Patty O'Green

Panther/Hand was bad ass! What a match! And the end with Tina was soooooo touching. Papa's done a sweet job of keeping that whole Panther/Bryte feud running strong. The tag team title match was well done as was Sly/Calvin. I liked the ending to the world title match. It came off much better then I thought it would when Zack first told me about it. As the person who thought of the PPV in a prison idea, I must say you all did a lovely job of working the prison theme into your matches. Bravo! What was up with the EOD final? It looked like it was only half finished. Really abrupt. I take it that wasn't supposed to be the whole match. Oh well, nice to see that Hoff won.

Hello.

Yes, but HOW interesting will it be?? We must know! Having just read it, I can say that it will be the most interesting thing on the show.

I was heavy under the influence of recreational drugs when I wrote that match. It's a wonder it even reads semi-coherently. Thank god for my word processor's auto correct. Anyway, good show. I wish I had something profound to add, but I don't (big surprise). The line about Sly's face looking like a vagina was pretty funny as was the whole Crazy Vamps skit. Crystal's promo was a nice counter to the incessant psychotic ramblings of our world champion. Good eight man tag in the main event. I really like the way the division is developing. Also, I wonder if Sly'll cost Leon Rodez has opener at the EOD against Calvin so he has a better chance of facing his old friend in the second round.

We cut out to the ringside, where Jackie Gayda stands in the center of the ring with a mic in-hand. JACKIE Ladies and gentlemen, last week's HeldDOWN ended with one of the most tragic...most...horrific scenes in recent memory...perhaps even in professional wrestling history. Last week "J-Dogg" Johnny Gunn was brutally MURDERED in the middle of this ring by The Hand. It all went down last week at the end of a tag match that pitted Gunn and Panther against The Hand and Chris Bryte. The HeldDOWN logo flashes across the Angletron, and footage from the tag match begins to play on screen. JACKIE There you see it right here, fans. J-Dogg and Chris Bryte are in the ring...J-Dogg seems to have the match well in hand when... J-Dogg runs into the ropes and dives at Bryte with a flying bodyscissors, looking to end the match with his signature "Dogg's Bite." However, before he can complete the move, The Hand rushes in and grabs him by the throat with both hands. The footage freezes right there, and the crowd boos as we cut back to Jackie in the ring. JACKIE Right there you saw it...The Hand grabbing Gunn by the throat, choking him down to the canvas and...well...that was it. Gunn and Panther would win via DQ, but post-match, The Hand refused to release the choke. He relentlessly squeezed the life out of J-Dogg, crushing his throat...causing all types of internal hemorraging, and unfortunately, fans, Mr. Gunn did not survive those injuries. He passed away in the ring...(sighs) we at OAOAST would like to send our condolences out to the Gunn family on this tragic...tragic situation. CABOOSE Yeah. In other words: PLEASE DON'T SUE!!!!!! COLE Will you stop?! CABOOSE No. JACKIE Well fans...it's quite unfortunate that J-Dogg will no longer be with us...but tonight, there are a couple of guys who *are* with us, and the both of them sure as hell have a lot of explaining to do! So, without further ado, I would like to call The Hand and Chris Bryte down to this ring right now! The crowd boos wildly as "It's Goin' Down" starts up over the PA system. The house lights dim, a blue hue covers the arena, and white strobe lights begin to flash upon the entrance. Watch them flee... Watch them flee... Wa...Wa...Watch them flee [hip hop hits] *Scratch**Scratch* ...and you do it like this! The crowd damn near riots as Bryte strolls out from the locker room with The Hand on his heels. Bryte's clad in a dark gray suit and, as always, his trademark shades. Around his left arm is a black band, upon which "J-DO" is printed in white letters. He taunts fans on his way down to ringside as Jackie, from the ring, looks on with disdain. CABOOSE Call me crazy, but I'm sensing a little bit of venom from Ms. Gayda towards Mr. Bryte there. COLE There's a lot of venom directed at Mr. Bryte these days, and not just from Jackie. Just about every superstar behind that curtain was shocked and appalled by what transpired last week. COACH You ain't lying, dude. And it's not like Jackie didn't have problems with Bryte already. You remember what happened the last time she interviewed Bryte. COLE Right. That took place backstage at the Great Angle Bash...just goes to show what type of low life this idiot Bryte is, but never...NEVER in my wildest dreams did I think that we'd see something like what we saw last week. That was absolutely...HIDEOUS! Now at ringside, Bryte and The Hand enter the ring and approach Ms. Jackie. The lights return to normal and the music dies down as Bryte puts his right arm around Jackie. She quickly pulls away from him, fuming. JACKIE Chris Bryte, who in the hell do you think you are?! How dare you...the nerve of you to come out here after what you and this oaf did last week...don't you have any respect???! BRYTE Hey, hey, hey! Cool it, sister! I'm wearing an armband, ain't I? JACKIE Oh, yeah! For...(reads the band) "J-DO"?! BRYTE Woman PLEASE! The way these overpriced armband makers are charging these days, Gunn's lucky to get this much outta me. I mean c'mon...$2 a letter? What kinda highway robbery is that?! The crowd boos wildly in the background, and chants of "CHRIS BRYTE SUCKS" echo throughout the building. Bryte just laughs it off, while The Hand stares ominously into the crowd. JACKIE Well I'll tell ya what, Chris: you and The Hand here had better get used to charges after what went down last week, because the way I see it, the both of you have got some jail time on your hands! (crowd pops) BRYTE Aww! Is that how you see it Jackie? (she nods) And HeldDOWN...is that how YOU see it too?! (crowd pops louder) Well get some new glasses! You see, The Hand and I aren't going anywhere. Nope...not at all! And do you people wanna know why? It's because last week's little...accident with J-Dogg was just that: a sports-related ACCIDENT! The crowd boos once more, and chants of "Bullshit" start up in the crowd. BRYTE Oh no, no, no! It's true alright, and if you don't believe me, just ask the New Mexico State Athletic Commission, because that's exactly what they're calling it! Just ask the Santa Fe PD! That's what they're calling it! (smiles) Ya see--contrary to how the OAOAST's propaganda team has been painting us for the last week--me and The Hand...we're really nice guys! (crowd boos) It's true. See...we don't come down to this ring week after week to hurt people! We don't come out to cause harm. The Hand and I are athletes! We're competitors! We're...by god, we're CHAMPIONS, damn it! We've got the heart of a lion! We've got that unquenchable spirit...that undeniable will to win! And that's all that we were trying to do last week people...we were trying to win! And really, people, you can't fault us for that. I mean...the name of the game is to win at all costs! To pull no punches! It's not our fault that J-Dogg wasn't tough enough to take the beating we dished out. I mean, really, people...this ain't ballet! COLE Aww what a crock of sh-- CABOOSE Now you just wait a minute, Cole! I actually agree with Bryte on this! If J-Dogg wasn't tough enough to take it, he never should've put himself in that position last week. COLE (rolls eyes) Please. BRYTE But of course, you idiots are oblivious to all of that. You listen to all of this OAOAST propaganda...you listen to Cole, you listen to Coach! They paint The Hand and I as bad guys, and of course, you eat it right up! But luckily for us, the good people of New Mexico aren't as gullible as all of you! They were able to see through the lies! See through all the propaganda! They were able just what kind of people The Hand and myself truly are, and they were able to see that the two of us are absolutely, positively, 100% NOT GUILTY, baby! (crowd boos) So no, Jackie, there WON'T be any criminal charges filed against The Hand or myself as it relates to this whole J-Dogg matter. And...oh yeah! Let me take a second to give thanks to my loving Uncle Kev for all of the *COUGH* help *COUGH COUGH* you've provided us throughout this entire ordeal! Thanks again, Unc...*COUGH COUGH COUGH* excuse me! It's a little smokey in here. JACKIE You know, Chris, when I was assigned this job tonight, I was told that you were gonna issue an apology! BRYTE And I *AM* Jackie! I am apologizing! But not for the J-Dogg thing, because, again, it wasn't my fault. If you people wanna blame somebody, then you look no further than the so-called "Champion of Champions." (crowd pops) Yeah that's right, Panther! J-Dogg's death falls squarely on your shoulders! COLE You have got to be kidding me. CABOOSE Oh, he's telling it like it is, Mikey! Preach on, Chris! Preach on! BRYTE You see Panther, you are the cause of this! You are the reason that I've done everything I've done since entering the OAOAST. Because, Panther, rather than admit that your time is up--rather than admit that you'd been beaten--rather than admit that you're just not the guy that you used to be...you had to keep on coming back! You had to keep clinging to a business that has passed you by. Not only that, but Panther, you had to keep sticking your nose in my business! You kept pushing me and pushing me, until you forced The Hand and me to react the way we did last week. Face it, Panther: J-DOGG IS DEAD BECAUSE OF YOU!!!!!!!! (crowd boos) But I dunno why I'm even wasting my breath on you, Panther. You know what I say is true, but you'll never admit it. No! You'll just continue on living in a state of denial; a fantasy world in which you're still a great wrestler--a world in which you're the almighty Champion of Champions, and you can do no wrong. Pathetic. (scoffs) And they have the nerve to ask me to come out here and apologize tonight. Well Panther, the ONLY thing I'm sorry about is that I actually looked up to a worthless piece of trash like you! The crowd boos wildly in the background as Bryte saunters around the ring with a big smile on his face. JACKIE Well...I can see we're not gonna accomplish anything here. Fans, let's take... BRYTE Whoa, whoa! I'm not done! Jackie rolls her eyes as Bryte snatches the mic from her. BRYTE Now Panther, when I laid that challenge out to you a few weeks back...when I challenged you to face The Hand, I was hoping that you'd finally accept the truth. That we'd finally get you to accept that you're just not fit to compete in a wrestling ring again, and I thought that it'd worked. We thought you had gotten the message, but unfortunately, last week showed me that I was sadly mistaken. And it's like I said before: The Hand and I aren't out here to hurt people. We don't enjoy inflicting harm, but Panther, you leave us with no choice. In order for you to see the light, Panther...it appears to me that maybe...maybe The Hand has to make yet another example here tonight. It appears that someone else must suffer because of your stubbornness, Panther, and that someone...is none other...than... JACKIE GAYDA! JACKIE Huh?! *WHAM* COACH WHAT THE HELL?!??! The Hand blindside Jackie with a hard clothesline, sending her straight to the canvas. The crowd begins tossing trash into the ring as Bryte backs away into a corner, grinning from ear-to-ear. COLE Chris Bryte...the son of a bitch just sent The Hand after Jackie...oh no! COACH She's busted, Cole! Indeed. Jackie pulls herself up to her knees, revealing that she's bleeding from the mouth. Suddenly, a bevy of officials rush the ring, hoping to prevent another J-Dogg situation, but Bryte quickly intervenes, taking them all out with a series of martial arts strikes and kicks, much to the crowd's chagrin. COACH This is just like last week, Cole. CABOOSE Yeah. This oughta show her not to mouth off to Chris Bryte. With the officials down, Bryte turns back to The Hand and signals for him to finish her. Jackie tries to escape, but The Hand reaches down and catches her by the throat. The boos grow louder and louder as The Hand forces her back to her feet, with Jackie fighting him as best she can. COLE C'mon, damn it! Don't do this! Bryte...please don't... Tears are streaming down Jackie's cheeks as The Hand tightens his grip around her throat. Suddenly, the crowd's boos turn to cheers. CABOOSE Hey wait a minute...what the-- COACH IT'S PANTHER!!!!!!!!! YES! Panther appears from the crowd with a chair in hand. He hops the barricade, charges the ring and blasts The Hand with a HARD chairshot to the head, causing him to release Jackie. A second shot from Panther causes The Hand to stagger, at which point, Panther makes a lunge for Bryte, *JUST* missing him with a chairshot attempt as Bryte slips out to the arena floor. Panther tosses the chair at Bryte's head then turns back towards the ring, managing to duck a clothesline attempt from The Hand and ROCK him with a superkick to the jaw! He follows up with a hard right hand! Another! The Hand tries a right hand of his own, but Panther ducks, and starts tearing into him with a vicious combo of lefts and rights! To the chest! To the jaw! To the throat! The Hand is reeling, and the crowd comes to its feet as Panther runs to the far side and comes off with a running front dropkick, sending The Hand tumbling backwards through the ropes and out to the arena floor. The fans erupt into a LOUD chant of "PANTHER, PANTHER" as officials and security rush The Hand, preventing him from re-entering the ring. As Bryte and The Hand struggle with officials on the outside, Panther grabs the mic in the ring. PANTHER Is this what you wanted, Bryte?! You wanted the OLD Panther?!?! (chuckles) Well bitch, you should be careful what you wish for, because I'M BACK! (crowd pops) Consider your challenge officially accepted! COLE NO! PANTHER It's on between me and The Hand, and big man, trust me, the strongest hands in the world aren't gonna be strong enough to pull my foot outta your sorry ass! This Sunday night, your ass belongs to me, and when I get done with him, Bryte, you had damn sure better believe you're next. And you can call that a threat--call that a guarantee--but when it's all said and done, you'll know that THAT'S...THE FUCKING...TRUTH!!!!! "State Prop (You Know Us)" hits the PA system as the officials continue to try and hold The Hand back. Panther just glares at him from the ring. COACH What about that?! Panther just accepted The Hand's challenge! COLE This is bad! This is really bad! Panther...he cannot step into the ring with this man! He could get killed in there! I can't believe this! Panther continues to stare down The Hand as Bryte yells at him from the ramp, "You're a dead man, Panther! You're dead!" Panther glares intensely at them both as we fade out. (Go to break) (Return from break) COLE Well, here we go folks, what a match we have coming up- 8 men, 4 tag teams- this is going to be wild. COACH Last week on HeldDown the match between NNMX and GPX descended into chaos after Black T and Hell’s Hitmen interfered. This is the match made by Bill Watts to attempt to restore some order going into Licence to Pin. BUFFER Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is the 8 man Wild Card Tag Match, and is set for one fall. The bizarre mix of “Hit Me Verdi One More Time” scares half the audience, as fire erupts across the stage. BUFFER Introducing first, total combined weight seven hundred sixty two pounds, the team of JINGUS and The Sadist- HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLS HITMEN! J&S stride down to the ring, snarling at the crowd. COLE At LTP GPX will be taking on these monsters, and I don’t envy them at all. CABOOSE It’s going to be a beautiful blood bath. Cue: "Chase" BUFFER And their partners… JIM CORNETTE Take a minute their, Buff! Ladies and Gents, boys and girls, effeminate announcers and monsters, allow me to introduce the NEXT OAOAST Tag Team Champion of the World- the new franchise players, "Sarcastic" Simon & "Narcissistic" Ned, the New New Midnight Express! Cornette leads his men down to the ring, each looking confident if a little worn from the beating Black T laid down upon them last week. COLE NNMX get their shot at gold in just a few days, but they face the most dominant tag team in OAOAST history, Black T. CABOOSE It’s going to be a hell of a match between four real men. Unlike these next guys…. In a world full of posers, phonies, and pure wannabees, there finally emerges a group which has come to set the record straight. so, all you suckers better recognize, ya heard can you say uhhh na na na na… *HUGE POP!* BUFFER Aaaand their opponents, first at a total combined weight of four hundred eight pounds, from HOTlanta Georgia, they are Scotty Static and Johnny “Jam” Jackson , the Global Party Xchange! GPX do their usual dance down to the ring. CABOOSE Last week Scotty got taken away on a stretcher! He can’t be in any shape for this match. COACH This just shows that behind the clownish exterior, GPX have champion hearts. They want to beat Hell’s Hitmen at LTP and get another shot at the Tag Titles, whoever holds them. GPX show no fear in bouncing into the ring and facing down their four opponents. Jim Cornette is talking to Hell’s Hitmen, who don’t appear to want to listen. Cue: “Quiet” BUFFER And their partners, accompanied to the ring by the “Farmer of Champions”, Jivin’ Jim Ross, at a total combined weight of five hundred thirty two pounds, they are the OAOAST Tag Team Champions of the World and are still UNDEFEATED as a team…they are “IceHeart” Dan Black, and his partner T.Bod- BLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLACK TEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! JR and Black T walk slowly down to the ring. T.Bod wears his traditional sparkling robe while Black has his trench coat and shades. JR is topless and waving his man boobs around whilst screaming incoherently at Cornette. COLE Wow, look at JR move! Black T are in the ring, and face up to GPX. COACH This has got to be the ultimate in odd-pairings. Black T and GPX have been at odds since Dan and T.Bod first became a team, and now they find themselves on the same side? This has disaster written all over it. CABOOSE Black T are professionals. All they ask is that GPX try to behave in the same way. GPX offer handshakes to Black T, who look at them in disgust before removing their respective entrance attire and standing on the apron, completely ignoring the NNMX, who glare angrily at their backs. Our referee, Nick Patrick, gets Cornette out of the ring, where he hastily moves to the opposite side of the ring as JR. Ned Blanchard is going to start for his team, and Johnny Jackson takes up the position for their opponents. Scotty Static plants himself between Dan and T.Bod and grins at them both, who look purposefully away. *DING DING DING* Lock up, and Ned overpowers Johnny, pushing him into the NNMX/HH corner where JINGUS immediately slaps on a choke. Patrick counts it off, and warns JINGUS. CABOOSE This could be a long and difficult night for Patrick. Let’s hope he doesn’t get bumped. Ned chops Jackson, before bringing him over with a snap mare and locking on a chin lock. Jackson is too fresh to be held down however, and gets to his feet before throwing a couple of elbows to propel Ned away from him. Jackson runs the ropes and rolls over Blanchard’s back as he drops down. Johnny throws a few shapes behind Ned, until the NNMX member turns and eats a dropkick to the jaw. Ned scuttles back to his teams corner and tags in JINGUS, who steps over the top rope with a snarl. Johnny swallows, but holds his ground, putting up his dukes and glaring at the Devilman. JINGUS steps forward and just shoves JJ down onto his behind. The monster laughs, but Jackson is back up and peppering him with forearm shots and kicks to the calf. JINGUS looks a little taken aback, but when Johnny tries to whip him to the ropes, the Devilman won’t be moved and instead pulls Jackson into him and hits a big belly to belly suplex. COACH Just too much power in that hoss for Jackson to move. He’ll have to take to the air, if he wants to gain an advantage. CABOOSE Well thanks for explaining that to all the foetuses watching, idiot, as they’re about the only ones who might not already know that! JINGUS pulls Jackson up and sends him to the ropes, but JJ ducks the killer lariat on his return and jumps onto the middle rope on the other side of the ring, spring boarding back with a body press- but JINGUS catches him easily! A big pop suddenly, however, as Scotty Static is on the top rope with a missile dropkick to the back of Jackson, which knocks JINGUS down and into a cover! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Jackson pounds on JINGUS, as he brings him into the GPX/BT corner, and looks for a tag. Dan and T.Bod are suddenly in conference with JR, so Jackson has to wait for Scotty to get back from his dropkick and make the tag. GPX perform a double team whip to JINGUS, followed by a double drop toehold and stereo elbow drops to the back of the Devilman’s head. As the referee ejects Johnny, Static lands a twisting leg drop to the neck and follows with a running back senton splash. Cover! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! COLE Not enough to even have Big J in trouble. They’ll need to hit him with much more than that. CABOOSE I don’t even think they have it in them, Cole. GPX are outweighed and outclassed. Static brings JINGUS up, throws a few forearms, and then manages to whip him to a vacant corner. Static runs in with a Stinger splash that connects, but makes the mistake of telegraphing another one, and JINGUS catches him coming with a stiff STO, slamming Scotty hard into the mat. JINGUS tags in to the Sadist, who picks up Static into the power bomb position. As he raises Scotty up however, the GPX member flips out and lands a dropkick to the knee of Sadist. Another dropkick sends Sadist down to one knee, and Static tries a Shining Wizard- but Sadist blocks it. Sadist back to his feet and swings at SS, who evades the shot and nails Sadist with a trio of swift kicks to the midsection. Scotty slaps on an arm bar and brings Sadist over to his team’s corner, where he just SLAPS Dan Black hard on the chest. Black looks horrified at what Scotty just did, but Nick Patrick is counting it as a legal tag and gestures Dan into the ring. CABOOSE I can’t believe Scotty just HIT his own partner! COLE It was the only way to get Black T into the match! They would have sat on the apron and let GPX do all the work otherwise! CABOOSE Well, they do have a Championship match this weekend. It’s not fair they should have to be out here. Dan slams an elbow on the arm of Sadist as Scotty has it in the bar, and then goes to work with European uppercuts that have the Sadist staggering into the ropes. Dan doesn’t let up his assault, flaying the chest of the Sadist with knife edge chops until Patrick counts him off. The chest of Sadist is red from the chops, and he strokes his pecs happily, enjoying the pain. Black shudders at the sight, and backs off as Sadist approaches him. Sadist makes a grab, and Dan pokes him in the eye. The crowd actually pops for this, as some of GPX’s popularity seems to be rubbing off on Black T a little. More European uppercuts, and Dan applies a front facelock before hitting Sadist with a snap suplex. COACH Impressive strength from Dan Black in suplexing Sadist. COLE But Sadist likes it! Indeed, Sadist just gets up from the suplex, a grin on his face. Dan stomps the mat in anger. He beckons Sadist to him, asking him if he wants some more. But as Sadist reaches him, Black grabs him by the trunks and trips him into his team’s corner. A tag to T.Bod, and Black T double team Sadist with boots and punches. Sadist is groggy on the mat. T.Bod pulls Sadist up and hits him with a back suplex and a running Muta style elbow drop. Cover: ONE! Sadist throws T.Bod off him! The Ravishing One looks shocked, and swing at Sadist as he gets up, but the perverse monster catches his arm and hits T.Bod with a Divorce Court arm bar takedown. Sadist wrings the arm of T.Bod as he brings him up and goes to tag JINGUS, but Simon Singelton of the NNMX gets in there first, tagging himself in. COLE NNMX wanting a piece of Black T while T.Bod is at a disadvantage. That’s some solid strategy. Can they win the titles this weekend? CABOOSE There’s no reason why not. These guys are managed by Jim Cornette remember. He only works with winners. Simon takes over on the armbar, wringing it round again, but T.Bod counters to his own armbar. Grinning, T.Bod rolls his hips while Simon grimaces in pain. Tony turns the armbar into a hammerlock, and then hits a body slam with the arm locked in behind. Simon shouts and holds his arm as he gets up, but walks straight into a kick to the gut and DDT from T.Bod. Cover: ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! T.Bod brings Simon up and goes for another hammerlock body slam, but Simon escapes as T.Bod picks him up, landing behind the tag champ and locking on a sleeper! Tony flails momentarily in the sleeper, before countering to his own sleeper. But suddenly Ned Blanchard runs in with a sleeper to T.Bod! Dan Black can’t stand for this, and locks on a sleeper to Ned! COLE That’s a lot of sleep being administered here! JINGUS steps into the ring and grabs Dan off with a full nelson. JINGUS looks about to hit Black with a Dragon suplex, when Black escapes to a waistlock on the Devilman, and hits him with a German suplex! Dan then grabs Ned with a waistlock and pulls him off T.Bod before hitting him too with a German. Black is ejected by Nick Patrick, but he’s done his job as T.Bod has the sleeper on Simon with no interference. This work is undone however, when Simon drops down, hitting T.Bod with a jawbreaker. Simon rolls up T.Bod, grapevining the legs: ONE! TWO! THRE-KICKOUT! Simon pummels T.Bod as he bring him up, but T.Bod fights back and whips Simon to the ropes. Simon slides down, through Tony’s legs and attacks from behind, but T.Bod fires back and whips SS into the BT/GPX corner. Tony runs in with a charge, but Simon jumps aside and T.Bod slams into Johnny Jackson, sending him to the floor. T.Bod holds up his hands, showing it wasn’t deliberate as Scotty Static yells at him. Simon meanwhile rolls across the ring to tag in JINGUS. The Devilman grabs T.Bod from behind and hoists him into a torture rack position. T.Bod escapes quickly though and takes JINGUS down with a lariat. Tony runs the ropes to deliver a running move, but Jim Cornette trips him up! T.Bod turns to shout at JC, and of course falls victim to a SPINEBUSTAH as he turns back to JINGUS. COLE Get Cornette out of here! He’s a menace to matches! COACH Cornette turns the advantage back to his side, but so far neither team has been able to stay on top for long. These are four evenly matched tag teams, there’s no doubt. CABOOSE Except that GPX are by far the worst, of course. JINGUS picks T.Bod up and slaps on a claw for a CLAWSLAM~!, but Dan saves his partner by clipping the legs of the Devilman from behind. Dan then locks his Heart of Ice (Crippler Crossface) onto JINGUS! Sadist runs in, breaks it up, and then lies on the mat, inviting Dan to apply the hold to him! Dan shakes his head and instead drops a knee to the back of Sadist’s neck. Ned and Simon run into the ring to join the action and nail Black with a double clothesline, and then T.Bod gets the same as he rises. NNMX raise their arms in celebration- but suddenly eat boot as both members of the GPX jump in with springboard dropkicks! Nick Patrick is frantically trying to restore order, but GPX and NNMX are slugging it out in the middle of the ring as Dan fights it out with JINGUS and T.Bod and Sadist spill to the outside, firing blows at each other! NNMX get the advantage on GPX are hit them with stereo body slams. Simon heads up to the top rope as NNMX prepare to use the Rocket Launcher onto Johnny Jackson. Meanwhile- KICK WHAM BLACKOUT to JINGUS and Dan kicks him out of the ring. Black jumps onto the apron, climbs up behind Simon and locks in a Dragon Sleeper on the top rope! This allows GPX to get back into the match, and they grab Ned Blanchard, hitting a double team back drop driver that spikes Ned hard into the mat! On the outside T.Bod sends Sadist crashing into the ring steps, and follows with a big Yakuza kick to the head! COLE This is all breaking down now, as I predicted! COACH Oh, what a great prediction, Mikey. Everyone knew it would. Even foetuses! CABOOSE Don’t steal from me. Dan still has the Dragon sleeper on when GPX jump onto the top rope with him! Dan looks shocked as GPX grab Simon away from him and hit a beautiful Spanish Fly on Simon down to the mat. GPX then gesture Dan to follow them down. Black shrugs and jumps off with a diving head BUTT that connects with Simon hard! Cover! Nick Patrick refuses to count! COLE Dan isn’t legal! COACH Who the hell is? COLE Er… CABOOSE JINGUS and T.Bod. Man, get a grip! Black advances on Nick, threatening him, but Patrick isn’t intimidated and shoves Dan away! GPX try to restrain Dan, who in turn shoves GPX away. T.Bod gets back into the ring and gets in Static’s face, and it looks as if GPX and BT’s partnership is crumbling… Dan is about to fire a punch at Static, when Sadist grabs him from behind and lays him out with a half nelson suplex! Sadist is a house of fire, with lariats to Tony, Scotty and Johnny. Sadist throws GPX out of the ring, grabs T.Bod up and hits him with a Tiger Bomb! Sadist then goes outside to get JINGUS back into the ring. COLE Sadist just restored order! Who’d have thunk it? Jim Cornette has gotten the NNMX out of the ring, and they regroup on the floor as JINGUS rolls into the ring and covers T.Bod. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! JINGUS and T.Bod both climb up slowly, and start to exchange blows. T.Bod works over the monster with body shots, but JINGUS fires back with a stiff chops that leave T.Bod staggered. JINGUS picks T.Bod up and hits him with a shoulder breaker. Cover! ONE! TWO! THREE! No! It’s broken up by a leg drop from the top by Johnny Jackson! COACH Well, Sadist tried to restore order, and it lasted 2 minutes… Sadist runs at Jackson, who evades his big boot and hits a spinning heel kick to the head of Sadist, followed by a jawbreaker. But as Sadist falls to the mat, Jackson is caught from behind in a full nelson from Simon Singleton- release Dragon Suplex! Simon celebrates, but turns into an OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE! (Spinebuster) from a semi-recovered T.Bod. Jackson and Simon roll out of the ring, as we’re left with T.Bod and JINGUS once more. T.Bod LOW BLOWS the Devilman and hits him with the Rude Awakening! (Neckbreaker) Cover! ONE! TWO! THREE! NO! Ned Blanchard breaks it up! Ned and T.Bod exchange blows, with T.Bod overpowering his opponent and setting up for a piledriver! Before Tony can crush Ned’s head however, Sadist is back for more and slams T.Bod in the back, making him release the NNMX member. Sadist puts T.Bod on his shoulders, and then drops to his knees, hitting a sit down backbreaker. Sadist doesn’t stop there, getting to his feet to repeat the move, but Scotty Static hits him with a spinning back elbow from the top rope! T.Bod falls to the mat as Static executes a moonsault dropkick that propels Sadist to the ropes. Tony is up, and grabs Ned in a full nelson. T.Bod yells at Static to help him out. Scotty runs the ropes and aims a kick at Ned’s midsection- but Ned escapes at the last minute and Scotty kicks T.Bod in the groin! The crowd roars with approval as T.Bod sinks to his knees. Scotty tries to apologise but seems to be laughing too much… …but the smile is knocked off his face when Sadist nearly decapitates him with a big boot! JINGUS picks up T.Bod and sets him for a PowerBomb as Sadist ascends to the top- Flying clothesline assisted power bomb and JINGUS covers T.Bod: ONE! TWO! Dan dives for the save- THREE! -but is too late! Patrick slaps them out and calls for the bell, perhaps thankful to have this one over. DING DING DING BUFFER The winners of the match, the team of the New New Midnight Express and Hell’s Hitmen! NNMX and Hell’s Hitmen leave the ring quickly, grinning at having come out of the chaos with the win. Dan Black and JR check on T.Bod, while GPX regroup on the outside. COLE I have to feel for T.Bod! CABOOSE C’mon, you can’t possibly know what it’s like. Your manhood doesn’t compare to a man like T.Bod’s. COACH Are you saying you admire T.Bod’s manhood? CABOOSE Take that back. COACH Yes Sir. Black helps T.Bod up, and they leave the ring…coming face to face with Johnny and Scotty! Black starts to hurl abuse at the GPX, who argue back. Jivin’ JR starts to flail a taunting dance in front of Johnny, who doesn’t look impressed. Dan SLAPS Scotty in the face, and the two teams are about to come to blows- When Hell’s Hitmen and the NNMX run back down the ramp and attack! NNMX are swinging steel chairs- CRACK! CRACK! Dan and T.Bod are taken out! CRACK! Tennis racket shot to JR from JC! Hell’s Hitmen slam GPX to the ground, before whipping both members in turn hard into the steel steps. HH borrow the chairs for the NNMX and deliver hard shots to Johnny and Scotty. Satisfied, the two teams leave, with GPX and BT down and out. COACH NNMX and HH just struck a huge blow going into LTP! They must now be considered favourites for their respective matches! COLE One thing’s for sure, it’s going to be brutal, it’s going to be bloody. Folks, we’ll see you this Saturday for night one of the most historic event in OAOAST, maybe wrestling, history, License To Pin: This Ain’t Oz. If you haven’t ordered it yet, good lord do it now, because it’s going to be awesome!

