johnny’s upper body sideways and he crashes to the mat, ugly pants and all! Logan wears a smirk as he watches Johnny roll out the ring, hands covering his hurt face. The smirk on Logan’s face disappears as quick it appeared, when Static grabs a hold of him and dumps him over the ropes! A look of horror possessing his face, Logan goes flying to the outside to join Johnny Jackson! COLE I hope order can be restored soon! CABOOSE Keep dreaming, Cole! The crowd starts to murmur as their heads turn towards the entrance way. The murmur suddenly changes to a loud pop as we see Alix Spezia run down the ramp with a chair in her hand and her broken heart yearning for revenege! CABOOSE Uh-oh. She can’t be out here! Coach, go stop her! She’ll ruin everything! I’ve got money on the Saints! I’m ruined! Neither, Scotty Static nor Synth Esizer pay any mind to cheers of the crowd. They completely fail to notice that Alix has run down to ringside. They’re to busy trying to beat each other into submission to notice the world around them. They take turn exchanging hard right hands, neither man giving an inch and neither man getting the upper hand. With each connecting blow, sweat flies off their face and lands in a small puddle on the mat. Synth is finally able to get the advantage when he blocks Static’s punch with one arm and whips him with the other! NO! Static reveres the whip attempt with one of his own, sending Synth into the ropes! CRAAAAAAAAAACAAAK! Alix leapt onto the ring apron, growled in fury, and with all the strength her tiny body could muster, DRILLED Synth in the back with a brutal chair shot! Synth staggers forward clumsily, his eyes start to water and painful tremors rip through his back as if it was being torn apart by an earthquake. The pain splits apart, part of it moving to his legs and another to his throbbing head. He struggles to stay on his feet, momentarily forgetting where he is. Howling out in misery, his usually cocky snarl gives way to a look of sheer agony. Static wastes no time in rushing towards Synth and hooking the inside of his leg for a pin attempt. Tanaka shakes himself from his stupor and makes the count! 1 2 3!!!!! The fans loudly express their satisfaction with the outcome as the ref calls for the bell! Their cheers are so loud that despite having a microphone that’s hooked into a state of the art sound system, Michael Buffer has to shout to be heard! BUFFER Your winner and still tag team champions....GLOBAL PARTY XCHAAAAANGEEEEEE! Alix walks backwards up the entrance ramp, keeping her eyes that burn with a savage rage locked on a fallen Synth. A vindictive smile slips onto her face as she savors his confused and anguished expression. COLE Alix is too nice to be a wrestler. She could’ve made that much worse for Synth! COACH How do you figure? She cost him the match and the titles and she definitely ain’t givin up the digits now! COLE I don’t know....If that had been me, Synth would be deep throating a chair leg right about now. Belts firmly fastened around their waists and their theme song celebrating their victory, GPX exits through the crowd only stopping to pose for pictures with the finest women Vancouver has to offer. COACH Anyway! Congrats to GPX for a successful title defense. The first of many to come, I hope. CABOOSE Either way I don’t think they’ll be making any more against the Saints. That’s the second time the boys from Vegas have blown it against GPX. I don’t think they’ll get a chance to make the third time a charm. (Go backstage) The cameras cut to a shot of Hoff, standing at a cooler, in his ring gear, sipping a bottle of water and appearing to be in deep thought. Suddenly, "Macho Man" Randy Savage approaches him with a mic! MACHO OOOOOOOOOH YEAH~!!! DIG IT!! HOFF (rolling his eyes) Christ. MACHO Not quite, brother, it's just the MACHO MAAAAAAAN, OOOOOH YEAH~! HOFF, brother, I got to ask you. WHAT is the DEEEAL with you and CHRIS STEVENS OOOH YEAH?! SNAP INTO IT!! HOFF ......look, Randy. I'm really not in the mood to talk about it, okay? I'm trying to-- MACHO OOOOOOH NOOOOOO IT'S NOT OKAY BROTHER, OOOOH YEEEEAH!! The PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW!! What's up, what is HAPPENING, BROTHER~?! Hoff's head drops and he grabs his forehead. HOFF Randy, if I tell you something, will you GO AWAY? Mach appears to contemplate this for a second, rubbing his beard and waving one finger in the air, pacing around like a loon. MACHO Uhhhhhhhhh....ummmmm.....OOOOOH YEAH, BROTHER!!! So WHAT'S THE DEAL?!?!? Hoff sighs. HOFF Randy, it goes like this. Up in Northern Pro, I beat Chris for the title, and he said it was a fluke. I gave him a rematch, and.......he beat me, okay? He pinned me in the center of the ring, one two three. I admit to