Patty O'Green

Main event time on HeldDOWN~!, as the final commercial break has just ended. Already in the ring is Michael Buffer, set to introduce the competitors. *DING DING DING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is a special tag team challenge, scheduled for one fall. Introducing first... "Set It Off" by Audioslave kicks up, and the crowd roars. Storming out of the dressing room and onto the stage are Crystal and Sly Sommers, working the crowd into even more of a frenzy. BUFFER From Bayside, California, he is SLYYYYY SOMMMMERRRRSSS. His partner, from Coquitlam, British Columbia, Canada, she is the Female Phenom of the OAOAST...CRRRRRRRRYSSSSSSSSTALLLL! COLE Great reaction from the fans for these two. CABOOSE These people are easily amused. COACH Are you kidding? Crystal is everything they could ask for and more! CABOOSE Then they don't ask for much. Sly and Crystal head to the ring, with each one posing for the crowd, drawing more praise from their followers. All that ends when the theme songs fades, and is replaced with the industrial beat of "Nothing", drawing out the OAOAST World Champion and the former World Champion, along with valet Candie. BUFFER Their opponents, being accompanied by Candie. First, now residing in Los Angeles, California, this is CALLLLVINNNN SZECCCCCCHSTEEEEEIN! His partner, the current reigning OAOAST Heavyweight Champion of the World, from Los Angeles, California, he is "The Franchise", ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK MALLLLLIBUUUUUUUUU! Zack and Calvin act as if the boos don't bother them, not letting the fans irritate them and instead head to the ring at a leisurely pace. Once they get to ringside, Zack unstraps the title belt from his waist and hands it to Candie, then leans in so that she can kiss him on the cheek. Malibu hops up on the apron and gets into the ring, where Calvin already stands, eyeing his former partner Sommers. Malibu steps in and eyes Crystal, as the four stare each other down...AND THEN IT'S ON! Malibu and Calvin try to get the first shots in, but they're both blocked! Sly and Crystal each stagger their respective opponents with punches, and then Irish Whip them to the far side, catching them with hiptosses on the rebound! Both Zack and Calvin get to their feet, only to get knocked down again via dropkicks! Sly charges Calvin, who ducks down and backdrops the former Malibu protege over the top ropes, while Crystal sends Zack into the ropes again. Crystal ducks her head for a back bodydrop, but Zack leapfrogs over her. She gets up to go at him, but when she turns Zack and Calvin charge with a double clothesline...but Crystal ducks! Running under their arms, she bounces off the ropes, and leaps up, nailing BOTH of them with a jumping double clothesline! Crystal pulls Zack up, throwing him into the corner and then climbing up on the second rope, raising her fist up to work the crowd before bringing it down on Zack's head! Referee Charles Robinson tries to get her out of the corner, but to no avail, as she hammers on Zack's forehead... ONE! TWO!! THREE!! FOUR!! FIVE!! SIX!! SEVEN!! EIGHT!! NI...NO! Calvin gets up and ducks his head under Crystal's legs, propping her up on his shoulders. He backs away from the corner as Zack is dazed, but Crystal shifts her weight so that she backflips off of Calvin's shoulders, landing behind him! Crystal shoves the former Totally Endorsed leader forward, and Malibu ducks out of the way, causing Calvin to slam into the corner chest first! Crystal takes him by the head and quickly runs up the ropes, spinning around and kicking her legs out, nailing Zack with a dropkick like manuever before spiking Calvin's head into the mat with a DDT! Crystal makes a cover quickly, and Robinson counts, even though there's technically not a legal person at this point. It's all for naught though, as at the count of two Crystal is yanked off of Calvin by Malibu! He pulls Crystal up and applies a front facelock, but before he can follow up she counters with a drop toehold, and then Sly Sommers slingshots in with a legdrop, bringing it down across the back of Malibu's head! Sommers goes for a cover on Malibu now, and Robinson counts this one as well...but Zack gets a shoulder up at two! Calvin has rolled out of the ring, so Crystal takes a spot out on the apron, finally allowing the match to segue into regular tag match territory. Sly picks Zack up and wrenches the arm, holding Malibu by the wrist and applying pressure to the appendage. Malibu counters with an arm wrench of his own, following the same format as Sly, but Sommers counters, taking Zack's arm and locking him in a hammerlock before then brushing him across the back of his head and mussing his hair! Malibu turns around, disgusted, and Sly can only wave him on, daring him to come at him. The two lock up, with Malibu grabbing a headlock, then Sly slipping out and doing the same. Malibu attempts to lift him for a back suplex, but Sly allows his weight to come down and take Zack over as well, bringing him over with a headlock takedown! Sly pops up, keeping an eye on Zack and then hiptossing him as he gets up...but Zack lands on his feet, and delivers a knee to Sly's gut! CABOOSE Looks like Sly Sommers lost that game of one-upsmanship. Malibu staggers Sly with lefts and rights, simply pounding on the up and coming superstar, until Sly starts fighting back, giving Zack a reciept for his jabs by nailing the champion with shots of his own! Zack is staggered, and Sly backs into the ropes, coming at Zack with a lariat, but Zack ducks and goes behind Sly, grabbing him in a rear waistlock and rocking him with a release German Suplex! COLE Quick thinking by the champ there. Malibu gets up and starts putting the boots to Sly, pissed that Sommers tried to "show him up". Crystal protests from the apron, and Malibu hears this, so he does the only thing he can do...he goes and shoves her off the apron to the floor! COACH Mikey, you shoulda taken Zack out when you had the chance. CABOOSE Bwahahaha. Cole is your personal hitman? Now I've heard everything. The crowd shows their hatred for Malibu by jeering the move, and booing just as loudly when Malibu retrieves Sommers and drags him to his corner, then tags in Sly's former boss in Totally Endorsed, Calvin Szechstein. With Sly hurt and trapped in the corner, the Thrillogy members start putting the boots to him, not ahering to Charles Robinsons' calls to give Sly some room. Malibu heads back out to the apron, and looks on with approval as Sly stays slumped in the corner, prone to a... CHOP~! ...from Calvin Szechstein. Sommers reels, and Calvin again takes the edge of his hand... CHOP~! ...and brings it across Sly's chest again, causing red marks to become visible on the chest of the man from Bayside! Calvin takes Sly by the arm and sends him into the other corner, watching as Sly goes flying into the opposite corner and hitting hard...but what he doesn't see is Sommers making the tag to Crystal upon collision! Szechstein comes running, but Sly fires off an elbow to stun him, as Crystal enters the ring from the top rope, diving onto the shoulders of Calvin and snapping him over with a huracanrana! Calvin struggles to his feet, but Crystal is right there with him, lifting him up and then drilling him with an inverted atomic drop, then setting him up in a standing headscissors...but Calvin dumps her overhead out of desperation, over the ropes...and she lands on the apron! Malibu comes over from the corner and grabs her by the hair before she can try anything, but Crystal dumps him over the ropes, INTO the ring! Crystal stays on the apron, waiting on both Zack and Calvin to get up before jumping to the top rope and springboarding back into the ring with a bodypress that brings her down across both guys, wiping them both out! COACH Air Crystal~! I hope there's a Mile High Club! CABOOSE You've got to be high if you think she'd sleep with you. Crystal picks Calvin up off the mat, but catches a shot to the ribs, taking the wind out of her. Malibu gets up, and he and Calvin prepare for a double suplex...only to have Sly come in and pull Crystal down to her feet! Malibu and Calvin wonder what the hell just happened, and turn around, but Robinson ushers Malibu out of the ring, leaving Calvin prone to the very move he just nearly tried with his partner on Crystal! CABOOSE Come on Robinson, you twit! COLE Fair's fair, 'Boose. With Szechstein down, Crystal looks out to the crowd, and already looks like she's ready to put the cocky corporately sponsored egomaniac away, as she runs the ropes, jumping up to the second rope...and getting pushed backwards, as Candie jumped up on the apron to save Calvin from a Diamond in the Rough! Robinson comes over and admonishes Candie, which gives Malibu the go ahead to enter the ring behind his back! Zack heads for Crystal, but Sly runs in and cuts him off, booting Zack in the gut and then setting him up for his trademark piledriver...but Calvin gets up and nails Sly to save Zack! Calvin boots his one time partner out of the ring, and then turns back to Crystal...but gets both of his legs taken out from under him, as she takes him to the mat and locks on THE CRYSTALLING~! COLE YES, YES! This'll do it right here! Calvin squirms, calling for help from his teammate, but when Zack gets up, Robinson is quick to block his path, ordering him back out to the apron! Malibu goes, albeit slowly...and that gives Candie the go ahead to enter the ring and pull Crystal by her hair to the canvas, breaking the hold! Candie escapes before Lil' Naitch can turn around, and now both Crystal and Calvin are on the canvas! Candie runs back over to her corner, but as she does the fans start to stand, and the cameras cut to the ramp to show NORTHSTAR coming down! COLE Here he comes, the fourth man on Crystal's team come War Games! Candie taps Zack on the leg, but it appears Northstar is coming for her in an effort to even the odds! Northstar walks over to Candie, making her back up away from him as he approaches. Calvin makes the tag to Zack, but rather than come in and take advantage of Crystal, he jumps down off the apron and runs over to protect his girlfriend, spinning Northstar around...and Northstar shoves him onto his ass! Malibu gets up in a hurry, coming at Northstar with a vengeance, but Northstar ducks the shot, and Malibu pulls the punch just in time so that he doesn't hit Candie! Zack and Candie both sigh in relief, but Northstar takes Zack by the tights and rolls him into the ring, getting this match back in gear! Malibu gets up, angered by the presence of another foe, and goes to the ropes to holler at Northstar...only to be rolled up by Crystal! ONE! TWO!! THR...KICKOUT! Zack escapes defeat! He knees Crystal in the stomach as she's getting up, then drags her over to the corner and rams her head into the top turnbuckle, stunning her. Malibu then lifts Crystal up so that she's perched on the top rope, facing out to the crowd, and then climbs up himself. Hooking her by the waist, Malibu lifts her up, hitting a back superplex from the top...AND CRYSTAL SHIFTS IN MID AIR, COMING DOWN ON TOP OF ZACK! ONE! TWO!! THREE...NO~! COLE So close! Malibu shoves Crystal off and gets up, running at her while she's standing and nailing her in the jaw with a YAKUZA KICK~! Malibu then goes to tag in Calvin Szechstein...but now Northstar yanks Calvin down off the apron, making Zack unable to make the tag! CABOOSE Hey! COACH It's fighting fire with fire! Robinson leans through the ropes, scolding Northstar for his actions, and Northstar simply begs off. Calvin tries coming at him, but Robinson jumps out of the ring, seperating the two...and now HOFF starts making his way down the aisle. CABOOSE I feel a hate crime coming on! The 24/7 Champion, looking none too pleased, storms down to the ring...but soon has AJ Flaire on his back, as the youngster charges down the aisle and leaps on top of the upstart! Hoff flails his arms, trying to shake AJ, but Flaire stays on his back, holding him in a sleeper until Hoff violently snapmares him over! No sooner does Hoff get rid of AJ than Northstar comes over and decks him, delivering a stiff punch to the man who holds a title that Northstar made famous! Seeing that, Calvin jumps down off the apron, and we've got a brawl going on in the aisle while the match is still going on in the ring! COLE We need help! CABOOSE YOU need help. I'm enjoying this! Malibu looks at the carnage going on outside of the ring, as OAOAST officials rush out, trying to seperate The Thrillogy members and the babyface side. Seeing Crystal weak and weary, Malibu keeps an eye on her recovery, waiting for the right moment to strike...then comes at her with SCHOOL'S OUT~!...NO! CAUGHT! Crystal takes his other leg out from under him, and now locks Zack in THE CRYSTALLING~!...but Zack quickly crawls to the ropes, grabbing the bottom one to call for a break! Zack quickly pulls himself up, and turns around to Crystal...AND WALKS INTO A SCHOOL'S OUT BY THE FEMALE PHENOM~! CRYSTAL COVERS~! ONE! TWO!! NO!!!!! KICKOUT! Malibu gets up, and everyone thought for sure that was it! Crystal pulls Zack to his feet, trying for a neckbreaker but Malibu breaks out of the attempt and grabs a rear waistlock, looking for a German Suplex...NO! Crystal flips out of it, and applies her own rear waistlock, looking for a German...and Malibu flips out of THAT! Crystal turns around...SCHOOL'S OUT...NO~! CRYSTAL HITS A BASEMENT DROPKICK TO MALIBU'S SUPPORTING LEG~! Zack falls down, clutching at his knee, and Crystal runs the ropes, jumping up to the second one and hitting DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH~! She hooks the leg, and Robinson makes the count! ONE! TWO!! THREE!!! COACH SHE DID IT! COLE She pinned him! So much for Zack calling her "all hype"! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winners, SLY SOMMERS AND CRYSTAL! CABOOSE Unbelieveable. Horrible officiating. "Set It Off" begins to play, and once that music is heard, the melee on the outside begins to settle down. Crystal and Sly hug, happy with their win, but duck out of the ring quickly, as Hoff, Candie and Calvin return to tend to the fallen champion, favoring his left knee. Crystal and Sly regroup with AJ and Northstar at ringside, and the four faces raise their hands, with all of them basking in the fact that the Female Phenom just pinned the World Champion fair and square! COLE We're barely into the summer months, and things are already heating up. The Female Phenom has just pinned Zack Malibu, and you can bet that that will only serve to make War Games much more memorable. CABOOSE That's because it's going to be the last day on Earth for that hussy, Cole. COACH ...take it back. COLE That remains to be seen, Caboose. What we have seen though is more great action, and we were happy to have you with us tonight. Join us again next week, here on HeldDOWN~! (The Thrillogy members help Zack up, as he walks with his arms around Hoff and Calvin, limping noticeably. Malibu has a look of evil in his eye, as the cameras cut to the babyfaces, and a smiling Crystal, who are standing on the ramp in all their glory, as we...) FADE OUT

We open the show with with a close-up of Abe Vigoda, sitting at his desk and looking somber. ABE Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to HeldDOWN~!. Tonight, I come to you with an announcement that I wish I didn't have to make, but for my well-being both physically and mentally, I must. On this program two weeks ago, footage was shown of myself and the esteemed Bill Watts being attacked from behind by Puerto Rican Lightning just because I hold a position of power in this company. As you all can tell, I'm getting up there in age, and my body cannot handle such physical attacks from athletes who are trained for combat. I know that in the future, with the animosity building amongst our athletes towards both each other and authority, that something like that is bound to happen again. Therefore, it saddens me to say that I am stepping down as Director of Authority of the OAOAST. (You can hear the crowd go "AWWWW!") ABE I loved my job, and I must thank Mr. Watts for the honor of choosing me to control this company. But, the fear of physical attack is too high, and I must go. In my absence, the OAOAST Board of Directors will take over any decision I would have had the power to make, and stay as a strong, yet silent authoritative force in this company. With that being said, goodbye to all of you and enjoy the show. Fade into the opening video package set to “Trust me” by pop starlet Lucy Woodward. OAOAST HeldDOWN~! We’re taken to the arena where the opening orange and red pyro is exploding on the entrance way and above the ring. A smokey haze settles over the arena as we get a shot of Triple C! COLE Welcome ladies and gentlemen to the sold out Wheeling Civic Center in Wheeling West Virginia! I’m the undefeatable man, Michael Cole, joined my partners in crime, Caboose and Jonathan Coachman! CABOOSE Cole, HeldDOWN kicked off with a bang! The show just started an already someone dropped a bombshell! Abe Vigoda has stepped down as director of authority of HeldDOWN, and all I can say is that it’s about time. Abe was in way over his head and hopefully we’ll get someone who can restore some semblance of order and discipline to the fed. COACH From one former GM to the next, HeldDOWN starts off with Northstar taking on Spanish Fly! "My Happy Ending" by Avril Lavigne blasts through the loud speakers causing the sold out Wheeling crowd who had been bored to sleep by the preshow "entertainment" to erupt with a chorus of excited cheers! COLE Here comes my tag team partner! CABOOSE Ha! It was one match and he did all the work! You shit your pants out of fright trying to do a basic body splash! If Northstar hadn't been there they'd still be peeling you up off the arena floor. Zack and Candie would've killed you! As the song picks up in tempo the sliding doors at the top of the entrance stage part, allowing Northstar to step into the noisy civic center. As the ovation for him reaches ear shattering levels, Northstar bows appreciatively before the wrestling starved fans. BUFFER The following match is scheduled for one fall with a time limit of twenty minutes, now making his way to the ring from Beverly Hills, California, weighing in at one hundred and ninety-eight pounds....NORTHSTAAAAR! As Michael Buffer finishes his introduction, Northstar hits the ring. He glances at his opponent for tonight, Spanish Fly, then leans against the ropes, relaxing before the match. BUFFER And already in the ring, from Tiajuna, Meeeeeeehicoooo, weighing in at one hundred ninety-eight pounds, the Spanish FLYYYYYYYYY! He is joined at ringside by Lightning Crew Members, Mr.Boricua and the Cuban Wall! COLE Tha Puerto Rican has been locked up and the key has been thrown away. Now this young lucha libre fanatic, Spanish Fly has a chance to step out of his leader's shadow by scoring an upset victory over Northstar. COACH Yo, TPR, if you're watching, I got some advice for you! When you get to jail, make sure you stab the biggest dude you can find. And when he's bleeding to death, you piss in his mouth. That way every one knows you're not to be messed with and you won't be turned into someone's wife. During my time in the county blues I did that and a couple weeks later I was heading the Black Guerrilla Family and running the 'Cane game out of the mail room. CABOOSE I'm afraid that never happened, Coach. With both competitors in the ring the ref calls for the bell and the opening match is underway! Lock up to start! The grapplers briefly jockey for position. It looks like Spanish Fly is about to gain the upper hand, when all of sudden Northstar effortlessly pushes him into the corner and sets him against the turnbuckle! Northstar rears his hand back.... SMAAAACK! Spanish Fly is nailed with an overhead chop! And another! And another! One look at his bright red chest and the fans in the front row feel pain for him! Northstar turns Fly around so that his front is facing the corner. He grabs the back of Fly's head and proceeds to smash his face into the turnbuckle! He does it again! And agai....NO! Fly blocks the last attempt by putting his left foot onto the bottom turnbuckle!! Fly throws a back elbow that catches Northstar sqaure in the jaw! The fan favorite stumbles backwards, holding his mouth and checking to see if the blow has drawn any blood! COLE Spanish Fly hitting Northstar with a hard elbow. CABOOSE They can see that, they’re not blind COACH What if they are? With Northstar still reeling from the elbow, Spanish Fly jumps to the second rope. When Northstar turns around to face Fly, he's caught with a high impact missile dropkick!!! The crowd who certainly isn't pro-Fly, has to show a begrudging respect for the impressive aerial display. On the outside, the Lightning Crew members give their stable mate an encouraging round of applause. Fly waits patiently for Northstar to rise to his feet. When he does, Fly leaps onto his shoulders hoping to hit a hurricanrana! Northstar has other ideas however, and the saavy superstar simply counters the hurricanrana into a Blow a Kiss (Liontamer). The fans rise to their feet and begin to cheer loudly as Northstar tries to lock Spanish Fly in the deadly submission hold! Cuban Wall, who a few seconds ago and been prematurely celebrating a victory is now jumping up and down, yelling for Spanish Fly to fight out of the move! COLE They're cueing My Happy Ending! This match just may be over! Desperate to avoid an early defeat, Fly furiously flops his way to the ropes before Northstar can turn him over and secure himself a quick victory. CABOOSE Close call. I don't think Fly expected to find himself in the Blow a Kiss so soon. Looking to get away from Northstar, who keeps kicking him in the back, Fly rolls underneath the bottom ropes and onto the ring apron. Northstar reaches over the ropes, grabs Fly by the mask and violently yanks him to his feet. As he attempts to bring Fly upright, his adversary wildly shoulder blocks him in the gut! The move doubles Northstar over and buys Fly a few seconds to catch his breath. COLE Was Fly playing possum? Did he trick Northstar into thinking he was down and out? The crowd breaks out a spontaneous "Let's Go Northstar." chant. Enraged that they'd cheer for his opponent, Spanish Fly reaches over the ropes and grabs a handful of Northstar's hair. The cruiserweight drags Northstar to the corner and SMASHES~! his face into the turnbuckle! Northstar falls to the mat, clutching his youthful face and shouting out in pain. Fly ducks underneath the middle ropes and steps into the ring. He brings his rival to his feet and drills him with a nasty elbow to the top of the head! The move nearly floors Northstar but Fly keeps him upright. With the crowd still chanting "let's go Northstar" Fly hooks the chants recipient into the 3/4 facelock then falls backwards, spiking Northstar's already hurt face into the mat! Satisfied with the damage done, Fly drapes his arm around Northstar's chest and goes for a cover. 1 2 Kick Out! "You got this one!" Cuban Wall hollers at his stable mate, offering him words of encouragement. Fly slams his hands against the mat three times to show OAOAST ref Okari Tanaka how to count to three. He brings Northstar to his feet and nails him with a few quick jabs to the cheek. Fly goes for a lightning quick super kick but his foot is caught by Northstar! Northstar slams a stunned Fly's foot down and NAILS~! him with a back breaker! The Lightning Crew members on the outside turn away in horror as Northstar drops Fly back first across his outstretched knee!!! CABOOSE I have a feeling we're about to see Northstar start to work on Spanish Fly's back in preperation for the Blow a kiss. Move over Miss Cleo, because Caboose is the real psychic friend! Northstar drops Spanish Fly backfirst across his knee, nailing him with another Backbreaker! Fly tries to roll away in order to catch a breather but Northstar won't let up! He grabs a hold of Fly's legs, and the crowd begins to cheer for what appears to be the set up for the Blow a Kiss (Liontamer) BUT Northstar fools them all when he just sling shots Fly to the corner! Fly impresses the hell out of everyone in the arena when he lands onto the top turnbuckle. Looking to the turn the tide back in his favor, he flies off the top rope with a moonsault press...NORTHSTAR CATCHES HIM! CABOOSE Considering that Northstar isn't that strong, I'm surprised he was able to make such an easy catch on Spanish Fly. "Kiddy stuff!" Northstar hollers. With Fly draped over his left shoulder, Northstar makes a mad dash to the corner. When he gets to the ropes he ducks down and sandwiches Fly's back between his shoulder and the turnbuckle! Fly falls to the mat and folds up like an accordion. He groans in agony after the devastating blow Northstar dealt him. CROWD Let’s go Northstar! Let’s go Northstar! Let’s go Northstar! Northstar rips his mesh shirt off and the ladies in the audience pop louder for that then they did for his entrance! Northstar brings Fly to his feet but gets nailed with a dropkick to the knee! The move buys Fly a bit of time as Northstar hobbles backwards cussing at Fly under his breath. The smallest superstar in the OAOAST jumps onto the top rope then springboards back with a corckscrew moonsault..........and MISSES! Northstar sidesteps the move and Fly crashes to the mat back first! COACH I think that may have done it! That high risk move may have cost Fly the match!! "This'll hurt you a lot more then it'll hurt me!" Northstar comments as he drags Fly to the center ring and turns him over for the Blow a kiss! Northstar sits down on Fly's back as the sold out crowd rises to their feet, waiting to see the inevitable submission! CROWD Tap out! Tap out! Tap out! Without even making an effort to head for the ropes, Spanish Fly indeed does tap out! The vocal fans cheer loudly as the ref calls for the bell and "My Happy Ending" plays one more time over the speakers! Northstar climbs to the top rope and raises his hands in victory as camera flashes from ringside photographers bath him in a white glow. COLE Northstar scoring a decisive victory over Spanish Fly! CABOOSE It was a good showing by Fly, but I think the decision to use a corkscrew moonsault at the end may have cost him the match. He should've gone for a grounded move like a DDT then tried the moonsault. Oh well, no skin off my back. COLE Folks while the LC helps Spanish Fly to the back, we’re going to take you backstage. (We go backstage where we see Eddy Kalm sitting at his desk looking through some papers. There’s a knock at the door and Eddy looks up.) EDDY I didn’t expect to see you this week. *The camera turns around to see Rick Edwards.* RICK Yeah…well J. Arthur is in a trial this week and I got bored. I figured I might as well vent a little more. EDDY Careful…you’re almost beginning to sound like you care. RICK No…I just need to let off some steam. EDDY About what? RICK This chick who keeps stalking me is driving me crazy. EDDY I have an ex-wife so I know how you feel. RICK I don’t get her. Why does she care about me anyway? I’ve never met her until the other day and now she thinks she has to change me! Who does she think she is? EDDY You’ve made quite a drastic change in personality and it’s put a lot of people off. Those who looked up to you have been affected the most. RICK I can’t shake the feeling that there’s more behind this than it seems. She has an agenda…everyone seems to have one. EDDY You have trouble trusting people don’t you? RICK I haven’t been given a lot of reasons to trust people in my life. EDDY Then why do you trust J. Arthur and The Boss? RICK They have money and power and yet they gave me a chance. They didn’t have to do that. EDDY Maybe they are using you? RICK Listen here buddy!! You don’t know them like I do! EDDY You’re right. I spoke out of place and I’m sorry. RICK Whatever. EDDY Do you trust me? You seem to trust me. RICK You’re doing your job as a counselor. I figure you have nothing to gain by screwing me over. However, if you do screw me over I’ll have to kill you. EDDY I’m not going to do that. RICK Good…now I’m out of here because I have a match later. *Rick gets up and goes to the door. He stops after opening it.* RICK Hmmm…no officials this time. Where’s my hint? EDDY They didn’t expect you to come see me today. Plus with the change of power around here they probably forgot. RICK Figures. I’m not worried about it. I can beat whoever they choose to face me. They want me to squirm and panic over this mystery opponent, but I’m not going to! (Rick leaves as Eddy goes back to writing on his notepad.)

(Return from break) *we cut to a dark room in the back. Nothing but complete blackness. Slowly a green light illuminates the room. The fans expect to see Damaramu step into it but Ryan Smith slowly walks into the middle of it.* SMITH Damaramu. They say that good vs. evil is the purest form of battle. That good will always win out against evil. I used to believe this. Hell it's what took me into my Anglemania victory. But somewhere along the line evil struck back. Evil struck back with a furious vengeance. You just wouldn't die. And you wouldn't leave me alone. You and your sick Cult have come after me time and time again. Finally ending with my most recent stay in a Mexican hospital. But you know what I thought through all of this? I thought "Hey I'm good! That means I'll win! Good always beats evil!" Well I've decided that's just not the case. Good does not always beat evil. That's why I've decided to vanquish evil with evil. Fire with fire. Damaramu in the gauntlet match......get ready to see evil like you've never seen before. *The green light slowly fades out as we here Smith laughing. We pan out to a locker room where Damaramu and The Cult are watching this on a monitor. The Cult looks up at Damaramu who almost has a worried look on his face but it quickly turns back to confidence.* DAMA Get your bags guys.....we have some training to do. FADE TO BLACK *********** Mysterious Asian Man surrounded by bums: Hewwo evwybody, Baka Taka Funaki he-ya wive at the Down Cwossing Soup Kitchen. We are awaiting dee awwival of Fonzie and his cwew... wait a minute, I think I he-ya a moto-cycle wight now. (the old Soup Kitchen doors open and in walks Fonzie with Bobby Rogers and Dangerous Dan Dierdorf at his side. Fonzie gives the double thumbs up) Heeeeeeeyyyyy. (Mr. Warrior BURSTS through the doors, runs around the room, pauses and snarls while doing mock gestures for a gorilla-press slam and then proceeds to run right back out of the building) Fonzie: Ok Homeless Dan, where are youz at? (Just then laughter can be heard from behind the foodline counter and there stands Homeless Dan) Homeless Dan: So, I see the FAGS decided to show up. Well, if you want a piece of my team then you’ll have to agree to my rules! Fonzie: Names it! Homeless Dan: Alright then, our teams will meet at the Great Angle Bash…in what match will be up to you…kind of. (just then Homeless Dan pulls the canvas off of a large item behind you) See, in order to figure out what type of match you will have to…Spin the Wheel! (Fonzie looks around uncertain and the bums at their long tables slam down their red plastic cups while chanting “Spin the Wheel, Make the Deal!”) Fonzie: Oks Dan, you gots yourself a deal! (Fonzie walks up to it and gives it a Ferocious Spin~. The crowd "Ohhs" and "Ahhhs" as it spins. Finally it slowly comes to a halt.) Baka Taka Funaki: Oh my, it has wanded on... WARGHEYMS!!!!!!!!! (Fonzie and Homeless Dan stare one another down as the screen fades to black) (Go to the arena) (“Tear Away” by Drowning Pool is playing as we come back and the fans are booing Rick Edwards who has stepped out onto the stage. Rick tells some fans to shut up when Christopher Cain shows up and stares the fans down. The fans quiet down a bit and shy away as the imposing Cain turns back to Rick. Rick looks a little worried and increases the distance between himself and Cain.) COLE Cain is back out here. This can’t be good. He’s already sent Judas to the hospital tonight! CABOOSE He’s Rick’s bodyguard. He has to be out here. COACH That man is going to give me nightmares. *Rick slides into the ring and Cain takes his place at ringside as the music fades out.* *“Bound for the Floor” by Local H begins and the fans give him a warm welcome. Chris slaps hands with the fans on his way to the ring, but he stops short when he sees Cain walking around ringside. Cain just stares at him as he slides into the ring.* CABOOSE Cole you have to admit that Rick has been a fighting champion. This is the third week in a row that he’s given a young talent a shot at the X Title. He’s even going into the PPV without knowing who is opponent is going to be! COLE I will admit that he is a fighting champion, but tonight he has added leverage in his corner. COACH I think Rick is just as afraid of Cain as Stevens might be. *Both men look at ringside wondering when the ring announcing will start. Buffer remains in his chair with his arms folded as Rick laughs.* *Ding Ding Ding* Both men circle around each other for a second before Chris reaches his hand out for a handshake. Rick looks at him funny before slowly extending his hand…and slapping the face of Chris Stevens! COLE Oh come on! Stevens steps back for a second and nods his head as Rick smirks at him. They then lock up and Chris hits a quick Armdrag! Rick is up quickly and locks up again, but Chris manages to get a Side Headlock. Rick shoves him off to the ropes and takes him down with a Shoulder Block before hitting the ropes. Rick goes for the Flipping Legdrop, but Chris moves and Rick hits the mat hard. As Rick stands Chris grabs him and whips him to the ropes before hitting a Hip Toss and going for a quick cover. 1 No!!! COLE Stevens is all over Rick so far. COACH Damn…thanks for the bad visual there Cole. CABOOSE You thinking about your fantasies over there Cole? Chris pulls Rick to his feet and backs him into a corner where he nails him with four European Uppercuts. Chris then whips him across the ring, but Rick reverses and Chris hits the corner back first. Rick then takes a running start and nails Chris with a High Knee in the corner. Chris’ head snaps back and he stumbles forward before being driven to the mat by a Bulldog from Rick. Cover. 1 2 No!!! Rick pulls him to his feet and goes for a Brainbuster, but Stevens falls behind him and takes him down with a Waistlock Takedown. Stevens then grabs a Side Headlock while on the mat and really grinds in. Rick reaches up and tries to break the lock with his hands, but Chris holds on tight. Cain suddenly reaches in and places Rick’s foot on the ropes, but the ref didn’t notice and makes Chris break the hold. COLE The ref needs to send Cain to the back! Chris stands up and throws a kick at Cain, but Cain swats his foot away. The ref yells at Cain, but Cain ignores him and throws his arms in the air. Rick stands and spins Chris around, but Chris is ready and nails him with a kick to the gut. Chris then hooks him for a Vertical Suplex and hits it. Cover. 1 No!! Chris pulls him back to his feet and grabs him for a Northern Light’s Suplex, but Rick elbows his way out and hits a Short Arm Clothesline on Chris before bailing to the outside. Rick takes a second to catch his breath, but Cain comes over, pats him on the back, and begins giving him advice. Rick just looks dumfounded and decides to slide back into the ring. COACH I think he’d rather take his chances in the ring. Chris stands and catches the entering Rick with a Flying Forearm that knocks him off his feet. As Rick stands Chris goes for a Hurricanrana, but Rick shoves him off. Chris back flips and lands on his feet before running towards Rick. Rick runs forward as well and both men go for a High Knee…but they collide in mid air and come down holding their shins. COLE Wow! Double High Knees cancel each other out! CABOOSE Wow you sure are smart. Rick seems pissed and blasts Chris off his feet with a hard clothesline. He then waits for Chris to stand and takes him back down with a Dropsault. Rick then bounces off the ropes and hits a Flipping Leg Drop. Cover. 1 2 No!!! COLE Rick is a man possessed! COACH He has a demon!? CABOOSE My God…how stupid…nevermind. Rick then pulls him up by the head and hooks him for a Brainbuster, which he hits. Rick then climbs to the top rope and waits for Chris to stand. COLE We don’t see Rick do this often…at least not since his Blurricane days. As Chris stands Rick dives forward and catches him with a Tornado DDT! CABOOSE Wow!!! COACH You said it! COLE Rick with a cover! 1 2 3 No!!! Chris kicks out! Rick vents his frustration to the ref, but the ref holds up two fingers. Rick pulls Chris up by the head again, but out of nowhere Chris begins nailing him with right hands. Chris backs him up into the corner where he whips him across to the other side. Rick hits the corner hard and stumbles out as Chris goes for a Superkick. Rick manages to catch Chris’ foot and shoves him back. Chris stumbles into the ropes where Cain climbs onto the apron and grabs him. The ref runs over and tells him to let go, but Cain shoves the ref back. Rick runs at Chris and goes for a Forearm shot, but Chris moves and the forearm hits Cain. Cain looks only slightly fazed before shoving Rick back…right into a roll up by Chris! 1 2 3 No!!! Rick kicks out!! COLE We almost had a new X Champion after that mix up! Rick comes up screaming. RICK Dammit Cain I don’t need your help!!! Just leave! The ref echoes Rick’s sentiment by sending Cain to the back. Cain raises his hands in the air and slowly walks to the back. COLE It’s about time! Rick turns around right into a Superkick attempt by Chris, but Rick catches the foot and spins him around. As Chris comes back around he hits a Clothesline on Rick that takes him to the mat. COLE Shades of DDP! Chris waves Rick on as he waits for him to stand. When Rick stands Chris grabs him and hits a Northern Lights Suplex with a bridge. 1 2 3 No!!! Chris stands and pulls Rick to his feet before going for a Diamond Cutter. Rick shoves him forward before he can perform the move and as Chris comes back he ducks and hits a Back Body Drop on Chris! COACH Baaaaack Body Drop…with authority! CABOOSE You’re not Vince. Rick turns around and waits for Chris to stand before running up and hitting a Doomsday Kick! The smack of Rick’s foot against the back of Chris’ head echoes throughout the arena as the fans boo. Rick then signals that the end is near by blowing a snot rocket onto Chris. COLE That’s just disgusting. Rick then pulls him back to his feet and sits him on the top turnbuckle. Rick steps back a few feet and comes running in for the Brain Damage, but Chris shoves him back and he lands on the mat. Chris then stands up on the top turnbuckle and goes for a Frog Splash! COLE Look at him fly! He…misses!!! CABOOSE Rick moved!! COACH We could have had a new champion! Rick stands up and brings Chris with him to his feet. He then grabs Rick for an Inverted Vertical Suplex and finishes off with the Diamond Cutter to complete the Superman’s Dead. COLE Superman’s Dead! COACH Again!? *Starts to cry, but then he gets better.* CABOOSE Hey Coach look at that…Batman just died too! COACH *Bawls his eyes out* 1 2 3!!! *Ding Ding Ding* MICHALE BUFFER Here’s your winner and still X-Division Champ…RICK EDWARDS!!!! *Rick looks at Buffer with a smile on his face as Buffer sits back down and crosses his arms again.* CABOOSE I think Rick has shown that he’s ready for whoever they put him up against at the PPV! COLE It seems to me that he’s trying to hide how nervous he really is! (Rick takes his X Title and walks back down the aisle holding it in the air as the fans boo. Rick turns around to taunt the fans, but he quickly looks around to make sure no one is there.) COLE We’re now going to go backstage with Miss Jackie, who has a special interview for us. CABOOSE Jeez, Cole, does anybody even care about these interviews? I mean, come on now….MISS JACKIE?! Who could she possibly be interviewing that I give a damn about. MISS JACKIE Thank you, Cole. I’m backstage here with Drek Stone… CABOOSE Drek!! FINALLY!! Amazing. Whoever invented the concept of backstage promos is a genius! *The camera now cuts to Miss Jackie standing next to a calmly smug Drek Stone. Tonight, Drek is dressed in a completely white suit. While Jackie starts to talk into the camera, Drek adjusts his white tie and slowly starts to crack his knuckles. He then slowly looks over to the side and casually glances at Jackie’s cleavage while she’s speaking. Everyone but Jackie seems to notice this rude action, but Drek doesn’t bother to give it a second thought. Once again, he just turns to the camera and lets Jackie finish her speech* JACKIE Drek, two weeks ago, you not only blindsided The Mad Cappa with brass knuckles as soon as the match began, but you made sure not to leave the ringside area until he was a bloody mess on the arena floor. Why? Why would you waste the title opportunity you were given just so you could hurt The Mad Cappa? DREK Ah, I love when broads try to give these serious, professional interviews. Honey, why don’t you try doing your research? JACKIE I……I don’t understand….. DREK Of course you don’t. Three weeks ago, I sat in that chair, looked into that camera, and poured my heart out to everyone that was glued to that television upon seeing me. The rage in my body was pulsing at full-speed, and Jackie….in case you can’t follow me here….I was still seething over the title that had been stolen from me at School’s Out. And what did I do during that interview? What did I promise, sweetcheeks? I vowed to hurt The Mad Cappa. I promised to mangle that stupid cazzone. Then, when I was done, I would take the OAOAST Puerto Rican Title home. The only question was…..WHEN I would do it. Did he want to prolong the inevitable or get it over with nice and easy? He chose nice and easy……I went the other way. JACKIE But what about your goal of taking home the Puerto Rican Title? How does injuring Cappa help you come any closer to accomplishing that? DREK Look at it this way. I never said I wanted to BEAT Cappa for the Puerto Rican Title. After that match at School’s Out, my sanity was shot. I was a defeated man. My undefeated streak in the OAOAST was finished, and it came from a guy who’s only skill was managing to fall out of a suplex. The loss haunted me, simply because I knew it never should have happened. *Drek suddenly stops his interview so he could spit a loogie onto the ground. He then starts talking again* DREK So….in order to get my sanity back again….in order to cleanse myself of those unwanted demons…..I needed to hurt Cappa. I needed to put him as in much physical pain as he put me in mental anguish. It was only fair for him to suffer the same amount I did. I accomplished that two weeks ago and now….my mind is clear again. I could breathe calmly. Take nice walks on the beach with my lovely supermodels. Just enjoy life. And now that the Mad Cappa is out of my way….I can focus on getting the Puerto Rican Title. It was never important to me to actually BEAT Cappa for the title. It was important that I get revenge on him for what he did…..then get the title any way I could. So, even if it takes him getting stripped of the title in that 30-day-rule, so be it. I’ll still get the title. I’ll still win. Simply because…..look at me……I’m just a winner in life. JACKIE So, what you’re saying is that your entire plan from the beginning was to lure… DREK Will you stop interrupting me?! Somebody needs to train troias like you in America to stay quiet once in a while. What I’m saying is that I proved myself to be the better tactician in this entire feud. And now that it’s over….now that I’ve gotten rid of those demons….gotten rid of the Mad Cappa…I can focus on getting the Puerto Rican Title. I can focus on continuing my rise to the top…..focus on…. *Suddenly, someone runs into the viewpoint of the camera and quickly tackles Drek to the ground with a vicious spear. He sits on Drek’s chest and begins to deliver violent punches to his face. The man suddenly gets off of Drek’s chest, stands up, and looks into the camera.* COACH IT’S THE MAD CAPPA!! THE MAD CAPPA IS HERE TONIGHT!! COLE What the hell is he doing here?! Drek said he was shut away, still recuperating in a hospital!! CABOOSE Bastard probably had an HMO. Of course the hospital is going to kick a thug like him out of there. HOW DARE HE INTERRUPT THIS INTERVIEW!! SOMEONE GET HIM OUT OF THERE!! *The Mad Cappa picks a stunned Drek off of the floor by his hair. He grabs Drek by the head and flings him face-first into a nearby wall!! The fans start going crazy!!* CABOOSE Come on, Cappa. Think about this! Drek has a promo shoot in GQ next week. Just CALM DOWN! *Drek tries to slump to his knees, but Cappa isn’t having any of that. He wraps his hands around Drek’s throat and begins to choke him. He suddenly lifts him by his neck and throws him back-first into yet another wall. Again, Drek falls to the floor* COACH Boose, what did I tell you? The Mad Cappa has NEVER been a pushover. He was bound to get his revenge….and he just chose not to prolong the inevitable. Just like he learned from your man, Drek. CABOOSE Did you honestly just compare Cappa to Drek? Christ, stick to something you actually know, Coach. Like hugging a sweaty Michael Cole after one of his many technical masterpieces. FIGHT BACK, DREK! *Once again, Cappa picks Drek off of the ground by his hair. However, this time, he also grabs Drek by the seat of his pants. Cappa takes a running start and HURLS Drek Stone right on top of a large pile of metal pipes. The fans once again start to loudly cheer as the booming sounds of pipes clanging against a concrete floor echo throughout the arena* COLE OH MY GOD!! The Mad Cappa literally launched Drek Stone into those metal pipes chest and face-first CABOOSE Oh, this is terrible. Somebody strip the Mad Cappa of his title immediately. We can NOT be having backstage attacks without provocation, dammit!! COLE Without provocation?! COACH Cole, don’t bother. Just…..oh god, LOOK AT THE BLOOD! *Drek starts to make a vain attempt to force himself onto his hands and knees, and the camera is able to capture a close glance of his face. He has been busted open along his forehead, and the blood has quickly started to drip down from his face onto his white suit. The shoulders on his tuxedo already are stained with crimson.* CABOOSE What a beautiful suit. And it’s all going to hell now! Is there no security guard back there willing to put the jelly donut down FOR ONE MINUTE?! *While Drek begins to slowly crawl, Cappa picks up one of the nearby metal pipes. Holding it in his hands, he has an intensely stunned look on his face. He stares at the pipe whimsically for a few seconds, then focues his attention back onto Drek. With a scowl on his face, he slowly lifts the pipe up. AND HE BRINGS IT DOWN……BUT DREK MANAGES TO ROLL OUT OF THE WAY!! The fans boo upon hearing the pipe clang against the floor. Cappa approaches Drek again, but instead gets a kick to the stomach this time. Clutching his midsection for a moment, Cappa allows the pipe to fall out of his hands. Drek quickly makes a tough struggle to get back on his feet. He grabs the pipe that Cappa dropped and swings it right into Cappa’s ribs. The fans loudly groan as both men fall back to the floor* CABOOSE Guys, do you honestly wonder why I’m fascinated with Drek Stone? Look what he’s able to do. Take a gruesome beating from The Mad Cappa…..and still have the absolute spectacular ability to knock him down with a violent pipe shot. This man….he could be the next Caboose. *After both Drek and Cappa fall to the ground, Drek starts trying to crawl away on his knees. The blood is continuing to drip from his forehead. His white suit, which was the epitome of purity only a few moments ago, has now been completely stained with crimson red along the shoulders and the chest. As he’s crawling away, Drek starts to talk to himself* DREK Cappa thought…….he could mess…….with a………with m-m-me. Nobody…….beats R-r-reckless Drek……..Stone…. *However, Drek is interrupted during this monologue with Cappa yanking Drek off the floor by his hair. He slams him into a nearby wall, then begins running down the corridor with his hand holding onto the back of Drek’s head. Finally, he releases Drek and……SENDS HIM CRASHING THROUGH A GLASS-PLATE WINDOW!! The fans EXPLODE with cheers and chants of “CAPPA! CAPPA!” CABOOSE OH MY GOD!!! COLE THE MAD CAPPA JUST SENT DREK STONE RIGHT THROUGH THAT GLASS WINDOW!! CABOOSE Where are the cops?! SOMEBODY ARREST THE MAD CAPPA!! OH GOD……DREK COULD HAVE AN UNSIGHTLY SCAR!! COACH Drek is just lying there out cold. I think the Mad Cappa finally has his revenge. CABOOSE Then WHY THE HELL IS HE PICKING DREK BACK UP?! *After staring at a lifeless Drek for a few seconds, Cappa picks Drek up off the floor and throws him over his shoulder. He starts walking down the hall and stops when he gets to a room that reads “D.O.A.: Abe Vigoda”. Cappa kicks open the door and storms in, with Drek still slung over his shoulder. Abe looks both shocked and somewhat appalled to see the bloody condition that Drek has been left in.* ABE VIGODA What the hell is this?! Cappa….what the hell did you DO?! CAPPA He bloodied me up two weeks ago. You did nothing. Well, I felt it became my job to take care of the situation myself….and that’s exactly what I did. ABE Christ…..well, put him down already, allright?! Put him down!! *Following Abe’s orders, Cappa drops Drek Stone right on top of Mr. Vigoda’s desk* CAPPA Abe….I want Drek Stone at the Great Angle Bash. ABE Definitely. It’s done. Both of you wanted this match. Both of you get it. CAPPA Oh, that’s not all. I want the match at the Bash to be….. ABE What? What do you want? CAPPA …..NO-HOLDS-BARRED! *The fans start cheering after Cappa names his desired stipulation* ABE …….Y-you know what….perfect. Both of you could beat the hell out of each other at the Bash. No rules. Nothing. You got it. Now, just leave my office before you start any more trouble. CAPPA No problem, Abe. Don’t…..don’t take this personally. It’s just something I had to do. *Before leaving the room, Cappa shoots a defiant stare at the unconscious, bloody body of Drek. The fans erupt with a chant of “CAPPA! CAPPA!” before he finally leaves the room. Afterwards, Abe also starts staring at Drek and begins to depressingly shake his head.* ABE Oh boy…..oh god…….how am I going to get this blood stain off of my desk…. *The camera focuses on the forlorn Abe and the unmoving Drek for a few more seconds before finally cutting away* (Go to break)