OAOAST HeldDOWN~! Hear: “I Like”. See: opening video. See:..... We go to the arena and we see lots of..... The arena is littered with numerous colorful signs from fans who proclaim everything from their love for Crystal to being the daddy of Calvin’s baby. There’s even a very vocal group of fans in one of the nosebleeds dressed up like Zack Malibu (insert a drag queen joke here). Anyway we’re taken to the announce table where Triple C is ready to roll! COLE We are three days from the most unique spectacle the world of wrestling has ever seen, License to Pin: This Ain’t OZ! Welcome to another edition of sports entertainment’s flagship show, OAOAST HeldDOWN~!! We are live from Oakland, California! I’m Michael Cole, joined by Caboose and.... COACH C-O-A-C- CABOOSE Hey, dipshit; you’re not Fabolous, you don’t need to spell your dorky ass name. Anyway, tonight’s show promises to not suck. Rick Edwards returns from an “injury” to take on my favorite wrestler, SB87. We have eight man wildcard tag team action as GPX and Black T go up against the team The New New Midnight Express and Hell’s Hitmen! Plus the gender gap will be closed just a bit when Synth Esizer teams up with the queen of the tomboys, Alix Spezia in a tag team match! COLE Since when is SB87 your favorite wrestler? CABOOSE Since he slipped me an 8-ball and a couple twenties. We should take this opportunity to note that the champ isn’t in the building. He’s not even in the same city! He’s at Alcatraz Island, training for this Sunday’s big match. CUE: “Set it Off” ::Crystal walks down the aisle with her street clothes on to the ring. She politely acknowledges the crowd, but doesn’t play them up like usual. She swiftly gets in the ring and asks for the mic.:: CRYSTAL Last week Zack Malibu, my and your friend, came out and had quite a rant. CABOOSE Well, he’s MY friend. “ZACK SUCKS! ZACK SUCKS! ZACK SUCKS!” CRYSTAL (after the crowd has died down) Included in this rant, aka temper tantrum, was his disillusioned belief that the fans owe him for all he had given them. I think I speak for all of us here when I call bullshit on that fact. Zack, if anything, you should be THANKING these fans! Without their support, you would just be another faceless wrestler. Ever heard of the expression “Don’t bite off the hand that feeds you”? With your bitchy speal last week, 0only bit off the hand, you bit off the whole damn arm! So to say these fans wouldn’t be here without you is ludicrous, because frankly asshole, you wouldn’t be here without them! And neither would anybody else for that matter! COACH You go girl! CRYSTAL Not that I owe any explanation to you, but two weeks ago, my grandma died of cancer. I know it’s hard for you to comprehend having a family that you love, because you’re a selfish asshole that would steal from his own mother, but I couldn’t leave her bedside. I don’t want to dwell on that though, so let me just refute another comment in you rant last week. I’m a novelty act, am I? A sideshow? A gimmick, perhaps? Someone who is here just to bring the “Girlpower”? A joke? “BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT!” CRYSTAL Well, fuck you, Zack Malibu! I’ve heard ENOUGH of that shit! You want to know what the real joke is Zack? You claiming to be the best when you can’t even beat me without cheating! I mean really Malibu, needing your personal slut to distract the referee, so you can hit me with the belt? For shame Zack! Couldn’t even beat a sideshow act at School’s Out? COLE She’s got a point there. CABOOSE Whatever. The bottom line is, she couldn’t get the job done. CRYSTAL Zack, you are right though. When this company was in trouble, you were, without a shadow of a doubt, the cornerstone. But times are changing Zack. It’s a bit pathetic, really. You are trying desperately to hold on to the control you had over the company. You don’t want to face the fact that not everybody wants to play your way. I’ve got news for you Zack: the OAOAST isn’t your personal fucking puppet show! Whether you like it or not, little by little, your firm grasp is slipping. The puppets are cutting off their strings. Sure, you may control your little group, but no one else is following. The so-called future of this company is rapidly becoming the present, and it KILLS you to see it. You can’t stand people that you despise being the future of the company. A punk kid, like Leon, as the future? Sly, a student of yours that you absolutely hate, as the future? I mean, a girl as the future? That’s just ridiculous, right Zack? People that you don’t approve, being the future of a company that you consider yours? Preposterous! “CRYSTAL! CRYSTAL! CRYSTAL!” CRYSTAL Too damn bad Zack. This Sunday, champ, that future, the one you despise so much, is now. It’s time for the old guard to step down for the new guard. At License to Pin, this “novelty act” takes the most prestige belt in the business, and the puppet master loses all control. ::With that, Crystal tosses the mic down, and makes her way to the back with the crowd cheering her all the way.:: COLE Some powerful words from Crystal there. COACH I can feel it in my bones Mickey! Crystal’s taking the gold on Sunday! Say hello to the new OAOAST champion! CABOOSE Hardly. She talks a big game, but I don’t think she can back in up like Zack can. COLE Only time will tell this Sunday! COACH Peeps, let’s head backstage to invade Hoff’s privacy! We cut to a shot of Eddy Kalm sitting in a makeshift office backstage. Eddy sits uneasily in his seat, shifting, keeping one eye on the door. COLE Eddy Kalm is still not in good shape after that ruthless assault by Christopher Cain the other week... COACH Yeah, but he wants to be here for his friend, Rick Edwards! CABOOSE Sickening. COLE Eddy Kalm displaying a lot of class, looking out for Rick. Eddy starts biting his nails, nervously, when there's a knock at the door. Eddy jumps a foot out of his seat, then gets up, moving away from the door. EDDY Who....who is it? The door opens slowly, and Eddy reaches behind his desk and grabs a foam-covered therapy bat, presumably for self-defense. The door opens wider, and in through the door steps...Hoff! COLE Hoff? What the hell? COACH What's he doing there? CABOOSE Maybe he's here to beat on Eddy some more...heh heh. COLE Would you stop. Hoff steps into the room, looking at Eddy tenatively. Eddy takes a hasty step back, bringing his foam bat into his hands. HOFF Eddy? Eddy shakes as he looks very, very warily at Hoff. EDDY What...what do you want? Hoff takes a deep breath. HOFF Eddy...listen, I need some help. COLE What?! COACH Help? Eddy lowers the bat slightly. EDDY Help...how do you mean? Hoff takes another step toward Eddy, who closes his eyes, flinches, and brings the bat back up...but Hoff simply sits in a nearby folding chair. HOFF Well, see, I've been having some problems. Hoff looks down, waiting for Eddy to respond. Eddy, sllllowly, opens one eye, then the other, and looks at Hoff. Eddy cautiously lowers his bat and sets it against the wall, and takes a seat on his desk. EDDY What...kind of problems? Hoff sighs. HOFF Well...see, I know you've been busy with Rick and J. Arthur, and Parka, but I'm sure you know about the deathmatch tournament this weekend. Eddy, relaxing ever so slightly, nods. EDDY I've heard of it, yes. Rick's in it. HOFF Yeah. Well, anyway, the thing is...I don't really want to be in it. COLE Doesn't want to be in it? CABOOSE Aw, come on, Hoff! Do it for the Thrillogy! Do it for America! COLE You're British! CABOOSE No, COACHMAN is British. COACH I am?! Wow! Cor blimey! Eddy cocks his head slightly, loosening up a bit. EDDY Well.....why not? Hoff looks up at Eddy, then back at the floor. HOFF Well, you see, it's just that....you know....mumble mumble. EDDY Wait, what? HOFF I'M SCARED. CABOOSE .......what. COACH Ha ha! Hoff's scared! CABOOSE QUIET! I'm sure he...he just misspoke. COLE Well he SAID he was scared to be in the tourney! CABOOSE I'm not listeniiiing.... Hoff sighs again and takes another breath as Eddy leans in to listen more intently. HOFF See...I mean, I can deal with wrestling fine. I'm a tough enough guy, I can take bruises, breaks, sprains, no problem. But...but some of these deathmatches...some of them have thumbtacks...and barbed wire....and...and broekn light tubes...and the craziest...I mean, Eddy, that stuff is SICK! I can't deal with that! Eddy nods, mulling over Hoff's words. HOFF And you know, I've got no one to talk to. Calvin, he's all business. "Wrestle, wrestle, wrestle. Let's get it done. Blah Blah Blah." And Zack...I mean, Zack's like my new-found brother from a different mother, but...if I laid THIS on him, I know he'd be disappointed. I mean, hell, I'm ashamed ENOUGH as it is. EDDY Hmm....well, Hoff, it sounds to me like-- HOFF And I mean, it's not like I've never been cut before! I have, you know, I've been in brawls and bar fights. I was a bouncer back in Minnesota, you know. EDDY Yes, well Hoff, I-- HOFF And I can handle myself around blood, I'm not squeamish or anything, I watch that surgery shit on TV all the time, and I saw when my kid sister had her baby, and there was blood EVERYWHERE, although that was a pretty happy time, and-- EDDY HOFF! Hoff SNAPS his head up, causing Eddy to jump back, almost falling off the back of his desk. HOFF I don't know what to do! I mean...I want to win this thing, you know, as bad as I've ever wanted to win anything in my career.... Hoff sighs. HOFF Can you help me? Eddy straightens his shirt and clears his throat. EDDY Yes, well....to me, it seems like your confidence is all right....this is just one irrational fear. So...confront your fear. This Sunday, don't be afraid to get physical. Hoff looks at Eddy, thinks it over, and nods. HOFF Yeah...maybe. I guess I'll have to deal. Hoff gets up, and Eddy almost falls off his desk again. HOFF Thanks, Eddy. You're a good guy, know that? Just stay out of the Thrillogy's way. Hoff smiles and winks as he leaves the room, closing the door behind him. Eddy immediately exhales a sigh of relief. EDDY He thinks HE's scared..... *cut to Sofa Central* COLE Well, what about it, Booze? Looks like Hoff's afraid of the Deathmatch tournament! CABOOSE Nah, no way, he's just playing. He'll win that thing easy. COACH I dunno, Caboose, you sure? CABOOSE Well....maybe Rick will win it. Or Drek! I mean, come on. Anyway, Hoff is fine, stop stirring the pot. COLE Well, fine or not, Hoff will be one of 16 men in this weekend's Emperor of Death tournament at License to Pin! But we've got more ahead right here, so stay tuned!! (Go to break)

(Return from break) (We go backstage where Rick Edwards is in the locker room resting. Parka walks in and sees him sitting there.) PARKA Tough loss tonight. RICK I was just out wrestled. My mind hasn’t been focused on the ring with all this stuff going on, but frankly I just got smoked. PARKA I wouldn’t take it too hard. You can’t win them all. RICK Well now I’m in the Emperor of Death Tournament against these guys. Don’t get me wrong though. Some good old fashioned violence will do me good right now, but I’m not making the same mistake again. PARKA I suppose SB87 will want a title shot now as well. RICK Well I’ve been thinking about that. I don’t really like the guy much, but he proved himself tonight. I love this belt *slaps the X Title* and I love the thrill of competition. If he wants a shot then what better place is there than License to Pin? PARKA You’re gonna wrestle twice? RICK No I’m not. I’m going to put the X Title up for grabs in the Parental Indiscretion 2 Match. It’s been awhile since I defended it and I owe it to those guys not to let my personal life get in the way of good old competition. I’ll put in a request to the Board of Directors to let me put the title up for grabs. PARKA You know what. I have an idea to help you be more prepared for these guys. One of my old trainers lives nearby and you could spend the week with him learning all the crazy high flying moves they do down in Mexico where I trained. Sure you won’t be an expert, but you just need a crash course for this match…no pun intended. If you spend all week with this guy training your guts out then maybe you’ll be able to take these guys. RICK You know what…I’ll take that offer. *Rick shakes Parka’s hand and leaves. Parka is about to leave when he hears something in the shadows.* J. ARTHUR Look at you two…all buddy buddy now huh? PARKA What the hell? Have you been in here this whole time? J. ARTHUR I was going to give Rick a little talking to about his recent behavior, but then you came in and I figured I’d see what you two were saying behind my back. PARKA Yeah…that’s creepy. Speaking of where’s your boyfriend Cain? J. ARTHUR He’s around here somewhere, but I wouldn’t worry about him right now. Maybe you’re the one who should go train a little. If you don’t I’ll walk all over you come Saturday. PARKA I don’t need anymore training. I’m ready to kick your ass right now. J. ARTHUR Sure, but are you ready for that. *Points over Parka’s shoulder* PARKA I’m not falling for that. J. ARTHUR Suit yourself. THWACK!!!! *Cain nails Parka in the back of the head with a chair and Parka goes down to the floor.* J. ARTHUR You should have looked. *JAE and Cain walk off laughing as the camera fades out on a shot of an unconscious Parka.* (Go somewhere else backstage) MEAN GENE "Mean" Gene Okerlund backstage with James E. Cornette and his New New Midnight Express, along with their tag team partners for tonight's Wildcard match, Hell's Hitmen. Gentlemen, tonight you'll be facing the OAOAST tag team champions Black T & the Global Party XChange. CORNETTE Wild card match? Look at who our partners are, Okerlund. Jingus & The Sadist -- Hell's Hitmen. They're so big they make beeping noises when they walk backwards. Unfortunately for Black T, when the pack of cards were opened and shuffled, they got stuck with two jokers in the Global Party XChange, charter members of the Woody Allen dating club. Instead of Soon-Yi, it's Sue-Mi. Haha! But, brother, the Midnights are still upset about what happened last week on HeldDown. Jealous of our tag team superiority, Black T decided to stick their nose in our business. Bad mistake, boys. If there's one thing in life you don't want to see -- it's a pissed off New New Midnight Express. We're so upset right now, we could rip your heads off with our bare hands. But we'll save that for License to Pin, since we'll be able to commit the crime and blame it on some coke-addicted who sliced and diced his wife on their honeymoon. MEAN GENE Jim Cornette, last month at the Great Angle Bash, you bashed Jingus & The Sadist. I belive you called Jingus "a garbage wrestler." JINGUS growls. CORNETTE Now-Now you just hold on a mintue, you wrinkled-up old prune. You misinterpreted what I was saying, brother. Last month I might have said something that could be misconstrued as a jab at Hell's Hitmen. You know how the kids speak nowadays, with their slang, yo-yo-yo, yippe-yo-yippe-a. I was speaking my native slang -- Louisville Slugger across you head if you don't shut up, "Mean" Gene. You ain't so mean, anyway. My dear ol' mama could beat you -- and she's dead. God rest her soul. The New New Midnight Express are teaming up with two men who loving beating the bejeezus outta punks like GPX, and are still angered by losing their only tag title match to date against Black T last month at the Great Angle Bash. Compare the relationships of the NNMX & Hell's Hitmen against the Global Party XChange & Black T's, Gene. Compared to them we're the Society of Friends, singing Kumbaya around a camp fire. MEAN GENE There you have it, straight from the mouth of James E. Cornette. Now let's send it to my broadcast colleauge Jesse "The Body" Ventura, standing by with the Global Party XChange & the OAOAST tag team champions Black T. Jess, it's all yours my friend. Jim Cornette & the Midnights mug for the camera, only to run off as Hell's Hitmen growl. CUT TO: DRESSING ROOM JESSE Thank you, Mean Gene. Jesse the Body here with an exclusive interview with the World's tag team champions... T-BOD Say what? JESSE With the World's tag team champions. T-BOD You said what? JESSE (gleefully) The World's tag team champions, Black T, along with the Farmer of Champions, Jivin' J.R., who'll be involved in a grueling tuxedo match against that pansy Jim Cornette at This Ain't Oz! Oh yeah, the Global Party XChange are also here. JOHNNY Dang, Jess, don't be hatin', bro. SCOTTY Yeah, we don't wanna have to change our vote from you to Hillary in '08, man. JESSE You do that, you're stupider than I thought. Can we get on with this interview, or do you wanna sit here cracking jokes? JOHNNY Cracking jokes. JESSE I'd like to crack your heads, but I'm afraid there's nothing left in there. Anyway, Black T... I gotta ask ya, why did you run in during the NNMX's match last week? I mean, I would of figured you'd want to see both teams beat the hell outta each other -- and that's exactly what they were doin'. I gots to know. DAN If I may field that question. You see, Jesse, Mr. Cornette made an accusation saying we, Black T, had confidence issues. All we were doing last week was building up our self-esteem. Because everybody knows a happy person is a good person, and after we let out all our anger -- in a non-violent way, I might add -- we were happy people. JESSE Dr. Phil, eat you heart out. T-BOD Jess, LTP: TAO is coming up in a matter of days, and while we're fully aware of our title defense, I want to say something to our partners tonight. You guys better get your asses serious because we're here to win -- something you guys have trouble doing when it counts. SCOTTY Lemme tell you somethin', Mr. T, you're not the only team with problems, okay? That's bitch's (refering to Dan) former partner and his new anal buddy kicked out ass last week. He rammed my head into the steel ringpost and powerbombed me, while I took a clothesline from The Sadist, on the concrete floor. Not only did I need 5 stitches to close the wound on my head, but I have a couple of bruised ribs, so the S-Man has only been able to perform orally because any thrusting motion is a little painful. JOHNNY What the Static is saying is, Hell's Nitwit's, this weekend the Party's at your place! And we're gonna trash da frickin' joint, suckas. Then, we're turning on attention to those belts wrapped around you're pretty little waists, fools. T-BOD Don't touch the belts, a-hole! GPX & Black T get nose-to-nose. Jesse gets back. DAN In case you need a reminder, we've beaten you twice. T-W-I-C-E. (sticking his finger in Johnny's face, who slaps it away)TWICE! Both teams continue to stare at each other, as Jesse tosses it back to ringside. JESSE Things are getting heated backstage. Still to come: Hell's Hitmen & the New New Midnight Express vs. The Global Party XChange & Black T in a big 8 man tag. And at License to Pin: This ain't Oz, Black T will defend the OAOAST tag titles against James E. Cornette's New New Midnight Express, while GPX face off against Hell's Hitmen. A night so big, it's being held over two days. July 31st & August 1st, 2004. Three C, I send it back to you. (Back to the arena)

(Return from break) COLE Next up here we have a match that came about because of an altercation backstage last week between the Rave and Assault Squad and Rick Edwards. It seems that the RAS have blamed Rick for interrupting them. COACH Not only that, but it seems Rick Edwards is now the fourth member of the Parental Indiscretion 2 Match at License to Pin! CABOOSE With all the crap going on his life right now he’s gonna get involved in the Emperor of Death Tournament? Maybe someone will shut up his whining finally. BUFFER Ladies and Gentlemen this next match is scheduled for one fall and is a non title match! CABOOSE What? COLE It seems the Board of Directors doesn’t feel that SB87 has done enough to warrant a title shot. I don’t really agree with them, but that is their decision. CABOOSE Well when SB87 beats this whiny bastard then will he get a shot? COLE I don’t know. *Mindfields" by Prodigy starts up and the fans boo as SB87 comes to the stage. The lights go out and multi-colored lights flash to the beat of the music. SB87 dances a little before heading down the aisle and sliding into the ring.* BUFFER Coming to the ring, from wherever he slept last night, weighing in at 136 pounds, SB87!!!! COLE This will be the first time we’ve seen Rick Edwards in the ring since The Great Angle Bash, because Rick has been nursing a hamstring injury. CABOOSE He’s been lazy! He’s not hurt. COLE How do you know he wasn’t hurt? I’m sure after this Saturday and Sunday he will be hurt, because no one will be the same after the Emperor of Death Tournament. *The music dies down and is replaced by Tear Away by Drowning Pool. Some fans boo while a few cheer. The fans are still not sure what to think of Rick. Rick comes out as the song hits the first verse and he slaps hands with a few fans that have warmed up to him.* BUFFER Coming to the ring, from Houston, Texas, weighing in at 210 pounds, the X-Division Champion, RICK EDWARDS!!!! *Rick slides into the ring, but he quickly glances back at the entryway before turning to face his opponent.* COLE How can he focus on this match with a guy like Cain running around? COACH He can’t, and I wouldn’t be surprised to see him come out here tonight. *Rick comes face to face with SB87 and nods to him as a nonchalant greeting, seeing as he probably wouldn’t shake his hand. SB87 just smirks and waits for the bell.* *Ding Ding Ding* The two men lock up and SB87 quickly twists into the wheelbarrow position around Rick’s waist and then goes for a Bulldog. Rick manages to grab onto him and hit a quick Backdrop Suplex to counter and goes for a quick cover. 1 No!!! COLE That was a good counter. CABOOSE He better have a lot of those against SB87. SB87 quickly gets to his feet and both men lock up again. Rick whips him to the ropes and goes for a Back Body Drop, but SB87 twists in the air and lands on his feet behind Rick. SB87 hits a Dropkick that sends Rick forward into the ropes where he leans against them. SB87 then basically walks up Rick’s back and hits a flipping kick to the back of his head before landing on his feet. Rick falls backwards to the mat and holds his head in pain. COACH Ouch! Damn that had to hurt. Rick stands again, but SB87 is there to whip him to the ropes and hits a quick Leg Lariat that takes Rick back down. He then wastes no time in springboarding off the ropes and hitting a Corkscrew Splash onto Rick. COLE SB87 is proving to be a little too fast for Rick it seems. CABOOSE Rick isn’t used to opponents like this. 1 2 No!!! Rick kicks out and SB87 pulls him to his feet and hits him with a European Uppercut that knocks him back to the ropes. SB87 then runs up the ropes right beside him and hits a Flying Headscissors that sends Rick flying across the ring! Rick gets back up a little dazed and SB87 runs in for a Hurricanrana, but Rick plants him with a Sitout Powerbomb to counter the move. COACH There’s another counter. That’s basically the only offense Rick’s gotten this match is counters. CABOOSE He’ll need more than that. COLE Rick with a cover! 1…2…No!!! SB87 kicked out! Rick pulls SB87 to his feet and pulls him right into a Short Arm Clothesline that knocks SB87 for a loop! Rick then pulls him back up, whips him to the ropes, and hits a Running Back Elbow that sends SB87 back down to the mat hard. Rick then quickly bounces off the ropes for a Flipping Leg Drop and goes for another cover. 1 2 No!!! COLE Rick is starting to show a little speed of his own. COACH He’s not a slouch; he just has a different style. CABOOSE No, he’s a slouch. Rick then pulls SB87 back to his feet and lifts him high for a Brainbuster. SB87 manages to break free and land behind Rick before leaping up onto Rick’s shoulders, spinning around, and hitting a Hurricanrana that sends Rick across the ring and under the bottom rope! Rick hits the floor hard as SB87 gets to his feet and runs across the ring. He then bounces off the ropes and performs a Suicide Dive through the ropes to a standing Rick Edwards. Both men go crashing into the guardrail and lay on the floor in pain. *The crowd cheers and some even stand up for the move.* Both men lie still on the mat as the ref starts his count. 1 2 3 SB87 starts to move 4 Rick starts to move 5 SB87 gets to his feet slides half way into the ring to stop the count and then pulls Rick up. He then whips him towards the ring steps, but Rick manages to leap on top of the steps to avoid hitting them. He then leaps onto SB87 for a Tornado DDT onto the hard floor! COLE My God!! He could have cracked that young man’s skull! CABOOSE Now that would have been entertaining! COACH No it wouldn’t. The ref orders both men back into the ring and Rick grabs SB87 before sliding him in. Rick then follows him into the ring and goes for a cover. 1 2 3 No!!! Rick pulls him back to his feet by the head and whips him to the corner. SB87 hits with a thud and Rick quickly follows him in with a Running High Knee to the face! Rick then whips a dazed SB87 across the ring to the other corner and follows him in this time with a Running Splash! However, as Rick comes in for the Splash SB87 gets a foot up and nails Rick in the chest. Rick goes flying back to the mat and SB87 hops up to the top rope. SB87 waits for him to stand before coming off with a Corkscrew Dragonrana! SB87 holds on for a pin. 1 2 3!! No!! Rick kicks out at the last second! COLE What a move!! COACH I actually can’t believe he kicked out of that! CABOOSE I don’t think SB87 can either. SB87 stands up and lays in some stomps to Rick Edwards before pulling him to his feet and whipping him to the ropes, but Rick reverses and hits a hard Dropsault that sends SB87 to the mat right on his head and neck! CABOOSE Can you say whiplash!? COACH Whiplash…it wasn’t that hard. CABOOSE Yeah…you’re a real rocket scientist. The fans cheer the move as Rick rises to his feet and smiles at the cheers he’s finally getting. Rick then pulls a groggy SB87 to his feet and goes for a Hurricanrana of his own, but SB87 shoves Rick off. Rick back flips and lands on his feet, but SB87 kicks him in the gut and sets him up for a Piledriver. SB87 then leaps over Rick, while still holding onto him, and hits the Death Party (Sunset Flip Piledriver)! COACH Whoa!! What the hell was that!? CABOOSE Do you not do your homework? COACH We have homework?? COLE That was an incredible move is what was! SB87 is still groggy, so he is a little slow to make the cover, but he manages to get it. 1 2 3!! No!!! Rick kicks out again! SB87 then climbs back to the top rope, a little slower than before, and goes for the Dope Nose (Corkscrew SSP). As he lands Rick gets his knees up and SB87 bounces off hard. SB87 lies on the mat, holding his gut in pain, as Rick pulls himself to his feet using the ropes. Rick then goes to the top rope and waits for SB87 to stand. As SB87 slowly stands and groggily turns towards Rick, Rick jumps off and catches him with a Diving Tornado DDT! However, SB87 grabs him around the waist before he can hit the move and flings him over the top rope. Rick manages to land on the apron and grabs SB87 by the head. Rick tries for a Suplex over the rope, but SB87 blocks it and goes for a Suplex of his own. Rick blocks the move and snaps SB87’s head across the top rope. SB87 falls back to the mat and Rick climbs back to the top turnbuckle. COLE After a series of counters we’re back to where we started. COACH Maybe he’ll hit it this time! SB87 slowly stands and Rick comes off the top rope with a Sunset Flip! COLE I wasn’t expecting that! He hasn’t done that since the Blurricane days. CABOOSE There’s nothing wrong with breaking out old moves every once and awhile. Rick brings him over, but SB87 rolls through and stomps Rick dangerously close to the groin area. The ref warns SB87, but he claims it was to the gut. SB87 then pulls Rick to his feet and whips him to the ropes. SB87 follows right behind him and hits a Clothesline that sends Rick to the floor. SB87 then runs to the other side of the ring before leaping to the top rope and springboarding off with a Moonsault to the outside! SB87 lands on a prone Rick Edwards and both men lie on the mat in pain. Rick rolls around holding his gut as the fans chant “Holy Shit.” COLE Wow!! SB87 just sacrificed himself to take out Rick Edwards, maybe for good! COACH I’d say it was a bad idea. CABOOSE For once we agree. The ref starts his count as both men still lie on the mat. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 SB87 starts to push himself off the mat 8 9 SB87 uses a burst of energy to slide into the ring and break up the count. COLE I can’t believe he made it in time! SB87 lays half way in and half way out of the ring trying to catch his breath as Rick pulls himself up on the outside. Rick then grabs SB87 by the feet and tries to pull him out, but SB87 shoves Rick with his feet back into the guardrail. SB87 then pulls himself up in the ring and climbs to the top rope, but Rick slides back into the ring. SB87 turns slowly on the top rope to face Rick, but Rick quickly bounds up the turnbuckles and nails the Brain Damage (Enziguri to an opponent on the top rope), which sends SB87 somersaulting back into the ring! COLE The Brain Damage! Rick then pulls SB87 back up and goes for Superman’s Dead! As he pulls him into the Inverted Vertical Suplex position SB87 slips out and catches him with a Falling Reverse DDT on the way down! Both men lie on the mat trying to regain their composure as SB87 is still groggy from the Brain Damage. COLE What a counter! CABOOSE SB87 is just too fast for him! SB87 finally makes a cover. 1 2 3!! No!! Rick kicks out! The fans cheer as the match is not over yet. SB87 gets up and waits for Rick to stand. Rick stands and SB87 runs in, leaps onto Rick’s shoulders from behind, and rolls under him for a Victory Roll. 1 2 3!! No!!! Rick kicks out again!! SB87 starts to show frustration as he pulls Rick back up, runs to the ropes, and springboards off with a Moonsault. Rick manages to catch him and put him in a Tombstone position. Rick goes for a Tombstone, but SB87 shifts his weight and Rick starts to bend back. SB87 ends up with Rick in a Tombstone position and hits his own Tombstone! COLE Another counter by SB87! 1 2 3!!! No!!! Rick kicks out!! CABOOSE I thought that would be it! SB87 then climbs to the top rope and steadies himself, but Rick begins to stand. SB87 then flies off for a Cross Body, but Rick rolls through it. However, SB87’s momentum is too much and he rolls through as well until he’s on top for the pin. 1 2 3!!! No!! SB87 stands and pulls Rick to his feet before whipping him to the ropes. As Rick bounces back SB87 springboards from the other side and hits a Corkscrew Cross Body that knocks Rick to the mat. 1 2 3!! No!!! COLE My God!! SB87 has Rick struggling to stay in the match! Rick looks tired and frustrated as he slowly gets up and turns around right into a Hurricanrana attempt. Rick shoves him off and he back flips down to the mat where he hits a quick Dropkick that sends Rick to the mat. SB87 then climbs to the top rope and gets ready. Rick sees him on the top and goes after him. Rick then goes for the Brain Damage again, but SB87 shoves him off and Rick hits the mat hard! SB87 uses the opportunity to come off the top rope with The Roofie (Phoenix 630 Splash) and hits it!!! COLE Wow!!! This might be it!!! 1 2 3!!! *Ding Ding Ding* COLE What an upset!!!! CABOOSE Whoa!! That was unexpected! COACH Well I’ll be damned! BUFFER Here’s your winner…SB87!!!! SB87 gets up and makes the universal “I want your belt” gesture around his waist. Rick looks up and actually nods upon seeing the gesture. COLE Could we see a title match between these two? COACH Who knows? CABOOSE Rick didn’t know what to expect coming into this match and he was just overwhelmed by the high flying style of SB87! COLE That could be a bad sign for Rick at License to Pin in the Emperor of Death Tournament. Fans don’t go away because we have more to come! COACH Like what? COLE Like, EVERYTHING! (Go to break) (Return from break) We cut to a shot of the back, where Crazy Vampire is sipping a bottle of water. Behind him, we see a figure creeping forward, a stake in his hand, and garlic around his neck. COLE Is that Chris Stevens? CABOOSE He's still employed? Stevens sneaks up behind the Vampire, and DRIVES THE STAKE THROUGH HIS HEART!!! COLE Whoa!! Stevens pulls the stake out and scowls as CV drops to his knees, black blood pumping out of his chest. Vampire curses, then, in a puff of smoke, TURNS INTO A BAT and flies off. STEVENS Damn, I thought that'd kill him. RANDOM PRODUCTION ASSISTANT Yeah, I bet he'll be back, though. Or at least, he could be. Stevens looks to his left uncertainly. STEVENS Who the hell are you? R.P.A. I'm just someone the Board sent over to bring some closure to this angle and let you move along to your next storyline. STEVENS Oh. ...But why would you say that? R.P.A. In case the company ever wants to use the Crazy Vampire character again. Abruptly, Crazy Vampire gets up from off the floor, where he was lying just below the camera's view. CRAZY VAMPIRE Yeah, see, I tested well -- the writers just didn't have anything for me. But they need to leave the door open. STEVENS Oh. Well, that makes sense. VAMPS Yeah. Awkward silence. R.P.A. Well, good luck in the tourney this weekend! VAMPS Yeah dude, give 'em hell! STEVENS Thanks!! *cut to da S.C.* COACH And you yell at ME for breaking kayfabe. CABOOSE That certainly was odd. COLE Mmhmm. But effective. COACH True dat, homie. CABOOSE For sure. Well, um, uh, stay tuned, assfaces! More HD in a few minutes! COLE That's my job! CABOOSE Not anymore. HA~! (Go to break)

