Patty O'Green

(Return from break) Woke Up This Morning Got Yourself A Gun Mama Always Said You’d Be The Chosen One *Drek Stone walks out of the entranceway to a loud series of boos. Standing at the top of the ramp, he casually adjusts his Armani gray blazer, then saunters down to ringside. Drek walks over to the timekeeper’s table, yanks the microphone out of the announcer’s hand, and folds up the steel chair that the announcer was getting ready to sit on. He slides the chair into the ring and, after walking into the ring himself, sets the chair up in the middle. After a few seconds of staring at the fans with a cocky smirk, he sits down and begins to talk* DREK You know…..you people ought to really be ashamed of yourselves. *Once again, the fans start to boo Drek. He lifts his hand up and starts to motion for the fans to quiet down, which only makes them boo louder.* DREK I hope you know this isn’t helping matters. *The chant of “Drek Stone Sucks” slowly begins to boom from the crowd.* DREK THIS…..is the kind of garbage I’m talking about. The trash that you people chant at me. So far, since arriving here, I’ve done nothing but treat you people good. Night after night, I’ve brought such fine quality to the shows around here. My words – nothing less than inspirational. My matches – absolute works of art. And what do you do to show your appreciation? HUH?! What do you do? Roll the tape. *The AngleTron shows us a flashback to last week when, in the middle of The Mad Cappa’s interview, Drek comes out to a rowdy negative response. The scene then cuts to Drek looking at the people in the audience, as they start to loudly scream “Asshole” at him. Finally, another scene is shown where Drek punts a balloon into the crowd, and the fans start to loudly chant both “Drek Stone Sucks!” and “CAPPA! CAPPA!”* CABOOSE That was a pure and absolute travesty. Drek has a right to be angry after the reaction he got last week. SHAME on all of these people. DREK What the hell was that about? After the sacrifices I’ve made to correct the OAOAST S.S. Titanic, that’s the reaction I get? THAT’S what you think of me? You people don’t deserve me. Damnit, I should get up and leave this ring right now. *The fans start to cheer as Drek rises up out of the seat. However, he quickly sits back down.* DREK Oh…..but I won’t. That would be the coward’s way out. Why, THAT…..would be the Cappa way out. And who am I? I’m Drek Stone. I don’t take the Cappa way out. I’m not like you people…….I’m successful. And when I make a promise to do something, I actually go through with it. And you people actually know it too. Remember when I promised to dismember Damaramu at Living Anglelously? Didn’t I come through with that vow? *The fans start to quickly scream “NO! NO!”, which only makes Drek grin to himself* DREK How quickly you people forget what I’ve done for you. Gentlemen, once again….roll the clip. *This time, images of the Drek/Dama match at Living Anglelously are shown. However, the clips have been spliced together to make it look like Drek was on the advantage the entire time. He’s shown punching Dama in the face……bringing him down with a chop-block…….hitting Dama with the StoneCutter……connecting with a beautiful moonsault from the top rope……finally, the clips stop when Drek slaps the corner figure-four on Damaramu. The camera zooms in onto Dama’s face, an emotion of pain evident on his face. However, Dama’s face has been technologically altered. He now has a large quantity of blood streaming down his face, although it’s easy to tell that the image has been manipulated.* DREK There you go. Will you people look at THAT!! Is it slowly starting to come back to you now? Are you starting to remember? I physically manhandled Damaramu in the match. Tore apart his knee. Nearly broke his neck with that vicious StoneCutter. And the blood, my god, the blood that was streaming down his face. Tremendous! Look at his expression right there! Look at it! Can you people see how he’s screaming for mercy?! Do you now remember what actually happened? CABOOSE How could anyone FORGET the vicious beating he gave Dama? I’m worried for these people if their memories are that faulty. COLE Oh please, Caboose. You know as well as I do that those shots were clipped. And the blood is completely fake! CABOOSE It’s just like you to be a ripper of Drek’s accomplishments. You are such an ITALIAN-IST! COLE An Italian-ist?! There’s no such thing. COACH I’m gonna have to agree with Boose over here, Cole. You’re a rabid Italian-ist. COLE What?! DREK So, like I said, I obviously accomplished Mission #1. Now, as for the next one I set…..it’s something that can benefit us all. Yes, you people will truly begin to see the error of your ways when I wrest that Puerto Rican Championship out of the Mad Cappa’s untalented hands. *The fans start to boo once again* DREK You might boo now, but I’m sure you’ll thank me later on. And, as the natural #1 contender, I feel this is the best time to announce…. *Suddenly, the image of Dama’s “bloody” face that had been on the AngleTron starts to shake until it’s finally wiped off the screen. Replacing that image is a close-up of OAOAST Director of Authority Abe Vigoda.* COACH AHHhhh! What the hell was that?! COLE Why, that’s our ever-respectable DOA, Mr. Vigoda. CABOOSE Oh god, we really didn’t need that closeup. I think I saw a family of boils growing on one of his liverspots. ABE I am really quite shocked, Mr. Stone. Shocked, indeed. You are the LAST person I ever expected to come out here and act cocky. DREK What? Who are you to call me…. ABE And by cocky, I do mean conceited…..arrogant…..terms of that nature. I don’t actually mean cocky, as in the brown pieces of fecal matter that…. DREK ABE!!! I know!! I got that. Listen, I’m actually glad you interrupted my thrilling promo for a second. I was a little tired of shouldering this show on my well-toned back muscles. What I need you to do is write up a little contract. Right now. Pitting myself against The Mad Cappa……the OAOAST Puerto Rican Title on the line……at School’s Out! *Most of the fans start to cheer at the suggested matchup, but some of them continue to yell “Asshole!” at Drek* ABE Hmmm…..that wouldn’t be a bad idea. Not a bad idea at all…… DREK So, feel free to make the match. Making yourself useful can actually be quite fun. ABE Oh, I imagine it could. And I WOULD write the contract up…..IF you were the #1 Contender. DREK …..if I was the #1 contender?! IF?! Listen….ARRUSO…… ABEYes. If. Because there was someone else that I thought deserved a title shot considering the hell he’s gone through the past couple of weeks. But, you deserve an opportunity too. No doubt. So listen, tonight, you two can battle it out. The winner goes on to face The Mad Cappa at “School’s Out” for the OAOAST Puerto Rican Title. Sounds fair? DREK Of course not. ABE Good to hear. And, as for your opponent tonight…… *“Black” blasts over the loudspeakers. The fans EXPLODE as Hoff walks out of the entranceway with a microphone in his hand. Looking extremely determined tonight, there isn’t a hint of a smile on his face. However, before he can talk, Drek begins speaking once again* DREK Oh, man. I must be in some kind of serious trouble now. Some bad kind of trouble. This is terrible…..oh god…..The SUPERHERO is out to get me. Oh Christ, when should I start groveling for forgiveness? Dio mio, what a terrible fate is awaiting me. I’m going against a real-life superhero tonight. COACH What is Drek trying to do?! He’s basically signing his own death warrant! COLE We’ve seen what Hoff has been capable of in the past few weeks. Why does Drek want to anger him? CABOOSE You guys are so predictable. I’m SURE he knows what he’s doing……. DREK So come on. Which justice fighter are you like? Hoff, what savior of humanity do you aspire to be? Superman…..Batman……Spider-Man……Wonder Woman. Come on, HOFF. Come on…..CAPTAIN AMERICA!! COACH ……I have a bad feeling about this. DREK Listen, cacchio, I know you went out and bought those spandex tights and everything, thinking that you’re now the redeemer of the world……but you never met me. Hoff, compared to myself, people like you are a joke. You called yourself a hero last week because you want to rid the OAOAST of all the nasty, evil baddies……Hoff, if ANYBODY can be considered a hero….it’s me. Saving this federation from further sinking into the toilet bowl of mediocrity, one step at a time. I MAKE a difference. What do you do? What have you done? What makes you the new GUARDIAN of the OAOAST?! HOFF …..the fact that I’m going to finally SPINEBUSTER your ass here, tonight! *The fans once again begin to cheer, and break into a chant of “HOFF! HOFF!”* HOFF Come on, Drek. Go ahead. Laugh it up. Make fun of the fact that my new mission is to rid the federation from scumbags like yourself. Tell all the jokes you want……..but do it quickly. You really won’t have much more time. CABOOSE Oh, now he’s making threats, is he? Fire his ass! COLE Dammit, what are you talking about? Drek, dammit, tells his fair share of, dammit, threats. HOFF Last week, I made it a known fact to every single individual in the audience and in the back that I was serious about what I said. I will not rest…..I will not die…..until I get rid of the trash that litters these rings every week. And, according to Abe, tonight…..I’m going to start with the mafioso. DREK Wait….wait….WAIT……..don’t you dare! There’s no such thing as the Mafia! HOFF Oh, yeah? Interesting. Because there’s no such thing as a Drek Stone title shot either. *The fans explode again with cheers* DREK You better watch…. HOFF YOU better watch your mouth! Drek, tonight, I’m going to accomplish Stage 1. I’m going to take you out like I vowed to last week. Then, once I get the #1 Contendership…..I’m going to beat The Mad Cappa to capture the Puerto Rican Title. It’s only a matter of time. The dominoes are falling into place for the Hoff cleanup brigade. And congratulations…..you’re the first one on the list. *Hoff drops the microphone and stomps towards the back, looking as determined as he did when he came out earlier. Meanwhile, Drek can’t help but continue to stare at the ramp. Finally, he picks up the chair that had been sitting in the middle of the ring, and he hurls it over the ropes, right near the timekeeper table. He starts walking to the back with a scowl on his face* COLE And very quickly, the Puerto Rican Title is becoming one of the more sought-after titles in the OAOAST. CABOOSE Oh, this is nonsense. That title shot was already Drek’s……after that gut-wrenching performance at Living Anglelously, he DESERVED it. And what does Hoff do? He tries to steal it from him! COACH Steal it?! Hoff deserves that title shot just as much. Besides, for him, this shizzinit tonight is about more than just a title. It’s about cleaning up the filth. CABOOSE Filth?! Are you implying something?! COACH Of course not. CABOOSE You’re an Italian-ist too, Coach. This is ridiculous. I’m surrounded by a bunch of racists. COLE Ladies and gentlemen….tonight, Hoff……Drek Stone……The #1 Contendership for the Puerto Rican Title is on the line!! CABOOSE And somebody tell me this. Since when do superheroes steal title shots….? *COMMERCIAL*

Yo, bitches! If you haven't gotten anything in to Sly, you have until 7 to send me your stuff.

Don't send anything to me.

Read Zack and Crystal.

(Come back to work) COACH It's time, baby. I'm all set. CABOOSE What the hell do you have pom-poms for? COACH Gotta cheer on my girl! CABOOSE Oh lord. I've heard of persistence, but yours borders on stalking. COLE He's right though, it's time. This is a match that was made several weeks back, when Crystal, our current 24/7 Champion, asked her good friend Zack for a title shot. CABOOSE Yup, some friend. What a golddigger. COACH She is not! CABOOSE I was referring to Malibu. But then again... COACH Don't say it, mascara man! COLE Guys, can we concentrate on the match in the ring and not have one out here tonight? As cool settles the ongoing feud between his two commentary cohorts, "Set It Off" gets set off by the sound technician, and the song blares loudly, drawing fans to their feet. Amidst the smoke and glowing red lights, the current 24/7 Champion, Crystal, comes out to the stage with her belt wrapped around her waist! Pausing for a few seconds to soak in the huge response she's recieving, she heads down the aisle, slapping hands with many of the eager fans who are nearly falling over the railing trying to touch her in the slightest. COLE She's got one belt already, and she's proven time and time again that she's one of the best. Tonight, could we crown the first ever female World Champion? CABOOSE First ever? Malibu's a femme, and he's had that belt twice now. COACH Don't forget about the Maybelline Man here either, Michael. CABOOSE I hope you catch rabies. While we listen to the ever-present bickering, Crystal slides into the ring, heading over to the corner and climbing up the ropes. She unfastens her 24/7 Title and holds it up proudly, as flashbulbs go off to capture the moment. Soon after, her music fades out, and the crowd quiets, awaiting the arrival of the reigning World Champion. "Bring Me To Life" begins, and upon hearing the first piano key the fans pop loudly. The song builds to it's first chorus, which will signal the arrival of Zack Malibu. "WAKE ME UP..." Golden pyro explodes, showering the stage area, and the fans are rabid, as through the smoky fog that the pyro has made comes...nobody!? CABOOSE Ha! First he cheats, now he's afraid to take on a woman? Malibu's a freakin' fairy! The fans continue to cheer, but the song, now well into the second verse, is still playing despite no appearance from Zack Malibu nor Candie. COLE He's here, we know that. We heard from him earlier! COACH He's probably just doing what anyone would do if they had to take on Crystal. COLE & CABOOSE *silence* COACH I mean, he's probably warming up. COLE & CABOOSE *silence* COACH For God's sake, it wasn't an underhanded way of saying he's masturbating! COLE & CABOOSE Suuuuuure. Crystal walks over to the ropes, looking up the ramp in hopes of maybe seeing Zack on his way out. The music ends, and the lights come up, but still no Zack. COLE This isn't like him. He'd never duck out on a match. Crystal, the referee and the announcer all converse, each one individually wondering what's going on. The referee nods to the announcer, and the lights dim again, and "Bring Me To Life" is cued up a second time. COLE Ah, phew, OK. Technical difficulties folks. We're back on track now. The song reaches it's first chorus, and once again, BOOM! goes the pyro! The fans go wild, as through the smoke and sparkling showers of pyro comes...CALVIN SZECHSTEIN~?!!? COLE What the hell!? CABOOSE Ha ha! Now this I can live with! The cheers turn to HUGE jeers, as Calvin Szechstein walks down the aisle, a smirk on his face as he does a little spin-around to survey the fans and throw his return in their face. Crystal walks over to the referee and points at Calvin, who is making his way closer to the ring, and she doesn't seem happy with the surprise either. COLE We haven't seen him since Anglemania 3 when he dropped the World Title, and now he's picked tonight, at this very second, to come out here? CABOOSE Why not? If it wasn't for him, this company wouldn't have half the sponsors it does. COLE Since when is "Manny Moe's House Of Lube" a good sponsor, Caboose? COACH Actually... CABOOSE Shut up right now. The Evanescence tune that obviously does NOT belong to Calvin Szechstein ends, as he climbs up the stairs and into the ring. He stands on the apron, tentative of getting into the ring, as Crystal gives him the evil eye, but then ducks in through the middle and top rope, struts over to Michael Buffer, and swats the mic away from him! CABOOSE Speech! Speech! Crystal shrugs her shoulders at him, wondering what he's doing. Calvin holds out a hand and tells her to relax, then takes the mic to his lips. CALVINSo...did you miss me? Huge boos. Some fans have even taken to throwing items in the ring, but they're quickly kicked to the floor by referee Earl Hebner. CALVIN Now now, I know you people were expecting a big title match tonight, but I have some bad news. It would appear that there will NOT be a World Title match between Zack Malibu and Crystal here tonight on HeldDOWN~! More mega-boos. Crystal comes to knock Calvin's head off, but Hebner keeps her calm. CALVIN There's a very good reason, Crystal. Hopefully you can quell your "woman problems" for a few minutes so that I can explain why. The crowd "oohs" at that one, as Crystal mumbles "sonuvabitch" to Cal. CALVIN You see, it was just about one month ago that Zack Malibu did something that no one else has been able to do. He proved me wrong. On that fateful Sunday night, that one evening where we had our largest audience to date, he was the better man. However, being the better man one night out of the year does NOT make a man a champion. So, I've come back after my sabattical. After a few weeks of business deals and vacations at tropical resorts, and I figure that Zack Malibu, if he wants to call himself a champion, owes me a rematch immediately for MY World Heavyweight Title. The crowd (you guessed it) boos loudly. Crystal is still not pleased with Calvin's reasoning. CALVIN August to March. That's (counts on his hands) nearly eight months as reigning champion. That's longer than Malibu was able to do his first time around. In those eight months I went through everyone, literally! I beat Zack, I beat Jay Doring. I beat Ragdoll. I won the Elimination Chamber. I won the Royal Rumble, and I sure as hell beat your skanky ass quite a few times if memory serves me correctly, didn't I? Crystal tries to come at Calvin, but Hebner still tries his best to get her to keep cool. CALVIN Truth hurts, doesn't it, Crystal? See now, while I have your attention, I'd like to direct your eyes to the AngleTron. Yo, cameraman...I know you can hear me, so be a good buy and earn that $50 I gave you, and show Crystal why she's not getting a title shot tonight! Everyone attention focuses on the AngleTron, as a live video feed shows a forklift blocked Zack Malibu's dressing room door! Various personnel are trying to push and/or lift the heavy machinery, but cannot. You can even hear Zack pounding on the door to get out of the room. CALVIN So, Crystal, it would seem that Zack can't make his contractually scheduled appearance tonight, and that's good, because it seems we have an issue to take up. You see, you threw out a challenge to him, and that's fine. You took some initiative, and you can't be blamed for that. However, as the ex-champion, I'm the one who deserves the rematch. I know Sly was supposed to soften Zack up for me, but he obviously can't get crap done these days. Good help is so hard to find. So I'm here, back in the mix, and ready to take back what's mine, and I'll be damned if I'd let you get lucky, beat Zack, and ruin my chance at revenge. Why don't you just stick to that 24/7 belt, because I think it's appropriate for you. After all, you're on your back 24/7 as it is... *SMACK* Before he can even finish, Crystal shoves Hebner away and NAILS Calvin with an open hand across his face, knocking the microphone away. Calvin takes the high road, rolling out of the ring, but keeping the mic with him. CALVIN You...you stupid, stupid bitch. I've got news for you. Even ten men can't move that forklift, not without *these*. (Calvin reaches into his pocket, and pulls out a set of keys). So Zack and Crystal is off for this evening. So let's make a deal, Chrissy. If you want me so bad...and honestly, what woman wouldn't...then here's what we'll do. Me and you. Right now. Not for your belt, but for a shot at MY belt. The one that I deserve back. The one that I will GET BACK. Me and you, for a shot at the World Title, RIGHT NOW! The fans pop loudly, as Crystal ponders this challenge. CALVIN Come on, Chrissy, I ain't got all... *CRACK* Calvin gets knocked on his ass by Crystal, who immediately hits a baseball slide and wipes him out! The mic goes flying along with Cal, and Crystal pulls him up to his feet, then sends him into the apron, Calvin smacking it hard with his back! Earl Hebner quickly motions for Buffer to ring the bell, and it appears we've got an impromptu main event! COLE This is an interesting twist! CABOOSE That's what Malibu gets for taking so long to do his hair! Calvin reels against the apron, but Crystal, furious at Calvin stealing her title shot, takes him by the hair and turns him around, then slams him face first into the apron! Calvin tries to walk away, but Crystal stays with him, taking him and tossing him back in under the bottom rope. She jumps up on the apron, but doesn't enter the ring, instead choosing to wait. Calvin shakily gets to his feet, and as he turns towards her, Crystal springs up to the top rope, launching herself through the air and landing on top of Calvin's shoulders, then snapping him over with a springboard huracanrana! COACH Take it to him, girlfriend! CABOOSE She's not your girlfriend! Calvin rolls over, and backs himself into a corner, begging off the raging Female Phenom. Crystal comes towards him, and Calvin desperately crawls forward and hits...a low blow! Crystal looks down at Calvin, who realizes his mistake and does a comical double take. Crystal reaches down and pulls him up, shoving him backwards into the corner and unleashing a continuous, rapidfire assault of kicks to the ribs before taking Calvin's arm and sending him into the opposite corner. Calvin reverses momentum, however, sending Crystal in, but she grabs the ropes and leaps up and over...only to have Calvin stop short. She lands on the mat, but he's standing behind her, and surprises her with a quick German Suplex, leading to the first pin attempt of the match...and it only gets one and a half, as Crystal quickly rolls over and gets a shoulder up! CABOOSE Come on, that was obviously three! COLE Are you just insanely biased, or blind? Crystal gets to her feet just as Calvin does. He turns around before she can stand straight up and takes her by the head, locking her in a facelock before taking her over with a vertical...NO! Crystal slips out of the suplex, and wraps her arms around Calvin's waist, running him towards the ropes! She tries a rollup, but Calvin clutches the top rope and instead Crystal goes rolling backwards on her own! She pops up to her feet and charges again, but this time Calvin ducks, and Crystal takes a back bodydrop over the top rope, and crashes down on the floor right in front of Sofa Central! COACH I'll be right back. She needs me! COLE Coach, stay put, will you! Calvin, wiping his lips, pulls himself up to his feet, and then slowly exits the ring, coming out onto the apron and then hopping down on the floor. He surveys the damage, then reaches down and gently pulls Crystal up to her feet before VIOLENTLY flinging her into the guardrail! Crystal's back smashes into the steel and causes her to yelp in pain before she slumps down to the floor. CABOOSE It's about time Crystal knew her place. I never liked her from the start. Glorified ringrat. COACH That's it! We're gonna turn this into a tag match! CABOOSE Are you kidding? The only match you belong in is an evening gown match because you're a closet case. Calvin calmly walks over to Crystal, looking down and saying "It didn't have to be like this" before pulling her back up and dragging her around by the hair, then throwing her back into the ring. Calvin stays on the floor, however, as he walks over to Michael Buffer, pulls him up by the lapels on his suit, and tosses him into the guardrail before swiping his chair! COLE C'mon, if you're gonna fight, at least do it fairly! Calvin slides the chair in, then follows it. Hebner comes over and tries to take the chair away, but Calvin swipes it back from the veteran referee before swinging it over his head and bringing it down on top of Earl's! Hebner goes down in a heap, blood dripping from his forehead, as Calvin now turns his attention to Crystal! COLE This wasn't about a match! This was about Calvin Szechstein setting Crystal up, just to take her out! Crystal starts to push herself up, but as she's on all fours, Calvin brings the chair down HARD across her back, knocking her back to the canvas! COACH This ain't going down like this. Coach to the rescue, baybee! We hear the headset thrown down, and the fans pop HUGE, as Coach comes running from Sofa Central and slides into the ring. Calvin, noticing this out of the corner of his eye, turns around and WALLOPS Coach right in the head as he makes a move towards Calvin, knocking him out with one shot. CABOOSE Who's buying the tombstone? You? COLEI don't like him THAT much. Calvin rolls Coach out of the ring, then scoops up the chair once again. Crystal again comes up, pushing herself to all fours, then WHAM! Another chairshot. Howver, Crystal's body shakes, absorbing the impact...but she again pushes herself up! CABOOSE Just stay down, you stupid broad! The fans pop, as Crystal tries to rise to her feet..., but Calvin brings the chair up over his head again. Suddenly, a THUNDEROUS pop emerges from the fans in the arena... COLE WATCH OUT CALVIN SZECHSTEIN~! Calvin turns to see what the commotion is about, and sees ZACK MALIBU~! charging the ring! Calvin immediately backs out of the ring, dropping the chair in the process, and retreating to the floor! CABOOSE Damn it, he ruined the moment! Zack eyes Calvin, sneering at his rival for what he's done tonight. Calvin paces ringside, with Zack following his every step from within the ring, as Crystal recovers from the chair attack! COLE Calvin has nowhere to go! Crystal and Zack are going to rip him apart! Zack looks over his shoulder, and sees Crystal, broken but not beaten, getting to her feet. Seeing that his friend, and supposed opponent for tonight trying to get up, Malibu backs off from stalking Calvin and goes to assist her, helping her up to her feet and making sure she's OK. Crystal nods, and as she goes to walk away from Zack to get at Calvin, he pulls her back, kicks her in the ribs, and DRILLS her onto the canvas with a POP DROP~! COLE WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!? CABOOSE I think I just creamed myself, Cole. Zack sits up next to Crystal, looking over at her unconscious body and begins to snicker to himself. He stands up, and the boos are deafening, as everyone, from the fans to the announcers to Calvin Szechstein, have no idea what to make of this. COLE What...but why did... CABOOSE I don't know and I don't care. All I know is I love it, Cole! Malibu stands up and bends over, standing over Crystal and slapping her across the back of her head, taunting her. Suddenly, Calvin Szechstein slides into the ring, grabbing the steel chair and taunting Malibu with it! Zack begs off, backing into the corner, telling Cal to just drop it. Calvin, standing tall, throws the chair down, and then starts snickering himself. Malibu stands up from his cowering position, comes out of the corner, and HIGH FIVES CALVIN SZECHSTEIN. COLE I do not believe what I'm seeing in this ring right now. CABOOSE YES! Look at this Cole! Cherish this moment! Two superpowers uniting! Zack tells Calvin to set the chair up, which he does, and then sets Crystal in it. Zack retreats to the floor, scooping up his World Title belt that he threw down as he was apparently making the save for Crystal. Crystal sits in a daze, her eyes 3/4 of the way closed, and if it weren't for Cal holding her in place, she'd fall out of the chair. COLE What are they doing to this poor girl? Malibu comes over to her with the title, and starts taunting her with it, calling her every name in the book, and a few new ones. Malibu asks "if she understands", and Calvin shakes her head as if she's saying "no", so Malibu backs up, then jumps forward, drilling Crystal in the forehead with a beltshot! COLE My God stop it! Just stop it Zack! CABOOSE You sound like a jilted lover. Crystal lay down on the mat, the victim of this heinous assault. Malibu picks the World Title up, but Calvin takes it from him, then straps it around Malibu's waist himself! "Bring Me To Life" begins to play, as the fans boo heavily, garbage being thrown into the ring as Malibu and Calvin each strike their individual trademark poses! COLE Fans, I don't...I mean, NONE of us know what to make of this. This has got to be the most vile, shocking, disgusting incident I've ever been a witness too. Zack Malibu...I...you know what, fuck this... CABOOSE Hey! We're on the air! Michael Cole gets up from Sofa Central, and throws his headset down, storming off. Caboose is quiet as well, as the final scene of the evening is Zack Malibu, the OAOAST Title draped around his waist, standing above the body of the Female Phenom, an evil smirk stretching from cheek to cheek, as we fade to black.