(Return from break) (We see Rick Edwards walking down a hallway and coming to a stop at the dressing room. He opens the door and walks in, but the lights are off.) RICK Who turned off the lights? *Rick turns on the lights and jumps* RICK What the hell are you doing here!? *The camera pans around to show…* *JUDAS!* RICK I thought you weren’t coming back? JUDAS I thought so too, but then I turn on the TV and see you making an ass of yourself. RICK Screw you! JUDAS No screw you Rick! You took me in when I had nothing even though I tried to end your career! You were my friend! RICK That hasn’t changed! I sent you money a few weeks ago when you needed it! JUDAS Yeah and thank you, but you’ve changed and you’re not the person you were when you took me in. RICK I don’t see you running around here in black tights and a mask anymore! You changed as well to separate yourself from what Father made you! Then once you finished with him you ran home to whine about life! This is who I am and you’ll just have to live with it. I’m taking charge of my life…maybe you should too. JUDAS I did take charge of my life, but I don’t walk around acting all high and mighty like you. RICK What do you call this little guilt trip you’re trying to put me on? Everyone wants me to be this hero, but I’m not a hero! You’re just like them now. You’re just like that chick who’s stalking me. JUDAS I’m here to help you and so is Leah. RICK What do you know about her!? JUDAS Leah is… *WHACK!!!!* *Christopher Cain (The Williams & Horn suit that helped Rick) appears from the shadows with a chair and nails Judas in the back of the head.* RICK Cain what the hell!? I wanted to hear what he was about to say! CAIN He just admitted to knowing Ms. Blackstone and that makes him a threat to your safety much like Ms. Blackstone herself. RICK What!? He’s my brother…sort of…and even though he’s being an ass I don’t hate him! Why are you here anyway? CAIN The Boss has assigned me to be your bodyguard since Ms. Blackstone has been stalking you. *Cain notices Judas getting up* CAIN Excuse me. *Cain spears Judas into the door and knocks it off the hinges!!! The door slams against the wall and Judas lets out a loud “ugh!” A slight cracking noise is heard upon impact.* RICK Cain!! Holy shit!!! What the hell are you doing!? *Cain stands, straightens his suit and tie, and then turns back to Rick.* CAIN He won’t bother you again. I'll be waiting in the hall if you need me. *Cain steps over Judas and leaves. Rick rushes over to Judas and looks to see if he’s alright. We cut back to the arena where the announce team sit with their mouths open.* COLE That man is insane! COACH That aint no ordinary businessman! He’s huge! CABOOSE Serves Judas right! He should have stayed at home. COACH "Well...in just a few moments, we've got more action coming up here on HeldDOWN~! Two of the young, rising stars here on HeldDOWN~! face off, with the newly returned 'Silky Smoooooth' Leon Rodez taking on the rising star Chris Bryte." COLE "Both men are twenty years old, both looking to make an impression on the people that matter..." CABOOSE "...The Thrillogy?..." COLE "Well...I actually meant the fans." CABOOSE "The fans? Phff! What do they know. Hell, they cheered YOU last week!" COLE "Hey...I WON that match!" Suddenly, "It's Goin' Down" by Linkin Park and featuring the X-ecutioners hits to raucous jeers from the crowd. The lights dim down as deep blue hue covers the arena. White strobe lights begin flashing at the entrance, and a thick smoke pours out from the locker room. Suddenly, the locker room curtains swing open and out walks Chris Bryte wearing his trademark shades...turning back to the curtain... ...as out steps... ...THE HAND~! COLE "There's that monster that nearly caved in poor Tina's skull last week!" COACH "Yeah, and look he's with him. The Hand!" COLE "That's...that's who I was referring to." CABOOSE "My god, you two suck...seriously, I can't even be subtle about it anymore." Bryte and The Hand stroll down the aisle, with Bryte jawjacking with members of the crowd...and then threatening to set The Hand on them when they reply. MICHAEL BUFFER "This contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing...accompanied to the ring by the man known ONLY...as THE HAND~! Ladies and gentlemen...this is... ChrrrRRRRRIIIISSSS... BRRRRRRRYYYYYTTEEEEE!!!" Bryte enters the ring, while The Hand remains at ringside glaring down the aisleway. CABOOSE "Well, I just hope security are off their lazy asses and keeping their eyes out for Panther tonight." COACH "I'm sure Bryte is too!" Leaning up against the ropes and watching the aisleway too, Bryte ignores the many 'BRYTE SUCKS!' chants ringing through the air and smiles smugly. The Hand meanwhile looks intimidating. And...that's about it. Apart from stroking his fist a couple of times. Intimidatingly. Suddenly, "My Hero" by The Foo Fighters strikes up and the theatrically red-robed Leon Rodez steps out from the back. The crowd are much happier to see Rodez than Bryte obviously, especially the females who are picked out by the camera. BUFFER "And the opponent. Hailing from Grand Rapids Michigan...and weighing one hundred and ninety eight pounds. He is SIIIILKY SMOOOOOOOTH... LlllleeEEEEEEEOOOOONNN... RRROOOOOODEEEEEEZZZ!!!" Rodez continues walking down the aisle and tagging the hands of the fans. Glad to be back, Leon has a wide grin on his face...until that is he gets to ringside, to be confronted by The Hand standing in his way. Leon throws his hands up, saying he's 'cool' before stepping to the side of The Hand and rolling into the ring. Throwing his arms into the air to a pop from the crowd, Rodez starts to remove his robe... ...but gets nailed from behind by a kick from Bryte! *DING DING DING!* COLE "What a cheap-shot! Bryte kicked Rodez before the bell had even rung!" CABOOSE "Nothing wrong with that..." Another kick connects and Rodez drops to his knees. Bryte quickly backs up a step and holds his hands to the crowd, before firing forward with a STIFF spinal tap kick. Wailing out in pain, Leon scampers to the ropes as the referee steps in and moves Bryte back. Off comes the robe finally from Rodez, as he favours his back and pulls himself to his feet. Bryte pushes away from the referee and strolls across the ring... SMACK! ...and gets slapped by Rodez! Clearly dazed, Bryte staggers back a step as Rodez lines him up for a roundhouse kick. Bryte is able to duck though, sending a confused Rodez flailing forward. Quickly Chris runs to the ropes and comes back with a Yakuza Kick, but Rodez ducks and Bryte is left to stagger forward. Slowly he regains his bearings and turns around, but gets nailed with a clothesline by Leon as he does! COACH "BAM! He nailed him with that one." Bryte is quickly up, but dazed. Staggering around, Bryte swings with a few wild punches which hit nothing but thin air. Rodez meanwhile just stands back and laughs at Bryte, the crowd joining in on the laughter. Slowly Chris stops swinging and realises where he is...also realising that he's being laughed at, and not reacting too kindly too it. Snarling at Rodez, who is still chuckling away, Bryte charges in but gets caught with a drop-toe-hold! Quickly Bryte rolls out of the ring, holding his jaw as Rodez holds his hands in the air. COLE "Rodez just out-smarted Chris Bryte!" CABOOSE "Ah, he did not! He just got lucky!" Angrily Bryte kicks out at the air, as The Hand watches on from across the ring emotionless. Rodez meanwhile dares Chris to get back into the ring. Bryte quickly does so and swings with a quick kick. Leon is able to catch the flying leg though, barring it up before sweeping out Chris' standing leg to send him crashing to the mat. Bryte tries to kick out with that leg, but Leon blocks with his knee and turns Bryte over, sitting across his knee with the Seated Half Boston Crab! Realising he's in trouble, Chris scrambles forwards quickly and makes the ropes before Rodez can really get the hold in. Once at the ropes Leon breaks, and Bryte promptly rolls out of the ring again. "WE WANT PANTHER! WE WANT PANTHER! WE WANT PANTHER!" The crowd get on Bryte's back, as he again starts to curse his luck. COACH "Rodez is lookin' good tonight, obviously taking heart from his performance last week." CABOOSE "How? He lost." COLE "He nearly won the X-Division Title Caboose." CABOOSE "Do I look like I care? He doesn't have the belt. That's all that matters." COLE "...you're so negative." Bryte orders the referee to move Rodez back, which he does as Bryte rolls back in and backs himself into the corner. With a smile, Leon invites Bryte on again. But this time Chris is more controlled, taking his time in walking out of the corner and away from Rodez. "BRYTE SUCKS! BRYTE SUCKS! BRYTE SUCKS!" The rowdy crowd continue to get on poor Chris' case, as both he and Rodez walk into the centre of the ring. Bryte starts to talk smack to Rodez, which doesn't phase him in the slightest. A stiff kick to the thigh does though, dropping Rodes to a knee. Quickly Bryte swings with another kick to the thigh before aiming one at the head of 'Silky Smooth'... ...which he ducks, catching Bryte with a schoolboy rollup... ONE! TWO! Kickout. Scrambling up, Bryte charges at Rodez but gets whipped on to the ropes. Bryte comes back with a clothesline to knock down Rodez, before hitting the adjacent ropes. Leon fakes getting up and drops down, with Chris forced to leap over him and continue on into the opposite ropes. Back up gets Rodez, leapfrogging Bryte as he comes back and holding out an arm ready for Bryte. But he sees it coming, hooking the ropes to stop himself. Quickly Leon runs in... SMACK! ...taking a STIFF kick to the jaw! Groggily Leon slumps to the mat, as Bryte makes a cover... ONE! TWO! NO! COLE "There's an example of those dangerous kicks of Chris Bryte..." Before Rodez can get up, Bryte kicks him in the chest. Another kick connects, before Bryte backs up and mugs for the booing crowd. CABOOSE "Ah, listen to that. These guys love Chris Bryte." COACH "I've heard that the feeling's mutual." CABOOSE "What?" COACH "Bryte loves guys." CABOOSE "...that's real mature Johnny." Rodez pulls himself up on the ropes, taking a stiff kick to the ribs from Bryte. Another kick connects moments later, before Leon fires back with a European uppercut! A knee from Bryte stops Leon in his tracks though, before irish whipping him across the ring. Rodez rebounds as Bryte tumbles forward, catching him in the head with a rolling Koppu kick! Bryte makes the cover... ONE! TWO! Kickout! COLE "Rodez looks dazed here..." CABOOSE "Of course he does! He just got kicked in the head by Chris Bryte! That'd daze anyone." Up clambers Bryte, taking his time about lining up Rodez and kicking him hard in the head. But Leon gallantly pulls himself up moments later, so Bryte backs off the ropes again. Rodez staggers around, as Bryte comes back and connects with a spinning roundhouse kick. The impact sends Leon tumbling across the ring and into the ropes. Chris meanwhile stops in his tracks, taking the opportunity to flash another smug smile the crowd's way. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Rodez begins to pull himself on the ropes, as Chris charges in and drives a knee up into the gut. Leon almost falls out of the ring, but manages to stay on his feet as Bryte pulls him out from the ropes. Swinging with a chop, Bryte measures it too much, allowing Leon to duck and catch a dropkick from out of nowhere, sending Chris flying out of the ring! CABOOSE "WOAH! Come on Chris! Get it together!" Landing right beside The Hand, Bryte pulls himself up as Rodez stumbles over, ready to dive out onto Bryta. But The Hand sees it, and steps in front of Bryte to protect him! COLE "Oh, come on! That huge individual stepping in the way...saving Bryte's ass." COACH "Well...that is his job." CABOOSE "No it's not. His job is to PROTECT Bryte." COLE "Same difference." Angrily, Leon gives up on any thoughts of a death defying dive. Bryte meanwhile staggers out from behind The Hand, and slowly rolls back into the ring. Storming in, Leon looks to take out some frustration. But Chris is able to jam a knee into the ribs, and send Leon quickly into the turnbuckles... SMACK! "WHOOOO!" ...before firing a knifedge chop. Leon tries to shake off the pain, as Bryte swings again... SMACK! "WHOOOO!" ...hitting a second chop! Grabbing Rodez, Bryte looks to irish whip him across to the opposite corner. Rodez puts the brakes on and pulls Bryte into his clutches, but Chris is able to counter with a running DDT! Rodez's head bounces off the mat, as Chris turns him over and makes a cocky cover... ONE! TWO! NO! COLE "Leon Rodez with the kickout. We saw last week that this kid has a lot of guts." Undettered, Bryte drags Rodez up again and drives in a series of forearms to the head. Rodez is now looking stunned by the offense he's receiving, dropping to one knee. Bryte viciously kicks him underneath the jaw before following up with a kick to the ribs. Quickly he hooks Leon up, and takes him over with a nice northern lights suplex with a bridge... ONE! T... ...Bryte pushes off his feet, rolling through and pulling Leon back up. Leon doesn't have a clue where he is, as Bryte takes a moment to steady himself before hitting a second northern lights suplex... ONE! TWO! NO! This time Bryte wanted the pin, turning to the ref and questioning the count. COACH "I think Bryte thought he'd have an easy time of things tonight. But that's not how it's going so far." CABOOSE "He's still in control though." The referee is unwavering, so Bryte gets back up and drops a knee to the forehead of Leon. The Hand continues to watch on from the outside, as Bryte drags Rodez up. Suddenly, Rodez swings out with a right hand that connects and rocks Bryte. It's not enough to knock him down though, and Bryte is quick to fire back with a mafia kick... ...which Rodez ducks, before nailing a desperation spinkick! Through exhaustion Leon drops to his hands and knees, while Bryte is able to regroup quickly. Hooking on a front facelock, Chris drives a set of knees into the jaw to try and quell Rodez. But there's still plenty of fight in Leon, as he charges forward and crushes Bryte in the corner! "LEON! LEON! LEON!" The crowd start to get behind the ladies' favourite, as he rams some weakened shoulder into the gut of Bryte. Bryte simply raises a knee to the jaw to stop Rodez. Staggering backwards, Leon holds his jaw in pain as Bryte charges out of the corner. In desperaton, Leon tries to backdrop the on-rushing Bryte, but Chris spins through in mid-air and locks Rodez into a dragon sleeper! COLE "Dragon Sleeper! Great move by Bryte, and he may have Rodez beat here!" Frantically Rodez tries to escape, but Chris already has the hold locked in tightly. Leon knows he's in trouble and starts to twist and turn to try and escape. It doesn't look to be working though. Bryte is now smiling, as he wrenches back on the head of Rodez. CABOOSE "Rodez is goin' out here! It looks like Chris has done it again." COLE "Don't count Rodez out here Caboose." CABOOSE "Too late. As far as I'm concerned, he's ready to go to sleep." Caboose may be...shock horror...right, as Rodez is seemingly going limp. His arms drop to his side and he's no longer squirming for an escape. Seeing this, the ref steps in and grabs hold of Leon's right arm, holding it dramatically in the air... ...and dropping it. "ONE!" Still Rodez shows no signs of responce, so the ref raises the arm a second time... ...and drops it. "TWO!" COACH "That's two. Will the arm drop a third time here?" Chris Bryte seems to think so, nodding his head towards The Hand. The referee meanwhile moves around and checks to see if Rodez is even conscious...before once more lifting his limp arm into the air... ...and dropping it... ...halfway, before it shoots right back up! "YEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE "Leon Rodez is still in this match!" Finding a second wind, Rodez again tries to squirm free from Bryte's grasp. That still doesn't look to be working, so he decides to give up on that and kick out his legs. Bryte hangs on, as Rodez kicks out his legs again, still unable to get free but moving closer to the ropes. Desperately Bryte drives a couple of headbutts to the chest of Rodez. But Leon kicks out his legs again...this time pushing off the ropes, and flipping back into a pinning combination... ONE! TWO! NO! Bryte scrambles back up and grabs Rodez by the hair, throwing him into the corner. Charging in after him, Bryte looks to hit a forearm but runs straight into a boot from Rodez! Staggering out, Bryte proves stubborn as a mule as he charges back in...and takes a second boot! This time he isn't charging anywhere, struggling to stay on his feet. This gives Rodez the opportunity to push himself up to the middle rope, and dive off with a missle dropkick! COACH "I think Rodez has got a second wind here. He's feeding off of these women in the crowd." CABOOSE "And the one sitting next to me, eh Cole?" Bryte rolls across the ring, landing on his knees with no clue as to where he is. Meanwhile Leon shakes out the codwebs and runs off the ropes... ...but gets clipped by The Hand! COLE "HEY! That monsterous Hand just grabbed Rodez by the leg!" CABOOSE "I didn't see it..." COLE "Well, that's not a surprise now, is it?" Angrily Rodez turns around and kicks out at The Hand, missing but causing him to back up a little. Turning back around though, Rodez takes a boot to the gut from the recovered Bryte. Turning his back to Rodez, Bryte quickly locks up the arms of 'Silky Smooth' and turns him over ready for The Bryte Side. He's able to lift Rodez up for it, but Leon knows what's coming and flips out the back. Bryte looks around in confusion, as Leon quickly hooks and drives him with a diving reverse DDT, and makes the cover... ONE! TWO! SHOULDER UP! Now it's Leon who is left to question the count. Bryte slowly drags himself to his feet, as does Rodez who reacts first with a right hand. Bryte swings with a right of his own. Rodez retaliates with a right. Bryte hits a right. And the slugfest continues, with both men exchanging punches. Eventually Rodez is able to duck a punch though and take Bryte up into a fireman's carry position... ...but Chris slides out the back, and pushes Rodez sternum first into the turnbuckles! CABOOSE "Yeah! Don't count Chris Bryte out!" Rodez staggers back, into a waistlock from Bryte. But Rodez is able to elbow his way out of a german suplex attempt though, before scooting behind Bryte. Bryte swings out with an elbow which is ducked by Rodez, causes Bryte to spin around into position for Rodez to set-up the Road-ez to Nowhere. Before he can get Bryte hooked up though, Chris makes himself dead-weight and drops to his knees. Leon promptly gives up on that, and takes Bryte over with a La Mahistral... ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Bryte pulls himself up and gets nailed with a backhanded strike...staggering into and quickly back out of the corner. He still has enough to swing with a back kick, but Rodez harmlessly ducks and waits for Bryte to turn around. Slowly he does... SMACK! ...and gets nailed with a shining wizard! Rodez makes the pin... ONE! TWO! SHOULDER UP! COLE "Two again! Leon Rodez has Chris Bryte on the back-foot!" Indeed he does, as the groggy Bryte begins to back away from Rodez, who is swinging with some more right hands. A big kick connects however to the shoulder, stopping Leon. Grabbing 'Silky Smooth', Bryte looks for an irish whip but it's reversed, sending him into the ropes. Chris is able to stop himself though, and handspring into the ropes, coming back with the handspring elbow... SMACK! ...BUT GETTING SUPERKICKED IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD! COACH "OH! Rodez caught him with a kick!" COLE "What a counter!" Bryte crashes forward by the ropes, as Rodez dives in and makes a cover... ONE! TWO! ...NO! The Hand puts Bryte's foot on the ropes! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COLE "This is ridiculous! That supposed bodyguard is just doing Chris Bryte's cheating for him!" CABOOSE "What can I say? He's bored." COLE "How is that an excuse?" CABOOSE "I dunno. It's enough of an excuse for me!" Even if the referee doesn't, Rodez realises what went down and angrily gets up, yelling at The Hand from over the ropes. Meanwhile, Bryte is getting slowly back to his feet and nails Rodez from behind! Rebounding off the ropes, Leon staggers around and falls into Bryte's arms for a forearm strike. Rodez wobbles, as Bryte scoops Rodez up into the air and looks to elevate him up for the Bryte Out... ...but Rodez escapes over the back, and rolls Bryte up... ONE! TWO! THE HAND TRIES TO SAVE... THREE! "YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" *DING DING DING!* COLE "YES! HE DID IT!" CABOOSE "What!?! NO!" Rodez has the win and begins to celebrate, as The Hand rolls into the ring, positively fuming at the result. BUFFER "Here is your winner...LEON ROOOOODDDEEEEZZZ!!!" Rodez turns around with his arms in the air... SMACK! ...AND GETS NAILED WITH A YAKUZA KICK BY THE HAND! COLE "Oh no! This behemoth has snapped!" CABOOSE "And he's about to snap Leon Rodez in half!" Rodez goes flying out of the ring, as The Hand rolls right out after him. On the floor, The Hand stalks Rodez and punches him hard in the gut, sending Rodez toppling to the floor, where The Hand quickly locks on a chokehold. Meanwhile, Bryte is up in the ring, arguing with the referee...who suddenly flees from the ring. Bryte looks confused, as he turns and suddenly gets speared to the mat... ...BY PANTHER! "YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE "PANTHER'S HERE! PANTHER IS IN THE RING!" The crowd are going absolutely nuts, as Panther mounts Bryte and pounds away with some furious punches to the forehead. The Hand meanwhile is too busy choking out Rodez that he doesn't notice the commotion. CABOOSE "HEY...err... HAND... THE...HAND GUY... HELP CHRIS!" COACH "Wait, here comes security!" Security has by now been alerted, and they storm the ring to grab Panther. Physically grabbing him by the arms, the vast numbers of security drag Panther off of Bryte who looks to be out cold. And for all his kicking and clawing, Panther can't get away and is slowly dragged away. Meanwhile, The Hand has finally seen what's going on and rolls into the ring to check on Bryte. COLE "This issue between Panther and Chris Bryte is FAR from over!" CABOOSE "Well, it would be if security didn't keep letting Panther into the arenas. He doesn't work here! He shouldn't even be allowed within fifty feet of the arena!" COLE "Well we need to take a break while this chaos is sorted out. Stay tuned to HeldDOWN~! folks, because there's more action on it's way..." (Go to break)

