Patty O'Green

Sorry to see you go. I can understand the point about not having the passion for wrestling anymore as I haven't watched wrestling for almost two years. I think the tag team divison could totally use the Skulls. Thanks for leaving them behind.

Krista Isadora Duncan will take on Candie And there will be murder.

rdhfwgft

Nice show. Short. But Nice. Short. But easy to post. I don't have anything else to add except for that I liked the way the Sly/RAS/JAE promos all ran together. Nice segments by NYU. I hope the effect of the hell in the cell doesn't get lessened due to massive amount of violence we'll be seeing at LTP. As for nothing happening after the end of the main event match, Zack had proposed having Northstar running in to make the save for Alix but I vetoed it because I don't have the time or the energy to write both Northstar and Chicks Over Dicks.

The second kind. Although I like the sound of the first kind.

(Return from break) HeldDOWN~! returns from commercial, and the cameras pan the raucous crowd who are on their feet throughout the arena tonight. Suddenly, the positive atmosphere is ruined when "Nothing", the theme song of the most hated man in the business, begins to play. As the lights are turned down, Zack Malibu, the OAOAST World Champion, steps through the curtain, accompanied by his girlfriend, the beautiful Candie. COACH If looks could kill, she'd be on death row. COLE But if brains were dynamite, she wouldn't be able to blow her nose! CABOOSE Guys, do you think for just ONE NIGHT we can go without the cheesy cliches? COLE Sorry Caboose, I didn't know you felt that way. CABOOSE Well now you know. And knowing is half the...dear God, now you have me doing it! Malibu and Candie make their way to the ringside area, with Candie departing from Zack and heading over to the timekeepers table to take the mic from resident ring announcer Michael Buffer. Zack enters the ring, walking with his head held high and the belt draped over his shoulder. Malibu opens the ropes for his love to enter the ring, and he takes the microphone from her just as his theme song begins to fade out. As usual, Zack is unable to even utter one syllable before the fans are all over him. "MALIBU SUCKS! MALIBU SUCKS!" The chant carries, but Zack just shrugs it off. MALIBU If you people want to get under my skin, you'll have to try a little harder than some third grade level humor. Of course, seeing as how many of you had trouble passing SECOND grade, that seems impossible. Still, I urge you all, keep reaching for those stars! Malibu smiles the most insincere smile imaginable,and Candie applauds the crowd sarcastically. MALIBU Now, onto the reason why I'm out here. You all know that come License To Pin, that I have to defend my World Title against Crystal...AGAIN. The board of directors must be on some heavy drugs to think she deserves another shot after I beat her at School's Out, but that's why they're pushing pens and I'm in the ring wearing the gold. Those guys just didn't have what it takes anymore. As for Crystal, I've pretty much covered all the bases when it comes to you, honey. COACH He covered all her bases? Damn, I haven't even made it to first yet! COLE Coach, that's not what he means. COACH The hell it ain't! You know he hit that! If I was a girl, I'D hit that! COLE OK...now you're just scaring us all. MALIBU Now, even though I'm being inconvienienced, I remain true to my word to be a fighting champion. That also leads me to why I'm dressed in my ring gear. You see, there's a person backstage who just can't seem to get along with me. They never have, and probably never will. This person gives me the evil eye whenever our paths cross, and for some reason, has had thoughts of superstardom driven into their mind. I thought we were rid of this person, but just like the herpes Cole caught from that trucker, they just keep coming back, and don't know when to quit. COLE ...I don't know what he's talking about. MALIBU This person thinks that they're on a level above where they belong. They think they can hang with the big guns. More importantly, they think that they can get away with being something their not. I mean, I'm all for equal rights and stuff, but this persons sexuality is HIGHLY in question. CABOOSE Northstar! He has to be talking about Northstar! MALIBU Sooooo...just on those grounds, this person deserves an ass kicking. However, I, Zack Malibu, am also looking to show what a fighting champion I can be, and am willing to take on all comers in order to get myself into top condition for your precious Female Phenom. So, tonight, the match you've all been waiting for finally happens right here, right now! The crowd has caught on by this point, and is wildy screaming for Northstar to make his entrance. MALIBU ALIX SPEZIA, would you please come out!? COLE What? COACH ALIX? CABOOSE Oh, I'm so loving this. The crowd IMMEDIATELY turns on Zack Malibu, booing him severly for calling out the former love interest of Northstar. MALIBU What? What's that? OH, you thought I was talking about NORTHSTAR? Think again, people. He came back, he tried to play hero for you people, and what happened? He couldn't cut it? Let's face it, he's never beaten me before, and never ever will! In fact, I'm so inclined to say that Alix is more of a man than he is, especially since she started dikin' it up with... All of a sudden, the crowd roars, as Alix Spezia has heard enough, and bolts down the aisle! Malibu and Candie take the cowardly way out, sliding out of the ring as an enraged Alix stands there staring them down. MALIBU Whoa whoa whoa, easy there buttercheeks! Now, here's what we're gonna do. You see this? This right here, this belt, this is NOT on the line. Should you beat me...pffft, yeah right...anyways, SHOULD you beat me, then maybe we can talk about a title match. However, right now, what you need to do is know what your role is. You're just a tune up. See, both you and the Female Flop are the most ungrateful women I've ever seen in my life. Neither one of you has the class that someone like my Candie has! The crowd begins to boo, causing Candie to grow irate. MALIBU So, tonight, I figure I'll beat you down and send you packing the greasy spoon where you were waiting tables before Northstar couldn't pay the check and opted to hook up with you in order to get a free meal, and then after the PPV, I'll send you some backup in the form of Crystal. Malibu tosses the mic down, tired of talking, and slides into the ring. Referee Charles Robinson is on the scene, and rings the bell, starting this thing off right! Zack Malibu smirks as he goes for a quick lock up. Alix avoids the grapple attempt by stepping sideways. Zack’s smirk transforms into a frown after Alix avoids him. He quickly regains his composure and lunges at Alix! Alix simply ducks behind Zack and the world champion clumsily stumbles into the ropes! With the fans in the front row showering him with taunts, frustration begins to set in. The jeers from the fans increase in volume as Zack visibly displays his anger by kicking at the bottom ropes! Zack turns around and tries to level with Alix with a straight punch! But before Zack’s devastating blow can connect with Alix’s modelesque face and cause serious damage, the beauty from Beverly Hills goes low to Zack’s knee with a basement dropkick! Shocked that Alix was able to launch a successful counter attack, Zack rolls away from her clutching his knee. COLE These two along with Candie were teammates on team HeldDOWN~! as they took on Team Hollywood in an effort to rid the OAOAST of the 3 Stages of Hell film crew. Despite this I don’t Alix and Zack have ever really liked each other, and I know Alix despises Candie. I’m of the mind that Alix only teamed with Zack and Candie so she could get back at Northstar. His pride more hurt then anything, Zack slams his fist against the mat and urges himself to pull it together. Meanwhile, Alix stands back waving her hand and motioning Zack on. Zack brings himself to his feet and charges at Alix! He finds a tiny bit satisfaction by knocking her flat on her back with a well placed shoulder block! Alix plays possum by feigning a small injury. Zack doesn’t catch her little trick and runs the ropes. He comes back with the intent on driving an elbow to the her forehead. At the last possible moment, Alix moves out the way and the only thing Zack’s elbow hits is the mat! COACH I think Zack may be overrating his wrestling abilities! CABOOSE Or maybe Zack’s not overrating anything and Alix is little better then he thought she was. “To hell with this shit.” Zack mutters as he rubs his hurt elbow. Zack tries to formulate an offensive strategy but the ringing pain in his elbow and the chants of “Fuck Zack” do a fine job of breaking his concentration. Alix grabs a hold of Zack’s good arm and goes for an Irish whip, Zack reverses the move but instead of whipping Alix into the ropes he pulls the petite girl towards him for a short arm clothesline...Zack whiffs on the move and Alix darts underneath his arm, runs the ropes, bounces back and KNOCKS Zack HEAD OVER HEELS with a dazzling running Enziguri! Zack lies face up on the mat while little blue birdies and yellow stars circle above his head. Alix throws up a peace sign and more then a few members of the sold out crowd do the same! She runs the towards the ropes and bounces off. But instead of running back, she cartwheels her way over to Zack and nails him in the stomach with a standing Moonsault! “Ooomph!” Zack belts out as he feels all the air in his body exits through his mouth. Alix who already has Zack’s shoulders on the mat hooks one of his legs for a pin. 1 KICK OUT! Alix goes for another pin attempt. 1 KICK OUT! And another. 1 KICK OUT And another. 1 2 KICK OUT! COLE Why does she keep doing that? CABOOSE To make Zack waste his energy. It doesn’t take any effort for her to lay on his chest but it takes a lot for him to push her off four times in six seconds. Alix grabs a fistful of Zack’s hair and leads him to his feet. She hooks him into a vertical suplex position. Summoning a tiny bit of strength the greatest champ in OAOAST history shoves her backwards and breaks free of the hold. Zack shakes off a few a cobwebs and charges at Alix looking to knock into next week with a shoulder block! Alix ducks down ever so slightly and grabs a hold of the inside of Zack’s leg and turns his charge into a roll up pin attempt! 1 2 KICK OUT! Alix brings Zack to his feet. She places her palm on his forehead and holds him at arms length. The infuriated champion, comically swings his fists at Alix and misses her by half a mile. Finally Alix lets Zack go free and brings him towards her. She kicks him in the knee to stun him, then punts him right in the balls with a low blow! The fans display their true colors as they loudly mock Zack’s pain! Hurt, Zack throws out another punch that totally misses its target. Alix sidesteps the blow and goes behind Zack, locking him into a Cobra Clutch! She lifts Zack into the air. His feet wildly try to kick at her as he tries to break free of the hold. Alix will have none of that however and instead shoves Zack back first to the ground with a Cobra Clutch slam! Alix rolls on top of Zack for a pin attempt. 1 2 KICK OUT! Upon kicking out of the move Zack rises to his feet. His mind clouded with dizziness, he groggily staggers around the ring. The fans are on his case with a famillar “Zack sucks” chant. Zack’s so dazed and his mind is so foggy that he barely notices Alix zip past him, leap onto the third ropes and springboard back with a stunningly beautiful cross body block! The crowd takes a break from their harassing of the champ to bust out a round of applause for Alix’s beautiful aerial maneuver. The camera gives a shot of the blonde bombshell Candie who is starting to worry that her mouth wrote a check her boyfriend’s ass can’t cash. With Alix bowing to the crowd, Zack rolls out of the ring. He stumbles towards the direction of the timekeeper and leans against the barricade that separates the ring from the rabid anti Zack fans. He’s hoping to regain some of that confidence and composure that has made him a two time World champion. COACH Yo yo yo! Time for a break! Maybe when we come back Zack’ll have finished his serving of humble pie! (Go to break) (Return from break) HeldDOWN~! returns with Zack still pacing ringside, teasing re-entry but every time backing away at the last possible second. COLE Fans, welcome back. All throughout the break Zack Malibu has been avoiding contact with Alix Spezia, and has yet to enter the ring again! CABOOSE He's just pacing himself, Cole. Give the man some space! Malibu climbs up on the apron, and Alix rushes right over to him, but he reaches out, grabbing her by the head and jumping down to the floor, snapping her neck on the top rope! Alix falls backwards, holding her throat, as Zack slides into the ring, stalking her as she rolls around on the canvas. Alix tries to breath, but she's interrupted by Zack, who yanks her hair and pulls her up to her feet, then spins around 360 degrees and floors her with a Roaring Elbow~! COLEWhere did that come from!? Alix falls back to the mat, now holding her nose, as Zack again reaches down, pulling her up to her feet, and then running her into the corner, slamming her face into the top turnbuckle! Alix staggers back, and Zack hooks his arms around her waist, putting his head off to the side so that he can drop her over his shoulder with a back suplex! CABOOSE Zack Malibu is on the comeback! Looking agitated at his "rival", Malibu AGAIN picks her up by her hair, and this time simply slaps the taste out of Alix's mouth! Alix turns away due to the impact of the shot, but Malibu jerks her back by the hair, asking her the age old question "Do you know who I am?" before slapping her again! Malibu again looks her in the eyes, this time stating "I'm Zack Malibu, and you're NOTHING!" before shoving her away...only to have Alix rake his eyes out of desperation! Malibu reels as Candie protests on the floor, and this gives Alix the opportunity to jump on Zack's back and start wailing away on him...until she's snapemared over! Malibu backs up, rubbing his eyes in hopes of getting his vision cleared, and just as Alix pushes herself to her feet... CRACK~! ...School's Out to Alix Spezia, who crumbles like a cookie in a toddler's hand! Zack Malibu walks over to her, places a foot on her chest, and does the ARROGANT COVER~!, as Charles Robinson slides down... ONE! TWO!! THREE!!! Winner: Zack Malibu "Nothing" is cued up, and Candie enters the ring to shoo Chuck away and raise Zack's hand herself. Buffer hands the World Title belt in to Candie, who passes it onto Zack, and the champion raises it high in the air, taunting the crowd with it. As Zack parades around the ring, Candie starts putting the boots to Alix Spezia, and when Robinson tries to stop her, he winds up getting shoved onto his ass! Candie turns her attention back to Alix, picking her up off the mat and whipping her across the ring by her hair...RIGHT INTO A BELTSHOT BY ZACK MALIBU~! COLE Now come on, is there any need for this!? Malibu stands above Alix, and slowly raises the belt up above his head with one hand, as Candie comes over, laughing, and hugs him. The terrible twosome pose for the fans who regret ever having cheered them in the first place, then exit the ring, grinning cockily as they stroll up the ramp, leaving Alix Spezia unconscious in the ring. COLE One thing is for sure...Malibu might see these people as pushovers, but rest assured, once we get to Alcatraz this month, Crystal isn't going to go down that easy. CABOOSE That's not what I heard from my friends who hang on the corner of 55th and State St. COACH Bastard! CABOOSE So's your mother. COLE On that classy note, we say goodbye!