OAOAST HeldDOWN~! “Trust me” by Lucy Woodward plays as we SEE THE LOGO~ (We go the arena, where red, white and yellow pyro is exploding and the fans are doing the same! They aren’t literally exploding because the arena doesn’t have the janitorial staff to mop all those guts up.) COLE Welcome to the sold out Baltimore arena in Baltimore, Maryland! I’m Michael Cole, flanked by Jonathan Coachman and Caboose! Fans, we have an awesome show planned for you tonight! CABOOSE You say that every week. COLE And every week I’m exposed as a filthy liar. But this time I’m really serious! Zack Malibu will be taking on Coach’s wet dream, Crystal! The long forgotten tag team titles will be put on the line in an eight team tournament. Bracket one features the Global Party Exchange facing off against Sly Sommers and Colvid. One of those teams will meet the winner of Chicks Over Dicks Vs The Cult of Damaramu. In bracket two Vitamin X and Spanish Fly take on AJ Flaire and Gunner! The winner of that match will meet the winner of Rave and Assault Squad versus a mystery team! COACH This is gonna be like Frosted Flakes, grrrrreeaaat! Forget the Stanley Cup and NBA playoffs, the only tournament that really matters is taking place on HeldDOWN! But before the action starts lets go backstage to J.Math! We’re backstage, as resident OAOAST runt Josh Matthews has persuaded someone to stop for an interview. MATTHEWS So, can I ask how you feel after Living Angleously? The camera pans to the right. A man in a dark, sharp business suit removes his shades and glares at Josh. DAN BLACK Oh, Josh, Josh…you really are the giddy adolescent that you resemble, aren’t you. Listen up. AJ Flaire beat Dan Black. He. Beat. Me. How did he do it? Well, he’s a hell of an athlete. A fine young kid. I’ll give him credit, he did it. But my mind wasn’t on the game. My heart wasn’t in the ring. The Adrenaline Title? Pah. Tainted. Tainted by the men who held it. SpiderPoet. Stephen Joseph. Two men who represent everything that’s wrong with this industry today. I couldn’t stand their stench on the belt a moment longer. MATTHEWS So you’re….glad? BLACK I don’t care, Jemima. That belt wasn’t worthy of me. The X title, hell, that isn’t either. You see, I’ve come to realise something. For too long, I’ve been trying to do everything on my own. And why? Everyone else has their cronies, their back up. So I’ll give you a little exclusive, Josephine. Tonight, I will be one half of the final, mystery team in the tag title tournament. MATTHEWS Wow! And who will be your partner? BLACK “Who will be your partner”…Sir. MATTHEWS Yes Sir! Who will it be Sir? BLACK Why, the only man worthy of the honor, Jill. The only man worthy. Dan smiles at camera, and turns- right into the fat face of JIVIN’ JIM ROSS~! Ross is carrying a bucket of chicken wings smothered in barbecue sauce. Jim bumps into Dan, and the chicken and sauce is knocked all down the front of Dan’s suit. Black grabs Ross by the shirt and SLAMS him up against the wall. BLACK You IDIOT! Do you have any idea what this cost? Do you? You fat, Texan idiot. Look at me! I’m a mess! JR Hey- hey- I’m sorry DB, it was an accident! I was just looking for you to talk about the tag tournament- BLACK Oh, we’re way beyond talking, Ross! I should never have hired you in the first place! You’ve made me look a fool for the last time! You’re FIRED! Dan shoves JR away and storms off. Josh looks at JR. JR looks at Josh. They both look at the chicken on the floor. MATTHEWS Are you going to….eat that? An evil glint comes over JR’s face. JR I sure am! Get down there and pick it up for me! MATTHEWS But- JR I can have you fired, you little bitch! Do it! MATTHEWS Yessir! Josh starts picking up the chicken as the camera takes in a thoughtful look on JR’s face… (Go to the arena) COLE It’s time for the next tag title tournament match- let’s hope Dan Black got that sauce off his suit and got ready for this bout! COACH And who will his tag team partner be? BUFFER The following contest is a first round match in the OAOAST Tag Team Titles Tournament! Cue: TECHNO TECHNO TECHNO TECHNO! The lights drop as super swirling laser lights flash throughout the arena, greeting the arrival of the Rave and Assault Squad as they spring out, bouncing in time to the beat. BUFFER At a total combined weight of 408 pounds, the team of Nate and Mikey, the RAVE AND ASSAULT SQUAD! The two youngsters, with SB87 just behind, sprint down into the ring and climb the turnbuckles, waving glowsticks frantically. The music stops with a shudder. Cue: “Quiet” The lights go up as dark smoke pours in gushing floods from the entranceway. A storm of white pyro sparks erupts with the cloud, until we get a final, large pyro BLAST and the man in black walks through. BUFFER From London, weighting 243lbs- the Ice Heart, Daaaaaaaaaan BLACK! Dan walks down to the ring in his usual trench coat and shades, and wastes no time climbing into the ring. He looks at both members of the RAS and shakes his head, a mixture of disgust and contempt on his face. COACH Dan doesn’t look impressed with these ravers. COLE Dan’s an old man compared to these guys! He isn’t hip like them! Nate walks over to Dan as his music stops and looks him up and down. Mikey follows him over. Dan doesn’t look concerned. COACH They look like they’re ready to jump Black here. He better get his partner out. CABOOSE I don’t think Dan is scared by these punks. COACH Yeah, but who's his partner? CABOOSE Maybe he brought back the fish. Dead silence from Cole & Coach. They don't know what to make out of Caboose's remark. CABOOSE You know, I like it when you guys are quiet. Then again, I do love the sound of my voice anyway. Dan Black points at RAS. He motions to the back. CUE: "Simply Ravishing" The crowd erupts in a mixture of cheers and boos. COLE What?! CABOOSE This guy comes out of retirement more than a hooker, but I like him. COACH And hookers? CABOOSE Yeah, your mom makes fantastic company. Cole laughs. CABOOSE Your wife is quite kinky herself, Cole. May I suggest reading Kama Sutra? The living legend that is Tony the Body walks down to the ring, resplendent in his shimmering robe. Dan stands by the ropes and applauds T.Bod as he enters the ring. COLE Dan and T.Bod? How will we fit both their egos in the same ring? CABOOSE Ladies and Gentleman, THIS is the worlds greatest tag team. These kids don’t stand a chance. COACH Well, the experience, weight and aggressive edge would appear to all favour Black and T.Bod. Dan really got himself a great partner here. CABOOSE Well that’s what he said! He had the only man worthy! COLE But they shouldn’t write off RAS, these kids are phenomenal athletes. DING DING DING Dan and Tony confer in a corner, nodding and laughing as they look at Nate and Mikey, who bounce on the spot, glaring at their older, larger opponents. Dan shrugs and exits the ring, laughing. COACH Looks like T.Bod to start things off for….Black T? COLE Why not! And Nate’s squaring off against him. T.Bod and Nate face each other, with Tony beckoning Nate on, offering him the side of his face for a slap. CABOOSE Ha, Tony’s DARING Nate to hit him! He hasn’t got the guts! Nate explodes with a spinkick to the jaw of T.Bod! Stunned, TB is whipped to the ropes and given a drop toe hold that slams him onto his face! Before Tony can rise, Nate runs to the ropes and executes a running leg drop to the back of T.Bod’s head! Nate rolls Tony over! ONE! TB powers Nate off of him, and as both rise nearly DECAPITATES Nate with a lariat. Tony holds the back of his head and winces, before scooping Nate off the mat. TB locks on a front face lock and lifts Nate up for a vertical suplex, but the youngster slips out of Tony’s grasp and lands behind him. T.Bod turns, but Nate scoots through his legs and is behind him once more! Nate unleashes a barrage of kicks to the legs of Tony, forcing him down to one knee, and he runs to the ropes to fly at T.Bod once more- -but as he runs at TB, his face meets the boot of Dan Black, who has calmly stepped into the ring and hit Nate with a stiff kick. As our referee gestures for Dan to leave, T.Bod scoops up Nate and drapes him over his right hand shoulder, face down. Tony grips Nate and snaps him forward into a sitout Michinoku Driver! The crowd draws in its collective breath at the impact, as Tony covers: ONE! TWO! Mikey vaults in and stomps on T.Bod to break the count. TB makes to strike Mikey, but he ducks the swing and drop kicks TB low! Tony gasps in pain and doubles up, as Dan re-enters, grabbing the laughing Mikey from behind and giving him a release German suplex that folds the raver in half. Dan and Tony pick Nate off the mat and whip him to the ropes, but he ducks under their double swing and rebounds off the ropes behind. D & T turn, and Nate launches himself at them with a flying body press! T here’s not even close to enough weight behind him however, and Black T catch him with ease, Dan holding his upperbody, Tony his legs. They look at each other, and both drop back, flinging Nate over with a double team fall away slam that sends him flying into the ropes! Dan turns to Mikey, who’s rising slowly, and throws him out of the ring under the top rope. Dan follows him out, as T.Bod drags Nate out of the ropes and covers. ONE! TWO! THREE! NO! KICKOUT! COLE These kids are tough! With all the drugs they do, they probably can’t even feel pain right now! COACH But remember kids, drugs are BAD! TB pulls Nate up and whips him to the ropes, but Nate grabs the top cable and stops himself. TB runs in from behind, but Nate bounces up and Tony runs underneath him, with Nate rolling down T.Bod’s back and pulling him into a pinning position! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! On the floor, Dan throws Mikey into the ringsteps- but he jumps over them at the last minute! Dan runs at the raver, but Mikey turns and uses the steps to deliver a step up enziguiri to the back of Black’s head! Dan falls forward and hits his head on the steps! Mikey scoots back into the ring and he and Nate start to pound on Tony with forearms. T.Bod attempts to fight them off, but they keep stinging him. A whip to the ropes, and stereo dropkicks floor the Ravishing One. Mikey runs to the ropes and delivers a running SSP to the chest of Tony! Nate vaults to the top rope and launches off with a twisting corkscrew body press! T.Bod absorbs both impacts heavily, and Nate covers- ONE! TWO! TWO AND A HALF! THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! COACH WHAT AN UPSET! NOOOOOOOOOOOO! KICKOUT! COLE Ha, you’re an idiot. Nate brings Tony up, but T.Bod regains the advantage with a headbutt, and, grabbing the stunned raver around the waist, spins around and CRUSHES him to the mat with a belly to belly suplex. T.Bod wipes the sweat off his brow and grabs Nate’s hand, dragging him over to the RAS corner and daring Mikey to tag in. Mikey obliges, slapping Nate’s hand and jumping in. Tony responds with a sneer and a tag to Dan Black. Dan and Mikey circle, before locking up. Black quickly overpowers his smaller opponent, twisting him into an armbar, but Mikey executes a neat forward flip to escape. Dan swings, misses, and eats a jawbreaker. Mikey runs the ropes and catches Dan coming up with a rana! Black rises, dizzy, and Mikey locks on a full nelson! COACH ROOM SPINNER! Dan’s in big trouble! But Black immediately breaks the nelson, twisting behind Mikey and applying his own, before lifting his opponent up and over with a release Dragon suplex that drops the raver on his head! Dan pounces on Mikey and locks in the Heart of Ice crossface! Black tears back on the hold and Mikey TAPS----- NO! Nate dives across the ring and catches Mikey’s hand, stopping him from completing the tap out! The referee looks confused, but lets the match continue! Nate kicks Dan in the back till he breaks the hold, but Nate’s entrance brings T.Bod back into the ring. TB grabs Nate off the mat and gives him a stiff powerbomb, before throwing him out of the ring. Dan brings Mikey up, and sets him up for a Uranagi, as Tony stands in front of the raver. Black lifts Mikey up and hits him with the Rock Bottom as Tony delivers a simultaneous OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE! COLE OH MY GOD! MIKEY JUST TOOK TWO MOVES IN ONE! CABOOSE I’m calling that one the Black Body Bag- the 3B! Dan covers the crushed Mikey. ONE! TWO! THREE! DING DING DING BUFFER The winners of the match and advancing to the semi finals- BLACK T! CABOOSE Hey, the kids fought hard, but these guys are just too good for the likes of them. COLE Tony and Dan progress, and they have to be considered as major contenders to be wearing those titles at the end of tonight! We’ll be back! (Go to break) (Return from break) (The cameraman catches up to Rick Edwards in yet another bar. Rick is sitting on a bar stool, peeling off the label of a beer bottle while an old man babbles on next to him.) OLD MAN Why won’t you answer my question?? Aren’t you that guy from the OAOAST? That Rick fella? The one that used to be The Blurricane?? RICK … OLD MAN It is you! Man what happened to you? You used to be a good man, but now you come out there and whine about everything! RICK (Peeling a little bit harder at the bottle label) … OLD MAN You used to be a funny person. My son and I loved watching you and your crazy antics! RICK (Stops peeling at the label and glances over with an evil stare) I wish you would just shut up already! OLD MAN Geez! No need to get testy! I was trying to pay you a compliment. RICKA compliment? A COMPLIMENT!? I broke my damn leg for you people and all you can say is that I was a funny person?? My family’s dirty laundry was shown to everyone and all you can say is that I’m a funny person!? OLD MAN (Looking scared) I’m sorry if I offended you. RICK Offended me? (Laughs) No you didn’t offend me…you pissed me off! (With a quick motion Rick smashes the beer bottle across the old man’s face, sending the old man to the ground. The rest of the bar goes silent except for a woman who screams at the blood trickling down from the man’s forehead.) RICK YOU DON’T KNOW ME!!! (Rick grabs the man and drags him to a pool table where he grabs a pool cue and chokes him with it. The old man looks terrified as Rick yells at him.) RICK YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE!!! I BUSTED MY ASS FOR THEM AND IN THE PROCESS MY LIFE WAS RUINED!! MY FATHER HATES ME AND TRIED TO KILL ME!! IF IT WEREN’T FOR J. ARTHUR I’D HAVE NOTHING!! NOW PEOPLE LIKE YOU THINK IT’S ALL A JOKE!! (J. Arthur comes running in and pulls Rick off the old man. Rick slips and falls to the ground as the old man gets up and runs out the door. While on the ground, Rick buries his face in his hands and breaks down.) RICK What have I done? J. ARTHUR Rick, what the hell are you…(turns around and notices Rick is upset.) RICK (Now leaning his back against the bar with his hands resting on his knees.) I can never go back to that. I promise you right now that I will never let Blurricane see the light of day again, because I don’t want to be reminded of that time in my life. J. ARTHUR We don’t have to Rick. We have a new start now. RICK I’m through helping people. If they don’t give a crap about me then I don’t give a crap about them. You’re my only friend now. J. ARTHUR Let’s get back to the arena. (J. Arthur helps Rick up and they leave the bar.) (Go to break) (Return from break) ::A deep, slow voiced man saids "LIGHTNING CREW". The AngleTron lights up with an image of Tha Puerto Rican on it. The crowd boos the moment his face is shown. The image of a smiling P.R. changes to another image of P.R. raising the Puerto Rican Championship belt after a match. The crowd continues booing waiting for Tha Puerto Rican to show up. As the AngleTron shows image after image of P.R., music is being played in the background. The music is slow and mellow sounding like the opening to a classical song. A man whispers the words "Chance" throughout the opening. On the AngleTron, the image changes to an image of Tha Puerto Rican choked up. Follow by P.R. being very very angry. Follow by Tha Puerto Rican crying. Finally, the last image is of Tha Puerto Rican smiling in a psychotic matter. The music swells, the crescendo hits, the AngleTron switches to a waving Puerto Rico flag with, in big white blocky letters, LIGHTNING CREW appearing in front of it. A lightning bolt hits the entrance. Fog fills up the entrance as "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Boyds begins playing. The Lightning Crew entrance video plays on the AngleTron as the crowd boos waiting for P.R. to arrive.:: COLE: And now, we are about to be paid a visit by the FORMER Puerto Rican Champion and the man who was defeated last Sunday at The Year of Living Anglelously by The Mad Cappa, in the last one-on-one meeting those two will have. CABOOSE: It was an obstruction of justice thanks to the OaOasT D.O.A. Abe Vigoda! Taking Colombian Heat out of the match as the Special Guest Referee! COACH: Actually, isn’t it Heat’s fault for not knowing how to spell Vigoda? He actually screwed himself by misspelling it Vickgoda! CABOOSE: Well—shut up! ::The crowd chants "P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!" until finally, Tha Puerto Rican steps through the fog and smoke and the flickering lights, with a frown on his face and the faces of The Lightning Crew. The crowd boos P.R. loudly, chanting "P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!" but P.R. does not listen. He looks at his Lightning Crew, who are all sad, especially Colombian Heat, who is behind P.R. and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez. Mr. Boricua is crying. P.R. then orders them to walk with him to the ring.:: COLE: It was a bad night for The Lightning Crew overall last Sunday at Living Anglelously. Cuban Wall lost a Chain-On-A-Pole Match to Ryan Smith with Smith using Wall’s own chain to win the match. Tha Puerto Rican lost his chance to regain the OaOasT Puerto Rican Championship to The Mad Cappa no thanks in part to Mr. Vigoda. And speaking of Mr. Vigoda, Colombian Heat was taken out of the match due to his biased towards Tha Puerto Rican, and was knocked out with one punch by Abe Vigoda. Hard to believe it, but an 86-year-old man knocked out a 21-year-old boy with one punch. CABOOSE: A truly embarrassing moment for Colombian Heat, The Lightning Crew, and Tha Puerto Rican. But it’s okay, because The LC have a chance to redeem themselves to Tha Puerto Rican later tonight, since Vitamin X and Spanish Fly will be apart of the One Night Tournament to crown new OaOasT World Tag Team Champions, when they take on A.J. Flaire and Gunner Sharps. So, there will be gold in The Lightning Crew by the end of the night once again! COLE: Colombian Heat also hit P.R. with his Puerto Rican Championship belt at LA. We have been told that The Mad Cappa, who was in possession of both his and P.R.’s title belts last Sunday, has destroyed P.R.’s Puerto Rican Championship belt for good. CABOOSE: HE WHAT?! COACH: He ripped apart the Puerto Rican Championship belt that Tha Puerto Rican has carried for the past year and a half. CABOOSE: NO! WHY WOULD HE DO THAT FOR! THAT BELT HAS BEEN AROUND FOR YEARS! THAT BELT WAS NOT HIS! WHY DIDN’T HE GIVE THE BELT BACK TO P.R.?! DAMNIT! THAT’S NOT FAIR! COLE: Well, The Mad Cappa has moved on from his feud with Tha Puerto Rican. He has won the final match those two had. One More Time, The Mad Cappa came out on top. And we will infact be hearing and seeing The Mad Cappa on HeldDOWN~! tonight and for many more HeldDOWNs~! to come. But now, we are seeing and hearing from the loser of the No Holds Barred Match for the OaOasT Puerto Rican Championship, Tha Puerto Rican. CABOOSE: Oh. The words "P.R." and "loser" do not go together well. COACH: But, P.R. has been the loser for two straight pay-per-views. Both times to The Mad Cappa! P.R. has not had the best of luck, and you can all trace it back to Colombian Heat! COLE: Heat has caused P.R. a number of problems starting at AngleMania III, and concluding with the beltshot last Sunday. I wonder if P.R. is going to address any of these problems tonight ::The crowd continues booing him, some even throwing garbage in his direction. Tha Puerto Rican jaws with some fans at ringside and flips them off. He does slap some fans’ hands, and then steps onto the ring apron and sneers at the crowd. He enters the ring, and then tells the ringside crew that he will not be doing the HBK-pose tonight. He grabs a microphone as The Lightning Crew all stand in the ring depressed. P.R. stands in the ring as the lights go back in the arena. “No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Boyds stops playing. The crowd boos loudly chanting “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” P.R. looks at the crowd with a sad look on his face.:: CABOOSE: Look at him, guys. He looks like a sad puppy. Awww. Poor guy. COLE: I’m having a hard time feeling pity to Tha Puerto Rican. After all, he is the same guy that crushed Mad Cappa’s larynx and threw him 40 feet into off a bridge. CABOOSE: Always living in the past, that’s what you guys are doing. Always living in the past. “P.R. did this. P.R. did that. P.R. killed a puppy. P.R. assassinated the president. P.R. caused global warming.” You guys make it seem like P.R. is Satan himself disguised as a wrestler! I mean come on! ::Some fans chant “P.R.! P.R.! P.R.! P.R.!” but those chants are drowned out by “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” P.R. looks around depressed, teary-eyed, but he begins to speak.:: THA PUERTO RICAN: I guess you all saw what happened last Sunday at The Year of Living Anglelously? ::CROWD POPS:: P.R.: Yeah, and I’m sure all of you saw me lose to The Mad Cappa last Sunday at The Year of Living Anglelously once again. ::CROWD POPS:: COACH: P.R. is certainly taking this well, isn’t he? CABOOSE: He has to, he has to move on. P.R.: But I guess, I have to give credit, where credit is due. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. The Mad Cappa wasn’t as bad as I thought he was. We fought to see who the man was, because as Ric Flair saids “To be the man, you got to beat the man.” And on that night, Sunday April 25, 2004, The Mad Cappa was THE MAN. ::The crowd pops loudly for that comment.:: COLE: Finally, P.R. accepts the truth. COACH: Like P.R. always saids, “And that’s the truth, Ruth!” WOOOOOO!!! P.R.: But Cappa, don’t think this is my way of giving you the olive branch. Don’t think we are now friends. UH-UH! Because, Mad CRAPPA, make no mistake: I STILL HATE YOU!!! I WILL ALWAYS HATE YOU!!! YOU ARE A DISGRACE!!! I WILL ALWAYS HATE YOUR GUTS BECAUSE YOU ARE THE BIGGEST PIECE OF TRAILER PARK TRASH ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH!!! AND I WILL HATE YOU UNTILL THE DAY I DIE!!! I WILL ALWAYS BE THE BETTER MAN!!! IN YOUR HEART YOU KNOW THAT IS THE TRUTH!!! COLE: I guess not. CABOOSE: Duh! Did you think P.R. would forget that The Mad Cappa beat him? He hates Cappa, and that will never change. EVER! NEVER EVER! ::The crowd chants “MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA! MAD CAP-PA!” P.R. sneers at the crowd.:: P.R.: BUT MAD CRAPPA, You can take the Puerto Rican Championship….and shove it up your ass! To HELL with the Puerto Rican Championship! I don’t need it anymore! Screw that belt; I got bigger fish to fry! Namely, the OaOasT World Heavyweight Championship! I will no longer be concentrating on winning back the Puerto Rican Championship. I will always ALWAYS ALWAYS AWLAYS hate The Mad Cappa, but I will now concentrate on becoming the OaOasT World Heavyweight Champion!!! ::The crowd boos. They begin chanting “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” P.R. sneers at the crowd.:: P.R.: But for tonight, I need to turn my attention to someone else. Someone close to me. Someone…in this ring right now. ::This causes The Lightning Crew to become shock.:: And that someone…is a 173 lb piece of crap known as COLOMBIAN HEAT! ::The crowd is shocked. Colombian Heat tries to comprehend what he heard, as The Lightning Crew shove Heat towards P.R. Tha Puerto Rican puts his right arm over Colombian Heat’s shoulders, and smiles a sly smile. Heat is nervous.:: COLE: That was an interesting comment coming from Tha Puerto Rican. COACH: I don’t understand it. Colombian Heat is Tha Puerto Rican’s best friend. Why would he call him a piece of crap? What was the point of that? THA PUERTO RICAN: Now, Heat, I know that you didn’t mean to hit me in the face with the Puerto Rican Championship belt last night. BUT, you could have learned how to spell VIGODA before you decided you were smart enough to make your own stipulations. I told you to let me handle The Lightning Crew’s affairs, but NO! You and Vitamin X had to make all those stipulations without my consent. Remember what I told you? I AM THE PUPPETMASTER! I AM THE LEADER! I AM THE LEADER OF THE LIGHTNING CREW! AND YOU ARE JUST THE SECOND-IN-COMMAND! I AM IN CONTROL! YOU ARE THE LACKEY! YOU CROSSED THE LINE ON SUNDAY, HEAT! YOU SCREWED UP, BIG TIME! AND BECAUSE OF YOU, I LOST TO THE MAD CAPPA ONCE AGAIN AND I LOST MY CHANCE TO BECOME PUERTO RICAN CHAMPION AGAIN! I had Mad Cappa right where I wanted, but you screwed it up for me! YOU LET ME DOWN AND I DO NOT LIKE BEING LET DOWN!!! COLOMBIAN HEAT: Hey, P.R., you’re not gonna kick my ass are you? THA PUERTO RICAN: What? Oh no, no, no, no. Heat. I am not going to kick your ass. Not at all. ::The crowd is buzzing in anticipation. Colombian Heat breathes a sigh of relief. Tha Puerto Rican walks away, but then stops, and speaks on the microphone again.:: THA PUERTO RICAN: Cuban Wall, KICK HIS ASS!!! ::With that, Cuban Wall clotheslines Colombian Heat from behind. The crowd is in shock, but then starts booing. The Lightning Crew hover over Colombian Heat, who is lying on the mat, and start a beatdown.:: COLE: WHOAH! WHAT DID P.R. JUST DO? COACH: COLOMBIAN HEAT WAS CLOTHESLINED FROM BEHIND BY CUBAN WALL DUE TO ORDERS BY THA PUERTO RICAN! THA PUERTO RICAN JUST ATTACKED HIS BEST FRIEND?!!! COLE: THAT BASTARD! HE TURNED HIS BACK ON HIS BEST FRIEND! I GUESS NO ONE IS SAFE FROM THE WRATH OF THA PUERTO RICAN! NOT EVEN HIS OWN BEST FRIEND! WHAT DID WE JUST SEE?!!! CABOOSE: I’ll tell you what we just saw. We saw the end of a friendship! P.R. just threw Colombian Heat to the curb for failing him and The Lightning Crew. Heat made The Lightning Crew look bad! ::The Lightning Crew continues their beatdown on Colombian Heat. Heat is in massive amount of pain, holding his stomach, crawling to get up. Tha Puerto Rican gets some shots in on Heat, punching his face several times. The crowd chants “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” as Tha Puerto Rican heads out of the ring.:: COLE: Colombian Heat has been absolutely decimated by his own stablemates! CABOOSE: They are no longer his stablemates Cole. They are now his enemies. Colombian Heat pissed off Tha Puerto Rican one too many times and now he is paying the price right here, right now. If you piss off P.R. too many times, he WILL turn on you regardless of whether you are his friend or his family member. And Colombian Heat is a prime example of this right now! COACH: I honestly can’t believe it! P.R. and Heat were like brothers! They did everything together! They were close friends for years! And now it’s all over just because Colombian Heat misspelled Abe Vigoda? CABOOSE: Oh it’s not just that. That was just the last straw, the icing on the cake. Colombian Heat pissed off P.R. more than once. Losing the last match of The Lightning Crew Gauntlet to The Mad Cappa. Hitting him with the chair causing him to lose the OaOasT Puerto Rican Championship at AngleMania III. The beltshot to the face at The Year of Living Anglelously. Colombian Heat has been the thorn on P.R.’s side for 2 months now! P.R. is exploding right here in front of us. He has had enough of Heat’s screw-ups and is now kicking him out of The Lightning Crew! COLE: P.R. and Heat were closer than most brothers! I don’t believe it! CABOOSE: You don’t make P.R. angry. You won’t like him when he’s angry. ::Tha Puerto Rican looks underneath the ring and finds a toolbox. He opens the toolbox and find a spray-paint can inside. The crowd boos even louder and heads into the ring. P.R. sneers at Colombian Heat and grabs his Lightning Crew tanktop. He rips it off and then rips off Colombian Heat’s orange Lightning Crew t-shirt causing the crowd to boo. P.R. yells out “YOU DON’T DESERVE TO WEAR THIS!” Tha Puerto Rican kicks Colombian Heat in his stomach, causing Heat to turn around.:: COLE: Oh no. I think I know what P.R. is going to do now. CABOOSE: It’s time for a paint job! ::Tha Puerto Rican spray-paints “LC” on Colombian Heat’s back. He then turns him around and spray-paints “P.R. 9:12” on Heat’s chest. The crowd boos loudly and chants “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” P.R. throws the spray-paint can on Heat’s face and then grabs the microphone again. The crowd continues booing loudly. The Lightning Crew all smile evilly and laugh as they all hover over Colombian Heat.:: COACH: There are now only 7 members in The Lightning Crew! ::Tha Puerto Rican smacks Colombian Heat in the face. Colombian Heat is unconscious, breathing hard, as P.R. grabs his head.:: THA PUERTO RICAN: YOU SON-OF-A-BITCH!!! COLOMBIAN HEAT, YOU ARE A PIECE OF CRAP!!! COLOMBIAN HEAT, YOU ARE NOW KICKED OUT OF THE LIGHTNING CREW!!! YOU HAVE SCREWED ME OVER FOR THE LAST TIME!!! IT IS ALL YOUR FAULT I LOST THE PUERTO RICAN CHAMPIONSHIP TO THE MAD CRAPPA!!! CONSIDER OUR FRIENDSHIP….OVER!!! YOU AND ME ARE NO LONGER BEST FRIENDS!!! WE’RE NOT EVEN FRIENDS!!! OUR FRIENDSHIP IS FINISHED!!! YOU AND ME, WE’RE NOW ENEMIES!!! COLOMBIAN HEAT, YOU ARE GONE FROM THE LIGHTNING CREW!!! YOU AND ME ARE NO LONGER FRIENDS!!!! IT’S OVER!!! WE ARE THROUGH!!! OUR FRIENDSHIP IS DONE!!! AND THAT’S THE TRUTH, RUTH!!! ::Tha Puerto Rican spits in Colombian Heat’s face. The crowd boos loudly. Tha Puerto Rican drops Heat’s head onto the mat. Heat lies on the mat, unconscious, breathing hard, and spray-painted. Tha Puerto Rican raises his fists in victory and is greeted with “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” chants. The Lightning Crew poses with Tha Puerto Rican. P.R. sneers at the crowd and then leaves the ring. “No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Boyds begins playing. Tha Puerto Rican sneers at Colombian Heat one more time and then exits the ring. The Lightning Crew trash talk Colombian Heat and exit the ring also.:: COLE: Well, I don’t believe what we have just seen. The Lightning Crew have abolished Colombian Heat, P.R.’s own best friend, from the group, and then proceeded to beat him down to unconsciousness and then spray-paint his body! CABOOSE: Eh, he deserves it for screwing P.R. over. COACH: WHAT? Last week, you said that P.R. and Colombian Heat would be friends forever! Now, this week, you say that Colombian Heat deserved to get beat up just for accidentally hitting P.R. with the Puerto Rican Championship belt?! CABOOSE: Now, you know that P.R. doesn’t like not getting what he wants. And he will screw over those who screw him! Family, friends, priests, teachers, his idols, it’s all the same to him. You scratch his back, he’ll scratch yours. He scratches your back, and you don't scratch his, he'll kick your ass big time. COACH: I can’t get over what we just saw. P.R. and Heat have been friends for 3 years. And it all came apart in the last few minutes! CABOOSE: Watch guys. I bet Colombian Heat crawls back to Tha Puerto Rican and begs for his forgiveness. COLE: I don’t know about that. I think Colombian Heat now considers Tha Puerto Rican his enemy and rightly so. At the beginning of this show, they were friends, but now they hate each other. You can bet that Colombian Heat will be looking for revenge when he wakes up! CABOOSE: He’ll come crawling back. They always do. COACH: What do you mean they? CABOOSE: You know. They. COACH: I don’t get it. CABOOSE: Of course, YOU don’t. ::”No Chance In Hell” continues playing. The Lightning Crew has left the ring and are walking up the ramp. The crowd is still booing and chanting “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” Some throw garbage in P.R.’s direction. P.R. sneers at the crowd one more time and raises his hands in victory. P.R. jaws with the fans and sneers at Heat. The last shot is of Colombian Heat still lying on the mat in pain. The crowd starts to cheer for Heat to get up.:: COLE: Well, we will be right back with more HeldDOWN~! In a few! ::The last shot is of Colombian Heat lying on the mat, unconscious, breathing hard, stripped of his yellow Lightning Crew tanktop and orange Lightning Crew t-shirt, with black spray-paint on his chest and back.:: ::FADE OUT:: ::COMMERCIALS::