(Back to the arena) Cue: "Hit Me Baby One More Time" BUFFER Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is set for one fall. Introducing first, accompanied by the Devilman, JINGUS, he hails from the Edge of Reason, weighing in at three hundred, sixty eight pounds, he is the man they call THE SADIST! COLE Well, we have another strange addition to the HeldDown roster, and he's set for his debut match right now! COACH These two freaks will be challenging Black T for the OAOAST Tag Team Championship in just a few weeks...you have to think Tony and Dan will be watching this one closely. The huge duo reach the ring. The Devilman PUNCHES Sadist in the face, getting him worked up. CABOOSE Is there some kind of..er.."special" relationship between these two? COLE What are you implying? CABOOSE Well, Sadist seems to be getting off on JINGUS's punch there... COACH I dont think its specific to Big J. This guy loves pain no matter what the source! BUFFER Aaaand his opponent, already in the ring, OAOAST enhancement talent- John "Bradshaw" Layfield! Bradshaw starts to raise his arm- and the referee grabs it down swiftly. DING DING DING COLE Ok, Bradshaw vs The Sadist. A man who enjoys pain vs. a man who enjoys dishing it out! CABOOSE Yeah, in the showers. COACH That's a lie! Bradshaw never raped me! CABOOSE You enjoyed it? COLE Well he is kinda handsome. COACH And rich. COLE Word. In the ring, The 6'9 Sadist looks at Bradshaw and grins disturbingly. JBL runs the ropes and delivers THE CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL!! Sadist stands his ground, and actually looks a little disappointed. COLE I think he was hoping for more pain than that. Bradshaw runs the ropes again and charges with a big boot, but Sadist just catches his leg, grabs him by the throat and delivers a CHOKE BOMB! Sadist scrapes JBL off the mat and gives him a release German suplex- into the corner turnbuckles! Bradshaw's head snaps back and he's out cold on the mat. Sadist drags him into the middle of the ring and then climbs to the top rope, jumping off with a DIVING ELBOW TO THE THROAT! COLE HIS LARYNX! Cover: ONE! TWO! THREE! BUFFER The winner of the match- the SADIST! Sadist grins again. JINGUS enters the ring and gives him a hard forearm shot. COLE Aww, he just rewarded his friend! How sweet. Cue: "Quiet" With little other fanfare, Dan Black, T.Bod and the Farmer of Champions, Jivin' Jim Ross, appear on the stage. Dan has a mic as the music cuts. BLACK My god, what a disgusting exhibition. You people should be in some freak show, not disgracing the OAOAST with this! T.BOD JINGUS, you might think your new partner is tough. But Black T is also tough. And we have a manager who also loves pain. Isn't that right, Jim? JR Bah gawd, youre right Tony! I love p-what? No, I don't love pain! Chicken! I love fried chicken! And BBQ sauce! And HOSSES! BLACK No, JR, you love pain. *Dan strikes JR about the head and neck a few times. JR cowers* BLACK See? He can't get enough. Tony? *T.Bod kicks JR in the groin* T.BOD There you go, Jim. Enjoy. BLACK In case you havnt got the message, boys- we're the tag team champions. We'll do anything to anyone to keep our belts. You guys are big, sure, you look strong. But do you want these titles? Do you really need them? Think about it. *JR is staggering up. Dan gives him the BLACK OUT stunner, and Black T leave JR out cold* COLE Wow, Black T sending out a message to the challengers. They beat up their own manager to show the lengths they'll go to to keep the tag titles! COACH Poor JR. He should quit Black T! CABOOSE Yeah right, and miss out on all the money and women? JR's going no where. COLE We'll be right back, once someone moves JR's carcass off the ramp. (Go to break) (Return from break) The crowd is buzzing as HeldDOWN~! returns from commercial, and the cheers and conversations of the fans are quickly overwhelmed by the booming sound system, as "Nothing" is cued up, and the OAOAST World Champion, Zack Malibu, makes his way out along with Candie. COACH Hehe, yo, Michael. Isn't that the chumpette you pinned last week? COLE Why yes, yes it is. CABOOSE Gloating over pinning someone as effeminate as yourself? I never thought I'd see the day. Walking through their sparkling pyro display, the OAOAST hottest couple head for the ring, much to everyone's dismay. Malibu, wearing sunglasses and clad in baggy jeans and a dark blue button down shirt, stops before he enters to show off his preppiness to the crowd, not winning over any new fans with his cockiness. COLE Malibu should gloat all he wants now, but he may not look as good as he thinks he does after War Games. Zack and Candie enter the ring, and Malibu waves for Michael Buffer to hand over the microphone, which the famed ring announcer does without incident. Before Zack can speak, a chant comes up from the crowd that is a reminder of the embarrassment that Zack and Candie faced last week. "MICHAEL COLE! MICHAEL COLE!" CABOOSE You've GOT to be kidding me. COACH That's right people! Holla at ya boy! Malibu and Candie just scowl, and slowly turn their heads to face Sofa Central. They walk over near the ropes, with Malibu just glaring down at his former confidant, and Candie offering some choice words that can (luckily) barely be heard by anyone watching. Zack pulls her away, and returns to center ring, now ready to speak. MALIBU It's funny how much you people dwell on the past, when the future isn't looking too bright for all your favorites. It's funny that you think you're clever cheering for a glorified gofer, a coffee boy with a microphone, when in reality you should be cheering for the man who made it possible for all of you to be here tonight. When are you people going to realize that without Zack Malibu THERE IS NO OAOAST!? *crowd boos* MALIBU Go on, boo me. You can hate me, because I really don't care. You're only hurting yourselves in the long run, because this lack of respect has not gone unnoticed. I am the World Champion, dammit. I have done more for this company than you know! Merchandising, ratings, behind the scenes...I did it all, and what did I get? Not even so much as a pat on the back. You people wonder why I stopped acting like I gave a damn about you, but can't face the fact that you're a major contributor to my actions. You've MADE me do this! You've gotten your heroes into grave danger because of this, because now, this month, we go to war. The Thrillogy is going to arrive at The Great Angle Bash to take part in a match where we have a major advantage. A match that I, that's right, I won one year ago. A match where solidarity is key. Team unity is a must, and looking at Crystal, Sly Sommers, and AJ Flaire, I don't see it. The Thrillogy, meanwhile, we've got unity. We've got solidarity. We've got the talent, the drive, the determination, the will to win! It's like the Three Musketeers, with a one for all, all for one mentality. None of us are about to let Crystal, Sly, or AJ get one over on us. We're not about to let the Era of the Elite come to an abrupt halt from one of those never-was'. Then I hear people say "Well, you don't know who the fourth member is, Zack. It could be anyone!", and they're right. It could be. But that's not an advantage to them, because The Thrillogy also holds that card, and we'll play it when we see fit. It could be tonight, it could be next week, it could be thirty seconds before that person enters the cage at War Games, but the fact remains, the odds are still even. An old saying states that "what you don't know won't hurt you", and that's true, because once Crystal, Sly, or AJ Flaire find out what's in store at the GAB, once they find out who our fourth teammate is, they're going to feel hurt. They're going to feel pain. They're going to wish that their paths never crossed mine, Calvin's, or Hoff's. Crystal is going to wish that she never got that ego-trip where she thought she could hang with me, because I guarantee you, at the Great Angle Bash, I... "Set It Off" cuts off Zack in mid sentence, killing his train of thought as well as his promo. With a dirty look he eyes the entrance way, and watches as the Female Phenom, Crystal, comes walking down the ramp to an enormous pop! COLE The Female Phenom is in the house! CABOOSE If she were in my house she'd stay in the kitchen where she belonged. Not wasting anytime in confronting her rival, Crystal jumps up onto the apron and steps through the ropes. Seeing that she's holding a mic, Zack rolls his eyes and steps back, making sure to protect Candie in case Crystal gets any ideas. CRYSTAL I'M the one on an ego-trip? I think you need to look in the mirror again Zack. Look a little deeper, past that gelled hair and cocky smirk. The qualities of a champion are more than the superficial ones that you think make you God. A REAL champion will take on anyone at any time, and not set up matches with inexperienced opponents just for kicks. A REAL champion doesn't have to be America's Next Top Model... MALIBU Oh honey, it's so nice to see you coming to terms with your looks. CRYSTAL I meant you, you Barbie doll. COACH Haha! My baby's beautiful and she knowns it. CABOOSE No wonder they say love is blind. Malibu does a double take, but Crystal starts talking before he can. CRYSTAL Look Zack, this isn't a homecoming king and queen ballot. I mean, sure, some of the ladies might think you're attractive... *polite applause, but mostly boos for the heel champion, who sneers at his detractors* CRYSTAL ...and some guys might think I'm pretty hot... *LOUD pop. Coach hollers "right here" and can be seen waving his arms frantically in the background, over at Sofa Central.* CRYSTAL ...but a true champion, like you claim to be, would not get a cheap win and then shy away from his contender. A true champion would not go toe to toe with someone, nearly suffering defeat, and then shy away from any further challenge. A true champion would fight to the finish, giving it their best, and not have to rely on a cheapshot with a foreign object to play into the decision. MALIBU What are you getting at, Chrissy? CRYSTAL What I'm saying Zack is that you WERE a true champion once, but that's not the case anymore. I'm saying that you're too quick to take the cowards way out, and at War Games, that's not going to happen, because you'll be locked in a cage with the rest of us, and I'm going to make sure that you don't walk out of that building without getting what's coming to you. MALIBU Ooooh, I'm shaking, Chrissy. You intimidate me, you really do. CRYSTAL Go ahead and laugh, Zack. Mock me all you want. The fact is I had you beat at School's Out. I took everything you had and more, and you had to put me down with a beltshot to keep me from kicking out. If you didn't bash me across the head with it, it'd be around MY waist! *crowd pop* MALIBU Wishful thinking, girlfriend? CRYSTAL Wishful? I don't wish for anything Zack, other than to get my hands on you again. In fact, why wait until War Games? If you're such a man, such a champion, why don't we just clear the air once and for all right now? MALIBU You know Crystal, you've read my mind! You want me, tonight? Well then let me be the first to say that you can have me. Candie, please get out of the ring, I've got business to tend to. The crowd roars, as Malibu starts to unbutton his shirt, laughing at Crystal's request to take him on. The crowd roars turn to warning yells, as Zack provides the distraction to Crystal so she can't see Calvin Szechstein darting down the aisle...ONLY TO BE TACKLED FROM BEHIND BY SLY SOMMERS! COLE Sly with the quick save! Crystal turns to see what the commotion was all about, and Zack strikes, going for her...but walking right into punches from Crystal! Sly and Calvin battle it out in the aisle while Crystal backs Zack into the ropes, sending him in and catching him on the rebound with a powerslam! With Zack laid out, Crystal looks around her, and then runs to the ropes, jumping up for Diamond In The Rough, but Malibu rolls under her...so she lands on her feet! Zack gets up, dazed from the attack...and promptly gets sent over the top rope by a Crystal clothesline! COLE It has broken down here tonight! Crystal urges Zack on, while Sly enters the ring, having taken care of Calvin on the floor. Crystal and Sly just eye each other, still not comfortable with being on the same side, but willing to back each other up. Candie helps Zack to his feet and screams at Crystal, then the two go and help Calvin up. Meanwhile back in the ring, Sly Sommers picks up the mic. SLY Hey, Zack, Calvin. Crystal's got a point. No need for us to wait to get our hands on The Thrillogy. Now that the odds are a little even, what say our fearless leader, the World Champion, and his errand boy take on the Sly Guy and The Female Phenom tonight? The crowd explodes with approval. Zack and Calvin start to charge the ring, but are talked out of it by Candie. SLY Looks like it's a done deal. We'll see you boys out here later on...even you Candie! Candie turns around, wild eyed, and SHE starts to charge the ring, but is pulled back by Zack. CABOOSE Sophmoric humor at it's finest. COACH This is gonna be huge! CABOOSE I hope to God you're not talking about any of your body parts. COLE Sly Sommers again endears himself to the crowd and to Crystal by making the save, and we've got a hell of a tag match set for the main event. We'll be back with more action after this time out! (Go to break) (Return from break) The lights turn off. The entranceway illuminates with red, blue, green, yellow and orange spotlights, as the opening notes to Eddie Murphy's classic '80s single "Party All the Time" blares through the speakers. Accompanied by his fellow Saint, Synth Esizer, Logan "Cowabunga" Mann confidently struts towards the ring. Once in the ring, he cooly takes off his leather jacket and sunglasses, which he teases throwing into the crowd before shaking his head, and with a smirk on his face, mouths "Look. But don't touch." COACH No pryo? CABOOSE Haven't you ever heard of showmanship? They're saving it for the P-P-V, where they'll probably do the J-O-B, while you'll be giving an S-T-D to Cole. After that homoerotic comment, the camera pans around the arena, where out of nowhere, an ELEPHANT sticks its head out and cries out -- or whatever the hell a screaming elephant does. Subtitle: "We don't support gay marriage! Vote Bush! George W. Bush, not--not a women's bush. But take that over a man's pubes." COLE The Saints made quite an impression by attacking the Global Party Xchange three weeks ago on HeldDown. Then last week GPX returned the favor by jumping The Saints as they arrived to the arena, leaving the Heavenly Rockers in a pool of blood. As many so-called "experts" have pointed out, the tag team division has really become a focus point to many men trying to make a name for themselves. With the New New Midnight Express coming, and already filled with such teams as The Saints, GPX, whenever they feel like it, Thrillogy, and of course, the OAOAST Tag Team Champions themselves, Black T, the tag divison is no longer dangling by a hair. CABOOSE And who can we think for thank? You got it -- Black T. If it wasn't for them saving that disgrace of a division, none of those teams you'd mention would be around today. Black T is the OAOAST's Jackie Robinson. Breaking down the barriers. COACH Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! You're comparing Black T to Jackie F'N Robinson? I'm offended. CABOOSE Black T equal Jackie Robinson! Black T equal Robinson! Black T equal Jackie Robinson! COACH Shut up! Aah! Coach drops his headset. COLE Coach? Where you going? I guess it's a two man show now, 'Boose. CABOOSE Do you realize I'm the closest thing to a caboose you're ever gettin' close today? COLE Does that--Does that mean I can touch you? CABOOSE Say it one more time and see what happens. COLE Can I touch-- The sound of Cole's head smacking the floor is heard. CABOOSE I'm your host for the foreseeable future, Caboose. And yes, I am the first-ever 2-time OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion. And yes, I hate you. In a world full of posers, phonies, and pure wannabees, there finally emerges a group which has come to set the record straight. so, all you suckers better recognize, ya heard can you say uhhh na na na na... The heavy beat kicks in, the lights flicker and Static (wearing a retro Spud Webb Atlanta Hawks jersey) and Jackson appear onstage, rockin' their heads to the beat and showcasing their dancing skills. Or as the kiddies say, bustin' out killa dance skillz. OAOAST HeldDOWN! Logan "Cowabunga" Mann vs. Scotty Static CABOOSE Apparently Logan has a date -- not surprising, since he's a babe magnet -- as he wastes no time going after Scotty Static. But the tag team version of Zack rocks Mann with clubbering -- God, I sound like J.R. -- right hands. Mann's getting pounded but he looks great in the process. Logan gets tossed into the ring. Scotty leaps to the apron, facing the cheering crowd, and nails Logan with a springboard clothesline. 1...2...Logan gets his shoulder up. Static bounces off the ropes, an effort to take Logan down with a clothesline fails as Mann ducked and connect with a clothesline of his own. Bodyslam, followed by a kneedrop into Scotty's forehead. Logan gets high in the air for an elbow drop, but Scotty moves out of the way -- giving Logan a crash landing. Using the ropes for momentum, Static connects with a summersault splash. Logan belts out a yell like no other. He must've had the air knocked out of him. 1...2...Logan barely, just barely gets his shoulder up. Scotty comes off the top with a crossbody block, but the impact is so blunt Logan ends up being the one on top. Instead of going for the cover Logan sees its best to jab a thumb into Static's throat, who rolls around in pain, as the shot momentarily cuts off his air passage. Arrogantly, Mann struts around the his fallen opponent while looking at Johnny "Jam" Jackson, telling him "it'll be worse at the Bash." Refering to their tag team match, Sunday night, June 30 at the third Great Angle Bash. Synth tosses Logan a microphone. LOGAN Ladies and gentlemen, seeing how I have this match totally under control, here's a sample of what you'd hear on one of The Saints' lastest CD "Rockin' With the 'Birds." Synth, if you'd provide the beat. Channeling Michael Winslow (of "Police Academy" fame), Snyth provides a rap beat. LOGAN (singing) Yeah, you know we're The Saints, angelic and bad asses, but whatcha didn't know is that we never skipped classes. Rockin' 'n' rollin' through high school, bangin' all the hotties, asking 'em to "Suck Me, Fuck Me, Make it Ooze!" CABOOSE Juile Andrews, eat your heart out! I can't believe The Saints would give us the pleasure of hearing pieces of their hit-single "Suck Me, Fuck Me, Make it Ooze." I already own all their CDs, but after listening to that, I'm gonna buy some more. With dance moves that look like the bastard stepchild of N'SYNC, The Backstreet Boys and 98 Degrees combined, Logan moonwalks...right into a SCHOOL BOY. 1... 2... 3! Synth jumps into the ring. Logan is stunned. The referee raises Scotty's hand. BUFFER The winner, Scotty Static! CABOOSE Mann got jobbed! Horrible sportsmanship by Scotty Static. Logan had put on an impromtu concert, and that loser has the blueballs to disrupt a wonderful performance by Logan Mann. Snyth sends Johnny down with a forearm shot. The referee goes down thanks to a left hook by Logan. Then him & Synth work over Scotty. The Saints set Scotty up for Percussion (DDT). WHAM! Logan motions Snyth to the top. Static is placed between Mann's theighs. Up he goes. No, JJ knocks Synth off the top! Stunned, Logan ends up getting backdropped. Together GPX send Logan through the ropes with a DOUBLE TEAM DROPKICK! Now GPX do their own double team attack, sending Synth up-and-down with a double team backdrop. GPX pump their fist as the chants of "PARTY! PARTY! PARTY!" get louder. CABOOSE We gotta take a break. Not only have we had an impromtu concert; now we have an impromtu match between Synth & JJ. All we need is a ref, and I've been told through my earpiece one is on the way. The two jerk-offs not named Scotty Static and Johnny Jackson, i.e. Michael Cole & Coach seem fine now, so they may join us when we return. Parental discreation is strongly advised. OAOAST HeldDOWN! Synth Esizer vs. Johnny "Jam" Jackson Who'll be playing the blues? Find out after this quick T.O. to P.I.S.S. NEXT... We return from break to see a sweaty Johnny exchanging punches with Synth. . COLE Welcome back, fans. Since we went to break some noteworthy news has happened -- Logan & Scotty were ejected from ringside. As you would think, both of them weren't thrilled with the referee's decision. Slience. CABOOSE Oh, wait...was I supposed to say somethin'? You know, the face announcer says somethin', the heel makes him look like a fool? JJ begins taking control until Synth nails him with a forearm to the midsection. Snyth asks the referee how much time is left, once the ref turns his back, Synth kicks JJ between the legs, then bodyslams him near the turnbuckle. Snyth climbs to the second rope, facing the crowd, he jumps off and connects with a Vader Bomb. 1... 2... Kickout. On his knees, Snyth gently lifts up Jackson's head and delivers 5 punches right between the eyes. Noticing the cameraman on the ring apron, Esizer lets out his trademark "yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!" Synth decides to go back to the top, but JJ catches him and slams him to the mat. JJ acknowledges the chants of "Johnny" as he repeatedly takes Synth down with dropkicks. JJ attempts another dropkick, but Synth swats him away. He hooks JJ's head and lifts him up for a suplex -- JJ manages to flip behind him and nails a FULL NELSON SLAM. 1... 2... NO! The crowd sighs in disbelief. JJ gets thumbed in the eye. Synth singles for Percussion (DDT). JJ's head is placed under SE's arm... Jackson delivers a pair of forearm shots, just enough to break SE's grip. He whips him to the ropes, Flair-Flop, Synth comes off top and gets caught with a SWINGING BEARHUG, followed by URANGE (Rock Bottom)...NO, Synth countered it with PERCUSSION (DDT)! 1... 2... 3... * DING DING DING * BUFFER The winner of the match, representing The Saints, Synth Esizer! COLE What a finish! It went back and forth until Synth was able to use Percussion, and as they say, "that's all folks." Johnny has nothing to be ashamed of, he put up one helluva effort, but tonight Synth Esizer was able to keep him down for those 3 seconds. A few rules were broken, but overall it was as clean as its going to get. "Party All the Time" cues up. Logan comes out from backstage to help his partner to the back. Moments after Logan returned ringside, so did Scotty. The two teams stare each other down as we go to break. NARRATOR On Sunday night, June 30th, the OAOAST will present the 3rd annunal Great Angle Bash. You'll witness: OAOAST TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH JINGUS & The Sadist vs. Black T OAOAST X-TITLE MATCH Rick Edwards vs. ? The Cult vs. Damaramu & Ryan Smith PUERTO RICAN CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH Derek Stone vs. The Mad Cappa The Saints vs. The Global Party Xchange Also: The Body Shop with Jesse "The Body" Ventura; guest Stephen Joseph The OAOAST appearance of the New New Midnight Express with their manager Jim Cornette And the one the world is waiting for -- WARGAMES, featuring OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion Zack Malibu, Calvin Szechstien, Sly Sommers, Crystal, among others. The only way to witness what promises to be one of the wildest nights in OAOAST history is on pay-per-view. Call your local cable or satellite provider to order now! Those who order the webcast via TSM will receive a free Great Angle Bash poster signed by those who competed that night.

eesesgte

Shouldn't the Thrillogy be grouped together? Like you said, it would probably be a good idea to add a logo on the main page to give some color. Anyway, it looks nice so far!

I thought of calling it "weed back".

That's because just about every match had to have a promo before it and every match had to have space between it and it's set up promo. Did that make sense?

The arena goes pitch black, and the crowd doesn’t know whether to cheer or boo. Instead they buzz in anticipation as they wait to see what team will come out first for tonight’s main event. The opening guitar chord for “Nothing” hits and instantly sends the crowd into a hateful frenzy. Gold pyro shoots up from the entrance stage, momentarily blocking the view of the Zack Malibu’s entrance video. COACH Hey, where's Mikey? COACH Man, who gives a shit. COACH Good point. Who do you think Northy's partner is? CABOOSE Knowing Northstar, it's probably Kirsten Dunst as a way to cross promote Spider Man 2. COACH Yeah, but it's supposed to be an old friend of Zack! Zack’s never met Kirsten Dunst. CABOOSE Oh. Maybe it's CWM. Maybe it's Alix. They teamed up for one night. The OAOAST’s longest running couple, Zack Malibu and Candie step out from the back. The fans greet the world champion with the loudest boos of the night as he raises his belt high into the air, showing off his hard earned trophy. Decked out in matching powder blue tights, with the word “Thrillogy” sewed onto the waistband, Zack and Candie confidently walk to the ring. COACH How’s Candie going to be able to hold up after what she went through with Gunner tonight? BUFFER The following tag team match is scheduled for one fall with a time limit of thirty minutes, now making their way to the ring, from Los Angeles, California the team of the first lady of HeldDOWN, Candie and the OAOAST world champion......ZAAAAAACK MALIBUUUUU! The announcement is of course greeted with jeers from the crowd. Submissive to Zack, Candie holds the ropes open for him, so that the world champion can have easy access to the ring. Zack raises his title one more time, as he and Candie share a prematch kiss. Camera flashes fill the air as people try to get a picture perfect example of Zack’s smug arrogance. The arena is bathed in a soft blue glow and “Nothing” cuts out, causing a previously even tempered Zack to turn pretty damn angry. “Nothing” is replaced by “Happy Ending” by pop starlet Avril Lavigne! Blue and Gold lights begin to travel around the arena at frenzied pace! Decked out in black lip stick and a blue and black outfit that only be described as a futuristic version of chaps, Northstar steps through the sliding the door that separates the locker room from the arena. The crowd gives the former GM a huge ovation. He’s followed by Michael Cole, who nearly gets sandwiched between the sliding doors. The crowd who was expecting a former OAOAST super star like CWM or Some Guy, doesn’t react to well to Michael’s arrival as Northstar’s partner. Northstar spots Zack leaning over the ropes and shouting obscenities at him, and blows him a disingenuous kiss. COLE Mikey???! CABOOSE Northstar teaming up with Michael Cole!!? Are they offering skating lessons in hell now? Northstar hates Zack so much that he has to ally himself with the man who week after week campaigned to have him removed from his general manager spot. God, I hope I never get that pathetic. COACH To late. BUFFER Now making their way to the ring, the team of Michael Cole and NOOOOOORTHSTAAAAR! Northstar has to shout to make himself heard over sounds of the cheers coming from the stands, and the sounds of Avril Lavigne’s fantastic song coming from the sound system. He tries to give Mikey a few basic tips on how to handle Zack. But as a guy who’s already lost four times to Mr.Malibu in his one year of wrestling, he’s in no position to be giving advice. CABOOSE How could Northstar sell me out like this? COACH Sell you out? CABOOSE Damn right! I stood by him when Alix dumped him! I defended him when he made that movie deal! I took his side when Jenna Elfman kicked his ass to the curb! I spouted his company line without question. I did everything for that gender disordered bastard and this is my payment? He sells me out for that mouth breathing, Ken Doll you call a friend, Michael Cole! I’m insulted! Man, I’m hurt! Northstar and Michael Cole get into the ring. Well, Northstar has to basically throw an incredibly nervous Michael into the ring. Northstar tries to climb to the top rope to do his trademark “blow a kiss” but Zack gets in his way and blocks his ascent. The two long time rivals have a heated verbal spat, followed by a brief shoving match. The ref steps between the two gladiators and orders the match to start, meaning two people have to leave the ring. CABOOSE Let the skinny bitch start the match! COACH I thought you liked Candie. CABOOSE I'm talking about Cole! COACH Boo-boo, that’s mean! Mean or not, Zack agrees whole heartedly with Caboose. He snarls at Northstar, then shoves the former HeldDOWN GM to the ground, and uses his boot to push him out of the ring. With Northstar down, Zack has a free shot at Cole. The OAOAST’s number one announcer throws a punch with so little force behind it that it would have a hard time knocking down a three year old. Cole throws another weak punch and Zack counters by grabbing Michael’s wrist. “You gotta do better then that.” Zack remarks cooly. He lets go of Michael’s wrist then grabs a hold of his generic “ OAOAST Great Angle Bash” t-shirt. Channeling the spirt of legendary hockey pugilist, John Kordic, Zack yanks Cole’s t-shirt over his head, exposing his white as milk skin and secret third nipple. A few fans have vomit like reactions when they see Cole’s happy trail. Cole’s vision is obstructed and it prevents him from mounting what would most likely be a futile comeback attempt. With Cole’s shirt halfway over his head, Zack begins to rain down punches to back of his head. The former CBS war correspondent desperately screams and hollers for his mommy as he wildly swats at the world champion, hoping to do a bit of damage to Zack and prevent further damage to himself. COACH Take it to him, Mikey! Float like a butterfly! Sting like a bee! Move those feet! CABOOSE Yeah, move this feet out of this ring, because you’re about to get knocked the fuck out! We finally see the makings of an actual wrestling move as Zack has Cole in position for a vertical suplex! NO!!!! Coming from out of no where, Northstar DRILLS~! a hole through Zack’s gut with a big time MUTHAFUCKING SPEAR!!!!!!!! Michael Cole falls to the mat and quickly rolls out of the ring, still crying for his mommy. CABOOSE Can’t we have a tag team match where order is kept and the legal man is the one who stays in the ring? A tiny bit groggy, Zack rises to his feet with an annoyed look on his face. He hammers Northstar with a stiff forearm to the face, then grabs a hold of his arm and propels him into the ring ropes! Northstar rebounds by smacking Zack across the face with a flying forearm!!! Northstar lands on his feet and poor Zack lands on his back! Northstar backs away from Zack, then shouts for him to stand up! Zack does just that and is met with a running enziguri, a move so powerful that it ends up flipping Zack over and onto his back! Northstar drapes his arm across Zack’s body, looking for a pin. Kick out! CABOOSE Not even one! Zack’s not going down so early in the match! Both men to their feet! They lock up and jockey for position for a few seconds. Northstar’s able to get Zack into a headlock, but his offensive advantage is short lived as Zack shoves him into the ropes nearest Candie! Northstar think’s he’s so smart because he’s hooked his arms around the top rope preventing him from rebounding to Zack. However as smart as Northstar is, Candie’s just a bit smarter, as she grabs the back of his thick black hair and SLAMS him back first to the mat!!!! That does not please the crowd one bit as they hurl obscenities and taunts at Candie and Zack. Northstar yelps in pain as he rubs his head. CABOOSE These people have no class! None at all. Was Candie supposed to let her man get beat up by this second rate Denis Rodman? Zack wastes no time in going on the attack. He drags his arch rival to his feet. He shares a few choice (and unprintable) words with Northstar before whipping him into the corner! Instead of staying in the corner like a good little boy, Northstar staggers foward into Zack’s waiting arms! Zack boots his former side kick in the gut, doubling him over and leaving him gasping for air. He puts Northstar into a underhook position then drops him with a lovely face crusher! Zack mounts Northstar and begins to hammer his adorable face with closed right hands, all the while talking down to his former boss. CABOOSE Northstar and Cole need a team name, how about the Rainbow Warriors? CROWD Zack sucks! Zack sucks! Zack sucks! Candie turns around and shakes an admonishing finger at the fans. No one is insulting her meal ticket! Zack stops his less then kind assault on Northstar’s heavily dolled up face when he notices that Michael Cole is standing on the ring apron with a shit eating grin on his face. Zack dismounts Northstar and heads over to MC, but not before booting Northstar in the ribs! “What’s so funny? Why are you smiling?” Zack asks, his voice full of aggravated anger. When Cole doesn’t answer, Zack grabs him by the shirt, and asks the same question. One again his voice is full of rage and he’s barely able to stop himself from punching Mikey in the jaw. Referee Okari Tanaka, tries to separate Zack from a still smiling Cole. Offended that the ref would even think of doing his job, Zack pie faces him to the ground and sternly orders him to stay out of his way. Zack turns his attention back to Michael Cole, only to be sprayed in the face with YELLOW MIST~! by his former number one fan!!! “AHHHHHHHHH!” A panic stricken Zack hollers as his vision is momentarily stripped of him by this mystery yellow liquid! Zack starts to frantically claw at his eyes, in a laughable attempt to rid himself of the mist. COACH That a boy, Mikey! THAT A BOY! The yellow mist is the most deadly off all the mists. CABOOSE Because it’s piss. Cole, just because you and Northstar are into watersports doesn’t mean you have to force your sick fetishes on the rest of us normal people! The crowd bursts into laughter as they watch the world champion stumble around the ring, blindly reaching for something, anything to use to wipe the deadly mist (piss?) out of his eyes! Finally Zack does find something to wipe his eyes with. It’s kind of stringy, a little curly, pretty long, it has some kind of plastic pin in it, it feels pretty familiar to him, Zack even recognizes the scents as it smells like Herbal Essence shampoo and cherry scented hair spray...... SMAAAACK! “Stupid!” Candie hollers at her boyfriend after smacking him in the face! He had been using her envy inducing hair to wipe off his eyes! How inconsiderate! Zack stumbles backwards and falls to the ground, still praying someone will give him something to wipe his eyes with COACH Yo! We’ll be back. Hopefully during the break someone can get this baby a towel. (Go to break) (Return from break) We return to find a humiliated Zack, standing on the ring apron. His arms are draped over the ropes, his face is stained a shade of yellow and he looks like he’d rather be any where else but here. Candie of course has taken Zack’s place. Northstar, who was too busy talking to Kate Hudson on his cell phone to notice Zack’s embarrassing ordeal, is still in the ring. COACH Sup peeps! During the break Zack Malibu grabbed da MIC~! and threatened to take the title and go home and never come back unless he was given a towel for his eyes. Candie and Northstar go for a lock up. Candie raises her arms first, leaving her lower body exposed. Northstar takes advantage of this, and instead of going for a lockup he ducks behind Candie and gets her into a rear waist lock! CROWD Candie has herpes! Candie has herpes! Candie has herpes! Northstar lifts Candie up for a german suplex, BUT much to his chagrin she avoids a near disastrous move by rolling through into a pin attempt! 1 KICK OUT! Both competitors get to their feet, and shoot each other menacing glares. Well, as menacing as girl who looks like she’s fourteen and guy who looks he’s a fourteen year old girl can get. Anyway, they really do lockup this time. Northstar has no trouble forcing Candie into a neutral corner. Northstar breaks the hold and rears his fist back, preparing to lower the boom like he was Mohamed Ali and she was Sonny Liston. But, Candie smartly ducks between the third and second ropes, forcing Northstar to make a clean break. Frustrated with having to break the hold, Northstar gives ref Okari Tanaka, an earful as he’s forced to the center of the ring. CABOOSE Coach, Candie is a role model to women everywhere. First she escapes with mind and body intact from that savage rapist, Gunner, now she’s holding her own against this glory hogging air head, Northstar. Candie tries to stall by telling Northstar to back up some more. He does the exact opposite of what Candie tells him to do and charges at her with a corner avalanche! Afraid of getting made into a turnbuckle sandwich Candie DIVES a good three feet out of the way! Ever the agile one, Northstar casually lands on the second ropes. He looks over his shoulder and notices that Candie has foolishly positioned herself behind him. He blows a kiss to the world, before flying towards Candie with a MUTHAFUCKING~! moonsault press!!! The move connects and Candie is O-U-T, and the crowd is tickled with d-e-l-i-g-h-t!! Crowd Let’s go Northstar! Let’s got Northstar! Let’s go Northstar! Northstar nods his head in appreciation of the chant. He rips his baby blue mesh shirt off, exposing his chiseled physique, and causing the female members of the audience to blow the roof off the arena with their shrieking! CABOOSE Pull your pants up, Coach. BAM!!! Zack Malibu levels Northstar from behind with a clubbing forearm, paying him back for the spear Northstar hit him with early in the match! With a renewed hatred for his old enemy, Zack violently stomps away at him, muttering and cussing as he kicks his old friend. Candie slowly rises to her feet and aids her boyfriend in stomping the shit out of Northstar. Taking an interest in your boyfriend’s past times? How sweet! CROWD Candie swallows! Candie swallows! Candie swallows! Michael Cole, who is an adamant opponent of any type of doubling teaming, has seen ENOUGH!!!!!! He charges into the ring and makes a bee line for Zack! He leaps onto the world champion’s back and proceeds to make an uncivilized attempt to gouge Zack’s eyes out! The crowd roars in approval for MC’s show of ruthlessness! CABOOSE Stupid, Cole! Is this how you repay the man who’s responsible for your continued employment?! By trying to rip his face off? Northy is on his feet and has Candie set up for the Kate Beckinbomb! The crowd is on the edge of their feet and urging Northstar to powerbomb her straight TO HELL!!!!! Zack, who’s rid himself of Cole, makes sure they’ll see no such thing as he LEVELS Northstar with a clothesline!!!! With a frown etched on his face, Zack yanks Northstar upright. He tries to get Northstar as far away from Candie as possible and goes for an Irish whip, BUT it’s reversed by Northstar, who sends Zack crashing into Candie, causing their heads to collide and Candie to fall to the mat! Zack stands in horror and awe as he see’s his precious Candie lying unconscious on the canvas. CABOOSE Medic! EMT! Candie’s gone down! COACH From what I’ve heard, that ain’t the first time.... Northstar get’s all intelligent on us and quotes Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet “Away begone, stand not amazed!” He orders Zack. With that, Northstar grabs the back of Zack’s head and flings him over the top rope, sending him crashing to the mat face first and permanently taking him out of this match! The fans in the seats nearest Zack rise to their feet and lean over the barricade and shower Zack with jeers, taunts, and proposals for fellatio. Zack starts to regret his decision to ever become a pro wrestler when a fan pours his eight dollar beer onto Zack's meticulously styled hair. CABOOSE Ah! Security! Security! Get down here and do your damn job! Our champion is being violated! Back in the ring, Northstar grabs Candie by her bleached blonde hair and brings the diva to her feet. He loudly asks the crowd what he should do with her. Their response is “ifhiwhfffhfubfhiw2hggYFY” Which he interprets to mean “body slam”. Always one to please the blood thirsty fan base, Northstar drops Candie with a Bridget Moynaslam (basic body slam!) Northstar then turns the show over to Michael Cole. CABOOSE ! What’s he doing up there? Get down, you fool! You’re gonna break your freaking neck! You can’t work with a broken neck! Wait.....stay up there! Stay up there! Do a swanton bomb! Do a 630 splash! Wait, I’ll get you a ladder! What’s Caboose rambling about? Well, Mikey has made his way to the top rope! His knees are shaking, his palms are sweating and his stomach has turned inside out about three times. His eyes are blinded by the sweat that’s dripping down from his forehead. That proves to be a good thing as it prevents him from looking down, something that would only make him even more nervous. He’s wondering what type of brain fart he had to lead him into climbing the top rope. To him it seems like time has slowed to an eighth. All he can hear is the roar of the crowd, the chants of his name, and Northstar, Caboose and Coach urging him to make the leap! He takes a deep breath and summons all the courage he can muster. Then, much to the delight and amusement of just about every one in the arena, he starts to swivel his hips and shake his ass like a mother fucking drill. He then closes his eyes, says a little prayer and flies off with a MONEY SHOT~! CABOOSE AND COACH !!!! A thirty second silence seems like thirty minutes as Cole floats through the air, body out stretched and eyes still closed. Then the crowd erupts like a VOLCANO~!!!!!!! as Michael Cole lands a picture perfect Money Shot on Candie! He’s in a pinning position so the ref makes the count!! CROWD 1 CROWD 2 CROWD 3!!!!!!! CABOOSE What?! WHAT??!!!! I demand a recount! He wasn’t even the legal man! This is an injustice of ineptitude! COACH He did it! HE DID IT, BOOZY! HE DID IT! Coach rips off his head set and slams it onto the floor! He leaves the announcer’s table and darts to the ring! Out of the corner of his eye, Michael spots his announce partner running towards him! Cole stands up and leaps into the Coach’s arms! They share an enormous embrace as Coach swings a smiling Mikey in the air! CABOOSE Dude, they’re so gay. Two thirds of Triple C are showered in black and orange confetti left over from the office Halloween party, that rains down from ceiling and into the ring. CABOOSE Oh god.....does this make Michael the number one contender? (Caboose weeps.) Overcome with happiness the two fall to the mat, hugging, laughing and crying tears of heartfelt joy for Cole’s huge win. Soon, the entire locker room* empties as wrestlers and staff members rush to the ring to congratulate Michael Cole. (*=By entire locker room I mean, Jackie Gayda, Josh Matthews, Tom Goran, Randy Savage and Mike Hunt. hahahahhaaa. Mike Hunt.) On the outside, Northstar is seen rummaging through an out cold Zack’s wallet, hoping to score some quick cash to feed is his Soy & Calendula facial scrub addiction. The man has a disease. CABOOSE Well, I’m off to go jump off a building. Have a nice weekend! The show closes with all the well wishers from the back pouring into the ring and piling on top of Michael Cole as if he had just won the Stanley Cup. And given how happy he looks, he might as well have.