(Back to arena) COLE Welcome back to this Special Pre-Pay Per View addition of HeldDown ladies and gentlemen. Now guys, there is one INTENSE~ rivalry that has been a main focus of HeldDown over the last couple of weeks, that being the rivalry of Hoff and Gunner Sharps. Both men are in the Emperor of Death tournament, on opposite sides of the draw. So to get to Hoff, Gunner must go the distance in this tournament, and hope that Hoff does the same. COACH You know Michael this all started back in late June when Hoff faced AJ Flaire for the Twenty-Four Seven Championship, H-Bombing AJ onto the back of a chair, and breaking his back. Ever since then Gunner has been out for Hoff’s blood, and has guaranteed to hurt the Twenty-Four Seven Champion in the name of his fallen friend. It may not be in the Emperor of Death tournament, but these two are certain to meet one on one somewhere down the line. Let’s have a look at a comparison between the two athletes. *The HeldDown logo flashes over the screen as we see a shot of the OAOAST Twenty Four Seven Champion Hoff in all his glory* COLE First, Hoff. The guy has been on a role ever since he came to this company. Starting off as the Enforcer of the Underground, feuding with CWM, joining the Thrillogy, becoming the Twenty-Four Seven Champion, and defending the title against the likes of Axel, AJ Flaire, and countless others. From Minneapolis, Six Foot Five, Two Hundred and Seventy-Five pounds. A dominant presence in the ring, some would say a natural, a blue-chipper. His Spinebuster is one of the greatest we have seen this side of Arn Anderson. His Rock Bottom so devastating, that even the great Hollywood actor himself must admit that he doesn’t do the best version. The H-Bomb, a crippling move, and you only have to take one look at AJ Flaire to see that. And his latest finishing move, a sit out vertical brainbuster known as the Future Shock that took down Gunner last week on HeldDown. Hoff has a move set that everyone envies. He is a guy who has the potential to be the greatest performer we have ever seen in the OAOAST. He reminds many of a young Zack Malibu, or CWM, or Calvin Szechstein when they first arrived here. Natural charisma, natural power, natural technical ability. The guy has it all. CABOOSE That’s why he’s in the Thrillogy guys. COLE And Gunner Sharps. Two words to describe the guy? Raw Power. Seven Feet tall, Three Hundred and Fifty pounds. Animalistic tendancies. The sheer impact of the Sharp End reminds many of a Rhino’s charge. When Gunner connects with the Sharp End, his opponent is lifted into the air and then their head and neck connects with the mat. One of the most agile big men we have seen here. He too is young, and will go far in this company if he sticks to it. When he started out he lacked direction in the Underground, and after leaving the group, he joined with a man who he had partnered with many months before, Axel. Axel harnessed the potential and made Gunner realise that he could be not just god, but great. It may be slightly scary to see the transformation that Gunner underwent under the tutelage of Axel. Gunner has one main thing driving him to defeat Hoff, and that is the image of his greatest friend, a guy he knows as his borther, AJ Flaire, lying in a hospital bed. We interviewed Gunner after the incident a few weeks ago on HeldDown, and he seemed calm, and very upbeat. As soon as Hoff’s name was mentioned, the animal came out. He wants Hoff in the worst way. COACH If you ask me, it’s pretty evenly matched. CABOOSE If you ask me, you are an idiot. Hoff is the rising star in this company, he’s the man. He also has two of the greatest World Champions of all time backing him up. How in the hell can this be evenly matched? COLE That may be the case Caboose, but one on one, the two are somewhat evenly matched, where Hoff has ability and stamina, Gunner has a height and weight advantage. One more issue to discuss though, is the mental state of Hoff at the moment. We have been watching him go insane because of these messages the have been interrupting The Thrillogy, and more directly, Hoff, in the last few weeks. CABOOSE We still have no freaking idea who the hell has been doing this. All we know is what the messages have been saying. You’ve been trying to make sense of this Cole? COLE Well I have only been able to get the following information from the messages: there is a girl involved, and perhaps this person is trying to save somebody he loves. There are also numerous references to ‘Dark’ and ‘Pain’. Make of that what you will. COACH In any event, we now have Gunner Sharps in two on one competition coming up here on HeldDown! CUE: ‘Debonaire’ by Dope Rhino’s old ECW theme kicks in as the fans go BALL-ISTIC for the big man. Gunner walks out to ringside in his orange jumpsuit with ‘GS’ logo, and beats his chest on his way down to the ring. He slides into the ring and starts to unzip his jumpsuit as Michael Buffer announces his arrival. BUFFER Ladies and Gentlemen the following is a two on one handicap elimination match! Introducing first, from Detroit Michigan, weighing in at Three Hundred Fifty pounds… GUNNNNNNNERRRRRRRRRR SHAAAAAAARRRRRRPPPSSSS!! And his opponents, at a combined weight of Five Hundred and Eighty pounds, Johnny and Luke, the SOLO BORTHERS! Johnny Solo, the Three Hundred pound brother, starts off with Gunner. Johnny starts to taunt Gunner before nailing him with a right hand. Gunner fires straight back with a right of his own, sending Johnny down to the mat. Johnny gets up and charges at Gunner but gets knocked down with a clothesline. Gunner goes for a quick cover, but only gets a 1. COLE This is quite a test for Gunner; these two guys are strong and match him in size. Gunner grabs Johnny by the hair and brings him over to the corner, before driving his knee into the abdomen, and following it up with a hard right hand. Gunner sends Johnny over to the other side with an Irish Whip, Johnny reverses, Gunner reverses the reversal, Johnny goes into the corner and rebounds out, Gunner catches him with a big sidewalk slam, goes for the cover… One… Two… No! Johnny kicks out. COACH For everyone at home, the rules of this match are simple. It’s like a Tag Elimination match, but two on one. Gunner has to pin both men to win the match. The Board of Directors thought that Gunner needed a workout before License to Pin seeing as he has only had one match in the last two months. Gunner picks Johnny up again and lifts him up for a Scoop Slam, but Johnny slips down his back and pushes Gunner into the corner, where Luke hangs him up on the top rope. Gunner staggers back, and Johnny comes off the ropes, flooring the big man with a clothesline! Johnny makes the tag to Luke, who comes in and starts peppering Gunner with hard right hands just as the big man is trying to get up. Gunner blocks one blow, and grabs Luke by the throat with both hands, before flinging him over to the other side of the ring, and hitting Johnny with a hard right in the corner. COLE Gunner is holding his own against the Solo Brothers! Gunner puts his hand and signals for a Chokeslam; Luke turns around, and gets caught in a goozle! COACH Luke is going for a ride! Gunner lifts Luke high in the air… but Johnny comes in and nails Gunner in the back! Luke drops down and catches his breath while Johnny lays in right rights and lefts to the temple of Gunner, before joining his brother in the beating. The Solo Brothers both hook Gunner up, and take him over with a double suplex! Luke comes off the ropes and hits a quick leg drop, and Johnny follows him and hits a standing splash! Both brothers go for a cover… ONE… TWO… COLE Gunner might be done! THRRNO! Gunner kicks out! COACH I thought Gunner was gone there. The referee tells Johnny to get back to his corner and he obliges. Luke lifts Gunner to his feet and starts connecting with more right hands and heavy blows. Luke goes for another Irish Whip, Gunner reverses, Luke runs to the ropes, but Gunner catches him by the throat in his left hand! COLE Uh-oh, I think the giant has woken. Gunner lifts Luke up with a Gorilla Press, before dropping him down into a Spinebuster! Gunner runs over and knocks Johnny off the apron again as he heads to the top rope! COACH Look at this athleticism! Gunner launches himself off the top rope and onto Luke with a big splash! The referee counts! ONE! TWO! THREE! *DING* COLE Gunner just eliminated Luke Solo! COACH This is a pre-match workout for the big man! Johnny Solo runs over to Gunner and connects with a big boot to the head, sending the big man down onto his stomach. Johnny runs to the ropes and connects with a leg drop to the back of the head, before going for a quick cover… ONE... NO! Gunner powers out at the count at one, sending Johnny over to the other side of the ring, before getting straight up! Johnny runs to Gunner and connects with a clothesline, but Gunner doesn’t budge! Johnny runs to the ropes again and tries to knock the big man down, but again, he doesn’t budge! Gunner SCREAMS at Johnny to try it again, and Johnny runs back to the ropes, but Gunner floors him with a stiff boot to the face! COLE My God what impact! Gunner faces the crowd and points to the sky, as they go up as one! COACH Nah… he can’t do that; Johnny Solo is Three Hundred and Twenty pounds! Johnny gets up and turns around to face Gunner… and Gunner catches him by the throat! Gunner lifts Johnny up in a Military Press! COLE Oh my God! What power! Gunner holds Johnny up in the air for a few seconds, before dropping him down in the Tortured Soul Slam! Gunner runs to the other corner and crouches, begging Johnny to get up! Johnny slowly makes his way to his feet, turns around, and gets steamrolled by a MOTHER FUCKING IMPACT SPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRR~! Gunner puts one hand on Johnny’s chest! ONE! TWO! THREE! *DING DING DING* CUE: ‘Debonaire’ by Dope BUFFER Here is your winner, GUNNERRRRR SHAAAAAARRPSSS!! COLE What an impressive display by Gunner Sharps, defeating two men! COACH Gunner’s showed just what a dominant player he can be! CABOOSE Hoff could have done that. COLE Nevertheless, we still have more to come here on HeldDown! Stay tuned folks! (Go to break) (Return from break) (Cut backstage to special correspondant Lee Marshall standing in front of a set that's supposed to look like a locker room.) LEE Hey guys, Lee Marshall here on special assignment, as I'd like to bring in my guest right now, a young man competing in the Emperor of Death Tournament, set on revenge for former mentor Calvin Szechstein somewhere in the tournament...Sly Sommers, come on in... (Sly enters the set) LEE Sly...this weekend, you might have a chance to both proclaim yourself as the sickest wrestler in the OAOAST by winning this tournament AND getting revenge on Calvin Szechstein in one fell swoop. Your thoughts? SLY My thoughts? What do you expect me to say, "I'm just a bit cheery, but this cut's got me down?" Lee, you and all of the people out there in TV Land know that I'm not a happy camper these days. Calvin...you've stolen so much from me. You stole my pride when you took away something I worked hard in helping to build in Totally Endorsed. You took away my best friend when you hit Colvid with that car...he still can't walk to this day! You took away my reputation when you beat me at my own game: the European Rounds match. You took away any chance I could have had with picking up chicks with this scar you left on my forehead...it looks like a vagina, for God's sake! Last week, thanks to the damage the previous week, you indirectly cost me the OAOAST Italian Title! This weekend, Calvin...by hook or by crook...I'll cost you blood, I'll cost you your self-proclaimed "natural good looks", and I'll cost you the Emperor of Death Tournament! LEE But what if you two don't end up against each other? It is a random-draw tournament and one of you could lose early on... SLY Trust me...we'll meet. That, I will guarentee. (Sly walks off.) LEE There you have it, folks...Sly Sommers is promising victory AND a meeting with Calvin Szechstein somewhere in the Emperor of Death Tournament, this weekend at License to Pin, ONLY on Pay-Per-View! DIRECTOR CUT! (Lighting goes down a little; rustle is heard in the background) DIRECTOR Hey, Lee... LEE Yeah? DIRECTOR You're fired. LEE WHY? DIRECTOR Look at you! You're Lee Marshall! That's enough reason to cut you. (Marshall waddles away crying.) (FADE SCENE) COACH Poor Lee Marshall. CABOOSE Who the hell is Lee Marshall? COACH The dude who just interviewed Sly! CABOOSE Sorry wasn’t paying attention. I was to busy thinking how pleasant this fed’ll be after Calvin kills Sly in the EOD. COLE Fans, it's only three days until -- Cole is once again cut off as the strains of Sevendust's "Black" fill the arena. COLE God dammit. The lights dim, and Hoff steps out onto the stage, dressed in blue jeans and white Thrillogy t-shirt, with the 24/7 Title strapped around his waist. Hoff surveys the jeering crowd with a grim expression, before patting his belt and raising one arm into the air. The fans boo as Hoff makes his way to the ring, ignoring the fans. COACH I wonder what's on Hoff's mind tonight? CABOOSE You wonder what a mind IS, tonight. And...every night. COACH Good one Booz-- CABOOSE SHUT UP!!! Hoff climbs the ring steps and takes another long look at the crowd, pausing to look back at the AngleTron, before stepping into the ring. Hoff climbs to the second rope in the near corner, playing to the crowd briefly before hopping down and asking the timekeeper for a microphone. COLE Not a lot of fanfare from our twenty-four seven champ tonight, and I can't blame him! Hoff has to have a lot on his mind! Hoff looks out among the fans as his music dies down, soaking in their reaction as he always does, and letting the slightest smile on his face as he delivers the line... HOFF Welcome....to the future. "BOOOOOOOOOOO!" HOFF And I want you all to remember that. Lately, there have been some...some things that have distracted me. COLE Yeah, no kidding! HOFF First of all, I've had to deal with Gunner Sharps. *cheer* HOFF Now Gunner, I know you're all pissed off because I put your little buddy in the hospital. I'll level with you -- I never meant to cripple the punk. But what's done is done, and, if his career is over, that's one less thing that the Thrillogy has to deal with. *boooooooo* HOFF So I'm sorry if your panties are in a twist, big man, but that's just the way the business is. And I know, I know, you've entered yourself into the Emperor of Death tourney, and you've got it in your head that you're gonna kick my ass in the most sick and twisted way possible. Well, Gunner, I don't think a second-rate scrub like you will make it one round in the tournament. And if you DO make it to me, well, rest assured...I'll take care of you before you know what hit you. Hoff pauses and smirks out to the crowd as they boo. COLE Well, Hoff seems awfully confident so far! COACH Maybe he's shaken off some of the things that were bothering him! Hoff's smirk fades as he puts the mic to his lips again. HOFF And as far as this Deathmatch thing goes...... Hoff trails off as the fans begin to cheer. Hoff looks down, his eyes unfocused and far-off. COACH Maybe not! COLE Hoff has certainly not been warm to this whole-- HOFF DAMMIT, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS COMPANY!! The fans EXPLODE!! HOFF I never, EVER wanted ANY part of this thing!! I mean what kind of civilized, technical wrestler wants to get thrown into thumbtacks...or barbed wire...or...or....AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH DAMN IT ALL!!!! The fans cheer, and laugh, as Hoff struggles to gain his composure in the ring. Hoff breathes heavily as some of the red starts to fade from his cheeks. HOFF ....fine....that's just fine. If Zack wants me to be Emperor of Death, fine. I'll go into this horrible tournament...against my will.... Hoff looks up... HOFF And I'll WIN it without breaking a sweat!! *booooooooo* Hoff laughs in the ring. COLE Aw, come on. CABOOSE BWAA ha ha! Hoff totally PSYCHED YOU OUT, Cole! COLE This is ridiculous, I mean...you just can't trust him! CABOOSE I know! It's GREAT! Hoff wipes a mock tear from his eye. HOFF I mean, COME ON!! Me, the future of this industry, afraid of some spikes and tables? Get real! People, take a good, long look. This is the future of this industry. This is what the business is evolving into. You are feasting your eyes on the ultimate blend of speed, strength, skill, and -- let's face it -- sex appeal that has ever set foot in a wrestling ring! There is no one, NO one, that can touch me right now, and the thought of somebody beating me in this ring -- in MY ring -- is insane. I AM THE FUTURE. And I am not afraid of anything. The fans are livid, drowning Hoff in a wave of boos and hisses. HOFF And....and anything INCLUDES a certain "mystery man" who's been downright STALKING me these past few weeks. COLE Give me a break. CABOOSE It's true!! Hoff has been absolutely harassed by those damn messages! COACH You guys, I have an idea who might be behind those-- CABOOSE Whoa, you have an IDEA? Let me write this down. COACH I-- ah-- fine, screw you then. Hoff looks directly at the AngleTron as he speaks. HOFF Now...you might think you've got the edge, mystery man. You might think that you've got Hoff's number. Well, let me tell you something. I think I've got it figured out. I think I know who's behind the mask, and you don't scare me one single bit. And if you think that you can PUSH ME AROUND just by flashing some words on a screen, then you-- AND THE LIGHTS GO DOWN!! A cheer rises in the stands as the two flaming staves appear at the top of the stage! CABOOSE Oh, no, not this again! Hoff can be seen in the faint light, frantically pacing the ring, looking at the AngleTron. The Tron lights up...and displays a dark, shadowy silhouette of a man. MYSTERIOUS VOICE Hoff.... COACH Is that who I think it is?! COLE I...I.... Hoff's eyes are locked on the silhouette on-screen, and he is positively jittery, shaking his head no and mouthing "it can't be". VOICE You and those around you have committed crimes....crimes against humanity....crimes against....her. The crowd pops big at the word "her," and a small "Crystal" chant breaks out across the arena. VOICE And soon...very soon....you will pay for those crimes....in BLOOD. The silhouette fades as a wave of blood washes over the screen -- and the arena goes completely black! COACH Whoa, what happened? The AngleTron goes blank, and the fans shout and scream in the darkness...until the lights come back up! COLE Oh my GOD! In the ring, Hoff stands....COVERED IN BLOOD!!! CABOOSE What the hell is THAT?! Hoff, his eyes horrorstruck, looks down at himself, looking at the red liquid on his hands. Hoff shoots his gaze up the ramp, but the staves are GONE, and the AngleTron is blank. COLE This is surreal! COACH Hoff is gonna pay in blood? Is this...oh my!! Hoff looks at himself again, shaking his head, then looks back up. HOFF YOU SON OF A BITCH!! I'LL KILL YOU, DO YOU HEAR ME? COME TO LICENSE TO PIN AND I WILL *BLEEP*ING KILL YOU!!! Hoff throws the mic down and storms out of the ring, frantically wiping blood off of his 24/7 Title as the fans cheer! COLE Guys, what did we just witness... CABOOSE Cole, I have no idea, but I don't EVER want to see it again. COLE Hoff was...was covered in... COACH He was covered in blood! COLE .........Fans, we'll be right back. (Go to break)