(Return from break) COLE Well folks, it’s all come down to this, the GPX facing up to the BT, and we’ll shortly be crowning new tag team champions. COACH Stop yo’ yammerin’ fo! Let’s get to it! Cue: “Quiet” We go without the usual smoke ‘n’ sparks for Dan, as the man in Black walks out in his ring gear, ready to go. He’s reached halfway to the ring when he stops, and faces the entrance. Cue: “Simply Ravishing” T.Bod struts out and strikes a pose on the ramp, before strolling down to join Dan. The two shake hands, and together enter the ring. BUFFER Introducing first, the team of “IceHeart” Dan Black and T.Bod- Black T! Dan and Tony soak in the BOOS the crowd feels happy to throw at them. Dan angrily jaws with a fan at ringside, and makes to exit the ring after the loudmouth, but T.Bod restrains his partner. CABOOSE Listen to these idiots boo! Don’t they realise they’re looking at the next big thing? BUFFER Aaaaand their opponents- Cue: “Make Her Stay” BUFFER Scotty Static! Johnny “Jam” Jackson! The Global PAAAAAAAAARTY EXCHANGE! GPX come sprinting out, charging into the ring and attacking the surprised Dan and T.Bod! DING DING DING Static and Jackson take it to their opponent with a flurry of punches, boots and chops that rock the bigger men back. COACH These guys are wasting no time! No dancing, no partying! COLE This is such a big match, the winners will have control of the entire tag division. The GPX are all about those tag titles tonight. Static grabs a hold of Dan, while Jackson takes Tony, and they stereo whip Black T to the ropes, before hitting them both with BIIIIIIIIIIIG back body drops! Black and T.Bod stagger up, and eat stereo dropkicks! Black T slide out of the ring, holding their jaws and glaring angrily at the GPX. Static and Jackson look at each other, nod, and throw themselves off the ropes towards Black T! Both GPX members vault over the top rope with planchas, flying onto Dan and TB and flattening them to the hard arena floor! The crowd POPS for the big move, as the GPX pick themselves up. Static grabs Dan and throws him into the ring, while Jackson takes up his teams corner. Scotty brings Dan to his feet and goes for a whip, but Black counters it into an armbar. Dan shakes hard on the arm and knocks Static down to his knees. CABOOSE And after those dancing idiots showed that they can- oh my god- JUMP, we’ll see Dan show us some actual wrestling. Dan and T.Bod are in another league. COLE It’s true that Black T have much more experience in an OAOAST ring, but they haven’t teamed that often. GPX have the advantage in tag team experience. CABOOSE Do you remember the Miracle Weirdness Connection? Dan Black and JINGUS? Widely believed to be the greatest OAOAST tag team ever? COACH OWNED! In the ring, Black applies an arm bar in a kneeling position, putting pressure on the shoulder of Static. Static scrambles to get up, and Black allows him, before shaking the arm hard again in an attempt at a knockdown. But Scotty rolls forward and out of Dan’s grasp, swiftly ducking Black’s swinging elbow. Static rolls over Dan’s arched back and dropkicks him from behind, before running to the ropes and delivering a bulldog that takes Black to the mat. Static grabs Dan over to the GPX corner and tags in his partner. Johnny enters and together he and Scotty whip Dan off the ropes. As he rebounds the GPX trip Dan to the mat with a double drop toe hold, followed by stereo elbow drops to the back of the neck. Jackson rolls Dan over for the cover… ONE! ….but Dan kicks out comfortably and sits up, holding his neck. Jackson responds with a seated dropkick straight into Black’s face that snaps Dan’s head back hard! T.Bod slams the turnbuckle in frustration and shouts encouragingly to Dan. Johnny whips Dan to the ropes, but T.Bod runs across the apron and grabs Dan’s arm, saving him from returning . Jackson shrugs and runs forwards, slamming into Dan, who slams into Tony, knocking him off the apron to the floor! Jackson nails Dan with a couple of forearms and then locks on a headlock, drawing Black into the GPX corner. Scotty slaps Jackson on the shoulder and vaults into the ring. Jackson holds Dan in place while Static delivers a trio of kicks to his midsection. The GPX follow with a double snapmare to Dan and a double kick to the back. Static follows with a jump over neckbreaker to the seated Black. Static brings Dan up and tags Jackson back in. COLE The GPX working with quick tags here, while T.Bod hasn’t even made it into the ring yet! CABOOSE And when he does, these party boys are going to be a lot less popular without their teeth. Johnny grabs Black into a front facelock and hits him with a high hanging vertical suplex. T.Bod is back on the apron, and Dan rolls onto his front, trying to crawl over for the tag. Jackson hauls him back and up and sets him in the pumphandle position! COACH Pumphandle Piledriver! The Beat Drop! Can you feel that beat, Michael Cole? Johnny brings Dan up, but he slips out of Jackson’s grasp, landing behind him- as Jackson is laid out by a vicious lariat from Tony that spins him over almost 360! The crowd BOOS Tony as the referee ushers him out, while Dan picks Jackson off the mat, bringing him to the Black T corner and tagging his partner. T.Bod enters, grinning, and body slams Johnny, before taking a moment to pose and show his snake hips to the ladies in the crowd. Jackson starts to clamber up, but Tony meets him with a knee to the gut and a gutwrench suplex that seems to drive the air out of Jackson. T.Bod with a whip to the ropes and a belly to belly throw leaves Johnny in pain on the mat. Tony strolls around the fallen Jackson and kicks at him casually, then stands aside and motions Johnny to make the tag. Jackson crawls halfway across the ring before T.Bod grabs him around the waist and hits him with a release German suplex! Dan applauds, nodding in approval, as T.Bod delivers the ARROGANT COVER~! ONE! TWO! SHOULDER UP! Tony grabs a handful of hair to bring Jackson to his feet, and grabs him around the neck. T.Bod grinds Jackson’s head around into the Rude Awakening position, uses his left hand to flip off Scotty Static, and then CRUSHES Johnny’s head into the mat with the old skool move! T.Bod declines a cover, and tags in Dan Black instead. T.Bod grabs Jackson’s legs into a Boston Crab, while Dan locks on a Fujiwara armbar! Johnny is stretched painfully in two directions until the ref counts Tony out of the ring. CABOOSE And now we’re seeing the team work from Black T. Jackson is isolated, in pain- in short, this match is over. COLE He badly needs the tag, but he’ll have to make it past both these men to do it! Dan brings Jackson to his feet and locks on a full nelson, looking for a Dragon suplex! Jackson frantically counters, dropping down to his behind and rolling back through Black’s leg to slap on a waistlock! Dan counters that however, breaking the waist lock, hooking back Jackson’s arms and delivering a Tiger Suplex that powers Johnny’s head and neck into the canvas! The bridge! ONE! TWO! Static runs in to break the count. As the referee sends Scotty out however, T.Bod jumps back in, and Black T re-apply their crab/armbar move, this time with positions reversed! Static frantically tries to get to his partner, but the referee holds him back, unaware of Black T’s assault. At last Scotty subsides into his corner, and the ref sees Tony, sternly sending him out. Dan Black argues with the man in the zebra shirt, allowing Jackson, with a burst of energy, to cradle him from behind! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Dan furiously grabs Jackson, hooks up his left leg, and gives him a Fisherman’s DDT! The crowd draws in its breath at the impact of Johnny’s skull on the mat, and Black stands, running his hand through his hair. As Dan moves back to Jackson, his attention is drawn by someone appearing through the crowd! In full, golden cowboy suit (now with added tassels and streamers) Jivin’ Jim Ross is at ring side! COLEYeah! Jivin’ Jim! I can’t wait for the dancing doll to hit the stores! COACH You have the prototype! I saw it in your bedroom! CABOOSE What the hell where you doing in his bedroom? COACH Er…screwing his wife! Yeah! That’s it! JR stands behind Scotty Static, giving him the thumbs up and clapping Johnny Jackson on! COLE It looks like JR, having been CRUELLY FIRED by Dan Black, has come out to support their opponents! CABOOSE Well, they are dancing party guys. Maybe JR is better off with them. Scotty doesn’t look convinced, gazing at JR with concern and not a little disgust. Dan shakes off the presence of JR and brings Jackson up, but Johnny fights back with a pair of forearms- until Dan cuts him off with a toekick and drags him down into the Heart of Ice crossface! Black rips at Jackson, but Scotty runs along the apron, springboarding in off the top rope with a legdrop to Dan’s back that breaks up the hold! T.Bod, of course, enters too and hits Scotty with a belly to back suplex before he can even sense T.Bod’s charismatic presence. Black and Tony grab Static up, each holding him under one arm, and hold him high into the air, before slamming him down on his head with the Backseat Boys T-Gimmick! CABOOSE The Black T Gimmick! COLE Oh c’mon, you just added “Black” to the original move name! Dan covers as Tony exits! ONE! TWO! THREE! NO! Jackson recovers just in time for the save! Johnny and Dan exchange blows, until Jackson just jumps and levels Black with a running enziguiri! Jackson, still the legal man, meets Tony as he runs back in with a stiff kick to the face, and then pumphandles T.Bod into the Beat Drop to a big POP! Jackson rolls T.Bod out, and helps Scotty to his feet. Static slowly walks over to the corner and sits on the middle rope, as JR runs round to cheer him on! Johnny applies a front facelock and suplexes Black up into Scotty’s arms! COLE The Designated Driver! This is it for Black T! GPX win the tag titles! Static looks ready to deliver the flying piledriver- but suddenly his face crumples in pain, and he drops Dan to the mat! Scotty slowly falls forward off the top turnbuckle! COACH Ohmygod! What happened?! Dan, on one knee, grabs the referee’s shirt and draws him down to him, talking rapidly, so that referee does not see Jivin’ Jim Ross enter the ring, holding a lead pipe. COLE Oh no! It was JR! He took out Scotty and the ref couldn’t see a thing! Johnny, look out! Over there! Jackson is checking on the fallen static, and only turns in time to – OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH! -take the pipe full in his face! COACH What a screw job! CABOOSE And it’s all just a matter of steps from here… JR slides out of the ring as Dan releases the referee! A recovered T.Bod pulls Static out of the ring and throws him into the guard rail, before jumping back into the ring! T.Bod and Dan picks Johnny up, his face covered in blood. Combined Rock Bottom-Out of Body Experience. The Black Body Bag. CABOOSE 3B! 3B! Dan’s cover. ONE. TWO. THREE. DING DING DING BUFFER The winners of the match….and NEW OAOAST Tag Team Champions- Dan Black and T.Bod, BLACK T! Dan and TB snatch a tag belt each, holding them up in celebration, before hugging. Jivin’ JR skips back into the ring, nodding seriously at the new champs. Dan turns to JR, a new look of respect on his face, and shakes his hand. T.Bod, grinning, does the same. COLE Well, the tournament has brought us new champions, but what a lousy way to win the belts. Black T should be ashamed! COACH At least JR proved himself! That has to make you happy, right? CABOOSE This should make everyone happy! We have legitimate OAOAST superstars holding the tag titles once more, unlike all the rest of the idiots in this tournament! COLE I hate to say it, but Ladies and Gentleman, your new tag team champions- Black T. CABOOSE I think we can all sleep a little easier knowing that company’s best tag team holds the world’s most prestigious tag team belts. COACH But who will hold the world’s most prestigious tag team titles? Find out next. COLE Nice transition! (Take a break)

::When we return from break, "It's Goin' Down" by Linkin Park feat. the X-ecutioners is playing over the PA system as Chris Bryte heads down the ramp to a chorus of boos. To celebrate the occasion, Bryte is carrying a bag of wedding rice, which he takes the time to throw *directly* into the faces of the ringside fans as he makes his way to the ring.:: Cole: Fans, we're back on HeldDOWN~! Michael Cole alongside the Coach and Caboose, and here we have this asshole Chris Bryte... Caboose: The NEW Champion of Champions! Right, Cole? Cole: Well...I dunno about that. Bryte was victorious over Panther in an emotional contest at Living Anglelously, thanks to a sledgehammer shot from his fiancee Tina, and as a result of that match, Panther's career here in the OAOAST is over, folks! Caboose: That's right, but enough dwelling on the past! Panther is ancient history now! This right here is a momentus occasion! The wedding of Chris Bryte and Tina! ::As he reaches the base of the ramp, Bryte spots a fan holding a "Chris Bryte is GOD" sign. Bryte approaches the fan and pats him on the back, saying "THAT'S THE TRUTH" as he points at the sign. He gives the young fan the thumbs up...then promptly throws a big handful of rice right into his face, drawing a mixture of boos and laughter from the crowd. Bryte then heads into the ring, which is now decorated with rose petals and some flowers. Bryte walks up to a podium that stands on the far side of the ring, behind which stands the minister. Bryte's music dies down and the camera focuses on the entrance, from which a red velvet carpet rolls out from the locker room and covers the ramp. The silence fills the air as the lights dim down a bit, and the candles along the ramp light up as the wedding march begins to play over the PA. The fans rise to their feet, watching as Tina steps out from the locker room carrying a bouquet of roses. She her way down the ramp and up the specially decorated steps. A couple of ringside attendents climb up on the side of the ring and lifts the middle and pushes down the bottom rope as Tina steps in, beaming as she walks over to Bryte and the minister. The music dies down, the lights return to normal and the minister begins:: Minister: Dearly beloved, we are gathered here tonight to witness the marriage of Tina Marie Laurer and Christopher Alexander-Alawishous Bryte. Coach: (snicker) Alawishous? Caboose: (slaps Coach) Quiet! Minister: If anyone here feels that these two should not be wed, please speak now or forever hold your peace. ::A uproar starts up in the crowd, as just about everyone in the arena objects to the wedding. LOUD chants of "WE WANT PAN-THER **CLAP, CLAP, CLAP CLAP CLAP**" start up, unnerving Bryte a bit. He adjusts his clip-on, turns to the crowd with a scornful look in his eyes and raises both hands into the air to quiet the crowd down. Of course, this doesn't work, and the crowd only gets louder:: Cole: Man, these fans don't like Chris Bryte! Caboose: This is so rude. How would these people like it if Bryte showed up to their weddings and did something like this? ::After a while, the crowd begins to tire out, and the jeers begin to die down. Bryte sighs in relief as he turns back to Tina, looks the minister in the eye, and nods. The minister opens his mouth, preparing to speak, but before any words can come out... **BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM~!** ...the arena is rocked by a HUGE pyro blast on stage. "State Prop (You Know Us)" hits the PA system, and the crowd ERUPTS as flashing red and white spotlights swarm the arena:: Cole: WAIT A MINUTE~! Coach: Is he here?! Is Panther here?!??! ::Bryte looks scared to death as he glares at the entrance, awaiting Panther's arrival. However, the music slowly dies down, the lights return to normal, and the Angletron lights up, showing an image of the tech crew in the production truck.:: Random tech guy: Yeah, and I spilled coffee all over the controls here...I was cleaning it up and accidentally mashed the buttons. Sorry about that guys! Continue on with the wedding! ::The crowd boos wildly in the background as Bryte breathes a sigh of relief in the ring. As chants of "WE WANT PAN-THER" start up once again, the minister continues:: Minister: Do you, Tina, take this man, to be your lawfully wedded husband. To love, honor, and cherrish, for better or for worse, and in sickness and in health? ::The boos continue from the crowd, and now, chants of "JUST SAY NO" start up throughout the arena. Bryte looks on intently as Tina smiles nervously, with a look of uncertainty on her face. She looks into the crowd, almost as if she's asking for their approval. The jeers and chants get louder:: Caboose: Ignore them, Tina! You're in love, remember?! ::Tina turns back to Bryte once more. As both Bryte and the crowd look on, Tina, breathing deep , rapid breaths, opens her mouth, with the tip of her tongue pressed up against the roof of her mouth. You almost expect her to say "NO", but... Tina: I DO! ::The crowd boos loudly in the background, and slight chants of "SHE'S GOT HERPES" start up near the back of the arena. Bryte's grinning from ear to ear as the minister now turns to him:: Minister: And do you, Chris Bryte, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife? To love, honor, and cherrish, for better or for worse, and in sickness and in health? ::Bryte flashes Tina a warm smile as she patiently awaits his answer. He opens his mouth to speak... ...but no words come out! Bryte opens his mouth again... ....still no words. The crowd begins to boo once again as Chris Bryte, now shivering, turns his back to Tina and faces the crowd!:: Coach: He's not getting cold feet, is he?! Caboose: C'mon, Chris! You can do it! Macho Man: BE A MAN, BROTHA! ::Cole, Coach and Caboose all turn to Savage with a look of confusion on their faces:: Cole: Where the hell'd you come from?! ::After an uneasy silence, Savage shrugs his shoulders, and we camera cuts back to the ring, where Bryte takes a deep breath to compose himself. Now calm, Bryte turns back to Tina with a smile. She smiles back, still awaiting Bryte's answer. Bryte places his right hand over his heart, opens his mouth and says... Bryte:...NAH! Cole: "Nah?!" *WHAM* Cole: OH NO!!!!!!! ::Suddenly, Bryte turns and blasts Tina with a spinning back kick to to gut, doubling her over. He follows up with a with a knee lift to the jaw that knocks Tina to the canvas. The crowd is LIVID!!!! Bottles, cups and other items fly into the ring as Bryte knocks over the podium, shoves the Minister out of the ring and grabs the mic. He turns to Tina with a look of disdain in his eyes:: Bryte: YOU BITCH!!! YOU STUPID...DISGUSTING BITCH!!!!! (crowd boos) DID YOU *REALLY* THINK THAT I LOVED YOU?!??! DID YOU HONESTLY BELIEVE THAT SOMEBODY I COULD BE IN LOVE WITH A FREAK LIKE YOU?!?!?! ::Tina sits on the mat holding her jaw, in total disbelief at what has just happened. As tears begin to flow down her cheeks, Tina tries to rise, but... *CRACK* ...Bryte sends her right back down with a kick to the temple. A second one to the back causes her to roll over onto her stomach, and by now, officials are beginning to pour out from the locker room:: Cole: This is absolutely disgusting! I cannot believe what Chris Bryte has done! The son of a bitch...in the middle of the wedding... Caboose: And I don't think he's done, Cole! Look! ::With a series of martial arts kicks and strikes, Bryte sends the officials flying from the ring. Meanwhile, a groggy Tina is beginning to pull herself back to her feet. Bryte turns back to her with a sinister smile:: Cole: Oh no! C'mon, Chris! You've done enough! ::When Tina reaches her feet, Bryte rushes up to her and boots her in the midsection, doubling her over again. Suddenly, he scoops her up over his right shoulder and parades her around the ring as the fans look on, booing wildly. More officials enter the ring, trying to talk Bryte down, but to no avail. Bryte turns to the main camera, lifts Tina high into the air, and drops her down in... Cole: THE BRYTE OUT!!!!!!!! MY GOD, HE JUST GAVE THE BRYTE OUT TO TINA!!!!!! ::Bryte springs back to his feet, soaking up the boos from the capacity crowd. Then, to complete the humilation, Bryte reaches down and rips off Tina's wedding gown, leaving her lying on the mat in her bra and panties. He throws what's left of the gown into the crowd, then hops out to the floor as officials attend to Tina. "It's Goin' Down" starts up over the PA system once again, and Chris Bryte starts back up the ramp:: Cole: That son of a bitch! That no good son of a bitch! I cannot believe this asshole Chris Bryte! After all Tina's done for him! Bringing Bryte into the OAOAST! Standing by his side after all these months! After saving his ass in the career match versus Panther...for him to do this to her...the woman who loved him...how could he?! How coldhearted can this man be?!?!? This is...this is just sickening!!! ::At the top of the ramp, Bryte raises his arms into the air, drawing more boos from the crowd. He throws up a middle finger and starts back to the locker room as we fade out:: (Go to break)