OAOAST HeldDOWN~! "Trust me" by Lucy Woodward plays as we SEE THE LOGO~ And we’re live from the sold-out Angle Arena, OAOAST fans going crazily loud in this f’ed up world. In the middle, of the ring, stands one Stephen Joseph Popick, microphone in hand. Stephen Joseph Welcome to HeldDown! Tonight is very special, something we should have seen last week. But instead, you get it this week. The red carpet’s been rolled out, I’m dressed up for the occasion (he sports a tux) and ladies and gentleman, I am here to announce that once again, OAOAST corporate producers will be in charge of who becomes your next World Champion. You see, we tried to let the wrestlers decide, and we tried to let you all decide. But the wrestlers, particularly Zack and Calvin, played politics, keeping the belt in their ‘clique’ here on HeldDown. I saw that no one on IntenseZone ever got a shot, a real shot. Hell, I’m the only guy from iZ to hold a WIN over Zack Malibu in a title match, it was just by DQ! So no more. Back then, people said I abused my power, putting myself in the spotlight. Well, old SJ may in fact have done that, but now I’m dedicated to putting this ::SJ raises 5 fingers:: what this represents, into the spotlight. You see, this isn’t about me, or about Zack, its about elevating talent, talent that has put forth the effort and deserves a chance to shine. Talent, like RVD, that other companies have HeldDown, who should be your World Champion, instead of the mock charade of a title feud we have these days. Face it, every one of you knows who’s done the time, know who’s done the effort, who’s done the math. Tonight I honor this man, whom I know has carried this company like he is it’s Franchise Player, not some wannabe punk ass who idolized a washed-up has been from Pittsburgh. He’s done more for the OAOAST this year than its namesake, its producers, and all of its writers. Tonight, I am proud to present this… ::SJ raises a championship belt. We don’t get a good look at it:: the official OAOAST Corporate Belt, which recognizes the best damn OAOAST wrestler period, to none other than… Tha Puerto Rican! Welcome to the Inten5e era! ::The crowd buzzes in anticipation at Stephen Joseph Popick's recent announcement. They all wait for Tha Puerto Rican's arrival, as Popick stands in the ring, with a wide, but evil, smile on his face, looking at the HeldDOWN~! entrance. The AngleTron lights up with a Puerto Rican flag, and white, blocky text. Tha Puerto Rican's voice is heard reading the text on the screen.:: *THE CHAMP IS HERE* ::With that, "Know Your Role '99" begins playing over the P.A. System. P.R.'s voice is heard saying "THE CHAMP IS HERE!" several times over the song, as the lights go down in the arena, and flicker on and off. Fog fills up the entrance as P.R.'s brand new entrance video plays on the AngleTron. The crowd waits for a few seconds, before Tha Puerto Rican steps out through the fog. The crowd boos loudly and chants "P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!" Tha Puerto Rican looks at the crowd in contempt and sneers.:: MICHAEL COLE: Is that Tha Puerto Rican? JONATHON "THE COACH" COACHMAN: He certainly looks different. ::Tha Puerto Rican has a brand new look. His dreadlocks have been cut and have been replaced with a short spiky black hairstyle. He is wearing a Puerto Rican flag bandana on his forehead and a gold chain around his neck, but is now sporting a white collar shirt, a red tie, a black sports jacket, black dress pants, and black shoes. He is also wearing a $500 Rolex watch on his right hand, and a pierced left ear, and is also wearing his trademarked sunglasses.:: CABOOSE: Looks like Tha Puerto Rican has had a "Corporate" makeover. COACH: "The Corporate Champion" certainly looks the part. ::As P.R.'s new theme song continues playing, Tha Puerto Rican, "The Corporate Champion", makes his walk down the ramp to the ring. Stephen Joseph applauds his proteage. Tha Puerto Rican jaws with some fans, but then sports a smirk.:: MC: Tha Puerto Rican has a brand new look tonight. CABOOSE: And you shouldn't be suprised, MC. If Tha Puerto Rican is going to be the "Corporate Champion". If Tha Puerto Rican is going to represent OAOAST Corporate against Zack Malibu. If Tha Puerto Rican is going to be the next OAOAST World Champion, he is going to have to look the part. He can't go around looking like a two-bit thug. Not that there was anything wrong with the way he looked before, but he didn't look like a Champion. He didn't look like a World Champion. He didn't look like a Corporate Champion. But now, with Popick's help, the man looks like the Corporate Champion that he SHOULD be! COACH: I do notice that he is still wearing a bandana and a gold chain. CABOOSE: That's a throwback to his roots. He's not selling out. He's not forgetting his heritage, or his people. He is just evolving. This is Tha Puerto Rican version 2.0! COACH: When did he call himself Tha Puerto Rican version 1.0? Where's his P.R.'s Facts? CABOOSE: Nevermind. I'm not even going to bother. ::"Know Your Role '99" continues playing as Tha Puerto Rican enters the ring. P.R. steps on a turnbuckle, and poses with his left fist in the air, a'la The Rock. The crowd boos loudly and chants "P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!" but P.R. sneers. He cocks The People's Eyebrow, and smirks.:: CABOOSE: Ladies and gentlemen, that right there, is your NEXT OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! I'm calling it now. I am making a bold prediction, Tha Puerto Rican will be the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion in the year 2004! I guarantee it! THIS man should be World Champion at this very moment! But he's not, and that's a travesty! But at least the belt is on Zack Malibu, so that's okay. MC: Tha Puerto Rican is Stephen Joseph's Chosen One. The man who Popick, is giving his 100% support and backing to dethrone Zack Malibu and become OAOAST World Champion. This man has the backing of OAOAST Corporate (he does?), but I don't think he has the backing of these fans. "The Corporate Champion", as Popick calls it. The man who will avenge IntenseZone and rule HeldDOWN~! one day as the World Champion. COACHMAN: He's not going to be World Champion tonight, but time will tell if Popick's prediction comes true, and P.R. becomes Champion. CABOOSE: It damn well will. SJ's a prophet! He was right about Zack Malibu, and he will be right about Tha Puerto Rican. SJ will guide P.R. to the top of the mountain! This P.R./SJ alliance will work out for both men! MC: Stephen Joseph shocked us all by attacking Colombian Heat with a lead pipe back at School's Out: Class Dismissed on May 23rd, aligning himself with the former Puerto Rican Champion and leader of The Lightning Crew, Tha Puerto Rican. Colombian Heat is out of action, and will not be back for a few months, we have just found out. And now, as we are seeing, P.R. is taking this alliance to heart, and has a "Corporate" makeover. Now, we will finally heard P.R.'s reasoning for joining up with Popick. For 3 weeks, these two men have been a team, and now we will get the reasoning behind it. ::Tha Puerto Rican enters the ring. Stephen Joseph hands him his own microphone. Joseph continues holding his suitcase, as the lights go back on in the arena, and "Know Your Role '99" dies down. The crowd boos loudly and chants "P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!" Popick stands by and watches as P.R. smiles evilly and begins to speak.:: THA PUERTO RICAN: THE CHAMP IS HERE! MC: He isn't the World Champion yet. CABOOSE: He means The Corporate Champion, you moron! ::The crowd boos loudly. P.R. laughs evilly and continues.:: THA PUERTO RICAN: Now, unless you are blind, you noticed my new look tonight. I have to say, Popick, I get better looking everyday, but this makeover has doubled my hot-ness by 110%! That day at the spa did me alot of good. The manicure and pedicure was great. The massage calmed me down. And those "ladies" you sent over, did me a good amount of service too! HAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!! POPICK: Anytime, my friend. MY Corporate Champion gets the best and ONLY the best! P.R.: Now, I am sure, each and everyone of you pieces of trailer-park trash... ::BOOS~!:: P.R.: I said, each and everyone of you pieces of trailer-park trash are wondering, out of all the people in the OAOAST, out of all the people in the world, why, oh, why pray tell, would Tha Puerto Rican, 2 time Puerto Rican Champion, the longest reigning North American Champion in OAOAST history, and the single, GREATEST Puerto Rican athlete ever, would align himself with Stephen Joseph Popick, the man who has not once, not twice, but THREE times screwed Tha Puerto Rican over? The man who was single-handily responsible for The Lightning Crew Gauntlet to continue? The man who absolved the Puerto Rican Championship Rulebook and made the Puerto Rican Championship an official OAOAST title belt? The man, who I personally hold a grudge, or "held" a grudge towards to, and the man who I felt was responsible for making me lose the Puerto Rican Championship to The Mad Cappa at AngleMania III back in March in a No Disqualification Match? ::Crowd pops for mention of Cappa's name.:: MC: It's true. The Lightning Crew beat on Stephen Joseph back in December. What a change of heart in only 6 months! THA PUERTO RICAN: Well, the answer can be summed up in one word: CORPORATE! For you see, the sole reason I joined up with Stephen Joseph Popick was because he is a member of OAOAST Corporate. Now, don't believe what that HACK Zack Malibu tells you. He doesn't control the OAOAST. HE does! .R. points to Popick. Popick blushes a little, but smiles, and does the "bowing" motion to P.R. The crowd boos.:: CABOOSE: You can't deny that fact. He is Corporate you know. THA PUERTO RICAN: And it is with that, that I did what I did. Because, I want to become OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion. I NEED to become OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion. It is my life mission to have that belt around my waist. It is what I strive for, and the reason I work hard, giving my 100% every damn day of my life! STEPHEN JOSEPH: That is one of the reasons I chose you, P.R. It is your determination. It is your motivation to win that belt that made you my #1 choice. P.R.: Exactly, Popick. Not one single OAOAST superstar has the drive I have. NOT ONE! Now, if you take my drive and determination to become OAOAST World Champion, and add that with Stephen Joseph's Corporate connections and being a member of OAOAST Corporate, then you will see why I aligned myself with him. Simply put, Tha Puerto Rican did what he had to do to get to the top of the mountain. Now, I know what you're thinking: I'm cheating. I'm using Stephen Joseph to become World Champion. I rather use Popick's corporate connections to become World Champion, then start at the bottom, and work my way to the top. Well, to you I say: FUCK YOU! ::BOOOOO!!!:: THA PUERTO RICAN: For you see, as long as Zack "The Hack" Mali-P.U. is the World Heavyweight Champion, my hard work will never pay off! He will never give me MY fair share. MY piece of the pie! I will NEVER get the World Title shot that I rightfully deserve as long as that prestigious title is around that asshole's waist! And it's all thanks to Stephen Joseph that I realized that. Thank you, Stephen Joseph Popick. Thank You so much for making me realize that. Thank You for giving me that revelation. I owe you for that, big time. I will never forget that. I owe you one, my friend. POPICK: Hey, no problem, G. P.R.: So, rather than work, and work, and work. Wrestling every night in some hick town in front of unappreciating fans, not getting a title shot, while that Hack defends the title against his friends, and people who kiss his ass enough, two things that I am not and will NEVER do, I decided to take the easy way out. Call me lazy, I call it smart. Using Popick to get my DESERVING World Title shot, is probably the smartest thing I've ever done. I did what I had to do, and I will do ANYTHING, ANYTHING, no matter what the prize, no matter how badly I may get injured, no matter what the risk, no matter what I may have to give up. Even if I have to give up my own free will, I will, all so that I can become the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion. That title means more to me than life itself. I am willing to go through Hell and back, just to have that belt, just to become World Champion. STEPHEN JOSEPH: P.R., P.R., let me stop you for a second. That was a wonderful speech you just gave to these idiotic fans. P.R., I just like to thank you for joining up with me. Believe me, we are not going to be doing this on our own. No, sir. I will have many more people joining me in the upcoming weeks and months ahead. HeldDOWN~! will pay for putting IntenseZone out of business. And they will pay for screwing you, me, and the rest of the IntenseZone talent over. And HeldDown…has traitors in their midst, set up months before. These same fans who have mocked you, belittled you, and have spit on you, will pay for their misdeeds. We need to stick together. We have to stick together, because together, we will be unstoppable! We need to bond, need to work together, if we are going to make HeldDOWN~! pay. And of course, if you want to become World Champion. For you see, Puerto, you are The Corporate Champion. YOU are what the OAOAST World Champion should be. You are the total package. A mixture of talent, charisma, dignity, and intelligence. You are everything the current champion isn't. Trust me, P.R. If you continue following me. If you continue letting me guide you, you WILL become the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! I guarantee it. But, only if you follow me. Because only I can make your dream of becoming OAOAST World Champion, a reality. P.R.: I'd do anything to become World Champion. Mr. Popick. You have yourself a deal. POPICK: Very good. I will guide you to the World Title! I am very pleased in you, The Corporate Champion. Now, as a token of my apperciation, I had this made JUST FOR YOU! ::Stephen Joseph opens up the suitcase he was carrying. The fans buzz in anticipation as to what's inside the suitcase. P.R. is also curious. Stephen Joseph pulls out a championship belt. The crowd is shocked.:: MC: What the? ::The belt is shaped like the WWF Championship belt that was used from 1998-2002. It's a black leather belt with a gold plate in the center that has a globe in the middle, and an eagle on top of it. In blood red, the word CORPORATE appears across the center, and CHAMPION appears underneath in black and gold. P.R. is estatic with the belt. Stephen Joseph hands P.R. the belt as the crowd boos and chants "P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!":: STEPHEN JOSEPH: Every Champion needs a belt. I know this isn't the World Title belt, but this should hold you over until you become World Champ. After all, you are The Corporate Champion! Stephen Joseph Popick's Corporate Champion to be exact. Ladies and Gentlemen, and Tha Puerto Rican, I now present to you...The CORPORATE CHAMPION BELT! ::The crowd boos loudly, as Stephen Josephs hands P.R. the belt. P.R. is happy, and hugs Popick. Tha Puerto Rican laughs evilly and sneers at the crowd. Tha Puerto Rican raises the brand new Corporate Champion belt to boos. He heads to the turnbuckles and raises the belts while Popick applauds and laughs evilly. P.R. handshakes Popick, and then puts the belt over his left shoulder, and raises the People's Eyebrow.:: STEPHEN JOSEPH: From this day forward, your name shall always be "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican! Remember that, Buffer! He will always, ALWAYS be announced as The Corporate Champion first. MC: Why, if this isn't ego-stroking at its worst. Stephen Joseph has just handed over "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican a vanity belt. The Corporate Champion belt! Why, if this isn't political games at its worst! CABOOSE: This belt just shows the world who is the Corporate Champion! It's not an actual OAOAST title. This will not be defended. This is like a trophy that P.R. can carry around to show off, like Kurt Angle's gold medals. COACH: There's no point for this belt. I like my Barbie Dolls, but you don't see me carrying them around everywhere I go. CABOOSE: I just saw you with two this morning. COACH: AAAHH! MC: This is a brand new side of Tha Puerto Rican. CABOOSE: That's "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican to you! COACH: Regardless, this new "Corporate" Puerto Rican is going to take some getting used to. CABOOSE: This is the best Puerto Rican yet. Stephen Joseph will take "The Corporate Champion" to the World Title! "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN: So, Zack, and to each OAOAST superstar. Watch out for the lightning, because I will be gunning for the OAOAST World Title. And for anyone whose in my way, they will suffer a P.R.-- POPICK: CORPORATE! P.R.: CORPORATE NIGHTMARE! Fuck me? FUCK YOU! POPICK: And that's the truth, Ruth! P.R. and POPICK: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!! ::"Know Your Role '99" begins playing again. "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican raises the Corporate Champion belt to boos. Some fans throw garbage into the ring. Stephen Joseph holds the ropes open for P.R. to leave. P.R. and Joseph shake hands and walk to the ramp side-by-side. P.R. jaws with some fans, but continues walking, with the Corporate Champion belt over his left shoulder. He sneers at the crowd.:: MICHAEL COLE: What a shocking revelation we have just heard tonight. Stephen Joseph announced to the world, that he has handpicked Tha Puerto Rican to be the next OAOAST World Champion, dubbing him his "Corporate Champion" and handing him the Corprate Champion belt. COACH: I am actually a little worried about this alliance. It's bad enough we got the Thrillogy running all over the place. But now we have to contend with Stephen Joseph and "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican? CABOOSE: AND whoever else will be apart of Joseph's group. Remember, SJ has vowed to add more wrestlers into his stable, but Tha Puerto Rican will be the centerpiece as the Corporate Champion. (Cut back to Sofa Central with Triple C.) MC: I'm not really surprised that P.R. was chosen. His ego is right up there with Popick in terms of inflated ego. Can you imagine the impact these two evil masterminds will have together? COACH: As long as P.R. and Popick are on the same team, we're in trouble. CABOOSE: These two men are great on their own. I can't wait to see what these two have planned. COACH: Heh, I just thought of something. P.R. and Popick are a team. Maybe they should call themselves P & P, or Pee-Pee! HA! CABOOSE: Coach, stop it now. Before Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph Popick exit through the curtain, they are stopped by OAOAST Director of Authority Abe Vigoda and "Cowboy" Bill Watts appearing on the AngleTron! P.R. and Popick are shocked. MC: Abe Vigoda, and Cowboy Bill Watts? What are they doing here? ABE VIGODA: Gentlemen, if you will, arrest these two men! Police officers appear in front of Vigoda and Watts. P.R. and Popick question each other as to what is going on. The crowd is also buzzing. BILL WATTS: These two men are responsible for the attack that happened to me and Mr. Vigoda last week on HeldDOWN~!. MC: I knew it! CABOOSE: Shut up, Michael Cole. You don't know anything, you moron! COACH: P.R. and Stephen Joseph are the ones who attacked Bill Watts and Abe Vigoda? I am shocked...well not so much. ABE VIGODA: Bill Watts and myself are not OAOAST wrestlers, and therefore, any attack on us is a crime, it is assault and battery. So, you two are going to be arrested, for assault and battery! The crowd pops. MC: YES! CABOOSE: NO! THIS IS NOT RIGHT! THESE TWO HAVE BEEN FRAMED! COACH: It looks like "The Corporate Champion" is going to sent to the pokey with a bunch of blue collar criminals! CABOOSE: THIS IS AN OBSTRUCTION OF JUSTICE! THIS IS NOT RIGHT! P.R. DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG! POPICK DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG! THEY'VE BEEN SET UP! THEY WERE SET UP BY VIGODA AND WATTS! ABE VIGODA: I WANT THESE TWO TO BE PUT IN JAIL FOR A DAMN LONG TIME! The crowd cheers loudly. Tha Puerto Rican and SJ panic, but then calm down. The police officers go to arrest Popick, but P.R. stops them. "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN: Officers. Officers. Please. Please do not arrest Stephen Joseph. He didn't do anything wrong. I am the one who attacked Abe Vigoda and Bill Watts. I DID IT BY MYSELF! Popick is innocent. I did it. I did it...and I'M PROUD OF IT! HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!! I would do it again if I had the chance. In fact...I'm going to do it again right now! Tha Puerto Rican charges towards Abe Vigoda and Bill Watts who he thinks are around backstage, but the police pull him back. Tha Puerto Rican struggles to escape, but his hands are cuffed to his back. P.R. tries to break free, but is unsuccessful. The crowd cheers loudly and chants "P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!" P.R. curses at the crowd, and spits in their direction. Stephen Joseph has a concerned look on his face. COACH: Tha Puerto Rican is actually being arrested! The Corporate Champion is going to jail! MC: Finally, P.R. gets what's coming to him! CABOOSE: I hate you two, so damn much. What you are seeing is an obvious obstruction of justice. These are crooked cops! They are arrested an innocent man. He doesn't deserve this! ABE VIGODA: Give him your worst, officers. That'll teach you to attack us, you punk! THA PUERTO RICAN: FUCK YOU, OLD MAN! The crowd starts singing "Na, Na, Na, Na (Hey, Hey, Hey Goodbye)" as P.R. is carried off by 10 police officers. Stephen Joseph stands in the entranceway watching all of this. He has a worried look on his face. COLE: What a shocker. A few minutes after Stephen Joseph announces that Tha Puerto Rican is his handpicked "Corporate Champion", Tha Puerto Rican is arrested for attacking Abe Vigoda and Bill Watts last week on HeldDOWN~!. COACH: This will defintley put a monkey wrench into Popick's plans to make P.R. the World Heavyweight Champion! CABOOSE: Popick will come through. Believe me, he will come through! He's done so before, he'll do it again! He'll get P.R. out! I know he will! He will, and Tha Puerto Rican will return, and he will win the World Heavyweight Champion! And can we please tell these fans to stop singing that damn song! I HATE THAT SONG! The crowd continues singing "The Goodbye Song" as the camera cuts to the parking lot, where a police car is waiting. P.R. sneers at the crowd, still trying to escape. Stephen Joseph follows. THA PUERTO RICAN: Get your hands off me, you pigs!!! COLE: This definitely didn't fit into Stephen Joseph's plans for tonight. More HeldDOWN~! after this! (Commercial Break) (Return From Break) The camera cuts to the parking lot. The Lightning Crew has gathered by the police car. They are all worried, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez is crying. Stephen Joseph, Abe Vigoda, and Bill Watts are also outside. Tha Puerto Rican is forced into the police car. The Lightning Crew all say goodbye to P.R. P.R. sneers at them. (place a bit after first segment) COLE: Back on HeldDOWN~!, and Tha Puerto Rican is now being escorted into that cop car. COACH: The Lightning Crew are now outside, and are seeing this live. CABOOSE: They shouldn't be seeing this in the first place. This sucks! CUBAN WALL: Later, boss. MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ: I'll miss you baby. I love you. Don't ever forget that. I love you alot. THOMAS RODRIGUEZ: Maybe, you won't get a long sentence. Maybe a day or two. VITAMIN X: See ya, P.R. Don't drop your soap. MR. BORICUA: NOOOOOOO!!! DON'T. GO. I'LL. MISS. YOU. SPANISH FLY: We'll miss you. You'll get out of jail, though. Don't worry. P.R.: Oh yeah, Spanish Fly, you're fired from The Lightning Crew. SPANISH FLY: I HATE YOU! I HOPE YOU DIE! Spanish Fly runs away, crying. COACH: Well, ANOTHER Lightning Crew member, gone! That's 3 in 3 months! STEPHEN JOSEPH: P.R., dude, buddy, I'll get you out. You gotta trust me. You won't be in jail for long. I WILL get you out. I guarantee it! You will be free, and you WILL be Champion. You just gotta trust me. I will get you your title shot. Your title shot WILL come. It will happen! Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but you will get it eventually! Let me handle it. Let me handle your affairs. I will take be in control of The Lightning Crew while you're gone. But you won't be gone for long. Trust me on that. I WILL get you out! My "Corporate Champion" will NOT be rotting away in some jail cell for a long time! "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN: You do that, Stephen Joseph. You get me out. You get me MY title shot. You take care of The Lightning Crew. You do all of that. I trust you. Let me say it to all right now. I WILL BE BACK! And when I get back, the OAOAST better be prepared. Because they will see a re-energized Puerto Rican. They will see a motivated Puerto Rican. And they will see a Corporate Champion Puerto Rican. A Puerto Rican, who WILL become OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion. I will return. And when I do, you better watch out for the lightning strikes, because the OAOAST is due in for a Corporate Nightmare. And that's the truth, Ruth! P.R. hands Popick the Corporate Champion belt. MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ: Bye, P.R.! The police car starts. P.R. flips the middle finger to the camera, and the police car drives off. The Lightning Crew are depressed. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez is crying. Stephen Joseph Popick looks at the Corporate Champion belt, and becomes angry. But then cracks a smile, before frowning again. POPICK: Okay, guys. Let's go. I'm in charge now! Remember that! Let's move! Stephen Joseph and The Lightning Crew leave. The camera focuses on the parking lot. (Back to Sofa Central with Michael Cole, Jonathon Coachman, and Caboose) COLE: Tha Puerto Rican is going to jail, and now because of this, Stephen Joseph is in charge of The Lightning Crew! What a shocking turn of events tonight! COACH: Tell me about it. First, Stephen Joseph announces that P.R. is his handpicked "Corporate Champion". Then, Tha Puerto Rican comes out, with a brand new look. Then he is handed the Corporate Champion belt. Then he is arrested and thrown to jail for who knows how long? CABOOSE: I seriously can't believe none of this. This is all a dream. No wait, if this was a dream, then you two wouldn't be in it. But damnit! It's not fair! P.R. shouldn't be locked up. I can't imagine how will we run HeldDOWN~! without P.R.? COLE: I imagined the same. Just with one less egomaniac on the show. CABOOSE: Hey! The good news is, you will have to deal with MORE Popick, since he is going to be getting P.R. his title shot! He promised he would. I'm sure by the time P.R. returns, he will recieve his DESERVED title shot! He will become World Champion by the time he returns! I can feel it! Fo' sho! COACH: Well, it looks like P.R. will be gone for most of the summer, so look forward to a summer WITHOUT Tha Puerto Rican on HeldDOWN~!. COLE: Hey, I'm excited already! No more P.R.! COACH: Yea! Coach and Cole high-five each other. CABOOSE: You two disgust me. COLE: Not as much as you disgust us. CABOOSE: WHAT DID YOU SAY?

(Return from break) We fade in focused on the ring, where some guy is standing in the ring holding a mic. GUY Welcome back to HeldDOWN~! I'm Jason Sanderson, and right now I've got the privilege of interviewing one of the fastest-rising stars here in the OAOAST. Fresh off of a victory over his ex-fiancee, Tina, allow me to introduce to you...CHRIS...BRYTE! "It's Goin' Down" by Linkin Park feat. the X-ecutioners hits the PA system as a dim blue hue covers the arena. Smoke rolls out from the locker room, and a white strobe light flashes at the entrance. Watch them flee Watch them flee Wa...Wa...Watch them flee Hip-Hop hits *scratch* *scratch* And you do it like this! The locker room curtain swings open and the crowd boos wildly as Chris Bryte steps out onto the stage. As always, he's wearing his trademark shades, and he's accompanied by the big man who interfered in his match against Tina last week. The two start down the ramp towards ringside, with Bryte taunting the fans along the way. Both men climb upon the ring apron, step into the ring (with Bryte going through the ropes and the big man stepping over the top) and approach Sanderson. The music dies down and the lights return to normal. SANDERSON Ok, Chris...as I mentioned, you're fresh off of a victory over Tina, but the victory was a controversial one. You won the match, Chris, but you won it with the help of this man (pointing to the big guy). He entered the ring after the ref had been KO'd, he hit Tina, split her head wide open...gave her a concussion as well, and you walked away with the win. Now we've seen this guy before, Chris. It was at the Year of Living Anglelously where this man came from the crowd and attacked Panther prior to your career match against him. At the time, you denied any association with him, but now, it's obvious that there's something going between the two of you. Chris Bryte, you've got some explaining to do, and why don't you start by letting us know just who this man is! Sanderson holds the mic up to Bryte's face mouth as the big man looks on in the background. Chants of "WE WANT PANTHER *CLAP, CLAP, CLAP CLAP CLAP*" start up in the crowd, bringing a smirk to Bryte's face. BRYTE You wanna know who he is? (Sanderson nods) Well sit back and listen, because I'm about to enlighten you. (pointing at the big man) This man right here...you could call him a bodyguard, an insurance policy...whatever floats your boat! But make no mistake about it, he is my right hand! And he's not only my right hand, but he is, in fact...THE HAND~! A thunder clap can be heard in the background as Bryte tosses his head back and begins to cackle sinisterly. SANDERSON So...(snickers) his name is The Hand? BRYTE That's right. SANDERSON The Hand?! THE HAND?! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Bryte and the Hand look on as Sanderson starts laughing his ass off. The fans begin to laugh too, causing Bryte to become angry. BRYTE Stop that! Stop it NOW! SANDERSON (tries to gather himself) I'm sorry. Really...I am. It's just...(snickers)...THE HAND! AHAHAHAHAHAHA! Bryte looks annoyed as Sanderson breaks down again. The crowd starts up again and we cut over to Sofa Central, where even Triple C is laughing. SANDERSON (still laughing) Oh my goodness. Chris, no disrespect, but honest to God, that's gotta be the stupidest name I've ever-- *WHAM* Suddenly, The Hand blasts Sanderson with a STIFF right hand to the temple, killing him on impact. The crowd lets loose as collective gasp as The Hand grabs the mic and turns to the crowd with a psychotic glare. THE HAND WHO ELSE WANTS SOME?! RANDOM FANS "Not me!" "I was just kidding!" "I think The Hand is a nice name!" The Hand nods and hands the mic back to Bryte. Bryte has a smile on his face as he points down at Sanderson's dead body. BRYTE You see OAOAST...this is no laughing matter! This man is no joke! This man is a beast! This man possesses the deadliest hands on the planet! Forget Ronnie Garvin, this is the true Hand of Stone right here! He's broken bones with his bare hands. Hell...it wasn't too long ago that he used those very hands to leave Tina laid up in a hospital bed with a fractured skull. (crowd boos) Yeah, that's right...this was the man behind the attack on Tina a couple of months back, and just to make sure that there's no speculation...I WAS IN ON IT ALL ALONG! ::The crowd boos wildly in the background as Bryte stands in the ring with a smile on his face:: BRYTE Oh c'mon, now! It wasn't THAT bad. Both Tina and all you idiots out there need to be happy that a fractured skull was all she ended up with, because as you can plainly see, he's capable of much worse! (laughs) COLE What a no good son of a bitch! BRYTE And let that be a lesson to everybody here in the OAOAST! There are no depths that I won't stoop to in order to get my way around here! There is nothing I won't do to come out on top! And... Bryte stops midsentence and turns to towards the entrance. The camera focuses on the ramp, where a group of officials are trying to prevent an ANGRY Tina (with a mic in hand) from making her way down to the ring. The crowd pops in the background upon spotting Tina. COLE This isn't good, fans. She doesn't need to be out here! Not in the shape she's in. We cut back to the ring, where Bryte looks on with a huge smile on his face. BRYTE Well look what we have here! (crowd pops) Tina, Tina, Tina! Don't you know when to leave well enough alone?! What...you haven't been humiliated enough by me?! Huh? On the ramp, officials plead with Tina to return to the locker room, but she doesn't. She raises her mic to her lips, huffing and puffing furiously as she addresses Bryte. TINA Chris...you worthless piece of shit! (crowd pops in the background) Lemme tell ya...you may have won the match last week, but this thing between me and you isn't over! I promise you that it isn't over, and it won't be over until you're the one that's lying in a hospital bed, and you never show your face in the OAOAST again! (another crowd pop) I swear, Chris, you're gonna pay! I don't care what I have to do, I'm gonna make you pay! The crowd pops once more as Tina tosses the mic down and again starts down to the ring, but is held back by officials. In the ring, Bryte yawns and rolls his eyes. BRYTE Tina...baby, I've heard this all before! Frankly, I'm sick and tired of hearing it! So ya know what...if you've got a problem, Tina, don't take it up with me... ...talk to THE HAND~! And with that, The Hand walks towards the ropes, exits the ring and starts up the ramp towards Tina. COLE Oh no! CABOOSE Now remember Cole, she had no business coming out here! COLE This monster's going after Tina! Damn it, get her outta here! He'll kill her! The officials leap into The Hand's path, but he cuts right through them, laying them out one by one before coming face to face with Tina. A look of fear comes across Tina's face as she locks eyes with the monster. The Hand then moves within striking range, but before he can attack, Tina leaps at him and staggers him with a forearm to the jaw! She follows up with a right hand. She rears back for a second right, but before she can follow through with the shot, The Hand reaches forward, grabs her by the head and locks on a clawhold. Tina screams in pain as he applies pressure. COLE Damn it! This man...The Hand has Tina in this clawhold! He's trying to squeeze the life outta Tina...my God, what's he doing now?! ::Tina swats at The Hand's arm, desperately trying to escape, but it's no use, and The Hand uses the clawhold to drag the helpless Tina down to ringside.. Once they reach the ringside area, The Hand releases the hold and rolls Tina into the ring. He starts to follow her in, but suddenly, a group of security guards rush out to ringside to stop him.:: COLE Thank God for those guards! This monster...Tina's down and she's hurt in the ring. This...Hand was gonna try and do some more damage to Tina... While The Hand is preoccupied with the officials on the floor, Tina pulls herself to a knee and tries to gather herself in the ring. A roar of boos comes up from the crowd as Bryte approaches Tina and uses the flat of his foot to shove her back down to the canvas. Bryte then begins to taunt her, hurling a number of insults at her before spitting right in her face! Suddenly... *WHAM* ...PANTHER hits the ring and FLOORS Bryte with a forearm shot to the back of the head. The crowd erupts as Panther tears into Bryte, pounding him with right hands and clubbing forearms to the back of the head. Quick quickly rolls out to the floor and runs to The Hand's side as chants of "PAN-THER, PAN-THER" echo throughout the arena. COLE Will you listen to this crowd?! CABOOSE What is he doing here?! He doesn't work here anymore, Cole! COLE Panther coming to the aid of Tina! He just tore into Chris Bryte, and now what! Bryte and The Hand stare Panther down from the floor as the guards attempt to keep both men calm. The Hand tries to go after Panther, but Bryte holds him back, and, instead, tells the security guards to arrest him (Panther). "HE DOESN'T WORK HERE!", yells Bryte before heading back up the ramp and disappearing into the dressing room. With Bryte gone, a few the guards hop upon the apron and order Panther out of the ring. Panther is about to oblige them, but just then, he glances over to his right and spots Tina, who's pulling herself back to her feet, and the crowd pops in the background as the two lock eyes for the first time since Living Anglelously. They eye one another for a good moment or two before Tina begins to approach Panther. When they go face to face, Panther drops his head and looks down at the mat, bringing a smile to Tina's face. She then places her right hand under Panther's chin and uses it to elevate his head, and with the two face to face once more, Tina puckers her lips, leans in and... ...Panther turns away, to everyone's bewilderment. Tina, somewhat surprised as well, just laughs it off and tries to go for another kiss, but again, Panther turns away. Tina's a bit flustered by Panther's reluctance, and tries to go for another kiss, this time wrapping her arms around him before leaning in. Panther squirms to free himself from her grip, and when that doesn't work... *BOOM* ...Panther shoves Tina to the mat. The crowd is in shock. COACH What the hell is Panther doing?! COLE I...I dunno. Panther just came to Tina's aid, and now he's shoved her to the mat...not allowing her to kiss him...I don't get it?! CABOOSE I don't blame him. If I wouldn't let her kiss me either. Word on the street is that she's got herpes. COLE Oh stop! Tina sits up on the canvas, looking up at Panther with a look of confusion on her face. Panther just sighs and mouths the words "I'm sorry" before sliding out to the floor, where the guards are waiting for him. Tina watches on as the guards escort Panther out of the building, and she lets loose a sad sigh as we fade to commercial. (Go to break) (Return from break) GENE "Mean" Gene backstage, awaiting the arrival of the self-proclaimed 'greatest rock 'n' wrestling band off all-time,' The Saints. We have word they should arrive any second now. I'm going to ask them about their match at The Great Angle Bash against GPX. W-wait. I see something. A BUS pulls up at the arena parking lot. "Saints & Sinners" is airbrushed on the sides, this is the Saints' tour bus. The bus stops and out come 10 beautiful women, followed by The Saints themselves. Logan & Synth fluff their hair with their left hand and slap the bottoms of the women with their right hand. Occassional HeldDown reporter "Mean" Gene walks up to the men. GENE Logan "Cowabunga" Mann & Synth Esizer, what's your reaction to J-Lo & Latin sensation Marc Anthony getting married? Logan becomes restless, Synth does his best to calm him down. SYNTH See whatcha done, Gramps? You're in the presence of the greatest rock 'n' wrestling band of all-time, and you're asking us about that man-eater's next failed conquest? Don'tcha know a former President of the United States died? Or what about finding out how NBC screwed up the American version of 'Coupling'? Mann & me just finished putting on a private concert for our lady friends -- some call 'em groupies, but we don't like to label people, Gene -- in the tour bus? GENE Appropriately called "Saints & Sinners." LOGAN Nice Gene, I couldn't help watching the entertainment shows and seeing Marc Anthony decline to comment about his next failed marriage. Stuff like that pisses me off. For better or for worse -- which, oddly, perfectly describes their current "marriage" -- you're a public figure, so answer the goddamn question, jerk-off! You suck! Your music sucks! Your tastes in women suck! For God's sake, you look like a reject from 'The Swan.' The producers saw your face and said, "Ugh. Ugly would be insulted if mentioned in the same breath as you." Oh, did I mention your music sucks? Yeah? Well, it still sucks! J-Lo. Oh, how could I forget you. You're ruining the sanctity of marriage, and The Saints don't even care about that because we're happy bangin' natural born females, and tieing the knot would deball us. If it wasn't for your ass, men would give two shits about you. Hell, I don't even give half-a-shit about you. Much like your new, deformed hubby -- you suck! Your music sucks! Your movies really suck! Your tastes in men suck! Ben over Matt? Get the fuck outta here! Matt's so cute, and the fucker can act. Shiiit! You should of stayed with P. Diddy, ho. Outside of the fact he gives his people a bad name, and likes to have 4 year-olds make his clothes -- you two at least liked each other. You let all the brothers down, P. The saying "once you've gone black, you never go back" has lost all its meaning thanks to you. Synth has been working his as-- dick off trying to rebuild its rep. Onto more important matters. I assume you're gonna ask us about our match at the P-P-V, eh? WHACK! A boombox is broken over Logan's head. Synth is speared into the bus. It's GPX! Scotty slingshots Logan into the side of the bus. Mann, who's busted open from the boombox shot, staggers around before getting nailed with a double team DDT. Payback for what happened to GPX two weeks ago. Johnny pounds Synth's head into the bus a couple of more times before driving him headfirst into Mann's groin. GPX mug for the cameras. They notice the fine lookin' ladies standing nearby and blow them a kiss, causing the ladies to giggle. Not only did GPX do a number of The Saints, they'll be doing their own private concert with the ladies, as they leave together. CABOOSE Great. Another GPX ambush. Where's the outrage? COLE Payback is payback. CABOOSE Why do the announces justify the actions of the "good guys"? If it's the other way around, it's a travasty. Why can't you be fair for once? COLE You do it as well. CABOOSE Yeah, well... screw you! Giorgio Moroder's "Chase" hits. COMING SOON A legendary manager will present... The rebirth of a legendary tag team... 3rd Time's The Charm... The New NEW Midnight Express COMING SOON (Return from break)

(Return from break) EARLIER TODAY The camera PANS around a jam-packed undisclosed nightclub from the club's balcony. It turns around to show a STRIPPER dancing. The camera slowly pans down her long, luscious legs, then pans back up, stopping at her boobs. The stripper seductively caresses his breast as she reaches behind her back to unbutton her lime-colored bra. A hand COVERS the camera lense. SCOTTY STATIC (Off Screen) Yo, yo, yo! Did somebody turn the lights off? Because I know the party ain't over. Scotty removes the hand from the lense. Through GPX's handheld camera, we see a pair of classic 1989 Nike Air Jordan's. The camera pans up to reveal...JOHNNY "JAM" JACKSON. JOHNNY Dang, bro, you know the FCC is crankin' back on lewdless on the telly, we can't show that. SCOTTY I hear that. I'm just trying to have some fun, considering what's gone down. Johnny pulls out a handful of cash from his pocket. The stripper's eyes light up at the sight of cash. JJ selects a bill and shows it to Scotty. CLOSE-UP: $1 JOHNNY (handing the dollar to the stripper) Here ya go, sugar mama. Save a dance for us. "$1 dollar? Fuck you!" says the Stripper. But due to the loud synthesizer music blasting GPX couldn't hear. JOHNNY What did she say? SCOTTY Something about you being hung like a horse. JOHNNY More like a cow's tonuge. The guys laugh hard at that one. Scotty holds the camera back so we can see the two together. SCOTTY You know, guys and dolls, the last two weeks have been tough on us. After HeldDown we went to visit OAOAST head trainer Dr. Ima Hoe at OAOAST HQs in NYC. We got some good and bad newz that day. Good: We landed a walk-on role on Law & Order: SVU. JOHNNY Skool'd Ice-T is rappin' contests. SCOTTY That was killer. But we gotta mention meeting Mr. Slate, Dan Florek. JOHNNY That was sweet. That was sweet. Now we've met all the stars of the first Flintstones movie. SCOTTY And the bad -- Dr. Hoe diagnosed us with a severe case of Pissed Offenness. Side effects include: winning the OAOAST Tag Team Championship, kickin' The Saints' asses, and meeting Jerry Orbach. JOHNNY We're down with the Big O...and O.P.P. Yeah, you remember him? SCOTTY Yeah, our egos may be a lil' bruised because two new cats in heat decided to crash the Xchange. But this message goes out to The Saints. You like to jack us from behind? Well homies, we're down with getting down in the gutter. Snyth Esizer & "Cowabunga" Mann, you set the rules. And we'll be more than happy to play by them. JOHNNY Speaking of sending messages. Daddy-o's and mommy-a's, put your girls back inside, because da par-tay is about to get started. SCOTTY Black T, don't think for one minute we've stopped thinking of you. You're wearing something that'll belong to us in due time. JOHNNY GPX over and out. (Go the arena) *Tear Away by Drowning Pool begins and the fans rise to their feet to boo. As the music hits it’s “breaking point” Rick makes his way out with J. Arthur and the boos intensify.* COLE Here comes the current X-Division Champ and the fans are really letting him have it. CABOOSE They’re proving him right as they boo him. COACH All I know is I went to see him in the hospital, but I couldn’t find the room. CABOOSE Like he’d care about you anyway? *Rick slides into the ring and rests in the corner as his music dies down. Buffer looks at him and just tosses the mic to him.* MICHAEL BUFFER You do the announcing. I’m not even messing with this when you’re around anymore. RICK Alrighty then. From Houston, Texas comes the greatest X Champ of all time…ME!!!! *The fans boo and chant “you suck”* *My Hero by The Foo Fighters begins and the fans cheer for the returning Leon Rodez. Leon makes his way onto the stage wearing a long robe and posing for the fans. The women cheer especially loud as he gives a girl in the third row a wink.* RICK Coming to the ring…from somewhere…weighing in at what looks to be about 400 pounds…lose some weight tubby…Leon…dammit Buffer I can’t read your handwriting on this card! Leon…Silky Legs?...Rodez!! *J. Arthur laughs in the background* *Rodez has enough and slides into the ring before quickly nailing Rick with a right hand. Rick staggers back, shakes off the effects, tosses the mic in the air and then kicks Rodez in the gut when he goes for the mic.* COLE What a cheap trick! COACH Where!? I love Cheap Trick! CABOOSE Geez…how many times has that joke been used? *Ding Ding Ding* Rick whips Leon to the corner, but Leon runs up the turnbuckles and flies off with a Cross Body. He lands in a pinning predicament, but Rick kicks out quickly after a 1 count. COLE This one is off to an explosive start! Rick shoves Leon off of him after the one count and pulls himself up by the ropes. As he reaches his feet he comes face to face with Rodez and slaps him. Rodez looks stunned before retaliating with a European Uppercut. Rick staggers back and answers with a loud chop. Rodez goes for a punch, but Rick ducks and wraps his arms around Rodez’ waist for a Northern Lights Suplex. 1 No!!! Both men stand and are quickly becoming pissed at each other. They lock up and shove each other around the ring for a few moments while trying to get control. Finally Rick backs him up into a corner and whips him across, but Rodez reverses and Rick hits the corner back first. Rodez then runs in, hoists himself onto Rick’s shoulders, and brings him down with a Flying Head Scissors. Rick flies across the ring and comes up groggy. Rodez meets him with another hard European Uppercut that knocks him back against the ropes. He then whips Rick across the ring and nails a Flying Forearm before kipping up and bowing to the crowd. *The fans erupt* CABOOSE What a show off! COLE I thought you liked show offs? CABOOSE Only ones that aren’t annoying as hell. COACH I think he’s great. CABOOSE You would. Rick slowly pulls himself up with a confused look in his eyes. He then bails to the outside for a breather. Rick makes his way to the announce table and swipes a water bottle. He then drinks some and tosses the bottle aside. COACH Hey that’s mine! CABOOSE Oh stop your whining. J. Arthur cheers him own, but he suddenly points to the ring and tells Rick to turn around. Rick turns around as he hears the crowd cheer and he sees Rodez fly off the top rope with a Quebrada to the outside! As he moonsaults through the air Rick catches him over his shoulder and then runs forward, slamming his back into the ring post! Rodez hits the mat in pain as Rick slides back into the ring to gloat. COLE I can’t believe he caught him!! COACH How bout that? Rick is showing off now! CABOOSE Yeah, but I like him. COACH You would. Rick then returns to the outside to scoop up Rodez and slide him into the ring. Rick then climbs to the top rope and waits for him to stand. Rodez slowly makes it to his feet just to be taken back down by a Missile Dropkick. Rick makes the cover. 1 2 No!!! Rick then picks him back up and goes for a Russian Leg Sweep, but Rodez starts to elbow him in the gut and breaks free. Rodez then Snap Mares him over and bounces off the ropes for a Low Dropkick to Rick’s back. Rick snaps back and lies on the mat in pain as Rodez tells the ladies that he’s alright. COACH I bet the ladies are happy now…I bet I could make them happier. CABOOSE By leaving? Rick starts to push himself off the mat, but Rodez quickly performs an Oklahoma Roll. 1 2 No!!! Both men stand up and Rodez goes to kick Rick in the gut, but Rick catches his foot and pulls him forward right into a hard Clothesline. Rick then waits for Rodez to stand and goes for the Doomsday Kick…but Rodez catches his leg and Rick falls to the mat. Rodez holds onto the leg and turns him over into a Half Boston Crab. COLE What a counter!! Rodez sits down deep into the move as Rick struggles for the ropes. The pain is evident on Rick’s face as he desperately reaches for the ropes…and he gets to them. The ref calls for a break as Rodez lets go and stands. Rodez then waves Rick on as he begins to stand. Rick makes it to his knees when Rodez runs in and hits a Shining Wizard!! COLE OH MY GOD!!! CABOOSE Dammit for a second there I thought you were Joey Styles! Rodez goes for a cover. 1 2 3 No!!! COLE Rick barely kicked out! We almost had a new X Champion! Rodez then pulls Rick to his feet and sets him up for a Sitdown Sunset Bomb, but Rick manages to fight it and hit a Back Body Drop! As Rick gets him up and over he falls back to one knee as J. Arthur cheers him on from the outside. Rick slowly stands up and tries to regain his composure. As he rests Rodez stands up again, but this time J. Arthur trips him up and he falls to the mat! COLE Oh come on!!! COACH JAE is trippin’!!! CABOOSE Oh you didn’t just say that! Rodez holds his face in pain before looking back at JAE and yelling. The ref tells JAE to back away from the ring. While the ref is distracted Rick hits a low blow from behind and then hits the Rough Break Neckbreaker on him! COLE Oh son of a bitch!! The ref is still yelling at JAE, who hasn’t left ringside, but Rick yells for the ref to turn and then makes the cover. 1 2 3 No!!! Rodez kicks out!! COLE I can’t believe it!!! CABOOSE I can’t believe how slow this ref is! Rick can’t believe it either and tells the ref about it. Rick then picks Rodez back up by the head and goes for the Superman’s Dead, but as he lifts him up Rodez drops behind him and hits a Diving Reverse DDT! The move took a lot out of an already fatigued Rodez and he is slow to move. Finally he drapes an arm over Rick for the cover. 1 2 3 No!!! Rick kicks out!! Rodez then slowly pulls Rick to his feet by the head and goes for the Sitdown Sunset Bomb again. Rodez gets him up in the Styles Clash position, but Rick breaks a leg free and starts kicking Rodez in the face. Rick then slips out and stands up in front of Rodez where he grabs him, spins him around, hooks his head, and lifts him up for the Superman’s Dead! He pulls him up with the Inverted Vertical Suplex and yet again Rodez drops behind him! Rodez spins him around and hits a Swinging Neckbreaker. Both men lie on the mat for a second before Rodez rolls over and makes another cover. 1 2 3 No!!! COLE Leon Rodez refuses to quit! CABOOSE Kind of like Coach here. COACH Yeah I am quite tenacious. CABOOSE Terrible is more like it. Rodez slowly stands and pulls Rick up by the hair, but Rick breaks free and nails Rodez with four right hands. He then whips Rodez to the ropes and blasts him in the face with a Back Elbow. Rodez goes down and Rick bounces off the ropes for a Flipping Legdrop. Instead of going for a cover Rick pulls him up again and goes for the Superman’s Dead. He gets him up and again Rodez lands behind him. Rodez then goes for a Backdrop Suplex, but Rick flips through and lands on his feet behind Rodez! COLE Will you look at that! Rick grabs Rodez again for the Superman’s Dead. This time he hoists him up with the Inverted Vertical suplex and then…drops him with a Diamond Cutter on the way down to finish the move. COLE Dammit that’s it! 1 2 3!!! *Ding Ding Ding* CABOOSE You have to admit that was a hard fought victory! COLE Yes it was. Rodez had it almost won a few times there. *Rick has his hand raised as he slides out of the ring and high fives JAE before heading to the back with his X-Title in hand. He stops and comes back to ringside where he grabs a mic.* RICK I almost forgot. Here’s your winner and still X-Division Champ…ME!!!!! *Rick then tosses the mic back to Buffer and leaves the ringside area and goes to the back. The fans boo loudly as Rick taunts them all the way.* COLE What a cocky bastard. I hope he's ready for whoever he's facing at the PPV! COACH Hey! Maybe Rick Edwards will be Northstar’s partner tonight! COLE Coach, that would make zero sense! Please think before you speak. Besides I can’t take seeing Rick anymore tonight. We’ll be back! (Go to break)