OAOAST HeldDOWN~! “I Like” by Katy Rose plays as the opening video flashes onto TV screens across the world. After it’s done the logo for License to Pin is shown followed by the logo that has faithfully represented sports entertainment’s flag ship show.... We cut to the arena where wrestling fanatics from all around the great state of Oregon have packed every seat in the house! The pyro explodes on the entrance ramp, wowing the crowd with it’s vibrant display of colors! MICHAEL COLE Hello world! Welcome to Portland, Oregon the home of the Portland Trail Blazers and some of the best fish money can buy! I’m Michael Cole, joined as always by Jonathan Coachman and Caboose! CABOOSE Yes, welcome comrades to the never ending hell that my life has become. Boys, we’re heading into one of our most unique pay per view extravaganzas yet, License To Pin: This ain’t Oz featuring the first ever Emperor of Death tourney. Gentlemen if I was placed in death match with both of you, I’d disembowel you both, skin Coach alive and separate Cole’s spinal cord from his puny emaciated body. Then I’d reign supreme as the unchallenged Emperor of Death and a large monument made out of solid gold would be erected in my honor outside of OAOAST headquarters. Employees would be forced to pay tribute to me daily or risk the punishment of being skinned and tossed into a pool of salt water. COACH That sounds fun, but can you kill me after the show? I only get paid if I work the full two hours. *1….2…..3! HIT IT!* *“Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Reunion Mix)” blasts over the loudspeakers as The Mad Cappa walks out of the entranceway to a roaring reaction from the crowd. With a microphone in his hand, he slowly walks down to ringside with a smile on his face. Along the way, he stops to slap hands with some of the fans sitting ringside while the crowd begins to loudly chant “CAPPA! CAPPA!”* COLE Listen to these fans! They just love The Mad Cappa! CABOOSE I’m not surprised. The average wrestling fan seems to love dishonest sneak-attackers. The Mad Cappa slips nicely into that group. *After getting in the ring, he raises his arms up to the people and receives an even louder reaction. The Mad Cappa slowly raises the microphone to his face and begins to talk* CAPPA So…..was I missed? *Once again, the crowd starts chanting “CAPPA! CAPPA!” as Cappa, with a wide smile across his face, slowly signals them to quiet down* CAPPA Just wanted to make sure. Listen everybody, I didn’t come out here to start rambling on like some of these other guys might. I came out here to explain something simple and to make an important announcement. Last week, I ran out to the ring after what was admittedly a hard-fought matchup and I…….well, to put it simply, I capped Drek Stone right out of his shoes! *The fans start cheering* CAPPA Right. In my opinion, I did a pretty damn good job. But then we have people like Caboose over there……yeah, hi Caboose…..that started screaming that I was using cheap tactics, and that my actions were deplorable, and blah blah blah, all that other nonsense. Well, let me make this as simple as possible. When I get hit in the head with a hammer, as crazy as this might sound….I start seeking revenge. And if it took me coming out there, when Drek Stone least expected it, to get at least a minor portion of that revenge, so be it. But, truth be told……..he ain’t seen nothing yet. Now, as for my announcement…. Woke Up This Morning Got Yourself A Gun Mama Always Said You’d Be The Chosen One *Drek Stone steps out of the entranceway to a LOUD chorus of boos. With the OAOAST Italian Championship hefted across his shoulder, Drek stands at the top of the ramp with a microphone in his hand. He stares at Cappa irritably for a few seconds, yet for some reason, seems to have somewhat of a grin on his face* DREK That was just a tiny portion of revenge, was it, Cappa? Call that disgusting sneak-attack whatever you want. However, the cold hard truth is that……that was the only measure of revenge you’ll ever be getting against me. You’re not above the law, Cappa. What you did last week was trespass into this arena, assault me after a match in which you had no part in, then escaped arrest afterwards. You might have been able to run away from the police last week, but I personally made sure you wouldn’t be so lucky tonight. You need to be taught, just as all criminals do, the proper away to act. COACH Don’t tell me…. COLE After all the stuff he’s done, he couldn’t possibly have… DREK Officers? *Five police officers march out of the entranceway and slowly march past Drek towards ringside. Without pause, the cops begin to enter the ring until they’re surrounding the Mad Cappa* DREK You’ll never get another shot at the Italian Championship! NEVER! Not while you’re rotting in prison. Cappa, you took things a little too far last week. That sledgehammer attack after the Great Angle Bash……see, that was just child’s play. But what you did last week…..you need to pay your debt to society now. Officers, arrest that man! *Cappa looks out to the crowd who are basically pleading with him to start attacking the police officers. He lifts his arm up high like he’s ready to strike one of them. But he suddenly holds out both arms in front of one of the policeman, and allows the cop to handcuff his arms behind his back. The fans begin to loudly boo as these policemen guide Cappa out of the ring* COACH Oh, Caboose, Drek is SUCH a respectable wrestler, isn’t he?! It’s allright for Drek to hit Cappa with a sledgehammer, but he immediately calls the cops if Cappa attacks back. This is not how we do in the hood, I’ll tell you that! CABOOSE Cappa should be THANKING Drek for doing this! Don’t you see? Drek called the cops in order to protect The Mad Cappa. Now Cappa will get to sit in a jail cell – hopefully for a few years – away from the rage of Drek. If Cappa was walking around free right now, who knows what Drek might have had in store for him. Again, you don’t realize the humanitarian ways of this man. *The cops start walking up the rampway with the Mad Cappa in custody. However, after they walk past Drek Stone, Drek begins to follow them with a smirk on his face. The camera follows them backstage as they walk past the Gorilla Position and towards the locker rooms.* DREK Wait…..wait…..take a right here. *The policemen comply and, instead of walking straight to the parking lot, take a right down the hallway. They walk for a few more feet, with Drek’s smile still remaining on his face. They finally stop at a door at the end of the hallway, pretty much isolated from everybody else.* DREK Okay, in here. This is perfect. *Drek opens the door, and the cops start trying to drag Cappa into the room. He begins to struggle, attempting to get out of their grasp, but with his wrists handcuffed, it’s nearly impossible. The officers are able to get him into the room and close the door behind them, leaving Drek standing there by himself for a little while* COLE What the hell could this be about? CABOOSE The Mad Cappa wasn’t complying. They probably had to bust out the mace. Hopefully, they used their nightsticks too! *After a few seconds of waiting, one of the officers opens the door.* OFFICER Okay, Mr. Stone. Everything is all set up. *Drek pulls out his wallet and hands over a fistful of dollars to the policeman. With a smile, the cop waves out the other four officers. They walk out of the room with emotionless looks on their faces. Drek, with a cautious grin, walks into the room, but then lets out a loud laugh. The camera follows him, and we can now see that the Mad Cappa has had his arms cuffed around a chair* DREK I warned you, Cappa. You couldn’t let this thing die at the Great Angle Bash. You couldn’t let it end when I banged your head off of that ring bell. You couldn’t let it end when I drove that sledgehammer into your face. You just couldn’t accept the fact that I proved I was the better wrestler, and that you would no longer soil this company with that piece of tin formerly called the Puerto Rican Title.You wanted to get revenge on me last week. Well, Cappa….. *Drek slowly walks right over to the Mad Cappa and stares face-to-face with him* DREK ……I’m a whole lot better at this revenge angle. *Both men continue to stare at each other with looks of anger as the camera fades away into a commercial* (Go break) (Return from break) COLE Well folks..it's time to announce some new particpants for the Emperor of Death sixteen man single elimination deathmatch tournament to take place over two nights at License To Pin: This Ain't Oz! COACH Joining "Shooter" Jay Darring, SB87, Nate, Mikey, Sly Sommers, Hoff, Scotty Static, and Drek Stone in the tournament will be Johnny Jackson, Cuban Wall, Vitamin X, and Chris Stevens. CABOOSE This tournament's shaping up quite nicely...and don't forget: there's still four more open slots left... COLE Actually, there's three...you see, the Board of Directors heard Sly Sommers's case to put him versus Calvin Szechstein in the first round, and they've made a decision. They've decided that Calvin will be in the tournament...but he will NOT be facing Sly Sommers in the second round. They've decided that they won't throw out such a huge match for just the opening round of this tournament. But, since each round's opponents will be chosen by random draw, they could face each other in any other round that they both advance to! Camera cuts to backstage, where we see Sly Sommers kind of smirk, but then angrily walk off from the monitor. Jackie Gayda then catches up to him for an interview... JACKIE Sly, why are you mad? Calvin's in the tournament... SLY But I don't get first crack at him. I want to take him out at one hundred percent. And plus...this gives Cal the chance to wimp out and get himself pinned and eliminated in the first round before I get to destroy him! But I'm not mad...or at least I won't be after I get through making an example of Phoenix later! (Sly goes into the locker room and slams the door...and the Rave and Assault Squad exit out of Locker Room B and rush past Jackie. The cameraman follows them as they run into the arena. Nate and Mikey rush into the ring, and SB87 grabs Michael Buffer's microphone...) SB87 What's up, bitches? Last week, me and my boys laid down a challenge for a four-way match in the Emperor of Death tournament called Parental Indiscretion 2: Daredevil's Delight. We'd have tables, ladders, chairs, a giant platform above and around the ring, and other stuff to beat each other with. Guess what? No one's accepted our invitation as of yet. So whoever wants some...can get their pansy ass out here now! COLE Wait...there's an incident backstage with Rick Edwards and J. Arthur...take it away! *Backstage we see a whole group of officials holding two men back as there is a lot of shouting* RICK You son of a bitch!! You’re family! I trusted you! J. ARTHUR Don’t you get it!? I did it for you man! You don’t need them. I’ve made you into twice the person you were before and you should be thanking me! *Rick tries to break free of the officials, but they hold him back* RICK Thanks to you I’ve managed to alienate everyone that ever cared about me! You lied to me! J. ARTHUR I gave you a new life and I gave you a job! Haven’t you liked the nice bonuses The Boss has given you? Didn’t I see you driving a new car!? RICK You know what!? You can keep the money and the car…I quit your stupid law firm! *J. Arthur lunges forward, but the officials stop him* J. ARTHUR You can’t quit! Do you realize what you’re doing? You are throwing away all the progress you made! You are setting yourself up for disappointment and failure! RICK You’re the disappointment and the only failure was my failure to see through your bull! J. ARTHUR Fine you’ve chosen your path! If you care so much about these people then maybe you should go check on your buddy Eddy Kalm! He just got out of his meeting with Mr. Cain. *Rick’s face turns a pale white as he breaks away from the officials and runs down a hallway. A cameraman follows him and we get a shaky picture as he runs down the hall. Finally Rick reaches the locker room and runs in. We see Eddy lying on the ground unconscious and the locker room is a mess. Rick stands there with a shocked look on his face. J. Arthur shows up behind him.* J. ARTHUR You chose him over me? RICK You’re insane…your boss is insane…and Cain is psychotic. If you want to beat someone down then why don’t you just face me in the ring instead of attacking defenseless people? J. ARTHUR There’s not going to be a match between us Rick! You may have decided to turn your back on family, but I haven’t. One way or another I will convince you of the error of your ways and I’m sure you’ll come back. *J. Arthur leaves as Rick looks pissed* (Cut back to the arena) SB87 What the hell was that? I see how it works...we're not "important", so you guys feel like you can cut away from us whenever. Well, that's fine...I think we just found ourselves an opponent. Guys, follow me... (The Rave and Assault Squad go backstage.) COACH Folks...this entire place is in shambles. Sly Sommers's threatening to destroy an enhancement talent tonight, Rick Edwards's associate J. Arthur Edwards has lost it, and the Rave and Assault Squad have "found their guy"? COLE Folks, we NEED to take a break...more hD~! in 3! (Go to break)

(Return from break) COLE It's now time to go to the ring for our next contest...Buffer, take it away! "Gimme Back My Bullets" starts up, and Sly Sommers comes to the ring. He makes a bee-line straight to the squared circle, not paying attention to the fans around him. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall, with a fifteen-minute time limit. Introducing first, from Bayside, California...he is Sly Sommers! COACH Sly was apparantly telling people before the show that he's going to debut a variation of one of his finishing moves, and it's called the Slyledriver. Wouldn't explain what it was, though. BUFFER And his opponent...already in the ring, from El Paso, Texas; weighing in tonight at 185 pounds...Phoenix! *DING**DING* The bell rings, and we're underway here. Lockup between the two men immediately, and Sly locks in a headlock. He then repositions his leg and drives Phoenix onto the mat with a drop toe hold. Sly then switches into a front facelock. Sly then hooks Phoenix's near leg and cradles him... 1.... Kickout. Sly easily goes into a reverse waistlock when Phoenix tries to get up. Phoenix gets to one foot, but Sly sends him down with a legpick. Sly then goes back to the front facelock. Sly pulls Phoenix to his feet using the front facelock, switches around, and performs a snapmare. Sly then locks in a rear chinlock. Phoenix isn't worn down too much, so he makes his way to his feet, switches to the side, and shoves Sly off to the ropes. Sly bounces off and leapfrogs over Phoenix. Sly comes off of the ropes again and reverses a back elbow into an Irish whip on Phoenix. COLE It looks like Sly's calm thus far. Sly drops down as Phoenix comes off of the ropes, and Phoenix jumps over him. Sly comes back up, and Phoenix jumps over him to bring him over with an armdrag. Phoenix then goes for a monkey flip as Sly comes up, but Sly grabs the legs and lets Phoenix just fall. Sly then hooks the legs under his armpits, and nails a catapult into the corner. As Phoenix bounces off, he stumbles into a schoolboy... 1... 2... Kickout. Both come to their feet, and Sly sends Phoenix down with a clothesline. Sly then pulls Phoenix up, and whips him off to the ropes. Phoenix comes off of the ropes and runs into a high back body drop. Sly pulls Phoenix up, and shoves him into a corner. Sly then lets loose with one stiff chop after another, turning Phoenix's chest beet-red. COACH It looks like more of Sly's aggression is coming out! Sly whips him to the opposite corner, and charges at him with a flying double-knee to the chest. Sly then hooks Phoenix's head and drives his face into the mat with a running bulldog. Sly then comes off of the ropes and nails a jumping legdrop. Sly goes for the pin... 1... 2... Kickout. Sly pulls Phoenix up, and whips him to the ropes. Phoenix is then met with a kick to the stomach. Sly then comes off of the ropes to his right and delivers a stiff running kick to the side of the head. The impact causes Phoenix to spin around, and walk right into a slam lift from Sly. Sly then nails a version of the Catatonic, dropping Phoenix neck-first onto his knee! CABOOSE That'll seal you a trip to the chiropractor in the morning! Sly goes for the cover... 1... 2... Kickout. Sly's face starts to get red, as he believed this would be an easy victory. Sly pulls Phoenix up, but Phoenix counters with a jawbreaker. Phoenix then runs, springboards to the second rope, and nails a back elbow. Phoenix pulls Sly up, and nails a pretty split-legged spinning neckbreaker. Phoenix then goes to the second rope and nails a moonsault, immediately going for the cover... 1... 2... Kickout. Phoenix whips Sly to the ropes after pulling him up. Phoenix then nails a rolling Koppo kick. Phoenix follows up by pulling Sly up and nailing a snap suplex. Phoenix turns it over as if he's going to do it again, but he then switches it to a snapmare. Phoenix then goes to the second rope behind Sly, and connects with a picture-perfect swanton Hennig Neck Snap! Phoenix goes for the cover... 1... 2... Kickout. Phoenix pulls Sly up by the hair, and then sits down on the top turnbuckle. He hooks Sly in a front facelock, and nails a tornado DDT. Phoenix goes for the cover once again... 1... 2... Kickout. Phoenix pulls Sly up and slams him down to the mat. Phoenix then connects with a standing moonsault. Phoenix goes for the cover... 1... 2... Kickout. Phoenix pulls Sly up by the wrist, and nails a short-arm dropkick. Phoenix goes to the apron, and nails a snap slingshot senton onto Sly. Phoenix goes for yet another cover... 1... 2... Kickout. Phoenix pulls Sly up and nails a nice front slam. Phoenix then climbs to the top rope. He stops for a second to yell something at a fan in Spanish. Phoenix then gets fully standing on the top rope, and goes for a flipping legdrop. But, Sly rolls out of the way and Phoenix lands on his tailbone! Both men then slowly come to their feet. Sly then starts to mount an offense with three punches in a row. Sommers whips Phoenix off to the ropes, Sly nails a punch to the gut, comes off of the ropes to his left, and nails a spinning neckbreaker. COLE It didn't take long for Sly to come back! Sly then pulls Phoenix up, hooks a double-underhook, and drops him on his neck with a move similar to the double-underhook backbreaker. Sly pulls Phoenix up and stands him up in a corner. Sly then goes to mid-ring, charges, and nails a stiff step-up kick to the jaw. Sly then puts Phoenix on his shoulders, and nails a Cradle Shock (fireman's carry Michinoku Driver)! Sly goes for the cover... 1... 2... Kickout. Sly waits for Phoenix to get up. When he gets to one knee, Sly charges forward. But, Phoenix ducks his Shining Wizard attempt, and brings Sly over with a schoolboy... 1... 2...Kickout. Both come to their feet, and ducks a clothesline. Sly then hooks Phoenix and drops him with a front-fall neckbreaker. Sly then goes up top. He signals for the top rope elbow drop. He launches, but Phoenix saw it coming and moved out of the way. Both men slowly come up. When both get to their feet, Phoenix goes for a hurricanrana. But, Sly catches him and drops him with a high angle powerbomb! COACH That can't feel too good! Sly then grabs Phoenix's ankle and rolls him backwards and onto his feet. Sly whips Phoenix off to the ropes. Phoenix comes off of the ropes and dives at Sly, but Sly catches him, hooks Phoenix's head underneath his armpit, hooks the arms, and nails a cradle butterfly suplex! Sly then waits for Phoenix to get up. When he does, Sly kicks him in the stomach and nails the Horrorscope! COLE Sly dropped him RIGHT on his head with the straitjacket implant DDT! Sly pulls him up, and looks angry while doing so. He hooks Phoenix, crosses Phoenix's arm over his own stomach, and nails a brutal-looking USA High Angle 2K4 Drop! Sly then pulls Phoenix up, hooks his head underneath his armpit, and nails the One Hit Wonder! Sly rolls himself and Phoenix back onto their feet, and places Phoenix's head in between his legs. He then crosses Phoenix's arms across his own chest, lifts, and...drops him with a straitjacket piledrver! COLE That MUST be the Slyledriver! COACH Damn, that's a good move! Sly goes for the cover... 1... 2... 3! BUFFER Your winner of the contest, Sly Sommers! CABOOSE I have to admit, that was one heck of a debut for Sly's Slyledriver! Sly then grabs the microphone from Michael Buffer... SLY I know the Board of Directors won't let it happen in the first round of Emperor of Death...so let's do it NOW! Calvin, get your ass out here so I can murder you! "I'm The Bomb" starts playing over the PA system, to allude to Calvin Szechstein coming out to the ring. Sly waits...and waits...and waits... SLY Come on, take your asskicking like a man! The song continues to play until someone in a leather jacket holding what looks like a lighttube slides into the ring, coming from the crowd. He spins Sly around, and busts the lighttube over Sly's face! The camera closes in to show that it's Calvin Szechstein! COLE Well, isn't this a surprise? CABOOSE And a heck of a pleasant one too! Calvin then pulls something out of his pocket and starts to dig it into Sly's face. The camera pans in to show that he's using scissors to cut Sly's forehead open. Security and officials then rush out to the ring to get Calvin away. He gives up without a fight, and struts happily to the back, leaving Sly in a pool of his own blood. COACH Folks, I honestly don't know what just happened... CABOOSE I do: Sly Sommers got punked! Sly, when you turn your back on your blood and go soft, that's what you get! COLE Whatever...the fact remains that Calvin Szechstein could have to face Sly in one of the later rounds of the Emperor of Death Tournament at License To Pin, and I sure as hell hope he does...more after the break. (Cut to break with a shot of Sly being helped out of the ring) (Return from break) *The scene opens up to Drek pacing around the room nervously, with the Italian title still over his shoulder, as The Mad Cappa is still forced to sit in the chair* DREK Okay…….okay……… CAPPA Come on, Drek. What are you pacing around for? Nothing to be all nervous about, right? DREK …..okay, fine. Hell-in-the-Cell at License to Pin. You got it. CAPPA As if you had a choice. Enjoy the Italian Title while you have it. It’s only going to be for a few more weeks. DREK ……really? See, Cappa, you’re forgetting something. Here I am getting all nervous about this cage match when the truth of the matter is: I knocked you out cold last time. If those medical workers didn’t have the luxury of running into the ring and working on you right away, who knows what your condition would be right now. But see, come License to Pin, we’re going to be locked inside of that cell. And, once I make you bleed…..once I snap your bones like brittle twigs…..once I knock you unconscious for yet a SECOND TIME…..they won’t be able to save you. They won’t be able to run in and help you. I’m going to be free to do whatever I want. So I’m happy you requested this match. It just wipes the blood off of my hands. CAPPA You know…….that speech would have meant a hell of a lot more if you actually believed it. *The audience, once again, begins to scream out “CAPPA! CAPPA!” empowered at the fact that he’s still not giving into Drek’s threats* DREK Oh, I believe it. And at this point, I really think you should shut your mouth. You ruined my entire game plan for tonight, you know that? I rented those security guards to arrest you under those unofficial means. I paid them to bring you back here and sit you on that chair. And then, you know what…….I had some great plans to get my revenge after last week. But you threw me off the plan with that “Hell-In-A-Cell” announcement, I have to admit. CAPPA Did I? Well, is this going to throw you off your game plan too? *Cappa suddenly gives Drek a hard kick to the midsection. The arena breaks out in cheers as Drek falls to his knees, holding his stomach in pain. He quickly makes it back to his feet and backs away from the Mad Cappa* DREK It might. But luckily, the night is still young. *Drek suddenly lunges forward and rams the gold plate of the Italian Title into the Mad Cappa’s face! The chair falls backward onto the floor with a “THUD!”, followed by a loud shout from Cappa. Drek quickly gets back up onto his feet and pulls the chair back up into an upright position. Unfortunately, that belt shot has opened up a gash line on the Mad Cappa’s forehead. The blood begins to drip down his forehead, and it’s easy to see that he’s in noticeable pain* DREK And look at you…..helpless to wipe any of that blood off your face…..you’re a joke, Cappa. You’re NOTHING BUT A JOKE! *Out of nowhere, the Mad Cappa unexpectedly spits straight into Drek Stone’s face. With a scowl, Cappa begins to scream at Drek* CAPPA I WON’T BE HELPLESS AT LICENSE TO PIN!! I WON’T BE HANDCUFFED LIKE THIS!! YOU’RE FINISHED, DREK! *Drek abruptly runs forward and slams the Italian Title into the Mad Cappa’s face once again. Just as before, the chair tips over and falls backward. Drek moves near Cappa’s prone body and begins to lay in some brtual stomps to the head and chest region of the Mad Cappa. Falling to his knees, he holds the Italian Title up to the Mad Cappa’s face* DREK You’re never getting this. Be it a pure wrestling contest, no-holds-barred, OR Hell-in-A-Cell……you’ll always be a failure against me. *Drek immediately stands back up and starts heading for the door. He suddenly stops and looks back at Cappa for one more time* DREK Unfortunately, it sucks for you that I have the handcuff keys in my pocket. Better hope whoever saves you – IF anybody saves you – has an extra pair. Once again, I win. Like always. *Drek slams the door shut as the camera slowly fades away* (Go to break)