"Pompeii" by E.S. Posthumus kicks in over the arena speakers as the lights go down. A loud chorus of boos resonates across the arena as a spotlight focuses on St. Andrew walking to the ring, being trailed by Gibraltar. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from Saint Andrew's Cathedral, weighing in at 230 pounds, SAAAAAAINT AAAAANDREW!!! COLEFolks, we're all set to go in this matchup between St. Andrew and Hoff. CABOOSE A damn shame if you ask me. Hoff lost at The Year of Living Anglelously, and now he's whining about it to the boss. Andrew walks to the ring slowly, Gibraltar following him. Gibraltar remains on the outside as Andrew heads to the ring, walking to a corner, a dour, slightly nervous expression on his face. COACH Guys, I don't think Andrew is looking forward to this. COLE Would you? "Pompeii" fades out and the lights come back up, only to dim again as "Black" blares across the arena speakers. BUFFER And his opponent! The fans come alive as Hoff steps out of the entraceway, looking furious...and beings sprinting to the ring! BUFFER From Minneapolis, Minnesota, he-- Buffer doesn't even have time to finish the introductions as Hoff blows past Gibraltar and slides into the ring! St. Andrew rolls under the bottom rope to safety, Buffer clears the ring as well, and Hoff pops up to his feet, staring daggers at both St. Andrew and Gibraltar. COLE Hoff looks angrier than I've ever seen! COACH I'd hate to be St. Andrew right now. COLE Yeah, but remember, St. Andrew earned this! Hoff was one move away from walking out of The Year of Living Anglelously victorious when Andrew cost him the match! CABOOSE Revisionist history. All I know is that Gibraltar, monster that he is, got the victory. Andrew whispers something in Gibraltar's ear, and the monster nods. Andrew tenatively climbs up on the apron, looking warily at Hoff, who's still staring at him. Andrew steps through the ropes, takes a step forward... ...and gets speared to the mat! Andrew folds almost in half as he falls, and Hoff is on him, throwing furious punches! The crowd goes NUT! The referee finally signals for the bell, then turns his attention to the action. COLE What a fight we're in store for! The ref tries to pull Hoff off of Andrew, and Hoff gets to his feet, yelling at the official, who signals that Hoff was using a closed fist. St. Andrew pulls himself up as Hoff argues the point, but Hoff lets it go and stalks toward Andrew, grabbing him by the shoulders and flinging him into the corner before lowering his shoulder and driving it into Andrew's ribs repeatedly. Andrew doubles over, and Hoff whips Andrew hard out of the buckle and across the ring. Andrew stumbles out of the corner, and Hoff hits a huge running clothesline, falling to his knees as Andrew falls hard onto his back and shoulders. COLE Hoff skipping the technique early and going right for the power. CABOOSE Hoff doesn't care about the match, Cole! He just wants to punish Andrew. Like he's qualified to do so. COACH He's certainly got a reason, 'Booze. CABOOSE I was so much happier when you were gone. Hoff pulls Andrew to his feet, then floors him again with a standing clothesline! Hoff makes a quick cover, but it only gets a two count. Hoff pulls Andrew back up to his feet, throws him into the ropes, and catches him coming off with a high back body drop that sends St. Andrew sprawling across the mat! Andrew quickly rolls out of the ring following the move. COLE Andrew taking a powder here, and-- oh wait! Hoff--! Andrew catches his breath, then turns back to face the ring...and is met with a diving cross body over the top rope! Hoff sails over the strands and comes crashing down on Andrew to the delight of the fans! COLE Two-hundred and seventy-five pounds, and as light and quick as a cat. CABOOSE You have to admit that that's impressive. COACH Yeah! CABOOSE Hey, shut it, mouseketeer. YOU have to admit it. I don't. Hoff delives a few more fists to Andrew's face before springing to his feet, meeting an approaching Gibraltar with a big right hand! Gibraltar reels, and Hoff lowers his shoulder and charges, sending the big man crashing into the guardrail! Hoff steps back, then charges and clotheslines Gibraltar into the seats! COLE These two may NEVER stop fighting! Hoff yells down at Gibraltar as the fans crowd around the scene. Hoff turns away and stalks toward Andrew, but Andrew catches him with a thumb to the eye as he gets to his feet! COACH Oh, what a cheap shot! CABOOSE It's about time. Hoff reels back and into the guardrail. Andrew walks over, grabs Hoff by the back of his head, and uses the guardrail to choke him out! COLE Some innovative cheating by St. Andrew! Hoff flails his limbs while in the choke...then suddenly breaks free, throwing Andrew's arms off of him, spinning, and meeting Andrew with a big right hand that floors him! The fans at ringside cheer, and a few reach over and slap Hoff on the back as he picks Andrew up and rolls him back into the ring. Hoff follows him in, and shoves the referee as he reprimands Hoff for his actions. COACH The official's trying to keep this one clean, but I dunno! COLE There may not be much he can do. Look at Hoff. Look at his eyes. He is on the warpath! Andrew crawls away on his hands and knees, but Hoff scoops him up from behind and drops him with a back suplex. Andrew holds his back in pain as Hoff lays in some heavy stomps. Andrew rolls over and crawls to the ropes, but Hoff follows him over and begins choking him out on the ropes. COLE Turnabout is fair play! CABOOSE I din't see anything fair about this! Come on, ref, make him break the hold. The referee administers a five-count, but Hoff lets go of the choke at four. As Andrew lies across the middle rope, Gibraltar comes over to check on him, but Hoff kicks Gibraltar in the face! CABOOSE Aw, come on. COLE Now what's wrong with that, Caboose? CABOOSE Gibraltar was just checking on his poor manager in there and Hoff assaults him for no reason. COLE No reason?! CABOOSE You heard me. COACH Don't forget guys, Andrew is an accomplished grappler in addition to being Gibraltar's manager and running buddy. COLE True, but we haven't seen much of him in the ring lately, and he may be in over his head! Hoff pulls Andrew off the ropes and scoops him up, slamming him down to the canvas. Hoff sizes Andrew up, and drops a big leg across his chest before going for another cover -- but again, Andrew kicks out at two. COACH Andrew's in a bad way here. Hoff picks Andrew up, throws him into the ropes, and catches him coming off with a back elbow to the jaw that sends Andrew reeling. Andrew stumbles into the ropes, and Hoff again throws him off, catching him with a drop toe hold that sends him down. Hoff gets to his feet, and drops another leg, this time across the back of Andrew's head. CABOOSE Looks like Hoff, that mongoloid, is going after Andrew's neck. COLE Fitting, after what Gibraltar did to Hoff last Sunday. That was one hell of a beating. CABOOSE That's right. A beating. Gibraltar BEAT Hoff. That's all there is. COLE But there's no doubt that if Hoff had hit the Rock Bottom -- if St. Andrew hadn't been there -- CABOOSE If, if, if. Geez, Michael. Hoff picks Andrew up again, then slips behind him and grabs his neck, taking him down with a punishing neckbreaker. Hoff again makes a cover, but again, Andrew is able to get the shoulder up. Gibraltar pounds on the mat, shouting at St. Andrew -- and Hoff pops up and shoots a glare at Gibraltar. COACH So much bad blood here over such a short time. Hoff turns his gaze away from Gibraltar after a second, and bends down to pick Andrew up, but Andrew throws a forearm to Hoff's ribs that doubles the big man over. Andrew gets to one knee and throws another blow, then stands up and grins an evil grin before driving his knee up into Hoff's face! COLE Hoff caught by surprise here! CABOOSE That's what happens when you take your eyes off of your opponent. Hoff snaps back and falls to the mat, and Andrew flashes a smile to the crowd, prompting a round of jeers. Andrew walks to Hoff's head, and drops a knee across the face of Hoff. COLE That knee, right in the forehead of Hoff, that's gotta be a lot of pain. Andrew makes a nonchalant cover, but Hoff easily kicks out at two. COLENah, not gonna happen, not that easily... COACH Yeah, but I think Andrew is trying to embarass Hoff here! St. Andrew gets to his feet, and swaggers around the ring before placing his boot on Hoff's face, and raking it across! Hoff grabs his face and writhes in pain! COLE Aw come on! CABOOSE Heh, I love that stuff. Andrew kicks Hoff's hands aside, and steps on Hoff's throat, choking him! The referee admonishes Andrew and tries to pull him off, before starting his five count, and Andrew breaks at four, arguing with the official. Andrew shoves the referee aside, and steps through the ropes onto the ring apron! COLE Oh what's Andrew gonna go for here? Andrew looks at Hoff for a second, sizing up the distance, then slingshots himself over the top rope with a legdrop! BUT HOFF MOVES! The fans cheer like mad! COACH No dice! COLE Andrew trying a pretty impressive high-risk move there, but no one home! Andrew grabs his hip and backside as Hoff gets to his feet, stalking over to where Andrew lies! COLE Oh, look at Hoff, like a wolf moving in for the kill! CABOOSE It's horrible. Hoff grabs Andrew by the hair and pulls him into a front face lock, slinging Andrew's arm over his neck! Hoff lifts Andrew up, and takes him over with a vertical suplex! Andrew's back arches in pain, and Hoff springs back up! Hoff grabs Andrew again... COLE We've seen Hoff do this before, this series of suplexes, and it can be devastaing! Hoff lifts Andrew up and drops him in a second vertical suplex! Hoff picks Andrew up again, hooks him, and lifts him up to the rafters...and holds him there! COACH What power! CABOOSE Big deal. Hoff keeps Andrew up...takes a few steps...but Andrew shifts his weight and slips out of the hold! CABOOSE Ha ha! Andrew lands behind Hoff, and pushes him to the ropes to attempt a rollup! But Hoff holds onto the top rope! Andrew somersaults backwards and lands on his feet, but Hoff charges and turns him inside out with a huge clothesline! COLE Oh my! COACH What a huge move by Hoff! He's like a steamroller! Hoff roars after the big move, and the crowd roars back! Hoff pulls Andrew to his feet, grabs him around the waist, and hits a big belly-to-belly suplex! Hoff rolls into a lateral press! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! COLE And Andrew gets his shoulder up in the nick of time! I don't know how much more of this Andrew can take! Hoff gets to his feet and stares a hole in Andrew's back as the Saint finds his feet! Andrew, dazed, stumbles back...and Hoff grabs his arm, whips him around, and yanks him back with a short-arm clothesline! COACH DAYUM! Hoff reaches down, picks Andrew up...and hits the move again! COLE TWO short-arm clotheslines from Hoff! He is REALLY putting the hurt on St. Andrew! Hoff makes a cover! ONE! TWO! THREE...NO! Hoff pulls St. Andrew off the canvas! CABOOSE Oh, dear lord. COLE What the hell! COACH Looks like the punishment isn't over! The ref yells at hoff, but Hoff pays him no mind. Hoff whips Andrew off the ropes, waits, and catches him with-- NO! Andrew slides between Hoff's legs, avoiding the spinebuster! Andrew pops to his feet and catches Hoff turning around with a kick to the ribs! COLE Andrew's not going down so easily! Andrew kicks Hoff in the gut, and grabs him with a front chancery, but Hoff punches him in the side! Andrew's grip loosens, and Hoff slips his arm free, and grabs Andrew around the waist! Hoff flips St. Andrew over with a Northern Lights Suplex! COLE Northern lights suplex from Hoff! Here's the count! ONE! TWO! THREENO! COACH That was close! CABOOSE Too close, guys. This isn't good. Hoff gets to his feet, stalking toward Andrew, who uses the ropes to get to his feet. Andrew stumbles toward Hoff, and Hoff grabs him, whips him into the ropes, and catches him with a HUGE spinebuster~! COACH SPIIIIIIIIINEBUSTER! COLE A huge spinebuster from Hoff, and-- hey, what the hell?! Hoff pops up to his feet, but Gibraltar steps into the ring and clocks him from behind!! The official calls for the bell, then gets out of dodge as Gibraltar begins pounding away at Hoff! COLE Aw geez, not again. COACH St. Andrew and Gibraltar once again playing the numbers game and taking it to Hoff! CABOOSE About time. Gibraltar drives Hoff into the corner with a barrage of fists, but Hoff turns him around and begins pummeling away! The fans go BANANA as Hoff lays into Gibraltar with huge fists that send the big man reeling! Hoff whips Gibraltar to the opposite corner, and Gibraltar hits hard! Gibraltar stumbles out of the corner, and Hoff catches him with a SPINEBUSTER~! CABOOSE Gah! COLE YES! Hoff lays Gibraltar out with a huge spinebuster! And-- wait! from behind! Andrew gets to his feet as Hoff pumps his fist after the big spinebuster! Andrew charges at Hoff...but Hoff turns around and catches Andrew! COLE ROCK BOTTOM! COACH ROCK BOTTOM! CABOOSE Dammit. COLE Hoff just caught St. Andrew with the Rock Bottom, and these fans are going insane! The fans are on ther feet cheering as Andrew rolls out of the ring! He and Gibraltar regroup and head up the aisleway and out of the arena! Hoff paces around the ring, looking furious! COLE Hoff has cleared house here tonight, and I think he's gotten some small measure of revenge! CABOOSE This is horrible, this is horrible! COLE Well the fact remains that...hey, look at this! COACH Hoff's got a mic! Hoff grabs a mic from the timekeeper and looks out across the fans. HOFF Listen up...I got something to say. The fans are still abuzz, but quieter. Hoff takes a long look across the crowd. HOFF Six months ago, I came into this company, and I was nobody. And in those six months you people... The fans roar. HOFF You people have made me into somebody, and for that I am grateful. But there's some things I've got to get off my chest. The fans grow quieter now. COLE What's he gonna say? COACH Shut up! HOFF I came into this company as a part of the Underground... The fans boo at the mention of the vile faction. HOFF And I did some things that I'm not too proud of. I've done a lot of things in my short time here, and if I could do it all over, there's a lot I'd change. But the fact is, I learned the hard way that sometimes, a man has to do what's right. And after everything was said and done, I made the concious decision to change my ways, and I'm a better person for it. But I look around this company, and what do I see... people cheating, lying...people attacking each other in the back...we've got a cult of Satan worshippers, a false prophet, a mafioso...hell, we've even got a World Champion taking cheap shots and shortcuts. The fans grow silent, not knowing what to think. HOFF Now what I said was the truth. I'm a sinner...I'm not a good person by any stretch. But there comes a time when a man has got to stand up and say "no more!" A time when... The fans begin to cheer as Hoff's voice rises. HOFF A time when people who do wrong have to be punished. Now, what you saw here tonight is only the beginning. This is a message to all the superstars of the OAOAST...everyone in the back. Rick Edwards says that there are no superheroes? Well, starting tonight, you're looking at a real live superhero, and the biggest, baddest, meanest superhero of them all. The fans are back up to a fever pitch. HOFF So I don't care if you're Mike Hunt, or Tom Goran, or Abe Vigoda, or if you're Zack Malibu...you had better watch yourself, because if you don't.... Hoff's eyes darken. HOFF...I will. Hoff throws down the microphone and exits the ring as "Black" starts playing over the loudspeakers, the fans buzzing over what they've just heard. COLE Wow, what a statement from Hoff! COACH Sounds to me like we've got a new hero in town! CABOOSE Yeah, but did you hear him, guys? There were definitely some threats made at a few certain people... COLE Maybe you're right, but nevertheless, I think we'd all better be on our best behavior! CABOOSE Pfft, what's Hoff gonna do to me? COACH Do you really want to find out? CABOOSE ....No. COACH Yeah that's right! COLE Well that was one hell of an announcement from Hoff, but we've got plenty more action ahead, so stay tuned! (Go to break) FADE IN on a darkened room. A round pen made of wood and fencing is barely visible, a single spotlight illuminating a figure sitting on the floor in the center. A familiar voice speaks. V.O.: This is where I became a man. Where I beat the best and got beaten by the best. The figure stands and the camera quickly zooms in on it. It looks familiar, wearing a familiar blue singlet and long black pants. But the face is obscured in shadow. The camera circles around him. V.O.: When I came back, it was to find what I had forgotten. To find myself. Well, I found what I was looking for. The face is finally illuminated, showing a very different person than what is remembered. His head is shaved, and there is a fairly big shiner on his left eye. PK: And nobody’s gonna like what I found. *Suddenly, these words flash on the screen in a blue metallic font, like that used in the Terminator logo* PETER KNIGHT RETURNS NEXT WEEK HELDOWN~! (Return from break)