you, like him or not -- and I can't stand the man -- Chris Stevens is maybe the best I've ever been in the ring with. But the fact is, I beat him again -- again. And he couldn't handle it. He snapped-- MACHO SNAP INTO A SLIM JIM OOOOH YEEAAH!!!! HOFF ...and he took his ball and went home. A murmur passes through the crowd at this. COLE Is Hoff serious? COACH He looks serious! Hoff sighs again as Macho plays to the crowd that isn't there. The crowd that IS there laughs. HOFF And if it wasn't for me, once he left, the whole place might have gone under. So there you go. That's why I hate him. I learned my craft up at Northern, and he almost killed it. And ever since then, he's done nothing but try to ruin my good name. I went to Japan, and there was Chris. I came here, and he followed. I'm sick of it, and tonight I'm gonna end it...for good. MACHO Wow, WHAT A BOMBSHELL BROTHER!!! OKAY BOYS I'M GONNA GO FIND THAT PUNK HOGAN!! BACK TO YOU OOOOOOOH YEAH!!!! DIG IT!!!! Macho wanders off as Hoff walks down the hall in the opposite direction. *cut to da S.C.* COLE Wow, do you really think? CABOOSE I do! That's totally believable! COLE Well, of course YOU buy it! I'm not so sure... COACH Yeah, Stevens seems pretty level-headed to me! CABOOSE The crazy ones always do! COLE Well, in any case, we'll keep looking for more answers as we go on tonight! But we've got more action ahead! (Go to break)

(Return from break) (The Angletron picture turns to static) COLE What the? *Suddenly a message appears in white letters on a black background that reads, “The following message is brought to you by Williams & Horn: Attorney’s at Law.”* COLE Oh now what!? CABOOSE Shhhh Cole! *The picture changes to a shot of Robert “Father” Edwards sitting behind a desk flanked by JAE and Cain as the fans boo.* ROBERT Good evening. I hope you all are enjoying the show and I won’t take up too much of your time. COLE Good. CABOOSE Will you shut up!? ROBERT I have a message for Rick Edwards. Son, I don’t think you understand how much your actions this past week hurt me. I offered you a chance at a good life and I was willing to put everything that you did to me behind us. COLE Everything he did to him!? What about the stuff he did to Rick!? ROBERT You chose to defy me once again and now I can say in front of all these people that I have no son anymore. I hereby disown you because you are nothing but an ungrateful little snot who is an embarrassment to my name! *JAE laughs in the background* ROBERT J. Arthur tried to convince you that you were making a mistake as well and you basically spat in his face. That is why it is time. J. Arthur hereby challenges you to a match for your X-Division Title at AngleSlam. You see we work on our time now. No one will face a member of the Machine unless we say it is so. You do not dictate when things will happen; we dictate when they will happen. Rick, incase you have any ideas of trying to get at me, that will never happen. I gave you the chance to be at my side and you turned it down. If I choose to face you then and only then will it happen. *Father leans back in his chair and smiles* ROBERT As I said before we dictate when things will happen and tonight Rick you will be in a match against a man who has a little score to settle with you. It seems Cain didn’t take too kindly to having a door slammed on his face and he wants a little match with you tonight. *The camera pans back and we see that Cain has a bruised face and black eye.* ROBERT This time there will be no glass cases and wooden doors to use against him. You will have to face him head on and he is mighty pissed. *Cain smirks at the camera* ROBERT I have one last thing to say before I end this message. There is someone with whom I have a score left unsettled. COLE What is he talking about? COACH I don’t know? CABOOSE If you’d shut up you’d find out! ROBERT Judas…I still remember our match. You thought you had finally found your “redemption” so to speak? Well what goes around comes around and even though I cannot wrestle in an OAOAST ring because of that match I will still get a bit of revenge. At AngleSlam you will face Christopher Cain and if you think of running off again to hide like you did after beating me then we will find you. So enjoy the rest of your night and remember…The Machine is in control. *The screen turns to static again* COLE Ominous words from The Machine, but we now have two more matches for AngleSlam! CABOOSE Will Judas wrestle again? I thought he had given up wrestling? COLE I don’t know. I guess we will find out at AngleSlam. COACH AngleSlam will be off the chart! (Go backstage) ::Pan to a very tired looking Crystal walking down the hall. A couple of the backstage crew greets her and she half-heartingly greets