(Return from break) COACH Well, I've just been informed that both Black T and the New New Midnight Express have been suspended from this week's show for their out of control brawls last week. COLE That's right, some OAOAST staff actually got hurt by their actions! CABOOSE Your mom is not OAOAST staff. And her feelings don't count. COLE She doesn't like to see T.Bod get hurt. She has this thing for him, and I don't blame her actually. You see T.Bod- Cue: Hit Me Verdi One More Time CABOOSE Thank God for that. BUFFER Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is set for one fall. Introducing first, making their way to the ring, they are the monsters from down below, the masters of pain and misery, the biggest tag team in the OAOAST today...at a total combined weight of SEVEN HUNDRED AND TWENTY TWO POUNDS, the Devilman, JIIIIIIIIINGUS and the SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADIST- HELL'S HITMEN! The massive duo make their way to the ring to crowd antagonism. COLE These guys aren't popular for their attack on the GPX two weeks ago. CABOOSE What about last week? Those dancing runts knocked Hell's Hitmen out with cameras! Expensive technology to the head! HH climb into the ring and face their opponents. BUFFER And their opponents, already in the ring, total combined weight four hundred twenty nine pounds, they are Dr. Stephen Pigley and Dr. Max Anderson, the LOVE DOCTORS! Pigley and Anderson have generic long blonde hair and matching pink trunks. Oh, and they're wearing long white Doctor's coats. They bump and grind in the general direction of female fans. CABOOSE Wait, these guys are doctors? COLE Apparently so. CABOOSE Is that the best gimmick they could think of? COACH It's better than yours... *SMACK* DING DING DING JINGUS decides to start for the Hitmen, up against Dr. Stephen Pigley. Pigley takes off his coat, hands it to the referee, and offers a shake to JINGUS, who slaps the hand away. Pigley looks offended, not to say a little scared, and he takes his own pulse. JINGUS advances, growling, but the Doctor won't lock up till he's sure his heartbeat is at optimum rate. At last, we get a lockup, and JINGUS immediately overpowers his smaller opponent, pushing him down to one knee. Dr. Max Anderson slaps his hand on the turnbuckle, trying to garner support for his partner, but the crowd don't seem impressed. Pigley tries to headbutt JINGUS in the stomach. The Devilman growls and picks up the Doc, before planting him with a stiff bodyslam. A trio of dropped elbows, and JINGUS tags in the Sadist. Sadist pulls Pigley up and then just murders him with a lariat that spins the Doc 360. COLE Sadist isn't the most accomplished of wrestlers, but he's so damn strong. Pigley might be in hospital tonight, and not on duty. Sadist smirks and scrapes Pigley off the mat. Whip to the turnbuckle, and Sadist crushes his opponent with an avalanche. As Stephen staggers out, Sadist gorillas presses him, carries him across the ring and gives him Snake Eyes on the Love Doctors turnbuckle. Dr Max Anderson tags himself in, runs at Sadist, and eats a big boot to the mush. Sadist picks Anderson up and tags in JINGUS. Hell's Hitmen whip Max to the ropes and hit him with a double team spinebuster. COACH I think that may actually have bust his spine. CABOOSE Maybe he knows a good chiropracter. JINGUS isn't ready for a cover, picking up the Doc and setting him for THE DEVIL BOMB! But Dr Pigley is up, and runs into the ring. He reaches into his tights, and brings out a stethoscope. CABOOSE Worst. Foreign object. Ever. Pigley tries to whip JINGUS with the stethoscope. The Devilman grabs it from him, and wraps it around the Doc's throat, before using it to deliver a stethoscope assisted CLAWSLAM! Pigley rolls out of the ring, gasping for air, as JINGUS raises Anderson up and hits THE DEVILBOMB! Tag to Sadist, who climbs up top and hits his huge DIVING ELBOW TO THE LARYNX! ONE TWO THREE DING DING DING BUFFER The winners of the match- HELL'S HITMEN! And JINGUS has a mic. JINGUS Global Pussy Exchange- COLE Hey, I'd like to hang out there. CABOOSE Yeah right... JINGUS-we were prepared to allow you to survive in the OAOAST. We were prepared to wrestle you, if need be. But after the disrespect shown to Hell's Hitmen last week, we will allow you NOTHING. Crowd BOOS! JINGUS At Licence To Pin, we will be waiting for you. You bring you skinny asses to the ring, and we'll make the Emperor of Death tournament look like a church meeting. GPX, Hell's Hitmen have a contract out on you. It will be signed in YOUR BLOOD! Hell's Hitmen leave to jeers. COACH Well, looks like we got ourselves another match for LTP! CABOOSE Only if GPX accept the challenge. COLE Of course they will. They're not in the building tonight, but I guarantee they will be here next week to give their answer. CABOOSE You guarantee? What happens if you're wrong? Can I punch you? COLE Sure! I'm *that* confident. CABOOSE I'll do it now, just in case. *KAPOW!* COACH Heh. Let's go to something else! CUE: "Black" by Sevendust COLE Ladies and gentlemen, it is now time for...for Hoff's "International Amnesty Exhibition." COACH Do we have any idea just what this is yet? COLE Not at all. CABOOSE Come on, you guys! It's OBVIOUS. Hoff, as the 24/7 Champion, and as a representative of this company, is simply trying to extend goodwill toward our fellow nations. COLE Oh, right, I'm sure that's exactly what this is. CABOOSE Come now, Michael. As an Englishman, I, for one, am glad to see such a gesture from one of our superstars. Hoff, dressed a white Thrillogy T-shirt and jeans, saunters down to ringside, jawing with the fans and repeatedly stopping to buff his title belt. Hoff tosses the belt over the top rope and slides into the ring, grabbing the belt and posing for the fans before asking for a microphone. HOFF Welcome to the future~! The fans resoundingly boo Hoff out of the building. HOFF You're too kind, you're too kind. But, this isn't about me, kids. Tonight is a celebration. A celebration of peace and -- The fans jeer at Hoff's obviously mocking tone. HOFF A CELEBRATION of peace and goodwill towards one another. CABOOSE See? Goodwill! COLE Uh-huh. Hoff gives the crowd his best cheshire cat grin before continuing. HOFF Because if there's two things the Thrillogy is all about, it's peace and goodwill. FANS "YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!" COACH The crowd's letting Hoff have it! COLE Yeah, they're not buying this. Hoff puckers his lips and mokcs an expression of emotional hurt...then doubles over laughing. HOFF All right, all right. I get it, you don't trust me. You think that just because a guy beats people up, for no reason, just because a guy doesn't walk around kissing hands and shaking babies, that he can't be up to any good. Is that right? The fans cheer. COLE Yeah! HOFF Well, maybe tonight...maybe, just maybe, I can change your minds. So without further ado, let me bring out my assisstant for tonight's exhibition. Straight from the mean streets of Moscow, Russia, PLEASE, give a warm welcome to...IGOR STOYANOVICH!!!! COACH Who? The Soviet Union National Anthem kicks in over the arena loudspeakers as the fans turn to the arena entrance, bewildered. A young, blond man steps out from the curtain, short and pencil-thin, clad in a pair of workout pants and a Hoff is the Future t-shirt (on sale for $19.99 at OAOASTshopzone.com). He has a big, genuine smile on his face as he walks down the ramp. COLE Igor...Stoyanovich? CABOOSE He's Hoff's assistant! What a great day for world unity! Igor Stoyanovich skips to the ring, climbing the steps and stepping in, raising his hands over his head! The fans actually give Igor a slight pop as Hoff looks on, smiling thinly and applauding politely. COLE I don't know, you guys, I smell trouble. CABOOSE No way. Igor walks over to Hoff and enthusiastically shakes the hand of the 24/7 titleholder. HOFF Igor........WELCOME TO HELDDOWN~! Igor jumps up and down as the fans pop HUGE! COACH YEAH BABY~! The HD is in the HOOOOOOOOOUSE~!~!~! CABOOSE I. Loathe. You. Hoff chuckles as Igor runs around the ring. HOFF All right, my friend, settle down. Now...who are some of your favorite OAOAST superstars? Hoff holds the mic to Igor's lips as the young Russian man thinks. IGOR Um....the Zack Malibu! The fans boo as Hoff smiles and nods. HOFF Yeah, Zack Malibu, absolutely...who else? IGOR Um....uh....the Calvin Sa-heck-a-stine! Hoff laughs as the fans jeer again. COLE Oh, come on! CABOOSE What? COLE Please, 'Booze, Hoff has obviously told Igor what to say! CABOOSE What, how dare you? Maybe Igor just appreciates fine, technical wrestling! COLE Come on. Igor smiles and gives Hoff a big thumbs up, and Hoff shoots one right back at him. HOFF Heh, that's right, Calvin Szechstein, everyone loves Cal, for sure....but come on, Igor, who else? Hoff steps back, smiling, pointing one thumb at himself while he holds the mic to Igor's lips. Igor scratches his head... IGOR Um....uh.........ummmm....how you say....the ANGLESAULT! The crowd pops! COACH Anglesault? Hoff pulls the mic back to his lips and looks at Igor funny. HOFF Anglesault... Igor quickly yanks the mic away from Hoff! IGOR And Gunner Sharps!! HOFF WHAT?! The crowd pops huge as Hoff's eyes bug out. The big man's nostrils flare as Igor shrinks away slightly. COACH So much for Hoff feeding Igor his lines! CABOOSE Ah, shut up with this. Hoff takes a deep breath and Igor takes a tenative step toward him. IGOR Did I...did I do wrongly? Hoff looks down, swallows, then looks back up at Igor. HOFF No, Igor, no...you did just fine. Hoff pats Igor on the shoulder. COLE I don't like where this is going-- HOFF So, Igor...now as long as I have you out here, I figured...in the spirit of international harmony, I would introduce you, Russia's own, to two American icons. Igor's eyes light up. COACH American icons? COLE Who could this be? CABOOSE Does he mean Zack and Calvin? COLE Oh please. CABOOSE What? Hoff grabs Igor by the arm and turns his focus to the entrance. HOFF So, Igor, without further ado, let me introduce to you.....Mario and Luigi, the MARIO BROTHERS~! Igor smiles wide as two men dressed as the mustachioed plumbers from Brooklyn walk down to the rign, waving to the crowd. The arena fills with boos as Hoff laughs to himself. COLE Oh, come on. CABOOSE Yes! COACH Hey, you think it's Calvin and Zack again? CABOOSE ....... "Mario" and "Luigi" enter the ring and walk over to Igor, each shaking his hand. HOFF Huh, how about that, Igor? Two American cultural icons. But that's not alllll....Igor, how would you like your picture taken with the Marios? Igor nods happily, and a cameraman slides into the ring. Hoff, Igor, and the Marios stand arm in arm. HOFF Okay, now say cheese on three, okay? One, two three..... *CLICK* The cameraman darts out of the ring as the group of men in the ring break their pose. HOFF There we go, there we go...Igor, I promise you, I'll send you a copy of that photo as soon as it's developed. Igor smiles, then waves to the Mario Brothers as they exit the ring and head up the ramp. HOFF Yep, that's it now, goodbye, Mario! Bye Luigi! An uneasy quiet settles over the arena as Hoff and Igor bid the Marios farewell. CABOOSE Well, how 'bout it, Cole? COLE Well, I don't know, I STILL don't trust Hoff, but maybe...maybe he is out there trying to make some kid's day. CABOOSE THAT'S RIGHT. COACH You think that was Calvin and Zack in those masks? CABOOSE Maybe...let's ask AJ Flaire! AHAHAHAHA.... COLE Would you stop. Hoff turns to face Igor after the Marios disappear behind the curtain. HOFF All right, Igor, so have you had a good time so far? IGOR DA! Hoff chuckles. HOFF Good! Good. But, Igor buddy, we ain't through yet. No way. Because I happen to know that YOU are a huge wrestling fan, is that right? IGOR DA! DA! DA! COLE Oh geez. HOFF That's right, and you know, in addition to being a championship athlete, and in addition to being such a charismatic performer, I myself am first, and foremost, a wrestling fan. Hoff smiles out to the crowd, and most of them boo, but a few, scant cheers cut through the audience. HOFF So, whaddya say, Igor, that we give these fans a wrestling exhibition? The fans cheer as Igor readily agrees! IGOR DA! DAAAAAAAAAAAA! YEAH YEAH YEAH~!! Hoff laughs heartily as the fans cheer. HOFF All right, buddy. So let me ask you a very important question. Igor, what is your favorite wrestling move? Igor takes a deep breath and shouts out... IGOR SPINEBUSTER~!!! Hoff's eyes go wide and a big grin spreads across his face. HOFF The spinebuster? Why, Igor, that's my favorite move too! Igor lights up as Hoff nods, and Hoff slaps Igor a high-five. COLE Guys, I don't like this... COACH Me either. CABOOSE They have something in common! How sweet. HOFF All right, man, let's try something. How about...how about you give me your VERY BEST spinebuster? Igor shakes his head, but Hoff interjects. HOFF No no, it's okay, I'm a tough guy, I can take it! Igor looks at Hoff, then out to the crowd, shrugging, and the fans cheer! COACH I think they wanna see it! Igor paces the ring, and Hoff waves the crowd up as an "IGOR!" chant builds! COACH Listen to this! COLE This is...surreal. Igor looks down, then spins back to look at Hoff and says IGOR DA! HOFF Yeah! All right, Igor, I'm gonna run off the ropes, then you catch me and do the move, okay? Igor nods as Hoff sets the mic down, then nods at Igor. Hoff, at half speed, jogs off the ropes and runs back at Igor, who bends down, grabs Hoff, and lifts him about three inches off the ground, then drops him gingerly on his BUTT. Hoff lies down, feigning pain, as Igor pumps his fist in celebration! COACH Ha! Yeah, go Igor! COLE Aw, come on. CABOOSE What, Cole? Igor did the move! PERFECTLY! Ah ha... COLE Come on, Caboose, this kid Igor is maybe 120 pounds soaking wet, he barely lifted Hoff off the ground, and Hoff is..he's laughing about it! CABOOSE Well he's AMUSED! Geez, Cole, is everything some SCHEME with you? COACH Mikey I gotta agree with Booze, this seems legit! COLE I don't know... Hoff sits up, laughing, and holds a hand out. Igor picks him up, and the two men share another high-five. Igor continues celebrating as Hoff picks up the microphone. HOFF Man, Igor, that was great! The fans pop extra-large~! HOFF But, Igor, you know what'd be great now? Igor shakes his head. HOFF If I could spinebuster YOU. Hoff smiles as a cry passes over the arena. Igor scratches his chin...and agrees! COLE Oh, no. CABOOSE Now now... COLE Caboose, NO! CABOOSE Michael, he's just gonna give a safe demonstration, that's all! Hoff nods at Igor, then sets the mic down and stand in the center of the ring. Igor rubs his hand together, then jogs off the strands and comes at Hoff. Hoff bends down to catch him...then suddenly grabs Igor by the shoulder and fires him off the opposite side! COLE What? The fans shout as Igor comes flying off the ropes...and Hoff DRILLS him with a HUGE spineuster~! Hoff pops to his feet, looking down with a sick smile as Igor writhes in pain! COLE NO! Dammit, no! Come on, Hoff, WHY? Hoff picks up the microphone as the fans drown him in boos. HOFF Oh, Igor, man, I'm sorry, we got going too fast there... COLE This is sick. HOFF Here, buddy, let me help you up. Hoff holds a hand down to Igor, and the man tenatively reaches out. Hoff grabs him by the hand...YANKS him off the mat, then whips him around and catches him with a short-arm clothesline! Igor drops to the mat as Hoff holds his arms out to the sides, posing and basking in the catcalls of the fans. COLE WHY? Why would Hoff do this? CABOOSE Why? WHY? Because it's FUNNY, Cole! It's downright hilarious! COLE Caboose, please. COACH Well...it was kind of clever... Hoff smiles and looks down at Igor. HOFF Igor...you poor, dumb son of a bitch. But didn't I promise you a night you would never forget? Hoff laughs and pulls Igor to his feet, who looks at Hoff with glassy eyes. Hoff chuckles, shakles his head, and FLOORS Igor with a stiff right hand. COACH Okay, now this is beyond the line. CABOOSE Heh heh. HOFF All right, people...listen up. I promised you an exhibition, and we aren't done yet. Now...maybe SOME of you read on "the internet" that I had a world-premiere debut of SOMETHING here tonight. And that, my friends, is one-hundred percent true. So, without further ado, allow me to present, in its WORLD PREMIERE, my NEW finishing move... COACH Finishing move? Hoff looks across the audience. HOFF ....the FUTURE SHOCK!!! COLE Future Shock? What is this? CABOOSE Quiet, we're about to see! Hoff tosses down the microphone and picks Igor up off the mat. Hoff grabs Igor by the hair, then turns him around and hooks him under his left arm in a reverse facelock. Hoff reaches down and grabs Igor by the waist, lifting him up in a reverse suplex position, and holds him in the air! COLE What is he gonna.... Hoff holds Igor up high....holds him....holds him... And drops him into a SITOUT REVERSE BRAINBUSTER!!!! COLE OH MY GOD! Hoff, sitting, smiles out to the fans, then kicks his legs and gets to his feet. The fans drown Hoff in a sea of boos as he grins an evil grin.... AND THE LIGHTS GO OUT!! COLE What the hell?!? Suddenly, a flame comes up from one corner post. Then another, and a third, and finally the last. Through the pale light we see Hoff looking nervously around the arena...when suddenly a blast of pyro goes off on the stage!! As the smoke dissipates, a pair of flaming staffs appear onstage! Hoff's eyes go wide as the video wall lights up once again... He is her guardian, watching from above Because of his deep, soulful love. The One will be there, in all his great might; Coming to help her, coming to fight And though you may try to thwart his plan Nothing will stop him from reforming his clan. You have everything to fear, and nothing to gain Because very, very soon you will all… FEEL THE PAIN The lights come on and the flames go out as the last three ominous words slowly fade off the screen. Hoff stares hard at the screen, with a frightened look on his face... COLE Another dark message for Hoff, but...what could it mean? COACH It seems like somebody's got it in for the big man! CABOOSE Yeah, but...it all seems so familiar...who could be behind this? Hoff spins around the ring, frantically, looking desparately across the cheering crowd. Hoff grabs his hair and shouts a stream of curses...then turns back toward the fallen Igor Stoyanovich! COLE Hey, stay away from him! It's not his fault! Hoff leans down and shouts at Igor, before pulling up and stomping him viciously! The fans boo as Hoff lays in hard shots to Igor's back. Hoff bends down, picks Igor up, hooks him from behind and AGAIN drops him in his new move, the Future Shock! COLE COME ON! COACH Someone get him outta there! Hoff begins stomping at Igor again, before security finally pulls Hoff off of him. EMTs attend to Igor as Hoff raises his arms and jawing at the crowd. Hoff picks up his 24/7 Title and heads out of the ring, being escorted by the guards. COLE Hoff unfairly taking out his frustrations on that kid, but you have to admit, someone is in his head? CABOOSE But who? Hoff turns back to the ring, holding his title belt above his head to the booing fans...who suddenly begin to cheer! CABOOSE Hey, the fans finally giving Hoff the respect he deserves! COLE Well, maybe-- oh wait!! Hoff nods and smiles as the fans cheer, then turns around...RIGHT INTO A SPEAR FROM GUNNER SHARPS!!!! COACH OH MY GOD!! IT'S GUNNER!! CABOOSE What, NO!! COLE He came through the crowd! Gunner Sharps is HERE!! Gunner DRILLS Hoff with the Sharp End and begins pummeling him with vicious right hands! Security reaches down, but it takes SIX MEN to pull Gunner off of Hoff! Gunner screams down at Hoff, then looks out to the crowd, raising his fist to the sky as the fans go completely BANANA~! COLE Gunner Sharps is BACK!! Security leads Gunner out of the arena as they check on Hoff. COACH Well what a comeback for Gunner Sharps! COLE Absoultely! But what about that message? And what comes next for Gunner? Or for Hoff? CABOOSE Hopefully some revenge! But...for WHO? COLE Folks, this isn't over by a longshot, and neither is this evening, so stay tuned! (Go to break)