(Return from break) In a world full of posers, phonies, and pure wannabees, there finally emerges a group which has come to set the record straight. so, all you suckers better recognize, ya heard can you say uhhh na na na na... CABOOSE I hate these guys. The fans don't share Caboose's sentiments as they rise to their feet to greet the Global Party Xchange. Dark blue Lights rain down on the entrance stage and swirl across the long platform in a circular pattern. The beat of the song kicks in and Scotty Static and Johnny Jam Jackson appear through the entrance way, causing the crowd to erupt with cheers and chants! BUFFER The following is a semi final in the world tag team championship tournament! Now making their way to the ring, weighing in at a combined weight of four hundred and two pounds, they are the most exciting young tag team in the OAOAST, JOHNNY JAM JACKSON, SCOTTY STATIC....GLOBAL PARTAAAAAAY XCHAAAAAAAANGEEEE! CABOOSE Most exciting young tag team in the OAOAST? I've had root canals more exciting and entertaining then them. Scotty moves down the ramp bobbing his head to the bass filled beat the song. Johnny who has a t-shirt gun lags behind, shooting brand new GPX T-shirts into the rabid sellout crowd! CABOOSE I oughta sue this company. COLE For what? CABOOSE For cruel and unusual punishment. What else can you call having to watch these two dorks wrestle twice in one night. COACH Yo, don't dis on my boys! CABOOSE Boys? They don't even know your name, bitch made ass faggot. No one likes you Coach. You fucking suck. You think you're cool and that you're friends with the boys, but they all laugh at you behind your back and take dumps in your luggage when you're out buying them cigarettes and beer. COLE Well, fans, GPX advanced to the semi final by scoring a huge victory over Colvid and Sly Sommers. Tonight they face the returning Alix Spezia and her friend, Krista Isadora Duncan. Here's an interesting fact, Krista changed her name in order to honor the mother of modern dance, Isadora Duncan. CABOOSE That's not interesting. That's fucking stupid. This is wrestling not "Center Stage", or "Save the Last Dance". Wrestling isn't about honoring some old dead bitch, wrestling is about violence, monsters, carnage, and blood. Intelligence, art, sophistication and culture have no place in our world! That fudge packing, cum guzzling, cock hungry slut doesn't deserve to breathe same air as the rest of us, much less work in the same company. The two memebers of GPX hit the ring. Johnny fires off the last of his t-shirts and Scotty climbs to the top rope busts out a few dancing moves. Their music is abrubtly cut out and replaced by the opening of Alanis Morissette's decade old hit song "You Oughta Know" The dark blue swirling lights are replaced with a steady light yellow, soft green fog fills the air of the arena. Chicks Over Dicks make their way from back. Alix Spezia stops on the top of the entrance ramp and throws a peace sign into the air. Not to be outdone by Johnny, Krista also brings out a gun. A book gun. She shoots copies of her book into the audience, but quickly abandons the idea when she hits a fan leaning over a railing in the face and causes him to plummet head first thirty feet to the concrete floor, killing him instantly and splattering his juicy and delicious brain meat on the surrounding fans. Oops! A few audience members come to colossal blows over who gets to eat the forbidden fruit, the Corpus Callosum. BUFFER Now making their way to the ring from Beverly Hills, California, Krista Isadora Duncan and Alix Spezia, CHICKS OVER DIIIIIICKSSSSS! COD struts to the ring, matching cocky smirks on both their faces. Alix has tape on her ribs, but Krista looks young and healthy like Ruby Keeler. COACH Buffer said dicks. CABOOSE MC, have you read Krista's book? No Man, No Cry? COLE Some pieces of it. I thought she made some good points. I didn't agree with all of it but I think she was right in some cases. Like the chapter about the role Christianity plays in misogyny and how people use that as an excuse for their opression of the female sex. CABOOSE What the fuck are you babbling about? I didn't ask you for book review! Women and relegion? Who gives a shit? Not I. This isn't some senior level seminar class on Women's history. I didn't come here to be intellectually stimulated and made aware of the problems that have been plaguing society since the start of the time! Because, I don't give a shit! COACH So are you're rooting for GPX? CABOOSE Hell no! I hope a sniper shoots them all dead. Well he can wound the other three but she better kill Krista. Alix postions herself on the ring apron and Johnny does the same. The ref calls for the bell and we're under way. No sportsman like lock up here as Krista moves Scotty's nose three inches to the right with a back hand slap! Scotty staggers backwards, clutching his nose with his right hand and checking for blood. Krista grabs his free arm and whips him into the ring ropes! REVERSED by Scotty! He throws Krista into the ropes and lowers head hoping to get her to leap frog him. Krista doesn't play along as she catches Scotty boy with a running DDT on the rebound spiking his head into the mat! CABOOSE Way to go Scott, you let an entire gender down. Well done. COACH The match just started, Caboose. Relax. Krista yanks Scotty boy to his feet and hits a headlock. Scotty tugs on her sandy blonde hair in an attempt to get her to break the hold. It doesn't work and Krista tightens her grip on Scotty's head. Scotty tries to shove Krista into the ropes, but his efforts prove fruitless as Krista bends her knee's making it nearly impossible for him to push the former fitness model off. Moving on to plan C, Scotty wraps his arms around Krista's waist and lifts her into the air for what should be a back suplex! NO, BITCH! NO! Krista reverses the move into a lateral press in mid air! CROWD GPX! GPX ! GPX! Krista hooks Scotty's legs into her arms, she falls backwards and slingshots into a neutral corner! Scotty leans against the turnbuckle, with his face resting on the top pad and his arms draped over the ropes. Krista whips her hair back, then charges at Scotty. When she's halfway there she ducks down so that she can drive her shoulder into his lower back! BUT, Scotty moves out of the way just in the nick of time! CLAAAANK! Krista's shoulder is driven into the steel ring post! She mutters a very unlady like slew of expletives as she falls back to the ground. CABOOSE A man would hit that move every single day and twice on Sunday. Not wanting to waste any of his own energy, Scotty let's Krista bring herself to her feet. He hooks her into a front face lock, then lifts her into the air for a vertical suplex! Instead of falling backwards, Scotty boy drops her stomach first onto the top rope! Scotty wraps his left arm around Krista's head, then falls backwards, bringing her off the ropes and nailing her with DDT! For purposes of showboating, Scotty hits a spinning standing leg drop on Krista! CROWD GPX! GPX! GPX! Scotty takes a hold of Krista's arm and pulls her farther way from the ropes. He then falls on top of her for a pin attempt. 1 KICK OUT! CABOOSE That was three. COACH That wasn't even two! Both competitors get to their feet. Scotty throw's out a hard left that Krista quickly sidesteps! Krista slides behind the fresh faced youngster and hooks him into a half nelson. She leaps forward, outstretching her body and taking Scotty down with half nelson face crusher! Krista rubs the shoulder she rammed into the turnbuckle as Scotty rolls over on his back, grabbing onto his face and begging for time to recover. While Scotty staggers to his feet, Krista ducks down as if she's going for a spear. When Scotty gets to a full vertical base, Krista FUCKING NAILS him with a flipping heel kick that rearranges his facial structure! CABOOSE Lucky shot! Lucky shot! Lucky shot! COLE We get the point, JR! Lighting does indeed strike twice and Krista NAILS Scotty with another well placed (for her at least) flipping heel kick! Full of aggressive energy and hatred for her dad, Krista violently yanks Scotty to his feet! She boots him in the stomach with a fierce toe kick! She then hooks her head underneath his arm in hopes of hitting a Northern Lights Suplex! BUT, and there's always a BUT, Scotty counters by bringing down a forceful forearm onto Krista's upper back. The blow drops Krista to her knees, but because Scotty's such a gentlemen he stands her back up, only to hit her with a SWINGING NECK BREAKER! CABOOSE A swinging neck breaker? What kid of amateur third rate shit is that? Do something useful or kill yourself! Scotty pops the crowd by moonwalking his way to the corner. He further pops them by tagging in his ladykilling partner, Johnny "Jam" Jackson! Johnny hops over the ropes and heads to Krista. He makes the mistake of taking her lightly and lazily strolls over to her, only to get taken down with a drop toe hold! Johnny isn't able to get his hands up before he hits the mat and his face absorbs the brunt of the blow! Dazed, Johnny's still able to get to his feet. Out of ther corner of his eye, he notices Krista coming from behind and smacks the side of her head with a back elbow! The move stuns Krista and puts her back on the defensive. Johnny runs the ropes and comes back leaping into the air and onto Krista's shoulder for a hurricanrana! Krista COUNTERS simply by taking a step back and falling backwards, dropping Johnny neck first onto the top rope! Krista heads over to Johnny. She lifts his legs into the air so that his entire body is being held by the ropes and her arms. She then nails him with an ANGRY~! kick to the balls that makes every man in the arena and watching at home cringe! CABOOSE (standing up and shouting at the ref) DQ THAT CUNT! DQ HER! COLE Sit down. No one's been DQed for a low blow since 1984 CABOOSE You sit down! COLE I am sitting. CABOOSE Damn right, son! It's the dog! Krista mocks GPX by moonwalking to her corner. She does them one better however, as she does a pretty impressive version of the robot before making the tag to Alix! CABOOSE This is the OAOAST not "Soul Train"! This is HeldDOWN not MTV's the Grind! This bitch is ruining the sanctity of our wrestling ring! COACH I think you being murdered on screen already accomplished that. The estrogen charged members of the fanbase let out a loud cheer when Alix slides into the ring. She's immediately met with a knife edge chop from a recovered Johnny Jackson! WHOO~! Another chop! WHOO~! Another chop! WHOO~! Another chop! OOMPH! Johnny knees Alix in the abdomen that had been punished by the Cult of Damaramu earlier that night. Johnny wraps his arms around a double overed Alix's waist. He lifts her up onto his shoulder as he looks for a gutwrench powerbomb! Alix COUNTERS the move into a hurricanrana! Johnny quickly pops back up. Alix lunges at him only to be caught with a tilt a whirl stomach crusher! COLE What a show of strength by Jackson! CABOOSE Right, because spinning around a one hundred and forty pound woman is a super human feat. Give me a break. Alix grimaces as she fights in vain to prevent Johnny from bringing her to her feet. Johnny goes for an Irish whip but finds it reversed into a short arm leg lariat by Alix! Johnny tries to roll away but Alix quickly hooks on an armbar preventing any escape and giving her a second or two to catch her breath. CABOOSE I don't know what could be worse, having to sit through another GPX match or watching two girls advance to tag team final tournament. Either way, the OAOAST would be the laughing stock of the wrestling world. Johnny gets to his feet with the armbar still applied. Alix breaks the hold and hooks Johnny into an arm wrench. Looking to put his team on the attack, Johnny runs to the ropes, leaps onto the second rope and back flips over Alix, taking her down with a modified arm drag! The crowd roars in approval for Johnny's awesome show of athleticism! Johnny throws both his arms into the air and the cheers grow even louder! CABOOSE God damn, showboat. In my day, you hit a move then you hit another, you didn't stop to hot dog. You wrestled. You didn't dance, you didn't wave bitch sticks in the air like you're in a De La Soul video or something. COACH De La Soul? Please join us in the year 2004! Johnny and Alix grab a lock up near the corner. Johnny easily over powers Alix with a knee to abdomen, he hooks her for a snap suplex, but Alix wisely blocks it by dropping to a knee. Johnny tries to bring her back up for a snap suplex, but Alix hooks her leg behind the rope. Johnny tries one more time and once again the effort is futile. Still on her knees, Alix BLASTS Johnny in the balls with a closed fist! Johnny has zero time to react however as Alix scoops him up for a vertical suplex of her own. Realizing that she's near the corner and has no room to fall back, Alix leans her body towards the turnbuckle and drops Johnny crotch first on the top pad! Alix takes time out of her busy schedule of owning Johnny to give herself a round of applause. Some teenage girls in the front row play follow the leader and clap for their new idol. Alix goes to the top rope, hooks Johnny into an inverted face lock, and drops to the mat, DRIVING JOHNNY ten feet to the unforgiving canvas with an inverted DDT! The dancing king grabs onto his back and cries out in anguish, while his partner leans over the ropes and pleads for a tag! "You fight like a child." Alix remarks, degrading Johnny and adding insult to injury. She quickly crawls across his chest with a cover, but at the count of two, Scotty Static charges in and pulls her off his partner by her legs, breaking up the count! CABOOSE Thank God. You know, I hate these women just on the grounds that they're actually making me root for the GPX tonight. Alix can't believe Static got away with that infraction, and orders the referee to admonish him. Static shouts something at her from the apron, and the referee goes to calm him down, leaving the ring open for Krista to come in, as Alix picks Johnny up, but leaves him open for Krista to catch him in the ribs, doubling him over with a kitchen sink knee shot! Alix ducks out of the ring to the apron, and claps her hands together, so that when the ref turns around, he thinks there was a tag made! CABOOSE What cheaters. Typical women. COLE You have issues with your mother, don't you? Krista hooks both of Johnny's legs, looking back to make sure she's in position, and then launches him up and over with a catapult, only Johnny catches himself by grabbing the top rope with both hands! Alix, too stunned to react quickly, winds up knocked off the apron with a shot from Johnny, who then turns around and runs at Krista with a Yakuza Kick~! Krista somersaults under Johnny's kick attempt, and charges him when he turns around, but he throws her up and she comes flying down facefirst to the canvas, the victim of a flapjack! COACH I think she left an imprint on the canvas. CABOOSE I think she left her implants IN the canvas! Jackson trips over his own feet due to his weariness, but backs himself into his corner, where partner Scotty Static reaches in and tags himself in! Scotty bounces off the ropes, and leaps over Krista's back as she gets up with a sunset flip, but before he can bring her over, Alix reaches in from the floor and pulls Scotty out of the ring, then stuns him with a low kick...NO! Scotty catches her foot, and whips her leg so that she spins around, then grabs her around her waist and tosses her overhead with a belly to belly suplex on the floor! COLE Alix just got tossed! COACH Check out Cole gettin' down with the lingo! Krista, seeing her partner getting the bad end of the deal on the floor, grips the top rope and launches herself over with a pescado, but Static slides under her and back into the ring. Able to catch this, Krista shifts her legs so that she lands on the apron, and when Scotty comes for her, she ducks and shoulderblocks him in the stomach! He stumbles backwards, and Krista slingshots herself back into the ring, grabbing Scotty's head and swinging him around with a DD...NO! Static puts the brakes on, sliding his head out from Krista's grip. He ducks her desperate clothesline attempt, and reaches back, grabbing her by the head and snapping it against his shoulder with a neckbreaker! Scotty goes for the cover, but Krista kicks out at two! COLE C'mon Caboose, give them some credit. They're hanging in there with one of the premiere tag teams in the world today! CABOOSE Please. Johnny and Scotty are just as much female as they are. While Scotty plans his next move, the fans boo a bit as Flameout darts down the aisle, and helps Alix up! Surprised by his appearance, Alix shoves Flameout away, saying she told him to stay in the back. Flameout looks saddened, but then continues to help her up, giving her a boost up onto the apron. Alix yells to him that she doesn't need any help, but suddenly goes flying off the apron again, this time because Scotty whipped Krista into her! Flameout's heart sinks at his fatal error, as Krista staggers into a small package from Scotty Static! ONE! TWO!! THREE!!! CABOOSE Finally, we can get back to some REAL action! COACH Stop hatin', playa. That was some good stuff right there! CABOOSE You must be smokin' the good stuff, then. "Make Her Say" starts up, as Johnny and Scotty celebrate their advancement into the semi-finals tonight. Krista sits up, aggrivated as all hell, and rolls out of the ring, where Flameout is trying to get Alix to her feet. Krista comes over and slaps him across the face, berating him right in front of the fans. Instead of him, Krista is the one to help Alix up, and the two Chicks Over Dicks teammates storm off, leaving Flameout to follow behind like a lost puppy dog. COLE I'll be he wishes he still had Northstar to follow around. What he did for him seems like child's play compared to those two jaded souls. COACH Hey, I'll follow them...especially into the showers. COLECoach, they've had it with men. CABOOSE Which is precisely why they'll love young Jonathan here. COACH Hell yea...WAIT!! (Caboose and Coach have a slap fight) COLE Folks, Josh Matthews is looking for Zack Malibu. Let’s go backstage. Backstage, our cameras follow JOSH~! as he walks down the halls of the arena. JOSH OK guys, just come down here with me. This is gonna be my shining moment as a journalist, I can feel it. Matthews walks a little further, and comes to a stop at the dressing room door of Zack Malibu. Fans in the arena can be heard popping once the door with Zack's name on it is visible on screen. Matthews knocks, and just a few seconds later, it's answered by none other than the Zack Attack himself. MALIBU What's up, Josh? JOSH Zack, a few questions for you, if you've got the time. MALIBU Josh, I've got a title match tonight, so let's make this quick, OK? JOSH Already then, if that's how it's gotta be, then let's hit the hard ones first, shall we. MALIBU Shoot. JOSH OK. Zack, can you explain to us why you did what you did this past Sunday? Malibu hesitates. He eyes Josh, confused. MALIBU Why I did...what? JOSH You know, the match with Sly. The chain. That whole deal. MALIBU Oh. OK, I get it. You want to know why Zack Malibu, the pride of the company, had to resort to a cheapshot to win, right? JOSH Well, yeah. MALIBU You know, it amazes me, that when the going gets tough, who's the one who gets called on? Me. I've played savior to this company for so long, and when someone gets personal with me and I decide to fight fire with fire, then it has something to do with my attitude? Are you kidding me? I've been beaten, spit on, sent through tables, glass, thrown off ladders, choked out, nearly run over...sometimes I think I'm lucky to be alive. Then some punk kid starts making up stories, trying to run my name into the ground while I'm trying to elevate this company, and it turns into a personal war over the defamation of my character, and because I use a chain WHICH, I might add, he brought into the ring, I'M the one that people are second guessing? Josh Matthews, please. I've got an important match tonight. All I know is that Crystal asked for a shot, I've given it to her, and tonight, all my talking will be done in that ring, OK? JOSH Well, sure Zack, but... Josh gets cut off by the door slamming in his face. He sighs. JOSH Ah, crap. Take it back, Sofa Central.

(Return from break) BUFFER The following contest, is the second round of the OAOAST Tag Team Title tournament. The winner will advance to the finals. Introducing first... The crowd boos as the first few notes of "No Chance In Hell" plays. BUFFER From Miami, Florida, Vitamin X. His partner, from Tiajuna, Mexico, the Spanish Fly. Together they are apart of one of the most feared stables in wrestling today. Ladies and gentlemen, I give to you The Lightning Crew! COLE Who do you guys like in this match? CABOOSE Isn't it obvious? COACH Da Coach don't know, MC. TLC are faster and like to use the top rope as a weapon. While Black T would prefer to keep TLC grounded, they know how to adapt. TLC must use their speed to their advantage, it's the only way I can see them winning. Hit a quick double team move and get the pin. I doubt they'd be able to do anything more due to their lack of size. COLE Caboose, there have been many times in the past where one guy seemed like the odds on favorite, only to lose. You wrestle to win the match. You're awfully pro-T-Bod/Dan Black. CABOOSE Hey, when Tony was running the show, he paid good money. And I love money -- especially American money. Watts came in and tighted everything up. And Abe -- well, come on, the man's a reject from "Night of the Living Dead." They wanted actors to play the roles, not an actually walking corpse. COLE Of course, the winner advances to the Finals where they'll compete for the vacant OAOAST Tag Team Championship. Black T defeated the Rave & Assault Squad to advance. TLC defeated-- "Quiet" kicks up to a mixture of cheers and boos. BUFFER Their opponents, introducing first, from London, weighting 243lbs -- "The Ice Heart," Daaaaaaaaaan BLACK! His partner, from Hollywood U.S.A., he's "Simply Ravishing" -- T-Bod! Collectively known as Black T! * DING DING DING * Dan & Tony waste no time, they want the titles so bad they run to the run. TLC meet 'em head-on. They exchange punches around the ring. A chop-fest insues between T-Bod and Viatiam X. Dan irish whips Spanish Fly into the ropes, he ducks an attempted clothesline but runs right into his fellow TLC partner, sending him out of the ring. SF ducks another clothesline, this time by T-Bod. He slides underneath Dan's legs, all the way to the bottom rope. He then perches the top rope like a bird and delivers a beautiful missle dropkick, sending both Dan and Tony down to the mat and eventually outside the ring. Black T are attempting to regroup outside when they look up and see 4' 9" Spanish Fly corkscrewing in midair onto them. Surprising, the fans cheer the normally hated TLC. The "root for the underdog" factor is kicking in. There's no way anybody could of predicted the dominance -- and yes, it is dominance -- TLC would have early on. VX joins his partner inside the ring, where they high-five and notice the crowd cheering them. They may be getting cheered but they aren't getting soft, as SF flips off the crowd. Both teams regroup in their respective corners. For the first time, this match will now occur inside the ring. T-Bod & Vitamin X will start it off for their teams. VX mockingly showcases an array of poses, and tells T-Bod, "Because I'm just THAT much better than YOU!" T-Bod couldn't be bothered less, as he makes a "0" with his hand, pointing out how many times VX has been World's Champion. VX slaps the turnbuckle in frustration. The two lock up. They jockey for position. Nothing. No man would be budge. CABOOSE Could somebody tell me if we went back into the '80s. I tried wiping my eyes, but I'm not 3 years-old, and T-Bod & Vitamin X aren't Hulk Hogan & Andre The Giant. COLE A little test of strength coming on. Those two are the most powerful members of their team. They lock up again, this time T-Bod sends a knee to VX's gut. He nods his head in approval of his actions, before throwing VX into his (Black T's) corner. The crowd "wooooo's" after every knife-edge chop. The referee tries to make T-Bod let VX out of the corner but he's having none of it. T-Bod finally steps back after unleashing a fury of rights, lefts, and chops. But there's another reason as well. As the referee pushes Tony back to make sure he gives VX his space, it allows Dan to choke him with the tag team rope connected to the ringpost. When the referee turns back around, not before getting an ear full from Spanish Fly, Dan casually takes a step back onto the steel steps, as if saying "Hey, I'm doing nothing wrong. I'm getting away from him." T-Bod tags in Dan Black. CABOOSE I love what they're doing -- they're weakening the strongest man on TLC, which will make Spanish Fly easy-pickens. Dan uses the advantage they have of VX in their corner, as he works over VX's midsection with forearm and knee shots, followed by Dusty Rhodesesque "Bonic Elbow." Dan slaps VX around his head and asks, "Who's better now? Huh? Who's better?" Dan places X's head under his arm, suplex on the way. No. Vitamin X is fighting it off. Dan tries to let him up again, but X wraps his leg around Dan's and delivers a suplex of his own -- his signatured SNAP SUPLEX at that. 1... 2... T-Bod breaks up the count by nailing a double axe-handle across X's back. VX tags in Spanish Fly, who comes in a house on fire. Spinwheel kick sends Dan down. T-Bod gets back in the ring and stares at SF. The two look at each other for a few seconds, then, like a showdown at the O.K. Corral -- only without guns -- they run towards each other....RUNNING FRANKENSTEINER by SF! When SF gets up, he gets hammered with a vicious clothesline by Dan Black. Frustrated by TLC's competitiveness, Dan begins choking, punching and kicking a hurting SF. The referee can't get Black to break the choke hold peacefully so he begins the dreaded 5 count. Dan breaks on 4, right on cue he tags in his partner. T-Bod picks SF up like a ragdoll and swings around the ring by his head. VX jumps into the ring to help his partner but T-Bod throws SF into him. Dan & Tony get a big laugh out of this. T-Bod military press slams SF. SF connects with a weak punch. T-Bod laughs, he knows this is almost over. All of a sudden, his eyes get wide. The camera pulls back to reveal SF's arm between T-Bod's legs, he connected with a low blow. T-Bod drops to his knees, while SF crawls to his corner. COLE Spanish Fly with a lucky break. Now can he make the tag? As SF gets closer to his corner, T-Bod grabs his ankle in an attempt to keep him from making the tag. SF uses his free leg to kick T-Bod in the face, giving him enough time to make the tag! Down goes T-Bod. Dan comes in, and he too goes down, courtesy of a back bodydrop. VX & T-Bod exchange chops. X ducks a right hand and nails a FLOATOVER DDT! 1... 2... Dan breaks up the pin. Out of nowhere SF comes off the top with his trademark FLYING CROSSBODY BLOCK, but Dan gets out of the way, letting SF get a face full of canvas. Then Dan grabs him and sends him head first into VX, hitting him in the stomach. T-Bod lifts up VX and nails THE OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE! 1... 2... 3! * DING DING DING DING * BUFFER The winners of the match, advancing to the Finals of the tag team title tournament...Dan Black & T-Bod! COLE There you have it. T-Bod & Dan Black have advanced into the finals. At one point it looked like TLC may of had a shot, but at the end the experience of T-Bod & Dan Black -- COACH Black T! COLE (CONT'D) ...was just too much. That was one of the quickest matches tonight, so that fares well for Dan & Tony, as they didn't have to spend a great amount of energy. They're off to the finals. We'll be back. COACH We’ll see who they face after this break! (Go to break)

The cameras cut to a shot of Abe Vigoda in his office, sorting through some papers. A man in a business suit is sitting across the room, a briefcase on his lap. MAN Mr. Vigoda, we've got to go over these numbers. ABE What? You said yourself business was good. MANWell, sure...but it could always be better. Advertising, merchandising...there's so much more we could do. And with IntenseZone off the air, we need to increase profits. Abe pages through a few sheets of paper. ABE Bah. You handle that stuff, sonny boy. It's what I pay you for, right? MAN Well, yes, but-- ABE Then get to work, eh? The man looks perturbed as he gets up from his chair. He turns to leave, walks to the door, when suddenly, the door busts open, flinging hte man into the nearby wall. Hoff storms in the room, looking angry. Hoff walks up to the desk and slams his hands down, leaning over the desk as Abe's papers get strewn all across the desk. ABE Sonny, what the hell's the matter with you? HOFF I want a match with St. Andrew. TONIGHT. Abe looks up at Hoff and straightens his papers. ABE Okay. A cheer goes up from the crowd watching on the video wall. Hoff takes his hands off the desk and begins pacing. HOFF Listen, Abe, if you don't give me this match I'm going to-- wait, what? Hoff whirls around to face a smiling Abe. ABE Bad hearing, sonny? Maybe you should try one of these. Abe pulls a crusty hearing aid out of his ear. Hoff shrinks back slightly. ABE Listen boy, I saw what them boys pulled on Sunday. It wasn't right, and damned if you're not entitled to a little revenge. You go out there and have your match tonight. Hoff looks at Abe for a second, and smiles. He turns to leave, but Abe stops him. ABE Listen, kid. You've got a lot of potential, anyone can see that clear as day. But you better start getting some results, hear? Hoff's expression turns dark as the man in the business suit starts to regain his feet. Hoff levels a glare at Vigoda, then turns, pushes the man in the business suit out of his way, and storms out of the room. MAN Aw son of a... Abe's gaze lingers on the door after Hoff leaves. ABE Hope that boy doesn't kill someone. (Go to the arena) COACH At Living Anglelously, two men concluded a feud that many feel to be the greatest rivalry that the OAOAST has ever seen. CABOOSE Well, it was ONE of the best…..I don’t know if I would go as far as to say THE best. Clearly, I’ve had some feuds that….. COACH On Sunday, the Mad Cappa and Puerto Rican Lightning fought “One More Time.” And ladies and gentlemen, as impossible as it may sound, this might have been the best match in their entire series. Just when you thought they couldn’t top themselves, they somehow managed to. Roll that shizzinit, homies. *Highlights of The Mad Cappa/Puerto Rican Lightning match from Living Anglelously are shown on the AngleTron, set to the sounds of high-tempo opera music. It starts with both men staring at each other…… Cappa flips off Tha Puerto Rican and Irish Whips him into a turnbuckle. P.R. does a Flair Flip onto the ring apron……. Cappa kicks P.R. in the face, stomping a mudhole into him…...As Cappa corners Heat, P.R. shows up and lowblows Cappa….. P.R. heads to the ropes…and does a Five Knuckle Shuffle onto Cappa…… P.R. goes for a clothesline, but Cappa ducks, and gives P.R. The Fall From Grace to a loud pop…… Cappa whips P.R. to the ropes. Cappa puts his head down, so P.R. grabs him and gives him a Dangerous DDT…. P.R. hits the F-U Elbow Drop…… Cappa charges, but P.R. backdrops him out of the ring to a loud pop….. P.R. leaps over the top rope and onto The Mad Cappa with a springboard Shooting Star Press….. Cappa does a side swinging moonsault onto Tha Puerto Rican…. Cappa places P.R. between his legs and brings him down with the Cappabomb. 1,2, KICKOUT…… Cappa gives P.R.L. the BUST-A-CAP THROUGH A TABLE….. P.R.L. hits the P.R. Nightmare….. Colombian Heat picks up the Puerto Rican title, preparing to hit Cappa. The Mad Cappa ducks…and Colombian Heat hits Tha Puerto Rican with the old Puerto Rican Championship belt…… Colombian Heat starts counting, but then stops. Instead, Heat gives The Mad Cappa two middle fingers…… Abe Vigoda just KNOCKED DOWN COLOMBIAN HEAT WITH ONE PUNCH….. Cappa hits the Bust-A-Cap, and P.R.L. goes flipping around the ring….. Cappa makes the cover. 1……2……3!!!!!! The video package ends with Cappa standing triumphantly in the ring, holding both title belts in his hand* COACH Once again, what an amazing match this turned out to be. Let’s get down to Michael Cole, who’s in the ring for a special interview. *The camera cuts to Cole standing the ring* COLE Ladies and gentlemen, as you just saw, The Mad Cappa and Puerto Rican Lightning had a match at Living Anglelously that can’t be considered anything less than a classic. However, after it was all said and done, one man stood victorious in the ring, holding both versions of the Puerto Rican Championships. After a series of grueling matches and even a wild plunge off a bridge, this man still had the strength and the courage to come out triumphant in the end. In fact, this man now has the strength and the courage, after it all, to come out here and address his fans. Fans, please give a warm welcome to our Undisputed OAOAST Puerto Rican Champion……..THE MAD CAPPA!!!! *1,2,3! Hit It!* *“Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Reunion Mix)” blasts over the loudspeakers as The Mad Cappa walks out of the entranceway to a thunderous reaction from the crowd. With the newly-created OAOAST Puerto Rican Title around his waist, he slowly walks down to ringside with a smile on his face. Confetti begins to stream from the rafters, and a large supply of ballons start to slowly waft towards the ground. Along the way, Cappa makes sure to slap hands with some of the fans calling for his attention. Once at the bottom of the ramp, he makes his way around the ring just so he could greet more people in the audience. Finally, after taking a walk around the entire ring, he steps through the ropes and holds his arms up for the crowd. A chant of “CAPPA! CAPPA!” begins to boom throughout the arena, and even Michael Cole is starting to look a little surprised at the response. Finally, after about a minute of nothing but the crowd cheering, Cappa begins to speak into the microphone* CAPPA So……are you people saying that you like me? *Once again, the crowd explodes with cheers and constant chants of “CAPPA! CAPPA!” This goes on for nearly another minute, until the audience finally calms down and lets The Mad Cappa begin to talk* CAPPA Man, I really…..I really can’t tell you how much this response means to me……I just can’t. Thanks a lot, guys. *The people in the crowd begin to clap for The Mad Cappa once again.* CABOOSE Oh god, this is sickening. Yes, he had an awesome match at Living Anglelously. But do we need to see this ego-stroking? I hate conceited, arrogant people….and that’s EXACTLY what the Mad Cappa has become. COACH What are you talking about?! He’s finally having his moment in the sun after fighting so hard in his rivalry with P.R.L. Let him enjoy it! CABOOSE I would……but do you really want vomit all over your shoes? CAPPA Man…….at this point, I’m just a little overwhelmed, you know? And that doesn’t usually happen to me. After I beat Puerto Rican Lightning at AngleMania III, in front of 74,000 fans at the Pontiac Silverdome…..I didn’t know if that moment could ever be topped. It was just amazing. But then, last Sunday, the unbelievable happened. I managed….to top that feeling. I went out there…..I overcame all the odds……kicked PRL’s ass……did it all despite the fact that Colombian Heat was the referee……I did EVERY SINGLE THING I needed to do in order to prove I was the best once again. And….I did it. And now, as a result, I stand before all of you STILL THE OAOAST PUERTO RICAN CHAMPION!!! *Again, the fans erupt with chants of “CAPPA! CAPPA!” as he takes the title belt off his waist and holds it up to the crowd for a couple of seconds. Finally, he begins to speak again* CAPPA So now…..I’m left here waiting. Despite being handcuffed and tortured with a taser…..despite being thrown off a bridge…..despite suffering bloody beatdowns that could end another man’s career…..I am still here. And I am here with something Puerto Rican Lightning does not have. I proved to that son of a bitch, without a doubt, that I could beat him…..and, at this point, the issue’s CLOSED! It’s finished. That piece of garbage he once called a title has been destroyed. It’s gone. Never again will that trash stain the reputation of the Puerto Rican Title…..because, and I swear, I will do my absolute damndest to fix what P.R.L. nearly destroyed. By doing what I do best, I will make those guys in the back notice this damn title and notice who the damn champion is….OR I’LL DIE TRYING!! *The fans, clearly moved by the intensity of Cappa over this subject, stand up and start to wildly applause. Once again, The Mad Cappa holds the title over his head, soaking in the cheers of the fans* CABOOSE Oh god, I’m going to be sick. Somebody get me some Tylenol or something. Quickly. COACH Well, Boose, that won’t really help you with an upset stomach. Tylenol is more for that fever or headache type of crowd. For an upset stomach or possible vomiting, I would recommend… CABOOSE Christ, Coach, you’re not helping the situation. Cappa’s ego has grown completely out of control and somebody needs to stop it. Somebody needs to……..YES!!! Woke Up This Morning Got Yourself A Gun Mama Always Said You’d Be The Chosen One *The fans begin to rowdily boo as Drek Stone casually walks through the curtains, glaring at The Mad Cappa standing in the ring. Tonight, Drek’s dressed in a classic-type of suit. Black jacket, white shirt, black tie, polished black shoes…..it’s obvious that he has once again taken an inane amount of time to fix his appearance. He stands at the top of the ramp for a few seconds with a microphone in his hand, staring over the fans that have begun chanting “ASSHOLE!” at him* DREK What……the hell……is this?! WHAT……THE HELL…..IS GOING ON?! *Drek punts a nearby balloon into the crowd* DREK Are you friggin kidding me?! The absolute DISRESPECT that people around here show me. Who the HELL ARE YOU to deserve this kind of recognition?! CAPPA ……are you talking to me? DREK You’re damn right I’m talking to you. What have you done to deserve all this? What is your major accomplishment?! Using an INSANE amount of luck to beat that Puerto Rican guy?! Having an 85-year-old man with a forever-floundering movie career knock down the guest referee? Are these your accomplishments?! Are these things responsible for bringing you that TITLE…..and this CONFETTI…..and these BALLOONS….you know what? I never realized the OAOAST was in this much trouble!! *At this point, the crowd seems to be divided. One half of the crowd starts chanting “Drek Stone Sucks!” while the other half begin to scream “CAPPA! CAPPA!”* CAPPA Are you done with your rant? Are you done with your stupid whining? DREK Am I done? Oh no, you better believe I’m not. It’s time for you to shut your mouth. This way, you might learn something, you STUPIDO SORCA!! CAPPA ….oh really? You know what? I think I’m tired of listening to your whiny BITCHING! Walk your goombah ass to this ring, so I could quickly end what you’ve started. *The fans start cheering, excited at the idea of The Mad Cappa getting his hands on Drek* DREK Like I’m going to walk down to that ring tonight. You can forget it. And these moronic GAVONES could forget it as well. *The fans jeer Drek as he intensely stares at Cappa in the ring. Meanwhile, Cappa stares straight back at him.* DREK Guess what, Cappa…..you’re next on my list. I promised that, when I came here, I would make a rapid climb to the top and grab the OAOAST Heavyweight Championship. Yet, along the way, I would stop to take care of some business first. To clear the OAOAST of dead weight and guys that are just way more trouble than they’re worth. And guess where I’ve stopped now. To me, you’ve proven absolutely nothing. You get a huge parade when you walk down to the ring with that title. What do I get?! For my unsurpassed technical skills, lightning-quick aerial attacks, amazingly strong power expertise, unbelievable ring knowledge, perfect body, strikingly handsome features…….just what do I get?! I KICKED DAMARAMU’S ASS LAST SUNDAY…..HELL, I NEARLY ENDED HIS CAREER!! I PUMMELED HIM ALL AROUND WASHINGTON D.C….AND EVERYONE HERE KNOWS IT!!! CABOOSE You tell him, Drek. Brother speaks the truth. COACH I must have been watching a completely different match then. The way I remember it, Drek won by countout thanks to a particular Ryan Smith. CABOOSE He won….BECAUSE of Ryan Smith? Yeah, you must have been watching the wrong match then. DREK And after all this, what did I get?! I got NONE of this. No confetti…..no balloons. Tonight, you got everything for absolutely nothing. And I got nothing for ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING THAT I DID!! Huge mistakes have been made…..and I promise, I am going to correct them. Starting with you…..and the title around your shoulder. *The fans once again begin to chant “Drek Stone Sucks” as a long pause and staredown are exchanged between the two men. Finally, after a short while, Cappa starts to talk* CAPPA Drek…..I’m not like you. I’m not one to sit here and let my mouth do the talking. Come fight me whenever you want. WHENEVER!! And I will do the exact same thing to YOU that I did to Puerto Rican Lightning. DREK Yeah, well…. CAPPA The…..EXACT…….SAME…….THING……..just name the place. *Both men share another brief share, until Cappa drops the microphone onto the mat. He walks to the ring ropes to get a closer at Drek. They lock eyes with another for a few more seconds, until Drek begins to slowly walk backwards with a smirk on his face. He begins to nod his head slowly, with a small grin on his face, until he disappears into the entranceway* CABOOSE Finally! It’s time for Drek Stone to get what’s coming to him! He’s gone without gold for too long…..and The Mad Cappa is going to be the one to give it to him! COACH Did you even HEAR Cappa speak tonight? If he plans to do the same things to Drek that he did to P.R.L…….how can Drek ever expect to win? CABOOSE…….this isn’t a time to worry about details. All you need to know is that Drek is a man on a mission. COACH Whatever happened to them anyway? Oscar was off-the-hook when it came to rapping. CABOOSE …..you mind doing that disappearing trick again tonight? *Michael Cole walks up to the announcing booth, grabbing a headset at the end* COLE Hey guys, did you see what just happened in the ring? CABOOSE No, Cole. I made sure to temporarily blind myself first so I would miss what’s going on. COACH Hey Mikey, do you remember Men on a Mission? COLE Of course. Damn that Mabel! And DAMN that Drek Stone for interfering with this ceremony tonight! Damn him, and I hope he gets what’s coming to him. CABOOSE Oh, don’t worry. I’m sure he will……and it will come to him in gold. COLE We’ll be back with the semi final matches after this! (Go to break)