them back while going towards her locker room. She pushes the door open, switches the light on, and is met by none other than AXEL, sitting in a chair.:: AXEL Crystal. Long time, no see. CRYSTAL Adam, I'm tired. Now please leave. I’m really not in the mood. AXEL What’s the matter? Aren’t you excited to be in your hometown tonight? I’d think you’d be jumping for joy. CRYSTAL Sure, I guess. AXEL You guess? Well don’t you sound excited to be alive. CRYSTAL (getting annoyed) What is with this small talk? Just go away, leave like you did a couple of months ago. ::The room in silent for a couple of moments save for the rustle of Crystal unpacking her bag.:: AXEL (shaking his head) I thought you were stronger than this Crystal. I thought you were capable of doing this. CRYSTAL What? AXEL You let Zack take your fire, just like that (Axel snaps his fingers to emphasize his point). You're not half the competitor you used to be dear. You're letting one failure rule your entire existance. CRYSTAL Adam, I’m warning you… AXEL You certainly aren’t the Crystal that took me bell to bell at Anglemania. The Crystal that took the Twenty-Four Seven Title away from me... CRYSTAL I swear, if you don’t shut up… AXEL Looks like I was wrong last week. I said that Zack was taking you too lightly, that you could beat him. I never knew you would just give up after being knocked down once. I never knew you were such a quitter. CROWD (in backround) Ohhhhhhhh! COACH He didn’t go there! Tell me he didn’t just go there. CABOOSE No quoting wrestlers from the OTHER company, dumbass. ::Crystal slowly turns around to meet Axel’s glare, and if looks could kill, she’d be a serial killer.:: CRYSTAL I’m the quitter? I’M THE QUITTER? Who the HELL are you to talk, mister I-took-my-ball-and-went-home? I’m not the one that did some hocus pocus crap and then ran to Australia! And your punk ass didn’t even have the goddamn decency to tell people you claim to care for where the hell you were. Where were you when AJ broke his back, Mr. Dark One? Whoopee freaking do, you visited him in the hospital a couple of weeks ago! Coloured me impressed! Christ, even SLY, someone AJ was only remotely friends with for a couple of weeks visited him! How dare you come in here and chastised me on being upset over not winning the belt. How dare you question my strengths and guts! At least I didn’t ran away from MY problems and run with my tail tucked in between my legs halfway across the world! AXEL Whereas you are running away from your fears, I was running towards mine. I fixed my problems, now you have to fix yours. I knew you'd need me some time. As for AJ, he understood, as would you if you had a clear mind. CRYSTAL I never asked for your help. Now I'm warning you, get the hell out of my dressing room, or I'll remove you myself. ::At this point, Axel and Crystal are nose to nose. Axel glares hard at Crystal, and…laughs?:: CRYSTAL What the hell are you laughing at? AXEL (still smiling) Now there we are. Looks like you just found what you were missing, and thats a little bit of anger, a little bit of darkness... CRYSTAL Oh fuck off. There was nothing to be found. Just because I am fustrated over not winning the belt, even though I didn’t even lose the match, doesn’t mean I lost my fire. Do you know how infuriating to me it is to not have that belt, but never being fairly defeated or being defeated at all? I didn’t win, but neither did Zack. ::Crystal pauses and thinks for a second.:: CRYSTAL …neither did Zack. Zack never won. AXEL Now, we see the light... CRYSTAL (interrupting) I’ve got to go and do something. ::Crystal quickly leaves but turns around when Axel calls her name.:: AXEL Do what you have to do. I'll be in the shadows, whether you like it or not. ::Crystal glares at Axel for a second and leaves the room as we fade to black.:: (Go to break)

(Return from break) "They won't be able to take comfort in knowing they put on a helluva match. It's the titles or bust. There's no positives if you don't win this match." -- "Cowboy" Bill Watts, OAOAST Chairman * DING DING DING DING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to HeldDown, and our main event of the evening sanctioned by the OAOAST board of directors and the state athletic commission, for the professional wrestling tag team championship of the world! Introducing first, the challengers... SCOTTY STAAATIC... JOHNNY "JAM" JAAACKSSSON... Global Party XChange! LAST WEEK OAOAST TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH No Disqualification The Global Party XChange vs. Black T An assortment of strobe lights flicker down upon the set and ring, the arena explodes as the Global Party XChange -- Scotty Static & Johnny "Jam" Jackson -- appear... carrying skateboards... They point to the nose-bleed section where the fans up there have a huge banner reading "THE PARTY STARTS TONIGHT" with a hand-drawing of the tag titles draped over GPX's shoulders. Scotty & Johnny hop on their skateboards and zigzag to the ring, high-fiving each other in the process, and slapping hands with their fans. BUFFER Their opponents... "The Ice Heart" Dan Black... T-Bod... OAOAST tag team champions of the world, Black T~! Black smoke fills the entranceway... 