We cut to ringside, where a man in a black karate gi is standing in the ring. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL! Currently in the ring, weighing in at 234 pounds...here is...KUNG...FU...KERRY!!!!!! Kerry punches and kicks at the air, then goes into a series of Power Ranger-esque poses. Suddenly, the arena lights drop, a flashing red light fills the arena, and smoke pours out from the locker room. BUFFER And his opponent...accompanied to the ring by Chris Bryte, hailing from Brooklyn, New York...weighing in tonight at 378 Pounds...THE HAAAAAND~! Bryte leads The Hand through the smoke at the entrance, and the crowd boos in the background as the two head down the ramp to ringside. In the ring, Kerry paces back and forth, frantically. COLE Well fans, Kung Fu Kerry has quite the task ahead of him tonight as he does battle with Chris Bryte's HAND! CABOOSE Cole... COLE Please don't... COACH It's THE HAND~! COLE (rolls eyes) Whatever. Of course, fans, when thinking of Chris Bryte and The Hand, one's mind must go to Panther. Two weeks ago, Chris Bryte said that in order to return to the OAOAST--in order to LEGALLY get his hands on Chris Bryte again--he had to agree to face The Hand one-on-one. The Hand went on to brutalize Panther, leaving him with cracked ribs and various other internal injuries, and since that time, Panther hasn't given a definite response to Bryte's challenge. Panther is uncertain as to whether or not fighting a monster like The Hand would be worth the risk in the long run... CABOOSE Tell it like it is, Cole: Panther's afraid of The Hand! He said so last week, and frankly, I don't blame him. With his bare hands, The Hand was able to fracture Tina's skull, crack Panther's ribs...he even KILLED one guy! The Hand is deadly, Cole, and for Panther to accept this challenge wouldn't just be stupid, it'd be downright suicidal. COLE Maybe. I'm being told through my headset that our producers have been trying to get in touch with Panther all day, hoping to get a definite answer tonight on hD. They've been unsucessful in reaching him thus far...hopefully, their luck will change, and we'll get word from Panther by the end of the night, but right now, The Hand does battle with KUNG FU KERRY! Here we go. Now in the ring, The Hand glares evily at KFK as Bryte shouts instructions from the apron. The music dies down, the lights return to normal, and referee Charles Robinson calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* With the match underway, KFK begins to stalk the stoic monster, contemplating his method of attack. KFK WAAAAAAAAH~! WAAAAAAAAAH~! WWWWWWWAAAAAAAAA-HA~! KFK goes into some stereotypical kung fu poses as The Hand stares at him quizzically. Then, KFK grits his teeth, raises his hands and charges The Hand with a full head of steam-- *WHAM* COACH DAAAAAAAAAAMN! The Hand catches him coming in with a STIFF~! right hand to the face, SHATTERING his nose and causing at least a dozen of KFK's teeth to go flying about the ring. With his opponent lying unconscious and injured on the mat, The Hand nonchalantly places his boot on his chest for the 1...2...3! *DING DING DING* **Cue "Where I'm From" BUFFER Here is your winner: THE HAAAAAAAAAAAND~! COACH That was quick. COLE The Hand making short work of Kung Fu Kerry...and this young man is gonna need medical attention, folks! He's hurt! Indeed, as Bryte heads into the ring to celebrate with his charge, a group of EMTs and officials rush out from the locker room to attend to KFK, who's lying in a somewhat awkward position on the canvas. CABOOSE Did you see that shot, guys?! COLE Let's take another look at the sickening power of The Hand! THE LOGO~! scrolls the screen, taking us to an instant replay, showing Kung Fu Kerry run directly into the huge fist of The Hand. COLE My God! COACH He damn near broke his neck there. We get two more replays of the punch before the logo scrolls the screen one more time, taking us to live action, where KFK is now being loaded onto a stretcher. In the ring, Bryte and The Hand laugh as the poor man is rolled back to the locker room. Then, Bryte calls for a mic from Buffer. Buffer obliges, and the music begins to die down as chants of "WE WANT PANTHER" echo throughout the arena. Bryte chuckles a bit more as he scours the arena--pointing out a sign in the crowd that reads "Panther will glove THE HAND~!" Then, as the chants begin to die down, Bryte raises the mic to his lips and begins to speak. BRYTE So...it seems that everybody here tonight at HeldDOWN wants Panther, eh?! Everybody wants to see the "Champion of Champions" here tonight! Am I right?! CROWD YEAH! BRYTE (chuckles) Well...TOO DAMN BAD, because you won't be seeing Panther ever again--not tonight or any other night for that matter! And you wanna know why?! (pauses for crowd response) It's because PANTHER FEARS THE HAND~! The crowd boos wildly in the background as Bryte smugly tosses his head into the air. The "WE WANT PANTHER" chants start up again, drawing more laughter from the Bryte man. BRYTE Hey...hey...you people don't seem to get it! Panther's gone! Panther's not coming back! You will never see Panther on an OAOAST show again! The crowd boos once more in the background. BRYTE And even if, by some miracle, Panther suddenly grows the balls to accept our challenge...THEN WHAT?! Huh?! I mean, it's not like he's any match of the Hand or anything. I mean, you just take a look back to two weeks ago! Look at just how quickly and how easily The Hand took Panther out that night! One or two punches was all it took to have Panther sitting up in a hospital room with internal injuries. Imagine just what kinda damage The Hand would do in a full one-on-one match against Panther! (crowd boos) That doesn't convince ya, huh? Well, let's take you back to last week, then! "J-Dogg" Johnny Gunn! Panther's former tag partner! Panther's toughest opponent! The Hand took him out and beat his ass in mere SECONDS! (crowd boos) Yeah! It only took a few seconds for The Hand to deal with someone that Panther'd been struggling with for YEARS! And it's like I said last week, if The Hand could take out Panther's toughest oppnent that easily...just what do you think he will do to Panther?! Chants of "Shut the fuck up" start up in the crowd. Bryte shrugs it off, though, and continues. BRYTE But hey...I guess I'm getting ahead of myself, because we all know that there's no way Panther accepts this challenge! We all know that Panther wants no part of The Hand! And why? It's because he's finally seen the light! Panther's realized that what I've been saying all along is...to barrow a phrase...THE FUCKING TRUTH! He's realized that he doesn't belong in a professional wrestling ring anymore! He's realized that he doesn't have what it takes to get it done in this ring! (crowd boos once again) Hey, you people don't have to like it, but you might as well accept the fact that Panther will never be seen in the OAOAST again. Now Panther...I'm sure you're watching this at home, and all I've got left to say to you, pal, is enjoy your life! Spend time with your family! Catch up with all your friends! Live the normal life that you've always wanted to live! Do all the things you wanted to do, but couldn't, because the business got in the way! Have a ball...because as far as I'm concerned, from this moment forward, Panther no longer exists! From this moment forward...PANTHER...IS...DEEEEEEAD! The crowd boos once more in the background, but the boos soon turn to cheers as we're met by the opening chimes of Eminem's "The Way I Am." The crowd pops in the background as a bleached-blonde man steps out onto the stage with a mic in his hand. COLE Hey...THAT'S J-DOGG! CABOOSE J-Dogg?! What's he doing here?! COLE J-Dogg is back! J-Dogg has returned to HeldDOWN~! On stage, Gunn holds his hand into the air, signalling to the tech crew to cut the music. The music dies down and J-Dogg steps to the edge of the stage with the mic raised to his lips. J-DOGG Panther's dead?! (chuckles) That's all good and well...but unfortunately for the two of you, "J-Dogg" Johnny Gunn is ALLLLIIIIIIVE and well! (crowd pops) BRYTE What the hell do you want?! I've got no beef with you, Gunn! J-DOGG Really? (scoffs) I see! Unfortunately, I can't say the same, because what I want, Bryte man, is a piece of both your asses! The crowd goes wild in the background as Gunn glares angrily down to the ring. In the ring, Bryte tries to keep The Hand calm as J-Dogg continues. J-DOGG You see, last week, I got a call from some OAOAST suit saying he wanted me to show up for a match! Now, naturally, it came as no surprise to me, because...well, c'mon! I'm the Best Damn Cruiserweight in the Biz; why wouldn't the OAOAST want me on its show?! (mild pop in the background) CABOOSE What a cocky bastard! J-DOGG So here I am, backstage at HeldDOWN~! I'm in a good mood, ready to come out to the ring and give these people the performance of a lifetime--a performance that before, they could only DREAM of seeing--and all the while, I'm being led to believe that I'm gonna be competing in a Cruiserweight match! BRYTE So?! So there was a miscommunication between you and management last week. What the hell's that got to do with me! J-DOGG Miscommunication my ass, Bryte! You and that jacked up freak set me up last week! BRYTE Um...now wait a minute, guy! You couldn't...(chuckles) you couldn't possibly think... J-DOGG Hey, don't even think of giving me any crap, Bryte! I may not be Einstein, but I know a damn trap when I see one! The two of you lured me here, you keep me in the dark about my opponent, and then try to use my name to make yourselves look good. Nice little game, Bryte, but I'll be damned if I'm gonna let the two of you get off that easily! BRYTE Heh...Johnny, really, man! I can see why you're upset! I mean, it's not easy getting outclassed...getting embarrassed by a superior athlete! But J-Dogg, you've gotta realize-- J-DOGG Bryte, you know, I know, and anybody on the face of this planet who knows me and knows what I'm about knows that on my best day and his worse day, THE HAND COULDN'T EVEN LACE MY BOOTS! The goes "Ooooh" in the background. In the ring, Bryte just laughs. BRYTE (To The Hand) Did he just say...(laughs) J-Dogg! Did you just say what I think you just said?! J-DOGG Oh I said it alright! I could beat The Hand anyday of the week, and not only that, but Bryte, I'm pretty damn sure that I could beat your ass as well! COLE My goodness! J-Dogg... CABOOSE He's a moron! BRYTE Now...J-Dogg, do you realize what you're saying? (Gunn nods affirmatively) Well...gee, Johnny...if you really feel that way...I dunno, Hand, maybe we should give Mr. Gunn an opportunity to back that statement up in the ring. J-DOGG Hey, that's no problem with me! Me against Bryte! Me against The Hand...hell, I'd take you both on! I guarantee you that I could take anybody--any bum off the streets--I could drag him off the streets, sit his ass on the apron and together, I guarantee that we'd beat the both of your asses! BRYTE J-Dogg...once again, I ask do you truly mean that? (Gunn nods again) Alright...so how about we do this...right here tonight... Bryte gets a signal from a ring attendent. BRYTE (to the attendent) No time tonight?! Alright...consider yourself spared for the time being, J-Dogg! But I tell ya what...I'm gonna give you one week's time for you to put your money where your mouth is! I want you to go out onto the streets and get any bum you can find! I don't care what you have to do, Gunn! Search the alleys! Search the train yards! Search every stinkin' cardboard box you can find! But come next week time, I want you to meet me and The Hand in this very ring, and then we'll see if you and this bum can beat our asses! That sound good to you?! J-DOGG That's fine with me! BRYTE Good! Then you're on, J-Dogg for next week, and I promise you, Gunn, it's gonna be your funeral! J-DOGG Heh...we'll see about that next week! Until then, forget about Panther...you two schmucks had better BEWARE...OF...DOGG!!!!!!! "The Way I Am" starts up over the PA system once more as J-Dogg flashes a smile down to the ring. Bryte pats The Hand on the shoulder and points up at Gunn again, repeating the words "It's your funeral." COLE So it looks as if we've got a match for next week! It'll be The Hand and Chris Bryte teaming up with J-Dogg and...well...some bum! COACH You think he's actually gonna bring in a REAL bum? COLE I...I have no clue. CABOOSE Well, I don't know much about this J-Dogg character, but I agree with the man on one thing: he's no Einstein! Anyone who voluntarily steps into the ring with The Hand has gotta be a fucking moron! COLE 'Boose! CABOOSE What?! COLE Language! CABOOSE LICK ASS! Just mark my words: Gunn's gonna be in for it next week! (Go backstage) (Alix Spezia is sitting on a table reading what appears to be a medical journal. Gotta love a woman with brains! Alix’s attempt to expand her mind is cut short when she sees that Candie is walking up to her. The look on Alix’s face isn’t exactly one of joy as she knows Candie is only here to cause trouble.) CANDIE Hello, Alix. How are you? ALIX I was doing fine. CANDIE What are you reading? ALIX A medical journal. I’m doing research. CANDIE For what? ALIX I’m taking a graduate class. You know. Graduate school? Education? Something that you obviously never got. (Candie doesn’t let the insult phase her. Instead she comes back with a barb of her own.) CANDIE You? In graduate school? Give me a break! How many people did you have to sleep with to get into graduate school? ALIX Less then the number of people you have to sleep with to keep your job. (We hear a crowd pop in the background. Candie starts to walk away but stop short when she notices something odd about Alix's medical book. There are pages sticking out past the bottom of the book! Something is awful! Candie decides to investigate. Before Alix can snatch the book away, Candie reaches over it and yanks out.....a magazine!) CANDIE What's this? ALIX Give that back, meanie! CANDIE Tiger Beat? Since when is Aaron Carter an expert on prostate cancer prevention. ALIX Give it back! CANDIE Not in a million and one years! This is way to good! You sit there and lord over me like your Marie Curie and all you're doing is reading some teeny bopper magazine. Heh! You could at least read Cosmo Girl. ALIX Give it back! CANDIE Say it one more time and maybe I really will. ALIX Give it back! CANDIE Nope, didn't work. Heh heh heh! (Red faced with embarrassment Alix desperately tries to take the magazine away from Candie. Candie giggles cruelly as she continues to turn her back towards Alix, preventing the heavily tanned diva from getting back her possession. Candie starts to thumb through the pages of the magazine and stops short when her eyes recognize why Alix has this magazine.) CANDIE Ah ha! Detective Candie solves another case. I know why you've got this rag; for the centerfold. (Candie opens the magazine and reveals the inside centerfold which features a racy (for a teenage girl magazine) spread of Synth Esizer spread out across the silk sheets covering a king sized bed.) CANDIE Hahahhaaa! You've got a crush on Synth! ALIX I do not! CANDIE Do so! How lame. I'm dating the greatest world champion of the modern era and what are you doing? Writing the name of some loser, David Bowie look a like, tag team jobber in your diary. The definition of lame. ALIX It isn't lame and he's not a loser and he's not a jobber! And I'm not writing his name in my diary! I don't have a diary. I have a blog. (Candie continues to look at the centerfold) CANDIE Oh my. What's this? There are kiss marks all over Synth's chest! Hahahaaaa! (Alix finally manages to snatch the magazine out of Candie hands. She rolls up the magazine as if she’s about to smack Candie with it) CANDIE Hmph. Whatever, the damage is done. I’m done here. While you’re kissing a picture of some seventh rate Axl Rose, who wants to be a second rate Alice Cooper, I’ll be spending my night with a real flesh and blood man. And what a man he is. (Candie walks off screen.) ALIX Shit. (Go to break) (Return from break) *The camera opens up to The Mad Cappa still sitting in that chair. Somewhat struggling to get out of the handcuffs, he stops for a moment and shoots a defiant look at Drek, who is now sitting a few feet away* CAPPA You don’t get it, do you, Drek? DREK …..get what? CAPPA Everything. Do you want to know why I attacked you last week? Because it’s time somebody brings you down to earth. Do me a favor. Think back to May. Think back to School’s Out. DREK There’s no reason to… CAPPA Think back to when I proved to the world just who was the better technical wrestler between the two of us. When I proved to every single person watching that night that I was more scientific than you, and overall, a better champion that you could ever hope to be. DREK I don’t think you’re in a position to be telling lies right now. CAPPA At that point, the feud should have been over. I outclassed you and proved you to be nothing more than a pathetic bitch. *The crowd lets out a loud cheer, and a chant of “CAPPA! CAPPA!” breaks out through the arena. Meanwhile, that latest comment got a rise out of Drek, who begins to stand out of his chair* CAPPA But what did you do? You whined and moaned until I decided – as only a respectable, fighting champion could – to grant you yet another shot at the Puerto Rican Title. And what do you do? Hit me with a pair of brass knuckles. Weaken me up and make me bleed, because you KNEW YOU COULD NOT BEAT ME THAT NIGHT! DREK Cappa, seriously now. SHUT…. CAPPA And then, you did manage to beat me at the Great Angle Bash. I can give you props for that. You won the Puerto Rican Title fairly using the rules I laid out. But Drek, when you hit me in the face with that sledgehammer…..you opened up some floodgates that I don’t think you were ready to handle. Ask Tha Puerto Rican. ASK HIM what I do to people who go a little too far. You’re in some serious trouble now, Drek. *SMACK!* *Suddenly, Drek delivers a vicious slap across The Mad Cappa’s face. Many of the fans in the arena let out a loud groan, then immediately start booing noisily. Cappa tries to get up, forgetting that he’s still handcuffed to the chair. Realizing the situation, he sits back down, seething angrily* DREK Nobody wants to hear the sob story, Cappa. CAPPA ……you might. DREK Oh, why is that? CAPPA Because I just came back from a meeting with the Board of Directors. That was why I came out to the ring tonight. To make an announcement that I think would have us both very happy. Remember when you said that I would never get another shot at the Italian Title? DREK …..yeah….. CAPPA Well, it looks like some important OAOAST officials disagreed with you. Because, at License to Pin, you’re going to be defending that title against me. The final encounter between me and you. *The fans start cheering, as Drek kicks over a nearby lamp. He’s clearly not happy at this decision* DREK See the corruption in this federation?! I already beat you once! Why in the hell should I have to do it again?! CAPPA Oh, I forgot to mention one thing… *Cappa takes a long pause, obviously to build the drama of the announcement* CAPPA This thing between me and you…….looks like it’s going to be HELL-IN-A-CELL! *The crowd EXPLODES after hearing this* COLE Wow! The Mad Cappa vs. Drek Stone in a “Hell in the Cell” match at License to Pin! I didn’t think that show could get any wilder! The camera gets a glance of Drek, who has a noticeable look of shock on his face, before fading away to the next commercial* (Go to break)