(Return from break) *all of the lights in the arena go out as the funeral bells begin to gong. Suddenly the Ministry of Darkness begins to play as two green headlights shine from the entrance way. They start to strobe as green smoke billows onto the stage. The fans all stand as Damaramu wearing his street clothes and a black cowboy hat appears on the stage. Dama looks around with his pupil-less eyes and then makes his slow walk to the ring. The fans boo as Dama continues to slowly walk with his hair hanging in his face out from under the cowboy hat.* COLE Damaramu out here looking mighty pissed. COACH Oh god....I thought maybe he'd shut up. CABOOSE Why shouldn't he be pissed!? That damn Ryan Smith cost him the match against Drek Stone! COACH I thought you said Drek won it fair and square? Double standard? CABOOSE I mean.....well......Drek....hehehe.......AND THEN! COACH God....... CABOOSE And then Ryan Smith cost The Cult their match against two chicks! Skull Mask could've eaten those two chicks for breakfast! As a matter of fact let's not forget what Damaramu did to Alix a few months ago! He sent her ass packing to the hospital and there wasn't a damn thing she could do about it! *Damaramu is now in the ring holding the microphone as the house lights go back up. He surveys the crowd before raising the microphone to speak.* DAMARAMU Last Sunday, Drek Stone attained a countout victory over me. Tonight two skirts attained a pinfall victory over my Cult! And why did we lose these matches? Because Drek Stone was better than me? HAH! Because these two chicks could actually stand up to The Cult? HAH! Because Drek Stone was meaner than me? HAH! Because these girls were tough? HAH! I beat Alix all by myself and I beat her within an inch of her life. As a matter of fact I could probably take both those bitches out by myself...easily. Hell Mask could do it to! So were they better? HAH! Was Drek better? I repeat........FUCKING HAH! We lost these matches because of one man.....Ryan Smith...and I tell you.....I couldn't be happier. *The fans stop looking confused at what was just said.* COLE/CABOOSE/COACH HUH!?!?!? DAMARAMU You see...Ryan I remember the night after Anglemania when you ran into that bitch Zack Malibu in the back and you told him that you had a feeling it wasn't over. Then I run into you at the pay per view on Sunday and I remind you......that it's not over. Because Ryan I thought you'd forgotten. But when you interfered that night...I knew I'd struck a cord with you! When you came and cost my boys a match against those broads...I knew you'd not forgotten! Ryan I am so happy that you have not forgotten! Because it won't be over....not until one of us can't ever walk again. *The fans begin to boo as Damaramu stops and stares at the camera intently. Suddenly the wild boo's turn into wild cheers as The OU Fight Song begins to play. Ryan Smith runs out on the stage pumping his fist to the crowd as the fans go nuts. Smith stops at the top of the entrance ramp and looks down on Damaramu standing in the ring. Smith jogs his way to the ring and slides in before coming face to face with Damaramu. Both men stare one another down as the fans all stand in unison going nuts that these two great athletes are meeting in the ring once again. Smith breaks the staredown however and grabs a microphone.* SMITH Dama.....I have not forgotten. I will never forget you or the hatred between us. I knew it'd drive you crazy to lose to Drek Stone. So I made sure that'd happen. I knew it'd drive your boys crazy to lose to two broad's that couldn't hold there jock strap and lose there chances at the tag titles! So I made sure that happened. Dama I am going to continue to attack you and your boys until your entire god damn Cult is gone. And if that means causing you to lose matches to old ladies to where you get so embarassed that you have to leave......then so be it! If that means tossing your ass into the Hudson river......then so be it! But mark my words.......you are a dead man. *Smith comes face to face with Dama again.* DAMA You forgot one thing Ryan. I have the numbers advantage. *Smith turns and punches Skull Kid down who just ran into the ring and then spins around and begins to give Damaramu some hard shots to the face backing him up to the ropes. Smith tries to irish whip Damaramu but it's reversed, Smith comes back and ducks the clothesline only to be tackled by Skull Mask who has just entered the ring! Smith goes down and tries to fight up but all 3 men swarm on him unloading with clubbing forearms and kicks. Smith is getting beaten down before Dama backs his boys off.* COLE This is sick! CABOOSE Did you not here that!? They lost to some god damn chicks because of Smith! He lost to some god damn rookie because of Smith! *Caboose whispers* If you're listening Drek I love you and think you're the greatest newcomer in the history of OAOAST.* *Dama pulls Smith up and then delivers a rolling elbow that takes him right back down! Kid enters the ring holding a steel chair as Dama pulls Smith up and hands him to Skull Mask who promptly delivers a hard Helicopter Sit out powerbomb! Dama pulls Smith up and then suddenly hits the ropes and delivers a high swinging sleeper drop.....Smith's own finishing move! Dama pulls Smith back up and Skull Kid grabs him lifting him high and then delivering a Michinoku Driver right on the chair! Dama grabs the chair out from under Smith and orders The Cult to lift him.* COLE Oh come on! *The Cult picks Smith up and Damaramu brings the chair up high before bringing it straight down on Smith's head! The Cult continues to hold Smith as Damaramu delivers the chiar shot not once more.......but three more times! The chair is practically mangled as Damaramu pulls it away from the bloody Smith's head! The Cult grabs Smith and tosses him out of the ring to the arena floor.* DAMA And stay the hell out of my ring. *The Ministry music hits once more as all three Cult of Damaramu members raise there arms in victory and slowly walk around the ring while green light bathes the ring.* COLE As a collective unit they're just as dangerous as the Lightening Crew! COACH Who will stop them? CABOOSE Certainly not Ryan Smith....at least by himself......... *The Cult continues there stoic celebration while Smith lays in a pool of his own blood on the arena floor.* FADE TO BLACK (Go to break) ::The scene opens backstage, where we see Tina sitting in her dressing room wearing her wedding gown, complete with veil, white gloves, stockings and shoes. She has a somber look on her face as she sits with her forearms resting on her thighs. Suddenly, the dressing room door slides open and... ???: SURPRISE! Tina: (startled) Wha...Chris?! ::The camera pans over to the door, where we se Chris Bryte standing, clad in a tackey-looking grey tux (with a white t-shirt, burgandy cumberbun and a yellow clip-on bow-tie) and white shoes, and carrying a bouquet of roses. He walks over to where Tina's seated, hands her the roses and gives her a kiss on the cheek:: Bryte: Hello Mrs. Bryte! Tina: Uh...hey Chris...what are you doing here? You know it's bad luck to see each other before the wedding... Bryte: Ah, nuts to that! That's just silly superstition! And besides...I couldn't stand being away from you another minute! C'mere... ::Bryte pulls Tina close to him and gives her a big hug and another kiss on the cheek. Tina has a distant look in her eyes, which Bryte notices. He draws back from her:: Bryte: What's wrong? Tina: Huh? Bryte: Seems like something's bothering you. You're not getting cold feet, are you? Tina: Me? No! No... Bryte: Then what's wrong? Tina: Well...(sighs) Chris, I just can't stop thinking about the match with Panther Sunday night. Bryte: Oh, is that all? (smiles) Yeah, it was great, wasn't it? Me kicking Panther's ass all over the ring! WHAM! POW! BOOM! HAHA! Tina: Uh...yeah. ::Tina pauses, seemingly in deep thought. She continues:: Tina: It's just...well...Chris...those moves you were doing. Bryte: What about them? Tina: I mean...the karate stuff...all the submissions...Chris, three weeks ago, you could barely throw a punch right, and suddenly out of nowhere, you're coming up with all of this stuff...what gives? Bryte: Um...well... Tina: And that guy who attacked Panther before the match. You weren't... Bryte: NO! Of course not! Honest to God, Tina, I have never seen that man before in my life! (Tina shoots him a cynical look) What?! You don't believe me?! You think I would lie to you, Tina?! On our wedding night?! Tina: Chris...I honestly don't know what to believe anymore. Bryte: But you've gotta believe this! I don't know that guy, I've never seen him before, and even if I had, I would NEVER associate myself with a lunatic like that! I mean...you saw that guy! He was out of his freakin' mind! Tina: Well...yeah... Bryte: And as far as the moves go...(sighs) Tina, if you must know...I've been trained in Judo. I'm a 4th degree black belt. Tina: Really? Bryte: Yes...really. Tina: Well then, Chris, why didn't you tell me?! Damn it, we're getting married! How could you keep something like this from me?! Bryte:...it slipped my mind. ::Tina's visibly angry and starts to get up, but Bryte wraps his arms around her and pushes her back down into her seat:: Bryte: Ok, Ok, Ok! I admit, I was wrong for not telling you about the Judo thing! But I was gonna tell you eventually...honest! ::Bryte leans over to give her another kiss on the cheek, but Tina moves away from him. He looks somewhat agitated:: Bryte: Tina...(sighs) please, don't be mad. This is a big night for us...our wedding night...this is supposed to be the happiest night of our lives. So I didn't tell you about my years of Judo training. It was wrong, but so what?! I'm only human! We all make mistakes at some point in our lives! But Tina, one thing that I'm sure of is that the feelings I have for you...they're no mistake! What we're doing here tonight isn't a mistake! The day I first laid my eyes on you, I knew that we were soulmates, and I knew on that day that I was destined to spend the rest of my life with you! (wipes a tear) Tina, I love you more than anything in the world! More than life itself! Tina: I love you too, Chris. You know I do. Bryte: Well then let's put all of this stuff behind us and let's go get married. Huh? ::Tina looks at Bryte long and hard as he stands before her with a silly grin on his face, with his arms extended as he asks for a hug. Slowly, the angry look on her face softens and transforms into a smile. She rises from her seat, gives Bryte a big hug, and they kiss:: Tina: You're not keeping anything else from me, are you? Bryte: Well...I've got a fake ass, if you must know... Tina: (gasps) You're kidding, right? Bryte:...of course! I was kidding! Tina: (giggles) Silly. C'mon, let's go! ::Bryte wraps his arm around Tina and the two head toward the door, with Tina exiting first and Bryte following behind her. Bryte's ass falls just as they make their exit, with neither or them noticing. After it lies on the floor for a moment or two, Bryte scrambles back into the room and retrieves his ass. He looks up at the camera and holds his index finger up to his mouth (signalling for the fans to "SHHHH!"), before flexing his eyebrows and leaving once more. Slight boos can be heard from the arena as we fade out.::

(Return from break) CUE: “No Chance in Hell” by Bradley Boyds COLE Another First Round Tag Tournament Matchup right now! The crowd begins to boo as Vitamin X and Spanish Fly appear at the top of the ramp, X decked out in a Lightning Crew Football Jersey and Dark Blue Sweatpants, and Spanish Fly in red baggy pants and Black Lightning Crew T-Shirt. CABOOSE Now here’s my pick to go all the way! These guys are your next Tag Champs right here! COACH What makes you so sure? CABOOSE These guys have all the tools. Vitamin X provides the sound technical strategy, and Spanish Fly is the high Flyer. These guys can go all the way! BUFFER Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is a first round match in the OAOAST Tag Team Championship Tournament, scheduled for one fall with a Thirty Minute time limit. Introducing team number one, at a combined weight of four hundred and forty-seven pounds, representing The Lightning Crew, the team of Spanish Fly, and VITAMIN X! The crowd dies down as they wait for the two opponents to enter the arena. A small ‘A-J!’ chant can be heard amongst the now-fading music of the Lightning Crew. CUE: ‘Man in the Box’ by Alice in Chains COLE Here they come! A THUNDEROUS pop erupts as the music of the re-united friends starts. AJ Flaire suddenly appears, both belts around his waist, and greets the crowd, running from one side of the stage to the other. He struts halfway down the ramp, before putting his hand up as if he had forgotten something, and doing the nWo double finger-point at the entrance curtain. On cue, Gunner Sharps appears at the ramp, and looks to be slightly favoring his left leg. CABOOSE Gunner is still injured from last Sunday, when Axel decimated his leg en route to a submission victory! COLE That may be correct Caboose, but you’re forgetting two things: there was a steel chair involved, and Gunner had the three count, but the referee was knocked out by Axel. CABOOSE Details, details, Cole. That doesn’t erase the win from the record books. AJ struts down the ramp further, with Gunner behind him. AJ hops up onto the apron and steps between the ropes into the ring, while Gunner walks up the ring steps and strides over the top rope. Vitamin X and Spanish Fly leave the ring, as the lights go down, and AJ takes the belts from around his waist. AJ and Gunner get in the centre of the ring, AJ goes down in a Shawn Michaels Pose and Holds his belts up in each arm, and Gunner goes behind AJ, thrusting both fists into the air as pyro shoots from each turnbuckle. CABOOSE Can you say ‘rip-off’? COLE Can you say ‘parody e-fed’? COACH Can you say… oh wait, forget it. BUFFER And introducing team number two, from Detroit Michigan, at a total combined weight of five hundred and seventy pounds, the team of Gunner Sharps and the UNDISPUTED OAOAST X DIVISION CHAMPION… AYYYYYY JAAYYYYYYY FLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIREEEEEEEE!! Gunner steps out of the ring and grabs the tag rope, and Vitamin X hops up onto the apron and grabs the other rope. Spanish Fly slides into the ring, and starts talking to Vitamin X, while AJ gives his belts to the referee, and climbs the turnbuckles and plays to the crowd. COLE Two smaller, faster wrestlers starting off this match, I expect that we should see some high flying antics with these two guys. CABOOSE AJ cannot afford to take Spanish Fly lightly. As I said, I’ve seen this guy in action on IntenseZone, as well as tapes from his career in Mexico. He is a pocket-rocket, and AJ has to realise that. Both of these guys can be great technicians, but both have their advantages. For AJ, it’s his psychology, focusing in on a body part and working on it to the point that his opponent has to give up. For Spanish Fly, it’s his quickness and agility. If he can hit both of his opponents from the air and stay away from the power moves, especially when up against Gunner Sharps, then he can get the advantage. Both men circle the ring and size each other up, before AJ stops as another huge “A-J! A-J!” chant roars through the arena yet again. Spanish Fly seems agitated at the chant, and flips the crowd off again to another barrage of loud boos. AJ sees this and taunts Spanish Fly again, climbing to the turnbuckles and playing to the crowd a second time. COACH I agree totally Caboose; these two guys have different styles, but the thing is, AJ can work fast, and Spanish Fly can work a ground based style if he wants to. They have interchangeable styles, but both have a favourite style, which they have to focus on. COLE Experience could be the key for AJ as well. Both these guys are eighteen years of age, but AJ Flaire has been wrestling night-in, night-out for the best part of six months here in the OAOAST. Spanish Fly has only been in the company four months, and has only competed a handful of times. CABOOSE Yeah, but he’s hungry. IntenseZone didn’t have the opportunities that HeldDown now has. Spanish Fly has the opportunity to become a Tag Champion tonight, and he shouldn’t pass it up. COLE In any event, Spanish Fly is getting sick of all the showboating that A Flaire is doing, I think he just wants to get the match started. COACH AJ is getting in the head of Spanish Fly to start this contest off. He is showboating to the crowd; he is putting Spanish Fly off his game. Mind games from the X Champion. AJ climbs off the turnbuckles again, and faces Spanish Fly, who is now visibly pissed off and edgy. The two men circle the ring again, and AJ Flaire makes a motion with his hands for Spanish Fly to ‘come on’, and come on he does as the two men go into a collar and elbow tie up. AJ and Fly both jockey for position, but AJ uses his leverage advantage to break the hold and go into a side headlock. AJ takes Fly to ground with a headlock still applied, Fly forces AJ’s arms away and kips up and the two stand ready again. COLE Both men starting off with pure wrestling tactics, AJ using the height and weight advantage. He may only be twenty pounds heavier, but he is over a foot taller, and that is an advantage in any match. AJ and Spanish Fly lock hands, AJ gets the advantage as he pushes Fly’s shoulders further toward the mat. AJ pushes Spanish Fly’s shoulders completely down, the referee starts to count, but Fly raises one of his arms before the two. Spanish Fly tries to power up onto his feet, but AJ uses his right leg to sweep Fly’s legs out from under him, taking him down to the ground. AJ gets both of Fly’s shoulders down again, but again Fly lifts one before the two count. Fly puts his feet on AJ’s chest and pushes him away, the momentum getting Fly onto his feet. Fly jumps onto AJ’s shoulders in a Hurricanrana position, hands still locked, and goes over AJ’s back for a Sunset Flip! One… Two... No! AJ rolls out quickly and both men stand up, facing each other once again. They lock up, AJ applies an arm wringer, Fly tries to break the hold but can’t, so he backs up to the ropes, and the referee calls for a break. Fly shakes the pins and needles out of his arm, and he locks up again with AJ. AJ applies a side headlock, Fly backs up to the ropes and pushes AJ off, AJ comes off the ropes and hits Fly with a shoulder block. AJ runs to the ropes again, Fly ducks under, AJ runs to the other side, leapfrog by Fly, AJ comes off the ropes a third time, Fly puts his legs up, and AJ gets catapulted across the ring by Fly’s legs! AJ gets up again and runs at Fly, Fly tries a clothesline, AJ ducks under and stops, Fly runs at AJ, and AJ hits an armdrag. Fly gets up quickly and AJ hits another armdrag, this time holding on for the armbar. COLE AJ using great psychology, working on the arm of Spanish Fly. If AJ can apply a submission hold, maybe a Cattle Mutilation, or a Fujiwara Armbar, he could pick up the victory. Fly gets to his feet with the armbar still applied, steadies, and backflips over, un-wrenching the arm! Fly connects with a stiff kick to the stomach, AJ lets go of the hold, Fly locks fingers with AJ and kicks him again, Fly runs to the corner and up to the top rope, walking along the rope, before coming off and hitting a hurricanrana! Fly goes for a quick cover… One… Twno! AJ kicks out before the two. COACH Great agility by Spanish Fly! Got out of that armbar, and then hit a hurricanrana off the top rope, great stuff. CABOOSE This kid’s got guts. Fly won’t stay down for a simple armbar. You’ve got to hit this kid with some painful moves, really rattle him. Fly stands up and waits for AJ to get to his knees, before connecting with a dropkick to the head! AJ falls back, and Fly plays to the crowd, who respond with a heavy dose of boos. AJ uses the ropes to get to his feet, and once he is vertical, Fly connects with another stiff kick to the stomach. Irish whip by Fly, reversal by AJ, Fly comes off the ropes and AJ connects with an armdrag, right into the armbar yet again. AJ holds Fly’s arm on the ground, and drops a knee across the elbow, with Fly shouting in pain. AJ drops the knee a second time, and Fly lets out another yelp. AJ steps his leg over Fly’s shoulder and pulls back, trying to hyperextend the elbow. COLE Modified version of an armbar by AJ Flaire here, looking strong in this match up. Spanish Fly tries desperately to get out of the hold, but AJ won’t release it. Fly tries again, but again no luck, so he has no choice but to go to the ropes. The referee calls for the break, and AJ obliges. Fly gets up again with the use of the ropes, favouring the left arm now. Fly shakes the feeling back into the arm, and then locks up with AJ again. AJ gets the side headlock again, Fly pushes him off, AJ comes off the ropes, and Fly hits a Massive dropkick! COLE Beautiful dropkick! AJ gets up quickly, Fly runs at him, AJ with a boot to the midsection, double underhook by AJ, takes Spanish Fly over for a double arm suplex, but Fly shifts his weight and turns in mid air, taking AJ down with a Hurricanrana. Fly does a commando roll over to his corner, where he tags in Vitamin X. X walks over to AJ as the X Champion is getting to his feet. X catches AJ with a quick kick to the stomach, followed by a front face lock, and a swinging neckbreaker. X goes for a quick cover… One… Two… No! AJ kicks out again. X grabs AJ once again and lands two stiff kicks to the ribs, followed by a third kick to the back. AJ staggers back into The Lightning Crew’s corner and X follows him, winding up and hitting a hard knife edge chop. CROWD WHOO! X winds up again, and hits another knife edge chop, the impact echoing throughout the arena. CROWD WHOO! AJ clutches his chest in pain, while X tags in Spanish Fly. X takes AJ out of the corner and gets a front face lock, before executing a snap suplex on AJ Flaire. Spanish Fly jumps up to the top turnbuckle like a cat, and like a flash, flies off the top rope and hits a leg drop across the throat of AJ Flaire. Spanish Fly follows the move up with a cover… One! Two! COLE The leg is hooked… No! AJ kicks out again. COLE … But AJ kicks out again. Spanish Fly grabs AJ and takes him to the corner, smashing his head against the top turnbuckle pad for good measure. He puts AJ in a front face lock and Suplexes him up so he is sitting on the top turnbuckle. Fly flips off the crowd to a chorus of boos, and we see Gunner clapping AJ on, telling him to turn the momentum around. Spanish Fly goes up to the top rope, signalling for a Frankensteiner… … But AJ pushes him off! AJ regains his composure and steps up onto the top rope, Spanish Fly slowly gets to one leg, and AJ launches off the ropes with ELEGANCE! Both men are down, and both men are reaching for the tag! COACH Elegance! What a move by AJ to try and get the advantage back! CABOOSE It is now a matter of who can get to their partner first guys, whoever gets the tag first will have the advantage, with both partners being relatively fresh. AJ reaches as Spanish Fly reaches… … AJ Tags in Gunner first! … Fly tags in Vitamin X second! Gunner steps into the ring and X runs at him, only to be taken down by a clothesline! Spanish Fly runs at Gunner, but Gunner floors him with a big boot to the face. X runs at Gunner again and boots him in the knee, making it buckle and putting Gunner off his game for a second, X tries to Irish Whip Gunner, Gunner reverses, X goes for a clothesline, Gunner ducks under, X turns around, and Gunner grabs him with his left arm! Gunner lifts Vitamin X high in the air for a Gorilla Press, and drops him down quickly for a Spinebuster! COLE Tortured Soul Slam by Gunner Sharps! He is on fire! Gunner goes for the cover, but he sees Spanish Fly come off the top rope! Gunner stands up quickly, and catches Fly by the throat as he comes down to the ground! COACH He’s got him BY THE THROAT! BY THE THROAT! CABOOSE Thanks for that Paul E. Gunner lifts Spanish Fly high in the air and takes him down with a monstrous CHOKELSAM! Gunner signals for the end! COLE Gunners going to go for the Sharp End Spear! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM~!!! COACH What the hell? Gunner is startled by the pyro blast, and Vitamin X takes the opportunity to deliver a chop block to the knee, which takes Gunner down! Gunner crawls over to AJ Flaire and tags in, and rolls out of the ring! COLE Gunner’s leg may have given out again! But what was that pyro blast? CABOOSE Look who it is! Suddenly AXEL appears at the top of the ramp and starts laughing at Gunner, who looks up at him and scowls! Gunner begins to limp up the ramp, and Axel tells him to ‘bring it’! COACH Living Angleously all over again tonight! While Gunner limps up the ramp, Vitamin X distracts the referee while Spanish Fly grabs the former Pure Adrenaline Title belt! The referee is distracted, so Fly rolls into the ring and measures AJ Flaire, who is looking at Gunner and Axel, about to fight. AJ turns around, and Spanish Fly SMASHES him in the face with the Pure Adrenaline Title Belt! COLE Dammit that isn’t right!! Spanish Fly rolls out of the ring quickly, and Vitamin X grabs AJ by the head. Vitamin X gets a U Underhook, and then hits THE OVERDOSE! Gunner and Axel are about to go at it on the top of the stage, and Vitamin X makes the cover on AJ Flaire! ONE! TWO! COLE No! NO! THREEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! *DING DING DING* COACH That’s not right! CABOOSE Yeah! Ha-ha! The Lightning Crew’s intelligence wins again! CUE: “No Chance in Hell” by Bradley Boyds BUFFERHere are your winners… Spanish Fly and VITAMIN X! The fans deliver heavy boos as the referee counts three and the Lightning Crew’s music hits. Vitamin X and Spanish Fly’s hands are raised as AJ lies prone in the ring. Meanwhile at the top of the ramp, Axel looks at Gunner and just laughs, before retreating to the backstage area. Gunner tries to follow, but his leg is still bothering him a great deal. COLE I’ll tell you what, Axel may have won the battle tonight, but I guarantee you that one day in the future, Axel and Gunner will fight again. This war is far from over. CABOOSE Well the bottom line is that Vitamin X and Spanish Fly have won this match, and they will proceed to the Semi Finals in the Tag Title Tournament! I can’t wait to see them take on Black T! (Go to break)