We cut to Locker Room A, where Crystal and AJ Flaire are sitting at their lockers, looking nervous, as Sly Sommers is on his cell phone with someone. He hangs up, and both Crystal and AJ get up and draw towards him. CRYSTAL So, what'd they say? SLY Well, according to the Board of Directors, Gunner's now suspended without pay until July 1st for hitting Zack's rat, which means that we now only have three members for our War Games team. The thing is, we don't even get to pick our replacement. Since they're placing all of the blame on Gunner, they're punishing our team as a whole by choosing our replacement for us. CRYSTAL What time's he coming by then? SLY Actually, he isn't coming by tonight. He's coming by next week. CRYSTAL DAMN IT! What the hell? They can't do this to our team! AJ Our team?!?! They can't do this to my friend! SLY Well, they can and they have. I know, it's total b.s., but we have the talent... AJ Don't give me any of that rah-rah crap...hell, I don't even know if I can trust you, let alone buy into the flowery seasoning you're trying to pour over our crappy situation to make everyone happy...how do we know you aren't still with them? CRYSTAL We just do! SLY (gets up out of chair to go face-to-face with AJ) You know what? Maybe I am with them...but then again, I'll say to you, crossing my heart, that I'm not. You don't know if you can trust me, and I know that scares you. You need to turn that fear into anger...anger towards the Thrillogy. Those jackasses were the ones who injured your friend Axel and sent him to who-knows-where! Those morons were the same guys who drove your buddy Gunner to the deep end and got him suspended just now. We're all on the same team here...whether you choose to believe or not. AJ You wanna play games? Play games with yourself! (AJ storms out of the room) CRYSTAL Hey, don't worry about him. He'll be back; he blows up all the time. We have a tag match to worry about. We have to go out there and get revenge on Hoff and Calvin from last week. After we're done with these two, then we can worry about our inner-team problems. Both leave the room. (CUT TO BREAK) ********************* MC Well, as you just saw there, our Board of Directors have suspended Gunner Sharps for striking Candie backstage earlier in our show, which means that Crystal, Sly Sommers, and AJ Flaire are down a man as they head into war on June 27th. COACH Here's my question: we have two three-man teams for War Games...who's the fourth man for either side? CABOOSE The Thrillogy ain't dumb enough to let all of their cards show just yet! Their fourth man isn't gettin' revealed until the very last possible minute! MC The "Fourth Man Mystery" is one that will surround this feud as we head into the Great Angle Bash. But right now, we have an explosive tag team encounter to go to as we head to the ring! ("Set It Off" starts up, as we see Sly Sommers and Crystal come out together and the crowd cheers loudly...) BUFFER The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall, and has a thirty minute time limit. Introducing first, weighing in tonight a combined weight of 323 pounds...the team of Sly "The Sly" Sommers and "The Female Phenom" CRYSTAAAAAAAL! MC Hey, here's some team unity...Crystal and Sly are coming out together and they're both alternated their ring gear a little, wearing red and black in unity! CABOOSE Big deal...it just means that Sly's one of those gay guys who likes dressing like his female friends. COACH You wanna get us kicked off the air, homophobe? Stop talkin'. ("I'm the Bomb" by Electric Six then starts up, as Calvin Szechstein and Hoff come out, both sporting new royal-blue versions of their usual tights, with "Thrillogy" written in small, white letters right underneath the waistband on the front of their tights.) BUFFER Their opponents....at a combined weight of 472 pounds...they are the team of Calvin Szechstein and the 24/7 Champion Hoff....the THRIIIIIIILOGY! CABOOSE How about THIS show of unity, eh? COACH I think that's just them wanting to flaunt their wealth by buying new ring gear just for one match. MC Let's not fight over ring gear, and instead discuss about how this tag match is a combination of two singles matches from last week, as Hoff retained his 24/7 Title in a match against Sly that got a bit bloody, and Calvin defeated Crystal under dubious circumstances. CABOOSE Whatever...Zack was just there for moral support. COACH What's impressive about this contest is the amount of title lineage here, as we have two former 24/7 Champions, the current 24/7 Champion, a former X Champion, and a former World Champion! MC That is impressive. ::DING:: ::DING:: Sly and Crystal are still strategizing, with Sly in the ring and Crystal on the apron. Calvin comes up from behind and brings him over with an early schoolboy.... 1.... 2.... Kickout. Both men get right back up, and Crystal slingshots herself over the top rope to give Calvin a flying headscissors. Hoff then runs into the ring. Crystal runs at him and throws a dropkick, but he swats it away. Crystal gets back up and goes for a bodypress, but Hoff catches her and drops her with a devastating backbreaker! As Hoff shoves Crystal off of his knee at the end of the attempt, Sly runs at Hoff. He jumps on Hoff's knee, as if going for the Shining Wizard. But instead, Sly nails a Shining Rana! COACH How's that for innovation? Sly comes back up and Calvin charges at him. Sly blocks whatever Calvin was going for and nails a sitdown hiptoss. Sly and Crystal then pull Hoff up and whip him to the ropes. Both then lift Hoff, and get him up and down for a double flapjack! Hoff rolls to the apron as Sly kicks the rising Cal in the stomach. Crystal then hooks Cal's head in Ace Crusher form. Sly grabs Crystal's foot and flips her over to nail a partner-assisted Sliced Bread #2! MC Unskinny bop bop! COACH We seriously need to stop stealing indy feds' gimmicks... Calvin rolls to the outside, where he meets up with Hoff. Sly then goes to their side while in the ring and launches himself over the top rope and onto Calvin with a pescado! Crystal then goes up top, and dives onto Hoff! But, Hoff catches her. Hoff then tosses her back into the ring. Hoff slides into the ring, and Crystal dives into wheelbarrow position as he gets to his feet. She pushes off of the mat and goes for a bulldog. But, he grabs her before she goes down and sends her down hard with a side suplex into a sitdown uranage slam! CABOOSE She just went SPLAT! Hoff then pulls her off of the mat, having her locked in a front facelock, and drags her to the Thrillogy corner, where Calvin had come to a few seconds earlier and was still shaking off the cobwebs. Hoff tags in Cal. Hoff then lifts Crystal's arm so that Cal can kick her well in the mid-section. Calvin then sends her off to the ropes and connects with a jumping back elbow as she comes back. Calvin then kips up, backs up into the ropes, and nails a jumping kneedrop. COACH Wasn't that a bit cocky? CABOOSE If you were Calvin Szechstein, wouldn't you be cocky? Calvin then pulls Crystal up and locks in a headlock. He cranks on that for about ten seconds before then dropping her on her face with a side drop toe hold. Calvin then slides into position and locks in a front facelock. Crystal is somehow able to break Calvin's grip of her neck and reverse to a go-behind into a grounded waistlock. Calvin gets to his knees, breaks Crystal's grip around his waist, and pulls her onto her back on the mat. He then dives down and locks in a headlock. CABOOSE That's how a man does things! MC He tries to squeeze the life out of a woman like a man? CABOOSE Shut up! Crystal can't squeeze her head out of the headlock, so she wraps her arms around Cal's left arm and her legs around Cal's right arm to bring him over with a crucifix pin................1..................2...............kickout! Both pop back up, and Calvin immediately locks in a front facelock yet again. Calvin converts that into a snapmare about six seconds later, and follows up with a rear chinlock. He then pulls her up with a headlock and brings her over with a headlock takedown. Calvin pulls her back up, and drops her with another headlock takeover. Calvin again pulls her up with the headlock, and puts her back down with the headlock takeover. COACH It may be repetitive, but Calvin's being smart and trying to wear down the smaller, quicker opponent and slow her down. Crystal tries the crucifix reversal from before to get out of the move, but Cal rolls all the way back onto his feet with Crystal latched onto him, and nails a perfectly done Finley roll. Calvin goes for the pin........1...............2.........kickout. Calvin pulls her up with a front facelock before she gets a chance to get back up, and drags her to the Thrillogy corner, where he tags in Hoff. Calvin drives Crystal down on his knee gut-first. Hoff then comes into the ring and delivers a legdrop to the back of her head. CABOOSE Very smart double-team work here...they're splitting the ring in half and using their five second breaks to their advantage. Hoff pulls Crystal up, and whips her to the ropes. Hoff then nearly beheads Crystal with a stiff lariat, causing her to flip onto her stomach from the impact! Hoff then locks in a front facelock, and starts delivering repeated stiff knee strikes to the top of her skull. Hoff then gets bored with that and pulls Crystal up. He butterflies her arms and brings her over with a double-underhook suplex. He then rolls that into a butterfly lock. MC The one positive thing I will say about Hoff is that since he's joined up with Zack and Calvin, he has learned how to use his brute power to his advantage for even the most basic holds and manuevers to make them more painful and devastating. Hoff accidentally threw the suplex too far, as Crystal is easily able to get to the ropes to break the butterfly lock. Hoff pulls Crystal away from the ropes while still having her arms butterfly-hooked, and nails a butterfly gutbuster in the center of the ring. Hoff then locks her in a cobra clutch, drags her to the Thrillogy corner, and tags in Calvin. Calvin then connects with three thrust kicks to Crystal's ribs before Hoff has to let go and go to the apron. CABOOSE Once again, smart tag team wrestling with the quick tags. Calvin then lifts Crystal for a side suplex, and drops her on his knee with a snap gutbuster. Calvin grabs her in that position and nails a Stroke. Calvin then pulls Crystal up, twists around with an armwringer, and whips her to a far corner. Calvin charges at her, and connects with a flying double-knee to her chest. Calvin then nails a reverse Walters Backbreaker on her (he grabs Crystal by the back of her neck with both hands as he faces her, jumps up, falls on his back with his knees sticking up, and drives her chest-first into his knees). Calvin then lifts Crystal up and slams her back down to the mat. Calvin goes to the second rope and connects with a vicious double stomp! COACH That'll knock the wind out of her, if the rest of this offense doesn't! Calvin turns her onto her stomach and lifts her to her feet with a double chicken wing. Calvin then lifts her up with the double chicken wing, ala Jazz. He turns his head and spits at Sly, causing Sly to try and enter the ring. The referee's distracted as Calvin walks over to his corner and lets Hoff get in some stiff forearm shots to Crystal's stomach. Calvin backs up as he sees the referee turning around. He then charges into the corner, crushing Crystal's ribs and back in the process. Calvin then tags in Hoff, and both Thrillogy members stomp the heck out of Crystal in the corner. MC Is this necessary? CABOOSE Hell yes. Hoff pulls her up, grabs onto her, and performs a huge release Northern Lights suplex! Hoff then goes over to her and locks in an inverted horizontal bow-and-arrow lock, stretching out her mid-section. After Hoff is finished punishing her that way, he lifts her into a slam position, gets to both feet, and performs a fallaway slam so hard that she ends up flipping back onto her face! Hoff then stands above her, pulls her head up, and starts delivering stiff crossface shots to the side of her face and jaw! COACH Those could kill anyone! After Hoff finishes with those brutal shots, he pulls Crystal up, lifts her in a side suplex position, and drops her with a version of the Blue Thunder Driver, flipping her onto her face instead of using it as a sit-down powerbomb! Hoff then goes for the cover..........1............2..........kickout. Hoff then gets up and mocks Sly , which causes Sly to again come out of the corner and the referee to have to block him from entering. Cal then comes into the ring and lies down on his stomach with his knees sticking up. Hoff hooks Crystal's legs underneath his armpits and slingshots her stomach-first onto Calvin's knees! CABOOSE What a devastating move! MC If Sly can't keep his temper down, he could cost his team the victory! Calvin slaps his hands together to signify a fake tag, as Hoff sneaks out of the ring and the referee turns around. Cal then hooks Crystal's arm and neck, and locks in an STO choke. Crystal starts kicking the mat with her right foot to try and get the crowd to clap in unison to get behind her. They loudly start clapping and screaming, and she uses that energy to start to move her way upward. She slowly gets up to her feet, as Calvin comes up as well and tries what he can to keep the choke locked in. Crystal startes elbowing Calvin in the stomach to escape. She gets out of the choke, but Calvin grabs her by the hair at the last split-second and pulls her into a Flatliner. COACH Wasn't that a bit on the underhanded side? CABOOSE A hand is a hand...whether it be over or under. Calvin then locks in a full nelson camel clutch with Crystal's feet pointing to the Thrillogy's corner. As the referee checks to see if Crystal will submit, Hoff reaches into the ring and lifts up on Crystal's feet to add pressure to the move. The referee sees something out of the corner of his eye, and Hoff quickly lets go of Crystal. As the referee questions Hoff, Calvin pulls on Crystal's hair for added leverage. After Hoff smooths things over with the referee, Calvin lets go of Crystal's hair and the referee goes back to his position. Hoff goes back to lifting on Crystal's legs. The referee again sees something out of the corner of his eye, but Hoff doesn't notice the referee getting up. The referee then catches Hoff in the act and orders for the hold to be broken. CABOOSE WHAT? MC Finally, justice is served! Calvin pulls Crystal up, lifts her, and nails a front-face suplex. Calvin then connects with a Franchise Neck Snap (Hennig Neck Snap from the opposite direction) and bridges to turn it into a submission. Crystal reaches out frantically and screams in pain, but won't tap. Calvin tires of this easily, so he rolls backwards, keeping her in a front facelock, and drives her down face-first. Calvin then pulls her up with her neck locked in a cravate. Calvin drives her face into his knee twice, and then brings her over with a cravate suplex. COACH It's obvious by now that, by working over her throat and mid-section, that they're trying to gas her out so she gets tired and simply passes out. Calvin goes for the cover...........1...............2..............kickout! Calvin gets up and waits for Crystal to get to her feet. He ends up giving her too much time, as when he charges at her when she gets up, she sends him down with a drop toe hold. Both competitors come back up, and Crystal ducks a clothesline from Calvin to bring him over with a schoolgirl... 1...... 2..... Kickout. Both come back up, and Crystal connects with an impressive dropsault. Both go down, and Crystal's so worn down that she ends up staying down as well. Both competitors end up crawling to their partners as the referee counts them down. As he gets to six, Calvin tags in Hoff, who runs into the ring and drops an elbow on Crystal to keep her from tagging out. CABOOSE Another smart tactic from the Thrillogy! Hoff pulls Crystal up, and clubbers her with repeated Vader-style side hammer forearms to her head, sending her down to a kneeling position. A knee strike to the face ends up sending her down on her back. Hoff then shows off his impressive power by picking her up by her legs in a powerbomb position, and flapjacking her onto her face! Hoff then rolls through, keeps Crystal in a piledriver position as he gets to his feet, and drops her with a DDP-style front flapjack. Hoff then pulls her up with a gutwrench, lifts her, and drops her with a gutwrench gutbuster. MC More concentration on pounding the energy out of the Female Phenom! Hoff then lifts Crystal in torture rack position, and drops her into yet another gutbuster! Hoff holds onto her arm, pulls her up by it, and connects with a short-arm big boot! Hoff then tags out to Cal. Cal connects with an Eddie Guerrero-style slingshot senton into the ring and onto Crystal. Calvin then pulls her further away from the ropes and locks in an inverted abdominal stretch on the ground. However, he doesn't pull her far enough away, as she quickly scoots into a rope break. Crystal pulls herself up with the ropes, and dazily wanders into a fisherman's gutbuster by Calvin. CABOOSE They will not rest until this woman is passed out on the ground...much like Michael Cole's dating strategy. Calvin waits for Crystal to get up. When she does, he comes off of the ropes and sends her down with a shoulderblock. He then nails a jumping legdrop, rolls backwards onto his feet, comes off of the ropes, and nails a running cannonball senton! Calvin then lifts Crystal up and hangs her in a reverse tree of woe in a neutral corner. Cal hooks Crystal's head and drops her with an inverted Ace Crusher out of that position. He follows up by rolling backwards and locking in the Dragon Clutch! MC I think she might tap! However, Crystal has different ideas. She slowly works her way out of the reverse arch position that Cal has her in, and starts fighting her way out of his clutches. When she finally escapes the hold, she scores with a go-behind into a reverse DDT. Both slowly make it to their feet, and Calvin grabs Crystal's foot to trip her up and cause her from tagging out. He drags her to the Thrillogy corner and tags out using his foot. Hoff then comes into the ring and delivers a legdrop to the back of her head. Hoff then lifts her up into a gorilla press position and drops her throat-first onto the top rope! CABOOSE What a showing of strength there! Crystal bounces off of the ropes into a stiff clothesline to her back, sending her down throat-first onto the middle rope. Hoff then wraps his leg around the middle rope with her in between, and starts choking. He lets go right before the referee's five count ends. Hoff then kicks her in the back of the head to send her to the outside. Hoff distracts the referee as Calvin drops to the outside and whips Crystal, hard into the guardrail. Calvin then lifts Crystal up and drops her throat-first on the top of the guardrail. COACH Yay for illegal tactics...ugh. Calvin then tosses her back into the ring, and Hoff immediately goes for the cover... 1....... 2........ The referee sees that Crystal's foot is on the bottom rope and orders a rope break. Hoff then tags Calvin back in. Hoff holds Crystal up in a full nelson as Calvin nails a dropkick to her face. Hoff goes to the corner as Calvin pulls Crystal up with her head hooked, and drops her with a reverse suplex. He holds on, turns her over, pulls her up, and nails another. He does the same thing, and nails the third reverse suplex in the chain. Calvin pulls Crystal up and his the Double Shot (face-to-knee into floatover neckbreaker). He then goes for the cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Calvin then starts stomping away at her, leading into a low dropkick to the head when she tries to get up. Cal pulls her up, comes off of the ropes, and nearly kicks her face off with a Yakuza kick! Calvin goes for the pin... 1.... 2.... Kickout! Calvin then pulls Crystal up and nails a Russian legsweep. He holds on, rolls backwards, and nails a Russian legsweep that sends Crystal back-first into a neutral corner. Calvin then goes to the second rope, hooks her by the neck, and nails a flipping neckbreaker! Calvin goes for the pin... 1... 2... Rope break! Calvin pulls Crystal up, and drops her with an STO onto his knee; then pulls her up and drops her with a regular STO. Calvin then drags her over to her corner, mockingly holding out her hand for a tag to Sly, but pulling back as soon as Sly gets within reaching distance. Calvin locks Crystal in a cobra clutch and works her down to the ground. Her eyes get glassy, and eventually shut. The referee starts the hand-raise check... 1.... 2..... But, she keeps her hand up on the third raise! The crowd starts to chant her name and clap to get her energy flowing. She starts feeling it, and works her way upward, as Calvin is looking at her in disbelief. She eventually gets onto one knee, pops up, and escapes the move with a jumping jawbreaker! Both are down, and they start slowly crawling to their corners to get to their partners... COACH Come on, Crystal! You can do it! CABOOSE Shut up! No, she can't! They both struggle to their corners, and Calvin wins the chase, as he tags in Hoff first. Hoff comes in to try and stop her, but she rolls forward right before he gets to her, and tags out! Sly immediately springboards to the top rope and sends Hoff down with a flying clothesline! Both men come up, and Sly nails a flying headscissors takeover that sends Hoff face-first into a neutral middle turnbuckle! Sly then jumps to the second rope, and does a leaping turn-around to bring Hoff over with a sunset flip... 1.... 2.... Kickout! Both men come back up, and Sly nails Hoff with a flying clothesline. Hoff almost goes down, but Sly makes sure he goes all of the way down with a spinning wheel kick. Sly then goes to the second rope as Hoff stumbles to his feet. Hoff turns around and Sly nails a leaping tornado DDT. Sly goes for the pin... 1.... 2.... Kickout! Sly kicks Hoff in the stomach as soon as he gets up, and sets up for the piledriver. However, Hoff isn't out of it enough and ends up going for a backdrop. Sly reverses that into a sunset flip... 1... 2.... Kickout! As Hoff kicks out, Sly rolls back onto his feet and charges forward to connect with a knee to the face! Sly sits Hoff up and goes to the apron. Sly then connects with a slingshot Hennig Neck Snap! Sommers then drags Hoff to center ring and goes up top. Sly takes off and nails the top rope elbow drop! Sly goes for the pin... 1... 2... Calvin comes in and breaks it up! Calvin then lifts Sly for a suplex, drops him face-first onto his knee, and goes for the Code Red Clash. But, before Calvin can grab Sly's legs, Sly sits down and drops Calvin on his face! Sly then pulls Calvin up and goes for the One Hit Wonder. But, Hoff strikes him from behind to break it up. Hoff then hooks Sly for the Rock Bottom, but Crystal springboards to the top rope and dropkicks him from behind. She goes for the Crystalizing on Hoff, but Calvin breaks that up with a stiff Yakuza kick. MC BRUTAL! CABOOSE Lay off of the caffeine! Calvin then lifts Crystal for a suplex and drops her with a stunner (the Osaka Street Cutter). Calvin then goes up top, looking to be going for the 450 Splash. Out of nowhere, Sly runs up the ropes and armdrags Calvin to the mat. Sly holds onto Calvin's arm, pulls him up, and nails the One Hit Wonder! Sly goes for the cover... 1... 2.... Kickout! Sly then pulls Calvin up with a front facelock, and goes for the Overnight Sensation. But, Hoff takes him down with a stiff clothesline before he hits it. Hoff then lifts Sly, and goes for the H-Bomb. Calvin has stumbled up by now, but Crystal dropkicks him from behind to send him into Hoff to mess up his move. Calvin then turns around, and Crystal lifts and drops him with Zack Malibu's P.O.P. Drop! CABOOSE That's thievery! MC I think she's sending a message to the Champ! Crystal goes for the pin... 1... 2... Hoff breaks it up! Sly charges at Hoff, but gets dropped with the Angry Man Slam (front spinebuster)! Hoff roars as he pops back up, but gets attacked by Crystal. Crystal goes for the Irish whip, but Hoff's too big and strong to send running. He ends up pulling her to him and tossing her to the floor. Calvin gets to his feet, and him and Hoff both pull Sly up. They then lift him and drop him with a double-team side backbreaker. Hoff then lifts Sly for an over-the-shoulder powerslam position, and drops him throat-first onto the top rope! COACH What brute power! Hoff pulls Sly up, and drops him with a big sitdown powerbomb! He looks to be going for the pin, but Calvin tells him to get off of Sly. Calvin then pulls up Sly and puts him up on his shoulders in fireman's carry position. He tells Hoff to join in, so he gets underneath Sly and holds him while facing the opposite way of Calvin. Both Thrillogy members then drop Sly with a double Death Valley Driver! CABOOSE That's it! Calvin then goes up top and signals for the 450. But, out of nowhere, Crystal hops up from the floor to shake the top rope and crotch Cal. He falls to the apron. Hoff runs at Crystal, but runs into a shoulder charge to the stomach. She then connects with a legdrop guillotine on the middle rope. Hoff then stumbles backwards into a schoolboy by Sly... 1.... 2.... Kickout! Crystal springboards to the top rope as Hoff rolls onto his feet, but Hoff catches her flying hurricanrana attempt. But, Sly dropkicks Hoff, and he falls back into a pin attempt by Crystal... 1... 2... Kickout! Hoff gets up, and Sly tries to bring Hoff down by the arm for the Cravateface! But, Hoff's able to stay on his feet. Crystal then grabs his other arm, and both competitors take down Hoff and apply a double-team regular crossface submission! Calvin quickly gets off of the apron and dives at them to break it up. Calvin quickly pulls Sly up and nails a snap DDT. Calvin pulls Crystal up, and gets her in position for a Kryptonite Krunch. But, she wiggles her way out and ends up getting Calvin in piledriver position...and nails the CANADIAN DESTROYER (flip piledriver)! MC He's DEAD! COACH I wouldn't doubt it! She goes for the pin... 1... 2... Hoff breaks up the pin attempt! Hoff then goes for a powerbomb, but Sly nails an STO before he can lift her, and she rolls through as he falls back into a cradle... 1.... 2.... Kickout! Both Hoff and Crystal get up, and she goes to spear him. He side-steps, and she accidentally spears the ref! Hoff turns around and tosses Sly with a double choke lift into a powerbomb! Hoff then charges at Crystal, but she ducks and he goes flying over the top rope and to the floor. Calvin walks towards Crystal, and she scores with a double legsweep. She then grapevines his legs, turns him over, and locks in the Crystalizing! She sits down with it as he's tapping out! CABOOSE Stop tapping, Calvin! MC It's no use...the referee's out cold! She cranks back on it, but out of nowhere, some fan slides into the ring and knocks Crystal out cold with a superkick. But, this isn't just any fan...it's Zack Malibu! CABOOSE Yay, the Champ is here! COACH This is bullcrap! Zack drags Calvin onto Crystal, and Malibu hops out of the ring as the referee dazily crawls over.... 1..... 2.... 3! BUFFER Your winners of the contest...the Thrillogy, Calvin Szechstein and Hoff! MC Come on! What in the hell? CABOOSE It's a show of team unity, you dumbass! Zack pulls Calvin out of the ring, and both him and Hoff help Calvin to the back. They walk up the ramp as Sly tends to Crystal. The Thrillogy members turn around at the top of the ramp to look back at Sly and Crystal and laugh. MC That makes me sick! Hopefully Zack will get his tonight as he and Candie go against Northstar and a mystery partner. COACH We’ll be back! (Go to break)

COLE Folks, we've got word that Gunner Sharps is in the back, we've got a camera on him-- *cut to the back* We see a shot of Gunner, storming down a hallway in the back with a scowl on his face and FIRE~ in his eyes. COACH There he is! COLE Folks, Gunner was unable to attend HeldDOWN last week due to personal issues, but he appears to be back tonight with a vengeance! CABOOSE Awwww, poor Gunner is sad because big bad Hoffie chaired his best buddie...how sweet. COLE You are a sick human being, Caboose. CABOOSE That's me, baby. Gunner turns a corner, barging into a door clearly marked "Thrillogy." COLE What the? CABOOSE Hey, he can't go in there! The cameras follow Gunner as he SHOVES the door almost off its hinges, bursting in the room to find...Candie. COACH Candie! Nice! COLE COACH! COACH What? I love dem tittays~! Sitting on a folding chair, Candie jumps back, startled, shrinking back slightly against the wall. GUNNER WHERE ARE THEY?! The fans go BANANA as Gunner looks posessed. CANDIE I don't know! GUNNER BULL*bleep*!!!!!!!!!!!!!~! The fans explode as Gunner CURSES! Gunner advances into the locker room... GUNNER I'll ask you one more time, WHERE ARE THEY!!!!!~!~!??~!? CANDIE I don't kno--aieee! Gunner storms across the room and grabs Candie, throwing her into a locker! Candie shrinks down, holding her head as she crouches down. The fans quiet down a bit. COLE Whoa, Gunner... COACH He didn't have to do that! What was he thinking? COLE Well, Gunner's ticked off, but that doesn't make it okay to hit a woman, no. But Gunner-- CABOOSE BUT NOTHING! That, THAT, Cole, is reprehensible. COLE I agree, Caboose, but after what the Thrillogy has put Gunner and his friends through, I just don't know. CABOOSE Oh, bollocks. Gunner looks down at Candie and the rage seems to subside a bit. GUNNER Yeah, well, I'll find them myself. Gunner turns to leave, but gets rushed by Hoff and slams into a locker! COLE It's the Thrillogy! Gunner gets off the locker and rushes Hoff, but gets met by Calvin instead! Hoff joins Cal in beating on Gunner as Zack checks on Candie...but Gunner fights both men off! COACH Gunner's holding his own! Zack gets up and joins the melee...before a team of security rushes in, pulling all four men apart. Gunner is escorted away, screaming obscenities at the Thrillogy. CABOOSE Well, lucky for Gunner those crack commando guards showed up, huh? COLE I don't know! Gunner was like a man posessed! CABOOSE Oh, what-everrrr, Cole. Even Baboo here could see Gunner was in trouble. Isn't that right, Coach? Coach? Caboose turns to see Coach...gone. Caboose picks up a note... CABOOSE "Went to get nachos...Coach." Jesus. Cole chuckles. COLE Back with more HD in three~! *go to break* DRINK FRESCA Paid for by the American Fresca Authority (AFA). *return from break* We cut to a shot of Coach stuffing his face. COLE So Coach, how's the nachos? COACH Mrff gnhrf mmymm grmhm frff!! CABOOSE Trremendous. Yoink! *Caboose steals a chip* COACH Hhmy! COLE Well-- Michael Cole is cut off by the opening riff of Local H's "Bound For the Floor" as the fans murmur in confusion. COLE You know, I'm starting to hate entrance music. The fans continue to look around in confusion, until a man with long, brown hair steps out onto the ramp. COACH Who's this guy? CABOOSE ...I'm not sure with his street clothes on, but it looks like... COLE ...Chris Stevens? COACH The jobber guy? COLE Coach, hush! Recognition sweeps over some of the fans as Stevens heads to the ring with a serious look on his face. COLE Fans, this isn't scheduled for the program. COACH Yeah, but it's an interesting development for sure! CABOOSE "For shizzle," even. COACH YEAH~! CABOOSE God, I hate you. Stevens climbs into the ring, walks over to the timekeeper and grabs a microphone. COLE Looks like the man has something to say! CABOOSE Gee Einstein, he's in khaki pants and a button-down, I don't think he's here for a match. COACH Hey, remember the Mean Street Posse? CABOOSE *shaking his head* Lord. Stevens looks over the crowd, who are mostly still pretty confused. STEVENS So. I bet you're all wondering why I'm out here. CABOOSE No, they're wondering who you are. COLE Now come on, Caboose, that's not nice. STEVENS Well, let's start with the basics. I am Chris Stevens, OAOAST Superstar. COACH Superstar? That's kind of a stretch. COLE Stevens is one of our OAOAST talents, for sure, but he's usually involved in a preliminary role... The fans look around, puzzled. STEVENS Yeah...not quite, huh? Stevens shakes his head and chuckles before continuing. STEVENS See, when I came into this company, it was as an "enhancement talent." But it was also with the understanding that there would be opportunities for advancement. And yet, week in, week out, I find myself working before the cameras even come on. CABOOSE Uh-oh...this could make us look bad. COLE Since when do you care about the company? CABOOSE Silence. STEVENS Last week, I thought things might be different. Word was that Zack was going to fight "some jobber" for the World Title. I figured, "hey, I'm some jobber...could be me!" A few fans at ringside laugh at the jest. CABOOSE Har. What a kidder. STEVENS But, as it turns out, Northstar worked out a little scheme, and shockingly, Chris Stevens wasn't in the plans. COLE Stevens referring to Zack's match with Phoenix last week, where Northstar-- CABOOSE CHEATED. COLE Right, whatever, Booze. STEVENS So, maybe that was the final straw...I dunno. But I'm tired of waiting for my break to come, so I'm out here tonight to get some airtime. Now, I'm not here to talk myself up, but I've held titles in different promotions around the globe. I've even worked with some of the current OAOAST stars, and let me tell you, I can run with any one of them. So, consider this fair warning, because next week, I start running. Stevens drops the mic and leaves the ring to a mild applause. Most of the fans are simply soaking this in. COLE What a cryptic promo from Chris Stevens. COACH It looks like he feels his jobbing days are over! CABOOSE Yeah, well, we'll see about that. COLE Fan’s we will be back in a jiffy! (Go to break) (Return from break) (Backstage we see Rick Edwards sorting through a desk, looking for something.) EDDY Looking for something? *Rick jumps suddenly at Eddy’s voice* RICK Dammit Eddy don’t sneak up on me like that! EDDY What were you looking for? RICK I was looking in Abe’s old desk to see if he left anything that would tell me who I’m facing at the PPV. EDDY The desk is completely empty. Why would there be anything in this particular desk when he never even came to the arena? RICK Oh…yeah…good point. *Eddy looks at Rick for a second and then out of nowhere bursts into a breathing exercise, which startles Rick again.* EDDY Ha…gotta keep you on your toes. Now do it with me this time. *Rick does the breathing exercise while rolling his eyes.* EDDY How do you feel? RICK Stupid. EDDY Well then why are you doing it? RICK Because you said to…and I don’t feel like getting in trouble for being uncooperative. EDDY Get in trouble from whom? RICK Oh yeah. EDDY You are no longer required to see me, but I recommend that you do. RICK Well if I don’t have to be here then I’m leaving. EDDY Wait Rick; don’t you want to get some things off your chest? You’re not paying for these sessions so you might as well get all you can out of it. Today is your day to vent and I’m all ears. *Rick stops at the door and turns around.* EDDY I know something is bothering you so you might as well use this time to vent, especially after earlier this week. That girl paid you a visit again didn’t she? RICK *Mumbles to himself, “Damn OAOAST cameras.”* Fine, but after this I’m not coming to these sessions again! *Rick sits down* EDDY Now tell me what bothers you the most these days. RICK Like I said last week, I just got tired of giving my all and getting nothing back. EDDY Yes I remember that, but it seems like you would have gotten over that once you won the X Title and got this new job. Things seem to be going your way now. RICK I guess they are, but… EDDY But what? RICK I…something is missing. EDDY Okay that’s a good start. What do you think is missing? Is it the fans? RICK No it’s not the fans. EDDY Is it friends? RICK No…I don’t think so. EDDY Well let me put it this way to you. Who do you blame most for your anger right now? Who do you blame for there being something missing? RICK I blame…Father. EDDY Now we’re getting somewhere. Father is gone so why does it still bother you? RICK Because I never got my shot at him! I went down with an injury and Judas got to take him down! Where is Judas now? He’s at home sulking over how he’s just some clone and he’s not real or some crap like that! He didn’t show up when I was in the hospital either. EDDY I don’t understand. I could have sworn some of the guys said they came to see you. RICK They probably lied to make themselves sound good, to make it sound like they cared. I didn’t see anyone! EDDY So you would like to get your hands on Father, but he’s gone. Eventually do you think you will be able to accept that he’s gone and let that be enough? RICK To do that I have to separate myself as far from The Blurricane as possible so I can become my own man. He came up with the Blurricane gimmick for all the clones and now it’s time to determine who I am. Now you know why it pisses me off when people tell me I was better as the Blurricane! I don’t care what people think I should be. As long as I am the exact opposite of what the Blurricane was I can be far away from what Father wanted me to be. EDDY You don’t have to alienate yourself from everyone to do that. RICK Anyone who can’t accept me for who I am is not someone I want to be around. Now are we done? EDDY Yes we are. *Rick gets up to leave and finds an OAOAST Official waiting at the door.* RICK What do you want? Shouldn’t you be getting me coffee? OFFICIAL I’m here to deliver your next clue about your mystery opponent. RICK Why can’t you just tell me who it is now? OFFICIAL We cannot tell you because you’ve already signed the contract stating that your opponent will remain a mystery until the PPV. RICK Fine! What is the clue? OFFICIAL This person debuted in February of 2003 here in the OAOAST. RICK A lot of new wrestlers debuted then! How am I supposed to figure out which one it is!? OFFICIAL I don’t know sir. *The Official leaves as Rick gets pissed off and punches the wall*