(Return from break) *all of the lights in the arena go out as The Misfits “Scarecrow Man” begins to play. A green light bathes the entrance way as the shadowy figures of Skull Mask and Skull Kid appear in the entrance way. Both men stoically look at the crowd before heading down to the ring. They climb in as Skull Mask stands stoically in the middle of the ring with Skull Kid climbing the ropes and showing the emotion he showed last week with a look of disdain to the crowd.* ANNOUNCER Ladies and Gentleman the following match is scheduled for one fall! Currently in the ring from Mexico City! Weighing in at 323 pounds.......SKULL MASK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Skull Mask raises one hand to the sky still with no expression on his face as Skull Kid walks by and grabs the microphone from the announcer.* SKULL KID Damaramu! I told you last week what a lowly pawn you were! Well a lowly pawn doesn’t even deserve a proper entrance! Just get to this ring right now and fight Mask! Get out here! NOW! *Skull Kid throws down the microphone and stands looking for Damaramu. Metallica’s “Unforgiven” begins to play as Damaramu appears on the entrance way with Ryan Smith. He gives Ryan Smith a high five and suddenly charges the ring!* COLE And here we go! Former partners dueling it out! *Skull Kid clears the ring as Damaramu and the big beast begin to slug it out. Skull Mask however gets the better of Damaramu and whips him into the ropes. Dama comes flying back through ducking a clothesline. Skull Mask turns around and is met with a vicious flying forearm! Mask however doesn’t go down but Damaramu is in his face delivering hard chops to the chest! Mask is reeling into the corner and Damaramu takes the opportunity to stomp a mudhole into him! Dama keeps stomping until Skull Mask is sitting down. Then he hits the opposite turnbuckle and baseball slides into Mask’s crotch! Mask writhes in pain, still no expression on his face as Dama gets back up and grabs him by the hair. Dama pulls the beast to his feet and begins to deliver hard punches to the face before whipping him into the opposite turnbuckle. Mask begins to fall forward out of the corner as Dama hits the ropes and lands a bulldog!* COLE Dama is taking the fight right to him! COACH No fear! *Dama goes for a quick cover! 1! 2!!! Kick out with authority!!! Dama is quickly back on the beast punching him while he is down. Skull Mask starts to stand but Dama comes up behind him and grabs him.....backdrop driver! Dama hits the ropes....legdrop! Dama hits the ropes again......Skull Kid grabs his foot! Dama turns around to say something to him giving Mask enough time to recover. Smith heads over to yell at Kid but the ref sticks his head out stopping any ensuing brawl. Dama turns around and walks right into a big boot! Mask is on him with ferocity though! Mask pulls Dama up by the throat and tosses him into the corner. Mask goes in with an avalanche and then grabs Dama by the throat with both hands before tossing him out of the corner! Dama is visibly shaken up by the throw but he tries to make it to his feet with the help of the ropes. But Skull Mask is still on him with clubbing blows to the back!* COLE I think in there time together Skull Mask learned the easiest way to beat Damaramu! You have to stay all over him! *Mask pulls Dama into the center of the ring and grabs him by the throat. Dama struggles but Mask easily hoists him up high and delivers a devastating chokeslam!!! Mask with a cover! 1!!!!!! 2!!!!!!!! Dama kicks out!* COLE That was close! COACH Such power that Mask wields! *Mask once again pulls Dama to his feet and hooks him between his legs getting ready to deliver his devastating helicopter sit out powerbomb! Mask lifts him and spins.......DAMA REVERSES INTO A DDT! BOTH MEN ARE DOWN!* COLE What a counter! Dama learned something in all there time together! COACH We all know it about Dama and so should Mask! He’s an opportunist and if you give him an inch he takes a mile! *Both men struggle to there feet at the same time. Skull Mask rushes Damaramu trying to get the jump but Dama ducks.....super kick! The beast is dazed! Damaramu goes to the second rope as Skull Mask staggers towards the corner! Dama grabs him around the head and leaps off......reverse DDT!!!! Dama goes for the cover! 1!!!!!!!! 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SKULL KID WITH A FROGSPLASH OFF THE TOP ROPE!* DING! DING! DING! ANNOUNCER The winner of the bout as a result of a disqualification........DAMARAMU! *Ryan Smith is quickly in the ring however as he rushes Skull Kid spearing him and delivering hard rights and lefts as Damaramu pulls himself to his feet collecting himself and shaking the cobwebs loose. Skull Kid is trying to fight back but Smith is all over him and Mask is still out! Dama rushes to Ryan Smith and pulls him off of Skull Kid pulling him to his feet!* SMITH What!? What’s wrong? DAMA(in smith’s face) Well......HE’S MINE! *Dama turns and pounces on Skull Kid delivering his own rights and lefts!* SMITH That’s not fair! We can both have him! *Smith pulls Dama off and pulls Skull Kid to his feet grabbing him in a full nelson as Dama begins to deliver hard rights and lefts. As soon as Dama is finished Smith snaps backwards dropping Kid with a hard Dragon Suplex! Both men exit the ring as the fans cheer them on.* COLE Damaramu and Ryan Smith get some measure of revenge for the threats that were issued to them 2 weeks ago by Skull Kid! COACH Some!? Words can’t hurt! What Dama and Smith did hurt though! *Both men stand at the top of the entrance ramp with there hands held high as the fans cheer like mad for them.* (Go to break) (Return from break) In a hallway backstage... Stephen Joseph WHAT the HELL do you mean no one signed up for a match? Crew Member #1 (Let's call him Bob) I mean no one signed up for a match. Stephen Joseph Those fu.... WHY NOT? "Bob" Umm. Well Sir? You're not exactly popular. Stephen Joseph No shit. But shouldn't that make people WANT to fight me? "Bob" Umm. Well...Sir? No offense, but after what Black did to you... You're not exactly in shape to wrestle. Medical didn't clear you. Stephen Joseph Medical? Watts....Ohhh the bastard Lawyer #1(Ummm...Dave) Mr. Popick? Stephen Joseph Yes suit? "Dave" Your request for PRL to get a title shot was denied by the Board. We can't have a known felon having a chance to represent our fine company. Stephen Joseph But an egotistical asshole, or a guy who sold his soul for a candy bar, or all the other chumps are? "Dave" The decision is final. Sign here. Since you're "Corporate" and all. ::Stephen Joseph takes the pen, and flicks it behind him:: Stephen Joseph 2 more weeks of this shit. "Bob" and "Dave" What's that mean? Stephen Joseph You know boys, how are you going to like it when I'm boss again... "Dave" That can't happen sir. Stephen Joseph Oh really? Hmmm. Well, I guess we'll find out. And oh boys, for your cooperation, I hope you, well, don't have a rough night. ::Stephen Joseph walks off, Bob and Dave are left in the highway:: Bob What's up his ass? Dave I don't talk to roadies. ::The lights pop out:: BAM~! CLUNK! EEP WHIIRRRRR POLKA ::The lights come back on. Bob's on the floor. Dave's on the floor. They're both knocked out. A tire iron lays on the linoleum floor. And a 5 is on the wall:: Elsewhere... Stephen Joseph is walking, a smirk on his face, when his cell phone rings. He answers it, smiling at whoever is on the other end. "That's really excellent news. I'm glad you located the other tape. Burn it." Pause... "Everything's going great. They're here, and I'm going to meet them. I think some people already have." Pause... "No. That won't be necessary. I'm sure someone will challenge me before then. After all, I'm the most hated man in the OAOAST, nevermind the chump. I'm sure we'll get that chance." Pause... "PRL? Send him some cookies. I'm sure he's fine." Pause... "The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist. It'll be good to see you again old friend." ::Click:: Stephen Joseph puts the phone back into his pocket, and walks off, stage left, right past another 5.

Popick, I feel I should let you know that your avatar does not work. It has not worked for months. There's nothing but a X. That X has been there for months. Is it your intention to drive me mad? FIX IT!!

Thank you for the answer. This time I mean it!

I'll pretend I know what "WWF Superstars" is and just say 'thanks for the answer!"

Stupid question alert! What's WCW Worldwide?

I'd rather see the PPV remain on the 31st and 1st. But that's just me. Some people may have planned their feuds out around the original date.

Yup. Yup. Send it all to moi.

If anyone's doing a jobber match don't use Tom Goran. I have something for him to do.

I'll leave some later.

Thanks for the compliment on the COD story Parka. Yes, feedback is lacking this week. I guess most people haven't got to read the show yet. I have the advantage of being able to read everything early so it's easier for me to leave feedback.

All in all a good show. The last two matches were gold! good job by KC ( I told you all he was a great writer) and NYU in writing those. The immature humor displayed by GPX during the J&S skit had me cracking up. I'd be surprised to see Sly/Calvin in the first round of the EOD tourny. I would've pegged that for the final. I like the Rick Edwards stuff. I'm a sucker for dramatic stories. RAS's match at LTP will probably be pretty cool, even though I don't actually understand it. But that's okay, I don't understand most of PFL's match ideas and they always turn out to be great!