(Return from break) A hard dark green light swamps the entrance way in a dark glow as “Scarecrow Man” kicks up. The entrance doors slide apart and out steps the team of Skull Mask and Skull Kid! Both men walk down the entrance ramp, stopping in the middle to raise their arms into the air while the green light at the entrance way starts to flicker on and off. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the OAOAST is proud to bring to you the following tag team contest! Now making their way to the ring, hailing from the mean streets of Mexico City, Mehico the two most frightening men in the world of pro wrestling....SKULL MASK AND SKULL KIIIIIIIDDD! CABOOSE Once upon a time the Skulls were one of the top ranked teams in the tag division! They were big fish in a tiny pond. A lot of folks thought they’d be on the level of TNT and GPX, but times have changed in the tag team scene. The arrival of The Saints, Chicks Over Dicks, Hells Hitmen, Black T and The Midnight Express have pushed the Skulls far down the rankings. Now they’re guppies in an ocean, but that could change tonight. Tonight they can move up the tag team food chain. COACH Excellent point, Caboose. CABOOSE Your mom has an excellent point......In her mouth! BWHAHAHHAAHA! Skull Mask hops onto the ring apron and steps over the ropes. His partner slides under the ropes and into the combat zone. Both men stare emotionless at the entrance ramp, waiting for their opponents. They don’t have to wait long as the minute “Scarecrow Man” cuts out. “Leave” by JoJo begins. Multicolor lights flash on and off on and off as the fans break out into surprisingly loud ovation for tonight’s competitors! The entrance doors slide apart allowing Alix Spezia and Synth Esizer to step out to the arena floor! COLE Well, Synth appears to be having much more success with Alix then Logan’s having with Krista! Speaking of whom, we’ve received word that if Krista doesn’t pay her fine by next week she risks indefinite suspension. CABOOSE Please say indefinite suspension is another word for firing. BUFFER And the opponents, From Las Vegas, Nevada, he is one half of the greatest rock n wrestling band of all time, The Saints, he is Synth ESIZEEEEEERRRR! Synth’s name gets a smattering of cheers which are easily drowned out by the jeers and taunts directed his way. Synth pretends not to notice, but deep down inside the crowd’s hostility towards him combined with his own insecurities from a broken and abusive childhood is sending Synth’s inner self into a violent spiral of self defeating depression and loathing. BUFFER And his partner, from Beverly Hills, California, she is one half of the Chicks Over Dicks tag team, Alix SPEZIAAAAAAA! Alix receives what can basically be described as a home town pop as she’s a former resident of the Bay area. COACH Alix has history with Skull Mask and Skull Kid! Bet ya didn’t know that? Skull Mask put her out of action with a back injury. Then she got some revenge when she and Krista beat the Skulls in the first round of the tag team title tourney. The two walk down the entrance, starting with Alix trailing Synth. But she quickly catches up with him, running towards him like a lost puppy to it’s newly found master. She hooks her arm around his, smiling over the fact that she’s got a chance to be so close to him. Synth for his part looks neither thrilled nor disgusted to be in a tag team match with Alix. He’s more concerned with fluffing his hair and making sure it looks good for the TV. CABOOSE It looks like Alix raided your wardrobe, Cole. COLE I don’t own a tie-dyed criss cross halter top and matching booty shorts! CABOOSE Not anymore you don’t. As “Leave” fades out, Alix decides that she’ll start the match and Skull Kid decides the same for his team. “Tag out if you need to!” Synth shouts to Alix. “I won’t.” Alix expresses plainly, her eyes fixed on Skull Kid not on Synth. Lockup to start. Skull Kid goes behind Alix and gets her into a waistlock. Kid fights to lift her up but gets taken down to the mat with a side headlock takedown. He rises to his feet and Alix catches him with an arm wrench! She goes behind him and grabs a hammerlock. Kid thinks back to the long hours he spent getting stretched out at wrestling school and comes upon a way to counter the move. He grabs Alix’s head, bends down and flips her over his body. She lands on her feet! “That’s not how that went at wrestling school” Skull Kid laments to himself. They grab another lockup. Jockeying for position, Skull Kid is able to push her back to her corner. Still in the lockup he pushes her down so that her left knee is almost grazing the mat. WHAM! Out of no where, Alix slugs him in the stomach. Kid stumbles backwards and inch or two. Alix stands all the way up and gives him a hard shove to the mat! SLAP! Something just hit Alix on the back! She turns around to see what it was and isn’t the least bit pleased to find that Synth had tagged himself in. DASTARDLY FIEND! “The Synthmaster’s got this one. Don’t worry yourself.” Synth mutters to her, failing to acknowledge that she had been in complete control of Skull Kid. COLE What is he doing? She didn’t asked to be tagged in! CABOOSE He’s saving her! COACH She was in the lead! So to speak. CABOOSE Look at her! She’ll never be in the lead for anything! She looks like my baby sister! COACH Your baby sister must be damn fine! Synth smiles that money making rockstar smile as he brings Skull Kid to his feet. POW! Skull Kid hammers Synth in the jaw with right hook that rocks him six ways from Sunday! “Holy shit.” Synth thinks to himself, staggering backwards and wondering how a guy that size could pack such a punch. Kid grabs a hold of Synth’s arm and hurls him to the ropes, where Skull Mask is waiting to hit him in the face with his television sized boot! Synth falls backwards like a chopped down tree and lands back first onto Kid’s outstretched knee! CABOOSE What team work! I mean, what cheating! Damn it! There are too many heels in this match! Skull Kid leaps onto the second rope, then springs back with outstretched legs landing them across Synth’s neck! A few cheers can be heard for Kid’s aerial maneuver. Kid drags Synth over to his corner and slams him back first against the turnbuckle. Synth struggles to fight off the dizziness that is fogging his brain. He fails to see Skull Kid tag in Skull Mask. Mask steps over the ropes and he and Kid lay into Synth’s midsection with well placed boots. “Outta the ring!” OAOAST ref, Billy Silverman barks at Skull Kid. Kid actually obliges without question, figuring that his teammate doesn’t need any help in finishing Synth off. The monster, Skull Mask wraps his massive hands around the neck of Synth. He squeezes tightly, and his eyes burn with an incurable anger as he legitimately tries to crush Synth’s neck into pieces. Synth, rapidly losing air, does the only thing he can do and grabs onto the ropes. His hope is that the referee will show him a little mercy. And Billy Silverman does just that, by ordering Skull Mask to break the hold. Mask does indeed do that, but not the way Synth was hoping. Mask lifts Synth high into air, his feet dangling like they’re running in place. He gives him a hard shake then tosses him towards the center of the ring. Mask watches in what can vaguely be described as satisfaction as Synth flips through the air and lands with a thud on the mat! COLE He should’ve let Alix stay in the match. Didn’t Alix have this problem with Scotty Riggs? COACH Would you trust Alix in the ring with a man the size of Skull Mask? Would you trust anybody with a man the size of Skull Mask? Synth is wheezing and coughing but he doesn’t care! He’s free from Skull Mask’s grasp and he ain’t ever going back! Mask lumbers towards Synth. The pace of his step is so sloooooooooow that he gives Synth just enough time make a small recovery. Synth rushes towards Mask. Mask goes for a clothesline but Synth ducks underneath it! Mask comically stumbles forward, disgusted in himself for missing the move! Synth runs past Mask and bounces off the ropes..... “BONZAI!” Synth hollers as he knocks Mask to the ground with a spinning wheel kick! CABOOSE Impressive! Skull Mask is up as quick as he went down! Synth shakes his head, wondering how Mask recovered so quick while he’s still hurting from Kid’s punch! Synth darts to Mask’s side and wraps an arm around his neck! He hooks his leg around Mask’s and they both fall back in a Side Russian Leg Sweep! CABOOSE A nice basic move. Nothing to fancy but it’s still effective. COACH Hey, Boo-Boo, you said that kinda fast, what’s the Russian? HAAA!! Get it? Russian? Fast? Side Russian Leg Sweep! HAHAA! The Synth-o-nator hooks Mask’s leg and goes for a pinfall. 1 2 KICK OUT! Synth shoots Billy Silverman an icy glare! How quickly we forget those who have shown us kindness! Synth, not wanting to waste his own energy, lets Mask bring himself to his feet. Synth in an impressive show of strength lifts Mask into a Fireman Carry’s position. Beads of sweat roll down Synth’s face as it’s obvious that lifting such an enormous man was a great strain. He starts to think that picking Skull Mask up was an awful idea but realizes that he has no choice but to go through with his plan. A loud grunt escapes from Synth’s mouth as he swings Mask in front of his body, taking hold of the behemoth’s head. Synth sits out on the move and SLAAAAAAM he drops Mask face first onto the ground!!! “Nice job!” Alix shouts encouragingly. She and the crowd share feelings of being wowed at Synth’s handling of the 300 pounder. Pin attempt! 1 2 KICK OUT! Both men to their feet. A primal scream is heard from Synth as he exerts a great deal of energy by whiping Mask into the corner. This would’ve been a smart move if he hadn’t whipped Mask into the Skull’s corner! Of course, Skull Kid tags himself in, giving Mask a break. The tag will allow the big man to catch his breath and be more powerful then ever before! Kid charges into the ring, leaping onto Synth’s shoulders and flipping him head over heels with a hurricanrana! Kid points a menacing finger at Alix, telling her that she’s next! She points a finger back at him, telling him his fly is undone. Which it is. Alix is helpful. COLE I talked with Skull Kid and Skull Mask earlier today and they said they plan... CABOOSE Stop your lies! No one in the locker room’ll say a word to your punk ass. Kid turns his attention back to Synth. He puts the boots to him as he tries to crawl towards the ropes! Kid grabs a handful of Synth’s hair and yanks him to his feet. He hooks his heavily tattooed arms around Synth’s and twists him around as if he’s going for an unprettier, but Synth breaks free of the hold and shoves Kid to the bouncy ring ropes! When Kid rebounds Synth goes for a powerslam but Kid reverses it into an armdrag! COLE I didn’t know a powerslam could be turned into an armdrag. COACH You can reverse anything into an armdrag. Even peanuts. Kid scales the ropes and makes it to the top turnbuckle, glancing over his shoulder to make sure Synth is still in the perfect is position. He is. Kid cracks an uncharacteristic smile, it’s not everyday he gets to do the move he’s planning to do. Hell, it isn’t today he gets to do the move he’s planning on doing as Alix rushes towards the corner and yanks his leg out from under him! Kid drops onto the top turnbuckle, crotch first! “N..o..” He sputters barely able to withstand the pain that’s working overtime to overwhelm him. CABOOSE Dirty trick! No fair! It’s not like he can do that to her! Maybe to Krista, but not her! Predictably, Skull Mask marches over to STRIKE ALIX DOWN! Even more predictably, Billy Silverman cuts him off midway! Most predictable of all, Alix decides to take advantage of the referee’s temporary distraction. She climbs to the top rope to meet Skull Kid, who’s fighting back tears of anguish. She hooks him into a front face lock, and camera flashes fill the air as the two fly thru the air above the ring entangled in a top rope sitout DDT, popping the sold out crowd in the process! Alix absorbs most of the move with the same BUTT Synth has been drooling over for weeks. Kid’s not so lucky as he takes the move with his face! Silverman, hearing a loud thud come from behind him, whips his head around to see what mischief has occurred! He sees Kid lying on the mat holding his head and crying out in pain. Silverman turns his suspicious gaze to Alix, who’s standing on the mat, smiling cutley, batting her eyes, holding her hands behind her back and twisting her body like a little girl. He admonishes himself for ever considering that she could be guilty of foul play. CABOOSE She cheated! COLE Oh shut up! How could someone so precious ever cheat in a wrestling match? Look at her, she’s adorable. Like Thumper, from Bambi! COACH Yeah, Caboose, stop being such a grumpy dillweed. CABOOSE You both saw her! We all saw her! Cheater! Synth crawls over to Skull Kid and drapes an arm around his chest. Pinfall attempt....Billy Silverman is still checking out Alix and wondering how he’s going to explain to his wife of thirty years that he left her to chase a twenty five year old pro wrestler. “Yo!” Synth barks at Billy Silverman, snapping him out of his daydream. “Count the Synthmeister’s fall of pin, pissface!” Synth makes a mental note to have Billy Silverman fired after the match. 1 2 KICK OUT! As expected, Synth immediately blows a casket and blames Billy Silverman! Rightfully so. He pops up off the ground and gives Silverman a life time worth of heat. “You were scoping out the Synth-o-mania’s gal when you shoulda been counting the Synthmachine’s fall of pin! Synth outta turn his feet into drumsticks and play tune on your ass!” Synth hollers. This verbal tongue lashing gives enough time for Skull Kid to recover some strength. He grabs the inside of Synth’s leg and rolls up him up! 1 KICK OUT! The ring is filled with ANGER! Both from Synth at getting rolled up and from Skull Kid at only getting a one count! The two men get to their feet at the exact same time. They exchange brutal close fists, each trying their hardest to rearrange the others face, neither man giving an inch. In a nice display of sneakiness, Kid goes behind Synth and wraps his arms around his waist for the dreaded waist lock! COACH Isn’t Kid’s hand a little close to Synth’s......you know. German Suplex by Skull Kid! Synth lands on his feet, surprising even himself with a show of agility. Synth pushes his luck a bit to far when he charges at Kid with a shoulder block! Kid counters the move into a flapjack, sending Synth rocketing into the air! On the way down, Synth starts to regret his decision to try a shoulder block as Skull Kid hits him with a diamond cutter! Skull Kid starts the making of a pin fall but stops short when he sees that Skull Mask is leaning over the ropes, practically begging to get in on the action! Kid walks over to Mask and brings the big man back into the match! CABOOSE Welp, here comes the pain! COLE Hey! CABOOSE He quit! The phrase is up for grabs! I’m claiming it! It’s mine now! Skull Mask grabs Synth and stuffs him between his legs for some ORAL PLEASURE~!~~!~!~!~! Actually he’s just going for a powerbomb! AND WHAT A POWERBOMB! Skull Mask slams Synth against the mat, nearly driving him to the ninth level of hell! The sound of Synth’s flesh slamming against the mat sends echoes throughout the arena! The fearsome beast isn’t done bringing the carnage to Synth’s world! Not by a long shot! He lifts Synth up again and hits another powerbomb! LORD HAVE MERCY! Over in a corner far far away, Skull Kid smiles on, waiting to see what type of devastating move Skull Mask will do next! Skull Mask brings the answers by lifting Synth for another Powerbomb! Mask thinks “Hey, it’s not everyday I get to powerbomb someone three times.” and gets fancy by doing lil helicopter spin while holding Synth on his shoulders! This proves to be a bigger mistake then Caboose’s conception as Synth counters it into a tornado DDT driving Skull Mask’s face into the mat! CABOOSE Welp, here comes the pain! COACH Dude... CABOOSE I’ll say it all I want. I go to take a shit: “Welp, here comes the pain” I see my mother in law: “Welp, here comes the pain!” Synth struggles to collect his thoughts. There’s no way he can continue duking it out with this heartless fiend, but he can’t tag Alix in. She’ll just get beat up and he can’t be seen with a groupie who’s eye is swollen shut. “Synth’ll get the Synthmaster disqualified!” he exclaims in his head, not realizing how weird it is to think to yourself in third person. Synth punts Skull Mask square in the nuts! Satisfied with himself he lets his guard down expecting the bell to be rung at any moment. Any moment. Any. Moment. Now. WHERE’S THE FUCKING BELL??!!! Synth looks over in horror to see that Billy Silverman’s attention is being occupied by talking with Alix. He’s asking her if she’s doing okay and checking to see how she’s holding. Considering that she’s been in the match for a grand total of forty seconds, Synth can see that Silverman’s concern is just a transparent ploy to garner an opportunity to look down Alix’s shirt. Synth would go over and kick the crap out of Billy Silverman but he now has more important things to worry about. The freak of nature, Skull Mask is on his feet and he is ENRAGED~! His fists are clenched in melon sized balls, and his head is demonically twisting itself around. Left to right, up to down. He grabs a hold of Synth’s neck and wastes no time in punishing him with a chokeslam! Skull Mask falls to the mat with Synth the way he would if he was executing Hoff’s Rock bottom. COLE Good gawd, look at the power! LOOK AT THE POWER! CABOOSE Calm down there, JR. Next you’ll be telling us where Mask played his college ball. COACH Yeah, you wanna play with Zack Malibu’s college ball. LMAO! Mask, his hand still firmly clasped around Synth’s comparatively scrawny neck, brings himself and Synth upright. He lifts Synth up for ANOTHER chokeslam, but Synth, trying to avoid an early death, twists his body around, hooks his legs around Mask’s torso and gets him into a roll up pin attempt! 1 2 KICK OUT! CABOOSE Slow count...er...fast count! The heel/face dynamic has been ruined! Both men rise to their feet. Mask is up quicker then Synth and as such he gains the offensive advantage. He grabs Synth’s lower arm and violently propels him to the corner! Synth, not wanting to pick up what Mask is putting down, leaps onto the top rope and gracefully comes back with a moonsault! While beautiful, Synth’s moonsault is way to slow, as Mask is able to set himself into perfect position to catch him in his arms! With Synth slung over his shoulder, Mask seeks to resume his sadistic beating! He charges towards the corner with the intent on driving Synth’s back into the turnbuckle! The thought of extraordinarily high chiropractic bills does not sit well with Synth! He manages to free himself of Mask’s grasp and lands behind the behemoth! Seizing his newfound advantage, Synth shoves Mask into the same corner his back was about to get up close and personal with! Mask staggers backwards and turns around into a SUPERKICK! The move doesn’t knock the big man off his feet but does send him reeling back into the ropes! Regretfully, Synth finds himself out of options. He has no choice but to make the hot tag to Alix! The crowd pops as the “slap” sound echoes throughout the arena! Alix hops over the ropes and darts into the ring! Not surprisingly, Skull Kid does the same! COLE Skull Kid didn’t get tagged in! Kid and Alix meet once again and Alix gains the upperhand by smacking him across the forehead with a flipping clothesline! Kid refuses to let a woman get one up on him! He gets to his feet and dashes at Alix with a clothesline! Alix steps out of the way and he goes flying into the ropes, getting the arm that he tried to clothesline her with draped over the top! Alix grabs a hold of both his legs and dumps him out of the ring! Kid falls to the floor bellow, smashing the side of his head against the hard as rock mats! “Sayonara!” She says without a hint of sarcasm or cruelty in her voice. Alix turns towards Mask. He’s off the ropes and looking for someone to maim. “That someone isn’t going to be me” She tells herself. She baits Skull Mask into coming towards her, pretending to be an easy target. He lumbers towards her, salivating over the prospects of sending such a beautiful young lady to the emergency room. He reaches out with his tree trunk like arms, wanting to bring her into his nearly unescapable grasp. As he starts to grab a hold of her upper chest, Alix reaches into her hot pants, slips on a pair of brass knucks and HAMMERS Skull Mask in the chin with a sick uppercut! BAAAAAAAAM! That’s the ear drum shattering sound of Skull Mask hitting the mat! The entire ring shakes as if it had just been hit by an earthquake! It’s like a boulder was dropped in the center of the ring! Synth has to hold onto the ropes to make sure the shaking doesn’t cause him to doesn’t fall off! A few of Mask’s off white teeth ejected from his mouth and flew through the air, landing on the canvas at the foot of their knocked out owner. Mask’s eyes roll to the back of his head and he’s to far gone to hear the chants of “Alix” and the sound of Billy Silverman’s hand slamming against the mat. CROWD 1 CROWD 2 CROWD 3! The fans erupt in a chorus of cheers as “Leave” by JoJo plays once again, signifying Alix and Synth’s victory! BUFFER You’re winners the team of Alix Spezia and Synth Esizer! COLE Tres impressive! Right, guys? COACH Right! CABOOSE Right nothing! If Alix looked like Drek Stone and not some “Young and Modern” cover girl, you two would be throwing a fit! She cheated! Twice! COLE So what? She’s adorable! COACH Like Thumper! CABOOSE Does Thumper die in the end? In the ring, Alix’s hand is being raised by Billy Silverman. Doubtful that her hand’s the only thing being raised between the two. Alix pulls away from Billy Silverman (who isn’t happy to let her go) and heads over to Synth. She checks to see if he’s okay, the helps him up. All smiles, she raises his hand into the air so that he to can enjoy the adulation of the fans! The look on Synth’s face though, tells us that he’s none to happy to have been saved by Alix. COLE Gang, I think Synth might be embarrassed. Maybe kind of upset? COACH Over what, old friend? COLE Over the fact that he tagged Alix out at the start of the match, thinking that she couldn’t do anything to defend herself against these sick animals only to have her come in, save the day and score the winning pinfall! That has to irk him. CABOOSE B.S. Synth softened both Skulls up to the point where Alix was allowed to successfully come in and commit her act of treachery! COLE Well, what’s done is done. Fans, we understand that we’re about to hear a few words from Italian Champion, Drek Stone. CABOOSE Finally, someone entertaining! *The camera slowly fades into a dark room, in which the only thing that can be clearly seen is the profile of a man. The lights in the room begin to get a little brighter until finally, thanks to the AngleTron, the fans are able to see that the man standing by himself in this room is none other than the current OAOAST Italian Champion Drek Stone. A steady chorus of boos rises up from the capacity crowd, but Drek isn’t anywhere close enough to the crowd to hear their jeers. The camera slowly peels away from the scene for a second, until everyone is able to see that – in this room – Drek is standing next to the Hell-in-a-Cell structure that will be used this Sunday. Drek begins to slowly pull at the steel bars of the cage, almost enamored with the technological construction of the structure. After a few moments, the camera moves a little closer to Drek, and he finally begins to speak* DREK Well, this is it, Cappa. This is what our three months of fighting have led to. This Sunday, we’ve come to the big climax. This is our Gettysburg. Our D-Day. Finally, we have reached the turning point of our feud. After this, there will be no turning back. And fortunately, I think we both realize this. *Drek begins to walk beside the steel structure until he gets to a deflated balloon that has been taped to the bars* See, for you, Cappa….I can understand your plight. This entire feud has something to do with your pride. Following your feud with Tha Puerto Rican, you were on top of the world. You had the Puerto Rican Title in your grasp. You finally had the feeling that you had become an established superstar in the OAOAST. Everything was finally going your away……until I came along. From the first HeldDown after Living Anglelously, I was ready to stalk you. To end that infuriating celebration spectacle you were having that night. At that point, you knew you had reached nothing. At that point, it was then that you realized that you were still a nobody. And I had already very quickly become a somebody. You see this balloon, Cappa? This was one of the balloons that fell from the rafters as you proudly marched to the ring. I kept it. As a reminder of that night, and as a reminder of the beginning of our feud. I think it adds a classy bit of symbolism to this speech, don’t you? Much like this balloon, your career has deflated as well. *Drek continues to walk besides the cell until next, he reaches a pair of brass knuckles that have been tied to the bars with a thick piece of string* I’ll admit that you came out on top at School’s Out. But, let’s be honest here now….ultimately, that win meant absolutely nothing. Nothing! Because, Cappa, I came back stronger than ever. As witnessed from that HeldDown episode a few weeks later. I duped you. Hook, line, and sinker – I fooled you into accepting a Puerto Rican Title challenge two weeks after we had fought our first match. You thought I was going to let you off that easy? Oh no, I had better plans. Much better. And, rest assured, you wound up seeing that. These brass knuckles….these glorious brass knuckles…..they were the same ones I used to bust you open that night. The same knuckles that tore open your forehead, staining the entire mat with crimson. A beautiful piece of Americana, I think. *Once again, Drek starts to walk, until he comes to the sledgehammer hanging off the edge of the cell. The fans begin to boo immediately, understanding the significance of this item* Now Cappa, I’m sure you remember what this is. But just in case you don’t……I mean, that was a really nasty blow to the head….I’ll try to remind you. After I had crushed you at Great Angle Bash, after I had taken away your Puerto Rican Title, after I had taken away any remaining shred of dignity you were desperately clinging onto….I tried, oh so desperately, to finish this job. So, I held this sledgehammer in my hands, lifted it high over my head, and rammed it into your empty, greasy head. All the boos in the world that night couldn’t ruin the ecstacy that pumped through my veins. But ah yes, before I hit you with the hammer, I did do something else with it…. *Drek takes three steps forward, coming next to a belt strap on which the gold plate of Puerto Rican Title used to sit* I ruined YOUR championship belt. I smashed one of the most important things in the world to you. I destroyed the gold that you had worked so hard to obtain in the OAOAST. I was able to see your heart break in your eyes as I heard the gold crack and splinter under the massive weight of the hammer. My proudest accomplishment, I do think. And finally…. *Drek walks ahead again, this time coming to a box that is sitting on the floor, pushed next to the Hell-in-a-Cell. Drek bends down and pulls out a pile of fabric from the crate* Some memorabilia that I thought you’d find interesting. This…. *Drek holds up a shred of ring mat that has a noticeable, crimson stain.* This is the ring mat from the HeldDown on what was supposed to be our Puerto Rican Title match. This red stain……why, Cappa, that’s your blood. *Next, Drek holds up a pair of ring trunks that have a clear, red mark stained across the fabric* These are the trunks you wore at the Great Angle Bash. Do you know how much I had to pay the ring rats in the back to get a hold of this thing? Well, Cappa, just to we’re completely clear…..that’s a red stain on your trunks. Not a white one, thankfully. And Cappa, just so we’re clear once again…..that’s your blood. Surprise, surprise. *Finally, Drek holds up a T-Shirt that, once again, has a large, red stain running down the entire fabric* And this….this T-Shirt may symbolize, perhaps, the greatest tactic I ever pulled. Flashback to two weeks ago when I hired those Rent-a-Cops to haul your ass out of that ring. I had you cuffed to the chair, helpless against anything I had planned….and I busted you open again. AGAIN! Jesus Christ, once again, YOU STAINED MY HANDS WITH YOUR BLOOD! This is the T-Shirt you wore that night when I made you bleed for the umpteenth time. But Cappa…. *Drek drops all the fabric to his feet* It’s not enough. For as many times as I’ve made you bleed, I’m not satisfied yet. I’m not finished with you. All of that blood, and I’m just not happy. Because, to put it simply…..that was all child’s play. That was me toying around with you. That was me having my fun before I finally cut you down and end your career. And Cappa….time has just about run out for you. I’m tired of having my fun, and it’s time for me to put you out of your misery. Combine all the blood I made you shed over the past three months…..it doesn’t even compare to the amount of blood I plan to extract from you this Sunday. Because, Cappa, like I said…..this is the end. This is the final battle. And I am going to give those fans that night something to remember. I vow to you Cappa, this IS going to be Hell-in-a-Cell for you. And following “License to Pin”, when they look at me, they’re not just going to see me as a tremendous technical athlete. They’re not just going to see me as a brutally vicious brawler. They’re not even going to see me as the most handsome human being they ever laid eyes on. No……they’re going to see the epitome of ruthlessness. And when I walk past them….from this Sunday night for the rest of my natural life….they’re going to say “THAT’S the man that ended The Mad Cappa’s career. THAT’S the man that laid down one of the worst beatings I’ve ever seen. THAT’S…….THAT’S DREK STONE!” And Cappa, as you sit at home in your wheelchair….bitter, crippled, and isolated from the rest of the world….you’ll remember that day in April when we first locked eyes. Like I’ve known all along – and like I’ve warned you for months now – it was the beginning of the end of your career. Cappa…. *The camera starts to peel away once again, with the image of Drek Stone getting significantly smaller, as the lights begin to slowly darken* It’s over….. *Finally, the entire scene goes black*

We still love you.

I predict that one person will forget the PPV is in a prison and write their match like it was in an arena. That one person will not be me, because I don't have a match.

It means "good" or "cool". However in this case I was trying to convey that I found the name funny.

Swell ball.

I'm interested in seeing how a Hell in a Cell match will work outside. Don't those have to be lowered from a ceiling or something?

What? The actual second day event takes place outdoors. But fans on the inside will be able to watch it on video screens. Hence the term "indoor screening". Zack wants you to mention the indoor crowd so he doesn't look crazy! Well, to late for that!

It was nice and short and to the point. Did a fine job of setting up some heat between the four. Plus it was intertwined with another segment making my life a tiny bit easier.

This is the last show before the PPV, so make it not suck. Thank you. Synth of The Saints and Alix of Chicks Over Dicks will take on Skull Mask and Skull Kid.

Sorry, I fucked up the spacing on the Sly/Drek match. I'm sure I messed up a few more things as I had to rush to post show, which is I didn't make a feedback thread or a booking thread. Anywho, nice little show. Heavy on the matches with Sly/Drek being the best. But they were all good. I liked Zack's hissy fit at the start of the show and enjoyed Papa fulfilling my promise of the taking of human life! I put that segment at the end, because I didn't think it would make sense for the announcers to spend the rest of the show going on like nothing happened. Oh god, I've almost made 900 posts on this message board.