(Earlier this week) (We open on the familiar office of The Boss with Rick standing in front of the desk. J. Arthur sits on a corner of the desk looking through some papers and the Boss, as usual, sits with the back of his chair facing Rick.) THE BOSS Tell me something Rick, why hasn’t Ms. Blackstone backed off yet? RICK I offered her the money and I told her it was a lost cause. She just doesn’t listen. THE BOSS Did you intimidate her? RICK I don’t hit women. THE BOSS I don’t mean physically. I mean mentally. Did you get inside her head? I watched the tape on OAOAST TV and you could have done more. Don’t tell me you have a soft spot for her? RICK *Mumbles to himself “Stupid OAOAST Cameras”* I don’t give a damn about her. To me she seemed shaken up enough to crack. I guess I was wrong. THE BOSS I hired you because I thought you had the edge to do such work. I figured it would be therapeutic to boss some people around. Speaking of therapeutic how are your counseling sessions going? RICK *Sighs* I hate that idiot and if he makes me breathe like a damn pregnant woman again I’ll kill him! THE BOSS If it means keeping your job in the OAOAST just go through it. I don’t think it will affect our plans any. RICK You’ve gotta be kidding me! Pull some strings and get me out of this crap! THE BOSS Why? You don’t just pull strings for any old thing or eventually those strings will break. Deal with this yourself. Eddy Kalm is of no issue to us. Your mystery opponent for the PPV is an issue though. RICK Don’t sweat it. I can handle this. THE BOSS Have you figured out who it is? RICK Um…no, but I will. Abe said he was a former champion in the OAOAST. I just have to look through all the champions and…I guess that won’t help will it? THE BOSS I’ve tried getting any information I can, but it’s being kept pretty secret around the OAOAST. RICK I’m not worried. I can beat anyone they put in front of me. THE BOSS Well seeing as you’ve found some new confidence maybe you can try again with Ms. Blackstone. I want you to focus on her until she breaks! RICK Do I have to go see that psycho girl again? THE BOSS Just do it! Now go back home and get ready for this week’s show. I hear you have a match. RICK Yes boss. *Rick gets up to leave and J. Arthur joins him.* J. ARTHUR I’ll come with you this time. The two of us should be able to break her. *As the two of them reach the lobby the stop and look across to see Leah Blackstone walking in the door.* RICK What the hell?? LEAH You! You’re the one I’m here to see! RICK What are you doing here?? Did you come to give me another card? *Laughs* LEAH I came to give you this. *Hands him a little book* RICK What the hell is this? Is this your diary or something? *Opens it up and mockingly begins to read in a girly voice.* I met the most handsomest man today. Oh he made me all weak in the legs and I was in looooove. I saw him on TV and said Mommy Mommy that’s the man I’m gonna marry! LEAH You really should read it. It’s… RICK *Reads it* All I see here is a bunch of names. Hey some of these are OAOAST guys. What are you stalking all of them too?? LEAH No it’s a list of… RICK You know what? Just shut up and get out of here! If I see you again I’m getting a restraining order! *Rick tosses the book across the room and it lands somewhere behind a large plant.* LEAH Fine! You live in your little bizarro world where you think no one cares about you. People do care about you, but you just don’t see it. They are clouding your vision! *She points upstairs.* They are lying to you and that’s what I’m trying to tell you! RICK How would you know!? You’re a pathetic little stalker! These people are the only ones who care about me now! LEAH You’re hopeless. J. ARTHUR You know what; I’ve stayed out of this little lovers quarrel for too long. Ms. Blackstone if you don’t leave right now I’ll have you arrested. LEAH Fine I’ll leave. Rick…I would ask yourself if you can really trust him. *Points at JAE* I’m sure he knows what is in that book. *Leah leaves* RICK You know what!? I don’t need to ask him because I trust him! Come on J. let’s go. (Rick and JAE leave as the camera pans over to the area where Rick threw the book and we fade out.) (Back to the arena) COLE Ladies and Gentlemen, I've just been informed that someone wishes to come down to the ring and- Cue: KC & The Sunshine Band "Do A Little Dance!" Jivin' JR appears at the top of the walkway, rolling his fat hips like a big groovin' hippo. "Make A Little Love!" JR rubs his man boobs in the direction of a pretty girl as he walks down to the ring. "Get Down Tonight!" JR spins on the spot, taking off his cowboy hat and twirling it in the air. As the song continues, JR prances into the ring and grabs a mic, ignoring the BOOS and LAUGHS from the crowd. JR (singing) Do a little dance, bah gawd! Make a little love! Get down tonight! Bah gawd get down tonight! Oh yeah! Thankfully, the music cuts, and JR faces up to the hostile crowd. JR Now I'm sorry to cut that short. I know all you fans would rather see Jivin' JR do his stuff then some match between HeldDown losers. But my time is money, just like this promo, bah gawd! So listen up, I'm going to make this short and simple, like a retarded dwarf, or something. CABOOSE Hey Mikey, he's talking about you! COLE I'm not a dwarf... JR Last week, that BAH GAWD HOSS (JR drools a little) JINGUS had the audacity to challenge my boys, the OAOAST World Tag Team champions, Black T, to a title match. Not only that, he CHEATED to beat Dan Black to get that shot. COLE Dan Black ran away from JINGUS and lost by countout! JR is full of crap! COACH But he can boogie! JR Now, Black T are too busy playing the champions game to be here talking to the likes of you. The message is simple. JINGUS, you got your shot. Black T does not back down from a challenge. You bring your partner to the Great Angle Bash, and Black T will beat you down like the dogs you are. Cue: Verdi's "Reqium" COLE Here we go! Business is going to pick up! CABOOSE You're scared by that music, arent you? With a FOOSH of flames, JINGUS comes walking down the aisle, 7 foot and 380lbs of DevilHoss. His burnt red trunks glimmer under the arena lights as he steps into the ring. But JR shows no fear~! Ross struts over to JINGUS, and goes into a dance routine! JR stops, and motions for JINGUS to join in. The Devilman looks at JR, and shoves him onto his ass. JINGUS takes the mic, speaking in his burning, rasping growl. JINGUS Unlike Black T and their joke of a manager, I'm not going to talk for hours on end. Let me just introduce my partner for the tag title match. JR, your boys are in trouble. Cue: Britney Spears, Hit Me Baby One More Time CABOOSE Sweet, his partner's Britney! JR looks happy at the entrance music, and starts to dance. He stops when he sees what's coming down to the ring. 6'8, 360lbs. Shaven headed, with a selection of painful looking piercings at various points on his bulging body. Cold grey eyes, black trunks, a slight sneer on his face. The big man calmly enters the ring next to JINGUS and the two monsters tower over JR. COACH Who the hell is that? CABOOSE Another Hoss. JR must be in heaven here. The newcomer turns to JINGUS...and the Devilman gives him a stinging SLAP around the face! The newbie grins scarily and nods in approval. JINGUS gives him another slap, and he grins again! The two then begin to advance on JR, who looks to be crying. Suddenly, Dan Black and T.Bod are behind the two big men, attacking with chair shots to the back! Dan manages to force JINGUS out of the ring, but the other man absorbs Tony's chairshot within moving and a flicker of pleasure rolls across his face. COLE This new guy just took a chair shot and LIKED IT! What kinda freak is this? COACH He must be some kind of sadist! Dan also attacks the new guy with a chair shot to the leg! This time the blow has some effect, and he falls to one knee, but is now smiling happily! CABOOSE Damn, he really is a sadist. He's loving that pain Black T are bringing! T. Bod raises his chair for a full on shot to the head of, well, The Sadist, but JINGUS rolls back into the ring with a barbed wire bat (from under the ring, perhaps), sending Black T scattering to the outside along with their manager. JINGUS picks up the Sadist, who limps on the leg Dan smashed with the chair, but is still smiling sickly. COLE What the hell has JINGUS found as his partner? This guy is nuts! COACH Black T are in big trouble! If JINGUS isn't scary enough, now they have to beat a guy who enjoys being hurt! CABOOSE Meh, Black T will have a plan. They always have a plan. The camera focuses on JR's pale, worried face and the retreating Black T

COLE: NOTHING! LET'S CONTINUE THE SHOW! Ladies and Gentleman here is the footage we have promised you. Exclusive footage of the Damaramu and Ryan Smith Death Match. Because it is so horrible and was unsanctioned we can only show you the end. The censors would have our hides if we showed the entire match. So here’s what Ryan Smith was describing about the end. Here is what he wanted to get across. *We are shown footage of something that looks like a smoky bar in Mexico. The ring is very old looking and the ropes have been replaced by barb wire. Damaramu and Ryan Smith both bloody and covered in barb wire cuts and both are bleeding profusely from the face. Smith goes running at Dama and goes for the swinging sleeper drop! Dama hits the mat hard as Smith goes for the cover! Suddenly Skull Mask and Skull Kid dive into the ring and break it up. Mask grabs the referee over his head and tosses him into the front row! Kid begins to lay the boots to Ryan Smith as he tries to fight back. But Skull Mask is upon him laying down a vicious thrashing from behind. Mask picks up the dazed Smith and drops him throat first across the barb wire! Smith begins to writhe in pain as luckily nothing vital was cut! Skull Mask pulls the injured Smith to the middle of the ring as Skull Kid has just cut one rope down! Kid balls the barb wire up as Mask lifts him high over his head and drops him on hit with a powerbomb! Smith is now in serious pain as he lays on the barb wire! Damaramu suddenly has a microphone as he leans over to speak to the fallen Smith!* DAMA(in spanish) Listen here Smith.....I’m going back to OAOAST and I’d better not see your ass there. You beat me at Anglemania but you won’t ever beat me again. Your ass is going to lay up in a Tijuana hospital now.....and I’d better never see your ugly face in OAOAST again or I’ll finish you completely! *The fans boo as Dama begins to lay some vicious shots into Smith’s cut head with the microphone. Dama lifts Smith off the mat and then DDT’s him straight down into the barb wire! Smith lays face first in the barb wire. Out cold and bleeding everywhere! EMT’s rush the ring as Damaramu and the Cult exit the ring laughing.* COLE That was sick. That match looked like a war and Damaramu tried to bleed Smith to death! Just sickening! COACH I couldn’t stand to watch what we did see.....will Dama follow through with his promise? *Suddenly Abe Vigoda walks out onto stage!* COLE Hey it’s Abe! ABE So I suppose you all saw what just happened? Well I’m just as angry as everyone else! And I’m tired of these two fighting! And these two yahoo’s from The Cult? Terrible! Well I’m going to handle all of this! Ryan Smith has come to me and requested a specific match! So at the Pay Per View it’ll be........The Cult of Damaramu! All 3 members! And they’ll be facing Ryan Smith in a gauntlet match! *The fans go wild!* COLE The Cult vs. Ryan Smith in a Gauntlet match!? Unbelievable! (Go to break) (Return from break) HeldDOWN~! returns with a lovely view of the backstage area, and in particular the hallway outside of The Thrillogy dressing room. The crowd is heard booing in the background as the cameras catch none other than OAOAST World Champion and Thrillogy founder Zack Malibu coming to the dresssing room, along with his girlfriend, OAOAST Diva Candie. Malibu starts to turn the handle to enter the room, when Candie taps him on the shoulder. He turns back to her to see what she wants, and all she does is point. Malibu's expression becomes one of disgust, as the camera cuts to show Northstar, leaning against the wall with his arms folded, standing in the hall nearby. MALIBU What do you want. NORTHSTAR Me? Oh nothing, Zack. Just wanted to see what you were up to. MALIBU You need to start coming up with better excuses, Northstar. NORTHSTAR Excuses? Honey, please, I don't need an excuse to kick your ass. MALIBU Don't call me honey. NORTHSTAR Find then, darling. MALIBU You know something... Malibu drops his bag, and moves towards Northstar in anger. Candie attempts to hold Zack back, but he asks her to back off. MALIBU I'm the one who doesn't need an excuse anymore. You thought you were a big man, coming back trying to be a savior, when all you are is a coward who had to hide behind a mask last week to try to put one over on me. NORTHSTAR Try? Last time I checked, I DID put one over on you? MALIBU Is that so? NORTHSTAR That's so. And poor you, you didn't even get the symbolism of it all. You know, it was so grand, so appropriate, that you have Phoenix face you, because it was later in the match, you know, when I debuted as Phoenix #2, that everything took hold. You know the story of the Phoenix rising from the ashes? Well, that's what I did. I came back, better than ever. I'm like the ghost that's going to haunt you until your dying days. MALIBU Not if I can help it. NORTHSTAR Maybe you can, maybe you can't. But that remains to be seen. I just came by to tell you that we've got a match tonight. MALIBU Come again? NORTHSTAR Pervert. Malibu goes to hit Northstar, but Candie holds his arm, telling him "not here". CANDIE What do you mean he's got a match. No one told him that... NORTHSTAR Not HE, babydoll. You do too. CANDIE WHAT? NORTHSTAR That's right. See, apparently the OAOAST Board of Directors is impressed with my attempts to make amends, and you are NOT the most beloved person these days. So, as a reward of sorts, we're having a little tag match tonight. You and Candie against myself and another old friend of yours. MALIBUEnough with this old friend crap. Who is it? Some Guy? Anglesault? NORTHSTAR No and negative. MALIBU Then who? NORTHSTAR Well, I guess you'll just have to wait until match time to find out. Main event slot, end of the show, be in the ring so we can do our thing. Until then, toodles! Northstar walks off, whistling a tune, while Malibu and Candie just look at each other, not to happy that they're being thrown into the ring tonight, as we fade out.

You can send your stuff to me again.

We're having an after party. checkin' out 6 in the mornin'. Compared to last week, that was a lot of stuff on one show. On Word Perfect it totaled over 101 pages which his much more last weeks 55 pages. I personally recommend reading Bryte Vs Tina first. Zack's match at end was pretty cute. Well, as cute as a wrestling match can be. Zack dressing up as Mario is funny on many different levels.

(Return from break) COLE We’ll fans, we’re heading towards the end of our star studded show. .... I’m getting word that our presence is about to be “graced” by the OAOAST’s biggest icon.... COACH Frank Stallone!!??? "Nothing" hits, and the energetic crowd that has enjoyed HeldDOWN~! tonight turns rabid, channeling their vocal chords into loud boos and jeers, as the OAOAST World Champion and founder of The Thrillogy, Zack Malibu, strolls out onto the ramp. COLE Look, it's Zack Malibu. Rah. CABOOSE I didn't know you had any sarcasm in you, Cole. Although your delivery is a little bland. Accompanied by Candie, Zack walks down the aisle, proudly patting the title belt that is draped over his shoulder. The couple get to ringside, and Zack hops up on the apron, pulling up the middle rope so that Candie can duck into the ring. Zack follows right behind her, and the Franchise Player does not look happy with the response he and his lady are getting. Jawjacking ensues, as Malibu barks down at several ringside fans, before calling Michael Buffer over to bring him the mic. CABOOSE Speech! Speech! COLE Where are my earphones? CABOOSE Aw, poor Cole, gonna pout because he almost got his ass kicked. "YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE!" clap clap clapclapclap "YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE!" clap clap clapclapclap The chant is loud, coming from all corners of the arena. Malibu grows disgusted, hesitating several times in hopes of the crowd quieting down. The chants remain loud, so Malibu opts for speaking over them. MALIBU You know, I'm so glad I don't have to pretend to support you people anymore, because you have got to be the most worthless, ill-mannered, dim-bulb, backwoods scum I have ever come into contact with in my life, and that's saying A LOT! The crowd boos, but Malibu smirks, finally able to get their attention. MALIBU Now, if you people will mind your manners for just a few moments, I have an announcement to make regarding my opponent tonight. The crowd buzzes in anticipation of who Zack Malibu is going to defend the title against right here and now. COACH Yo, 'Booze, who do you think it's gonna be? CABOOSE Well, it's not going to be me, that's for sure. I think that Zack might be looking to squash the issues once and for all with your girl, though. COACH Really? You think we'll see Zack and Crystal here tonight? CABOOSE Crystal? I was talking about Cole. COLE Har har. MALIBU It was just one week ago that Abe Vigoda, crazy old man that he is, told me that I had to be in action tonight, and that the OAOAST Title needed to be on the line. Knowing that ol' Abe was probably desperate for ratings, I agreed. After all, I've always been about doing what's right for the company, riiiiiight? *snicker* So, I sat back with Candie over the weekend and we though, who would be worthy enough to headline HeldDOWN~! against me for this very belt? That got our motors running, and we got to thinking...would I take on Sly Sommers here tonight? *Crowd pops* MALIBU Ah, don't get excited, because I will NOT be taking on Sly Sommers tonight. Number one, he already got his ass kicked by my main man the Hoff-stepper earlier tonight, so why put him through misery again? Then I thought of Crystal... *Loud cheers from the crowd* MALIBU ...but since SHE was already in line for an ass kicking, plus let's not forget that I beat both her and Sly at consecutive Pay Per Views, well, that disqualified her as well. So then, I was thinking, who else had an issue with me that probably wasn't booked...oh, that's right...Northstar. *Huge pop* MALIBU Northy, Northy, Northy. You poor, gender confused soul you. I bet you thought the world would be at your feet when you came back. That you could redeem yourself by coming back and putting one over on Zack Malibu? Am I right? OF COURSE I'M RIGHT! I know how you work. I spent too much time cutting your dirty work short to forget. You want to waltz back in here, right past everyone else, and claim to be the next savior for these people? You want to get in MY face and tell me that I should be ashamed of MYSELF? You want a clean slate, Northstar, well, then let me tell you this. Tonight, right here on HeldDOWN...IN THIS VERY RING...I will NOT give you an OAOAST World Title shot! The crowd deflates, as their happiness has been ended by Zack. Candie just smiles and shakes her head "no" to remind the fans of what Zack just said. MALIBU C'mon Northstar, really. The last time you were seen you were getting your ass handed to you by your bitch, and then you vanished, but yet you expect to walk back into a main event position? Do me a favor, and wake up! This is the real world, this is MY world. This isn't your Hollywood dream. There's no more movie crews and entourages and celebrity involvement. This company, this show...it's all MINE! It always has been, and always will be. Don't ever, EVER forget that. Malibu paces, taking a few deep breaths and getting his shoulders rubbed by Candie. COLE Looks to me like Zack has gone through quite the workout just talking. Think he's ever gonna get to wrestling? CABOOSE What's the rush? We probably just bypassed the damn Friends reruns in the ratings. MALIBU OK, enough chatter. It's time for what you all came to see. What you've all been waiting for. Ladies and gentlemen, my opponent for the evening...with great pleasure I introduce a man who has long waited for an opportunity like this. He's toiled in federations worldwide before finally settling down here, and now tonight, get's his chance at fulfilling a destiny. I give you...PHOENIX! *Crickets chirp* COLE What the... CABOOSE This is brilliance personified. "Take To Flight" is cued up, and jogging out from the back is the OAOAST Luchajobber runs out, decked in his traditional black, orange and yellow garb. Malibu hands his belt over to Candie and gets a quick kiss on the cheek from her before backing away from his opponent, who has now slid into the ring. Referee Charles Robinson, who's been stationed at ringside during Zack's tirade, now enters the ring, and is quickly called over by Zack to block Phoenix from coming any closer. COLE He's all the way across the ring! Is Malibu that scared? CABOOSE He's the World Champion. You always have to be wary of new challengers. Especially those wearing masks. Malibu continues to cower, bordering the line between exaggerated and legit fear. All of a sudden, he nudges Robinson aside, and nails Phoenix with a right hand! Malibu continues to pepper Phoenix with punches, and then takes him by the arm, sending him into the ropes, and delivering a HYOOOOOOOOOGE backdrop...but Phoenix lands on his feet! Malibu turns around, and gets taken to the mat with a deep arm drag! Recovery...and another one! Malibu gets up, but before Phoenix gets the chance to take him over again, Zack ducks out of the ring, blowing off the match! COLE He's running scared! CABOOSE He's pacing himself! COACH Look at Candie's ASS! Damn! Reluctantly, Malibu gets back up on the apron, slowly entering the ring again, as Phoenix watches on. Malibu comes in, strolls right over to the rookie, and cracks him across the face with a slap! Zack grabs him by the back of the mask, taking him over to the corner and ramming his head into the turnbuckle several times, then sets him up in the corner. With Phoenix dazed, Malibu unloads with the chops, cracking the open palm of his hand across the pecs of the lucha sensation. Phoenix absorbs each shot, his body pulsing after each one. Zack then pulls him up out of the corner and Irish whips him across the ring, into the opposite corner. Phoenix bounces off the turnbuckles, staggering forward, and Zack charges in with a lariat...but it's ducked! Zack turns around, and finds himself sent through the air, coming down on his back courtesy of a monkey flip by Phoenix! The crowd roars as the youngster darts towards Zack, jumping through the air and landing on the shoulders of the champion...ONLY TO BE DRIVEN DOWN WITH A SITOUT POWERBOMB! Malibu shoves the legs of Phoenix off of him, and stands over the fallen enhancement talent. Candie claps happily from ringside, as Malibu stands over Phoenix, pulling him up by reaching through the eyeholes in his mask, and then slapping him across the face before unceremoniously tossing him through the ropes and out to the floor! CABOOSE Good idea, Zack. Get rid of that waste! Charles Robinson begins the count, but at the count of three Zack comes and gets Charles' attention, pulling him away from the ropes. COLE What in the world is he arguing about? CABOOSE Slow count. COACH But he didn't pin him! CABOOSE Pfft. The man hit a sitout powerbomb. You LAND in a pinfall. I didn't see Robinson doing his job. COLE Oh brother. As Charles is distracted by Zack's rambling, Candie comes around the ring towards Phoenix, who is just now getting to his feet. Still holding Zack's title belt, Candie winds up, holding the belt firmly in her grip before running forward, clocking Phoenix across the back of the head with it! Candie turns around and walks away, leaving Phoenix laying and acting like nothing's happened, while the crowd showers her in boos! Candie smiles, pleased with her actions, but suddenly and inexplicably, the crowd comes alive, and our cameras catch someone running down the aisle! It's...it's...PHOENIX!??!?! COLE What the...am I losing it? CABOOSE They're luchadores. They don't die, they multiply! With everyone distracted, Phoenix #2 rolls Phoenix #1 under the ring, and then quickly falls to all fours, as if he's playing dead! Slowly, he climbs up onto the apron, and pulls himself up, rope by rope, until he's standing up. Malibu comes over and rocks him with a punch that would have knocked him off balance had it not been for the fact that he's clutching the top rope. Malibu fires off again, but this time Phoenix blocks, and responds with a right hand of his own! Malibu turns away, favoring his jaw, and when he goes for Phoenix again, he catches a shoulderblock in the midsection, and then falls victim to a sunset flip, as Phoenix leaps over him and pulls him down! Robinson hits the mat, making the count... ONE! TWO! NO! Malibu kicks out right away, and fires off a lariat just as Phoenix stands...but it's ducked! Phoenix goes behind...German Suplex! Once again, Robinson dives to the mat, counting Zack's shoulders down... ONE! TWO!! NO!!! Another kickout, but Candie is beside herself, having thought that Phoenix was knocked out, and not knowing that this was an entirely new person! Zack starts to walk over to her, shrugging his shoulders in bewilderment, but gets spun around by Phoenix, and knocked for a loop with a series of punches! Phoenix sends Zack into the ropes, ducking his head to backdrop Zack on the rebound, but Malibu puts on the brakes, and kicks Phoenix right in the chin, then follows up with a ROARING ELBOW~!, catching Phoenix right on the chin! Malibu backs into the ropes, looking to follow up with a YAKUZA KICK~!...but it's ducked! Phoenix somersaults through the space between the canvas and Zack's leg, then comes up and nails Zack as he turns with a Yakuza Kick of his own~! Once again the champion bails, and the crowd is firmly behind Phoenix, or Phoenix #2 as the case may be! COLE Well, whoever this is, he's certainly showing Zack that he's no slouch! CABOOSE This is cheating! How could Robinson allow this? COACH What he don't know won't hurt him, right? Candie comes over to tend to Zack while he licks his wounds. All Malibu can do is point and shout at Phoenix, in shock that this "throwaway" match is now getting competitive. Rather than let Zack's insults get the best of him, Phoenix comes over to the ropes, launching himself over...but Zack moves...and Phoenix lands on the apron! Zack turns around, and gets WIPED OUT by an Asai Moonsault that nearly takes Candie out in the process! COACH YO~! Malibu is down in the aisle, while Phoenix stands above him, waving his arms and urging more cheers to come from the crowd. Candie runs over to Zack and leans over him, checking on his condition, while Phoenix just backs away, sliding back into the ring while Robinson starts the count. ONE! TWO!! THREE!! FOUR!! Candie helps Zack up, and he regains his composure, talking briefly with Candie about God knows what. Zack starts to make his way back into the ring, but out of the corner of his eye he sees something out of the ordinary...a hand coming out from under the apron! Malibu stops, and pulls up the apron to reveal the original Phoenix, still loopy, crawling out from where he was shoved! Malibu looks back up into the ring, and then yanks the real Phoenix to his feet, and asks Robinson what's going on! Charles Robinson can only shrug, but behind him, the second Phoenix yanks off his mask voluntarily...AND IT'S NORTHSTAR~! COACH It's Northstar! CABOOSE I thought he liked to dress up in WOMEN'S clothes! The crowd erupts, as Malibu slides into the ring, charging his foe, but it's avoided. When Malibu turns to face him once again, he gets speared to hell by Northstar, who takes him down! Northstar rains down on his forehead with several punches, getting up to give Zack some recovery room. As Zack gets to his feet, Northstar hits the ropes, coming off and cracking Zack in the face with a YAKUZA KICK~! to a huge pop! Malibu goes down, and Northstar covers quickly, but before Robinson can make so much as a one count, he's pulled out of the ring and clocked with a beltshot from Candie! COLE Hey! CABOOSE Oh sure, the whole Doink routine is OK, but that's not!? Hypocrite. Candie taunts the fallen official, but as she does, her hair is pulled by Northstar, who uses that to bring her into the ring the hard way! Candie begs off, but Northstar holds her by the hair, contemplating what to do. He holds his fist up, and the crowd gives him a unanimous "yes" to nail her...but she kicks him low! Northstar releases his grip, letting Candie go, but not realizing she dropped the OAOAST World Title on the mat. As he cringes, a groggy Zack gets up, taking the title belt, and FLOORING Northtstar with a beltshot, drawing blood from his forehead! Zack stands firm, embracing Candie as she runs to him, and then the two start putting the boots to Northstar, until... COLE Here comes the cavalry! Crystal and Sly Sommers come racing out from the back to make the save! Zack tries to beltshot Sly as he's getting into the ring, but Sly ducks his head just in time, coming up behind Zack and clotheslining him over the ropes and out of the ring! Candie and Crystal fight with each other, much to the joy of every horny male fan watching tonight, but the Female Phenom shoves the Thrillogy valet away, right into the arms of Sly Sommers, who scoops her up and slams her down! Candie is dazed, and Sly pulls her near the ropes then points to them and tells Crystal to "do it up!" Knowing exactly what he means, Crystal runs the ropes, jumping over Candie's body on the rebound and landing on the ropes before springing backwards, crashing down onto her with the Diamond In The Rough! COACH Now why can't that happen to ME!? CABOOSE You get beat up by women all the time. The crowd erupts, as Malibu protest the goings-on in the ring. Calvin and Hoff run down to join him and hold him back, while the babyfaces help Northstar to his feet. Candie is rolled out of the ring by Sly, and recovered by The Thrillogy, as Hoff scoops her up to carry her to the back. Malibu is red-faced with anger, scowling at his rivals, while all Crystal can do is smile from her perch on the second rope. COLE Fans, what a night it has been. It was looking to be a dominant night for The Thrillogy, but Zack Malibu has just learned that the mind games can go both ways. CABOOSE Just like The Coach. COACH Ye...HEY! COLE It's been a wild night, and things are only going to get wilder as we head into War Games at The Great Angle Bash. Until next week, this is Michael Cole, along with Coach and Caboose, signing off! (C-ya!)

(We open up with a tight shot of Abe Vigoda at his desk in the OAOAST DOA Office.) ABE Welcome to HeldDOWN~!; I am your Director of Authority, Abe Vigoda. We left you last week on an unforunate note, as the Thrillogy attempted to end Axel's career by tossing him off of our stage while he was inside of a coffin. Axel has since disappeared, as he hasn't been seen since he was thrown into the coffin, including after we opened it. Due to his absence, we are convinced that he will not be the fourth member of his team for the big match at Great Angle Bash, live on Pay-Per-View on June 27th. Therefore, the two teams will consist of Gunner Sharps, Crystal, Sly Sommers, and AJ Flaire, as they face the Thrillogy and whatever mystery partner they might choose. (An assistant brings in a giant box and places it on Abe's desk) ABE Thank you. Now, you might be wondering what type of match we're going for here. Well, I will now reveal it....(takes the covering off of the box to reveal two toy wrestling rings, side-by-side, with a double-wide roofed cage around it). That's right, we're bringing War Games into your homes on June 27th! We made a few modifications to the cage, as the cage does go out a bit further than most War Games cages, so that the wrestlers will be allowed a bit of space to brawl on the floor, if need be. Also, there are two entrances to the front cage, one for each team to use, as the hatred built up in such a short period of time has gotten to the point where we cannot trust either side to be near each other and not fight. Throughout the years, War Games has been the tradition when two factions of competitors cannot figure out any other way to settle their differences, and feel the need to make the opposition bleed. Hopefully, this will work out for the Thrillogy and their enemies on June 27th. (Abe's assistant takes the War Games set-up off of his desk and out of the office. ABE Before I go, I want to announce that tonight, as punishment for the incident with Axel last week, all three Thrillogy members WILL be in action, and the two titleholders WILL defend their belts! Zack, I haven't gotten your match ordered out yet, but your World Title will be on the line! Calvin, you don't have a title, but you will face the competitor who, somehow, I will make sure gets another shot at the World Championship after being crooked out of it at School's Out, that being Crystal! Finally, Hoff...the perpetrator of this whole ordeal. Tonight, you will defend your 24/7 Title against a guy who both you've never faced one-on-one and who wants revenge on you for costing him his match with Calvin Szechstein at School's Out...tonight, it will be Hoff defending his 24/7 Title against Sly Sommers. On behalf of our entire staff, I hope you enjoy the show. OAOAST HeldDOWN~! "Trust me" by Lucy Woodward plays as we SEE THE LOGO~ HD! opens with overpriced crimson and orange pyro exploding on the entrance stage, nearly burning the faces off a few unlucky souls who thought it would be a good a idea to buy front row tickets to the show. The camera circles the arena looking for a few creative signs. It’s search turns up empty and it starts to weep softly as it’s forced to settle on the ugliest announce team in pro wrestling, Triple C. COLE WOW!!!!!!! What a way to kick off HeldDOWN!!!!!! With the announcement of War Games, June looks to be hot, hot, HOT as we head full steam into the GREAT ANGLE BASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But fans, we still have a show to do tonight, and it’s going to be a DOOZY! NEVER BEFORE HAS ANY HUMAN ALIVE BEEN PRIVILEGED TO WITNESS SUCH AN EXTRAVAGANTLY AWE INSPIRING EVENT!!!! SET YOUR VCR’S FOR THIS ONE!!!!! Hoff defends HIS 24/7 TI....... COACH Aren’t you going to introduce us to the world? CABOOSE Why? Everyone already knows who we are. Anyway, Cole is absolutely right, this is going be an awesome show. Mostly thanks to me. What’s up first? (The shot switches from CCC to the entrance stage.) "Quiet" hits, and its dark smoke with white sparks time as one half of the OAOAST Tag Team Champions strides out onto the stage. Dan Black looks around the arena through his designer shades. His tag team title belt, sparkling blue under the arena lights, rests over his shoulder. Black turns and beckons to the smoke cloud. Through it appears a group of four hot-tastic girls, each modelling the new Black T t-shirt (black, with a huge white T across the front, with the word "BLACK" in black across the top of the T...yeah, that makes sense). With two girls on each arm, Dan struts down to the ring. COLE Heh, looks like Dan's been spending some of his extra money for being a champion on hook- CABOOSE How dare you! Just because you have to pay your mother to get action, it doesnt mean the rest of us need to use money to get women! COACH Heh heh heh CABOOSE And you be quiet. At least Cole doesn't pay men. COLE Actually- CABOOSE I really really don't want to hear that. Dan's music cuts as he climbs into the ring with the girls. The crowd BOOS Dan, but without the usual venom. Its hard to dislike somone bringing hot chicks to the ring. Dan takes a mic. BLACK Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. While my friend and tag team partner, T.Bod, is away on a trip, scouting for some decent opposition for us, I am here to reassure you all that Black T are still the champions, still winners, and still the heros that you need! Crowd doesn't like this. BLACK Because, since I've been on HeldDown, I've been surprised. When I was General Manager of IntenseZone, do you know what I heard? Guy in crowd: WHAT? BLACK Oh, we're so not doing that. Shut your fat, flabby mouth before I come down there, break your neck and steal your woman. Dan looks closer. BLACK Actually, never mind. Making love to that thing is going to break something of yours soon enough. As I was saying- I heard that HeldDown was the big league. I was told that on HeldDown, there was competition. I was told there was action. Well, last week, all I heard was talk. Big talk, funny talk, small talk- but no wrestling. Over on IntenseZone, we used to have a little motto- "Less yakkin', more whackin'". I think all of the boys here on HeldDown need to learn that lesson, and Black T are the ones to teach it! Crowd still doesnt like this. COLE Dan Black is such a hypocrite. He used to come out week and week on IZ and talk and talk. CABOOSE You watched IntenseZone?! COLE Yeah! CABOOSE Oooh, you were the one. BLACK So I'm out here, with the Black T girls- aren't they divine, by the way? Just four of the many female fans Tony and I have, modelling our new t-shirt... Dan traces his finger slowly over the T on one of the girl's shirt. The girl smiles at Dan and licks her lips. COLE What a hussy! CABOOSE Turned on? COLE A little... BLACK What? Oh, yes, I'm out here, to lay down a challenge as I did on my first day on HeldDown. It's not for Black T. It's for me, Dan Black, living OAOAST legend, the greatest tag team wrestler in the history of this company, and the greatest singles star never to main event a pay per view. So anyone of you snivelling, HeldDown blabbermouths sitting in the back, writing up your little promos or your skits, come on down to the ring right now and do what you're paid to do. COACH Wow, a firm challenge from Dan Black! He wants some action! CABOOSE Go Mikey! You can take him! COLE You're right! I-hey wait a minute! You're trying to get me hurt again! Dan stares at the entranceway. Nothing happens. Black shakes his head sadly, and shrugs. Dan holds up his hands in a "what can you do?" gesture. BLACK I tell you what- if anyone back there can beat me, they can pick a partner and have a tag team title shot against Black T. C'mon now, thats generous! Still nothing. Black talks to the girls, who simper and giggle at his jokes. Dan shrugs again, and makes to leave. The lights go out. Strobes start to flash violently around the arena, as a familiar piece of music starts to play. It's Verdi's "Requiem" COLE Oh my... A huge circle of fire shoots up on the stage. Another circle appears just outside that. Another, so that three burning rings are blazing. With a huge explosion of red pyro, the fire vanishes, and walking down the aisle comes the Devilman, Hell made man, three hundred and eighty five pounds of mutant HOSS, the thing they call....JINGUS. The crowd erupts for the Devilman after his absence. The monster bares his fangs, eyes shining from behind the burnt red of his half mask. CABOOSE What the hell is he doing here? He's not welcome on HeldDown! JINGUS walks slowly down to the ring and climbs up the steps. Dan, looking horrified, gestures the Black T girls out of the ring. BLACK Cut the music! Cut it! CUT! It cuts. JINGUS stands across the squared circle, steam rising from his huge shoulders, eyes fixed on Black. BLACK Who the hell let you in here? This challenge was for HeldDown wrestlers! Not you! Not you! JINGUS moves forward, looks down at Dan from his 7 foot height, and snatches the mic from him. JINGUS Dan...you know, you and I, its NEVER OVER. Crowd POPS! COLE So much history between these two! Former tag champs together! Best friends! Bitter enemies! They've been in more matches together than any other OAOAST superstars! JINGUS I see you got yourself a new partner, Dan, and new gold. But I know a little something about tag team wrestling too. And me and my partner WILL be facing Black T for the gold. Dan grabs the mic back, at the third attempt. BLACK J, when will you learn? Yeah you're big, you're scary, you're bad ass. But I'm a BETTER WRESTLER THAN YOU! Since the Miracle Weirdness Connection split up, I've beaten you AGAIN and AGAIN. Give it up! It's over! Go get a job in some cheap hollywood movie, and don't ever get in my face again, you red bitch! BANG! Dan is flat on his back from a JINGUS punch, as a referee slides into the ring and signals for a bell. DING DING DING COACH Looks like we got ourselves a match! CABOOSE Look at JINGUS, cheap shotting Dan like that, its just the kind of thing he's always done. JINGUS stomps on Black to the approval of the crowd, as Dan tries to slide out of the ring. He reaches the apron, where the Black T girls grab his legs and try to pull Dan out under the bottom rope. JINGUS just grabs Dan's arm and pulls him back into the ring, flinging the girls into the apron and knocking them onto their behinds for a POP! JINGUS brings Dan up and wrenches his left arm into an arm bar. Dan shakes his head and aims a kick at JINGUS gut, but the Devilman catches the leg and spins Dan around into a spinning SPINEBUSTAH FROM HELL BAH GAWD! ONE! TWO! THREE! NO, Kickout! COLE JINGUS is monsterously strong, he nearly broke Dan in half! CABOOSE Meh, Dan's taken that and worse from JINGUS before! And like he said, he always comes out on top! JINGUS scrapes Dan up and whips him into the corner, before running in and giving him a GORE that leaves Dan totally stuck in the ropes, eyes glassy. The crowd OOOOs at the impact, as JINGUS pulls Black out of the ropes and sets him for- COLE Powerbomb onto the turnbuckle?! HEINOUS! But as JINGUS lifts Dan up, he flips out, and drags JINGUS into the Heart of Ice v2! (Alex Shelley's Border City Stretch) The crowd BOOS the counter, as JINGUS roars in pain! CABOOSE Hah, what did I tell you? Here's comes the pain for the Devilman. Watch him tap like a Cole. JINGUS's arm does indeed waver....but only for a second, until JINGUS just powers up to one knee, and uses his TRAPPED arm to throw Dan off him and down to the mat! Black looks SHOCKED, and tries to escape the ring again, but JINGUS again grabs him and gives him a BaldoBomb! ONE! TWO! THREE! No! Dan grabs the bottom rope with his left hand at the last minute! JINGUS brings Dan up and GRABS HIM BY THE JAW! The Devilman lifts Dan up by his head and slams him down to the mat! COLE CLAWSLAM! CLAWSLAM! COACH Hey, here comes the cavalry! Jivin Jim Ross runs down to the ring and jumps onto the apron, distracting JINGUS as he was about to cover! JINGUS moves over to JR, who lets off a stream abuse as only he can, before doing a moonwalk across the apron to HEEL HEAT~! JINGUS punches JR off the apron, and he falls flat on his fat face. Dan rolls up JINGUS from behind! ONE! TWO! THREE! NO! KICKOUT! CABOOSE Dammit! Both men up, and JINGUS slaps on a hold for another CLAWSLAM! But Dan kicks J repeatedly in the midsection until he has to let go. Dan runs the ropes and shoulder blocks his opponent, who doesn't move. Another attempt, but still no movement. A third- and JINGUS sidesteps and drop toe holds Dan, before putting on an STF! COLE JINGUS has used this as a finisher- and broken legs with it! Dan is howling in pain, scrambling and reaching for the ropes, the referee, anything- and finally escapes with a slight hold on the bottom rope. Black gets up, limping, and JINGUS sets for KICK WHAM DEVILBOMB- but Dan again flips out, KICK WHAM BLACK OUT! (Stunner) Cover! ONE! TWO! THREE! NO! KICKOUT! Dan holds his head in disbelief! He picks JINGUS up and underhooks his arms for a Pitch Black (Angels Wings) but the Devilman back drops out! JINGUS gestures for Dan to get up, and then nearly decapitates him with the Clothesline from Someplace Worse than Hell! Dan goes 360! The cover! ONE! TWO! THREE! NO! Shoulder up! JINGUS shrugs, grabs Dan up and plants him straight back down again with a shoudler breaker! Cover! ONE! TWO! THRRRREEEE-KICKOUT! JINGUS spits HELL-FLEM onto Dan, and heads up to the top rope to a flash bulb frenzy! FROG SPLASH! COLE I swear I just heard Dan's rib cage break! Cover! ONE! TWO! JR pulls the referee out! JINGUS makes to go after JR, when someone else comes running down to the ring! COLE T.BOD! COACH I thought he wasnt here? CABOOSE Black T have supersonic jets, duh! JINGUS runs at T.Bod, who gives him the OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE! T.Bod drags Dan out of the ring and helps him limp up the ramp, as JINGUS just stands up and ROARS! The referee counts Dan out! BUFFER The winner of the match by countout- JIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINGUUUUUUUS! COLE Dan takes the coward's way out, and now he has to face JINGUS again- with the tag titles on the line! Tony supports Dan on the stage, as the camera picks up his words. TBOD Don't worry Dan, we'll think of something. And whoever he gets as his partner, it can't be as bad as him... COLE Can it? COACH Who will be JINGUS's partner? I can't wait to find out! *COMMERCIALS*