(Return from break) COLE Welcome back to HeldDOWN, where it's time for our main event...made earlier tonight by our World Champion Zack Malibu. Basically, he's giving he's going to give recent returnee Leon Rodez a match to prove himself, whatever that means. COACH That means he gets a match so he can prove what he can do. COLE ...right...thanks Einstein. Anywa... Cole is cut off rather abruptly as "Nothing" by Stabbing Westward hits, to a chorus of boos from the fans. Soon enough, those boos become near deafening as the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion Zack Malibu brushes through the curtains. Immediately, gold sparks shower the champion and create an extravagent scene for the picture hunters. Eventually the sparks dissappear and Malibu slowly walks down the aisle, grinning widely despite still being in some pain from WarGames. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen...this contest is your main event of the evening and is a NON TITLE match, scheduled for one fall. Introducing first at this time, making his way down the aisle. From Los Angeles California and weighing in at a slim, trim one hundred and ninety five pounds... The leader of The Thrillogy. The Franchise of the OAOAST. The two time...and reigning OAOAST WOOOORRLLLDD Heavyweight Champion! This is ZAAAAAAACCKKK MAAAAALLLIBBUUUUUUUUU!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" A wall of boos hit the champ, as he enters the ring and quickly takes the microphone off of Buffer. MALIBU Okay, okay. No... "ZACK SUCKS! ZACK SUCKS! ZACK SUCKS!" MALIBU If you people would pipe down for a minute... "ZACK SUCKS! ZACK SUCKS! ZACK SUCKS!" MALIBU SHUT THE HELL UP! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM!?! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Well, considering the fans are chanting his name, I'd imagine they do. CABOOSE Shut up Cole. MALIBU I've got some important things to get sorted before this match gets underway, so you might as well shut the hell up if you wanna see a main event tonight! Boos ring through the arena again, but quickly die down as the fans want to see some more wrestling. Rather than Zack talking, obviously. MALIBU As you people all know...at The Great Angle Bash, I was a participant in War Games. A willing participant. I didn't have to step into that monstrocity. I'm the OAOAST World Champion. I do what I like. But I got into that hellish structure because I'm a fighter. Right now though, I'm...well, I'm...feeling the effects of War Games. The fans don't seem to care much, even as Zack milks his injuries with a grimace. MALIBU Now, as I say, I'm a fighter. Crystal runs around giving matches to everyone and their mother, trying to act like it's impressive. Crystal...anything you can do, I can do better. Which is why I gave this kid a match tonight. Leon Rodez. A mild cheer goes up for Rodez. MALIBU But, this isn't for my World Championship. I may be a fighter, but I'm not stupid. This kid hasn't earnt a shot. Tonight is his chance. Leon...think of this a a proving ground for you. Now, I'll admit, I'm not 100% right now. About 98...99%. But not 100%. And I have a career to worry about. Which is why I need to lay down some ground rules. COLE Ground rules? MALIBU I don't want to suffer an injury here tonight that could ruin my title reign. Which is why I've assigned a referee for this match who will make sure I am in no danger of serious injury. A referee who can look out for my interests tonight. A referee...who, is pretty damn fine. Ladies and gentlemen...the referee for this match...the lovely... CANDIE!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" The crowd immediately realise what's going on, as Candie steps out wearing a referee's shirt, to applause from Zack. COLE What the hell is this? COACH It's Candie. COLE Candie is the referee...how is that fair? COACH Who cares? It's Candie. Slowly Candie reaches the ring and climbs up the steps, with Zack holding open the ropes for her. Once she's in the ring, Candie shakes Zack's hand mockingly as Malibu raises the mic to his lips again. MALIBU Okay...Leon, before I came out to the ring I made sure to watch some or your match at The Bash. And I must say, I was pretty impressed. I mean...you and Bryte were all over the place. On the ramp, in one ring, in the other ring, out on the floor. That however is a problem for me. See, Candie is only one woman. She can't really control the type of match you had with Bryte now, can she? Which is why on the way to the ring, I found a couple of guys standing around doing nothing, and asked them to help us both out. See...the ringside area is a dangerous place. You know what it's like to get a serious injury. I don't want you or me to go through that. So, to prevent any prolonged brawls on the floor, this match needs a couple of lumberjacs...guys, come on out. Malibu motions to the stage, as again the curtains ripple and out step the 'lumberjacks'... ...and to the surprise of almost no-one, they happen to be Calvin Szechstein and Hoff. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COLE You have to be kidding! It's four on one! CABOOSE Nonsense. Hoff and Calvin are just here to protect Zack's well-being. COLE Yeah. That's the problem! CABOOSE And bless Calvin's heart! What a brave soul! Battered and bruised, he's still out here to help his good friend Zack. I doubt you two cock rockers would do the same for me. The boos continue to rain down on the Thrillogy, as Hoff and Calvin walk down to the ring and position themselves on opposite sides of the ring. Zack meanwhile has a broad smile on his face, nodding down to Hoff and then Calvin... ...as suddenly, "You Sexy Thing" by Hot Chocolate starts up. The boos quickly die down, to be replaced by cheers for Leon Rodez, as he steps out from the back. Zack finally drops into fight-mode and tosses the microphone out of the ring. Rodez meanwhile makes his way down to the ring, while eyeing up the odds that have been stacked against him. BUFFER And the opponent. From Grand Rapids Michigan and weighing one hundred and ninety eight pounds. The New-Age Love Machine! 'Silky Smooth'... LEEEEEEOOOOOONN ROOOOOOODDEEEEZZZ!!! The crowd, specifically the females, cheer once more as Rodez stops at the foot of the ramp. Still looking up at Zack, Rodez removes his blue robe and passes it to a nearby worker. He quickly runs off, as Leon cautiously climbs to the apron and enters the ring. But before he can get to Zack, Candie steps in the way and demands to check him for weapons. She doesn't get too far though, as Rodez brushes past her and asks for a microphone. CABOOSE What's this. Who gave him mic time? COACH Same guy that gave Zack time? CABOOSE Yeah, but Zack is a World Champion. This kid is some jobber who got lucky a couple of times. The mic gets passed up to Rodez eventually, as he turns to Zack who has backed into the opposite corner. RODEZ Before we get this started, I've got a few things to get off my chest. First of all babe...Candie, isn't it? Candie cautiously nods, getting a smile back from Rodez. RODEZ Right. Candie. If you want to check The New-Age Love Machine for weapons, may I suggest that you start below the belt. Now... Rodez is suddenly cut off by cheers from the crowd, as Candie looks shocked and Zack looks incensed. "RODEZ! RODEZ! RODEZ!" RODEZ Now...Zackary, I have to say this is quite impressive. You've really stacked the deck. I've got to ask though Zack...have you got anything else to put against me? Do you want Big Daddy Malibu on commentary, talking about the ins and outs of your potty training? Oh, and by the way...how is that going? "YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" RODEZ Tricky business I know, but you'll get there in the end. Malibu laughs sarcastically, although it's clear he fuming at the insults being thrown his way. RODEZ Or...or better yet, we can have Gramma Malibu working the timekeeper's table. Or should that be 'working the timekeeper'. This time, Malibu has lost it, bursting out from the corner and charging at Rodez. Rodez quickly throws the microphone to the side though, and ducks a right hand from Zack. He stumbles harmlessly into the turnbuckles, before staggering around into a clothesline, which sends him crashing out of the ring! COLE Oh yeah! What a clothesline, and the champ is down! CABOOSE This is horrible! *DING DING DING* Candie remembers that the bell needs to be rung, as Zack pulls himself up on the floor with a little help from Calvin and Hoff. Rodez meanwhile just watches on with a smug grin. "RODEZ! RODEZ! RODEZ!" Angrily Zack shoves his Thrillogy stablemates away and rolls back into the ring, but gets caught with a right hand from Leon. Two more connect and send Zack back into the corner, before the champ swings with one of his own. Rodez blocks though and knees Malibu in the gut, before spinning him around and bouncing the champ's head off of the top turnbuckle once... ...and twice... "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FIVE!" "SIX!" "SEVEN!" "EIGHT!" "NINE!" "TEN!" Zack slumps into the corner, as Rodez turns to Calvin and flashes a smile his way, before doing the same to Hoff. COACH Man, Zack isn't looking too good right now. Not the kinda start you expect from a World Champion. CABOOSE He's just...he...he'll be fine Coachman! Turning back to Zack, Leon pulls him away from the buckles and hits another right. Zack looks dazed, as Rodez irish whips him across the ropes and HARD into the opposite buckles! Staggering out, Malibu walks forward a few steps as Leon looks set to charge in... ...but Zack drops to the mat, and rolls out of the ring! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Rodez goes to follow, but Candie steps in his way. So he backs away and exits the opposite side of the ring...only for Hoff to stand in his path! COLE Now, how can you condone this Caboose? CABOOSE Easily. Rodez is trying to injure Zack by going out to the floor, and Hoff is making sure that doesn't happen. COLE Zack was the one that went to the floor though. CABOOSE And he's entitled to! He's not entitled to get put through our table though, is he!?! Frustratedly, Rodez rolls back into the ring as meanwhile Calvin tends to Zack. In the ring, Candie sees Zack isn't ready to get back into action, and stalls Rodez by asking him about a pull of the hair that obviously never occured. In this time Zack has recovered and rolled into the ring. Rodez sees him and brushes past Candie, taking Zack by the arm and irish whipping him towards the corner again. This time though, as Zack hits the buckles his moment keeps him carrying on, up and over the top rope to the floor to a pop from the crowd! COACH Zack can't get any momentum going here... CABOOSE I told you, he'll be fine! As Malibu hits the floor, Candie cries out in worry and Hoff quickly runs over to check on his fallen 'leader'. Rodez meanwhile chuckles slightly, and holds his hands up into the air. Luckily for The Thrillogy, Zack is ok. Or, relatively. Quickly he gets back to his feet but almost falls right back down, and would have done had Hoff not been beside him. But despite being dis-orientated, Zack staggers to the apron and rolls back into the ring. Again Rodez meets him, locking on a quick side headlock. Zack hits a couple of forearms, but Rodez re-tightens the hold. So Zack changes tactic, and tries to push Rodez off. Leon hangs onto the headlock however, dragging Zack across the ring with him and eventually taking him down with an almost running side headlock takedown! "ZACK SUCKS! ZACK SUCKS! ZACK SUCKS!" The crowd are all over the champion, as Rodez wrenches away with the headlock. Candie half-heartedly checks if Zack wants to give up, and ends up on the recieving end of Zack's frustration with a loud "NO!" COLE I think maybe the champion under-estimated Rodez. So far, it's been all the 'rookie'. CABOOSE The match has only been going two or three minutes, and you two are acting as if it's all over already! Zack is the champion for a reason. COLE Which one? Candie. Hoff. Calvin. CABOOSE No! Because he's a superior athlete! And Leon Rodez is fixing to find that out. Leon continues to pull back with the headlock, until Zack tips his weight and takes Rodez over into a pinning combination... ONE! T... Only a one count, as Rodez tips back with the headlock intact. Quickly Zack starts to try and climb to his feet...but as he gets to his knees, Rodez takes him back over in the headlock and presses his shoulders to the mat. Candie just happens to be out of position though, as is slow in making her count... ONE! T... And gets only a one count again, before Zack shoots a shoulder up. Rodez looks a little peeved and releases the headlock, immediatly popping Zack in the skull with a back elbow. That leaves Zack down, as Rodez gets back up and takes his time about dropping a knee to Zack's forehead. Now, Calvin and Hoff both look a little worried, as Rodez pulls Zack back up. But as he does, Zack suddenly finds some energy and hits a knee to the gut. CABOOSE HA! Whadid I tell ya! Quickly Zack spins Rodez around and attempts an irish whip. Rodez reverses it though and pulls Zack forward, into a BIG time inverted atomic drop! COACH Whadid you tell us? CABOOSE Shut up. Zack hops on the spot with a grimace, as Rodez lines up the World Champion and nails a spinning heel kick...landing on top of Malibu for another cover and another slow reaction from Candie... ONE! TWO! Kickout! This time, Rodez questions the count with Candie. Meanwhile, Malibu pulls himself back up and stumbles into the ropes, coming back for a clothesline... ...which Rodez ducks! Malibu carries on running to the opposite ropes and looks for another clothesline, but Leon ducks for a second time. Still Zack continues running though determined not to give up. As Zack comes back, Rodez suddenly leaps into the air and nails a beautiful standing dropkick to a pop from the crowd. COLE Great athletisism from Rodez! What height and extension! Rolling to his knees, Rodez poses for the crowd and infuriates Hoff and Calvin in the process. Zack meanwhile looks to head for higher ground, but Leon sees him and catches the champion. Quickly Zack does the first thing that comes to mind and swings with a back elbow. But Rodez ducks, and allows Zack to swing harmlessly around 360 degrees, before hooking him for a back suplex... ...which Malibu flips out of at the apex of the move! Confused, Rodez turns around... *SLAP!* "WHOOOO!!" Zack nails a knifedge chop. *SLAP!* "WHOOOO!!" But Rodez hits one right back! COACH Here we go! *SLAP!* "WHOOOO!!" Zack nails a second knifedge chop. *SLAP!* "WHOOOO!!" And Rodez nails a second of his own. Zack realises where this is going though, and jabs Rodez in the eye. Candie, quite unsurprisingly, doesn't see this and that allows Zack to line Rodez up for a roundhouse kick to the back of the head. Rodez senses it coming though and ducks, causing Malibu to swing wildly and miss. Slowly he turns back around, as Rodez dives forward and hits a flying lariat! "YEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" The crowd pop once more, as Rodez gets straight back up and FIRES UP~! Zack drags himself up quickly too and walks over to Rodez. Silky Smooth lands a stiff forearm strike though, rocking the champion. COLE This match has broken down into a slugfest early on...and it's Rodez who's winning it! A second forearm strike drops Zack to one knee, giving Leon chance to hit a basement dropkick, connecting with the jaw of Malibu and sending a *SMACK* echoing through the arena! Zack goes rolling across the ring and ends up underneath the ropes, before Calvin helps Malibu out and pulls him to the floor for a breather. But this time, Leon is one step ahead and rolls out of the ring before anyone can stop him. Calvin steps in Rodez's way still, but this time Rodez pushes Calvin away...picking Malibu up and sending him into the ring and rolling in himself, before Szechstein can retaliate. CABOOSE What's that all about? Condone that Cole. COLE Calvin got in Rodez's way, so Rodez pushed him out of the way. COACH ...Touche~! Once back in, Rodez turns back to Calvin and shouts something down before turning to Zack. He happens to be back up however and in mid-Roaring Elbow. As Malibu brings his elbow around though, Rodez manages to duck which causes Zack to get caught up in the ropes. Rodez offloads with a series of punches before Zack can recover, until Candie moves in and tries her best to move Leon away. Once Rodez realises what's going on he doesn't put up much of a fight, allowing Candie to move him back...looking suspiciously happy at the physicality that's happening. Eventually Candie has moved Leon back far enough, and starts to shout the odds to him... ...but Leon simply walks past her as if she wasn't there, getting a laugh from the crowd. Zack tries to move straight forward towards Rodez, but Leon is a step ahead with a boot to the gut and an snap suplex! Floating over, Rodez makes another cover... ONE! TWO! Kickout. COLE Another slow count from Candie. CABOOSE It looked fine to me. Perfectly acceptable refereeing. Rodez doesn't concern himself with the count and pulls Zack back up. A quick scoop and a slam puts Zack in position for some aerial SKILLZ~!, as Rodez begins to climb to the top rope. But before he can get very far, Hoff grabs him by the ankle and stops him! Angrily Rodez turns around and kicks out at Hoff before diving off the apron... *OOOF!* ...but Hoff catches Rodez, and rams him back first into the ringpost! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Rodez collapses to the floor, as Candie turns away from Calvin, who she had conveniently been chatting away to while Hoff was doing his dirty work. COLE That's why The Thrillogy are here. Everyone knows it. CABOOSE That was self defence. Hoff waits for a moment before pulling Rodez up, rolling him into the ring for Zack. Finally, the World Champion looks in control as he reaches down and pulls Rodez up by the hair. A hard slap rocks Rodez, and is followed up quickly by a second. A boot doubles over Rodez, as Zack quickly double underhooks both of Rodez's arms and hits a textbook butterfly suplex. But rather than let Rodez go, Zack hangs onto the arms of The New-Age Love Machine, twists through and pulls Leon back up. CABOOSE Beautiful technique from the champ. With the arms still hooked, Zack hoists Leon up...this time leaving him hanging upside down for a moment, before snapping Silky Smooth violently down on the back of his head! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH!!!" COACH Tiger Driver '91! CABOOSE That's why he's the World Champion guys! Right there! What a move...I've never seen Crystal do anything like that. Rodez remains folded up with his body weight left propped on his neck. Zack meanwhile takes a moment to soak up the applause from his Thrillogy team-mates, before cooly walking towards the corner. Finally Leon falls back onto his front, near enough out-cold. But Zack is clearly not done yet, as he holds his hand high in the air... *STOMP!* ...and starts a-stomping. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" CABOOSE Here we go! *STOMP!* *STOMP!* Zack suddenly stops stomping, as Rodez isn't getting up. Obviously, Zack could just go for the pin. But instead, he wants to finish the match his way and tells Candie something. Candie looks a little confused, but Zack tells her again...so Candie jogs over to Rodez, and struggles to pull him to his feet. COACH Okay...I haven't read the referee's manual recently, but...that's not in the rules, is it? COLE Of course it isn't! COACH Right...just checking. Slowly Candie gets Rodez to his feet, or thereabouts... *STOMP!* ...as Zack starts to set-up again. *STOMP!* COACH Anyone else have a bad feeling about this? *STOMP!* COACH I mean...this never works... *STOMP!* COACH The guy always ducks... *STOMP!* COACH It's practically tradition... ... *SMACK!* Malibu connects with School's Out, with Candie getting out of the way of the falling Rodez just in time. Trouble is, the force of the kick sends Rodez crashing through the ropes and out to the floor! COLE School's Out for Rodez...but, it won't matter when Rodez is on the floor. Hoff, Calvin, Candie and Zack collectively look down at Rodez from their respective positions, as he's not moving a muscle. "Count him out..." Suddenly, Zack speaks up and tells Candie to do her job. And, obviously, she does... "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" Rodez starts to stir, as Malibu curses. "Faster Candie. COUNT FASTER!" "FOUR!" "FIVE!" "SIX!" Rodez hears the count and despite the many bells ringing in his head, he pulls himself up on the apron... "SEVEN!" "EIGHT!" ...and rolls into the ring, to a cheer from the crowd! COLE Rodez isn't going to give up. Four on one or not, this kid has guts! CABOOSE He can all the guts in the world...he's not going to beat Zack Malibu. Having rolled in, Leon may have used up his last reserve of energy. Zack grabs him by the hair and drags him up, with a quick push into the corner. Following in, Zack nails a clothesline which crushes The New-Age Love Machine into the turnbuckles. The groggy Rodez staggers out, into Zack's waiting arms and a knee to the breadbasket. With Leon doubled over, Zack takes a moment before hooking Leon up ready for the POP Drop... ...but Leon manages to counter, and take Zack down with a small package... ONE! TWO! ... T... ZACK KICKS OUT! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Candie breathes a sigh of relief, as Rodez weakly slams his fist into the mat in frustration. COLE Now that was definately a slow-count! CABOOSE Seemed fine to me. Funny how it's always you who's complaining about the count. Are you sure your monitor isn't slow? COLE My monitor is FINE! CABOOSE Must be you then... Zack pulls himself up, reaching his feet before Rodez and slamming him with a kick. Rodez continues to get up though, so Zack backs up and winds up...twisting 360 degrees and coming around with a Roaring Elbow. But again Rodez is able to read the move and counter, this time with a quick back suplex! "YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Again The Thrillogy look shocked, as Rodez gallantly drags himself up. His neck is still clearly bothering him though, and limiting his movement. Zack therefore has chance to get back up, and get in the next shot with a kick to the gut. Quickly Zack locks on a front facelock, but Rodez is able to spin out the back and hit a succession a clubbing blows to the back of the Zack. They have little effect on the Champ though, who shrugs them off and spins around, finally connecting with the Roaring Elbow! Rodez's neck snaps back, as Malibu drops into the pinfall... ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! "YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Zack can't believe it, but quickly makes another cover... "FASTER CANDIE!" ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! COLE Even with a fast counting referee, Leon Rodez isn't giving up. CABOOSE Yeah, but it's a matter of time. Zack hasn't brought out the big moves yet. This time, Zack really can't believe it...nearly shouting at Candie, but controlling his temper somehow. Grabbing Leon by the hair, he drags him up and gives The New-Age Love Machine a sharp slap. Leon takes it and tries to shake it off...but a knee to the gut knocks the wind out of him. Another slap connects from Zack before he sends Rodez off the ropes. Rebounding, Rodez weakily raises his arm in some sort of clothesline attempt, but Zack easily takes him over with a powerslam and covers... ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! "YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Zack gets quickly back up and looks down at Rodez...and laughs, for some reason. The laugh continues, as Leon slowly pulls himself back to his feet. Zack promptly moves in and nails a stiff front elbow strike and a left hook to the ribs...before grabbing Leon by the head, and dropping him with a cold, sharp DDT! COACH Zack's got his groove going now... CABOOSE See. Never doubt the 'Boose. This time though, instead of going for the cover, Zack turns to the legs of Rodez and flips him over onto his front. Taking the legs, Malibu arches up Rodez's legs and crosses them over, with the crowd instantly knowing what's up. COLE What the... CABOOSE He's going for the Crystalling! Talk about sending a message! Zack gets halfway through the move and prepares to arch back into the move... ...but Rodez kicks his legs free, and takes Zack over with a modified hurricanrana! Zack gets back up in a combined state of confusion and grogginess. Rodez meanwhile gets back up too, and charges at Zack with a shining wizard to the standing Malibu! Down goes Zack, and Rodez makes a cover... ONE! COLE Count damn it! TWO! COLE COUNT! CALVIN PULLS RODEZ'S LEG! COLE Oh, for crying out...this is ridiculous! Rodez turns to see what the hell just happened, realising that Szechstein was responsible and yelling down at him. Meanwhile, Candie is helping Zack back to his feet and checking that he's alright. Once he is, he brushes her off and pounces on Rodez, nailing him from behind with a forearm! Rodez hits the ropes and staggers out, taking a boot to the gut and being hoisted into the air, fisherman's buster style... ...and DOWN with the POP Drop! CABOOSE That's it! Ring the bell and let's get this party started! COACH You been watching Cat In The Hat again? CABOOSE ...no. Zack cockily mugs for a nearby camera, before dropping and arm over Rodez... ONE! TWO! TH.. ZACK PULLS LEON UP! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COLE Oh...what...now, why would he do that!?! CABOOSE Our World Champion obviously has something else in mind. COLE He had the match won Caboose! CABOOSE And? He's the World Champion. His matches can go on for as long as he wants. Still grinning, Zack drags Rodez to his feet with a couple of playful slaps for good measure, before taking him into fisherman's position again. "CRYSTAL! CRYSTAL! CRYSTAL!" Zack hears the chants and chuckles, as he lifts Rodez into the air and brings his swiftly back down... ...with a SITOUT POP DROP!!! "OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" COLE Falling Star Driver!!! My god what a sickening move! CABOOSE Ring the bell! Ring the ambulance! Ring 'em all, because this one is over! ONE! TWO! THREE! *DING DING DING!* Candie doesn't even need to speed up her count, as the result is academic. Still grinning, Zack rolls off of the cover and holds his hands in the air to boos aplenty from the fans. BUFFER Your winner of the match. The OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion... ZAAAACK MAAALLLLIIIBUUUUUU!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" In roll Calvin, Hoff and with them the OAOAST World Championship belt...draped over the Champ's shoulder as Candie raises his arm in the air triumphantly. As "Nothing" comes up, Malibu breaks away from his girlfriend and partners, choosing instead to drag Rodez up off the mat by his arms, pulling him to his feet. COLE What's he doing now? CABOOSE Helping the man up. It's called sportsmanship, Cole. COLE Ha! Malibu doesn't know the meaning of the word! Zack helps Rodez up, rubbing his head and looking him in the face, saying "you did good!" in a sarcastic baby-voice. Rodez's eyes are glazed over, and he can't even tell where he is, let alone who's talking to him. Malibu continues to taunt him, then takes him by the back of the head and shoves him into Hoff, who extends his arm and hooks the rookie, lifting him off his feet and dropping him down with his version of the Rock Bottom! COLE See! I knew this was gonna happen! CABOOSE Then you should be working for Ms. Cleo, not us. The fans boo loudly, as Malibu falls to all fours, taunting Leon by yelling that he's "nobody" and asking him the age-old question "do you know who I am?" Rodez is out, unable to answer, and The Thrillogy continue to demean the fallen rookie, until... "Set It Off" blares over the speaker system, drawing a pop out of the crowd like you wouldn't believe! COACH Michael, I hope you didn't see this comin', otherwise I'd beat yo ass for holding out on a brotha! COLE Uh...what!? Crystal comes charging down the aisle, and Malibu quickly bails out of the ring, helped to the floor by Calvin and Candie. Crystal gets up on the apron, and Hoff just stares her down, blocking her from coming to the aid of Leon Rodez. Crystal looks him square in the eye, not intimidated in the slightest, until a voice comes over the microphone. MALIBU Hoff, don't! Get over here! Get out of the ring now! Malibu calls off the big man, much to the shock of both the announcers and the crowd. Hoff turns to Zack, then back to Crystal, and backsteps before ducking through the ropes and rejoining his stable at ringside. Crystal comes into the ring and checks on Rodez, shooting dirty looks towards The Thrillogy as well. MALIBU Crystal, I'll have you know that I just saved your life. You and I both know that I could have just had your career cut short like *that*, but I couldn't allow it. You see, I'm saving you for myself. It's going to be so nice walking out of the pay per view not with another victory, not with the belt still intact around my waist...but with you still laying in the ring with a broken neck! Crystal stands up, as OAOAST staff have come out to tend to Leon Rodez. Crystal walks across the ring to the ropes nearest Zack, and trembles, ready to explode on her rival. MALIBU Chrissy, Chrissy, Chrissy...it's so obvious I'm under your skin. Looks like someone has finally broken through that wall that you put up. You can call yourself a Female Phenom all you want, but in reality, you're nothing more than a worthless bit... Though we know what he was going to say, Zack isn't able to finish, as Crystal launches herself over the ropes and onto him! Calvin and Hoff are quick on the scene, pulling Crystal up as she's hammering on Zack, but in her rage she sends Calvin flying with a haymaker! Crystal turns around and stands face to chest with Hoff, but before he can act the OAOAST Staff members run around the ring, looking to break up the fight. Hoff is held back, trying to make his way through all of them, while Crystal turns back to Zack, who's primed and ready to clock her with a BELTSHOT~!...BUT CRYSTAL DUCKS...LOW KICK ON ZACK~! Malibu staggers around, grabbing himself, and Crystal swipes the belt out of his hands and steps back, then CRACKS Zack across the forehead with his own championship belt! Crystal stands over Zack, and turns around, scaring Candie away from coming any closer, while Hoff struggles with the staff and Calvin struggles to his feet. Still clutching the World Title, Crystal rolls into the ring, raising the belt up high! CABOOSE That doesn't belong to her! COACHNot yet! COLE I'll second that notion, Coach. COACH Uh...huh? "Set It Off" plays again, as Crystal takes the World Title and throws it down at Zack, who's being helped up by Candie and Hoff. The Thrillogy also collect Calvin and start to make their way to the ramp, none too happy with what Crystal has just done. CABOOSE That little girl has signed her death warrant, boys. Crystal walks over to a groggy Rodez, who's being tended to in the corner of the ring, making sure that he's gonna be OK. Rodez slightly nods his head yes, visibly worn from the Thrillogy onslaught of this past evening. Crystal helps him to his feet and raises his arm up, drawing applause from the fans. CABOOSE What the...he didn't win anything? COLE Oh I think he did, Caboose. I think he won the respect of this crowd here tonight. CABOOSE Pfffft...like THAT is gonna pay his rent. Despite Caboose's protests, the fans continue to cheer for both Crystal and Rodez and their respective courageous showings tonight. Crystal and the OAOAST staff help Leon out of the ring, and they all start their way up the ramp, with a close up of Crystal and Rodez walking in the front of the pack, as we... *Fade To Black*

OAOAST HeldDOWN~! NEW HD~! theme song “I Like” by Katy Rose plays and we’re treated to an updated opening video prominently featuring the physical and sexual conquests of world champion Zack Malibu. Anyway, the video ends and we see the logo: HOORAY! The show starts up on a shot of an empty locker room, save for two bodies -- Calvin Szechstein, and Drek Stone. The arena, full to the brim, boos both men, not liking either one much -- Calvin is part of the most reviled stable in OAOAST history, the Thrillogy, and Drek Stone is fresh off of bashing Mad Cappa's face in with a sledgehammer. So seeing these two men in a room together... something must not be right. "Listen, Drek, I'd like to thank you for this opportunity tonight," Calvin says, a confident smile on his face. "It's going to be nice to bring some more gold to the Thrillogy, and it couldn't come at the hands of a better competitor." "Calvin," Drek says, "I respect you as a competitor and all, but you're sorely mistaken if you think that you're going to get a victory at my expense." "Okay, Drek," Calvin says, getting up and still smiling. "Now, as for tonight's match. I understand you don't have three guys backing you up, and I suppose I'll try and keep them out of the way, but if things start getting hectic..." "What, Calvin, if you get hit with a suplex Zack and Hoff are going to come out and lay a beatdown on me?" Calvin's head snaps around, the smile gone. "No, actually. I'm a competitor... well, second, I'm an entertainer first, but cheater comes third and I don't plan on doing any of that tonight." "So you don't plan on it," Drek says, voice dripping with sarcasm. "Well, that's good, because I don't 'plan' on winning tonight, but I'm going to." "Wait... are you insinuating I can't win without the Thrillogy interfering?" "No, Calvin, I'm flat-out stating that you can't win without the Thrillogy interfering." Calvin stops in his tracks. Drek is presenting an entirely new perspective -- someone who doesn't respect what he's done, someone who doesn't see him as untouchable anymore. Has he really fallen that far from glory? "All right, Drek. I'll call my boys off, and me and you will see if I can win without the Thrillogy interfering." The smile comes back to Calvin's face. "And when I do... well, you're not going to be doubting me anymore." Calvin exits, and Drek stares off after him. "He couldn't even beat Axel... there's no way in hell he's going to beat me." Drek hefts his Italian championship onto his shoulder, exiting the room...