("Gimme Back My Bullets" starts up, and Sly Sommers comes out, wearing a bandage on his forehead from last week's attack from Calvin Szechstein, to a sizeable ovation.) COACH Wait...what's this? There's something going on backstage! (We cut backstage, where we see the Rave and Assault Squad stomping the heck out of someone. Nate and Mikey pull him up by the arms and hair to reveal that it's Rick Edwards.) SB87 Last week...your little soap opera interrupting us...that was the last straw! (punches Rick in the face) We've had it with you and your type, hogging up all of the television time with your incessant boo-hooing, and your little morality plays, when we could be in that ring, using our actions instead of our words to get ourselves over! (Mikey and Nate shove Rick face-first up to the wall behind them, and Nate grabs a chair from the floor to hold up to the back of Rick's head. SB87 then charges at him and nails a 360 rotation front spinning wheel kick, also known as the Shining Arachnid. Rick falls to the floor upon impact.) SB87 I guarentee you, that is NOT the last time you'll hear from us! Boys, the time for talking is over... MIKEY Yeah, the time for tal... SB87 What did I just say? Now, shut up and come with me. (Mikey and Nate follow SB87 out of the room, with Mikey and Nate chatting about SB87 just snapping at Mikey.) (Cut back to the arena, where Sly Sommers is being checked for weapons by the referee.) COLE I can't believe that. The Rave and Assault Squad are blaming Rick Edwards for their promo being cut out on last week? COACH That's one issue I know isn't settled...but let's get our focus concentrated on this match, shall we? ("Woke Up This Morning" starts up, and out comes the OAOAST Italian Champion Drek Stone. He pours a bottle of water over his head, and then tosses the empty bottle out into the crowd. A fan touches him on the shoulder as he walks out to the ring, and Drek yells at the fan for even daring to come close to him. Drek then walks into the ring, handing the referee both his belt and a white rag, and forcing him to shine the belt. Michael Buffer then takes center-ring...) BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, we have a very special match tonight, as the OAOAST Italian Championship will be defended between the OAOAST Observer Newsletter's 2003 Rookie of the Year, as voted on by its subscribers and writer Dave Seltzer, and the man who looks like he will easily win all Rookie of the Year awards for the year of two thousand and four...ladies and gentlemen, are you ready? (Decent applause) I said, ARE YOU RRRRRRRREADDDDDDY?!?!?! (large pop) For the thousands in attendance, and the forty-seven watching at home...LLLETT'S GET REEEEEAAADY TO RRRRRRRUMMMBBBLLLLLLLLLE! (Crowd applauds ridiculously cheesy saying.) BUFFER Introducing first, the challenger...he hails from Bayside, California, and is a former OAOAST X-Division Champion...weighing in tonight at 197 pounds...he is Sly SOOOOOMMMMMERRRRS! (Crowd applauds Sly as he poses on the second rope.) BUFFER And his opponent...weighing in tonight at 235 pounds, and hailing from Brooklyn, New York...he is the current, reigning, and defending OAOAST Italian Champion...he is "Reckless" Drek Stone! (Crowd boos as Drek gives them all the Italian Salute (scraping fingernails on underside of jaw).) *DING**DING* The bell rings, and we are underway. Both men circle around the center of the ring, and Sly even sticks his hand out for a handshake. Drek spits in it, and Sly rubs it off on his tights. They then lock up, and Sly gets the advantage with a headlock. Drek can't squeeze out, so he sends Sly off to the ropes. Sly comes off of the ropes and sends Drek down with a shoulder tackle. Sly then comes off of the ropes to his left, and Drek turns onto his stomach, causing Sly to leap over him while running. Sly comes off of the ropes on the other side, and gets leapfrogged by Drek coming back. Sly comes off of the ropes on the opposite side again, but this time runs into a drop toe hold by Stone. CABOOSE Drek Stone: smart man. Drek then flops himself over to lock in a front facelock. Sly works his way out and reverses it into a grounded reverse hammerlock. Sly then bridges over with it. Drek then slowly works his way up to a bent-over position. When he does, Sly rolls over his back backwards and keeps ahold of the arm to lock in a wristlock. Drek then uses his far leg to step over the wristlock and break it. COLE That was a creative escape. From that position, Drek locks in a cravate. Sly can't squeeze out, so he does a forward roll to escape. He then sweeps Drek's legs out from under him, and goes for a lateral press... 1... Kickout. Both men come back up, and Sly goes for another legsweep. But, Drek hops right over Sly's attempt, and drops down to lock in a seated headlock. Sly uses a very original escape for the headlock, as he basically does a push-up, then hops up and outward with his hands to squeeze out. Sly then wraps his legs around Drek's head from behind as Drek sits on the mat, then sits back and hooks the legs with it... 1... 2... Kickout. Both men come back up, and Sly nails a nice hiptoss to send Drek down. Sly then pulls Drek back up by the arm, hooks him in a hammerlock, and drops him with an inverted flatliner. Sly pulls Drek up again, wrings his arm, and sends him off to the ropes. Sly then nails a flying shoulderblock. Sly then stands up and bends Drek's arm around his leg in an unnatural position. Sly then snaps back in Indian Deathlock manner. COACH That's gotta hurt! Sly then starts repeatedly punching a grounded Drek in the shoulder until his hand starts to hurt. Sommers pulls Stone up, and pulls him over by the arm with a judo takedown. Sly goes for a cross armbreaker, but Drek locks his hands so that Sly cannot apply it fully. Drek then kicks his feet out and gets a rope break. Sly lets go of the hold, and when Drek gets up, he charges at him. But, Drek drops down while holding the top rope and sends Sly flying over the top rope and to the floor! COLE Crashing to the floor like that can't do a body good. Drek then slides to the outside. When Sly gets to a knelt position, Drek connects with a stiff knee to the side of Sly's head. Drek then uses his right arm and shoulders to hurl Sly onto the apron, and then shove him back into the ring, due to his left arm being rendered hurt because of Sly's work on it. Drek goes back into the ring, pulls Sly up, and brings him over with a snapmare. Drek then connects with a stiff kick to the back of Sly's head. CABOOSE I don't think the human head is supposed to make sounds like that. Sly then crawls around on the mat dazed, and Drek gives him a stiff field goal-style kick to the side of the head for his troubles. Drek then pulls Sly up by the hair, but cannot lift him because of his left arm. So, he applies a headlock. Sly tries to shove him off to the ropes, but Drek pivot-steps and trips Sly down to the mat. Drek then nails a standing legdrop on the back of Sly's head. Drek pulls Sly up, and connects with a stiff European uppercut that sends Sly flying back into a corner. COLE He felt that one back in California! Drek then connects with a back elbow to the side of Sly's neck. He backs off, and nails another back elbow. He then hooks Sly's head and arm, and brings him over with a twisting STO. Drek then drops to a seated position and locks in a headscissors. Sly can't squeeze his head out manually, so he rolls over so that both him and Drek are on their stomaches. Sly then does a headstand, and pops out to a standing position. But, Drek gets him back by connecting with a wild mule kick to Sly's lower back when Sly turns around. COACH Very unorthodox there... Drek then repeatedly kicks and stomps at Sly until he goes down. Stone sits Sly up, comes off of the ropes, and connects with a hagekure (running knee strike to sitting opponent). Drek goes for the cover... 1... 2... Kickout. Drek then pulls Sly up, and nails a neckbreaker onto his knee. Sly ends up dazed and sitting, so Drek comes off of the ropes and nails a Hennig Neck Snap. Drek then nails a standing falling headbutt. Stone then pulls Sly up and nails a jawbreaker that sends him down. Drek comes off of the ropes and nails a power drive elbow drop (Muta-like snap elbow). Stone goes for the cover... 1... 2... Kickout. Drek then tries to lock in the Dragon sleeper, but Sly bridges up and out. Sly then nails a back elbow to Drek's stomach. Sly then comes off of the ropes, but Drek nails him with a kitchen sink knee to the stomach. Drek then scrapes his boot across Sly's forehead, trying to open both Sly's bandage and his cut without messing up his hands. But, Drek is unsuccessful. So, Drek bends down and rips the bandage off with his bare hands. COLE Sometimes, when you want to get the job done, you gotta get your fingernails a bit dirty. Drek then stomps on Sly's forehead, trying to re-open the cut. But, it won't open. He then pulls Sly up and delivers a European uppercut that won't open the cut. So, he gets frustrated and signals for the StoneCutter early. But, he lifts Sly too high when going for it, and Sly flips out, landing on his feet behind Drek. Drek turns around and walks into a superkick. Sly then goes for the cover... 1... 2... Kickout. Sly then pulls Drek up, and goes for an Irish whip. But, Drek twists around and reverses with a snap version of Danny Doring's Bareback. Drek then lifts Sly up for a suplex, but Sly gets out the back end. He then tosses Drek over the top rope and to the floor. When Drek wanders to his feet, Sly heads up top. He then dives off, but Drek moves and Sly crashes on the floor, with his face colliding with the guardrail. The camera then gets a close-up of Sly, who looks like he's re-opened the cut from last week. COACH Uh oh...this can't be good. Drek then grabs Sly and tosses him back into the ring. Drek looks down at his hand to see that he got a little bit of blood on it, and then runs into the ring and starts rapidly punching Sly's cut, attempting to open it even wider. Drek then digs his fingernails into the cut. He quickly switches to a blatant choke, which the referee makes him break. He goes back to digging into the cut, but then chokes again. The referee then makes him get off of Sly completely. CABOOSE Drek Stone is one hell of an opportunist! COLE I say he's one hell of a cheater. Drek then sits Sly up and hooks his arm for a sitting abdominal stretch, but then hooks his head and arm for an STO-style choke submission. Sly won't give up, so Drek gets annoyed, pulls Sly up from that position, and slams him back down to the mat. Drek then goes to the second rope, and nails a big legdrop. Stone goes for the cover... 1... 2... Kickout. Drek then pulls Sly up, and nails a facebuster while driving both knees into Sly's face. Drek then goes into the corner, slowly jogs out, and drops a knee on Sly's face. Drek then locks in a side chinlock. As the referee checks to see if the move is a choke, Drek puts his feet on the middle rope to illegally apply more pressure. The referee looks up, and Drek drops his feet to the ground, denying that he cheated. COACH Ref, are ya blind? The referee then goes back into position, and Drek does it again. The referee sees the feet on the ropes and goes back to check again. Drek moves them onto the mat again, and denies cheating. The referee then goes back to his position. Drek then puts them back on the ropes, and really gets into wrenching the chinlock. The referee spots the feet, and Drek gets caught this time! He's forced to break the hold. COLE Thattaref! Drek then comes to his feet and starts to argue with the referee. When he gets too frustrated, he turns around to go back to work on Sly. But, he walks right into a small package from Sommers... 1... 2... Kickout. Both men come up, and Sly goes for a backslide. But, Drek reverses with a neckbreaker. Drek then kneels down and chokes Sly with his shin, all while arguing with the referee. The referee has none of it, and makes Drek get off of Sly. Stone then turns Sly over, and connects with a crossface shot across the right side of Drek's face. Drek then goes for a crossface shot with the other arm, but Sly pulls him down by it, and goes for another cross armbreaker. Drek tries to keep the hands locked to block like before, but Sly scrapes his boot across Drek's hands to keep them apart. Drek then decides to roll backwards. He's then able to stand and pull his arm out. He follows up by stomping Sly in the back of the head. CABOOSE Another thing to admire Drek Stone for: inititive! Drek then drags Sly to the ropes by the hair, and chokes him over the middle rope with his leg. The referee makes him break the choke, so he locks in a camel clutch using the ropes for help. The camera closes in in Sly's face, and he's nearly got a full face of crimson, with blood dripping off of his chin onto the apron mat. Drek then pulls Sly up, and whips him off to the ropes with his good right arm. Sly comes off of the ropes and rolls under Drek's Yakuza kick attempt. Both men then turn around, and Sly gets plastered with the second Yakuza kick! COLE He might be out cold! Drek then goes for the cover... 1... 2... Kickout. Drek then immediately turns Sly over onto his stomach and locks in a front chancery (single-underhook front facelock). Sly can't escape, so he starts pounding the mat to try and get the crowd to support them. They start clapping in rhythm with his slaps on the ring canvas, and Sly slowly starts to rise to his feet. Drek can't stop Sly's rise, and comes up with him while holding onto the front chancery. Both men are standing, and Sly lets loose with a series of punches to Drek's mid-section. The eighth one is the charm, as Sly gets loose. But, Drek reaches out, grabs Sly's hair, and pulls him back down! COACH Ain't that illegal? CABOOSE Shut up, you baby. Drek then walks up to the ropes, jumps to the second one, and nails a turnaround legdrop. Drek decides to then pull Sly up to his feet instead of covering him, and shoves him into a corner stomach-first. Drek then climbs up on the second rope behind Sly and shoves the two sides of the cut together to create pressure on it to bleed more. Drek then starts yelling Mad Cappa's name into the camera maniacally. COLE He's obsessed! Drek then turns Sly around, and nails him in the face with a forearm that sends him into a seated position. Drek then grabs the top rope to balance himself, and delivers three stiff knee strikes to Sly's face in a row. Drek then jogs to the opposite corner. He charges forward, and nails a brutal facelift dropkick into Sly's face! The cameraman behind Sly gets drops of blood splattered on his lens. Drek then goes to the corner on the right, comes off of the ropes, and nails a sick running bootscrape to Sly's face! CABOOSE After that striking series, I'm surprised Sommers's head is still attached to his body! Drek then lies Sly down throat-first on the bottom rope, climbs on Sly's upper back, and repeatedly jumps up and down on it with both feet. Drek then lies down on Sly and chokes him on the bottom rope before the referee's five-count breaks it. Drek then pulls Sly up, and in one fluid motion, slams Sly's face down on his bent knee and then pops up to nail the floating neckbreaker (Double Shot). Drek goes for the cover... 1... 2... Kickout. Drek then pulls Sly up, and hooks his arms for a butterfly suplex. But, he can't lift Sly due to his sore arm. So, he delivers a solid right hand to Sly's face to send him down. Drek then goes to the second rope. He tries to pump himself Vader Bomb-style on the second rope, but can't do so due to his bad arm, so he uses his good right arm to help launch off and drop a big elbow drop. Drek goes for the cover... 1... 2... Rope break! Drek then pulls Sly up in a front facelock, and swings his leg around to drop him with a reverse Hog Log (Eye of the Hurricane done with leg). Drek then pulls Sly up, wrenches his eyes, and shoves him down. The referee yells at him for breaking th rules, and Drek laughs at him. Drek then pulls Sly up, and nails a Williams Neckbreaker (suplex/swinging neckbreaker). Drek then stands up, and actually walks over Sly's throat. COACH I almost think Drek's trying to push his boundaries here, seeing as if I think Sly's all but done. Drek then comes off of the ropes and drops a snap legdrop. Drek gets back up and drops another snap legdrop. Drek comes off of the ropes for a third, but Sly sits up. Drek thinks quick and doesn't actually perform the legdrop, so he's able to kick Sly in the back of the head and then kicking him in the chest to send him back down. Drek then turns Sly over on his stomach and applies a camel clutch, hooking Sly's jaw with his good arm and then grabbing the bad arm with his good hand. CABOOSE I doubt Sly's surviving this... Drek cranks back on the move as Sly looks to be going out. But, right before his lights completely go off, he starts pumping his fist in the air to show that he's still in this thing. He then works his way to his knees, and follows by slowly coming up to his feet. He grabs Drek's legs and lifts him up in a piggyback as he climbs to his feet. Sly teases falling back, but Drek punches him in the back of the head twice, and brings him down with an inverted falling reverse DDT. CABOOSE That's thinking OFF your feet! Drek then pulls Sly up, and drops him with a single-underhook DDT. Drek goes for the cover... 1... 2... Kickout. Drek then immediately transitions the pin to a Dragon Sleeper. Sly tries bridging out like before, but Drek saw it coming and punches Sly in the stomach to keep him down. Sly tries stomping to get the crowd behind him, but Drek slaps him in the chest for every time he stomps. Finally, Sly starts kicking upward and connecting with knees to Drek's skull. After the fifth one, Drek's grip is loosened enough for Sly to get one last burst of energy, spin the hold around, and reverse with the One Hit Wonder! Both men are down, so the referee starts the count... 1... 2.... 3.... 4... 5... Sly's crawling on with just his hands, as Drek's starting to pull himself up using the ropes.... 6... 7... 8... Drek's almost up, and Sly's on one knee... 9... Both men are up. Drek charges at Sly, but Sly blocks Drek's punch and nails one of his own. Drek throws another punch, but Sly blocks it and punches Drek again. Drek tries for a punch again, but Sly ducks and Drek spins around to get knocked down with a punch to the face. Sly then starts stumbling around dizzily, showing how much the blood loss he's had in this match has gotten to him. COLE Uh oh, this cannot be good for Sly... Sly's problems give Drek the time to recover and rise to his feet. When he gets up, he quickly lifts Sly and drops him with a split-legged slam. Drek cradles Sly for the pin... 1... 2... Kickout. Drek pulls Sly up, and goes to lift him for a second split-legged slam, but Sly reverses in mid-move with a double-legged takeover into a cross armbreaker! Sly keeps his leg slightly bent so that Drek cannot lock his hands together, and keeps tilted to one side to make sure Drek cannot roll out. Sensing that the end might be coming, Drek spits in the referee's eye to temporarily blind and distract him, and then slightly lifts his elbow to strike Sly in the groin to escape the hold. COACH Come on ref, disqualify the guy! Both men rise to their feet, and Drek goes for another punch. But, Sly ducks and punches Drek in the stomach at the same time. Sly then quickly goes to the apron, springboards to the top rope, and nails a flying single-arm DDT. Sly then transitions that on the mat into a Fujiwara armbar. Drek can't either pull his arm out or get to the ropes, so he rolls forward, pulls Sly up with his body weight, and drops him with a Side Effect using his good arm. Drek then goes for another STO choke, but Sly immediately gets to the ropes. COLE This was just one in a series of submission holds that's been busted out late in the match that's already been used tonight and therefore were seen coming. Drek kicks Sly in the head after the rope break before pulling him up. Drek signals for the Stonecutter and hooks Sly's head. But, Sly is able to reverse with a Northern Lights suplex that he can't bridge due to his light-headedness. Sly then pulls Drek up, and signals for the USA High Angle 2k4 Backdrop. He hooks Drek's arm around his stomach, but Drek escapes. COACH Stone's obviously a student of tapes, and saw it coming a mile away. Drek then comes off of the ropes and connects with a Yakuza kick that sends Sly flying back and both armpit-and-throat-first onto the middle rope. Drek then hooks Sly's head in a front facelock, and has his legs dragging over the middle rope. He then shifts his body so that Sly'll spin around, and Stone drops him with an inverted Stonecutter! Drek shakes off his hurt arm, and then goes for the cover without hooking the leg... 1... 2... Rope Break! Drek pounds the mat in frustration before yelling at the referee for a supposed "slow count". Drek then pulls Sly up slowly, shakes off his arm once again, and goes for a second Stonecutter. But, due to both his injured arm and Sly seeing it coming, Sly is able to escape the facelock and score with a legsweep and roll through into a jackknife cradle... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE We ALMOST had a new Italian Champion! Both men slowly stumble to their feet. When they're both up, Drek charges at Sly and throws a clothesline with his bad arm. That proves to be a tactical mistake, as Sly hooks the arm while ducking, twists around, and drops the arm across his shoulder for an inverted arm stunner. Sly then pulls Drek up by the arm, holds it out, and dropkicks it, causing Drek to spin around holding his arm. Sly gets up, hooks Drek's arm in a hammerlock, and uses that to bring him over in an inverted armdrag that he transitions into a sitting armbar! COACH I don't see Drek Stone surviving this! New Champion! Drek reaches out desperately and slowly crawls to the ropes. Seeing that he almost has no chance to get to the ropes, thanks to the mid-ring positioning by Sly, he rakes his fingernails on his good hand down Sly's back, causing Sly to loosen his grip due to distracting pain, and Drek to quickly crawl to the ropes. Sly slams Drek's arm onto the mat hard as he lets go of the armbar. CABOOSE That wasn't sportsman-like! COLE Either is poking at your opponent's eyes, hitting him in the baby-making region, or raking his back! COACH "Baby-making region"...that's a new one! Sly pulls Drek off of the mat and hooks him for the USA High Angle 2k4 Backdrop again. He lifts Drek, but Drek is able to switch positioning in mid-move, and goes for a sunset flip. But, he can't bring Sly over due to his bad arm. He waits until he can make sure that the referee isn't looking, and punches Sly in the nuts to make his trip down easier. Drek cradles him, and puts his feet on the ropes... 1... 2... KICKOUT! CABOOSE He's on performance-enhancing drugs, I swear! Drek gets up immediately and kicks Sly in the jaw with the toe of his boot, causing the referee to yell at Drek again, since toe-kicks are actually illegal. Drek pulls Sly up, and drops him with a DDT. Drek holds onto the front facelock, pulls Sly up, and drops him with a second DDT, right on his skull. Drek then pulls Sly up with the front facelock, but instead positions him for an attempted piledriver! COLE That's Sly's move! Drek gets him perfectly positioned, but cannot lift Sly because of the bad arm. Sly is able to then get one last boost of energy, and backdrops Stone down to the mat. Drek bounces up off of the mat holding his back, and walks into a kick to the stomach by Sly. Sly then positions Drek between his legs, straitjackets Drek's arms, lifts, and drops him with the Slyledriver! COACH That's Sly's new piledriver variation! I think this one's over! Sly lies on his back for a second, trying to undizzy himself, so to speak. As he does that, Drek rolls to the apron, cradling his bad arm and holding his neck. Sommers then slowly crawls over to Stone, as the blood still slightly drips from his almost fully-covered head of crimson, including dried-up blood in his long mane of hair. Sly grabs Stone, rolls him over slightly, and goes for the cover... 1.... 2.... DREK KICKS OUT! COACH How in the hell...? COLE Drek just kicked out of one of the damndest piledriver variations I've ever seen! Sly's put many an opponent away with the regular version, but Drek was able to survive his variation? Wow. CABOOSE Wow indeed. Sly then gets to his feet and pulls the still-dazed Stone to the middle of the ring. Sly then starts to climb the ropes facing the crowd, looking to go for a moonsault or something like it. When Sly gets to the top rope, he starts dozing off, and the camera closes in to see that Sly cannot keep his eyes fully open. He gets extremely dizzy and cannot let go of the ringpost. Sly then tries to let go and fully stand, but he quickly fades out, and ends up falling to crotch himself on the top turnbuckle. He then hangs almost unconciously in a tree of woe. COLE Guys...I don't think Sly's okay.... COACH Yeah, I'm getting kind of worried too. As this happens, Drek Stone slowly wanders up to his feet. He sees his window of opportunity and goes with it. He pulls Sly's upper torso upward by the hair and hooks Sly in a full nelson, as his legs are hooked on the top rope. Drek strains to use his left arm for a second, but then powers upward, lifts Sly, and drops him with the Recker (Dragon Suplex)! CABOOSE Drek rarely busts that one out! COLE I can't believe he pulled it off, with his bad arm and all... However, due to that bad arm, he isn't able to keep ahold of Sly for the bridge. But, Drek rolls over, sits on Sly's back, and locks in an inverted camel clutch, substituting the chinlock portion for the Tazmission (katzahajime; choke with half-nelson). He has to hook his bad arm with his good arm just to keep ahold of Sly. The referee checks Sly's eyes as the camera closes in on his face, and Sly looks to be completely unconcious. The referee then does the arm-drop check... 1....the arm goes down... 2....the arm goes down... 3...Sly's arm goes down for a third and final time! *DING**DING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner...and STILL OAOAST Italian Champion, "Reckless" Drek Stone! COLE What a finish to this contest! Drek Stone, who's proving himself to be one hell of a cerebral athlete, capitalized on Calvin Szechstein's dastardly scissors attack last week, opened Sly's forehead like a bloody faucet, and just waited out his turn until Sly's body eventually gave out. COACH I can sense a theme here: in the past month, Drek's taken on two men who we can basically call upper-carders, or main-eventers, in Calvin Szechstein and Sly Sommers...and he's beaten them fair and square in mid-ring. You know...as much as this guy irks me, I don't think I have to wait until December; Drek Stone is my OAOAST Rookie of the Year! CABOOSE Damn straight... The referee hands the Italian Championship over to Drek Stone, who raises it proudly over his head, much to the dissatisfaction of the crowd. Loud boos start to echo throughout the arena, but Drek doesn’t even bother to acknowledge them. He just shoots a long, cold stare at Sly Sommers, then changes his attention back to his Italian title. The jeers making their way through the building suddenly switch into thunderous cheers as the Mad Cappa sprints down to the ring! COLE IT’S THE MAD CAPPA!! THE MAD CAPPA IS HERE TONIGHT!! CABOOSE Oh, what the hell is he doing here?! Once again, running in right after a Drek Stone hard-fought matchup….what is this, a new trend or something? Drek drops the title to his feet and braces himself to battle the Mad Cappa. Cappa slides into the ring, and Drek immediately runs towards him to get the quick advantage. But the Mad Cappa pops right up and brings Drek down with a HARD clothesline! COACH Oh man, it looks like the Mad Cappa came here to clean house tonight! Right after the move, Drek rolls onto his side and back onto his feet. He backs himself into the corner to try to get back his wits, but Cappa isn’t allowing it. He moves up to Drek and begins to pepper him with shots to the face. After a few Cappa punches, Drek begins to battle back, hitting Cappa with his own strikes to the face. The two men ultimately move to the center of the ring, where they continue to hit each other with solid shots to the face! COLE This fistfight is starting to get out of control! You can feel just how much these two men hate each other! COACH And listen to these fans! They’re going crazy! They love it! Eventually, the Mad Cappa gets the advantage, hitting Drek with a nasty punch that sends him staggering back. Drek’s eyes widen as Cappa pushes him into the corner, and begins to absolutely unload with punches to the face and the midsection. The fans continue to cheer widely as Drek makes an attempt to cover up. Cappa finally moves back a few feet, looking like he’s sizing up Drek for something. He suddenly sprints forward, almost ready to splash Drek, but Drek suddenly gives Cappa a boot to the face, bringing him down to the mat. Drek quickly rolls out of the ring and stands at the bottom of the ramp, still in shock. CABOOSE Did you see that?! He wasn’t ready for a fight with the Mad Cappa tonight, but he STILL managed to brutally kick his ass in the ring! COACH What?! Boose, were you watching a different fight than the one I just saw? Cappa absolutely schooled Drek tonight…..just like he’s going to do in the Hell-in-a-Cell match next Sunday. CABOOSE Well, I’m not surprised. You still don’t know what the hell you’re………..WAIT! WHAT’S THE MAD CAPPA DOING?! Seemingly out of nowhere, the Mad Cappa bounces off the ropes, runs towards Drek Stone, and jumps on top of him with a SUICIDE PLANCHA!! The building immediately breaks out with a chant of “CAPPA! CAPPA!” as The Mad Cappa lands on Drek’s chest and continues to hit him with nasty strikes to the head. Drek makes an attempt to push Cappa off of his chest, but Cappa just continues to punch him. Six referees run down to the ring and quickly grab The Mad Cappa, pulling him off the body of Drek Stone. As soon as Cappa is restrained, Drek runs up the ramp until he finally gets to the entranceway. Looking back at the Mad Cappa with a concerned face, Drek can now see the fury present in Cappa’s eyes. Under the restraint of the referees, Cappa is noticeably seething, still wanting to get his revenge on Drek. Drek, with a silent breath, walks back through the entranceway, completely ignoring the “CAPPA!” chants breaking out around him. COLE After tonight, the anticipation is at a FEVER PITCH!! Folks, just in case you forgot….DREK STONE. THE MAD CAPPA. ITALIAN CHAMPIONSHIP. HELL-IN-A-CELL. LICENSE TO PIN. DON’T FORGET TO ORDER IT!! CABOOSE Oh, SHUT UP! Learn to use some friggin conjunctions in your sentences!! COACH Is Drek’s title reign almost over already?! We’ll find out in THIRTEEN DAYS!! CABOOSE What’s in thirteen days? COACH License to pin. CABOOSE What the fuck is that? Eh, whatever. NEXT! (Go to break) (Return from break) "It's Goin Down" by Linkin Park ft. The X-Ecutioners hits the PA system. The arena goes dark, a dim blue hue covers the arena, and white strobe lights begin to flash at the entrance. Watch them flee... Watch them flee. Wa...watch them flee. [Hip Hop hits] *Scratch**Scratch* And you do it like this... The crowd voices its disapproval as Chris Bryte saunters out of the locker room with his arms extended into the air; as always, he's wearing his trademark shades. Behind him, wearing an olive green tank top, dirty blue jeans and tan boots, lurks THE HAND~! He looks on stoically as Chris Bryte taunts the ringside fans before heading down to the ring, where Michael Buffer and referee Charles Robinson await. BUFFER The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall and has a 15- minute time limit. Introducing first, weighing in at a total combined weight of 553 pounds...here is the team of THE HAND~!...and...CHRIIISSSSSSS BRRRRRRYYYYYYYYTE! The crowd boos wildly in the background as the pair continues their path to ringside. COLE Yes, fans! It's Chris Bryte and The Hand in tag team action here tonight against "J-Dogg" Johnny Gunn and...well... COACH Some bum. COLE Well...yes. Last week, J-Dogg made this challenge, saying that he could pick any bum off the streets as his tag team partner, bring him or her into the ring, and together, they could defeat Chris Bryte and The Hand. CABOOSE J-Dogg is an idiot. Like I said before, anyone that would WILLINGLY step into the ring with a monster like The Hand is either a bloody fool, or he's friggin' suicidal. Gunn should've taken a page out of Panther's book and just left this fight alone. COLE Well...on that note, 'Boose, Panther hasn't exactly declined that challenge from Chris Bryte and The Hand. We've yet to get a clear answer from him. CABOOSE Clear answer?! The man came on TV and openly said that he's afraid of The Hand. He doesn't want any part of him! C'mon Cole. COLE Well...maybe you're right. Right now, let's focus on this match. COACH Yeah! I can't wait to see who J-Dogg's partner is...I bet it's Hammer! COLE Will you... COACH What?! It could be Hammer! COLE (scoffs)...Hammer. Now in the ring, Bryte and The Hand glare back up at the stage, awaiting their opponents' arrival. Bryte's music dies down, the arena goes dark, and we're greeted by the familiar chimes of Eminem's "The Way I Am." The crowd gives a good-sized pop as bright blue spotlights fill the arena. The camera focuses on the entrance, where J-Dogg steps out from the locker room. He's wearing a black singlet with red trim, with a "BEWARE OF DOGG" sign etched on the front. He's got a mic in his right hand, and when he reaches the top of the ramp, he raises his hand into the air, signalling to the tech crew to cut the music. The music dies down, the lights return to normal, and a slight chant of "J-Dogg" starts up in the crowd, bringing a smile to Gunn's face. He slowly raises the mic to his lips, points down to ringside and begins to speak. J-DOGG Bryte Man! (crowd boos) So you and your goon there decided to take me up on my little challenge. Great! That's just great. But...uh...before we get this little party started...Bryte, lemme just make one thing clear: last week...when you said that I could pick anybody...any bum off the streets...uh...did you truly mean *anybody*? In the ring, Bryte nods affirmatively. Gunn can hardly contain his laughter on stage. J-DOGG You're sure, now? (Bryte nods again) Goodie! In that case, tech crew, you know what to do! COLE Tech crew? What does he mean by...??? Suddenly the arena lights drop, and "State Prop (You Know Us)" hits the PA system. The crowd goes WILD in the background as, after approximately 5 seconds... *BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!* ...a HUUUUGE pyro blast goes off on stage (nearly killing J-Dogg in the process). Flashing red and white spotlights swarm the arena, momentarily roaming the crowd before converging on the entrance, where a dark figure appears through a thick roll of smoke. Chris Bryte's jaw is hanging as he looks on from the ring. Standing behind J-Dogg, wearing a dusty brown suit, with a tattered top hat on his head and an open can of beans in one hand is none other than... COACH Oh my God, IT'S HAMMER~! COLE It's...NO! That's not Hammer...IT'S PANTHER!!!!!! Panther is J-Dogg's partner! CABOOSE Wha...no! How can this be?! He hasn't accepted the challenge! HE DOESN'T WORK HERE! COLE J-Dogg said *anybody* off the street! Bryte agreed to the stipulation, and now it appears as if those words are gonna bite him in the ass. And Caboose, I think that Bryte may have just gotten his answer to that challenge. On stage, Panther and Gunn--longtime enemies--glare intensely at one another. Panther then tosses the tattered hat into the crowd, tears off his suit (revealing his "Panther 215" ring gear underneath), then slaps J-Dogg on the neck. The men then turn and, together, they sprint down the ramp towards ringside. The lights quickly return to normal and the music stops abruptly as the two slide into the ring. *DING DING DING* Gunn runs right into a hard clothesline from The Hand as Panther goes straight for Bryte, sending him scrambling through the ropes and to the outside. Panther shouts obscenities at Bryte from the ring, leaving himself open to a blindside attack from The Hand. Clubbing forearm to the back sends Panther staggering into the ropes. The Hand follows up with a second strike to the head, before grabbing Panther by the left arm and sending him into the far side. Panther ducks a clothesline coming off and goes into the other side. He ducks another clothesline attempt and slips behind The Hand, where J-Dogg is waiting for him. Together, they place the flat of their boots into the back of The Hand's left and right knee respectively, sending him to his knees. From there, they rock the big man with stereo kicks to the chest, which is followed up by a stereo basement dropkicks--sandwiching The Hand's head and sending him straight to the canvas in pain. With the crowd rallying behind them, Panther and Gunn run to opposite sides of the ring and leap out to the apron, where they begin to measure The Hand. As the injured monster lay prone in the center of the ring, Panther and Gunn sling themselves to the top rope and springboard off, simultaneously landing on The Hand with a frog splash (Panther) and a leg drop (Gunn). Panther and Gunn spring back to their feet and thrust their arms into the air, as LOUD chants of "PANTHER, PANTHER" echo throughout the arena! COLE Listen to this crowd! CABOOSE I'd rather not, thank you very much! COLE Panther and J-Dogg are solidly in control! The Hand is down... COACH But watch Bryte! As Panther and Gunn continue to celebrate, Bryte springboards off the top rope and catches Panther square on the jaw with a jumping side kick, catching him with enough force to send him tumbling out to the arena floor. Bryte then charges at Gunn, missing with a clothesline and catching an open-hand strike to the chest for his troubles. An overhand right sends Bryte staggering back into the ropes, at which point, Gunn grabs him and whips him into the far side. Bryte manages to handspring into the ropes, but as he's snapping back for the elbow, J-Dogg ducks under, handsprings into the ropes himself and catches Bryte square on the jaw with an elbow of his own! Bryte groggily returns to his feet, where J-Dogg lifts him up and plants him in the center of the ring with a devastating Michinoku Driver. J-Dogg pops right back to his feet and points down at Bryte, drawing a huge pop from the crowd. COLE Chris Bryte is down in the center of the ring...and now J-Dogg is calling for something! What's he setting up for? CABOOSE Get up, Chris! With Bryte still down in the center of the ring, J-Dogg hits off the ropes, makes a diving somersault over Bryte's body and springs to the top rope, catching Bryte coming off with a nicely executed Sky twister press. The crowd comes to its feet as Bryte convulses in the middle of the ring. COLE Wow! Can you believe that move by Johnny Gunn? CABOOSE Absolutely not. I've never seen a move so contrived in my life! COLE Stop it! J-Dogg's in control of this one, fans, and could it be about time for what he likes to call The Dogg's Bite? If he hits it, this could be all! The Dogg's Bite (a Stunner from Handspring position) appears to be what Gunn is going for, as he's signalling to the roaring crowd. Clutching his chest and ribs, Bryte slowly begins to pull himself back to his feet, with J-Dogg hovering above him--measuring Bryte as the crowd rabidly supports him. Bryte pulls himself to a knee, then back to a vertical base, at which point Gunn hits off the ropes and dives at him with the flying bodyscissors. The crowd is at a fever pitch, sensing that the end's near, but as J-Dogg springs back up to complete the Dogg's Bite... ...THE HAND~! rushes in and grabs him by the throat. J-Dogg's eyes look ready to pop out of the socket as The Hand grips J-Dogg's neck with both hands, squeezing as hard as possible. J-Dogg fires off a few right hands to The Hand's head, desperately trying to break his death grip, but its no use, as The Hand quickly chokes the cruiserweight down to the mat. Panther re-enters the ring, looking to help his partner out, but... *CRACK* ...a timely roundhouse kick from Bryte sends Panther falling into the ropes, with his arms becoming tangled in the process. With Panther incapacitated, Bryte rushes him, catching him by the head and pounding him with a series of short right hands to the temple. Meanwhile, The Hand continues to choke the life out of J-Dogg on the canvas. Referee Robinson approaches him, imploring him to break the choke. ROBINSON C'mon, Hand! You're gonna kill him! Break the choke! 1...2...3...4......5! RING THE BELL! *DING DING DING* BUFFER Your winners, as a result of a disqualification, "J-Dogg" Johnny Gunn and Panther! COLE Panther and J-Dogg win this thing via DQ, but this thing is far from over! Panther's trapped in the ropes, and The Hand...The Hand's still got that choke applied! COACH Look at J-Dogg! J-Dogg's face has turned beet red as The Hand continues to strangle him. Blood is now beginning to trickle from J-Dogg's mouth as Bryte points the scene out to Panther. "Is this what you want?!" Bryte says. "This is what's waiting for you, Panther! This is what'll happen to you!" *DING DING DING DING DING* The bell sounds once more as a bevy of officials rush out from the locker room. They hit the ring, hoping to end the assault, but Bryte quickly cuts them down with a series of martial arts kicks and strikes. On the canvas, blood continues to floor from J-Dogg's mouth as his limbs--which once flailed wildly--slowly begin to fall limp. The Hand continues to squeeze as Panther struggles to free himself from the ropes. *DING DING DING DING DING DING* More officials and a few security guards rush the ring, but once again, Bryte uses his martial arts background to stop them. On the canvas, The Hand continues to squeeze...he's squeezing so hard that blood is now beginning to gush out of J-Dogg's mouth and nose. *DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING* COLE Stop ringing the damn bell and get some more help out here! The Hand is trying to kill J-Dogg. J-Dogg has now gone completely limp, but The Hand is unrelenting, refusing to break his grip on the smaller wrestler. Suddenly, a slight pop comes up from the crowd as Panther manages to get his arms free. Bryte makes a quick exit from the ring as Panther rushes The Hand and stomps him right in the head. A second shot from Panther causes The Hand to release his grip on J-Dogg, and the big man shoots a psychotic glare at Panther that brings a little bit of fear to his face. The Hand slowly rises to his feet and starts towards Panther, but before he can attack, about a dozen cops as security guards hit the ring and grab him. The crowd boos The Hand as the officers apply the cuffs to him. The Hand merely laughs, and shoots a sinister smile Panther's way before being ushered out of the ring and back to up the ramp towards the locker room. Panther takes a long, hard look at The Hand before looking down at the canvas, where his longtime rival lay motionless on the canvas. EMTs enter the ring to attend to J-Dogg. COLE My God. Fans...J-Dogg is hurt badly. CABOOSE That's an understatement, Cole. J-Dogg...I can't tell...is he even breathing? COLE I...I...this is bad. Panther looks on as the EMTs continue to work on J-Dogg. EMT #1 He's got no pulse. A look of concern mixed with frustration comes across Panther's face as he continues to watch, unsure of just what he should do next. He then kneels down next to J-Dogg's head...his eyes riddled with confusion. PANTHER J...get up! EMT #2 I think... PANTHER J! Get up, man! EMT #2 Sir...I think...he's gone! Panther looks over at the EMT, stunned. PANTHER Wha...what the fuck do you mean "he's gone"?! EMT #1 Sir...if you please... PANTHER J! Get up, man! Get up! EMT #2 Sir, please calm down! PANTHER Shut up! J, get your ass up, man...GET THE FUCK UP! Panther shoves the EMT's aside and slaps J-Dogg HARD across the face, but gets no response. Outraged, Panther grabs Gunn by the hair and begins pounding away, nailing him in the forehead with wild right hands before being wrestled to the canvas by a group of officials. Panther breathes deep, rapid breaths as more EMTs head out to ringside with a stretcher for J-Dogg. COLE This is...horrible. Absolutely horrible. (The show fades out as Cole mutters those words over and over again.)