(Return.) COLE Right now fans we are about to have a match to unify the North American and X-Division Titles. The Shuffle won the NA Title a couple of months ago, but due to contract disputes he hasn’t defended it. Therefore, Abe has ordered Shuffle back into the ring to put that title up for grabs. CABOOSE There isn’t a more fitting man to unify those titles than Rick Edwards. COACH You’re kidding right? CABOOSE I never kid. MICHAEL BUFFER Ladies and Gentlemen, this match is scheduled for one fall and is a Title Unification Match! *The Horror by RJD2 starts up as the fans seem unsure how to react to the Shuffle, but some fans do cheer. The Shuffle does a little dance and then walks down the aisle slapping hands with some of the fans. He then slides into the ring and holds up the NA Title.* MICHALE BUFFER Weighing in at 255 pounds, from Lynnwood, Washington, the North American Champion, THE SHUFFLE!!!! CABOOSE That title should have been taken from him long ago! COLE That’s not your decision to make. *Tear Away by Drowning Pool begins as the fans boo loudly. The spot lights move to the music and Rick makes his way out with J. Arthur Edwards at his side. Rick holds up the X-Title and does a little spin to show it off before walking down the ramp and sliding into the ring. He then sticks the X Title in Shuffle’s face and laughs as he pulls it away quickly.* MICHAEL BUFFER Weighing in at… *Rick covers the mic with his hand and laughs. Buffer seems pissed as JAE points a finger in his face and laughs annoyingly.* MICHAEL BUFFER Weighing in… *Rick does it again and Buffer looks like he’s about to cry.* COLE Buffer still can’t seem to get his ring announcements out while Rick is around and now Rick is playing it up!! CABOOSE That’s great! Make him cry! MICHAEL BUFFER Oh to hell with it! *Buffer leaves the ring as Rick laughs and the fans boo. JAE then steps to the outside as the match begins.* *Ding Ding Ding* Rick and Shuffle circle each other for a couple of seconds before locking up and fighting for control. Rick backs him into a corner and then whips him across to the opposite side. Shuffle hits with a loud thud and bounces out as Rick catches him and hits a Hurricanrana that sends Shuffle sliding across the ring. Shuffle gets up fast and runs right into a Hip Toss and a cover. 1 No!!! Rick pulls Shuffle to his feet and whips him to the ropes, but it’s reversed and Shuffle plants a fist in Rick’s gut that doubles him over. Shuffle then hits a quick Russian Leg Sweep and floats over into a cover of his own. 1 No!!! COLE Neither man getting a two count yet. Shuffle waits for Rick to stand and then grabs him for a Belly to Belly Suplex, but Rick boxes his ears and hits an Inverted Atomic Drop. Shuffle wobbles around the ring and right into the waiting arms of Rick for a Scoop Slam. Rick then hits the ropes and performs a Flipping Legdrop and then a cover. 1 2 No!! CABOOSE Beautiful!! COACH Meh…it was alright. Shuffle stands slowly and Rick grabs him for a Short Arm Clothesline, but Shuffle ducks under and grabs Rick for a German Suplex with a bridge! 1 2 No!!! Rick comes up holding the back of his head and Shuffle is there to whip him to the ropes. As Rick comes bouncing back Shuffle boots him to the stomach and goes for a Vertical Suplex. As he picks him up Rick shifts his weight and drops behind him where he hits a Back Suplex. The fans boo, but Rick just waves them off and waits for Shuffle to stand. As he stands Rick hits a Bulldog from behind and goes for another cover. 1 2 No!!! CABOOSE This ref is counting way too slow! COLE I’ve heard that one before! He’s counting just fine. CABOOSE Well then he doesn’t know what comes after 2 I guess! COACH Duh…everyone knows its 4! Rick pulls Shuffle up by the head, but Shuffle breaks his grip and starts laying into him with right hands. Rick is backed into the corner by the punches where Shuffle changes to chops as the fans shout, “Whoo!” Shuffle then climbs up for a 10 punch attack, but Rick shoves him off. Shuffle tries to land on his feet, but he falls back and rolls through to his feet before running forward…right into a Clothesline by Rick! COLE Wow what an impact! COACH Look out for flying teeth! CABOOSE Look there goes one now! COACH Where!? CABOOSE Too easy! Rick pulls him up, hits a Swinging Neckbreaker, holds on, pulls him back up and whips him to the corner! CABOOSE Damn! Rick then hits a Running Splash to the corner and Shuffle falls face first to the mat. Rick then pulls him up by the head again and takes him back down with a Dropsault. He then swings his arms in a “that’s all” movement before making the cover. 1 2 3 No!!! Shuffle kicks out!! Rick can’t believe he kicked out and says so to the ref, but the ref holds up two fingers. Rick once again pulls him up by the head, but Shuffle shoves him back and hits the KICK ASS BLASTA~! COLE What a Superkick! Shuffle goes for a cover. 1 2 3 No!!! Rick kicks out!! The fans boo as Shuffle looks frustrated. He then pulls Rick up by the head and hits a Belly to Belly Suplex! Shuffle looks a little worn out, but pulls himself up and waits for Rick to stand. As Rick stands Shuffle kicks him in the gut and goes for the Shuffle Bomb. As he gets him up Rick starts pounding away at his head to stop the move and manages to hit a Hurricanrana on Shuffle! Both men stay on the mat for a few seconds, but Rick pulls himself up by the ropes. On the outside JAE shouts encouragement to Rick as Rick nods to say he’s okay. COLE Shuffle would have had this won if he hit that move! COACH Rick didn’t expect this did he? Rick motions for Shuffle to get up and then hits him with a Doomsday Kick as he stands. JAE says that’s it on the outside as Rick comes up smiling. CABOOSE It’s over! Rick then pulls Shuffle up, places him in a Reverse Chinlock, and hits the Superman’s Dead! He then makes the cover. 1 2 3!!!! COLE Dammit!! *Ding Ding Ding* MICHAEL BUFFER Here’s your winner and Unified X-Division Champion! RICK EDWARDS!!!! *Rick holds up both belts as the fans boo. JAE enters the ring and applauds.* CABOOSE What did I tell you? COACH I don’t know. CABOOSE That doesn’t surprise me at all. COACH What? I don’t get it. COLE He’s calling you stupid. COACH That’s not what your mom said last night. COLE That doesn’t even make sense. COACH That’s not what your mom said last night. (We go to break with Coach repeating the same line over and over again.) (Return from break) (the sound of “Heeeeeeeeeeey!” followed by the Happy Days theme hits and Fonzie rides out on his hog. The crowd goes wild as Fonzie makes his way down and into the ring. He grabs a mic and then proceeds) Fonzie: Last week right heres I gots turned on by too guys I thought I was close wit. Well seeing as how its becomes a numbahs game I wents out and got me some of the toughest guys evers. So let me introduce you to Fonzie’s Almighty, Great Superstars! (All of a sudden Black Sabbath’s ‘Iron Man’ hits the loud speakers and somebody appears at the entrance way) Fonzie: Coming to yous from Liverpool England, this is…. Dangerous Dan! (Dan enters the ring…all 4 feet, 2 inches of him and stands beside Fonzie. Iron Man stops and Snoop Doggy Dog’s ‘Gin and Juice’ hits and another person stands at the entrance way) Fonzie: All the ways from da mean streets of Detroit…I give yous The Man’s Man…Bobby Rogers! (Bobby walks down and joins Fonzie along with Dangerous Dan inside the ring. The crowd is going BANANAS~ at this point and Snoop Dog’s music stops) Fonzie: There’s one more member of da FAGS to be introduced…maybe yous guys have heard of him before (just then C & C Music Factory’s ‘Everybody Dance Now’ fills the arena and the fans are all beside themselves. They’re jumping and screaming and doing all that fan stuff) Fonzie: Dat’s right…its da OAOAST return of… MR WARRIOR!!!! (MR WARRIOR runs down to the ring, inside the ring and runs all around the rest of the FAGS. He begins shaking the ring ropes and making mock gestures of a gorilla press slam while the fans go BONKERS~.The music stops) Fonzie: Now I want all the fans here to know that these aren’t the only FAGS, no, no, no! You sees all of you fans out there are FAGS too and we’re gonna do dis together! (crowd erupts with cheers) Fonzie: I gots my crew now though Homeless Dan. Now come out heres! (All of a sudden Homeless Dan shows up on the TitanTron) Homeless Dan: Not tonight Fonzie…if you want to settle this then step one is meeting me on my own turf next week! I’ll see you at the Salvation Army Soup Kitchen!… if you have the guts (Fonzie looks around to the crowd who are sitting there with baited breath. He then looks up at the TitanTron and gives the double thumbs up causing the fans to pop once more) Fonzie: Heeeeeeeeeey! We’ll sees you there (We go to break with the crowd chanting Fonzie’s name in unison.)

(Take another break) (Guess who’s back. Back again. HeldDOWN’s back. Tell a friend.) Cue: “I’m the Bomb” by Electric Six (Calvin makes his way to the ring, with Candie right behind him.) ANNOUNCER: “From Milwaukee Wisconsin, weighing in at 197 lbs, tonight accompanied by Candie, from the THRILLOGY, CALVIN SZECHSTEIN!” Cue: “Set it Off” by Audioslave (Crystal, focused, walks down to the ring, not taking her eyes off Calvin or Candie.) ANNOUNCER: “From Coquitlam British Columbia, weighing in at 138 lbs, CRYSTAL!” COLE: “This should be a great contest! These two competitors are evenly matched, but Calvin might have the slight advantage with Candie in his corner.” COACH: “Maybe so, but Crystal did get the win over Calvin a couple of weeks ago!” CABOOSE: “Psh, fluke win.” (Candie is ushered out of the ring by the ref, and this contest is underway!) DING! DING! DING! The two lockup in the middle of the ring. Calvin gets the early advantage and puts a waist lock on Crystal. Crystal breaks his hands apart and reverses in a waistlock of her own. But Calvin breaks up her hands and grabs Crystal’s arm into a hammerlock. He trips her up and goes to a front facelock, but Crystal gets out quickly, grabbing Calvin’s arm and applying a hammerlock of her own. He forces himself in a sitting position and grabs Crystal’s neck and flips her over. He grabs her head and forces her back to a lying position with a headlock, but Crystal quickly applies a headscissors. Cal quickly gets of it and both kip up. No indy-standoff here though, as Calvin charges at Crystal, who gives a hiptoss. Calvin’s up quickly and charges again, only to get another hiptoss for his efforts. He’s up one more time, and Crystal dropkicks him, through the ropes! CROWD: “Crystal! Crystal! Crystal!” COLE: “Some impressive matwork from these two in the early going.” COACH: “But my girl got the advantage!” CABOOSE: “Oh please. Calvin’s just playing with Crystal. He knows what he’s doing!” But it doesn’t really appear that way to everybody else right now. Calvin bangs the mat in frustration with Candie attempting to calm him down. He slowly gets back in the ring after a little while. With a smirk on his face, he mockingly applauds Crystal while moving towards her. He puts up his hand to challenge Crystal to a test of strength, and Crystal meets the challenge, only to get a kick in the gut. Calvin aggressively grabs her head in a headlock. Crystal pushes him to the ropes and ducks a clothesline attempt of Calvin’s. He stops and grabs Crystal’s arm, irish whipping her toe the ropes. Crystal bounces back and Calvin uses her momentum against her, delivering a fireman carry. Crystal is up right away, but Calvin doesn’t even attempt to capitalize. Instead, he does some jumping jacks, celebrating his “victory”. COLE: “What a pompous jerk.” CABOOSE: “Come on Michael! You should be applauding that excellent, scientific move by Calvin!” Crystal leans against the corner, rolling her eyes. She lifts her eyebrows at Calvin, as if asking if he’s done yet. Calvin just smirks and starts jawing with her. She meets him in the middle of the ring to trash talk as well. Crystal seemingly says something that irks Calvin, because he suddenly slaps the taste out of her mouth. Crystal looks up at him angrily, and returns the favor! The two then brawl and exchange right hands. Cal get the advantage and Irish whips Crystal. He leapfrogs her, but Crystal rebounds and gives a flying forearm! She mounts on him and starts punching away. Calvin rolls away and tries to get up and away from Crystal, but Crystal is right there. She whips him to the ropes. Calvin goes for the clothesline, but Crystal ducks, grabs his head from behind, and delivers an Edge-o-matic! Cover! 1! 2! Kickout! Calvin struggles back to his feet with the help of the corner, with Crystal right on him. Crystal whips him to the opposite corner and charges. Calvin, though, sees her coming and Crystal runs into his elbow. As Crystal recovers and turns around, Calvin delivers a clothesline. When Crystal gets up again, Calvin goes behind and hooks both arms, and delivers a beautiful butterfly suplex! 1! 2! Kickout! Crystal rolls out of the cover. Calvin is up and puts the boots to Crystal. He picks her up and whips her to the ropes, but Crystal reverses. As Calvin is rebounding, Crystal delivers a reverse spinkick. Stunned, Calvin bails outside. Crystal sees this and launches herself and planchas Calvin, but Calvin moves and she eats floor! Calvin then yaps to the ref, distracting him, as Candie sneaks up and puts the boots on Crystal! COACH: “Come on now! This is suppose to be a one-on-one match! CABOOSE: “Hey, anything goes behind the referee’s back.” After Candie backs off, Calvin stops talking with the ref, picks up Crystal and whips her to the ring post, her face hitting first. Calvin rolls Crystal back in the ring and climbs the turnbuckle. He waits for Crystal to get up and delivers his signature hurricanrana! He gets up beaming, and takes a sarcastic bow, basking in the jeers of the crowd. He puts one foot on Crystal and poses, flexing his muscles (ala Chris Jericho). She quickly rolls over and grabs Calvin’s foot and trips him up. The legs are crossed and Crystal tires to flip him over for the Crystalling! Calvin scrambles for the ropes, desperate to not let Crystal lock it in. The referee counts to 5 when Calvin does reach the ropes, forcing Crystal to back off. After a few words with the ref, she goes after Calvin again and tries to pick him up, but Calvin gives a poke in the eye followed with a kick to the gut. With Crystal doubled over, Calvin delivers a picture-perfect snap suplex and covers. 1! 2! Kickout! Crystal kicks out and gets on all fours, trying to push herself up. Calvin takes this opportunity to kick Crystal straight in the ribs. Crystal, again, gets on all fours, only to get kicked down again. Clutching her ribs, Crystal struggles to get up, using the ropes for support, with Calvin taunting her. He charges her and Crystal pulls down the top rope so Calvin tumbles outside! Candie rushes to Calvin to see if he’s alright. Crystal goes to launch herself over the top rope, but Candie sees her, and pushes Calvin out of the way. However, Crystal sees this and catches her self, landing on the apron. Candie stomps towards her, but Crystal gives her a swift kick to the face! Candie stumbles back into Calvin. When both Thrillogy members recover, Crystal hits them both back down with as Asai-Moonsault! Crystal gracefully lands on her feet and eggs on the already cheering crowd. COACH: “What a beautiful move! Thatta girl!” CABOOSE: “Hey, what did Candie do to deserve that? Leave her out of this!” COLE: “You mean not including interfering earlier?” Crystal rolls Calvin in the ring and waits for him to get up. When he does, Crystal springboards off the top rope, grabs Calvin’s head, and does a tornado DDT! She quickly goes for the cover. 1! 2! Kickout! Calvin stumbles up and props himself in the corner. Crystal goes to him and whips him to the opposite corner, but Calvin reverses. He rushes towards her, but eats boot. Crystal then grabs Calvin’s head from behind and gives Calvin an inverse DDT. She celebrates to the crowd and ascends the top rope. We’ll never know what she was going to do though, as Calvin kicks the referee to the ropes, crouching Crystal as a result. Cal slowly gets up and makes his way to where Crystal is. He grabs her by the hair and throws her down, so she is hanging from the turnbuckle, her back towards Calvin. He takes a running start and dropkicks the back of Crystal’s head! She flops to the ground and clutches the back of her head. After Calvin taunts her and slaps the back of her head a couple of times, she slowly tries to get up with the help of the ropes, still clutching her head. Right when she gets up though, Calvin plows into her with a vicious clothesline in the corner! Before she falls down, he grabs her by the head, puts her in a headlock, and delivers a bulldog! Cover! 1! 2! 2.5! Kickout! After Crystal kicks out, Calvin drags her up by her hair and delivers a DDT. He bounces off the ropes for momentum and drops a knee to her face. He goes for the cover again. 1! 2! Kickout! Calvin, a bit frustrated, taunts Crystal to get up some more. She struggles to her feet and he grabs her from behind in a waistlock. Calvin tries to go for the German suplex, but Crystal blocks and goes for the rollup! 1! 2! Kickout! Calvin gets up right away and goes for a clothesline, but Crystal ducks, hooks both arms, and backslides! 1! 2! Kickout! Calvin rolls out and both are up. Crystal walks to Calvin, but he boots her in the stomach. He runs the ropes and goes for the ax kick, but Crystal moves! When Calvin turns around, he’s met with a clothesline! Crystal goes to the corner and signals Calvin to get up. He slowly does and turns around to a SPEAR~! 1! 2! Kickout! Candie suddenly gets on the apron and yells at the referee for his obvious stupidity. Meanwhile, Crystal has grabbed both of Calvin’s legs and crosses them! She struggles to turn Calvin around but she finally does, only to turn around to a SCHOOLS OUT!?! COACH: “What the HELL is Zack doing here!” CABOOSE: “HA! That’s what we call insurance!” With the ref still busy with Candie, Zack slips out of the ring and back into the crowd as Calvin makes his way to the top rope. On a knocked out Crystal, he hits the FUBU SPLASH~! Candie steps off the apron, and the ref sees Calvin covering Crystal. 1! 2! COLE: “No! Not this way!” 3! DING! DING! DING! “And your winner of the match, CALVIN SZECHSTEIN!” The referee raises Calvin’s hand in victory and he and Candie make their way up the ramp, celebrating in the jeers. We fade to black as the referee checks on a semi-conscious Crystal. (Break!)

(Return from break) "WHO'S THE BADDEST CHICK?!" The arena lights drop as Faith Evans' "You Gets No Love (remix)" hits the PA system. The crowd gives a good-sized pop as bright red spotlights flood the arena and begin roaming the crowd. A dim red spotlight emits from the entrance, highlighting the silhouette of a female figure, and as fans begin clapping in unison to the beat of the pulsating Eurhythmics sample, that light from the entrance gets brighter...and brighter...and brighter...until a series of pyro sparks go off at the set, starting from opposite ends of the stage and converging in front of the entrance. The crowd pops as Tina steps out from the locker room and walks out to the edge of the stage with a look of determination in her eyes. I tell you why there's no love Simply you're not cool enough For what we had between us Don't you know you lost my trust Tina tosses her hair back and thrusts her arms into the air, and on cue, more pyro sparks begin to fire down from the rafters behind her. She continues her path to ringside. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, this contest is a Grudge Match and is scheduled for one fall. Currently coming down the aisle, hailing from Philadelphia, PA, weighing in tonight at 175 pounds, she is known as the Superwoman and the Baddest Chick in pro wrestling....TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINAAAAAAA! The crowd pops at the mention of Tina's name. Now at ringside, Tina slides into the ring, runs to a far corner and climbs upon the turnbuckles to play to the crowd. COLE Fans, there she is. Tina getting set to lock up with Chris Bryte one more time, and this thing has been building between these two for quite a while. Of course, it was about a month ago here on HeldDOWN that Tina and Bryte were supposed to be married, but Chris Bryte, the no good bastard that he is, turned on, attacked and humiliated Tina during the damn wedding. Tina had her heart broken in front of the world, and since that time, she's been out for revenge. CABOOSE No, what she's been out to do is rape Chris Bryte financially. I mean, just look at all the money that Tina's cost him over the past month: destroying a $45,000 custom-made suit, STEALING over $35,000 a couple of weeks ago following the Chris Bryte Challenge. And then two weeks ago... COLE Yes, two weeks ago, fans, it was Three Rounds of Terror! A boxing match between Bryte and Tina with $100,000 on the line. And the end result... The HeldDOWN~! logo scrolls across the screen as we go back to the closing moments of the Bryte/Tina boxing match, where Tina has Bryte on the ropes covering up. She catches him with three left hooks to the body, then one to the jaw to put him on the canvas. COLE There it was! Chris Bryte was put down by Tina, and he lost the match via KO! CABOOSE That was a fluke. COLE It was a clean knockout! Tina beat Bryte fair and square, and Bryte, the sore loser that he is, couldn't accept that, and look at what he did! The LOGO~! scrolls the screen again, cutting to Bryte's post match attack on Tina. COLE There you see Chris Bryte, knocking out the referee, then hitting Tina in the back of the head with a stool, knocking her out to the floor. And then--and I can't believe he did this--Bryte lifted up the ringside mats and gave Tina a brainbuster on the exposed concrete. What kinda man is Chris Bryte? To do something like that? CABOOSE He's a real man as far as I'm concerned. I thought that was absolutely great! COLE Well one man who didn't think it was great was Abe Vigoda. He was absolutely incensed by Bryte's post-match actions, and as a result, Chris Bryte was fined $20,000 for his abuse of the official, $5,000 for the attack on Tina, and to top it off, Bryte was suspended for two weeks without pay! Abe Vigoda really stuck it to Chris Bryte. CABOOSE Yeah! Thanks to Tina and that moron Vigoda, Chris Bryte's funds have been going down faster than a cheap ho. The last month's been trying for Chris, but his luck changes here tonight when he faces Tina! Cole, you sit out here praising Tina for her little "victory" two weeks ago. Well it was a lucky punch! And besides, that was boxing. That's a pussy sport. Tonight, Tina's facing Bryte in a WRESTLING match, and I can guarantee you that this week, Bryte's luck will change and Tina's will runs out! The LOGO~! hits the screen one more time as we cut back to live action, as Tina stands in the ring awaiting her opponent. "It's Goin' Down" by the Linkin' Park feat. the X-ecutioners hits the PA system, and the arena slowly fades to black. A deep blue hue covers the arena, white strobe lights begin flashing at the entrance, and a thick smoke pours out from the locker room. Watch them flee Watch them flee Wa...Wa...Watch them flee Hip-Hop hits *scratch* *scratch* And you do it like this! Suddenly, the locker room curtains swing open and out walks Chris Bryte to a chorus of boos from the capacity crowd. As always, he's wearing his trademark shades as he heads down the ramp to ringside. BUFFER And her opponent, hailing from Topeka, Kansas, also weighing in at 175 pounds...CHRRRRRIS...BRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYTE! Bryte thrusts his fists into the air, enciting more boos from the crowd. When he reaches the bottom of the ramp, Bryte turns to the crowd, spotting a fan in the front row wearing a long blonde wig and a yellow bandana with "BRYTE-A-MANIA" printed on the front in red letters. He's also wearing a yellow tank, with "BRYTE RULES" printed on the front. Bryte points to the fan and laughs. COACH Heh...Bryte-A-Mania's runnin' wild, BROTHER! CABOOSE Yeah, these moronic fans are actually beginning to catch on. Chris Bryte is the future, baby! Bryte then goes through a series of Hogan-esque poses for the crowd as Tina grows increasingly impatient in the ring. Finally, she throws up her hands, slides out to the floor and blindsides Bryte with a vicious clothesline, sending him right to the floor. Bryte's music stops abruptly and the crowd begins to cheer as Tina starts putting the boots to Bryte. CABOOSE Now wait a damn minute! COLE Tina not wanting to waste any time just went after Chris Bryte! Tina is all over the Bryte man! CABOOSE BACKFIGHTER! The ref slides out to the floor to try and get Tina off of Bryte, but he's shoved hard to the concrete. The distraction caused by the referee buys Bryte time to distance himself from Tina and pull himself back to his feet, and when Tina turns back to face him, he extends his hands forward and begins to beg off. With the crowd cheering her on, Tina advances on Bryte, causing him to backpedal a bit before lunging at Tina with an attempted Judo chop to the head. She catches his wrist, however, shoves it down by his side and runs right through him with another clothesline. Bryte springs back to his feet, only to get ROCKED with a right hand, causing him to spin out and stumble forward in the direction opposite Tina. Tina then moves up behind Bryte, grabs him by the hair and the waistband of his trunks and rolls him into the ring. Both she and the referee follow Bryte in, and the bell sounds. *DING DING DING* COLE There's the bell, and this thing is officially underway. Tina advances on Bryte once again, but he rolls to the outside, drawing boos from the crowd. Tina follows him to the outside and Bryte quickly makes his way around the ring, with Tina hot on his trail. Bryte makes his way back in on the opposite side of the ring, with Tina following closely behind... ...suddenly, Bryte pounces on her, catching her with a Judo chop to the back of the head. CABOOSE Haha! Great move by Bryte! COLE Bryte just lured Tina in, and look at him go to work... CABOOSE Right on that injured head, too! Bryte catches her with a double chop to the head, sending her face down to the canvas, then drops down and grabs a front facelock, which he uses to drive repeated knee lifts into the head of his ex-fiancee. With the crowd booing him in the background, Bryte uses the facelock to muscle Tina back to a standing position, at which point, he releases the hold and rips into her with a hard knife edge chop. Another double chop to the head sends Tina staggering back into the ropes. Bryte then grabs Tina's left arm and tries to send her in for an Irish whip, but Tina cartwheels through the move and flips Bryte off. Bryte charges her with an attempted clothesline, but she ducks, and his momentum sends him into the ropes. As he comes off, Tina tries to catch him with a reverse elbow, but he ducks under, catches her by her left hand and sends her into the ropes. When Tina rebounds, Bryte tries to catch her coming off with what looks to be a sidewalk slam, but Tina uses her momentum to counter his attempt with a satellite headscissors, nearly flinging Bryte out of the ring and drawing a pop from the crowd. Bryte quickly returns to his feet, only to walk into a dropkick to the chest by the Superwoman. Back to his feet once again, Bryte charges Tina but is driven face down to the canvas by a drop toehold. Tina floats over into a front facelock of her own, and begins delivering her own knee lifts to Bryte's head, driving the crowd into a frensy. COLE Tina's giving Chris Bryte a taste of his own medicine, and this crowd is loving it. On the canvas, Tina applies pressure to the front facelock as Bryte attempts to find a way of escape. He soon finds it, twisting out of the hold into a hammerlock. He then floats over and locks on a side headlock to regain control. Bryte squeezes tightly on Tina's injured head, causing her to squirm around on the canvas, and with the hold still applied, Bryte plays to the crowd. BRYTE I've got her, baby! (crowd boos) Suddenly, Tina grabs Bryte around the waist and rolls him back onto his shoulders. The referee counts 1...2...no! Bryte gets his shoulders off the canvas and turns back to the original position. Bryte breathes a sigh of relief, but Tina quickly rolls him up a second time for 1...2...NO! Bryte gets his shoulders off the mat again. Back to the original headlock position, where Tina begins trying to force her way out of the hold. She forces Bryte up to knee, then up to a standing position. Tina drives Bryte back into the ropes, drives two forearms into Bryte's midsection then shoves him into the far side. Bryte ducks a clothesline coming off and runs to the other side. This time, coming off, Bryte tries a baseball slide, but on his way through, Tina closes her legs, with her shins catching Bryte right up under the armpits. She then uses her legs to turn Bryte over into a reverse pin (think Pillman/Liger from Superbrawl II without the bridge) for the count of 1...2...NO! Kickout by Bryte sends Tina forward into the ropes Both competitors quickly get back to their feet and go at one another, with Bryte catching Tina with a Judo chop to the head. Tina responds with a right hand. Bryte with another chop. Another right hand from Tina. Bryte with a right hand. Tina comes back! Bryte! Tina! Bryte! Tina! Bryte! Tina! And guess what, fans... COLE THIS THING HAS TURNED INTO A SLUGFEST! Yup-si-doodle! And Tina's getting the upper hand. Right hand staggers Bryte! Another one. And another. *CRACK* CROWD WOOOO~! HARD knife edge chop sends Bryte staggering back into a buckle, at which point, Tina starts to unload on him. Right hands. Forearms. Chops! HARD European uppercut rattles Bryte's jaw! COLE Tina's got Bryte on the run! CABOOSE Damn it, Chris! C'mon! You can't lose to this woman! Not again! Not in a wrestling match! Tina sends Bryte to the opposite buckle with an Irish whip, but before making impact, Bryte catches himself and leaps up onto the second rope. Before he can take advantage of the counter, Tina comes up from behind, tucks her head between his legs and lifts him up onto her shoulders in electric chair position. The crowd clamors in the background as Tina carries him back out to the center of the ring, clasps his hands, then brings him down with a Japanese Ocean Cyclone Suplex. She holds the bridge... 1... 2... NO! Bryte manages to kickout after a count of TWOOOOOOOOO~! Tina climbs back to her feet and turns back to Bryte, who crawls back into the corner and begins to beg off once again. Tina looks into the crowd for a moment (as if to ask for their approval) before moving in. She grabs a handful of Bryte's hair, but at the last second, Bryte reaches up and grabs her by the waistband of her pants, yanking her headfirst into the top turnbuckle. With Tina somewhat dazed, Bryte climbs back to his feet and pounces her again, nailing her with a barrage of punches and chops to the back of her head. Bryte then presses Tina's back up against the buckle, climbs upon the second rope and into 10-count position. He looks into the crowd with a sinister smile before pounding Tina right in the head with... CROWD 1...2...3...4....5... ...right hands! Tina shoves Bryte to the mat on the fifth, but he immediately rolls back to his feet, charges her and leaps back into position. With his feet firmly planted on the middle rope, and his body straddling Tina's, he fires off... CROWD 1...2...3...4... ...more right hands to her head. Tina shoves him back down on the fourth, and again, Bryte rolls back to his feet and charges at Tina, but this time when he leaps at her, Tina catches him coming in with a bearhug. Bryte's eyes open wide with shock as Tina carries him out to the center of the ring and drops him down across her right knee with an inverted atomic drop. Bryte bounces into the air, letting out a high-pitched scream as he clutches at his groin. Tina sends him to the mat with a clothesline. Bryte pops back to his feet, only to be mowed down with a second clothesline from the Superwoman. Bryte returns to his feet once more and walks right into Tina's waiting arms as she grabs him and lifts him up for a press slam, bringing the fans to their feet! COACH Oh DAMN! COLE What strength by Tina! Tina has a slight smile on her face as she holds Bryte high above her head and turns to face the main camera. To show off her strength, she presses Bryte 1...2...3 times before dropping him face down onto the canvas behind her, then following up with a standing moonsault right to the small of his back! The crowd goes wild as Tina returns to her feet with a look of intensity in her eyes. That look quickly disappears however, as Tina suddenly stumbles forward and into the ropes. COLE Huh? COACH What happened? CABOOSE It's her head. She still hasn't recovered from those head injuries she's suffered! Indeed. Tina drops down to a knee and clutches at her head as the referee moves in to check on her. She shoves him aside and tries to pull herself back to her feet, but upon doing so, Bryte comes in and blasts her with a spinning back kick that catches her right in the gut, doubling her over. Bryte follows up with another double chop to the back of the head, then grabs her in another front facelock. He flashes a smile to the crowd as he tosses Tina's arm back over his head. COLE Oh wait a minute... CABOOSE He could be going for that brainbuster, Cole! COLE We saw this two weeks ago. With Tina in position, Bryte lifts her up for the brainbuster, holding her high above his head for a moment to make her think about it. Before Bryte can follow through with the move, Tina shifts her weight, causing Bryte to drop her forward over the top rope and onto the ring apron. Bryte moves in to attack her, but Tina shoots her head between the top and middle ropes, catching Bryte with a shoulder thrust to the gut. She follows up with a second that doubles Bryte over. She goes for a third, but-- *CRACK* Bryte sidesteps it and catches her with a HARD shin kick right to to the forehead. *CRACK* A second shot causes Tina to fall to her knees with her eyes rolling into the back of her head. Bryte then backs up a few steps, measuring Tina as she tries to gather herself along the middle rope. With a sinister smile on his face, Bryte springs into action, hitting off the ropes, darting at Tina and catching her right in the head with a rolling front kick, knocking her back off the apron and onto the arena floor. Bryte pops back to his feet and raises his arms into the air, drawing LOUD boos from the capacity crowd. COLE What a piece of garbage. Tina is down on the outside...she's hurt and she may be hurt badly. CABOOSE Yeah, I think she's finding out that she made a mistake by stepping into the ring so soon after that injury. COLE You may be right, Caboose. Tina's down on the outside...the referee putting the count down...fans, we've gotta take a break. Our cameras are rolling, and whatever happens during the break, we'll bring it to you on the other side. Don't go away! The camera focuses on Tina, who's lying in almost a fedal position on the outside. The official begins putting the count down on her just as we fade to commercial. ***COMMERCIAL*** When the break ends, Chris Bryte is on the outside choking Tina across the guardrail. COLE Fans, we're back on HeldDOWN~! Chris Bryte and Tina still going at it here tonight, and during the break, it was all Chris Bryte. He has dominated Tina on the outside and continues to do so...c'mon ref! He's choking the life outta her out there! CABOOSE Stop whining and call the match. Bryte yanks Tina off the guardrail and sends her crashing her to the floor. Suddenly, Bryte turns to that fan of his that's seated in the front row and calls for something. After the two converse for a moment, the fan takes off his "BRYTE RULES" tank top and hands it to Bryte. The crowd boos in the background as Bryte turns back to Tina (who's now back to her knees), and flashes the shirt in her face. BRYTE You see this?! BRYTE RULES, BITCH! BRYTE RULES! Suddenly, Tina catches him with a right hand to the gut. A second doubles him over. She begins to rise back to her feet, but... *CRACK* ...a roundhouse kick by Bryte catches her right in the temple, sending her right back to her knees, at which point, Bryte positions himself behind her, grabs a rear naked choke with his left arm and places the t-shirt over her mouth and nose, smothering her. The referee slides out to the floor to break the two up... REF C'mon, Chris! Let her go! 1...2...3...4... Bryte shoves Tina down, causing her head to smack hard off the arena floor. The referee admonishes him once again, but Bryte shoves him aside and goes back to work on Tina. He grabs her by the hair, pulls her back up to her knees, then rips into her with a reverse knife edge to the back. A second, followed by a kick to the back of the head, sending her down on all fours. Bryte then picks Tina up and rolls her back into the ring. Before following her inside, Bryte reaches down, grabs the t-shirt and puts it on. He then calls back over to his fan in the crowd. COLE What is this idiot doing now? Chris Bryte and this fan... CABOOSE Oh wait a minute...don't tell me... The fan hands Bryte his blonde wig and the bandana, both of which Bryte put on to a slight pop from the crowd. He then busts into another series of Hogan poses... CABOOSE OH YEAH! IT'S BRYTE-A-MANIA, BABY! COLE I can't believe this. COACH Me either. Bryte cocks both fists and begins to tremble Hogan-style as a surge of energy flows through his veins. He then slides back into the ring and confronts a groggy Tina, wagging his index finger in her face. CABOOSE Tina...WHATCHA GONNA DO?! She tries for a right hand but it's blocked, and Bryte connects with a straight right hand of his own. Bryte follows up with a second. A third sends Tina staggering back into the ropes. Irish whip sends Tina to the far side, and when she comes off, Bryte floors her with the big boot. The crowd boos Bryte wildly in the background as he turns to them and cups his hand over his right ear. COLE I can't believe what I'm seeing. With Tina down on the canvas, Bryte hits off the ropes, and coming off, he leaps into the air for a Big leg drop that... ...MISSES! CABOOSE NO! COLE Tina moved! Tina's still in this thing! CABOOSE Get up, Chris! He does, and is clutching at his lower back as he climbs back to his feet. Suddenly, Tina moves in on him, catching him in another front facelock... COLE DDTINA COMING UP-- NO!!! Bryte counters with two elbows to the kidneys, then twists out into a standing side armbar. From there, he turns into it at takes Tina over with a Judo throw, and with her in a seated position on the canvas, Bryte grabs her right arm and pulls her into a triangle choke. The crowd boos in the background as Bryte applies pressure. COLE Triangle choke by Chris Bryte. Tina is in some trouble. COACH Bryte's got it locked in tight. Bryte has a look of intensity in his eyes as he wrenches back on the hold as Tina desperately tries to find a way of escape. With the fans clapping and stomping in unison, Tina manages to make her way up to her knees, and from that position, she once again tries to roll Chris Bryte back onto his shoulders... ...AND SHE DOES! The referee counts 1...but Bryte quickly lifts his shoulder up off the mat, still managing to keep the hold applied. Undaunted, Tina shifts her weight, putting Bryte's shoulders back down onto the canvas. 1...2...Bryte raises the shoulder one once again and applies more pressure to the hold. The crowd continues clapping and stomping, and chants of "TINA, TINA" begin to echo throughout the arena. With the crowd surging behind her, Tina attempts to power her way out of the hold. She rolls back onto his neck, allowing her to find her feet. From there, she begins to lift Bryte up off the canvas... ...BUT NO! She can't get him up! She tries once again to lift him, but again, is unable to hold him, and ends up dropping him. Bryte has a big smile on his face as the crowd boos in the background. COLE Bryte's got this hold cinched in good...Tina's tried to find a way to escape...she tried to power out of it, but her attempts have been futile. CABOOSE I think the hold's starting to have its effect on her. I think she's beginning to fade. Indeed...slowly but surely, Tina's body begins to go limp. As Bryte continues to cinch up on the hold, the referee kneels down by Tina's side to see if he can get a response from her. When she doesn't respond, he raises her left arm into the air... ...AND THE ARM DROPS! COACH Uh oh! CABOOSE She's out! The official raises her arm once again... ...AND THE ARM DROPS AGAIN. The crowd begins clapping and stomping once more, trying to rally behind Tina once again. The referee raises her arm one last time... and the arm... it... it... ...STAYS UP! The crowd pops for Tina in the background. COLE The arm stays up! Tina's still in this thing! The clapping and stomping continues as Tina begins to come to life. Once again, she gets her feet under her and rolls Bryte back up onto the back of his neck. COACH Looks like she's gonna try and power out of this thing again! Indeed. She tries to lift Bryte...but again, is unable to lift him. Tina tries to lift him a second time, but drops him again. CABOOSE Just give up, Tina! You're done. With the crowd still surging behind her, Tina makes one more attempt to lift Bryte off the canvas. Slowly...but surely...she begins to muscle Bryte up off the canvas. Bryte's eyes open wide with fear as Tina lifts him high into the air and drops him down onto the back of his head with a powerbomb. Tina then falls to the canvas, exhausted! COLE Bryte is down! Chris Bryte is down again! CABOOSE But so is Tina! I think she used every ounce of strength left in her body to execute that move! She's done! COLE You may be right! Chris Bryte...my God he hit hard off the canvas. The chants of "TINA" start up once more as Tina begins crawling over to the ropes, hoping to pull herself back to her feet. Meanwhile, on the other side of the ring, Bryte is just beginning to stir after the powerbomb from Tina. He rolls over into a seated position, shakes his head to clear out the cobwebs, then pushes himself back up to his feet. He starts over to Tina, who by now has pulled herself back to her feet. Bryte rears back, preparing to strike her, when suddenly, Tina hauls off and blasts Bryte on the jaw with a hard right hook, sending him staggering out to the center of the ring. Bryte tries to gather himself in order to fire back, but Tina catches him with another hard right, causing him to spin out and stumble into the opposite direction. With Bryte loopy from the right hands, Tina runs to the ropes opposite him, and when she comes off, she leaps up onto his shoulders for a huracanrana... ...BUT BRYTE COUNTERS THAT WITH A SITOUT POWERBOMB! Tina's shoulders are down... 1... 2... THRRRRR--NO! TINA MANAGES TO KICK OUT JUST BEFORE THE COUNT OF THREE! Bryte returns to his feet and grabs a handful of Tina's hair. He pulls her up to her knees, rears back and drives the point of his elbow into the back of Tina's head before grabbing her in a head-and-arm lock and driving her face down to the canvas. With his hands clasped up against Tina's temple, Bryte begins to wrench back on her head and neck. COLE Bryte with another submission hold locked in... CABOOSE And notice the positioning of his hands, Cole. Bryte's still applying pressure to the head. Bryte continues to wrench back on the hold as Tina tries to find a way of escape. She tries to turn into the hold, pressing her right elbow against the canvas and rolling onto her right side to aleviate some of the pressure. She manages to turn her body a bit more, gaining enough leverage to roll Bryte over into a pinning combination! COLE Bryte's shoulders are down! 1... 2... NO! Bryte kicks out of it and rolls back to a knee, with the hold still cinched in tight. The crowd begins to come alive again, and the Tina chants start up once more as she attempts to force her way back to a standing position. She pushes herself back up to her knees, then plants her right foot into the canvas. Bryte tightens his grip, grinding his fists into Tina's temple, causing her to cry out in pain. She keeps fighting, though, as she extends her right arm into the air and begins reaching for the heavens. The clapping and stomping starts up again as Tina muscles her way up to a vertical base, with Bryte rising as well in order to maintain leverage. With both competitors on their feet, Tina tries to go for the ropes, but Bryte yanks her back out to the center of the ring. She makes a second attempt for the ropes, but Bryte yanks her away once more. Out of desperation, Tina fires off a series of right hands to Bryte's face, causing him to release his grip. COLE She's out! Tina's broken the hold! CABOOSE Get on her Bryte! He does, nailing the Superwoman with a Judo chop to the head, to which Tina responds with a looping right hand. Bryte's staggered a bit, but quickly manages to grab a side headlock and apply more pressure to Tina's head. Tina fights the hold furiously, pounding his arm with wild right hands before shoving him sternum first into a nearby turnbuckle. Bryte staggers backwards clutching at his chest, allowing Tina to come up from behind, grab him by the head and drop to her knees, driving the back of Bryte's neck down onto the top of her head. The crowd pops in the background as both Tina and Bryte roll around on the canvas in pain. COLE What a move by Tina. CABOOSE What a stupid move, you mean. I mean, really, after all the damage that's been done, why would Tina use her head at a time like this? COLE Desperation move on the part of Tina. She said a couple of weeks back that if she had to hurt herself in order to hurt Chris Bryte, then that's what she'd do. Well she just did it right there, and both of them are down. Tina clutches at her head and Bryte holds his neck nearby as the referee begins to count both competitors out. 1... 2... 3... Bryte rolls over onto his knees, still clutching at the back of his head and neck. 4... 5... Bryte slowly pulls himself back to a standing position and the referee's count stops at five. Bryte's takes a moment or two to regain his bearings before turning back to Tina, who by now has crawled over to the ropes and is using them to pull herself back to her feet. Bryte shakes out the last bit of cobwebs before starting over towards her and grabbing her by the back of her pants and pulling her back to her feet. From there, he tucks his head under her left armpit and lifts her up for a back suplex... ...however, Tina back flips out of the move and lands on her feet behind Bryte. She then grabs a rear waistlock on Bryte, but Bryte catches her with a reverse elbow to the jaw. Tina ducks under a second elbow and Bryte's momentum turns him around, allowing Tina to take him over with a Northern Light's Suplex. She holds onto the move, rolling through and bringing Bryte back to his feet, where she takes him over with another Northern Light's Suplex. She holds on yet again, rolls back to a standing position and delivers a third suplex, kipping back to her feet upon impact and shooting an intense glare into the crowd. The fans roar in approval. COACH Uh oh. COLE I think Tina just got her second wind. Indeed. Breathing heavily and still holding her head, Tina slowly turns back to Bryte, who's beginning to pull himself back to his feet. Tina glares at him long and hard, her breaths growing deeper and more rapid. Then, when Bryte finds his feet, Tina arches her back, frizzes up her hair and charges at Bryte like a woman gone mad. Hard right by Tina tags Bryte's jaw. A knife edge chop sends him reeling back into the buckle, at which point Tina charges him, leaping onto his chest and nailing him with a barrage of rights and left hands before sending him flying back out towards the center of the ring with a monkey flip. Bryte clutches at his lower back as he pulls himself back to his feet, only to be sent right back down to the canvas courtesy of a Tina clothesline. Bryte pops up once again, but Tina mows him down with a second clothesline. Bryte reaches his feet one more time, only to catch a knife edge chop to the chest. A second one sends him staggering back into the ropes, at which point Tina grabs his left arm and sends him into the far side. Bryte ducks the clothesline coming off. Coming off the opposite side, Bryte ducks a reverse elbow. Bryte comes off once more and runs right into a BIG powerslam from Tina! The leg is hooked... 1... 2... NO!!!!!!!! Bryte shoots the shoulder off the canvas just before the count of three! Tina quickly returns to her feet and uses Bryte's hair to bring him back to his. Hard knee lift by Tina catches him right up under the chin. A second sends Bryte's body flailing down onto the second rope. At this point, Tina runs to the far side and comes off with a Kevin Nash-style squisher, but Bryte moves at the last second, and Tina crotches herself along the middle rope. Bryte crawls away on his knees, pointing at his temple to indicate his intelligence to the crowd. However, the miss naturally has NO EFFECT on Tina, and as soon as Bryte turns around, she runs at him and turns him head over heels with a Yakuza Kick. "Holy Shit" chants start up in the crowd as Tina rolls him over onto his back and covers him. Referee with the count... 1... 2... THR--NO!!!!!!! Only TWOOOOO~! Tina covers him again, this time hooking the leg... 1... 2... THRRRRRRRRR...NO! NO! NO! Bryte barely manages to kick out before the referee's hand strikes the mat a third time. COLE My God! What does Tina have to do to beat Chris Bryte?! COACH DUH! She has to pin him, silly! COLE Wha...huh?! COACH Or make him submit! Geez...and people call me stupid. COLE It was a rhetor...it was...(flags Coach). Tina's back up to her feet, going for a handful of Bryte's hair when suddenly, Bryte reaches up and claws at her eyes, drawing boos from the crowd. Tina, holding her eyes, turns away from Bryte, allowing him to slip in from behind and bring her over with a schoolboy. COLE Wait a minute! HE'S GOT THE TIGHTS, DAMN IT! 1... 2... THRRR--NO!!!!!! Tina kicks out just before three! Bryte rises to his feet, beefing with the official over what he felt was slow count. As they argue, Tina returns to her feet and comes up behind Bryte, twisting her body around and managing to take him over in a modified sunset flip! Shoulders are down.. CROWD 1...2... Bryte shifts his weight, moving into a position where he's lying face up on top of Tina. Tina's shoulders are down... CROWD 1...2... NO! Tina grabs an inverted rear waistlock and uses that to bridge back up to a standing position. With both of them on their feet, Tina maneuvers him around into a backslide attempt. The crowd pops in the background as Tina works to bring him over, with Bryte working as hard as possible to stay vertical. COLE Tina's got Bryte hooked for the backslide! Can she bring him over? CABOOSE Drop to your knees, Chris! Drop to your knees... COACH BRYTE'S GOING OVER! CABOOSE NO! CHRIS...HOLD ON! Chris tries to hold on, but to no avail, as Tina brings his shoulders to the mat for... CROWD 1...2... NO! Bryte kicks out! Bryte quickly returns to his feet and catches Tina with a kick right to the head. Reverse knife edge sends her back into the ropes. Bryte uses her left arm to send her in, but Tina reverses the momentum and sends Bryte into the ropes. Bryte goes in with a Tajiri-like handspring, but as he snaps back for the elbow, Tina dips her head, managing to catch him in another electric chair. The crowd clamors as Tina walks him forward then drops him down in front of her, with Bryte's neck snapping hard off the top rope. Bryte staggers back into a far corner, clutching at his throat and gasping for air. Suddenly, Tina charges him and sandwiches him into the buckle with a hard clothesline. Bryte's body convulses in the buckle upon impact, stopping only when Tina moves back in and nails him with a hard forearm shot. Tina triples up on the forearm, then whips Bryte into the opposite buckle, causing him to hit with tremendous force. Then, Tina snaps her fingers and points her index finger into the air, drawing a pop from the crowd. COACH Uh oh. You know what this is! COLE Shades of her sister Joanie! Tina comes at Bryte with a running handspring elbow, but as snaps back after the second revolution, Bryte tips up against the buckle and catches her coming in with a headscissors. Bryte figure-fours his legs around her neck, then leans back over the top rope, strangling her. Tina flails her arms violently as the referee moves in and calls for the break. REF C'mon Chris! 1...2...3...4... Bryte releases the hold on five, causing Tina's body to fall forward to the mat. She crawls away from the ropes, breathing heavily trying to get some air back into her lungs. Suddenly, Bryte steps in from the apron, darts to the ropes opposite Tina, and... *WHAM* ...catches her coming off with a devastating shining wizard! Bryte falls into a cover...hook of the leg... 1... 2.... 3~! COLE NO!!!! NOT 3!!!!! TINA GOT THE SHOULDER UP! CABOOSE WHAT?! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! Neither can Bryte. He begins rolling around on the canvas, going through a brief Christian-like tantrum. Once he composes himself, he turns back to Tina and signals for the end. CABOOSE This is it! Bryte's tired of playing with her. He's gonna finish it NOW! Indeed. He brings Tina back up by her hair and nails her with two knee lifts to the head before scooping her up over his shoulder. The crowd clamors in the background. COLE This could be all! COACH Bryte Out coming up! Bryte presses his hands under Tina's armpits, lifting her high into the air...then brings her down... But Tina lands on her feet behind him! She grabs him by the hair, pulls hims back into an inverted headlock and drives him to the canvas with the Red Light Special (Eye of the Hurricane)! COLE RED LIGHT SPECIAL BY TINA!!! CHRIS BRYTE IS DOWN!!! COVER HIM, TINA! COVER HIM! CABOOSE You're supposed to be unbiased here, Cole! COLE The hell with that! After all this jackass Bryte's put Tina through...wait a minute! What's she doing?! With Bryte down in the center of the ring (still clad in his Hogan-esque attire, mind you) Tina rolls out to the apron and prepares to ascend the turnbuckles. COLE Ladies and gentlemen...Bryte is down...Tina's headed to the top... CABOOSE This is a mistake, Cole. Trust me! She's got the man down, she could've covered him, but she didn't, and now it's gonna come back to haunt her! COLE Let's hope not. With Bryte still prone on the canvas, Tina perches herself up on top. She slowly stands upright on top, raises her arms into the air (with both index fingers pointed to the heavens), then leaps off the top with a flying elbow... ...THAT MISSES!!!!!! Bryte rolls out of the way at the last second, and Tina gets nothing but canvas. CABOOSE HAHA! SEE! I TOLD YOU IT WOULD HAUNT HER! I TOLD YOU! COLE Tina's down...and she appears to have hurt that arm! Indeed. She's clutching at her right elbow as she rolls around on the canvas in pain. The referee heads over to check on her as Bryte, still down himself, points over to Tina and laughs. It's a good, long, hard laugh too! Bryte's laughing so hard that he doesn't see MACHO MAN RANDY SAVAGE perching himself atop the opposite buckle! CABOOSE Oh my God! CHRIS!!! LOOK OUT! LOOK OUT!!!!! *BOOOOOOM* Savage dives from the top and NAILS Bryte with his patented flying elbow, driving the crowd into a frenzy! He springs back to his feet, yells "I GOT YOU HOGAN! YEEEEEAH!!!", then slides out to the floor before the ref can spot him. The crowd goes WILD in the background as Savage heads towards the locker room. CABOOSE DAMN IT, RANDY! COLE Chris Bryte's all dressed up in that Hogan outfit...Savage thought that Bryte was Hogan! CABOOSE Savage, you idiot! He has gotta be fired! After determining that Tina's arm is ok following the missed elbow, he waves her on, allowing the match to continue. Tina looks out towards the center of the ring and spots the unconscious Bryte. CABOOSE Oh my God, no! COLE Chris Bryte is out! Tina's got the match won! She crawls to Bryte and drapes her body across his as the referee slides into position to count... 1... 2... 3!!!! NO!!!!! 2.999999~! COLE How in the hell?! How did Chris Bryte kick outta that?! How?! CABOOSE He is a true man's man! Admit it! Give him credit! Tina looks frustrated as she grabs a handful of hair and drags Bryte back to his feet. She then tucks his head into another front facelock... COLE Here it comes! DDTINA-- NO! Bryte twists out, winds up on Tina's arm and Irish whips her...RIGHT INTO THE REFEREE! COLE Oh no! The official just got wiped out, folks! Tina leans down to check on the ref, but Bryte takes advantage, rushing her from behind and nailing her in the back of the head with a Judo chop. Tina staggers, dazed from the blow. Suddenly, Bryte hooks her arms then lifts her up into Vertebreaker position. COLE Oh no! CABOOSE He calls this move the Bryte Side! COACH This could be it... But it isn't. Tina manages to roll off of Bryte's back and land on her feet behind him. She then shoves him forward into the ropes, and when he comes off, Tina doubles him over with a boot to the midsection, then drives him to the mat with the DDTINA!!!!! The crowd erupts as Bryte's body bounces into the air before landing flat on the canvas. Tina instinctively goes for the cover, but then she realizes that the ref is unconscious. COLE Damn it! Tina's got the match won! CABOOSE But who knocked out the referee? She's got no one to blame but herself for that one! Tina slaps the canvas in frustration as she heads back over to the ref's body to revive him. Suddenly, the camera cuts out to the floor, where a HUGE black man steps out over the guardrail, clad in a tan sleeveless tee, tight blue jeans and tan boots! COLE My God, who the hell is that?! COACH Isn't that...isn't that the same guy that attacked Panther at Living Anglelously?! COLE I...believe it is! As Tina continues to shake the ref, the unknown man climbs upon the ring apron, steps over the top rope and walks up behind Tina with a psychotic look on her face. Tina, noticing the shadow looming over her, turns around, and her eyes open wide with fear as she lays her eyes on the monster. Her body trembling, Tina starts to rise to her feet, when suddenly... *WHAM* ...the man catches her flush on the forehead with THE STIFFEST LOOKING PUNCH IMAGINABLE! Tina's KO'd upon impact, and the man quickly grabs the unconscious Bryte and pulls him on top of her. From there, he revives the referee, then slides out to the floor, with the crowd booing like crazy all the while! The referee slowly begins to stir, then looks up, spotting the pinfall... COLE Oh no! Kick out, Tina! Kick out! The ref raises his hand, then brings it down to the canvas for 1... 2.... 3~! *DING DING DING* **Cue "It's Goin' Down" BUFFER Here is your winner: CHRIS...BRRRRYYYYYYTE! COLE DAMN IT! Chris Bryte has won this match with a HUGE assist from this...this monster of a man! Who the hell is that?! CABOOSE I dunno, but whoever he is, he absolutely laid Tina out! One punch too...and look! He split her head wide open! COLE My God! In the ring, Tina is lying flat on her back with a trickle of blood flowing from her head. Suddenly, the huge man slides back into the ring, grabs the unconscious Bryte by the ankle and yanks him out to the arena floor. He lifts Bryte up over his shoulder fireman's style and carries him up the ramp and back to the locker room. Meanwhile, a host officials rush out from the back to attend to Tina. COACH How hard did that guy hit her? COLE That had to be one of the most sickening shots I've even seen! Tina's down...she's busted open... CABOOSE She may even have reaggravated that head injury! How great would that be? COLE I certainly hope that's not the case! On stage, the big man turns back and faces the ring one last time before disappearing through the curtains. The officials continue to work on Tina inside the ring as we fade to commercial.