(Return from break) (Cut to Abe Vigoda's Office, where he's listening to a CD with a walkman CD player, and filing through papers. Suddenly, Sly Sommers barges into the room.) SLY Abe...hey, Abe? (Abe pays no attention, and is dancing around in his swivel chair as he goes through papers.) SLY Hey, I'm right here! (pulls Abe's headphones off) ABE Hey, what are you doing? I was listening to that new Outkast CD. After all, I have "The Love Below" in my "Speakerboxxx"! SLY Dude...eww! That's freakin' gross! Anyway, I came here because, as everyone who watched the Pay-Per-View on Sunday saw, I got screwed out of what should be MY World Title! That's why I'm proposing that, at School's Out: Class Dismissed, me and Zachariah the Non-Messiah go at it one more time, but in a type of match that has NEVER taken place here in the OAOAST. ABE That's impossible! Any promotion that's done an Ejaculation Chamber match has done every stipulation match possible! SLY Abe, you obviously haven't seen much wrestling in your extremely long lifespan. You see, I've been studying up on my wacky European wrestling tapes, and I've began to take a liking to their style, especially the format in which they wrestle their matches. They have a set of rules that are commonly referred to as "The European Rounds Format", where you wrestle for, at a maximum of twelve three-minute rounds, with thirty second intervals in between to rest. The match can only end after two pinfalls by the same competitor, two submissions, one knockout, or a red card disqualification. The card system for disqualifications is that, if you strike an opponent while on one or both knees, deliver a low blow to your opponent, not release a choke after the five-count, threaten an official, or attack an opponent's eyes and/or fishhook him, you're given a yellow card public warning. Two of those, and the next minor offense will get you a red card, which is automatic disqualification. But, you can get a red card without getting any yellow cards by strking an official, repeatedly striking a downed opponent, or using a weapon. So, what do you think? ABE Now, hold your horses. I really do appreciate the effort you put into researching these rules. To let you know, I did review the tape, and Mr. Malibu did win the match under rather dubious circumstances. But, when you put your name on the dotted line for the title shot, you also signed that you wouldn't be able to get another immediate World Title shot if you lost by pinfall or submission. SLY Come on now...I signed those documents while intoxicated! ABE I sign a lot of crap while drunk...hell, that pre-nup to my third wife I signed with the help of Jim Bean made me have to take up this job when the tramp left me! That's not a good enough excuse. But, I do feel with you. So, I'm going to let you do your little Blackpool intervals... SLY ...European Rounds... ABE ...Yeah, what you said, European Rounds match at School's Out, but it cannot be against Zack Malibu. It MUST be against another opponent. I'll give you some time to determine your opponent, since you obviously won't have it tonight. SLY Huh? What do you mean? ABE You didn't hear? You and Colvid are wrestling in the World Tag Team Title Tournament tonight. SLY Since when? ABE Since a certain friend of yours entered your name in the tournament... SLY Colvid? Geez, I got to go talk some sense into him... ABE It better be fast; your match is next. SLY Whoa! Who are we facing then? ABE Let's see...(looks at bracket paper)...ahh, the Global Party Exchange! SLY Damn it! We get the number eight seed. Thanks a lot, man! (Sly storms out of Abe's office.) ABE Just doin' what I can... (Scene closes with Abe patting himself on the back for absolutely no reason.) (Go to break) (Return from break) MC Our next contest in the opening round of the World Tag Team Tournament pits the Global Party Exchange, one of the fastest-rising tag teams in the world, facing Totally Endorsed's Colvid and a man who seems to be going through quite the transformation in Sly Sommers. COACH Those of you who saw Living Angleously on Sunday night saw Sly Sommers pull a chain out of his tights, and then somehow found his consience or something, and didn't use it. CABOOSE Like I said on Sunday night, Sly Sommers is going soft. MC Whatever, we got huge tag team action right...NOW! ("Make Her Say" starts up, and the Global Party Exchange come out to the excited shrieks of the females in the crowd. Jackson drinks a bit of water, and mists it upward, and both GPX members run to the ring, slapping hands as they come down the aisle.) BUFFER The following is a first round match in the OAOAST World Tag Team Championship Tournament! Introducing first, weighing in at a combined weight of 407 pounds...Scotty Static and Johnny "Jam" Jackson, the Global Party Exchange! MC Though they lost to the Cult of Damaramu on Sunday, they were bracketed as the number one seed due to their previous huge victories... CABOOSE That, and we put together the brackets on Saturday morning. ("Give Me Back My Bullets" starts up, and Sly Sommers and Colvid come out of the entrance. Sly gets some scattered applause, and the response overall is mixed. Sly acknoledges the cheers with a nod and a yell of "'Sup?!" to the crowd. Colvid pats Sly on the back, and asks him what's going on with the crowd and new entrance music. Sly simply asks Colvid to come to the ring with him. They then go to the ring.) BUFFER And their opponents...weighing in tonight at a combined weight of 420 pounds...representing Totally Endorsed...the team of Sly "The Sly" Sommers and Colvid! MC If you remember back in January, the GPX got a victory over this very same combo in a really good match-up...let's see if Sly and Colvid can re-claim their victory and take one step closer to tag team gold! *BELL RINGS* Colvid starts off with Scotty Static. Both men come to the center of the ring, and lock hands in a single-handed Greco-Roman knucklelock. Static sticks his other hand out for the second lock, but Colvid scores with a single-leg takedown. Colvid starts to go for a spinning toe hold, but Static blocks the step-over by putting his leg up. Static then pushes Colvid's leg back to regular position with his foot. Scotty then kips up onto one foot, and goes for an enziguri. Colvid ducks the kick, and Static lands on both hands, as Colvid keeps ahold of the leg. Static then rolls himself forward, and pulls Colvid into a victory roll........1...........2.......kickout! CABOOSE Colvid isn't showing much ring rust, despite being out for over a month. MC Yeah, other than Static reversing all of his stuff, and bringing him over with a victory roll. Both men come back up, and Static goes for a hiptoss. Colvid blocks, and goes for one of his own. Static blocks that, and slides behind Colvid for a backslide........1.........2........kickout! Both men come back up, and Static leaps for a monkey flip. But, Colvid drops Static, and rolls through for a jackknife cradle.........1........2......kickout! Both men come back up. Static kicks Colvid in the mid-section, and then rolls over his back. Static backs up into the ropes behind him, and Colvid attempts to catch him for a side slam. But, Static reverses with a flying headscissors! COACH The youth and energy of the GPX are probably their strongest factor, and Scotty Static's showing it off here! Colvid rolls right to his corner, and tags in Sly Sommers. Both men come to the center of the ring, and perform a collar-and-elbow tie-up. Sly locks in a front chancery. Static hooks behind the knees of Sly, and tries for a takedown. But, Sly rolls through, and now has him in a kneeling version of the front chancery. Sly then twists himself around, converting the move to a wristlock as he rises to his feet. Static comes up, and can't figure out a reversal. So, he handsprings himself against the ropes, and bounces off to send Sly tumbling with an armdrag. MC Tremendous use of his innovative ability! Both men come to their feet, and Static runs at Sly. Sly catches him, and tries to bring him over with a hiptoss. But, Static hooks Sly's head, and brings him over with an inverted snapmare. Sly comes back up, and walks right into a jumping heel kick. Static pulls Sly up, and goes for a slam. But, Sly slips out the back end, and brings Static down with a Russian legsweep. Sommers goes for the cover.......1........2......kickout. Sly then brings Scotty up with a front facelock, and drags him to the Totally Endorsed corner, where Sly tags in Colvid. CABOOSE The secret behind every great tag team is quick tags and isolation of an opponent, both of which Totally Endorsed are showing off right now. Colvid latches onto Static, and both men switch their grips on Static to bring him over with a double suplex. Both Totally Endorsed members then roll through, and nail an impressive double release Northern Lights suplex! Colvid pulls Static up instead of going for the pin, and whips him off to the ropes. Colvid then connects with a stiff high knee strike. Colvid goes for the cover............1.............2..............kickout! Colvid pulls Static up, and lifts him for a side suplex. Colvid then drops him across his knee for an inverted backbreaker. COACH Devastating backbreaker variation by Colvid! Colvid pulls Static up, and hooks his head underneath his armpit. Colvid then drops him with a falling reverse DDT. Colvid then comes back up, and chains that with a Curtain Call, dropping Static back-first onto his knee! Colvid goes for the cover...........1..........2........kickout! Colvid then grabs Static's arm, and drags him to the Totally Endorsed corner. Colvid tags in Sly, and Colvid hooks Static's head and arm. Colvid brings him over for a snap suplex, and Sly comes over to nail a slingshot senton a second later. Colvid keeps the suplex latched in, and rolls through. Colvid nails a second snap suplex, and holds on as Sly gets a running start and nails a running cannonball senton. Sly then goes up top as Colvid rolls through. Colvid lifts Static, and drops him with a devastating brainbuster! Sly then comes off the top rope, and nails a big top rope cannonball senton! MC That was an amazing sequence of moves! Sly goes for the cover as Colvid goes back to the corner.........1........2......Johnny Jackson comes in to break it up. The referee gets distracted by getting Jackson back to his corner, and Colvid comes back into the ring. Both Totally Endorsed members send Static off to the ropes, and bring him up and down on the way back with an H-Bomb backbreaker! Colvid stays in the ring, but Sly refuses to go back to the corner and do the fake tag schtick. MC What's this? CABOOSE I don't know, but Sly's obviously forgetting what he learned in Cheating 101. The referee turns back around, and Colvid ends up having to go back to the corner. Sly pulls Scotty off of the mat, and gives him a beautiful fisherman's suplex.......1..........2........kickout! Sommers pulls Scotty up, and locks in a cravate. The cravate is short-lived, as he places his leg in front of Scotty's, and brings him down with an inverted Russian legsweep. Sly then rolls onto his stomach, keeping ahold of Scotty's head. Sly comes to his feet, and lifts (and drops) Scotty with another falling reverse DDT. Sly then rolls the move over so that Scotty's on his stomach, and reaches up to tag in Colvid. Colvid then climbs to the second rope, and nails a devastating double-knee to Static's lower back region! MC Considering the work they've done to that back so far, that literally cracked his spine! COACH It could have, but his spine probably isn't broken... MC I didn't say "his spine is broken", I said "his spine is literally broken!" COACH Umm...okay... Colvid then brings Static over with La Magistral........1........2........kickout! Both men come to their feet, and Colvid goes for a clothesline. But, Static ducks the clothesline, scores with a go-behind, and brings Colvid back for a rolling prawn hold......1........2.......kickout! Static falls on his face upon the kickout, but comes back up. Scotty comes off of the ropes as Colvid gets up. Static dives for a bodypress, but Colvid blocks with a front dropkick to the ribs in mid-air. COACH That knocked the wind out of Scotty! Colvid pulls Scotty up, and lifts him at his side. Colvid then nails a side backbreaker. Colvid quickly converts the lift to slam position, and connects with a front backbreaker. Colvid picks Scotty back up, and nails an impressive Catatonic Backbreaker across his knee! Colvid keeps ahold of the head-and-arm grip, and forces Static onto the mat with a big STO! Colvid goes for the cover........1........2.......kickout! MC I think Colvid tried to drive his knee straight through Scotty Static a couple of times there! Colvid then positions Static for a powerbomb. But, Scotty somehow musters the strength to reverse that with a backdrop to reverse! Both men slowly crawl to their corners. Colvid gets to Sly first, and tags out. Sly quickly runs into the ring, grabs Scotty's ankle, and drags him back to mid-ring. Sly then jumps on top of Static, and locks in a camel clutch! CABOOSE He might be a softie now, but that camel clutch is a devastating submission hold! Static can't find a way to roll out either way, so he bends his arm in the direction of his face, and slides his hand in between the chinlock part of the move before Sly's hands finally come off. Sly adapts immediately, and rolls Static forward for a Gedo Clutch..........1...........2.........kickout! Both men come back up, and Static goes for a flying headscissors. But, Sly catches Static in a side slam position, and spins him around for a wacky version of a sitdown powerbomb! He keeps him down for the cover............1............2.........kickout! COACH Scotty's back has to be destroyed by now! Sly pulls Static up, and locks in a cobra clutch. But, Scotty quickly twists out, and hops up to bring Sly over with a hurricanrana into a cradle.........1..........2........kickout! Both men come back up, and Sly ducks a clothesline from Scotty. Sly turns around, hooks Scotty's head and arm, and connects with a cobra clutch legsweep, rolling back to his knees with his near leg wrapped around Scotty's for a cradle........1..........2.......kickout! MC If at first you don't succeed, try again. Sly pulls Scotty up, hooks both of his arms, and nails a butterfly suplex. Sly then tags in Colvid. Colvid pulls Static up, as Sly drops down to one knee. Colvid then brings Scotty back with an inverted Russian legsweep (cradling the leg) onto Sly's knee! Sly goes back to the corner as Colvid goes for the pin........1..........2.......kickout! COACH Very impressive double-team manuever by Totally Endorsed! Colvid pulls Scotty up, and lifts him for a suplex, twisting half-way to fall back for a corkscrew version. Colvid then turns Static onto his stomach, and locks in a surfboard submission. Static can't find a way to reverse, so he repeatedly rocks himself back and forth before he is able to roll back onto his feet. When he does, he nails an immediate standing corkscrew splash, and goes for the cover.........1............2........kickout! Both men get up, and Static runs to the ropes. Colvid attempts to catch him for a hiptoss, but Scotty reverses that attempt with a tornado DDT! MC The momentum might be shifting here! Both men come back up, and Static nails a high dropkick. Scotty comes back up, and Colvid slowly stumbles to his feet soon thereafter. Static then charges at him, leaps, and nails a tornado version of a monkey flip! Both men come back up, and Colvid ducks underneath a punch. Colvid forearms Static in the lower back, and goes for a side suplex. But, Static repositions himself in mid-move, and reverses with a flying headscissors! COACH That was a rather creative reversal! Scotty then gets up, and springboards with one foot onto the second rope. He then leaps off, and jumps to the top rope, both leaps while facing the crowd. Colvid stumbles to his feet, and Static launches off to nail a incredible corkscrew Diamond Dust variation. But, Colvid clutches Static, and lifts him up over his shoulder. Colvid then drops Static with a Davey Boy Smith-style running powerslam! CABOOSE That's definately something that Colvid needed at that moment. Both men then slowly crawl to their corners. Colvid gets to Sly, who quickly runs into the ring. But, Static rolls to the GPX corner, and tags in Johnny Jackson for the first time! Jackson springboards to the top rope immediately, and takes Sly down with a springboard spinning wheel kick! Sly stumbles to his feet slowly, as Jackson kips up. When Sly gets to his feet, he walks right into a dropsault from Jackson. Jackson pulls Sly up, and sends him to the ropes. Jackson then nails an incredible dropsault-like kick, flipping off of Sly's chest with one foot and kicking him in the face with the other, to send him to the outside! COACH Johnny Jackson's a house of fire! Jackson then takes off to the the ropes on the opposite side of where Sly is. Jackson comes off of the ropes, charges to the other side, and dives over the top rope, nailing an incredible corkscrew tope onto Sly! Scotty Static then enters the ring, and tries to do the same thing as his partner. But, when he comes off of the ropes on the opposite side, Colvid delivers a knee to his hurt lower back, and Static drops to the ground in pain. MC Bad positioning by Static, leaving his injured back open for an attack like that. Jackson tosses Sly back into the ring a few seconds later. Jackson goes up top, and launches off for a swanton. But, Sly rolls out of the way, and Jackson misses. Jackson stumbles to his feet, and Sly gets up, waiting for something. Jackson then turns around, and walks right into the piggyback set-up, and being dropped with the Sommerset! Sly goes for the cover..........1...........2......kickout! Sly gets up, and frustratedly signals for the Cravateface. CABOOSE This is probably the most deadly hold in Sly's arsenal, just because once he locks it in, you have no choice but to submit! Sly comes from behind as Jackson stumbles to his feet, and goes for it. But, Jackson hooks Sly's leg, and rolls forward for a cradle..........1..........2.......kickout! Both men come up, and Jackson leaps onto Sly's shoulders for a victory roll attempt. But, Sly holds him up there, and tags in Colvid. Colvid goes up top, and Totally Endorsed nail a bodypress variation of the Doomsday Device! MC That could be it! Sly goes back to the corner, as Colvid goes for the pin while holding the tights. Sly starts yelling at Colvid, asking why he needs to hook the tights if Jackson's knocked out. Colvid gets up, and they start arguing. As they argue while the referee tries to get Colvid back to wrestling, Static sneaks into the ring, drags Jackson to the corner, goes back to the apron, and tags himself in. Static then positions himself on the center of the apron, as Sly yells at Colvid to turn around. When Colvid finally does, Static springboards to the top rope, and nails his signature Shooting Star Lariat! Scotty goes for the cover... 1........... 2.......... 3! BUFFER Your winners, and advancing to the semi-finals....the Global Party Exchange! MC The Global Party Exchange get the big win, and are one step closer to winning their first World Tag Team Titles! CABOOSE That might not be the big story here...I think Totally Endorsed is "totally disfunctional". Sly approaches the GPX as they walk back to the locker room, and shakes both men's hands out of respect, confusing them both. Sly then enters the ring to check on Colvid. Colvid dazily shoves Sly off of him, and heads to the locker room. Sly follows, and even slaps a couple of fans' hands on the way back. COACH Caboose, you might be right...Totally Endorsed don't look like the most together of units here at HeldDOWN~!. MC I'd also like an explanation for the recent attitude change of Sly Sommers. Sure, it's pleasant to see him out here, showing respect and doing the right thing. But, this whole thing has come out of nowhere, and knowing what Sly's done in the past, I don't want to jump directly in with both feet and trust him just yet. COACH Moving on, we’ll see GPX take on Chicks Over Dicks in the semi final of the OAOAST tag team tournament! COLE When we come back we’ll see the final first round match up! (Go to break)