OAOAST HeldDOWN~! Those of us who aren’t deaf hear “I Like” by Katy Rose play. Those of who aren’t blind see the opening video. And those of us who can’t get any play settle in for another episode of OAOAST.... The show opens inside the arena, sans any opening theme, pyro display, or roaring crowd. Instead, the fans are booing loudly, as the arena lights shine down on a lone figure, standing in center ring. He is the Savior of the OAOAST. He is The Franchise. He is the World Heavyweight Champion. ZACK MALIBU stands in the ring, dressed casually in jeans and a grey New York Rangers T-shirt. Despite his laid back appearance, the look on the champions face says otherwise, as he stands in the ring, snarling at the crowd. The fans are already on him tonight, as a chant of "Zack's A Hack" breaks out, spreading like wildfire from the floor level all the way to the cheap seats. Malibu tenses up, arching his eyebrow at the crowd, as he's ready to respond. MALIBU Shut up...shut up...WOULD EVERYONE JUST SHUT THE HELL UP!? As if the crowd would listen. Instead, the chant gets stronger and louder, with nearly every fan in the house participating. "ZACK'S A HACK!" "ZACK'S A HACK!" Refusing to be belittled by the "lowlife scum", Malibu takes the mic to his lips again, ready to unleash a verbal barrage of hate on the crowd. MALIBU Look at you people, each and every one of you, acting as if you're better than me. You people think you can talk down to me? ME? Do you know who I am? You should all be kissing my ass for helping keep this company in business! You wouldn't be here without me! The crowd does not respond in kind. Malibu could care less. MALIBU What, are you people mad you didn't get your bootleg Fourth of July fireworks display? Tough shit. I called opening spot tonight for a very good reason. I wanted to come out here and talk about someone who hasn't been taking their job very seriously as of late. COACH Mikey, you're in trouble! COLE ME? CABOOSE If anyone in this booth is going, it's got to be the Walking Hard-On next to me. COACH That's what I said...Mikey! MALIBU See, last time I checked, we had a big pay per view coming up in just (holds one finger up to the camera) one week. In one week, I'm stuck defending my title, the belt that menas more to this sport than any other person or any other thing, against a girl who must have listened to too many Spice Girls songs in her day. Crystal, you think this "girl power" phenomenon is something to be proud of? Honey, let's face it...I'm the star, and YOU...YOU are the novelty act! "Female Phenom"? What the hell are you trying to prove...that you're as butch as us guys? Or are you just a groupie that's happy to get all sweaty with the muscle men because that's how you get off? COLE Uncalled for. CABOOSE Coachman's fantasizing about it. The men, I mean. MALIBU Not to mention, Crystal, that this title shot means soooooooo much to you...yet last week, here on HeldDOWN~! you were nowhere to be found! Not even doing an interview...not even drawing hype to yourself! You have done nothing...NOTHING that makes me think you deserve this title shot! You sit at home, or wherever you were, and watch me come out here and take on all comers, week in and week out? Now, some people might call that "smart strategy". You've all seen the caliber of talent I've had to deal with, and a lot of you think I'm wearing myself thin. You're all wrong however...I'm merely tuning up, not because I need to, but because I want to. I want to be in prime condition come License To Pin. I want to be on top of my game just to show you, Crystal, just to prove to you that you will never, EVER, reach my level IN YOUR LIFE! You say that you want the playing field even this time around? Honey, it was NEVER even, because I'm *that* much better than you, and then some. You are a JOKE. You think that because you got a fluke pin over me IN A TAG MATCH, or that you made me submit in a match with SIX OTHER PEOPLE IN IT, that it makes you a threat to me? Chrissy, it makes you LUCKY! All you are is a dreamer. You have aspirations of gold, but your talent lies in a cesspool. You know why these people love you, Crystal? It's because they don't know any better! These two-toothed, mongoloid scumpuppets think that a pair of breasts makes you their queen...and those are just the female fans! Don't even get me started on these guys out here, who's only experience with a vagina was when they exited their mothers! COLE That is just...folks, we apologize! MALIBU (looking into the camera, heated) I have had it...HAD IT with you people! I have had it with people who think they can take advantage of who I am, using my celebrity to get ahead. I'm sick and tired of this company leeching off my name because I once made the mistake of giving a damn about it. I am SICK AND TIRED of the Sly's, the Northstar's, the Leon Rodez's, the Michael Cole's, the Josh Matthews', the camera men...EVERYONE, ALL OF YOU, YOU ALL MAKE A LIVING BECAUSE OF ME, AND YOU TREAT ME THIS WAY? IT HAS GOT TO STOP! IT IS GOING TO STOP! IT IS GOING...it's going to stop. Crystal, you've chosen this path for yourself, and now this is what comes to pass. Next week, come License To Pin, the subtitle is right...This Ain't Oz. I realize it's a nice play on words given the popularity of the HBO show, but it's also got a nice reference to the classic Wizard of Oz story. It's just that Crystal, you aren't Dorothy, and the yellow brick road is only going to lead you to a world of hurt. I tried to tell you, and I've even tried to show you that this feud, it can't lead to any good for you. Next week, at License To Pin, it's what it all comes down to. I'm going to walk down that aisle, look you in the eye, and when it's all said and done, you'll be in the one position you seem to enjoy the most...flat on your back! With that, Malibu tosses the mic over his shoulder and exits the ring, as the fans jeer wildly. "Nothing" kicks up to signal Zack's exit from the arena, as he avoids any contact with fans while heading up the ramp. We then cut over to Sofa Central, as our fearless hosts are FINALLY ready to welcome us to tonights show. COLE Folks, I’m deeply sorry you had to had sit through that bitter tirade. The champ has lost it. And soon he’ll lose his belt also. I am Michael Cole, joined by Caboose and Jonathan Coachman and we are live from Santa Fe, New Mexico. What a show we have planned for you tonight. COACH We’ve got ass, titties, and big booty bitches as the devilish diva, Candie takes on the fitness model from hell, Krista Isadora Duncan! Plus, Drek Stone takes on my man, Sly! And Hoff will be in action against the future Mrs.Coachman, Crystal! CABOOSE And we’ll be back! (Go to break)

COLE This next match was announced earlier this afternoon. These two have met once before, back when Crystal had the 24/7 title, but the match was ultimately indecisive. Now, Hoff has the title, but I’m not sure that’s what this match is really about. COACH: My girl actually asked for this match not for the title so much, but for a measure of revenge on AJ’s part. COLE Well, at least until Gunner gets his hands on Hoff. CABOOSE Hoff will destroy Crystal, just like he destroyed AJ, and just like, in the near future, how he’ll destroy Gunner Sharps. CUE: “Set it Off” by Audioslave “Hailing from Coquitlam, British Columbia, weighing at 150 pounds, CRYSTAL!” ::Crystal emerges from the smoke and walks to the ring. She slaps hands as she makes her way, occasionally pointing at “Crystal” signs. She gets in the ring and poses on the second turnbuckle, smiling to the crowd before doing some last minute warm-ups.:: CABOOSE She better wipe that smile off her face now, or Hoff will wipe it off for her! CUE “Black” by Sevendust “And hailing from Minneapolis, Minnesota, weighing in at 275 lbs, he’s the 24/7 Champion and part of the Thrillogy, HOFF!” ::Hoff saunters down to the ring and smirks condescendingly to the crowd. He fires back at fans who are throwing insults at him, but one fan in the front row makes a comment that particularly annoys him. An argument occurs between the two, which distracts Hoff. After getting fed up with the fan, Hoff turns around to head to the ring, only to get met with Crystal’s baseball slide:: DING! DING! DING! Crystal punches Hoff and grabs him by the hair to toss him in the ring. Hoff stumbles up in the ring only to get aquatinted with Crystal’s flying forearm! Hoff slowly gets to one knee, which Crystal takes advantage of and performs a shining wizard! She quickly goes for the pin 1! Kickout. CABOOSE If Crystal thinks that Hoff will go down that easily, she’s in for a loooong night. Hoff sits up and Crystal gives a hard kick to the back. She then runs the ropes and does a neck snap on the still sitting Hoff. Coming off the opposite ropes, she dropkicks Hoff’s face! COLE Crystal is using her speed and hit-and-run tactics to ground a much stronger Hoff. As Hoff struggles to get up, Crystal stays behind, out of view from Hoff, and clips him from behind, taking out his left knee! Crystal picks up his leg, and slams the knee to the mat! She takes Hoff’s left ankle with both hands for leverage, and pushes on the front of his knee as far as she can, trying to hyper-extend it. Hoff screams in pain before grabbing Crystal by the hair and pulling her off. Crystal’s undaunted though, and quickly pushes her self up and runs towards Hoff. When she meets him, she’s met with a right hand! She staggers a bit, and Hoff sends her off to the corner. He runs towards her, but Crystal thinks quickly and puts her boot up. When that doesn’t faze Hoff much, she soccer kicks his left knee, and he goes down! COACH Crystal’s chopping down the monster. Ya know, she’s one smart cookie. CABOOSE Well, wait until that monster wakes up. Then Crystal is in for some trouble. Crystal goes on the outside and drags Hoff into the corner, so the post is in between his legs. She takes his left leg, and swings it, smashing his knee to the post! She does it again, with Hoff screaming. She gets back inside just before the ref gets to 8, and goes back to the corner. By this time, Hoff is getting up, with the help of the ropes. Crystal kicks him in the stomach once, and mounts the second rope, signaling for the ten-punch! “1!” “2!”“3!” “4!” “5!” “6!” At 6, Hoff pushes her off. Crystal rolls back on her front and gets up, only to be met with a vicious clothesline! He then picks up a woozy Crystal, and gives her a gutwretch suplex, slightly favoring his knee. CABOOSE Hoff’s so powerful, that even with one knee, he can throw around Crystal like a ragdoll! So much for that strategy! He picks her up again, and drops Crystal with a brainbuster. He covers her. 1! 2! Kickout! Crystal gets on all fours to try to get up, but Hoff has different plans. He measures her up, and drops his left knee in the back of Crystal’s head. COLE He did that just to spite her! CABOOSE I think that’s Hoff’s way of saying that her strategy of taking out his legs ain’t going to cut it! Hoff roughly picks up Crystal, who’s holding the back of her head. He carelessly tosses her to the corner. Before he can deliver a clothesline, Crystal drops down, and rolls away from the corner. Hoff turns around after the clothesline attempt, only to get his head hooked by Crystal. She, with Hoff’s head hooked, goes for the tornado DDT. In mid-move, he counters into a northern lights suplex! COACH Ouch! 1! 2! Kickout! Hoff goes to pick up Crystal, when he suddenly hears the cheers of the crowd. Curiously, he turns around to see what all the commotion is about, and his eyes widen when he sees. “Gunner! Gunner! Gunner!” CABOOSE Hey! He has no business being here! With Hoff complaining to the ref, and yelling at Gunner, Crystal takes advantage of the distraction, and rolls up Hoff with a schoolgirl. 1! 2! Kickout! Gunner continues to look on, staying at the corner. Crystal seems to have her second wind, as she runs to the ropes, and delivers a flying headscissors! Hoff staggers up, and Crystal, showing her tenacity, dropkicks his left knee to get the big man down. Crystal locks in the half boston crap, back towards the entrance, to wear down the let knee when the crowd suddenly boos. She lets go to see what the noise is for, and sees the OAOAST World Champion, Zack Malibu! CABOOSE Finally! Someone to even up the score! COLE Even up the score? Gunner hasn’t even done anything yet! Now it’s Crystal’s turn to be distracted. She continues yelling at Zack when Gunner’s voice of warning makes her turn around. She sees Hoff coming and delivers a drop toe hold! Hoff is laid out on the second rope, and Crystal goes to the outside on the apron, gets a running start, and legdrops Hoff’s head! Both of them land on the outside. There, Zack jerks around Crystal, and starts talking trash to her. Crystal says something to aggrivate him, and he takes a swing, but Crystal ducks! Instead of firing back, she drops down to the ground. Zack looks at her confusingly, only to get met with a clothesline from Gunner! Crystal gets up and smirks at a pained Zack, but Hoff snaps her back to reality, and throws her back in. She goes for a kick in the stomach, but Hoff easily catches her foot, smirking. She hobbles around until Hoff spins her around, and Crystal hits a dragon whip! She runs the ropes, only to get tripped up my an recovered Zack. Gunner goes for him again, and they are at it again! Meanwhile, Hoff recovers, and irish whips Crystal to the ropes, she bounces back, and hits a swinging Flashback! As this is going on, the brawl on the outside has escalated, and has moved on in into the ring! The ref, having lost all control, rings the bell. That doesn’t matter to any of the four in the ring though, because they continue fighting anyways. Gunner and Crystal work together to clothesline Zack out of the ring, and to back bodydrop a recovered Hoff out of the ring! The two Thrillogy members help each other up while Crystal whispers something to Gunner. He nods and gets on all fours while Crystal runs the ropes, hops off Gunner’s back, and dives on the World and 24/7 champions! She recovers quickly, gets in a couple of shots on Zack, and gets back in the ring, high-fiving Gunner. COACHThis is insane! The referee goes to the announcer and tells him something, who nods his head in response. “This contest has been declared a No-Contest. HOWEVER, the ref has ruled that since all four competitors are here, we are going to have a Tag Team Match pitting Crystal and Gunner Sharps against Zack Malibu and Hoff!” The crowd goes BANANA as we head into a commercial break. COLE Don’t go away folks, we’ll be right back! *COMMERCIAL* Drink Aaron Burr Beer Aaron Burr Beer: Tastes like being shot. *END COMMERCIAL* COLE Folks, welcome back to HeldDown, and if you just tuned in you missed a hell of a development! COACH That's right, the match in the ring was SUPPOSED to be Hoff vs. Crystal! But, due to the interference from Zack Malibu and Gunner Sharps, it's been turned into a tag match by the official! In the ring, Hoff cinches in on Crystal with a rear chinlock. CABOOSE You know, that damn Gunner ought to be suspended again, he's the cause of all this! COLE Can you blame him? I'd want to get my hands on Hoff too! Crystal tries to fight to one knee, but Hoff powers her back down with the chinlock. COACH Hoff is in control right now. CABOOSE Thank God for that. COLE Fans, here's what you missed during the commercial break. "During the Break" rolls by on the screen, and we see Hoff and the World Champion, Zack Malibu, being sent to one corner by the official, and Crystal and Gunner Sharps to another. Crystal steps into the ring and turns to confer with Gunner, and Hoff darts in and plasters her from behind with a clothesine! The "HeldDOWN" logo flashes as we cut back to the match in progress. COACH Hoff hit my girl with a cheap shot-- CABOOSE Now, now, it was a smart tactic! COLE Nonetheless, it's allowed Hoff to get the upper hand here. Hoff jaws at Gunner while he pulls back on the chinlock, and Gunner leans into the ring and yells back. Hoff smirks, but Gunner turns away and waves his arms to the crowd! The fans begin to cheer and stomp as Crystal shoots an arm into the air! Hoff's mouth opens and he shakes his head, but Crystal fights to her knees! Crystal throws an elbow to Hoff's gut! Another! One more, and Hoff breaks the hold! Crystal slips out and turns to face Hoff, catching him with a beautiful dropsault! Hoff staggers back, and Crystal charges, spilling him over the top rope! COLE Oh yeah! COACH Go Crystal! Zack looks down at Hoff in shock, then turns back to Crystal, who BLASTS him with a forearm! Zack staggers and falls off the apron! The fans go MAD as Crystal grabs the top rope, and dives out of the ring onto Hoff! But Hoff catches her! CABOOSE Ah ha! Hoff keeps a hold of Crystal, charging at the ringpost and driving her back into the steel! The fans boo as Crystal's back arches, and Hoff drops her to the ground with a thud. Hoff quickly checks on Zack, who gets to his feet...and the two Thrillogy members begin stomping away at Crystal! COLECome on! COACH Oh wait, here come Gunner! Gunner hops off the apron and stalks over to the scene. Hoff looks up and quickly slides back into the ring, and Zack shies off of Crystal! Gunner kneels down to check on Crystal, and Zack begins to taunt him! COLE Zack Malibu can sure run his mouth. CABOOSE He's charismatic! Gunner stands up and stalks over to Zack, but the referee leans out of the ring and breaks it up. Gunner turns to head back to his corner...but Hoff slingshots over the top rope and floors Gunner with a diving cross body splash! COACH Big move by Hoff! Hoff gets to his feet and begins throwing insults down at Gunner, but gets hit from behind by Crystal! Zack rushes Crystal, but the Female Phenom sees him coming and catches him with a big chop that sends him down! Crystal turns back to face Hoff, and catches him with a stiff shot to the temple! Hoff spins and staggers away, but Crystal grabs him by the tights and rolls him back into the ring! COLE Back to the action in the squared circle! The ref sends Zack and Gunner to their respective corners, after the two men exchange a few words. In the ring, Crystal pulls Hoff up to his feet and stings him with a big knife edge chop! Hoff reels, and Crystal chops him again! Hoff lands in the ropes, and Crystal whips him off, but Hoff reverses! Crystal comes off the far side and ducks a clothesline, but Hoff catches her off the other side with a SPINEBUSTER~! COACH There's the power advantage coming into play again! Both Hoff and Crystal go down after the vicious front spinebuster. Gunner begins pounding the turnbuckle, but the fans boo as Hoff beats her to her feet. Hoff smiles as Crystl slowly gets to her knees. Hoff saunters over to the Phenom and grabs her ankle...but Crystal kicks her leg free! Before Hoff can react, Crystal dives and makes the tag to Gunner Sharps!! The fans ROAR as Gunner rushes into the ring, but Hoff quickly makes the tag out to Zack Malibu!! COLE What? Come on, is Hoff scared of Gunner? CABOOSE He's tired, Cole! That spinebuster took a lot out of him! COACH Uh-huh, sure. CABOOSE Shut up, poppyseed. COACH ...huh? The fans jeer as Zack slowly gets into the ring. Zack and Gunner size each other up, pacing, before moving in for the tie-up, but Zack ducks under Gunner's guard! Zack trips Gunner in a drop toe hold, taking the big man down, and quickly slapping on a side headlock. Zack releases the hold just as quick, and hops up before pouncing on Gunner with a falling elbow drop. Zack finds his feet, and drops another elbow to the back of Gunner's neck! CABOOSE Zack is way too quick for that oaf! COLE Gunner Sharps has been out of action for a while...he may be a bit rusty! Zack gets to his feet again and comes off the ropes before dropping a lightning-fast leg across the neck of Gunner. Gunner rolls over, holding his neck, which allows Zack to drop a knee across Gunner's face. Zack stays on the mat and begins choking Gunner, as Hoff laughs and cheers him on. CABOOSE I've said it before, but I love Zack's mean streak...I really do. The referee pulls Zack off of Gunner, but Crystal comes in the ring to break it up as well! The official turns his attention to Crystal...which allows Hoff to come into the ring! The fans boo as both Thrillogy teammates lay some boots into Gunner! As the ref eases Crystal back out of the ring, Hoff slaps his hands together. CABOOSE That's a textbook Greco-Roman fake tag right there. COLEPlease. Zack exits onto the apron as Hoff paces around Gunner, smiling. COLE Aw come on, sure! Now that Gunner's down, Hoff wants in! COACH You know it Michael, Hoff is ever the opportunist. Hoff kicks Gunner cockily a couple times. On the third kick, though, Gunner reaches a hand out and grabs Hoff's foot! Hoff quickly backs away, kicking his foot free before putting a boot to Gunner's head. Hoff leans down and curses at Gunner before pulling him up. CABOOSE Here we go. Gunner wanted Hoff? Well he's got him! The fans boo as Hoff cockily slaps Gunner across the face. Gunner reels...then spins back and FLOORS Hoff with a clothesline! The fans go NUT! CABOOSE NO! Hoff runs to a neutral corner, looking for a tag, but no one's home! Hoff spins around, and Gunner meets him with a huge fist to the face! Hoff's head whips back as Gunner pummels him with a series of big right hands! Gunner whips Hoff out of the corner and to the opposite turnbuckle, and Hoff CRUMPLES in the corner! Gunner CHARGES -- but Hoff rolls away at the last second and Gunner's shoulder hits the post! Hoff staggers over to his corner and makes the tag back to the World Champ! COLE Hoff quickly getting out of harm's way there. Zack comes in as Gunner stumbles out of the corner, and Zack seizes the opportunity by reaching up and dropping Gunner with a neckbreaker! Gunner falls, and Zack laughs as he heads to the opposite corner! The fans jeer as Zack smiles, and begins stomping the mat! COACH I think Zack senses that Gunner's ready for the kill! The fans shower Zack in boos, stomp the floor to alert Gunner, but Gunner gets up ever so slowly. Zack crouches, then steps forward as Gunner turns...but Gunner DUCKS! And the kick strikes the referee!! COLEOh my! Zack looks down at the referee he floored with his errant superkick, not sure what to do next. Zack turns to face Gunner..... AND GETS DRILLED WITH THE MOTHERFUCKING IMPACT SPEAR!!! COLE SHARP END! THE SHARP END FROM GUNNER!! The fans go ballistic as Gunner folds the Champ in half with that sick spear! Gunner quickly makes a cover, but the ref is down! Gunner goes over to the referee, trying to stir him...when Hoff calls out from the corner!! HOFF "I'M THE ONE YOU WANT!" Gunner looks up, startled, to see Hoff nodding with a sick smile on his face. CABOOSE No! What is he THINKING? Gunner looks at Hoff tenatively, and Hoff steps into the ring. Gunner takes a slow step toward Hoff, and another...and Hoff points behind Gunner! COLE What's he...oh no! The fans begin to boo as a figure hops the guardrail! COACH It's Calvin! Calvin Szechstein hops the rail and yanks Crystal off the apron! Cal blasts a surprised Crystal with a right hand, and Crystal goes down! COLE Calvin Szechstien isn't supposed to be in this match! CABOOSE Well, hey, neither are Zack or Gunner! COACH What I want to know is, how do these Thrillogy guys always manage to hide in the crowd? Gunner stalks over to Calvin, looking down...until he's blasted from behind by Hoff! Hoff grabs a reeling Gunner Sharps by the back of the head and hooks him in a reverse facelock, shouting "this is it, baby!" COLE Oh no, is Hoff gonna go for that Future Shock we saw last week? COACH Can he even get a man as big as Gunner up for it? CABOOSE You better believe it! And, as Cal points to him and cheers, Hoff rears back...and lifts Gunner up to the lights!! COLE My God, that's over seven feet, over three hundred pounds, and-- OH! Hoff drops Gunner with the sitout reverse brainbuster now known as the Future Shock! CABOOSE WHAT A MOVE! Variant on the Screwdriver, but Hoff has transcended it into something even better! COLE Simply devastating. Hoff, smiling all the while, rolls over into the lateral press on Gunner... BUT THERE'S NO REF!! CABOOSE Aw, bollocks! The damn ref's still out! Hoff tries to get the referee back to conciousness! Meanwhile, on the outside, Crystal has recovered, and nails Calvin with a LOW BLOW to the delight of the fans! COACH Yeah! CABOOSE That's not fair! Crystal slides into the ring as Hoff tries to wake the referee! Crystal, smooth as silk, slides behind Hoff and grabs him in a rear waistlock! CABOOSE What the -- OHNO! The fans go INSANE as Crystal takes Hoff over with a release German Suplex! COLE Talk about feats of strength!! Crystal pops to her feet, with the fans cheering her on! Hoff lies prone on the canvas, and Crystal looks out to the fans! COACH Yeah! I think they wanna see Hoff tap out! Crystal nods, then heads to Hoff and grabs him by the legs! Hoff twists and turns, trying to fight it, but Crystal gets his legs crossed, and turns him over into the Crystalling!! CABOOSE But there's no ref!! COLE Who cares? Come on Crystal, make him tap! Hoff reaches out for the ropes, reaches.....and taps out!!! But there's STILL no ref!! Crystal leans back into the hold, causing Hoff to scream! Crystal turns her head back and yells down at Hoff, then turns her head back AND GETS CAUGHT WITH A SCHOOL'S OUT BY ZACK MALIBU!! CABOOSE YES! Aw, I knew Zack wouldn't stay down! Zack looks down as Crystal slumps to the mat, breaking the hold. Hoff rolls out of the ring, and Calvin shakes the referee from the outside, finally bringing the official back around! Zack makes a cover! COACH But he's not the legal man! COLE How can you even tell anymore?! The referee slowly makes his count! ONE!!! TWO!!! KICKOUT!!!!!! The fans go completely crazy as Zack can't believe it! He gets to his feet after slapping the mat in frustration, beckoning Crystal up! Zack hovers over her, and Crystal gets to her feet...but so does Gunner Sharps!! CABOOSE Zack, look out!! Zack waits for Crystal to turn around...but suddenly dives away as Gunner comes barreling in! Zack dodges, and Gunner spears CRYSTAL!!! COACH Oh, dag!! COLE Gunner accidentally hit Crystal with that huge spear!! Crystal crumples as Gunner gets to his feet, looking down at Crystal in shock. Gunner puts his hands to his temples as he turns around....right into School's Out from Zack!!!!!! COLE What a kick from Zack! COACH How did he get his leg that high! CABOOSE He's the champ, baby!! Gunner falls to the mat and, exhausted, Zack falls on his back on top of Gunner. Zack hooks the outside leg as best he can as the referee makes the count! ONE! TWO! THREE!! *ding ding ding* CABOOSE YES!! What a win for our World's Champion and the Thrillogy! BUFFER Here are your winners...Hoff and ZAAAAACK MALIBU!!!!!!! Zack rolls out of the ring, supporting himself on Hoff and Calvin. The three men walk up the ramp, oblivious to the taunting fans around them. Meanwhile, Gunner and Crystal check on each other, making sure the other is okay. COLE Well what a match this ended up being, guys! COACHYeah, and you've gotta take your hat off to Crystal and Gunner Sharps! CABOOSE Why? They didn't win a thing! In the ring, Gunner apologizes to Crystal who waves it off. Both fan favorites then turn their attention to the top of the ramp, where a very exhausted Thrillogy raise their arms in victory. CABOOSE See, Coach, THERE's your winners. There's the ones you have to take your hat off to-- But Caboose is suddenly cut off...as the arena goes dark!! COACH What? COLE Again?! The fans cheer as the arena remains black. Finally, the AngleTron lights up as an eerie music fills the arena... He who endures his fiery wrath, Will come to regret the wrong path. Those who go searching for thrills and success, Will have to pin him, if they are to past the test. He will come there to her aid, The Game will be over, no more will be played. So if you dream of the darkness, the fog, and the rain, He has chosen you to… FEEL THE PAIN The lights come back on, and the Thrillogy members look at each other, positively spooked. In the ring, Gunner and Crystal look just as puzzled. CABOOSE WHO IS DOING THIS? COLE You don't think...it might be.... COACH Hey! Look at Hoff!! On the ramp, Hoff is absolutely in a fit, SCREAMING at the fans at ringside! The fans begin to taunt him, pointing and laughing, until Zack and Calvin come to calm him down. The three leave the arena, with Hoff sparing one last, angry glance at the arena. COLE Whoever it is, they are totally and thoroughly in Hoff's head. And then, for NO APPARENT REASON, "Set It Off" kicks in over the loudspeakers, and the fans cheer for Crystal and Gunner Sharps as they leave the ring. CABOOSE Now, let's not forget who won. COLE True enough, Zack and Hoff pulled out the victory, but this was only a preview of the brutality we will see at License to Pin: This Ain't Oz. (Go to break) (They return as The Mad Cappa is sitting in front of a TV control room with various OAOAST matches from the past are playing on.) I have a confession to make! I was at this certain Monday night show three nights ago. Well, let me tell ya'! It put me to sleep three times! (Puts up three fingers.) It was THAT bad! Why did I ever go?! At least there's a show every Thursday night that's guarenteed to keep your adrenlin pumpin', your senses excited, and have all the mayhem and entertainment to keep you up! It's the OAOAST HeldDown~! You'll never wanna' check over the "other" Thursday night show after it's all said and through! Announcer: HeldDown~! Presented to you by the OAOAST! Live every Thursday night! Right here, on the Smart Marks Forum! (Return from break) COACH It's now time for the OAOAST Italian Championship match of the evening, as "Reckless" Drek Stone will face Sly Sommers. COLE This was all started earlier tonight, when Sly confronted Drek on accident while searching for Calvin Szechstein throughout this building. With the tensions leading into License to Pin heating up, both men's hot heads prevailed, and we have ourselves a match tonight! CABOOSE Sly has tasted gold before, when he had the X-Division title back last November. Of course, that's before he turned into an overgrown birth canal... COLE Let's just go to the ring!