(Return from break) COLE Folks, we are just moments away from tonight’s Italian Championship match. Drek Stone will be attempting to defend his newly created title against an athlete who many consider to be among the most technically-gifted superstars in the world today, Calvin Szechstein. CABOOSE I don’t like this. I’m feeling very conflicted over who to cheer for. COACH Earlier tonight, these two men had a short, sit-down interview together that quickly turned hostile. Drek doesn’t seem to respect the ability of Calvin, and it looks as if he honestly feels that Calvin doesn’t have a chance without Thrillogy by his side. CABOOSE I mean…..Calvin is part of the greatest stable ever known to the OAOAST……a former OAOAST Heavyweight Champion, he has everything I’ve ever respected in a man…. COLE It seems that Calvin really has something to prove to these fans, the wrestlers in the back, his Thrillogy buddies, and most importantly, himself. Just a few months ago, he was the Heavyweight Champion of the world. Now, he has someone like Drek Stone – somebody who has quickly risen up the ranks of the OAOAST in the past few months – devaluing the credentials that Calvin has strived to build up in his career. CABOOSE …….but Drek is really such an amazing athlete. And after the torture he unleashed on the Mad Cappa at School’s Out……honestly, how can I not cheer for him?! Oh God, why does everything bad always happen to me?! COLE For both these men, tonight is about proving who the better technical athlete in this federation actually is. Let’s get down to the ring for what is sure to be a thrilling scientific matchup. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, this match is scheduled for one fall to a finish, and it is for the OAOAST ITALIAN CHAMPIONSHIP!! Coming down to the ring first is the challenger. He is a member of the most dominant stable in professional wrestling today with The Thrillogy. He is also a former OAOAST Heavyweight Champion of the WORLD! Now residing in Los Angeles, California, weighing in at 197 pounds…..please welcome CAAALLLLLVIIIIIIIIN SZEEEEEECHSTEEEIN! “Three-Two-One. I’M THE BOMB!” ::Electric Six blasts over the loudspeakers as Calvin steps out of the entranceway to a passionate reaction of boos from the HeldDown crowd. Making his way to the ring, Calvin takes the time to argue with a group of fans at ringside, one of which is holding a large “Calvin Sucks!” sign.:: Woke Up This Morning Got Yourself A Gun Mama Always Said You’d Be The Chosen One BUFFER And now, the champion. He is the self-proclaimed “World’s Greatest Athlete” and “The Best Looking Man to ever step into an OAOAST ring!” Hailing from Brooklyn, New York….weighing in at 220 pounds….he is the current OAOAST ITALIAN CHAMPION OF THE WORLLLLLD! Ladies and gentlemen…..please welcome….DRRRRRREK STONNNNNNNE! ::Drek Stone struts out of the entranceway, also meeting a loud chorus of jeers. Standing at the top of the ramp with a wide grin on his face, he casually starts to shine the Italian Title around his waist with his hand. He finally starts to slowly walk down the ramp, ignoring the negative comments the fans have began to scream at him. Once he gets in the ring, he casually pounds his chest, and an impressive blast of fireworks erupts from the four corners of the ring. He casually hands the title over to the referee and gives a long stare to Calvin, who hasn’t taken his eyes off of Drek:: COLE While both of these men respect the ability of the other, it’s easy to see that they don’t actually like the other. CABOOSE You know what would be nice to see here…..? A handshake. Then they could walk out of the ring, having been better men for staying civil in a time when conflicts are breaking out around us. COACH Any particular love song you want to play as they stroll out of the ring? CABOOSE ….you know, that’s such a disgustingly childish joke, Coach. Get a clue and stay away from those. There’s a reason I never resort to that level of immaturity. Once the bell rings, both Drek and Calvin start to slowly circle each other, gradually surveying the chance to seize an opportunity. After a few seconds, Drek suddenly darts at Calvin, but is quickly brought down with a rapid-fire drop toe hold. Calvin immediately jumps to Drek’s head, and entraps him in a side headlock. Drek uses his strength to turn his body over, putting both of Calvin’s shoulders down. 1…. 2…. Calvin rolls his body back around, trapping Drek on the ground again with a side headlock. This time, Drek begins to rise up. Once he manages to get on his feet, he quickly hurls Calvin towards the ropes. After Calvin bounces back, both men hit each other with a shoulderblock, but neither man staggers. This time, it’s Drek that runs into the ropes. He bounces back, and again, both men collide with simultaneous shoulderblocks. But again, neither man moves. COLE And just like we expected, both men are starting out slowly, trying to feel each other out. Drek and Calvin stare at each other for a second, then run towards opposite ropes. However, Drek stops his sprint almost instantly, and waits in position for Calvin to return. Calvin, with somewhat of a surprised look on his face, bounces back towards a still Drek. Drek hooks Calvin’s arm and flips him over for a hiptoss…….but Calvin lands on his feet, and brings Drek over with a hiptoss of his own. COACH That was a respectable strategy by Drek… CABOOSE Of course it was! COACH But a quite impressive reversal from Calvin. CABOOSE Well, are you surprised? COLE Caboose, who are you rooting for anyway? CABOOSE The hell if I know! Drek immediately bounces back up on his feet, and this time, Calvin brings him down with an armdrag. After the armdrag, Calvin twists Drek’s arm above his head, then easily manipulates the hold into a front facelock. Although Drek is still trapped in the facelock, both men are able to stand up. Suddenly, Calvin begins to violently yank Drek around the ring by his neck, still keeping the front facelock intact. Drek then falls to one knee, with the referee annoyingly asking him if he wishes to submit yet. With a burst of energy, Drek runs Calvin into the turnbuckle, and Calvin lets go of the hold. With his face beet-red after the lack of oxygen, Drek suddenly gives Calvin a hard slap across the face. COACH Uh-oh! COLE If there’s one thing Calvin doesn’t take kindly to, it’s disrespectful slaps like that. CABOOSE Well…..I’m sure Drek had a reason. Both these men are just so intense, so talented in their own ways…..it’s excusable if the match gets personal like that. COACH I doubt you’d be saying that if it was someone like Crystal slapping Zack Malibu. CABOOSE Well, that’s almost treason! This is understandable! Not hard to grasp, Coach… Drek quickly backs away from the turnbuckle, but Calvin charges at him anyway. However, this time, Drek drops Calvin with a drop toe hold, but keeps his legs locked around Calvin’s ankle after both men fall. Calvin quickly rolls over onto his back, but Drek spins onto his feet with a ground backwards somersault. He grabs Calvin’s right leg, then quickly falls, locking it into a grapevine. Calvin shoots out his hand and grabs the bottom rope nearby. The referee starts to count, but Drek is reluctant to release the hold. 1…. 2….. 3….. 4….. Finally, Drek lets go of the grapevine, but quickly stands up and pulls Calvin away from the ropes by his right leg. Drek speedily twists his body around Szechstein’s right leg, then falls to the mat, putting it in another grapevine. Calvin, yelling, strains to reach the ropes but can’t quite make it. Drek, seizing this opportunity the best way he can, starts leveling in some vicious forearm shots to the right knee of Calvin while he’s still in the move. Drek releases the hold and swiftly rises back to his feet. COLE Drek seemed to know that Calvin wouldn’t submit from a simple grapevine. CABOOSE But what a grapevine it was! Drek is certainly proving his technical skill tonight! He jumps up……and drops a hard knee across the right knee of Calvin Szechstein! Rolling along with the move in shades of Ric Flair, Drek gets back up to his knees and……..drops another hard knee across Calvin’s right leg. With Calvin yelling in pain, it’s obvious to everyone that Drek may have wound a weakness in this man. Drek grabs the right knee of Calvin and spins his body around it once again…..but this time, Calvin uses his free left leg to push Drek towards the turnbuckle. Drek flies into the turnbuckle chest-first and bounces back, with Calvin quickly rolling him up in a schoolboy. 1…. 2….. Drek quickly rolls out of the move, and both men suddenly rise up to their feet. CABOOSE And what a small package! COACH Heh heh. CABOOSE Cole, it might be easier for all of us if we replaced Coach with a nine-year-old. We need more maturity around here. COLE I don’t know about that…. CABOOSE And we can replace you with a cactus. Best announcing team ever. It’s easy to see that Calvin is favoring his right knee, so Drek suddenly lunges for the leg. But Calvin quickly steps over to the side, and Drek winds up falling to his hands and knees. Almost intuitively, Calvin drives a vicious elbow into the back of Drek’s neck! Drek falls onto his chest as Calvin quickly rises back up to his feet and rops another elbow across Drek’s neck. He then takes his left knee and jams it into the back of Drek’s throat. A noticeable percentage of the fans actually start cheering as Calvin pulls back on Drek’s head, brutally wrapping Stone’s neck around Calvin’s left knee. The referee begins to count for Calvin to release the hold. 1…. 2…. 3…. Calvin quickly releases the hold and rolls to the outside of the ring. COLE And Calvin Szechstein, on one leg, has started to violently go for Drek Stone’s neck, trying to expose a weakness of his own. CABOOSE Well, come on, Calvin…..you could take it a little easy, here….. He spins Drek onto his back and pulls him towards the ring ropes, leaving him at the point where Drek’s head is hanging over the ring apron and the rest of his body is in the ring. Calvin gives a cocky kiss to his elbow, then roughly drops it across the throat of Drek Stone. Drek instinctively grabs his neck in pain, but Calvin just swats his hands away. He moves back again, and drops yet another elbow across the throat of Drek. Calvin suddenly gets a smile on his face, and climbs onto the ring apron. He begins to hobble up the corner post, still favoring his knee, as Drek continues to hold onto his neck. After climbing to the second turnbuckle, Calvin stares down at Drek for a second and jumps off…..landing on the outside of the ring, but dropping a HARD elbow across the neckline of Drek Stone! However, after hitting the move, Calvin buckled on his right knee on the arena floor, so he rolls onto his back to massage it for a few seconds. COACH Wow! Those kinds of moves could permanently damage the windpipe of Drek Stone! CABOOSE Come on, Calvin. What are you doing? Don’t take Drek’s voice away from me! COLE But Calvin’s knee buckled after hitting the arena floor. His knee is in bad shape at this point. CABOOSE Come on, Drek. Don’t take Calvin’s walking ability away from me. Take it easy! Drek angrily rolls his entire body into the ring, clutching at his neck and pounding his legs against the mat. Calvin rises to his feet and rolls into the ring, where Drek is still laying down on the mat in pain. Calvin grabs a fistful of Drek’s hair and begins to pull him up into a standing position. He stands behind him and lifts him up for a belly-to-back suplex…….but Drek quickly backflips out of the move and lands on his feet. He then gives a vicious kick to the back of Calvin’s right leg! Both men crumple down to the mat nursing their respective injuries. COACH And now it’s easy to see that both men are in different types of trouble. COLE It’s going to become a matter of who can best take advantage of the other’s weakness first. After a short while of lying on the ground, Drek and Calvin slowly start to rise onto their feet. But Drek is up first and, seeing that Calvin has almost managed to get back to a standing position as well, quickly runs over and knocks him down with a nasty chop block to the right knee! After the move, Drek rubs at the back of his neck for a few short seconds to soothe the pain, which allows time for Calvin to try to make it back up. But again, Drek runs across the ring and brings him down with yet another chop block to the knee! Calvin falls to the mat, holding his right knee, but Drek has absolutely no sympathy. He starts leveling in some fierce stomps to the right knee of Calvin, with Calvin loudly yelling after nearly every kick. Drek quickly runs into the ropes and, after bouncing back, jumps and lands with a senton onto the knee of Calvin Szechstein. He instantly rolls onto Calvin’s chest and hooks both of his legs. 1…… 2……. Calvin uses his upper body to throw Drek off of his chest. Calvin immediately tries to will himself to get back to his feet, but Drek runs into the ropes and comes off with a baseball slide to the right knee of Calvin. Again, Szechstein falls back down to the mat. COLE And Drek Stone has started to systematically take apart Calvin’s right knee. CABOOSE Well, Cole, you wanted a technical contest. Here you go. Both of these men are showing you the finer points of scientific wrestling tonight. This time, Drek grabs Calvin by his leg and pulls him over to the ring ropes. He grabs Calvin’s right leg and props it on the top rope, with the rest of Calvin’s body still laying on the mat. Drek steps out onto the apron and gets a firm grasp of Calvin’s right leg. Pounding his chest for the fans, and receiving a loud series of boos in return, he jumps to the arena floor…..dropping Calvin’s right leg across the top rope with it! Calvin screams in pain after the move, grabbing his leg and quickly pulling it back down to the mat. COLE What a move! CABOOSE Drek, if you’re not careful, you can cause some permanent damage. Try to be careful for Thrillogy’s sake! COACHRight, Boose. I’m sure the well-being of Thrillogy is the first thing on Drek’s mind at this point. But Drek isn’t done. From the outside of the ring, he grabs Calvin by his right leg and pulls him over to the corner post, with both of Szechstein’s legs around different sides of the turnbuckle. He spins his body around Calvin, jumps up….. AND LOCKS HIM INTO THE CORNER POST FIGURE-FOUR LEGLOCK!! CABOOSE Whoa! Drek, what are you doing?! Calvin roars in anguish, wildly reaching for any ropes to grab onto, as the referee screams for Drek to release the hold right away. Calvin’s eyes open wider as Drek continues to reel back on the hold, adding even more pressure to the right knee of Calvin. Finally, after a four count, Drek lets go off the hold, yet continues to hold onto Szechstein’s right knee. Drek moves back onto his knee with Calvin’s leg in his hand, then pulls back and wrenches Calvin’s right knee across the turnbuckle post! Without delay, Drek grabs Calvin’s right leg once again and quickly wraps it across the corner post! CABOOSE I would love the intensity if it was anybody else Drek was against. But he and Calvin are both such incredible athletes. They would be so much happier if they shook hands right now. COACH Well, Calvin wouldn’t be any happier, since he wouldn’t have the Italian title around his waist. And Drek wouldn’t be any happier, since he would wind up having proven nothing tonight. So…..who exactly WOULD be happy? CABOOSE I would. Happy now? After the move, Calvin speedily tucks his leg into the ring and rolls away from the turnbuckle. Drek, with an absolute look of conceit on his face, smiles at the squirming Calvin Szechstein. He begins to scale up the corner post, while Calvin tries to steady himself back onto his feet. Once Drek gets up on the top turnbuckle, he waits for Calvin for to face him. Calvin turns around…..and Drek catches him with a high crossbody off the top rope! BUT CALVIN ROLLS ALONG WITH THE MOVE, WRAPPING DREK UP IN A PINNING POSITION! ONE….. TWO….. KICKOUT! Both men pop out of the move and stand back up, although Calvin is the slower of the two. Drek immediately runs towards Calvin, but Calvin jumps off his strong left leg and brings Drek down with a STIFF CLOTHESLINE! The majority of the fans give a solid cheer as Drek falls back down to the mat. COLE And surprisingly, these fans seem to be getting behind Calvin tonight. CABOOSE Of course. They respect everything he’s ever done in his career…. COLE …..well, I wouldn’t go that far…. CABOOSE …..and I’m sure Drek will receive the same type of support later on. Just you wait and see. The move seems to have retriggered the sore neck Calvin gave Drek earlier! Drek gets on one knee, slowly massaging his throat, as Calvin hobbles over to the corner. Using his left leg, Calvin manages to sit himself on the top turnbuckle, keeping his feet on the middle turnbuckle. Drek, with a look of anger in his eyes, stomps over to Calvin and gives him a hard shot to the midsection. Calvin, doubled over in pain, leaves himself open for Drek to turn his back to Calvin and grab him under his armpits. Drek looks ready to jump off with the Diamond Dust……but Calvin swats his arms away. He then locks his right arm over Drek’s neck AND TRAPS HIM IN A DRAGON SLEEPER! Drek starts flailing his arms to get out of the move, and manages to wrap his arms around Calvin’s head. He pulls Calvin off of the turnbuckle and lands to the mat…..but Calvin keeps the dragon sleeper locked on!! Drek begins to thrash his arms around again, trying to get out if it, but Calvin only pulls back on the move even tighter! COLE And Drek Stone is in some SERIOUS TROUBLE!! Could he tap out here?! CABOOSEI…..I…….I don’t know. COACH Drek is starting to get a little weaker! Drek’s arms begin to flail a little less excitedly, and it’s easy to see that the energy is ever-so-surely being sapped from him. Finally, Drek’s arms slowly fall to his side, but Calvin continues to keep the dragon sleeper locked in. The referee advances towards Drek’s right arm and lifts it one time… ….. COLE DREK IS FADING!! …..and the arm drops! The referee lifts the arm up a second time…. ….. …… …….and it drops. Finally, the referee lifts Drek’s arm up a third time…. …….. COACH COULD THIS BE IT?! CABOOSE COME ON DREK!! KEEP THE ARM UP!! AND IT STAYS UP!! The fans resoundingly boo as Drek manages to keep his arm up, even in the midst of this dragon sleeper. COACH Boose, do you realize what you just did? CABOOSE ……what? I want to see this match last longer. Is that a crime? Drek starts to thrash his arms about excitedly once again, and he manages to arch his back to the point where he has his feet standing on the mat. He jumps his feet up, planting them on the top rope, looking for an escape. But Calvin jumps back the opposite way…..AND BRINGS DREK DOWN TO THE MAT WITH A FALLING REVERSE DDT!! He quickly scrambles over to Drek and makes the cover! ONE…… TWO….. SHOULDER UP!! DREK JUST MANAGES TO GET A SHOULDER UP!! Once again, the fans start booing as Calvin quickly rolls off of Drek’s chest. He wills himself back up to his feet, then swiftly drops a legdrop across the throat of Drek. At this point, Drek seems to be knocked out cold on the mat, taking deep breaths to suck in some oxygen after the long dragon sleeper. Calvin grabs Drek by his arm and his leg, and yanks him over to a nearby turnbuckle. COACH You don’t think he could be going for…. COLE No way. Not with the condition of his knee. He starts to slowly climb the turnbuckle, favoring his right leg with every step. Once he gets to the top, he signals for the FUBU splash, receiving some boos but a surprisingly positive reaction. He tries to steady himself with both legs and looks ready to jump……but suddenly hesitates. He tries to shake his right knee to get some feeling back into it, and braces himself on the top turnbuckle once more. Yet again, Calvin looks as if he’s ready for the jump, but stops himself at the last second. COLE And Calvin is having some serious trouble getting the leg strength to jump off the top rope. Meanwhile, Drek manages to lift his head up and spot the referee standing nearby. Drek lifts his right leg and kicks the referee into the ropes. The vibrations cause the turnbuckle to start shaking and, with his right knee buckling, Calvin falls GROIN-FIRT on to the top turnbuckle. The fans let out a loud groan as Szechstein winces in pain. COLE That’s not right, dammit! CABOOSE Well, in a scientific match, referee manipulation is important too. With Calvin straddled on the turnbuckle, and Drek flat-out on the mat, the fans actually start clapping for the match taking place in front of them. Finally, Drek starts to pull himself to his knees until, after a few seconds, is able to get to his feet. Meanwhile, Calvin starts to stir on the turnbuckle, but is having trouble getting the strength to stand. Drek suddenly walks over to Calvin and grabs him by his right leg. Calvin tries to use his left leg to shove Drek off, but Drek gives him a hard chop to the chest. He tightens his hold on Calvin’s right leg and……BRINGS HIM OFF THE SECOND TURNBUCKLE WITH A DRAGONSCREW LEGWHIP!! COACH Whoa! Drek could have pulled that knee right out of its socket with that move! CABOOSE Calvin…..Calvin’s strong. I’m sure the guy’s allright. Former Heavyweight Champions of the world can survive that kind of punishment. Calvin, letting out a scream of anguish, immediately reaches for his right knee, but Drek swats his hands away. He quickly spins his body around the right leg of Calvin, and reaches for the left. But Calvin starts to speedily manuever his left leg, trying to keep it out of Drek’s grasp. Drek, intensely focused with applying this figure-four, lowers his head to get a little more leverage. But Calvin quickly scoops up Drek’s head and wraps him up in a small package!! ONE….. TWO….. THREE!!!! NO!!! At the last moment, Drek manages to get himself out of the small package. Both men, breathing hard, struggle to get on their feet. Again, with the benefit of having both legs intact, Drek is able to stand up first. He walks over to Calvin, but Calvin jumps up and puts Drek into a sleeperhold!! Again, Stone starts flailing his arms about, trying to quickly get Calvin off of his neck. With a burst of energy, Drek swings his body to the left, managing to throw Calvin off of his back. But, on the way around, Calvin lands on his feet and puts Drek’s head underneath his arm. He swiftly jumps up…..AND DRIVES DREK STONE INTO THE MAT WITH THE STONECUTTER!! COACH WOW!! CALVIN SZECHSTEIN JUST SHOCKED DREK STONE WITH THE STONECUTTER!! CABOOSE I don’t believe it!! This might get the win!! Calvin might do it!! COLE How could Drek’s neck withstand that DDT?! IT COULD BE BROKEN!! CABOOSE DON’T SPEAK LIKE THAT!! The fans quickly rise out of their seats and start screaming for Calvin to make the cover. Szechstein begins to slowly crawl towards Drek, who is laying on the mat lifeless. After a few seconds of struggling, Calvin makes it over to Drek and turns his body over. With a strong effort, Calvin DRAPES AN ARM ACROSS DREK’S CHEST!! The referee makes the count. ONE!!!!! COLE COULD IT BE OVER?! CABOOSE HAS CALVIN DONE IT?! TWO!!!! COACH DREK ISN’T MOVING!! THREE!!!!! SHOULDER UP!! DREK STONE GOT A SHOULDER UP!! COACH How the hell did Drek get a shoulder up?! CABOOSE Because he’s Drek Stone, that’s why! How is Calvin able to stand up right now? Because he’s Calvin Szechstein, that’s why! Learn to respect these men! The fans gasp in disbelief, with many of them looking as shocked as Calvin does at this point. Sitting on the mat, Calvin slowly wipes the sweat off of his forehead and shoots a confused glance towards Drek. Suddenly, Calvin opens his eyes wider, and a large smile crosses his face. He gingerly uses the middle rope to pull himself back up to his feet. Meanwhile, Drek has begun to roll around the mat, clutching at his neck with both hands. After a few seconds, he’s finally able to lift himself up onto one knee. Trying to inhale as much oxygen as he can, and coughing as a result, Drek woozily makes it into a standing position. Meanwhile, Calvin is standing behind him, almost stalking an unaware Drek. Drek begins to stagger back after standing up…..and he walks right into a Katahajime from Calvin!! COLE It’s a Tazz-Mission!! TAZZ-MISSION FROM CALVIN SZECHSTEIN! COACH Uh….Mikey…..we can’t use that term, you know. Copyright infringement and all that messy stuff. COLE There’s no way Drek’s neck could continue to take this damage! CABOOSE And now, Calvin is trying to add a body-scissors to the move. What intuitiveness! COLE If he locks in that body-scissors, it will be all over. There’s no escape! The fans start screaming as Drek excitedly tries to pull Calvin’s arm away from his throat. Calvin begins to attempt to lift his legs up to trap Drek in a simulatenous bodyscissors, but he just doesn’t have the strength to lift his right leg up that high. Drek, noticing that Calvin is having some trouble with his leg, catches it during one of Calvin’s attempts and grapevines it with his arm. Calvin, shouting in agony, slightly loosens the hold, giving Drek the opportunity to use his free arm to pry apart the hold. Drek quickly steps to the side and brings Calvin down to the mat with a high backdrop! After the move, Drek immediately floats over and rises up to his feet. He speedily spins his body around Calvin’s right leg, grabs his left leg, and falls to the mat……SLAPPING CALVIN SZECHSTEIN INTO A FIGURE-FOUR LEGLOCK!! COLE And he finally locked it in! Drek Stone has Calvin locked into the figure-four!! CABOOSE Look at the pain Calvin is in! I can’t see him like this! Almost instantly after the move is fully applied, Calvin starts screaming and strives to reach the ropes. But Drek isn’t having any of it. He adds even more pressure to the move, leaving Calvin struggling to seize any opportunity to escape. He tries to reach for Drek’s hair, but Drek quickly pulls his head away and increases the pressure. Calvin starts to make a solid attempt to turn his body over! HE TURNS HIS BODY TO THE SIDE….. BUT DREK STOPS THE MOMENTUM AND PUTS CALVIN ONTO HIS BACK AGAIN! CABOOSE And there’s Drek, using sheer guts to put Calvin onto his back! COLE These fans are going nuts! What’s going to happen here?! Calvin lies down on his back, starting to fade from the pain, and the referee begins to count. ONE….. TWO…. BUT CALVIN SITS BACK UP!! Again, he tries to reach for Drek’s head, but it’s no use. Drek simply pulls his head back and continues to apply more pressure to the move. Calvin begins to wildly survey the area around him, looking for any ring ropes to grab! COACH Calvin Szechstein is reaching for something……anything….to help him! COLE But what can he do?! The pain must be UNBEARABLE! Many of the fans in the arena are screaming for Calvin to reach the ropes!! But Calvin lifts his arm up…. …… ……lifts it up…… AND TAPS OUT!! *DING DING DING* COACH ……wow! COLE Amazing! Drek Stone has gotten Calvin Szechstein to tap out here tonight! And, in the process, has retained his Italian Championship! COACH Well, it looks like Drek has proven he’s the better technical athlete…. CABOOSE Both of these guys are tremendous technical athletes. Perhaps among the best the OAOAST has ever seen. And it’d be terrible if they weren’t recognized for their achievement. Calvin loudly pounds his hand against the mat, as the fans let out a loud roar of shock at Szechstein tapping out. Drek continues to keep the hold locked on for a few seconds after the bell rings, which angers the referee enough to scream at Drek about releasing the hold. He finally does and, after getting to his feet, looks out at the crowd who have started a loud chant of “Drek Stone Sucks!” The referee hands the Italian Championship over to Drek, much to the continued jeering from the crowd. CABOOSE What a mat classic these two put on for everybody here! COACH I’m going to have to agree with you here, Boose. What an incredibly hard-fought matchup. Either Drek or Calvin deserved to walk out of here with the title. COLE I can’t believe I’m actually agreeing with you two. Calvin slowly rolls out of the ring and begins to hobble to the back with a dejected look on his face. The fans actually begin to clap for him, until he simply flips them off, receiving a negative reaction once again. CABOOSE And there’s Calvin showing what he thinks of the fans. Beautiful! Meanwhile, in the ring, Drek lifts the title high over his shoulder with a pleased smile on his face. However, he doesn’t seem to notice someone sliding in the ring. The fans absolutely explode after seeing that the Mad Cappa is now standing behind Drek Stone!! COACH IT’S THE MAD CAPPA! THE MAD CAPPA IS HERE TONIGHT! CABOOSE SOMEBODY GET HIM OUT OF THERE!! THERE’S NO NEED FOR HIM TO RUIN TONIGHT!! Drek, still with the title over his head, starts to rotate around the ring, showcasing it to every fan in the building. However, after spinning around for a short while, he comes face-to-face with Cappa…. ........AND CAPPA HITS HIM WITH THE BUST-A-CAP!! A wild chant of “Cappa! Cappa!” unleashes in the arena crazy as Drek crumples to the mat! CABOOSE NO!! God, how I HATE HIM!! COACH WHY?! For getting revenge after Drek Stone HIT HIM WITH A SLEDGEHAMMER?! CABOOSE There’s no reason for him tonight! After such a hard-fought match between two brilliant athletes, there’s no REASON for this asshole to be standing in the ring! The Mad Cappa slowly picks up the Italian Championship with a look of disgust, then shoots a cold stare at Drek. He looks at the title for a few seconds…..a cold smile breaks across his face…..the cheers from the crowd starts to escalate…… CABOOSE Don’t you dare! Put down that title! COLE Drek Stone destroyed his title. Cappa has every right to do the same! CABOOSE The hell he does! …….but he simply drops the title back onto Drek’s chest. Somewhat disappointed, the crowd gets quieter, but quickly rises up once again when Cappa raises his arms high above his head. He then slowly walks over to Drek and, standing over his body, puts his face close to his. CAPPA I’m not going to destroy that title……..not yet. I’m going to want them to put some type of gold around my waist after I KICK YOUR ASS! The fans erupt in a series of cheers once again after hearing his words, and yet another chant of “Cappa! Cappa!” breaks out in the crowd as he raises his arms up for them once again. CABOOSE I can’t believe this night is going like this! How disgusting! COACH I don’t think so! And these fans don’t either! Cappa finally got his deserved revenge! COLE Fans, we’ll be back. (Go to break) (Return from break) COLE We’ll get to our second main event in just a second but as you all know, on July 24th and 25th, the OAOAST will be having the first-ever Emperor of Death Tournament, a sixteen-man single elimination deathmatch tournament, to conclude in perhaps one of the most insane deathmatch contraptions ever thought of. But, we can't spill the beans on it just yet. COACH Without further ado, let's announce the first four particpants for the tournament... COLE As you heard earlier, Sly Sommers has put his name in the hat, so he's number one. Joining him in the tournament will be Drek Stone, Scotty Static, and the returning "Shooter" Jay Darring! COACH Eh, it seems like Jay only wrestles in tournaments anymore... COLE Who cares? Jay Darring is an OAOAST Legend, and while we'd love to have him back more often, he's got other things in life way more important than wrestling that he must attend to. He's a good guy in my book... (The Rave and Assault Squad then jump the guardrail all of a sudden. Nate grabs a microphone from Michael Buffer.) COACH What the...? NATE I know, we're not supposed to be here. Hell, we're not supposed to be on television, period. But, we need to send out a message, and we don't care if we aren't "allowed" to be here to give it. See, for the past few months, we've been neglected by this company, due to their jealousy of our athletic ability, despite possibly being on certain medications. We were put in dark matches to "test out" new guys, or just kept home period. Quite frankly, we're sick of it. (Michael Cole grabs a microphone from a production assistant.) COLE Fine, if you're gonna whine about it, then do something about it! MIKEY Shut up, fruit loop! We are doin' something about it. We went out to our uncle's junkyard, where we usually hide our stuff... NATE Shut up about that! MIKEY Sorry...where we play hopscotch (winks), and we discovered some weird, gigantic contraption thing. It was this scaffolding square thing, and it stood about eleven feet in the air. It was then that we had a brainstorm, that being that we needed a new concept to make an impact on this company, and this scaffolding is it! COLE So, you're gonna start putting up the lights around here? NATE NO! It's for our new match concept. See, back on Christmas, Sly Sommers and Saint Andrew had themselves one hell of a match on this very show. Before that match, neither were really that noticed around here. Since then? Sly's got himself one hell of a reputation around here. Everywhere you go, you can't avoid his name. How'd they do something so great and break out from the pack? They did something new and never done before. They wrestled in the first-ever Parental Indiscretion match. MIKEY That's why we're out here tonight, to issue a challenge. See, we took an idea we had for a new match to the Board of Directors earlier this week. The concept was that we give the Parental Indiscretion match a new twist. So, it'll have all the usual toys outside the ring, and the referee won't come in until about ten minutes into the match. But, now there's the added twist of having a thirteen-foot mini-tower attached to the back of each turnpost. Connecting each tower platform, in a square formation, will be scaffolding. NATE The scaffolding will come into play for adding even more impact to insane high-flying moves, such as the ones that my boy SB87 does (SB87 nods in the background). We call it: "Parental Indiscretion 2: Daredevil's Delight." As for the meeting, the Board of Directors loved the idea so much that they're gonna use it for the Emperor of Death tournament. In the first round, it'll be us three vs. someone else in a four-way version of this match. One pinfall to a finish, and the winner gets a bye to the semi-finals. MIKEY Now, all we need is an opponent. So, we're leaving this challenge open for the next week: whoever wants in this match can contact us or the Board of Directors, and you're in... (Security guards come running from the back, and chase the Rave and Assault Squad into the crowd.) COACH Well...there you have it! Parental Indiscretion 2: Daredevil's Delight, with objects around the ring, a scaffold surrounding the ring, and no referee for ten minutes, in the first round of the Emperor of Death tournament at License To Pin: This Ain't Oz! When we come back, we’ll have our second of two main events! (Go to break)