50 beautiful women, stretching from ringside all the way to the entranceway, holding the flags of almost every major nation, surround the ring... standing by the steel steps are two lead ladies waving Old Glory (U.S. flag) & the Union Jet (U.K. flag). The black and white smoke dispurses, out come the OAOAST tag champs... Dan, wearing his black trench coat and shades, asks T-Bod to spin around... showcasing his $25,000 diamond studd red robe, with T-Bod written in rare rubies on the back. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, are you ready? Then, for the thousands in attendence, and the millions watching live on TSM...L-L-L-LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE! Black T & GPX look at each other from their respective corners. Buddy you’re a boy make a big noise Playin’ in the street gonna be a big man some day You got mud on yo’ face You big disgrace Kickin’ your can all over the place A slap-fest ensues between Dan Black & Scotty Static. Back-and-forth they go, taking turns. Scotty takes control, rocking Black with rights and lefts. Dropkick sends Black back down. Back bodydrop. T-Bod comes in, and he's quickly taken down with a backdrop. Johnny 'Jam' Jackson joins his partner in the ring. They double clothesline T-Bod outside the ring, the momentum nearly sending Scotty outside as well but he skins the cat. Dan charges Scotty... who backdrops him up-and-over! Over the top onto T-Bod outside. Johnny's swinging Scotty around like a ragdoll...SUICIDE DIVE! He spun his partner around and then threw him between the middle rope, crashing into the champs. We will we will rock you We will we will rock you T-Bod counters a right with a back suplex. No, JJ flips over the top...low blow...FULL NELSON SLAM~! JJ to the corner... BIG SPLASH. Buddy you’re a young man hard man Shoutin’ in the street gonna take on the world some day You got blood on yo’ face You big disgrace Wavin’ your banner all over the place Scotty with a moonsault from the bottom rope. Another from the second rope. Scotty goes back to the top for a third moonsault. No he didn't. MOONSAULT LEGDROP~! He backed flipped, but instead of landing on his stomach onto his opponent he flipped and executed a legdrop. Scotty tags in Johnny, waiting on the top rope. CANNONBALL~! Another quick tag. SHOOTING STAR PRESS~! Dan with the SLINGSHOT BRAINBUSTER on Scotty. We will we will rock you We will we will rock you ENZURGI~! T-Bod staggers around the ring before falling between the top and middle rope, his head hanging out. Johnny with the "313" (Rey Mistero's 619)... WHAM!... capped off with... SPRINGBOARD SOMMERSAULT HURRICARANA! 1... 2... BAM! Dan throws a chair at the charging Scotty Static. With the eye of the tiger, Black grabs the chair and starts beating the hell out of Johnny. The chair shot: a universal language. It's translated the same everywhere: pain. The edge of the chair is repeatedly driven into JJ's midsection. Black opens the steel folding chair. BLACK CRUSH (suplex into powerbomb)! 1... 2... 3! NO! Scotty with a BIG SPLASH off the top, but he overshot Dan and ended up smacking his head across one of the chair's legs, immediately busting him wide open. Buddy you’re an old man poor man Pleadin’ with your eyes gonna make you some peace some day T-Bod pulls A LADDER out from beneath the ring. T-Bod places it in the corner. Scotty's thrown chest first into the ladder. T-Bod repeatedly slams Static's head across the steel rungs of the ladder, working over that wound over his left eye. Black T lift JJ up for a double-team POWERBOMB...ON THE LADDER and ON TOP OF SCOTTY~! Scotty can barely stand up, jelly-legged. Well, Black T has a situation to his problem. T-Bod has Scotty set up in the OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE... Dan off the ropes -- 3-B, BLACK BODY DROP, ON THE LADDER~! Another 3-B for Johnny "Jam" Jackson. You got mud on your face You big disgrace Somebody better put you back in your place Dan with the cover... Crowd counts along with special referee Sir Miles Manchester. 1... 