(Back to the arena) COACH Five thousand dollars is a lot of money! Espically when Logan was turned on by the whole thing! Apparently, he’s into Snuff! COLE Moving on, two weeks ago on HeldDown, the New New Midnight Express were involved in a match against the All American Boys II & III. During that match, NNMX manager James E. Cornette was ejected from ringside by referee Nick Patrick. Little did we know that ejection would lead to further chaos minutes later. COACH The Midnights went on to win their match, but when they returned to their dressing room they found trouble. When the NNMX entered their room, not only did they see their manager James E. Cornette laid out in a pool of blood -- much like the condition Jivin' J.R. was left in 3 weeks back -- but also a message written on the mirror. "Black T was here. PS: Don't turn around." CABOOSE Like a horror, instead of getting the hell out the NNMX decided to turn around, and when they did...boom!...attacked with steel chairs by the tag champs themselves, Black T. Payback for the beating Jivin' J.R. received. COLE Due to those events, the OAOAST board of directors suspended both teams one week without pay. Here's James E. Cornette with some comments recorded earlier tonight. Jim Cornette, wearing a bandage on his forehead, and the New New Midnight Express stand in front of a large OAOAST banner. CORNETTE What a travesty of a suspension that was! Sure, it slightly hurt our wallets, but not as bad as it did to Black T. I mean, without pay, how's T-Bod gonna pay child support to all those kids he's fathered? And how's Dan Black gonna pay for all that plastic surgery to make his ugly-lookin' self look good? Unlike my Midnight Express, Black T have confidence issues. Better bodies? Advantage: NNMX. Better wrestlers: NNMX. Best manager: NNMX. Smarter team? Advantage: NNMX; just look at their handsome-looking manager, smarter than Stephen Hawking, but I let the poor chap have the "smartest man alive" moniker due to the bad cards life's dealt him. But you know what isn't fair about this whole situation? Getting booked in matches you don't want. Two perfect examples: the board of directors sign a match -- a tuxedo match at that -- between myself and that disgrace of a legend turned comedy act, my former best friend, Jivin' J.R; and tonight's match between my Midnight Express and the Global Party XChange -- two guys, when asked who they'd like to see as president of the United States, said Mischa Barton. In two weeks we're facing Black T for the gold, yet we gotta wrestle a top-notch team while Black T sit on their butts backstage watching The Office. You call that fair? Hell, no! The red-faced Cornette takes a moment to compose himself. CORNETTE Simon, let me ask you something. What do the New Kids on the Block, Backstreet Boys, *NSync & 98 Degrees -- hell, just for old times sake, the Rock 'n' Roll Express -- have in common? SIMON (sarcastically, of course) Great bands, Jimmy. And they bang all the hot chicks, which we know is a result of fame, not looks. The thought of Justin Timberlake giving Cameron Diaz an orgasm is sickening. NED The thought of Cameron Manham, Hamburger -- the fat chick from The Practice -- having an orgasm is Jivin' J.R.'s wet dream. SIMON Timberlake? What -- did his parents live near a forest where trees getting chopped down fell into the lake, so they figured "Bingo. Our last name'll be 'Timberlake.'" CORNETTE The answer: What is they're all dead. Those of you at home playing along, if you got the answer right, throw yourself off a bridge. Scotty & Johnny, this ain't Dawson's Creek. Simon & Ned aren't Michelle Williams & Katie Homies. Prepare for the highlight of your lives, because in 50 years when the NNMX are remembered as the greatest tag team in OAOAST history; on your death beds, GPX will say "Thank God for the NNMX. Without them we wouldn't remember our names. God knows the people forgot long ago." Last year I promised the world the man I was managing at the time would cleanse the sins of wrestling's past. Now that I have men actually capable of getting the job done, the OAOAST is doing its damnest to see me fail. Well I hope you punks watch License 2 Pin: This ain't OZ, because not only am I going to beat the jive outta J.R. but the Midnights are gonna strip Black T of their titles and throw them in a cell with two guys named Bubba & Ray. And let me tell you, these are guys you don't want waistlocking you. Haha! Cornette & the NNMX exit the interview area, laughing. COLE Now let's go live backstage, where the OAOAST tag team champions are standing by. Gentlemen, thank you for-- DAN & T-BOD Shut up, Cole! Inside their locker room, Black T are seated, the tag titles gently placed on a small table. DAN Jim Cornette says we have confidence issues. Mr. T, do we have confidence issues? T-BOD Mr. Black...we're smart and rich -- not to mention sexy -- no, I don't believe we have any issues. Wearing his "Danny Hodge: Whadda mean you don't know who he is?" shirt, Jivin' J.R. enters the room. J.R. I'm so excited guys. DAN Watching 'Babe Does Dallas' again, J.R.? J.R. No. I watched that before viewing countless hours of footage involving Hell's Hitmen, NNMX, The Saints & GPX, making sure I have a scouting report ready for each team. Anyway, I'm talking about being in a James Bond movie. I can't belive I'm gonna be in one. T-BOD You mean License 2 Pin? You do know it's not a movie? Right? J.R. Wha...? DAN Its name's inspired by Bond. T-BOD Like the New New Midnight Express is inspired by the Midnight Express. DAN Just without the talent. T-BOD Ooh! J.R. But I bought a tux, ordered some mighty fine bitches to escort me to the ring -- the Jivin' Girls -- and worked on my British accent...The name's Jivin', Jivin' J.R. Dan whistles. DAN (holding a tennis ball) Here boy! Fetch. Go get it. Dan throws the ball on the floor. J.R. chases after it. DAN The OAOAST tag team champions would like to wish the best of luck to the NNMX. As a matter of fact, good luck to both teams. Should they feel the need to use tables, ladders, chairs, low blows, goughing of the eyes, hair pulling, closed-fist, ether, powder in the eyes, or racquets, let the record show Black T approves of these methods. Until next time. T-BOD Beat the hell outta each other! J.R. Butterfly in the sky, flying as twice as high, take a look, it's in a book -- Black T is going over. HeldDOWN~! One Fall, 15 Minute Time-Limit New New Midnight Express vs. The Global Party XChange BUFFER The following contest is set for one fall, with a 15 minute time-limit. CABOOSE Well, we already know the finish. DUM, DUM, DUM, DUM, DUM BUFFER Coming to the ring, to be introduced by their manager. As "Chase" plays the NNMX head to the ring, making an "X" with their two index fingers. Jim Cornette trails them, holding up his tennis racket like its some kind of trophy. CORNETTE They're playboys and lover-boys, beautiful and sweet, bombastic and bodacious, "Sarcastic" Simon & "Narcissistic" Ned -- the New New Midnight Express. BUFFER And their manager, Mr. Jim Cornette. COLE I was talking with Jivin' J.R. earlier today, and he was telling me a story about the time Jim Cornette won a doubles tournament with a partner named Jack. CABOOSE Wait a minute, Cole. What kind of sick sex joke is that? You cry about us continuing with the gay jokes, and you try slandering a good citzen like James E. Shame on you. In a world full of posers, phonies, and wannabees, there finally emerges a group which has come to set the record straight. So, all you suckers better recognize, ya heard can you say uhhh na na na na BUFFER And their opponents, weighing a combine 407 pounds, Soctty Static & Johnny 'Jam' Jackson -- the Global Party XChange! GPX come flying out of the entranceway, jacked up. The arena erupts in a "PARTY" chant, as Teen People's sexiest men alive head for the ring, slapping and shaking hands of their fans. Two fans, wearing black jumpsuits and skelton masks, jump over the guardrails and jam signs into GPX's faces... "GPX -- the dumbing of society" & "The World is Ours!" Security quickly escorts the men out of the area. COLE Fans, we love for you to have a great time at OAOAST events, but please don't jump over the rails into a superstar's face. COACH Those guys look familiar. CABOOSE You're right, those two guys appeared two weeks ago with anti-American signs. COACH They weren't attacking Uncle Sam this time. Now it's GPX. CABOOSE GPX's making more enemies than John Gotti and America. Johnny & Ned go to their respective corners. Scotty Static & Sarcastic Simon will start things off. COLE Collar-and-elbow tieup. Back into the corner. Ref's calling for a clean break. Simon's backing off...Oh, took a swing, but Scotty moved out of the way. Armdrag. Another. Hiptoss, followed up with a dropkick. Simon exits the ring. Look at this. Jim Cornette's consoling him. CABOOSE Nothing wrong with that. If we had more people like Jim Cornette roaming the earth, we wouldn't have things called problems. COACH If we had more Cornette's, warn every Dairy Queen in the country. Ned's tagged in. Struting around the ring, Ned looks at some of the females ringside and says, "Look, don't touch," then twirls his hips ala Elvis. CABOOSE Ha! Look at that. Thousands of women around the world just fainted. Scotty & Ned lock up. Go behind, waistlock. Scotty attempts to worm out of it. Droptoe hold, over the top into a side headlock. Ned whips Static into the ropes. Scotty hops over him. Ned leapfrogs, catches Static coming back off the ropes, scopes him up, but he floats over. Ned looks left and right, only to have Scotty jump on top of him in a victory roll position. Instead of a victory roll, he spins around and executes a hurricaranna. Ned staggers up going towards the wrong corner. Johnny greets him with a big right hand. Ned woobles around...towards Scotty! Again, Ned's nailed with a right. Now he's caught between both members of GPX getting hammered with punches. Johnny slams Blanchard's head into the turnbuckle. Tag made. Ned's stumbling around the ring, with Simon & James E. trying to point him in the right direction. FULL NELSON SLAM! 1...2...Simon disrupts the count. THESZ PRESS! Scotty caught Simon with a Lou Thesz Press. Now he's plumping away with fists to the face. The referee's trying to get both illegal men out of the ring; in the process, allowing Jim Cornette to his racket to Ned. WHAM! Across the back of Johnny 'Jam.' 1... 2... 3--Kickout! Johnny incredibly managed to kickout. 'The Narcissistic One' pounds the mat in frustation. He -- and so did a majority of the people watching -- belived that was it, this match was over. Blanchard drives the flat of the boot against the side of Johnny's face before tagging in Simon. But he isn't done delivering further damage as he whips Jackson in the ropes...droptoe hold...bam...elbow-drop by Singleton. COACH Classic MX, or NNMX in this case. Aw, hell, every version of the Midnight's used that very move. COLE Simple and effective. Simon heads to the top, the crowd boos. CABOOSE They aren't booing the high-risk attempt. COLE They're booing the World tag team champions, Black T, making their way ringside. Black T and their manager, the Farmer of Champions, Jivin' J.R. look on from the entranceway. VEGOMATIC! COLE Boom! Simon off the top with the flying legdrop formerly known as the 90210, renamed because... COACH It slices and dices. That's what James E. told me personally. And I gotta agree. 1... 2... Double-axhandle from Scotty breaks up the count. Pissed, Simon goes after Static, but his speed is too much for Singleton, as he misses an attempted spear and is pushed into the steel ringpost exposed between the top and middle ropes. Scotty returns to his corner and leads the crowd in a "JOHNNY" chant, trying to encourage his fallen compadre. Ned & Cornette do the same thing for Simon. Holding his shoulder, Simon crawls ON TOP of Johnny, attempting to keep his as far a way from his corner as possible, while trying to tag Ned. Johnny hooks Simon's legs, who responses in kind. Both men wrench back, sorta like a modified surf board...on their stomachs (JJ's stomach's touching the canvas, Simon's on JJ's BUTT), screaming in pain. JOHNNY! JOHNNY! JOHNNY! COLE The crowd continuing to urge Johnny 'Jam.' Ned climbs to the top. Seeing it, Scotty also heads to the top. On the top, they both lock eyes, almost daring the other to jump. Off goes Ned, a split-second later goes Scotty. FLYING ELBOW-DROP to their opponents! The crowd stands on their feet, applauding the maneuver. Ned came from the right side, Scotty the left. The two get up and begin slugging it out, toe-to-toe, man-to-man. Referee Jack Doan tries to intervene, but gets caught in the corner after Static ducked a punch and dropkicked Blanchard unknowningly into the referee's position, followed by a big splash (Stinger Splash), knocking out the ref. Scotty gets kicked in the gut, then nailed with a SWINGING NECKBREAKER from Simon, who bends backwards after a forearm shot to the lower back, kneelift to the midsection...pumphandle into piledriver...BEAT DROP! The cover -- there's no referee, so Johnny counts it himself. 1... 2... 3...BIG POP 4... 5...Cornette sneak's up behind JJ, but he turns around just as JC was going to hit him with his racket. JC shakes his head, walking backwards. JJ grabs him by the hair, cocks the fist and...RELEASE GERMEN SUPLEX courtesy of Narcissistic Ned Blanchard. "Get him (the referee) up, Jimmy," Ned asks his manager. Cornette does everything he can to get the ref up -- massaging and slapping being his best main methods, although one suspects he's using this to abuse the officials he's had a run-in with in recent weeks. Scotty Static charges Ned. He immediately lifts him up by one leg, as his partner Simon grabs his right leg in mid-air, for the FLAPJACK~! Referee Nick Patrick rushes to the ring. Apparently, he'll take over duties due to the incapacitated Jack Doan. Double underhook suplex from Ned keeps Johnny weaken. He heads to the corner, where Simon is awaiting him on the top. Somebody call NORAD, a rocket has been launched. Boo say the fans. The New New Midnight Epxress' ROCKET LAUNCHER~! BLACK T RUNS-IN attacking the Midnights -- but on the outside HELL'S HITMEN have jumped Scotty Static as well. That's why the fans were booing when the NNMX were about to deliver the Rocket Launcher. Jivin' J.R. chases Jim Cornette through the crowd swapping at him with his fly swatter. All hell's breaking loose. * DING DING DING DING * Dan's hammering Simon in the corner, while his partner T-Bod's stomping the crap out of Ned. Oh, poor, Johnny 'Jam' Jackson. Unfortunely for him, he got up after taking the Rocket Launcher, but he goes back down after Dan's BLACKOUT (Stunner). Nothing but PITCH BLACK (Chris Daniels' Angel Wings) for Simon. 3-B, BLACK BODY BAG (simulataneous Rock Bottom/Spinebuster) for Ned. Black T stand over the NNMX, holding the OAOAST tag team titles high. Dan & T-Bod notice Hell's Hitmen staring at them, and they flee the scene. Once BT fled, JINGUS & The Sadist return their focus on GPX. Luckily for JJ, he's still out after taking the Blackout. His partner, Scotty isn't so lucky, getting destroyed on the outside. JINGUS & The Sadist hold SS by the head...and slam him FACE FIRST into the STEEL RINGPOST! All the females in attendence gasp and scream in horror as blood rushes down the face of Scotty. JINGUS removes the protective mats, and has Scotty in a powerbomb position. The Sadist comes off the top with a FLYING CLOTHESLINE, as JINGUS finishes off the powerbomb to the concrete floor. VAYA CON DOIS~! (Go with God) Scotty's out-cold. JINGUS & The Sadist wipe their hands in Scotty's hair, then rub it on their faces like it's some kind of war paint. OAOAST officials finally appear -- although they, too, are hesitate to get in the way of Hell's Hitmen. If humanly possible, nobody wants to get in their way. EMTs come on with a stretcher. JINGUS & The Sadist threaten to attack, but they leave through the crowd, who hilariously scatter when HH near. The EMTs, along with the help of Johnny 'Jam' Jackson, place Scotty on the stretcher and roll him backstage. Many fans can be seen crying as the stretcher passes them. BUFFER The winners of the match, as a result of disqualifation, the New New Midnight Express. COLE The crowd isn't liking this. They're booing the decision. I thought you said this match will going to a draw, Caboose. CABOOSE Oh, my God! Swerve~! BUFFER I've been informed by referee in charge of the match, Jack Doan, the decision has been reversed. Your winners: Scotty Static & Johnny 'Jam' Jackson -- the Global Party XChange! CABOOSE You can't do that! COLE He can. And did. Jack Doan was the referee in charge of the match. CABOOSE Nick Patrick replaced him after he got bumped. COLE But Doan still had final say. COACH Both guys are talkin' somethin' over. "You were taken out. I was told to replace you. As I was headed to the ring, I saw Black T attack the NNMX. I called for the bell," says referee Nick Patrick. Jack Doan responses, "I understand where you're coming from. However, I saw Hell's Hitmen attack GPX on the outside, and called for the bell. My match. My decision." Doan says something back to Patrick, they head over to SOFA CENTRAL~! CABOOSE That's the worst refereeing I've seen in my life. You both suck. Where's Charles Robinson? We need Charles in charge. COACH (singing) Of our days and our nights. The stage manager hands Doan his headset, apparently talking with the head OAOAST official. Nick & Jack watch a replay on the monitor and begin another round of discussions, this time with "Cowboy" Bill F'N Watts, the Chairman of the OAOAST board of directors, present. They relay a message through the headset. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, after further dileberations, both referee's have ruled this match a double disqualifation. COACH Let's go to Michael Cole, with Bill Watts. COLE Mr. Watts, it's been a while since you've been on OAOAST TV. I understand you have an announcement. WATTS Yes I do, Michael. As the world saw moments ago, things got wild. We had referee's down, guys running into matches they're not apart of. Well, that's all gonna change next week. There won't be a need to run-in other people's matches, because not only are Black T fined $2,500, and Hell's Hitmen fined $5,000 for their actions...Next week, right here on HeldDown, there will be an 8-Man "Wildcard" match. Big pop from crowd. WATTS The World's tag team champions Black T will team up with the Global Party XChange... That draws a huge reaction from the crowd, and a stunned look on MC's face. COACH & CABOOSE Whoa! WATTS (CONT'D) ...against Jim Cornette's New New Midnight Express & Hell's Hitmen. Next week, they're gonna hook 'em up! Cole watches Watts leave, still stunned from his announcement. We go to break with a text graphic. NEXT WEEK... HeldDOWN~! 8-Man Wildcard Match New New Midnight Express & Hell's Hitmen vs The Global Party XChange & Black T