MC It's now time for our 24/7 Title contest of the evening, as Hoff is defending against Sly Sommers, on orders from Abe Vigoda for the Thrillogy's dastardly attack on Axel last week. COACH This is also revenge time for Sly, since Hoff cost Sly the European Rounds match he had against Calvin Szechstein at School's Out. CABOOSE You mean how that chair magicially flew out of Hoff's hands and into the ring, and how Sly was too dumb to move and ended up tripping over it? MC Whatever, you fool....let's get to the match! ("Gimme Back My Bullets" starts up, and Sly Sommers starts his entrance as the fans cheer for him. Sly slaps hands with some fans seated in the front row as he walks to the ring. ) COACH You can still see the welt above Sly's right eye from the Code Red Clash he took on that chair at School's Out. MC And you know that Sly will be looking to give Hoff one identical above HIS right eye. ("Black" then kicks in, as the spiffy lights show brings in Hoff, wearing his 24/7 Title belt over his shoulder. He cockily avoids all of the fans' attempts at slapping his hand, and even grabs a sign that says "Hoff LOVES The Cock!" and rips it to pieces.) CABOOSE That's the way to do it, man! Kill those marks! COACH You just broke kayfabe; can you please fix it? There's glue and tape over there... BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall, with a thirty minute time limit and is for the OAOAST 24/7 Championship! Introducing first...weighing in tonight at 198 pounds, he is a former X-Division Champion; from Bayside, California...Sly "The Sly" Sommers! (cheers) BUFFER And his opponent...from Minneapolis, Minnesota...weighing in tonight at 275 pounds...he is the current, reigning, and defending X-Division Champion of the WOOOOOOOORLD! Representing the Thrillogy, he is HOFF! (Boos as Hoff teases the crowd) *DING* *DING* Both men circle around the center of the ring, and then lock up. Hoff uses his obvious size and power advantage to toss Sly down on the mat, and then laugh at his smaller opponent. Sly gets back on his feet, holding his back from the impact of the shove. Both men then lock up again. They struggle until Sly pulls Hoff over with an armdrag. Sly laughs at Hoff as Hoff angrily rises to his feet to engage in yet another collar-and-elbow tie-up with Sommers. Hoff uses his power to lift Sly on the top turnbuckle, and then land a stiff forearm to his face, sending him down on the apron! MC To quote Sly right then, "OUCH!" Sly comes back into the ring, and holds his face as he gets to his feet. Hoff charges at Sly, but Sly dodges Hoff. Sly does a go-behind into a waistlock, but Hoff quickly pulls Sly's hands apart and brings him over with a headlock takedown. Sly brings his legs up, and then locks in a headscissors to break Hoff's side headlock. Hoff pulls his head out of the headscissors as both men come to their feet. MC Nice show of mat wrestling by both men there... Both men circle around again before coming together for a Greco-Roman knucklelock. Hoff lifts Sly by his hands and tosses him down. Sommers comes back up to his feet and goes for a hurricanrana. Hoff grabs him and flips him. Sly lands on his feet and ducks an attempted clothesline from Hoff. Both men turn around, and Hoff walks into a dropkick from Sly that sends him down. CABOOSE That's an illegal move, according to the Yorkshire "How to Be a Gentleman" handbook! Sly pulls Hoff up, and goes for an Irish whip. Hoff reverses and sends Sly off to the ropes. Sommers comes off of the ropes and nails a flying headscissors takeover. The momentum of the move brings Hoff back onto his feet and into a corner. Sommers then goes to the apron right beside Hoff, and brings him over with a slingshot flip armdrag. Sly locks in an armbar on the mat. Hoff gets out of it by rolling backwards and onto his feet. He then pulls Sly in (who still has ahold of his arm), lifts him on his shoulders, and nails an FU into a backbreaker! MC Ooh, what a devastating manuever! Hoff then pulls Sly up to his feet, and connects with a series of stiff European uppercuts. Hoff sends Sly to the ropes. Hoff bends over too soon for a backdrop, as Sly is able to roll backwards over his back. Sommers then hooks Hoff's waist, goes forward, and rolls back for an O'Connor Roll into a Cravateface attempt! Hoff quickly gets to the ropes to break the hold. COACH We almost had a new champion right there! Both men come to their feet, and lock up once again. Sly locks in a front facelock, but Hoff once again uses his power advantage to toss Sly with an overhead Northern Lights suplex! Hoff pulls Sly up and shoves him into a corner. Hoff then lets loose with a series of punches and kicks. He gets Sly to a seated position with the strikes before repeatedly ramming his knee into Sly's face. Hoff pulls Sly to his feet, and whips him off to the ropes. Hoff then lifts Sly for a gorilla press, and drops him throat-first onto the top rope! MC He just beheaded Sly Sommers! Hoff runs and comes off of the ropes adjacent to where Sly is, and connects with a stiff boot to the back of Sly's head! Hoff pulls Sly off of the canvas, and nails a vertical suplex. Hoff keeps ahold of Sly, gets up while pulling him to his feet, and nails a sit-down front suplex slam (less head-droppy Falcon Arrow). Hoff then goes for the cover..............1..................2...............kickout! Hoff then lifts Sly onto his shoulders in fireman's carry position, and drops him with a double-knee gutbuster! COACH That was harsh! Hoff then lifts Sly onto his shoulders in torture rack position, and drops down with an Abyss-style backbreaker. Hoff gets to his feet, and then pulls Sly up. Hoff slams Sly, goes to the ropes, and comes by with a jumping kneedrop. Hoff then locks in a rear chinlock. CABOOSE Classic wear-down hold here... MC More like classic resthold... CABOOSE And you got on MY case for breaking kayfabe? Sly slowly starts to clap his hands to get the crowd behind them. They start clapping rhythmically to show their support for Sly. Sly slowly comes to his feet. When he does, he quickly drops down with a chinbreaker to get out of the hold. Sly holds the top of his head for a second, and then gets up. He comes off of the ropes, and nails a flipping side neckbreaker on a bent-over Hoff. Sly keeps ahold of his neck long enough to bridge up and nail a regular neckbreaker! COACH It looks like Sly's getting another wind in him! Hoff comes up soon after Sly does, holding his neck in pain. Sly then connects with three forearms to the face, and attempts a tornado DDT. However, Hoff catches him, shifts him to fireman's carry position, and nails an inverted Samoan toss, landing Sly neck-first onto his knee (ala Billy Kidman). Hoff then sits Sly up, and nails two stiff toe kicks to the back of his head! Hoff follows up by lifting Sly over his shoulder in Dominator-position, and charges into the corner in Oklahoma Stampede-like fashion! MC Talk about trying to crush someone! Hoff then clutches Sly's throat and inner thigh, and tosses him to the mat. Hoff lifts Sly off of the mat, hooks him for a suplex, and then nails a corkscrew suplex, ala EZ Money. Hoff goes for the pin............1..............2..........kickout! Hoff cockily lifts Sly to his feet, and drops him with a stiff STO onto his knee, chaining that into an impressive Exploder suplex! CABOOSE My boy Hoff is using his obvious size and strength advantage to man-handle that vanilla midget! Hoff then stomps on Sly's head before pulling him up. He lifts Sly up for a side suplex, and drops him with an inverted backbreaker! Hoff then twists Sly around, and drops him with a snap Doctor Bomb (doesn't sit down with it). Hoff pulls Sly up, slaps him, and whips him off to the ropes again. Sly ducks Hoff's clothesline attempt and hops to the second rope. Hoff turns around and walks right into a flying back elbow. COACH And Sly's using his speed and agility advantage to get past his lack of size and strength! Both men come back up to their feet, and Sly slides between Hoff's legs for a go-behind. Hoff turns around, and walks into a rolling koppo kick from Sly that sends Hoff throat-first onto the middle rope. Sly then runs, comes off of the ropes on the other side, and connects with a brutal running dropkick to the back of Hoff's head! Hoff tumbles to the outside. When he rises to his feet, Sly goes for a pescado onto him, but Hoff catches him in slam position and charges at the ringpost, sending Sly spine-first into it. MC Damn...! Hoff keeps ahold of Sly and drops him back-first onto the edge of the guardrail! Hoff then stands Sly up, hooking Sly's arms behind the guardrail. Hoff then charges at Sly, and sends himself shoulder-first into Sly's mid-section! Hoff then tosses Sly into the ring. Hoff climbs in right after, and hooks him for a schoolboy cradle..............1.................2...............kickout! Hoff then whips Sly off to the ropes again, and nails a vicious jumping shoulderblock! COACH I thought the point was to pin the opponent's shoulders to the mat, not knock his shoulders off! Hoff lifts Sly up, and immediately nails a fallaway slam. He goes for the cover............1.............2..........kickout! Hoff lifts Sly, and hooks him for the finishing blow, the Rock Bottom. Sly sees what's coming, and desperately elbows his way out of the move. Sly then comes off of the ropes and goes for a spinning wheel kick. But, Hoff catches Sly as the momentum sends him backwards, and tosses Sly over his head and to the floor! CABOOSE That's how you cripple a nobody! MC That's a good thing why? Hoff goes to the apron and waits as Sly rises to his feet. Sly pulls himself up with the guardrail. As he gets to his feet, Hoff dives off and sends Sly down with a flying clothesline! After getting out of a slight daze, Hoff tosses Sly back inside of the ring and goes to the second rope himself. Hoff then hits a falling headbutt and goes for the pin..............1..........2...........kickout! Hoff lifts Sly and drops him with two backbreakers in a row, the second of which he chains into a standing headlock. Hoff quickly tires of the headlock, so he grabs Sly's left arm, twists him around as he lets go of the headlock, and pulls him in to nail a short-arm clothesline! Hoff then goes to the second rope and poses. COACH Now, come on...this is just arrogance! Hoff lifts Sly off of the mat in a waistlock, and then drives him on the back of his head with a release German suplex! Sly bounces so hard that he ends up being sent to the opposite side's corner! Hoff charges at him, and nails a stiff avalanche in the corner! Hoff then hooks Sly and nails a vicious overhead belly-to-belly suplex! CABOOSE Sly just shrunk a few inches! Hoff gets to his feet and nails a standing frog splash. Hoff goes for the cover..............1..............2.............kickout! Hoff then gets up and waits for Sly. When Sly makes it to his feet, Hoff goes for a charging big boot. However, Sly ducks and does a pivot step into a Russian legsweep! Sly rolls back to a pinning predicament...........1.................2...............kickout! Both men come back up, and Sly jumps into a wheelbarrow victory roll..............1...........2...........kickout! Sly then goes to the second rope as Hoff gets up. Hoff charges at Sly. Sly grabs Hoff's arm and goes for a divorce court. But, Hoff reverses it into an inverted backbreaker! CABOOSE Those little spurts of energy don't last long, do they? Hoff pulls Sly off of his knee with a full nelson as he stands up. Hoff then lifts Sly and drops him on his knee with yet another inverted backbreaker! The momentum actually makes Sly stand up, but Hoff quickly knocks him down with a forearm to the face. Hoff then lifts Sly in a wheelbarrow and drops him throat-first onto the top rope. Hoff then chains that with an impressive side suplex. MC Hoff is handling his smaller opponent with ease here... Hoff goes the the pin, but quickly decides against it. Hoff pulls Sly up and whips him off to the ropes. Hoff catches Sly with a hiptoss and sends him over the top rope and to the floor! COACH He's dead! Hoff climbs to the outside, pulls Sly up, and clubbers him back down with repeated, stiff Vader-like hammer forearms. Hoff pulls Sly up, and drives his face into the guardrail with a flatliner. Hoff turns around while keeping ahold of Sly, and drives him back-first into the edge of the apron with a Russian legsweep. Hoff then finds a chair set up in the corner, right next to the guardrail. He lifts Sly up and sits him down in it. Hoff goes to the other side of the ringside area, charges at Sly, and connects with a deadly running kick to the side of his head, nearly putting his own foot through the guardrail! CABOOSE OLE! OLE! OLE! OLE! MCThat's not our company's gimmick, Caboose... Hoff then grabs Sly and tosses him back into the ring. Hoff slides back in himself, with the chair in his hand. Hoff sets up the chair in mid-ring, pulls Sly up, and lifts him for a gorilla press. All of a sudden, Hoff drops Sly, and Sly falls face-first onto the chair! COACH That's the way to breaking a nose! The camera pans in on Sly's face to see that the chair's opened a deep cut in Sly's face, which is oozing with blood. Hoff then straddles Sly and starts punching repeatedly at the cut. Hoff rubs the blood that he gets on his hands on the referee's shirt. Hoff then pulls Sly up, lifts him for a slam, and drops him with a Catatonic Flatliner. Hoff then rolls sideways, turning the move into a camel clutch. Sly tries to fight off the hold, as well as the ever-increasing blood loss, and get to the ropes. CABOOSE There's no way he's getting to the ropes... Sly tries pulling Hoff's hands off of his chin, but he can't. Sly struggles to crawl to the ropes, even with all of Hoff's weight on his back.....and he gets a rope break! Hoff gets up and stomps on Sly's back. Hoff then lifts Sly and places him on the top turnbuckle while hitting him with forearms to the back to keep him in place. Hoff climbs to the top rope, and goes for an uber-superplex. But, Sly scores with a knee to Hoff's groin that sends Hoff flying down to the mat! MC That's how you even the playing field! Sly then shakes himself off and gets to a standing position on the top rope. Sly then leaps off and scores with a beautiful flying elbow drop! Sly goes for the cover..........1.....................2.................kickout! Sly then hooks Hoff's head in reverse DDT position as he attempts to lift him off of the mat for the One Hit Wonder. He gets Hoff up, but Hoff ends up getting out of the predicament by kneeing Sly repeatedly in the face. COACH That can't feel good... Hoff then sends Sly off to the ropes. Sly goes for a flying headscissors takeover, but Hoff reverses with a brutal tilt-a-whirl backbreaker! Hoff then hooks one of Sly's arms underneath his armpit, and lifts him to drop him with a pumphandle backbreaker! Hoff goes for the cover................1.......................2...................kickout! Hoff pulls Sly up and lifts him for a suplex. He keeps him up there for a while, even letting go with one hand for a few seconds to count. Hoff then drops him hard with the vertical suplex. Hoff gets to his feet, and signals for the Rock Bottom! CABOOSETHIS is it, bitches! Hoff waits for Sly to get to his feet. Sly just lays there. So, Hoff gets impatient and goes to lift him. But, it turns out that Sly's just playing possum, as he grabs Hoff's arm, pulls him onto the mat, and goes for the Cravateface! Hoff can't figure out a catch-as-catch-can reversal for the hold, so he starts punching Sly frantically before Sly finally has to let go of the hold. Hoff keeps ahold of Sly in that position, and stands up while holding onto him. Hoff lifts him, spins around, and drops him with a big Blue Thunder Bomb! He keeps him down for the cover....................1....................2...................kickout! COACH That was a close call! Hoff then signals to nail Sly with a big lariat. Sly slowly makes his way to his feet. When he does, Hoff charges at him and nearly knocks his head off with it! Hoff makes the cover, but Sly's leg got wrapped in the bottom rope. Hoff pulls Sly out, but then decides against covering Sommers and goes for the chair again. He sets it back up once again, and sits Sly down in it. Hoff then comes off of the ropes and goes for another lariat. But, Sly hops out of the chair and punches Hoff in the stomach at the last second! Sly then comes off of the ropes behind Hoff and bulldogs his face onto the seat of the chair! MC His face must smell like ass! Sly then places the chair on Hoff's face as Hoff lies on his back, and goes up top. Sly lifts off, but Hoff moves and Sly gives the chair a flying legdrop! Hoff shakes off and pulls Sly up. He hooks both of Sly's arms and drops Sly face-first on the chair with a double-underhook DDT! Hoff then pulls Sly up with a double-chicken wing and lands a bridging Tiger suplex..............1....................2............kickout! Hoff then rolls back and locks in a rear naked choke. But, Hoff is unaware of his ring positioning, as he ends up rolling back into the ropes and is forced to break immediately! COACH You have to know where you are at all time, or else you're gonna suffer! Hoff pulls Sly up and whips him off to the ropes. Hoff goes for a flapjack, but Sly reverses with a sunset flip...............1.................2................kickout! Both men come up and Sly nails a jumping heel kick to Hoff's jaw out of desperation. Sly pulls Hoff up with a Dragon sleeper neck clutch, obviously going for the One Hit Wonder. Hoff shoves Sly off hard enough that Sly ends up coming off of the ropes. Sly runs at Hoff, but runs right into a big spinebuster! Hoff goes for the cover....... 1.......... 2.......... KICKOUT! MC How'd he get out of that? Hoff hooks Sly's head and arm, obviously going for the Rock Bottom. He then shrugs his head "no", despite having Sly beaten. He then tosses Sly up and catches him in H-Bomb position! But, Sly repeatedly punches Hoff in the face and slips out of the back end. He hooks his legs under Hoff's armpits, yells out "FUCK CALVIN!", and nails Szechstein's own Code Red Clash! COACH That's how you send a message! Sly goes for the cover.... 1........... 2.......... KICKOUT! Sly pulls Hoff up, and attempts to lift him for the Sommerset. But, due to his hurt back and Hoff's weight, he can't get Hoff up. Sly turns around, hooks Hoff's head and one of his legs, and drops back to nail an inverted Overnight Sensation! Sly goes for the pin.........1..............2.........kickout! Hoff then rolls to the outside, as Sly charges at the ropes. Sly then launches himself through the ropes and nails an impressive tope suicida! Sly shakes off his daze and pulls a table out from underneath the ring. MC I think Sly's getting wood! CABOOSE I think YOU'RE getting wood, Cole! I'm scooting over! Hoff gets to his feet, and Sly repeatedly chops him in the chest to keep him at bay. Sly then rolls Hoff back into the ring. Sly then goes to the apron as Hoff gets to his feet. Sly springboards to the top rope and goes for a flying clothesline, but Hoff ducks. Both guys turn around and Hoff sends Sly down with a powerslam! Hoff then sees the table and sets it up. Hoff then pulls Sly up and lays him down on the table. Hoff goes to the second rope, and starts posing to irritate the fans at ringside. COACH What in the hell...? MC Good job wasting time there, champ! By the time Hoff is ready to do his move, Sly is already up and off of the table. Sly goes to the second rope right beside Hoff and starts squaring away Sly with a series of forearms to the face. Sly then hooks Hoff's head from behind, and nails an incredible flying One Hit Wonder, just barely missing the table! CABOOSE NO! NO! NO! MC This match is over! Sommers hurt himself on the way down, and is slow to make the cover. He finally crawls over and drapes his arm over Hoff... 1............. 2............. KICKOUT! Sly angrily pulls Hoff up, slides his thumb across his throat to signal, and goes for the piledriver. Hoff, however, is able to reverse with a backdrop onto the chair! Hoff then goes back to the second rope and attempts another falling headbutt. But, Sly moves and Hoff falls face-first onto the chair! CABOOSE GET UP, HOFF! Both men slowly make it back up to their feet, obviously dazed and pretty confused. Out of nowhere, Sly throws a superkick and both men go down. Sly pulls himself over to Hoff as the crowd cheers him to make it to the pin.........1..............2.........kickout! Sly can't believe it! He doesn't waste much time in disbelief, however, as he pulls Hoff up and attempts the piledriver once again. But, Hoff charges Sly into the corner back-first. Hoff then grabs Sly's legs and lifts him in powerbomb position. Hoff goes for a running powerbomb in the direction of the table, but Sly slips out of the back end. Both men turn around and Sly goes for the superkick again. Hoff catches Sly's foot and spins him around. But, Sly comes back with an incredible step-up enziguri! MC What a sequence of manuevers! Sly might have this one won now! Sly pulls himself up and grabs Hoff. He then lifts Hoff and places him on the table. Sly then goes to the top rope. He gets to a standing position for a couple of seconds before woozily sitting down on the top turnbuckle. MC He has to be getting dizzy because of the high altitude and the blood loss! COACH Don't tell me this is how it ends... Hoff shakes off his cobwebs, gets off of the table, and climbs to the top rope. He slaps Sly in the face before hooking his head and arms. Hoff stands up, leaps off, and....TOP ROPE ROCK BOTTOM! CABOOSE It's OVER! MC Hoff missed the table, but the impact of that blow might be enough! The referee goes down for the count.... 1............ 2........... 3! BUFFER Your winner, and STILL 24-7 Champion of the OAOAST....HOFF! CABOOSE THAT is how you set an example! MC We said "that" way too much during the course of this match. COACH That, we did... CABOOSE Who cares? All that matters is that Hoff is still the 24/7 Champion, despite what the Old Man Regime might want to put him through, and Sly Sommers might be dead! MC With that monkey's ass-like comment, let's go to commercial break! CABOOSE Hey... (Take a break) (Back to work) Cole And fans we're back. How about that, AngleSault starring in a new blockbuster movie out soon in theaters. Whatta Preview. Caboose Gay Cue: "Aww Naww" Caboose Borderline Gay Cole Stephen Joseph promised a hell of an announcement tonight! From the ring entrance walks out Stephen Joseph Popick, with Tha Puerto Rican in tow. Puerto's coming down with a hoodie over his head, shadowing boxing down the rampway whilst Stephen slowly, steadily, walks fixatedly head towards the ring Announcer Ladies and Gentleman, here with a special announcement that will shock the world, two-time North American Champion, Runner-up in the 2002 Royal Rumble, the man who destroyed the A.W.O. Stephen Joseph! Accompanying him is the former Puerto Rican Champion, former North American Champion, the designated Next World Champion, Tha Puerto Rican. Stephen Joseph (with mic) Thank you, thank you. I know you love me, really I do. I'm out here with two big announcements. The first? I'm the guest of honor at the Body Shop this month with Jesse Ventura! (Crowd Boos) Yeah, fuck you too. Anyways, why I'm out here concerns Tha Puerto Rican. Tha Puerto Rican is the best wrestler in this company, he's by far and away the one man we need to represent us to the world. So Puerto, I've put together this video package. Roll it Johnny. Cut: Video Feed, on AngleTron, but of backstage. Cole Abe Vigoda and Bill Watts! Stephen Joseph What the? Bill Hi Stephen. Now, me and Abe can't have you running around making promises you can't *THWACK* ::The camera turns off, the AngleTron goes to black:: (crowd murmurs) ::The shot comes back:: Cole What the...Bill Watts and Abe Vigoda have been left lying on the floor! Caboose Someone hit them with a lead pipe, It's right there. Cole This can only be Popick's work. But Puerto Rican and Joseph are in the ring? Stephen Joseph How...utterly tragic. Oh well, at least I wasn't involved with THAT. Puerto, our video homage will have to wait a week, along with the big announcement. Cool? Puerto Cool. Who knocked the suckers? Stephen Joseph Don't know. Course no one will believe that, but really, who trusts me anyways...::hastily:: Well besides you and the Lightning Crew man. Puerto Tru man Stephen Joseph So just remember people...and Zack Malibu. Till next week...heh Fuck me? Fuck you! Coach Hey guys, what'd I miss? Cole Who knocked out Abe and Bill Caboose Who...or Whom? Cole We'll be right back! Whatta Night! (Go to break)