2... J.R. He kicked out! He kicked out! He kicked out! Goddammit, he kicked out! Dan holds up Johnny... T-Bod squeezes Johnny's checks before swinging for the fences. DOWN GOES DAN! T-Bod looks in horror as Scotty, with a chair in hand, looking like he just walked off a George Romero movie due to all the blood on his face and white retro Spud Webb jersey, gives him a sinister smile. T-Bod cocks his chair back but Scotty hits him with his chair first, sending T-Bod's chair right back at him. GPX place Dan's leg between the ladder's rungs. They rock the ladder back and forth. They're going to push the ladder down with Dan attached! He's holding off for dear life. GPX jerk the ladder harder and harder, obviously a ton of experience jerking things off. GOOD GOD! Not only did Dan take the plunge, but he took the turnbuckle with him. The top rope is down! Dan is down! T-Bod is down! Johnny reverse bodyslams Scotty onto the ladder, where Dan is stuck underneath. Not only is it painful for Dan, it is for Scotty as well. T-Bod with a RUDE AWAKENING for Scotty. All four men are down, exhausted from the intense action. We will we will rock you We will we will rock you T-Bod & Johnny fight on top of the ladder. T-Bod gets his head slammed against the steel rungs, weakening him enough for Johnny to... SUPERPLEX T-BOD FROM THE LADDER TO THE RING~! THE RING COLLASPES! 1... 2... 3! "HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!" BALLOONS & CONFETTI fall from the ceiling, FIREWORKS explode... a little of everything is happening inside the arena. The camera pans around catching the reaction of the fans: laughter, tears, sighs of relief. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, history has been made. You winners, and new World tag team champions, Scotty Static & Johnny "Jam" Jackson, the Global Party XChange! THE PARTY HAS BEGUN~! RECORDED EARLIER TODAY OAOAST TOWERS NEW YORK, NEW YORK The Chairman of the OAOAST board of directors, "Cowboy" Bill Watts sits firm behind his desk. Behind him, hanging on the wall is a framed "ANGLESLAM" poster. OAOAST's marketing department well at work there. WATTS Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. What a tremendous night of wrestling we saw last week on HeldDown. But we do have some controversy. As I was flying back to OAOAST headquaters I received an e-mail from one of our agents saying our former tag team champions, Black T, had filed protest, citing rule A8675309: "A wrestler cannot be pinned if he/she is on the ropes." As you know, when Johnny Jackson superplexed T-Bod from the ladder to the ring, they landed on a fallen ring rope, which broked earlier during the match. The board & I reviewed the tape, and while Black T are technically right, I have no choice but to uphold the referee's decision. Rule A8675309 covers a hand, foot on/underneath the rope not if a rope breaks and somebody is pinned on top of it. Is that fair? Well, to be quite honest, it's something the board will seriously considering modifing so we can ensure notthing like that ever occurs again. While that move will surely be unpopular to some, remember this: You don't see the National Football League, the National Basketball Association or Major Leauge Baseball overturning game results. Remember how the United States olympic basketball team got jobbed in the 1972 games? The IOC didn't overturn the ruling. Yeah, they were obviously crooked officials, but the fact remains the IOC upheld the referee's decision. This is a tough, hard-hittin' sport. This isn't track and field or the NCAA. This is the OAOAST. There are winners and there are losers. And Black T were losers last week. However, there is a rematch clause in every incumbent's contract, stating: "...in the event the incoming title holders lose, they have the right to a rematch within 120 days." Black T will get that rematch on Sunday night, August 29, live only on pay-per-view at AngleSlam. But that doesn't mean they'll be facing the Global Party XChange. Because next week on HeldDown they'll be facing the #1 contenders for the World's tag team title, Hell's Hitmen, due to their victory over GPX at our last pay-per-view event. One last word about the tag team division. Last week Jim Cornette's New New Midnight Express attacked the Global Party XChange moments after they won the tag team championship, stealing the belts. Our attorney's sent Jim Cornette a letter demanding the return of the World's tag team titles by 12 p.m. Thursday or face a fine and/or suspension. The deadline came and went, no title belts. So Mr. Cornette & the NNMX have been fined $5,000 each -- but no suspension. The fans pay their good, hard-earned money to watch the OAOAST's top stars and it wouldn't be fair to deny them that honor due to what accounts for as a petty crime. The Midnights are allowed to wrestle and GPX will be awarded new tag title belts. Thank you. The Frankensteiners vs. "Scottish" Scott & "Irish" Danny Boy BUFFER The following contest is set