(Return from break) The heavily synthesized “Party All The Time” plays through the loud speakers signaling the arrival of one half of the Saints, Logan Mann. COLE Logan’s entrance music reminds me of why I don’t love the 80's. CABOOSE Logan? Logan Mann? He’s coming out here? (Caboose breaks into a sweat and starts to use his hand to fan himself) Oh my god. Oh my god. Be calm, Caboose! Be calm! Indeed it is Logan Mann who steps out from the sliding doors. Logan stops at the top of the entrance ramp and treats us to a little “Machine Head” on the air guitar as multicolor spotlights race around the arena at a dizzying pace. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen please welcome the special guest commentator for this match....LOGAN MANN! The announcement is met wild cheers from the teenage girls in the audience. Logan makes sure to blow them a special kiss, while at the same time thinking how he wouldn’t touch them with a fifty foot pole covered in a fifty foot condom. COLE Caboose, you don’t look so good. CABOOSE (sweating even more) Logan’s coming down here! I’ve never been this close to a true celebrity before! COACH Who are we? CABOOSE You? You’re not fit to lick Pauley Shore’s jock. Wearing his hair in a pony tail and decked out in red leather pants and a dark blue Logan struts on over to the announce table. He puts on a headset and greets his partners. LOGAN What is up, Triple C? CABOOSE O MI GOD! LOGAN! Logan, will you sit next to me? LOGAN All the seats seem to be taken. (Caboose shoves Cole out of his chair, knocking the skinny announcer to the floor!) CABOOSE One just opened up! LOGAN Thank ya much, Boo-Boo. CABOOSE Did you hear that Coach? He called me Boo-Boo! COACH I call you Boo-Boo all the time and you always threaten to dip me in a pool of flesh melting acid! "Party All The Time" cuts out and “I want Candy” hits and the crowd vocally shows their displeasure! COACH Candie? Somebody please shoot me. CABOOSE & COLE Gladly! The doors separating the backstage from the arena slide away and out comes Candie. She’s sitting on a throne with her legs crossed and eyes glaring disapprovingly at the fans Her throne is being carried by four shirtless, tall, dark and definitely handsome men. COLE (staring at the tanned guy with bleach blonde hair to the left of Candie) I’m so jealous.....of the guys! Because they get to carry Candie to the ring. And Candie’s hot and I like hot women because I’m not gay. Nope. Not gay. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall now making her way to the ring from Los Angeles, California......CANDIE! The men set the throne down and help Queen Candie to her feet. They lift her onto the ring apron and the guy who Cole was checking out holds the ropes open for Candie so she has easy access to the ring. Candie motions for her man slaves to be gone and they exit without question. Clad in a feminine version of her boyfriends ring gear, Candie climbs to the top ropes and basks in the “cheers” of the crowd The heavy bass of JoJo’s hit song “Leave”out of the loud speakers as the crowd rises to their feet waiting to see who will be the one to kick Candie’s ass into next week. COLE Ah ha! I know why you’re out here Logan. When the up tempo but emotionally pained chorus hits the doors part and Krista Isadora Duncan steps out from the back. BUFFER Now making her way to the ring, from Los Angeles, California, weighing in at one hundred and fifty five pounds...uh......KRISTA! LOGAN There she is, gentlemen. The apple of my eye. The reason I exist. She is the Yin, I am the Yang. She is the magnificent sun and I am the lowly earth. My existence revolves around her. Sporting a pair of low cut jeans that have a tiny stars embroidered with little sparking gold buttons and reveal a purple thong , Krista heads towards the ring, fixing her eyes on Candie. Krista slides underneath the ring ropes and enters the squared circle. Candie moves towards the center of ring, smirking at Krista. The ref calls for the bell. *ding ding* Krista Isadora Duncan grabs a hold of Candie’s arm and tosses the blonde bombshell into the corner! Krista stomps her feet against the mat, then charges towards Candie, leaping into the air and splashing her chest into Candie’s face! LOGAN Hey Coach, how much do we have to pay to get her do that to us? COACH HOLLA! Candie tries to stumble out of the corner, but Krista wraps her hand around her ostrich length neck and slams her back against the turnbuckle! “WHOO!” The crowd shouts as Krista tries to rip apart Candie’s flesh with a knife edge chop! “WHOO!” Another chop! “WHOO!” Another! Sick of hearing the phrase and feeling the move that Ric Flair made famous, Candie boots Krista in the gut ending the assault and giving her time to stagger out of the corner. Candie grabs Krista and whips her into the ropes. Candie lowers her head, thinking that KID will leapfrog her... FOOLISH GIRL! Krista runs towards Candie, grabs her into a front facelock and SPIKES her head into the mat with a running DDT! Candie rolls away from Krista, holding the side her head and gritting her teeth. Krista walks over to Candie and tries to bring her to her feet BUT Candie slugs Krista in the face with a right cross, knocking Krista flat on her BUTT! Candie POUNCES on Krista like an enraged cat! The two roll around the mat, with Candie scratching and clawing at Krista, and Krista punching Candie. Krista finally puts the palm of her hand on Candie’s face and shoves her off! COLE Logan, are you sure about Krista? Alix is nice, but Krista’s um... she’s... CABOOSE A dyke? COLE I was going to say ‘mean’. She’s kind of mean. LOGAN I like a mean girl! Keeps me interested! Just means I gotta work a little harder, but the payoff will be much sweeter. Both women are on their feet! Candie tries to stick a boot into Krista’s midsection. Krista shakes her head, telling Candie to try again. Candie goes for an enziguri but Krista ducks and Candie’s foot whiffs by Krista’s head! With her free foot, Candie tries to do a back kick! But Krista catches Candie’s leg in her arm! Candie is panic stricken as Krista has a firm hold on both her legs! Candie calls out for help, but no one can give it to her! Krista lifts Candie up and sends her flying backwards with a wheel barrow suplex! The fans roar in approval at seeing Zack’s better half in pain! LOGAN Gentlemen, I like a woman who’s rough around the edges. Has a little emotional baggage. Like I said, it keeps my interested. COLE I think she’ll keep you in the hospital. Candie, of course does not share the crowds pleasure. She rolls out of the ring and DEMANDS that someone hand her a microphone. A member of the ring crew rushes to her with one. She snatches it out his hand, then shows her gratitude by shoving him to the ground. CANDIE Enough! Do you people know I am? CROWD You’re a crackwhore! You’re a crackwhore! CANDIE Shut up! Shut up! I hate you all! I’m Zack Malibu’s girlfriend! I’m the most important woman in this company! I’m the second most important person in the world! (Chants of slut replace the crackwhore one) I don’t have to fight midcarders! I could have a world title shot any day I wanted! I don’t need this! I’m outta here! I’m leaving! I hate you! HATE YOU ALL! I hope you’re all miserable for the rest of your lives! I hope everyone you ever meet is very mean to you! All of you! Krista, enjoy the fifteen minutes your tryst with a rockstar will give you! CROWD SLUT! SLUT! SLUT! As a parting gift Candie gives the crowd the one fingered salute. A frown etched on her otherwise beautiful face, she storms to the back seeking the comfort of her loving boyfriend. BUFFER You’re winner as a result of forfeiture, KRISTA ISADORA.... (Buffer forgot Krista’s last name! Red in the face, he puts his hand over the mic and asks Krista her last name. Afraid of incurring her anger he tries to avoid her stony glare.) BUFFER DUNCAN! (Krista, who isn’t even sweating, asks for a mic. Hoping to make up for forgetting her last name, Buffer gives her his.) KRISTA Well, that was fun. (Krista leans over the ropes and looks at Logan) Hey, Logie! I wrote you a lil something. LOGAN Hear that? She wrote me something. KRISTA Yeah, it’s a story. Or a scenario. I haven’t been too receptive towards you’re advances and I’m sorry! I have a hard time showing my feelings. I always have. So, the best way for me to express my emotions is to write them. And I decided to write something about my most favorite person in the whole wide galaxy...YOU! LOGAN She might not be a challenge after all. KRISTA Can we dim the lights, please? I want to make sure we’ve got the perfect mood. (The lights are dimmed and Krista nods her approval. She pulls out a few folded sheets of paper and begins to read.) KRISTA It was a quite night in a charming but unremarkable suburb of Las Vegas. All the kiddies had gone to bed, the mommies were sitting alone in their kitchens with the lights turned off and their sorrows drowning in a glass of cheap wine. The daddies were at some sleazy motel, sleeping with their secretaries, forgetting about the loving family they were destroying in the process . But, you Logan, you’re at home. You’re hard at work diligently writing your next hit song. You know for sure that this next song is going to be ground breaking! You know that it’ll turn the music world upside down. LOGAN Is this a true story? Because it sure sounds like it! Guys, wait till you hear what I've done with the Jug. It's the new Sitar! KRISTA But what you don’t know is that it’s really your world that’s about to be turned upside down. You hear a car pull up in front of your house, but think nothing of it. You simply assume that it’s the pizza you ordered. After all, even Hendrix had to stop for a late night snack. LOGAN How true. And like Jimi, I love the extra sausage. KRISTA You gather together the money to pay the pizza boy. The pizza costs fourteen dollars, so you grab fourteen and two quarters. “Just because you’re rich doesn’t mean you have to tip like it” is what you comment to yourself. LOGAN Damn straight. You don’t make money by spending money. KRISTA Suddenly you hear the sounds of glass breaking! You’re higher then a jet airplane so you just think it’s Stone Cold Steve Austin. You go back to debating whether to give the pizza boy $14.50 or $14.25. Then you hear a vase break! “That’s not part of Stone Cold’s entrance”, you think to yourself. You climb upstairs and enter the hallway. It’s dark but you can make out the outline of a slender human female. “She must be hot.” You tell yourself as your mind cycles through all the nasty things you plan on doing to her. LOGAN Aw, yeah! Whip out that baby oil, Coach, it’s party time! KRISTA “Who are you? You ask, barely able to contain your throbbing member in your pants. The figure gives no answer, her silence only serves to make you more aroused. COACH I heard that! Maybe Krista’s not as crazy as we all thought. KRISTA The figure creeps closer towards you. It never crosses your mind to ask why a woman who you think wants to have sex with you would need to break into your house. You’re to caught up in a wave of sexual fury to let common sense cloud your bad judgement. Your run towards this woman and take her into your arms, spinning her around and hoping against hope that she’ll never leave your side. You flick on the light and see that the figure is shrouded in black and wearing a ski mask. This would arouse suspicion in most people, but not you. LOGAN Not bad. Not bad. Got a little role play going on. Not my thing, but Logan Mann is not close minded sexually. KRISTA You rip away the ski mask, trying to see the face of this woman you’ve exalted to goddess status. The mask slowly slips out of your hands and falls to the floor like a leaf falling from a tree. You’re taken aback by beauty in front of you. She’s simply stunning, twenty eight years old, green eyes, beautiful facial features, long sandy blonde hair. LOGAN All right! To think if it wasn’t for me, you three would be watching a couple of sweaty roid monkeys feel each other up. KRISTA The woman is me. Exactly like you had hoped for when you saw that someone had broken into your home. “I knew you’d come around.” you smugly remark referencing your invitation for me to become your groupie. You take my soft hands in yours and try to plant a kiss on my dark red lips. I pull away from you, freeing myself from your grip. “What the hell are you doing?” any hint of romance is gone from your voice. You’re not used to being denied what you want. “You’ll do what I say!” The tone in which you use would tell a normal woman that there’s little room for disobedience. But I am not a normal woman. I turn away from you, regretting that I ever came here. But you place your hand on my shoulder and violently spin me around so that we’re face to face. You stumble backwards when you spot the volcanic rage erupting in my eyes. You start to slink away but I floor you with good left hook to the nose. My hands vibrate as I feel the bones in your nose shatter into thousands of tiny pieces. I proceed to pound away your mid section with kicks until you stumbled backwards into a table and knock over a lamp in the process. LOGAN The plot thickens! A tale of femdom, prehaps? KRISTA The room is darkened, but its easier for me that way. I reach into a hockey bag that I had brought in. You had failed to notice it. Your mistake. I pull out a shot gun and an axe. You crawl away from me, trying to get to a phone so you can call for help. I follow you like a tiger following it’s prey. I catch up to you in your kitchen. You stand up and toss out a punch, it hits my chin but I hit you back with the BUTT of my shot gun, knocking out several of your pearly whites. You crumple to the ground and holler out in pain. Your screams of agony give me more pleasure then your pencil dick ever could. I pull out a dagger and stab you in the stomach. Blood splatters all over your floor, as droplets fall like rain from your midsection. I slam you against the kitchen wall, and pull out two more knives. You ask me what I plan on doing with those knives. But you already know the answer. Suddenly writing that world changing rock song doesn’t seem to important. Does it, cowboy? I jam both knifes into your twig like arms pinning you against the wall and leaving death as your only means of escape. I pull down your pants and the mood changes for horrific to hysterical once I’m exposed to the tiny piece of skin masquerading as your penis. Tears roll down your cheeks like a ball rolling down a hill when you see me burst into fits of laughter. How proud you were of your penis! How humiliated you are now! I decide right then and there that I need to put that poor little fellow out of his misery. You’re eyes shut and you find yourself to afraid of the fate that’s soon to befall you to even cry. I raise my axe above my head. “Score one for woman kind!” I scream as I lower the deadly weapon and rob you of what little manhood you had left by chopping off your.... (We see the “OAOAST Control room” where operators are being swamped with complaints!) OPERATOR 1 Yes ma’am we know you have kids watching. Please hold. (Switches to another caller) OAOAST HeldDOWN, this is Tina....No, it wasn’t scheduled as part of the show.... OPERATOR 2 Sir, Logan is fine. No, don’t send him get well cards. I’m sure he’d appreciate your support, Mr.Bobbit. Could you hold on? OPERATOR 3 OAOAST HeldDOWN this is Kelly speaking.....Miss, I’m glad you sympathize with Krista but the best way to handle your marital problems is not with a shotgun. Please hold.....OAOAST HeldDOWN this is Kelly speaking......No, it was just a story. She didn’t really chop it off....It’s not on e-bay because it never really happened! (Suddenly a random dick head who we assume is a member of the OAOAST board of directors bursts into the room. The man is fuming and we can almost see the smoke coming out of every hole in his body!) RANDOM DICKHEAD Somebody tell me what the hell is going here?! NOW! I want some god damn answers people! NOW! PRODUCTION ASSISTANT Sir.... RANDOM DICKHEAD Who the hell are you? PRODUCTION ASSISTANT My name’s Maggie, sir. RANDOM DICKHEAD Maggie? My ex wife was named Maggie. Let me talk to someone not named after the woman who drained my balls and my bank account. PRODUCTION ASSISTANT 2 Sir, my name is Mark. RANDOM DICKHEAD Mark? The guy who changed the oil in my car was named Mark. Good, trustworthy man. Didn’t try to cheat me. I like Mark. Mark, what happened. PRODUCTION ASSISTANT 2 Well, Krista... RANDOM DICKHEAD I know what happened. What I want to know is why it happened! PRODUCTION ASSISTANT 2 Well, Krista... RANDOM DICKHEAD I know why it happened! I want to know who allowed it to happened! PRODUCTION ASSISTANT 2 Um, you sir. RANDOM DICKHEAD Poppycock! Hogwash! Hogcock! If I wanted to be blamed for something I didn’t do, I’d pay a visit to my ex wife. No, No, No. We need action. My phones have been flooded by the PTA, PTC, PTP, PS2. We need action! Suspend Krista! PRODUCTION ASSISTANT 2 Great idea. RANDOM DICKHEAD It sucks. Who hired you? PRODUCTION ASSISTANT 2 You did. RANDOM DICKHEAD Why? PRODUCTION ASSISTANT 2 Because I’m your son? RANDOM DICKHEAD Oh. We need to fine Krista! Fine her 10 million dollars! PRODUCTION ASSISTANT 2 10 million? RANDOM DICKHEAD You’re right. That’s two low. Fine her ten billion dollars! PRODUCTION ASSISTANT 2 Sir.... RANDOM DICKHEAD Okay, hit her with a five thousand dollar fine and tell her that she gets no company fruitcake on Christmas and definitely no cheese of the month on her birthday. PRODUCTION ASSISTANT 2 I never got a cheese of the month on my birthday... RANDOM DICKHEAD That’s because I don’t like you. I really wanted a girl. And I blame you for ruining your mother and I’s marriage. (Random Dickhead walks out of the room, humming the Saints hit song “Waves over South Dakota”.)

(Return from break) The camera cuts away to show Drek Stone walking happily down a long hallway, with the Italian Championship hefted over his right shoulder. The fans immediately begin to boo upon seeing Drek appear on the screen, but it doesn’t seem to affect him in the slightest. He continues to walk contentedly, right past two teamsters sitting nearby. TEAMSTER Good evening, Mr. Stone. How are you? Drek continues to stroll down the hallway, completely ignoring the man’s greeting. TEAMSTER Well, anyway……good luck with the Mad Cappa tonight. Drek suddenly stops in his tracks, and turns around slowly to face the man. DREK ……good luck with the Mad Cappa? After all my weeks of dominating the guy, why would you choose to have such an absurd thought tonight? TEAMSTER Oh….well, no reason. It was just that we saw the Mad Cappa stomp around here a few minutes ago with a baseball bat. He went back that way. You must have just missed him. He looked really mad, so I just wanted to wish you good luck with him tonight. Drek shoots a long stare at the teamster. DREK ….r-really…..I-I’m pretty surprised he’s here tonight. Well, it doesn’t matter either way. To be polite, you can shove your luck up your ass. And if the Mad Cappa wants me, tell him where I am. I have no problem humiliating that gavone once again. Drek then starts to walk down the hallway again, this time a little bit faster. However, he’s going the opposite direction of where the teamster pointed out the Mad Cappa went. TEAMSTER But Mr. Stone, where should I tell him to look for you? Drek completely ignores the man’s comments, but continues to march down the corridor. He begins to scream the Mad Cappa’s name irately, trying to pass off the image that he actually is looking for the former Puerto Rican Champion. However, there seems to be another emotion mixed in with that anger. Could it be apprehension? Could it be fear? DREK Come on, Cappa!! You’re here tonight, aren’t you?! Got a big baseball bat you’re ready to use? Well, I’m right here, Cappa! Drek pounds his fist against a nearby door. DREK I’M HERE, CAPPA! NOW’S THE TIME TO GET YOUR REVENGE!! WHERE ARE YOU?! WHERE ARE….. Drek finally reaches the end of the corridor, and looks ready to head through the double doors. However, he suddenly stops in mid-sentence and tilts his head to the left. In the distance, there can be some loud screaming heard. DREK Is…..Is that you, Cappa?! CAPPA!!! The voice starts to get a little clearer, and it becomes more obvious that the person is starting to move closer to the camera. Finally, the crowd is able to hear what the screaming is all about. ??? WHERE ARE YOU, CALVIN?! You son of a bitch……I HAVE SOMETHING WORSE THAN A PAIR OF SCISSORS PLANNED FOR YOU!! The fans start cheering excitedly as they finally realize that this is Sly Sommers having his own rampage through the hall. The double doors that Drek was just standing in front of are abruptly kicked open, and Drek finds himself standing face-to-face with Sly. Sly has a large bandage taped across his forehead, showing remnants of the Calvin Szechstein scissors attack from last week. The two stare at each other for a second, until Drek speaks first with a grin across his face. DREK Well…..how you doin, Sly? You look a little bit angry there. SLY Drek, I don’t suggest you pick tonight to try and pick a fight with me. I really think you should just TELL ME WHERE CALVIN IS!! After all, I wouldn’t want you to miss your Hell-in-a-Cell match next Sunday. DREK Oh no, I wouldn’t dream of it. But the truth is I’m a little bit worried about your condition. I mean….I know unsightly bandages across the forehead are all the rage these days, and I’m sure you’re finally happy to get one. But if you can, I would suggest you stay away from people with scissors. Don’t you know how dangerous that could be? SLY …….I’ll take that suggestion into consideration. Might I also suggest that it might be for the best if you grew a set of BALLS? Immediately after the latest remark, the fans begin to cheer loudly. SLY Because, as I’m sure you know….you haven’t defended that Italian title in two weeks. And it could be bad for your future if you don’t get some practice in before you face The Mad Cappa at “License To Pin.” I hope you know what I’m getting at here. DREK I do……but I honestly hope you’re joking. Look at you. You’re in no condition to fight ANYBODY tonight. And now….if I’m right here….you’re honestly making a challenge for my Italian Championship here tonight? SLY – with a sneer As much as I’d love to get my hands on Calvin Szechstein tonight – oh, and I vow I will – I might love it even more to snatch that gold away from your arrogant ass. DREK Well then….you’re in luck, friend. Because I was looking to school somebody else tonight, and I think you’re exactly the type of person I was looking for. And just like I dominated your heated rival two weeks ago, I know I won’t have any problems doing the same tonight. SLY Oh, I know you would think that. But keep one thing in mind……I’m not Calvin Szechstein. I’m FAR FROM IT! I have more talent than Calvin Szechstein, I’m a better ring general than he is…..and, just so I’m perfectly honest, I do the kinds of things in that ring that Calvin would never even dream of. I go further than that asshole would ever go. And tonight, you wil be the perfect witness to that. Congratulations, Drek. You’re in for a long night. Sly walks back the other way, once again going through the double doors. Drek stares at Sly for a few seconds, then turns his attention to his Italian belt. DREK He doesn’t know what he’s talking about. You’re not going anywhere tonight. I promise…… *The camera slowly fades away as Drek stares at his Italian Championship, somewhat uncertain….* (Go to break) (After break) Stephen Joseph So I asked a question TWO weeks ago. Who will challenge Stephen Joseph? Last week, no one showed up to answer the call. Now, there's still no one signed up for tonight, and I'm standing in the ring, in my GOOD clothes. ANYONE back there with any gut check at all? Cole He's been out here since we started commercials last break Caboose He's a windbag with a point. I don't think we'll see him in action tonight Cole And why not Mr. Analyst? Caboose Because no one is stupid enough. Please, its a trap. Stephen Joseph Any... CUE: "You Sexy Thing" Leon Rodez (walking out) Yo, S Jizzle~! Hey baby ::towards a blonde next to the ramp:: Popick, the man. Man weren't you like, champion two years ago or something before Dan Black knocked your neck around so you could kiss your own ass? Caboose I'd like to point out that I retired him first, thank you. Cole Does this have to be about you? Caboose It was about me last night Cole ... Leon Rodez (walking towards the ring, taking off his robe) Yo, Loverbirds over there. Stop yakking. Now Popey, man, I'm always up for a good time, but I wasn't around last week, cause I was you know, having a good time. But ::yawns:: I could use the exercise for a few minutes, you know, get limber for Ms. ? ::turns to the blonde:: Ms. Tonight over there. Yeah, that's the ticket. Stephen Joseph So in other words, you're accepting my challenge. Leon Rodez Yeah dawg, that's why I'm here. ::slides into the ring:: We gonna go or what? Stephen Joseph You'll do. ::DING:: Leon claps his hands to get the crowd going, and makes for SJ with a hook and collar. SJ bites and goes to clasp on, but Leon Rodez slides down under SJ's legs and pulls them out, sending SJ crashing down towards the mat to the laughter of the crowd. Leon puffs and jogs around as Stephen Joseph glares back from the mat. Leon comes over with a handshake gesture to Stephen, who looks at it and spits on the outstretched arm. Rodez gets pissed and begins to unload some rights and lefts on SJ, sending him into the closest corner turnbuckle. Rodez whips Popick to the other side. Popick hits back first and stumbles onto one knee facing Rodez, who pops out a SHINING WIZARD~! Cole WHATAMOVE! Rodez covers, but gets only a 1 count. (Crowd: Rodez!) Rodez pulls Popick back up and places him in the corner, and begins to mound him from the second rope for a count-a-long. Stephen wakes up before it can commence, and dumps Rodez to the outside to buy some time. Rodez slides back in, clutching his back, as Stephen hangs over him, grabbing at his throat with two hands. Popick goes for the Synchronicity, but Rodez scissors the addomen to hold on. Leon then pulls back and over scissoring Popick's neck and snapping back with a standing hurricanrana pin! 1! 2! Kickout! Leon motions to the crowd, and TO THE LADIES~! who squeal. Picking up Stephen Joseph, Leon pulls him up and down with a hard scoop slam, placed perfectly near the turnbuckle. Leon scales up the turnbuckle, posing and gyrating for the fun of it all. He turns around to face SJ lying on the mat, when the crowd boos! Rodez looks left, but Vitamin X is on his right, Vitamin tries to pull Leon down, but Leon Rodez kicks him in the head! BECAUSE THE LADY LOVES! Stephen Joseph Moves! Leon Rodez lands on his feet! Joseph with the Synchronicity Lock. He pulls up and turns around, Leon flipping downwards, head between Joseph's legs. Synchronicity V3! 1! 2! 3! Vitamin X, Lindsey Gonzalez, and the rest of the Lightning Crew then enter the ring, standin gover Leon as he gets up. THE LIGHTS GO DOWN. The AngleTron lights up! 1... 2... 3... 4... 5! LIGHTS ON! And after what seemed like more than a minute, we see what has happened. 4 masked men in black clothes stand in the ring at each turnbuckle, with Stephen Joseph in the middle, and the Lightning crew laying in and out of the ring. Leon Rodez is walking up the ramp, looking like he doesn't know what's going on, and doesn't want to get into the middle. Cole Who are these men, What do they have to do with this match? Caboose I don't know, but I wouldn't want to be Popick...ever! Stephen looks left, right, back, forward. He's surrounded by these four strangers. They stare back, if you call being masked and unmoving staring. One finally moves, walking up to Stephen Joseph and he slowly traces a "5" on Joseph's chest, pointing back at him after doing so. THE LIGHTS GO OFF 1... 2... 3... 4... 5... And the come on, and on the AngleTron an ominous warning. "10 days left Stephen." COACH Ten days left until what? CABOOSE Until your fired, hopefully! NEXT! CALIFORNIA LOVE!!!! COLE Whoa! We weren’t expecting Parka out here tonight. COACH Hey any time my homey G is out here is fine by me. CABOOSE Homey G?? *The El Camino pulls out onto the stage and bounces for the fans before coming to a stop. Parka steps out and raises his arms in the air as the fans cheer and then walks down to the ring and grabs a mic.* PARKA I know I’m not scheduled to be out here, but I have something to say, so the people in the back can just deal with it! Last week J. Arthur Edwards and Cain picked on the wrong man. They attacked Eddy to get to Rick, but they didn’t think about just who they were pissing off! *The fans cheer* PARKA If J. Arthur won’t fight Rick then maybe he’ll fight me!! *The fans cheer louder* PARKA At License to Pin I want J. Arthur in the ring and I want it No Holds Barred! It’s time I got back to doing what I do best and that’s dishing out some violence! *The fans cheer again* PARKA Now before I go I want to bring out Rick Edwards because I’ve got something to say. *Parka lowers the mic and waits and after a few seconds Tear Away by Drowning Pool starts.* COLE Looks like Rick is on his way out. CABOOSE Wow you’re so observant Cole. *Rick comes out in street clothes and the fans give a mixed reaction as they still are not sure what to think of him. Rick makes his way to the ring and grabs a mic of his own.* RICK What do you want? PARKA I know you want J. Arthur in the ring in the worst way right now, but if he’s not going to accept then I want him in the ring as you just heard. I need to know that we’re cool on this. I know you’re still on the fence as far as trusting me and I’m not sure if I can trust you yet. So we have to be on the same page here! RICK If he’s gonna keep dodging me then I’ll at least be somewhat satisfied as long as someone is kicking his ass. If you want him then by all means go for it, but save a piece of him for me, because I plan on fighting him somewhere…somehow. PARKA That’s all I needed to hear. He… WHOA WHOA WHOA!!!!! COLE What the hell?? *Parka and Rick look around to see where the voice is coming from when suddenly JAE appears on stage* J. ARTHUR No one talks about me behind my back! Parka if you want a match then you come to me first instead of blabbering about it in front of these peons! PARKA So is that a yes or a no? J. ARTHUR You’re putting me in a bad situation. You see I might be in court… PARKA Just answer the damn question because you’re starting to sound like a pussy. *The fans chant “You’re a pussy!!” and JAE covers his ears.* J. ARTHUR Shut up!! Fine! I’ll wrestle you Parka. You I have no problem whooping, but Rick like I said before we're not fighting because even though you turned your back we're still family and I'm gonna make you see that! RICK We will fight sooner or later. You can’t duck me forever! J. ARTHUR You know what Rick…we won’t fight until I say so, because we’re doing things my way. RICK Is that so? J. ARTHUR Yes it is and to show you how serious I am I’ve brought you a present. *Christopher Cain comes out onto the stage pulling Leah Blackstone by the hair. Rick looks pissed as the fans boo loudly.* COLE Oh God no! J. ARTHUR I control the way things are going to go down! Do you understand!? RICK Don’t do this! J. ARTHUR I said I was going to show you how serious I am, so this is no idle threat. Do it Cain! *Cain lifts Leah in a Gorilla Press and tosses her off the stage and through a table!* COLE No!!!! My God he could have killed her!! CABOOSE Damn!! *The crowd chants “Holy Shit” as Parka and Rick exit the ring. Parka runs up the ramp and chases JAE and Cain off before jumping down to check on Leah. Rick walks over with a dazed look on his face and his skin is pale white. Rick places his hands on his head as he shakes his head. The trainers come out to check on Leah as we go to a break* (Go to break)