(Return from break) (Backstage we go, where we see Alix Spezia in a locker room. She’s putting forth an enormous effort to pry the jaws of life known as CD case wrapping open. Trying her best not to become frustrated with the mass of plastic wrap preventing her from opening her CD she’s singing Jessica Simpson’s hit song, “With you”) ALIX I can let my hair down, I can say anything crazy..I know you’ll catch me.. OFF SCREEN VOICE Is that Patti Labelle or Alix Spezia? ALIX Huh? (Alix whips her head around to see the flamboyant glam rocker, Synth Esizer. Despite not being over come with joy to see him, Alix smiles politely.) ALIX Hi. SYNTH Damn. Someone call Simon Cowell and tell him to cancel his dinner plans, cuz the Synthster just found the real American Idol. ALIX (getting angry) Hey! Are you being sarcastic? SYNTH No way, jose. ALIX (clamed down) Oh, you really like my voice? I mean you don’t need to flatter me. SYNTH Wouldn’t have said nothing if I didn’t like it. ALIX Oh, thanks. That’s funny that you like it. People always really say I look like I'm 25 but talk like I'm five. I guess it's just kinda high and my words always seem to really, like hang in the air. They don't like my voice. Most people don't. I wanted to be anchorwoman for a news channel or be an investigative reporter, but my Broadcasting teacher at San Jose state told me it sounded like Hallie Eisenberg had possessed my voice. SYNTH Forget him. Guy’s a douche. Listen, the type of people that think your voice stinks are probably the same type of pussies who turn down the volume on their car radio whenever they drive into their superficial, suburban, yuppie infested, diversity deprived neighborhoods. The same spineless wage slave who's to god damn afraid to pop Hendrix into their CD player, take off that freedom oppressing piece of fabric called a tie, turn it to "Fire" and crank that knob all the way up and FUCKING ROCK OUT!!!! That's who doesn't like your voice, those weak willed, pussy whipped, Dido loving, Usher worshiping pieces of shit! And you know what? Good! It’s a damn good thing they don’t like your voice. Because if those soccer mom's and Jetta driving bastards liked your voice, we'd have a real problem. But because they're so god damn disgusted by it, we know that your voice FUCKING ROCKS! Girl, your mouth is a loud speaker connected to the grandest stage of them all..... Heaven!!!!!!!! ALIX You might wanna try decaf. But, uh, thanks for the compliments. (Synth notices that Alix is trying to open a CD case) SYNTH Wassup with the DVD? Is scratching at plastic some kind of new psychotherapy? ALIX No, I’m trying to get this darn thing open. It’s really frustrating!! I’ve been tearing at for an hour! SYNTH You don’t have a knife on you? ALIX If I did, I would’ve slit my wrist by now. SYNTH Well, fortune smiles on you tonight cuz you are one lucky lady. (Synth pulls out a pocket knife and starts to tear away at the plastic sleeve covering the jewel case. He easily shreds the CD of its wrapping and tosses it back to Alix.) ALIX That was fast. Thanks for your help. Um...I’m sure you have some where else to be, like not here. SYNTH (Shaking his head) To quote our hit power ballad In your heart I’m right where I want to be. Right, where I need to be and right where I’ll always be. At your side. In your heart. ALIX Hmm... If you’re going to stalk me, make yourself useful and help me put this necklace on. (Alix hands Synth a seashell surf pendant. Synth goes behind Alix, lifts her light brown coconut scented hair up and tries to put on the necklace. Synth stops short when he spots the tattoo of a half girl half butterfly on Alix’s back.) SYNTH Bad ass ink. What’s it symbolize? ALIX Beats me. I got really drunk in Miami one night way back during Spring break of my sophomore year of college. Anyway, the next night I woke up with a headache to end all headaches and this tattoo. So I guess it symbolizes stupidity and irresponsibility and the fact that a couple of shots of Corona turn me into Scott Hall. SYNTH Where’d you get the scar? The one on your shoulder. ALIX You know the sign that says “Slippery When Wet” Well, I learned the hard way that when it’s wet, it really is slippery. I was around eight years old and I was riding my bike in the rain. My mom said to come inside, but I told her that I was a big girl and that I’d be fine. Anyway, mother knew best because I feel off my bike and landed on my shoulder. And I ran all the way home with blood just pouring from my shoulder and it was raining so hard. Harder then I've ever seen. I really thought god's toilet was overflowing. It sucked, I left my bike out in the rain and everything....Yeah. SYNTH Scar’s tight. Makes you look tough, like you can go to prison and throw down with even the baddest dude. (Synth decides to switch gears) SYNTH Yo, about that groupie thing... ALIX We're not interested. (Synth has the nerve to be surprised!) SYNTH Why not? ALIX Because we'd be selling out our feminist ideals just to be your submissive sex toys! But, you know something? Supringsly, I really had a nice time talking to you. Maybe if instead of announcing to the entire viewing world that you want me and Krista to be devalued into your sex objects and had came to me and asked me out on a date like a reasonable clear thinking person, you'd receive an outcome that'd probably be really similar to one that you desire. Oh well. Live and learn, Synthster! (Alix leaves the room and we go to the arena) COACH A woman with a few scars, emotional or physical, is more likely to be very self conscious and have a low self esteem, meaning they’re more likely to sleep with me. Caboose gets up out of his seat and takes off his headset. He signals for a microphone and is handed one before sliding into the ring. Cole: I guess its time for our update about what happened with Caboose's family home last week... Caboose: Is this thing working? I guess it is. Just like always, lets have the AngleTron role the footage from last week... AngleTron: Replays Last Week's Events. Caboose: Well there you go. Some scumbag found out where I lived, brought himself a camera and decided to film my wife. Well fair play, my wife is gorgeous. No right-minded heterosexual male wouldn't want to film her, especially in the bathroom... The crowd is a little confused as to Caboose's point. Cole: Huh? Coach: She is hot. Caboose: ...But... The crowd pops. Caboose: ...She's my wife. I get to film her. No one else... Coach: Caboose makes home videos? Cole: Yowzer. Caboose: ...So if its anyone in the back, or anyone else, you've got a week to reveal yourself. One week. Be here next week or... Suddenly over the PA system a heavily distorted voice can be heard. DISTORTED VOICE: Or what Caboose? Cole: What the hell!? Coach: Where did that come from? Caboose: ...Show yourself you COWARD! DISTORTED VOICE: Now that wouldn't be any fun now would it Caboose? Caboose: You sonofabitch! If I ever, EVER find out who you are, I'm going to kill you! DISTORTED VOICE: Maybe, but then again, how are YOU going to find ME? Caboose: I'll find you. Don't worry you about that. DISTORTED VOICE: Whose worried Caboose? Certainly not me. If I was you, I'd be worried. Worried for my young daughter's safety. Caboose: What!? On the AngleTron, a clip plays of a camera hiding just behind a bush watching a particular girl through a window into a classroom. Eventually the footage freezes one the moment the girl glances out of the window. Caboose: You stay the fuck away from her. DISTORTED VOICE: Or what Caboose? Or what?... The voice starts laughing before fading. Caboose stares at the AngleTron seething. He drops the microphone, steps out of the ring and picks up a chair... ...Caboose looks at the chair and starts violently striking the ring post and ring steps. Caboose is heard shouting a slew very audible profanities. Suddenly Caboose drops the chair, sits back at ringside, puts his headset back on and simply says... Caboose: Leave it Cole. Cole: No problem. Coach: But what... Caboose stares at Coach with the same look as the one he just had in the ring. Coach: Nothing. Cole: We'll be back after these messages... (Go to break)