for one fall, with a 15 minute time-limit. Already in the ring, first from Scotland, "Scottish" Scott. His partner, from Ireland, "Irish" Danny Boy. Their opponents... No, that trippin' feelin' you're experiencing isn't because of some drug you took but rather Edgar Winter's "Frankensteiner" rockin' the joint. The Frankensteiners, wearing Ohio State sweatshirts, walk down the aisle. Frankie jacks himself up by slapping his face. Once again, those two fans wearing black jumpsuits and skeleton masks cause a stir, verbally abusing The Frankensteiners until security escorts them away. COACH What's up with that? Those guys have been at OAOAST causing trouble. COLE Fans, please remember to be respectful when attending a OAOAST event. Yes, you have the right to boo and cheer whomever you want but don't go overboard. BUFFER From Oklahoma, Oklahoma, weighing a combined 510 pounds, making their in-ring debut, Frank & Frankie -- the Frankensteiners. COLE Born in Oklahoma, Oklahoma, the Frankensteiners grew up huge wrestling fans. They knew they wanted to get into the business after their father took them to a Mid-South event in the early 1980s. "Cowboy" Bill Watts did with business with their grandfather in the 1970s, so Watts considers them family. But he says that isn't why the Frankensteiners received contracts with the OAOAST. CABOOSE Watts is lying. He gave his kid a job in WCW when everybody knew he sucked. COLE Are you saying the Frankensteiners suck? CABOOSE How the hell am I supposed to know? I haven't seen them in action yet. For all I know, they could be the next Steiner Brothers...or the next Techno Team 2000. * DING DING DING * COLE Frank starts out with "Irish" Danny Boy. Collar-and-elbow tie up. Belly-to-belly suplex. What power showcased by Frank. Stiff clothesline. Man, that has me rubbing my chest. CABOOSE You do that when there's four guys in the ring. COACH Rimshot! Danny Boy with the right hand, countered into HALF-NELSON SUPLEX. Overhead belly-to-belly suplex, followed by another stiff clothesline that sends "Irish" Danny Boy back into his corner where he makes the tag, as does Frank. Frankie is a bit more wild than his older brother, erratic you can say. CABOOSE Erotic? With a name like Frankie, I can see why. COLE No, I said erratic. Frankie's slightly different than us. But a helluva wrestler nonetheless. A lot of fans online have talked about the possibility of The Frankensteiners taking on Hell's Hitmen. COACH I don't even wanna think about a match between those two. The only people who'd be thrilled with such a match are the fans and the morgue. COLE Both teams strengths are their power, with the edge going to the Frankensteiners in the wrestling department. Frankie with a double-leg takedown. He has "Scottish" Scott cradled...modified powerbomb. Belly-to-belly suplex. 1...2...Scotty kicks out. Frankie tags in his older brother. Frank with a knee to the gut. Irish whip. TILT-A-WHIRL SUPLEX. Frank places Scott on his shoulders. Frankie tags himself in, climbing to the top. BULLDOG. "Irish" Danny Boy, sensing the end is near, comes to the aide of his fellow European but gets caught with Frank's FRANKENSTEINER. 1... 2... 3! * DING DING DING * BUFFER Your winners: Frank & Frankie -- The Frankensteiners. CABOOSE As J.R. would say: They ain't gettin' paid by the hour. COLE What an impressive debut for Frank & Frankie. Short match, but it showcased the raw power of the brother duo. They'll be a force in the tag division, no doubt about it. Caboose: Its now time for a special announcement by me. Cole: Its not on schedule... ahhh, I get it. Coach: Is this another one of those whacky Caboose thi... Caboose punches Coach in the mouth. Caboose gets up from the annoucers table and climbs into the ring, microphone in hand. Cole: This is going to be interesting folks... Caboose shakes his head before looking up into the rafters of the arena. Caboose looks back down and has a obviously insincere grin across his face. Coach: Arrgh, thats a scary face. Caboose: We here at the OAOAST would like to thank the 570,000 plus fans who purchased July's PPV extravagansa 'License To Pin' over both days. The OAOAST would also like to apologise to those who had trouble recieving the broadcast. As compensation, the OAOAST will refund those of you who were affected by the problems. If you send your Cable Bill to the address that should be appearing on the screen right now, you will be refunded and as a show of good will, will also recieve a Zack Malibu cuddle toy. Thank you and our sincerest apologies to all who missed 'License To Pin'. Caboose drops the mic, loses the smile, and can be seen cursing. Caboose walks back to the announcers table, sits down and puts his head set back on. (Go to break)