(Return from break) The arena is bathed in a steady yellow light and soft green fog gently falls from the ceiling. We hear the soft and subtle opening drum beat and the angsty lyrics of "You Oughta know". When the chorus kicks in the OAOAST's newest tag team of Alix Spezia and Krista Isadora Duncan emerge from the back and into the jam packed arena. Alix who's used to working in front of such a large crowd, throws up her trademark peace sign and starts her walk to the ring. The newcomer to the OAOAST Krista Isadora Duncan, who's never performed in front of crowd so large, stops to gaze wide eyed at the screaming mass of drunken humanity in the stands. BUFFER The following is a quarter final match in the world tag team championship tournament, now making their way to the ring from Beverly Hills, California, Alix Spezia, Krista Isadora Duncan.....CHICKS OVER DIIIIICKSSSSSS! COLE Caboose, what do you know about this Krista Isadora Duncan? CABOOSE I know that she's a lying sack of man hating shit with pits so harry they'd offend King Kong . Did you know she's an author? I read her book, No Man, No Cry. I equate reading it with the feeling of being dipped in a pot of flesh ripping acid then being forced to watch your mom go down on your high school principal and cum swap with your dead grandmother. Krista and Alix slide into the ring at the same time. They do some sort of strange secret woman hand shake that I don't feel like describing. Anyway their music dies out and the crowd murmurs in anticipation for the arrival of their opponents. "Scarecrow Man" blasts over the loud speakers! The song signals the arrival of the always bad, always violent, always vulgar and never polite, Cult of Damaramu. COACH These two scored an impressive victory over GPX last night! With Dama's guidance they have the potential to be major players in the tag team ranks. CABOOSE Talk about your generic comment. You could've applied that to anyone, just switch the names around. With Tha Puerto Rican's guidance, Spanish Fly could be a major player in the X division ranks. With Zack's guidance, Candie could be a major player in the OAOAST. Coach, there's a big difference between sounding insightful and being insightful. Damaramu's boys head down to ring, never once changing their blank expression, not even when a fan pelts Skull Mask in the head with a beer bottle. COLE There's some history between Alix and Skull Mask. As a servant of Damaramu, Skull Mask aided in his master's attempt on Alix's life only two short months ago. The attack broke Alix's collarbone but she was able to successfully defeat Damaramu's old buddy and her ex fiance Northstar at Anglemania. BIG DADDY BUFFER Now making their way to the ring, from Mexico City, Mexico weighing in at a combined weight of five hundred and three pounds, Skull Kid, Skull Mask....THE CULT OF DAMARAMU! COLE Fans, the Cult of Damaramu has made a major splash on HeldDOWN in a short amount of time. I don't think there's a more intimidating presence in the HeldDOWN locker room then Damaramu and his followers. These guys mean business. I hope there's no more where Skull Kid and Skull Mask came from! Skull Mask positions himself on the ring apron, and his counterpart Krista Isadora Duncan does the same. The crowd's noise dies out as they settle themselves in for this first round match up. The fearsome Skull Kid steps over the ropes as their theme song ends. When he steps into the ring he's immediately caught with a spinning wheel kick from Alix! Kid hits the ground hard and Alix wastes no time in going onto the attack, BAM! BAM! BAM! She grabs the side of face and begins to violently slam the back of his head against the mat! CABOOSE Come on, get up! You're getting beat up by the T&A! Skull Kid pie faces Alix away from him. That buys him enough time to get to his feet. Alix gets to hers as well. Skull Kid throws out a toe kick with his left foot, but Alix catches his leg! She sweeps his right leg out from under him, dropping him to the ground! Alix spreads Kid's legs apart then drops a knee onto his balls! CROWD OOOOOOH! Clinching his groin, Skull Kid rises to his feet. He doesn't stay their for long as Alix runs the ropes and SMACKS the back of his head with a running Enziguiri on the rebound! The blow flips Dama's left hand man over, so that he lands back first on the mat! COLE Alix has the advantage, but for how long? Alix heads to a neutral corner and climbs to the top rope. She patiently waits for Skull Kid to stand up. A smile crosses her pretty face when he rises to his feet. Camera flashes fill the air as Alix flies at her adversary with a cross body block! Skull Kid CATCHES Alix in his arms! Instead of throwing her backwards for a fall away slam, he drops her ribs onto his outstretched knee for a rib breaker! CRAAAACK! He hits another! CRAAAACK! He hits another! He pushes Alix off his knee and onto the floor where she writhes in pain, clutching her hurt ribs. Pin attempt! 1 2 KICK OUT! CABOOSE She should've stayed back in the kitchen where she belongs! Skull Kid violently whips Alix into his corner. He follows that up by tagging in his equally stoic partner, Skull Mask. COACH This match is over. Cue up the Misfit song. Skull Mask steps over the ropes and nails Alix with a powerful clothesline, sandwiching her between the turnbuckle and his massive arms! Dazed and hurt, Alix drops to the mat in a seated position. Showing zero emotion and ignoring the crowd's chants of "You suck", Skull Mask puts the boots to Alix's bare abdomen. Skull Mask takes a knee, and leans into Alix, choking her while leaning her head against the ropes. COLE Hey ref, tell Skull Mask to knock off the choke hold! The ref doesn't have to do anything, as Skull Mask ends the choking himself. He stands up and tags Skull Kid back into the ring! Kid steps through the ropes, and immediately picks up where his partner left off. He brings Alix to her feet, and slams her against the turnbuckle, drawing a whimper from the heavily tanned diva. SMAAAACK! SMAAAAACK! Kid nails Alix with two flesh searing knife edge chops! In an effort to vary his offense, Kid ducks down and begins driving his shoulder into Alix's midsection! Each time he does it, Alix lets out a very audible shout of pain. Finally Kid ends the assault on Alix's midsection. He snapmaeres her out of the corner, leaving her seated on the mat. Kid climbs onto the second the rope, then hops off with outstretched legs, nailing Alix with a missile dropkick to the small of the back, the same back Damaramu and Skull Mask nearly broke two months ago. Pin attempt! 1 2 KICK OUT! CABOOSE Can we get ref who can count to three? With Alix on the ground, Kid stands up and positions himself so that his back is facing her body. He flips himself over and goes for standing moonsault. ALIX GETS HER KNEES UP and blocks the move! Kid rolls off of Alix and clutches his midsection while gasping for air. Alix brings Kid to his feet and drills him with a tornado DDT! CABOOSE Illegal move! The tornado DDT was outlawed in the OAOAST on July 28th 2003. DQ her! The female members of the audience start to get behind Alix Spezia. They clap their hands together as she crawls to her corner, looking to tag in Krista Isadora Duncan. Their clapping grows louder and louder as Alix gets closer and closer to her old friend. Krista silently curses the fact that she's not six foot six as she leans as far as humanly possible over the ropes, looking for the tag. Elsewhere, Skull Kid has recovered from the shock of botching his moonsault long enough to tag in the horrifying beast, Skull Mask BUT! Skull Mask is taken off the ring apron with a chair shot to the back of the knees from Ryan Smith! COLE Where did he come from? CABOOSE He's been under the ring the whole time! That redneck bastard! Skull Mask rises to his feet only to get SMACKED~! across the forehead with a steel chair! Mask doesn't go down! Instead he charges at Smith, arm outstretched and looking for a clothesline BUT Smith ducks under Mask's arm, goes behind him and DRILLS the monster's upper back with a brutal chair shot! Mask's knees buckle, but he WILL NOT go down!!!! Smith hits him again with the chair! The sound of flesh meeting steel echoes throughout the arena! Mask drops to all fours! Another chair shot! And another! And another! And another plus infinity! CABOOSE AHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHH! What are you doing, dickhead?!!!!! COACH Calling the match! CABOOSE Not you! The other dickhead! Back in the ring, Alix makes the hot tag to Krista, popping the female fan base! Krista grabs onto the ropes and flies into the ring with a slingshot hurricanrana to Skull Kid, her first offensive maneuver ever in the OAOAST! COLE Not bad! CABOOSE I could do that in my sleep with half my right leg sawed off. Krista crouches down and watches a groggy Kid struggle as he uses the ropes to pull himself to a vertical base. He has no time recover as Krista's on him like butter on pancakes! She NAILS him with a Yakuza kick that sends him TUMBULING of the ring and onto the ring apron! COACH Could you do that? CABOOSE Blindfolded and in a wheelchair. Kid picks himself up, only to find himself hooked into position for a vertical suplex. He counters by desperately shoving Krista to the ground breaking the hold and buying himself a bit of time. Kid walks to the corner and scales the top turnbuckle, with his back towards Krista. The crowd rises to their feet in anticipation for what could be huge high risk attack! COACH What's he going to do? Sadly, poor Coach will never know what Kid was going to do as Ryan Smith nails him in the back of knee with a chair! The blow crotches Kid on the turnbuckle, leaving him in a highly vulnerable position. Ever the intelligent one, Krista capitalizes on Kid's injured state. She climbs to the top rope, wraps her arms around Skull Kid's neck like she wanted to apply a sleeper, then lifts him into the air, and sends him falling to the mat back first with a Mona Lisa Smile (Flashback!)!!! COACH I'd like to see you do that!!!! Not wanting any help from a man, Krista orders Smith to take a hike. The tone of her voice leaves no room for debate and he goes back to beating on Skull Mask. Krista drops to the mat and grabs Kid's leg for a pin attempt. 1 2 3!!~!~!~!~!! "You Oughta know" hits as the ref tries to raise Krista's hand. Instead she yanks it away, not wanting a man to contaminate her angelic femininity. Krista walks over to Skull Kid and a disgusted look comes over her face as if she was a little girl staring at a dead bug. She uses her boot to push him out of the ring, causing him to land on Skull Mask and providing Ryan Smith the opportunity to give Skull Kid the parting gift of five chair shots to the back of the head. COACH Ryan Smith needs anger management. Krista helps her pal, Alix to her feet and two exit the ring and head to the back as the female fans shower them with a round of applause. Ryan Smith teleports from ringside back to his secret base on Pluto. Actually he just exits through the crowd. COLE Wow! What a debut from Chicks Over Dicks! COACH I'll say! I'm hoping to see more of those two and less of their clothes! CABOOSE Dude, stop thinking with your dick and start thinking with your brain! These two aren't your typical wrestling bimbos. They have brains. They think. They're educated. They're both college graduates, which is more then can be said for 99.9% of the roster. Krista has a fucking Master's Degree from University of Southern California! A MASTERS DEGREE! That's more then can be said for ONE HUNDRED PERCENT OF THE ROSTER! She, and to a lesser extent Alix are a danger to our company. Educated women with a strong sense of equality pose a threat to the established order. An established order that might I add keeps you two gainfully employed, when a woman could do the same job and probably better. This is terrible, just awful. And that gender traitor Ryan Smith is partially responsible! He might as well cut off his dick and buy a Fiona Apple CD after what he's done. COACH I like Fiona! CABOOSE You would, cum stain. You would. Your ass probably beat off daily to "Down With Love". Punk bitch. Look here, wrestling is a man's sport. All the legitimate competitors are men. All the world champions have been men. It's not Christina Benoit. It's Christopher Benoit. It ain't Edwina Guererro. It's EDDY! It's not Zackette Malibu. It's Zack Malibu! It wasn't Tina Bridges and Tammy-Jenny Burns. It was Tyler Bridges and TJ Burns! All of our tag team champions have been men. I can deal with Crystal, because I'm sure she has a penis somewhere. But this is too fucking much for any man to take! Now we have an all girl tag team heading into the semi final, when we were supposed to see the Cult of Damaramu. This is awful. Beyond, awful! Men of the USA, if you see Ryan Smith on the street, I implore you to kick him, spit on him, throw shit at him, punch him, treat him like a bitch, because he sold you, he sold US, he sold the entire male gender out for a gang of Frisco dykes. COACH Their entrance music is pretty catchy. " YOU YOU YOU YOU OUGHTA KNOOOOOW. ITS NOT FAAAIIIR TO DennnnAAAY MEEEE" CABOOSE I need a drink. COLE Get one during the break. We'll be back! (Go to break)

(Return from break) (We're taken backstage, where we see HeldDOWN newcomer, Krista Isadora Duncan watching a replay of the Cult of Damaramu's match at LA. Her viewing session is interrupted by J.Math, Josh Matthews, shoving a microphone in her face and requesting an interview.) JOSH Yo, K-I-D! A word with Y-O-U! I got some questions! KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN Like? JOSH Like what brings you the OAOAST? How did a feminist author such as yourself get involved in pro wrestling? KRISTA Huh? It sounded like you were trying to ask a really good question, but all I heard was "I'm a man, all I can think about doing is slipping something in your drink, taking you back to the Super 8, knocking you up, getting you pregnant and skipping town the next day, without leaving so much as a note where you can contact me, and even though I'm leaving you by yourself to have the baby, don't even think about getting an abortion! Never mind the fact that I as a man have absolutely and can never have an idea what it's like to go through nine months of vomiting, sickness, bloating, depression and general mood swings, you cannot have an abortion! It is wrong and it is immoral! And even though I won't allow you to have an abortion, I'll contribute exactly zero dollars and zero cents in terms of child support! And if you think for a second that I'll ever stop by to see the kid or do so much as call her on the phone for her sixteenth birthday, you're crazy! And as an added bonus for doing you, all my buddy's will call me a pimp and a player while your friends will whisper and gossip behind your back about how you're such a dirty little slut who's legs are open more then a hallway!" (Krista grabs Josh by the shirt collar and violently slams him against the hard brick wall!) KRISTA Why didn't you ever call me Josh? I gave you my home number, my work number, my private cell and my work cell and my e-mail, both my ISP one and my hotmail one. But you never tried to contact me. All you had do was send me a little note "Hi, Krista how are you?" I'm fine. "How's the weather?" It's fine "Well, talk to ya later." Okay. Nice hearing from you. All you had to do. So why didn't you call me, Josh? Why didn't you e-mail me? Did I do something wrong? Did I say something I shouldn't have? Did I never treat you right? Did I always start the fight? JOSH I...I..don't know you! KRISTA Sure you do. JOSH No I don't! I swear! KRISTA Oh, you do. You know me very well. Because I'm every woman you've ever mistreated, ever abused and ever stepped on in your miserable life. I'm the girl you pantsed in fourth grade in front of five hundred giggling students at morning assembly. I'm the girl who's training bra you stole out of the girls locker room in seventh grade and ran through the cafeteria with it on your head calling yourself "The Legendary Pantiemeister". I'm the girl you stood up at the senior prom. The same girl who you asked to prom even though you had zero intention of going with her. The same girl who spent three hundred dollars on a prom dress because she thought she was going to be spending the biggest night of her young life with the boy she'd been infatuated with since she was in second grade, only to find out the only reason you asked her out was because you and your friends thought it would be such a riot to get the ugly duckling's hopes up. I'm the same sorority girl who's reputation you destroyed because you went around campus telling people how you got into my "bone zone" even though you not only failed to get to first base, you didn't even make it out of the batter's box. I'm the same girl who graduated with a GPA two points higher then you, graduated as valedictorian, had ten times more experience then you but found myself doing the same job and for less pay! (Krista lets go of Josh and stares deeply into his eyes) I'm your thirteen year old daughter who you walked out on at the exact point in my life I needed you the most. (Josh drops to his knees and starts to sob uncontrollably) JOSH I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! It was your mother, she was such a nag...I...I..couldn't take...I couldn't take it! You have to believe me...I..we...we both tried to make it work...for your sake....alway..always for you. But...we...could never, never stop fighting...constant arguments late at night, early in the morning...it wasn't healthy...for you...always for you. I'm so sorry...I didn't...it's just that.... (Krista walks away leaving Josh blabbering about an imaginary wife and child) (Back to the arena!) *Michael Cole is standing in the ring as we come back from a break, microphone in hand* COLE Ladies and Gentlemen, I would now like to introduce to you all a man who has exemplified what the X Division should be. A man who has shown a great level of determination and guts in the last few months. Ladies and Gentlemen, last Sunday night at Living Angleously this man unified the X Division and Pure Adrenaline Championships when he beat Dan Black in a memorable two out of three falls contest. CABOOSE Jeez, does Cole want to build him up anymore? *The fans start a loud ‘A-J! A-J!’ chant, as Michael Cole continues* COLE Let me introduce, the Undisputed One and Only AngleSault Thread X Division Champion of the World, AJ Flaire! CUE: ‘Man in the Box’ by Alice in Chains The fans ERUPT as the music of AJ Flaire hits, and the Champion makes his way out to the ring, decked out in black jeans and a his NEW White T-Shirt (FRONT: AJ and Gunner, Together Again? BACK: That’s Phenomenal!), with the X Division Championship belt over his right shoulder, and the Pure Adrenaline title over his left. He holds both belts high in the air at the top of the ramp, before walking down to the ring, and stepping inside. COACH AJ went through hell last Sunday, beating Dan Black two falls to one in that awesome match! AJ goes up to the second rope and poses with his belts for the fans, before going to the centre of the ring, and stopping. AJ stands on the second rope, in the centre of the ring, and holds his belts up in the air, as blue pyro shoots from the back two turnbuckles. CABOOSE New belt, new pyro… management sure is high on this guy. The pyro dies down and the ‘A-J! A-J!’ chants replace it as Cole gets ready to ask his first question. COLE AJ, firstly, a great win this past Sunday at Living Angleously. AJ Thanks Michael, it was one hell of a fight, but I’m glad I came out on top. I not only represented myself last Sunday night, but I represented this Division. The X Division has been a great part of this company for years now, and I was glad to represent every wrestler to ever hold this belt, and every wrestler to ever dream of holding this belt. COLE AJ, we saw Dan Black work on your arm this past Sunday, but that isn’t the body part that you have been having trouble with over the past five months. Ever since last November, you have been carrying a serious back injury, and we have never actually heard your condition from your perspective. So, what is your condition, and will you require surgery? *AJ pauses, and steps back, as if to think about his answer* CABOOSE This is a question that many have been asking for months now, Coach. COACH That’s right Caboose, AJ’s been nursing that back for months, and he hasn’t had a significant break for all of that time. AJ Well my condition is pretty complicated, and I don’t want to bore all of you with the details, but to be honest with all of you, my back is seriously injured, and I have been advised to take time off from wrestling, or risk a further, more severe injury. But, I say screw the doctors *crowd pops*. Nothing is going to make me leave this ring, nothing is going to make me stop competing, stop performing for you fans *another pop*. I don’t care what happens; I will always be in this business. After a while, it gets in your blood, wrestling becomes a part of you. There is no bigger high than performing for you guys, and no doctor, and no specialist, and no amount of advice is going to make me walk away. COACH Brave or stupid? You decide. CABOOSE Stupid. COLE Well with that being the case, where is your career heading right now? You are the Undisputed X Division Champion, and you have wrestled, and beaten, some of the best in the business. What, or whom, is your next target? AJ Well tonight Michael Cole, Gunner and I begin our quest for the Tag Team Championships, so I am focusing on that. After that, I’m gonna step up. Now there is only one show, you have to be more aggressive, you have to want a top spot more. So I’m going all the way, and no one is going to stop me. COLE AJ, you have all the tools to be a future Heavyweight contender. But before you leave, one more question. What are your thoughts on Rick Edwards and J. Arthur Edwards, and their unprovoked attack on you this past Sunday? *AJ smiles, and looks straight into the camera* AJ Dick Edwards, you and your stupid cousin have the gall to attack me after I’ve just had a match? Well, I only have one thing to say to you… Cue: “Tear Away” by Drowning Pool COLE Oh come on! This is AJ’s interview time! *AJ lets out a sigh and lowers the mic as “Tear Away” continues playing. The spotlights dance around as the guitar intro continues. Rick and J. Arthur show up on the stage causing the crowd to boo and chant “A-J, A-J.” Rick slides into the ring while J. Arthur stands on the outside.* RICK Let me get this straight. You come out here saying you represented the whole X Division at Living Angleously? AJ That’s right. RICK Well you didn’t represent me and you never will! I don’t like people speaking for me, so I had to make an appearance out here tonight! AJ You seem to like making appearances lately! In fact all your appearances not involving a bar, seem to involve me! Therefore, why don’t you appear in this ring next week and face me? *The fans pop at the challenge* RICK Whoa whoa whoa. There you go trying to represent me again! You’re not 100% right now, so I don’t think it’s time for us to go one on one. However, next week we can talk about this over a beer at Sharky’s Bar down the road. We can talk man to man and maybe set up a match at a time where your back isn’t as limp as your wrist! *The fans boo and chant “A-J, A-J”.* AJ You’re right. I wouldn’t want you to have to wrestle while drunk anyway. However, I’m not one to pass up a beer, so if you want me to meet you there next week then so be it! RICK Fine! Then I’ll see you there! *Rick smirks and then slides under the bottom rope.* AJ One more thing. Bring some breath mints next time cause your breath smells like his ass! *points to J. Arthur* *Rick starts to go back into the ring, but J. Arthur stops him and tells him to wait for another time.* (Commercial)

644hgm

I can post it, if you don't mind having a show during the early afternoon (1-2 EST) or late at night (like 10 EST).

Adam you or PRL will have to write your match. PM a mod for details on who advances.

Fuck this message board and its cock sucking fatal errors. That's all. Edit: Fuck the word "Feedback". I'll say "Feed back" all I want!

Here are your final brackets for the tag team title tourney! GPX Sly & Colvid Skull Mask and Skull Kid Chicks Over Dicks Gunner, AJ Vitamin X and Spanish Fly. R&AS (formerly Minions) Mystery team! Dama, I've already wrote COD vs The Skulls, so you don't have to worry about it.

Adam, Gunner and AJ are in the tourny.

MC Well, folks...this is what we've been waiting for. This is our huge main event for this evening, as Zack Malibu, the OAOAST Heavyweight Champion of the World, Zack Malibu, will make his first defense; facing the first graduate of his wrestling school, and the number one contender to the title, Sly Sommers. COACH Sly has gotten more and more personal as the weeks go on, first bringing up that Malibu had, in fact, trained him but had hid that fact due to his shame of Sly's braggartness, and then accusing Zack of being an abusive and downright mean person. CABOOSE It looks like Sly's mind games ended up working, as we saw Thursday night on HeldDOWN~!, as Sly and Zack got into a brawl that ended up with Sly being able to psych Zack out and nail him with his own "School's Out" superkick. How will that play into things tonight? MC And remember what we heard from DOA Abe Vigoda on Thursday: the rules will be relaxed for this match so that these two can beat the hatred out of each other and get it out of their systems once and for all! COACH Let's stop the talking, and get to the wrestling! "Orange Crush" starts up, and Sly Sommers comes out to the ring. He stands right outside of the entrance and pumps one closed fist in the air, before walking to the ring, obviously concentrated on his huge World Title match. MC This is, without a doubt, the biggest match of Sly Sommers's career, and looking at him, you can definately tell that he knows it! "Bring Me To Life" starts up, and Zack Malibu comes out to a GIMONGOUS pop! Zack charges to the ring, and tosses the belt onto the ring steps once he makes it down the aisle, before running into the ring. The referee and a couple of ring assistants have to charge into the ring to keep Zack in his corner for the opening announcements. * DING DING DING DING * BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall, with a one hour time limit. It is sanctioned by the OAOAST Governing Bodies Of Order, the OAOAST Office, Bill Watts, and the illustrious Director of Authority, Abe Vigoda. It will be a classic struggle between the teacher and the student he never wanted. Tonight, either the old guard will keep their grasp on top, or the new breed will rise to the occasion. Without any further ado...are you ready? (decent pop) I said...ARE YOU READY? (big pop) For the thousands in attendance, and the millions watching at home...LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE! (big pop) BUFFER Introducing first, the challenger....he hails from Bayside, California, and weighs in tonight at 195 pounds. He earned his title shot tonight by defeating Peter Knight at last month's Anglemania III mega-event, and was a finalist in the 2004 OAOAST Super X Cup tournament...he is one-third of Totally Endorsed...Sly "The Sly" Sommers! (Sly steps onto the second rope and poses, as the majority of the crowd boos him.) BUFFER And his opponent...he hails from Los Angeles, California, and weighs in tonight, also at 195 pounds. Throughout the years, he has proven himself to be a definitive cornerstone of the OAOAST. He is a current, reigning, and defending two-time OAOAST Heavyweight Champion of the WOOOOOOOOORLD! Ladies and gentlemen, Zack Malibu! (gigantic pop, as Zack just intensely stares at Sly) * DING DING * Both men rush to the center of the ring, and immediately engage in a collar-and-elbow lock-up. Neither man can get the other to budge an inch. Both men get the same idea, and drop down to their stomaches while keeping ahold of the lock-up at the same time. They then both try to twist out in the same direction at the same time, ending up in the same predicament, but moved over to the side. Malibu then slips his arms out of the lock-up, and jumps on top of Sly, hooking his thigh and arm. Malibu then ball-and-chains Sly, and goes into a pin.......1......kickout! MC An early pin attempt from the champion does nothing but fail. Sly rolls onto his stomach when he kicks out, and goes for a front facelock. But, Malibu immediately slips his head out of the hold and locks in a front facelock of his own. Sly tries pulling his head out of the front facelock, but Zack keeps it cinched in too tight. Zack eventually gets enough momentum that he is able to rise to his feet, and shove Sly's face down to the mat. COACH Zack is using his veteran edge to get into Sly's head early on in this contest. Sly punches the mat in frustration, and then goes into referee's position, telling Zack to get behind him and start grappling. Zack gets behind Sly, and locks in a reverse waistlock, wrapping his legs around Sly's right thigh to keep himself stationary. Sommers then rolls around frantically, but no matter what he does, Malibu stays on him. Zack then converts his waistlock to a double chicken wing, and rolls Sly into a tiger bridge pin.......1.......2...Sly rolls back to a seated position, albeit still stuck in the double chicken wing. Sly attempts to bridge up to his feet, but Zack places his right foot in front of Sly, and shoves him down for a legsweep. MC Zack is out-wrestling Sommers at every opening. Zack then rolls back into another tiger bridge, and goes for the cover............1................2...............kickout! Sly then rolls back to a seated position and repeatedly moves in a circle so that Zack can't trap his legs to complete the double chicken-wing. Zack eventually keeps Sly in one place by hopping up, and locking in a bodyscissors. Sly pushes down on Zack's thighs to get out of the hold, but Zack's legs are too strong to power out of. Sly then attempts to roll out, but again Malibu keeps his legs locked together to keep the bodyscissors applied. CABOOSE He has to be cutting off the blood supply to the upper-body of Sommers. Sommers then leans back to trap Malibu's shoulders to the canvas.........1.....Zack pushes himself back up. Sly then tries for it again, struggling to get backwards momentum. He finally does, and bridges to keep Zack down.........1.........2.....Zack kicks out, and rolls Sly into a side headlock. Malibu then pulls Sly to his feet using the side headlock, and nails a beautiful headlock takeover. Malibu keeps the headlock applied, but Sly attempts to reverse with a headscissors. But, with every attempt, Malibu puts his arm up and shoves Sly's leg away. Sommers then attempts to pin Zack down on his shoulders, but Malibu scissors Sly's far arm so that he can't use it to shove him down. MC Zack's been at this far longer than Sommers, and therefore knows so many more little tricks than his former student. Sly's back on his stomach, but he places his palms on the mat and pushes out of the headlock. Zack immediately hops off of the mat and locks in a waistlock, but the momentum sends both men into the ropes, forcing a rope break. Both men then go to opposite sides of the ring, and come to the center again. They lock hands to begin a Greco-Roman knucklelock, but Sly twists Zack's arm after they lock fists for the first one, but Zack reverses the wristlock by dropping to his knees and pulling Sly down into a fireman's carry takedown. Zack goes for a chinlock, but Sly twists out immediately, and hops to a front facelock. Sly pulls Zack up to a bent position, and nails a sunset flip...............1..................2..............Zack rolls out, and goes for Sly's leg. But, Sly pulls Zack in for a small package.......1.........2.....kickout! CABOOSE The student might surpass the teacher, you morons! Both men come to their feet, and Zack goes for a double-leg takedown. But, Sly comes up above Zack, and hooks Zack's waist. So, Zack lifts Sly, and drives him down into the mat back-first. Zack then climbs on top of Sly in the guard position, and starts giving him a series of stiff palm strikes to the side of Sly's face. Zack then goes for a keylock, but Sommers elevates his knees and sends Malibu over with a form of a monkey flip. Sly then rolls back into a front choke. MC I'll give credit where credit is due...Sommers is currently finding holes in his former trainer's game that might have come with some cockiness due to his domination early on. Malibu uses his leg strength to reverse that by rolling it into a Northern Lights bridge........1..........2.........Sly gets his shoulder up, and then grabs Zack's neck and twists it for a reverse cravate. Zack tries pulling his head out, but he can't. So, he twists his entire body, escapes, and locks in a front chancery (front facelock with one arm hooked). Zack rises to his feet with Sly, and Sly charges Zack backward, sending both men through the top and middle ropes, and out of the ring! MC I think the aggression's starting to set in! The referee then orders that both men split apart and come back into the ring. They begrudingly seperate, and go back to their corners. They both go for another knucklelock, and get one fist locked together. Zack then uses that to attempt to lift Sly on his shoulders. But, Sommers slips out the back end, and locks in a half-nelson. Sly then slips underneath the arm, and brings Zack over with an armdrag. Sly then then tries to hold Zack's arm out flat to drop his knee on, but Zack gets out of this predicament by repeatedly delivering knees to the side of Sly's head. Zack then rolls the move into a crossface chickenwing. COACH Zack's not nearly out yet! Zack can't get the move all the way over due to Sly hooking onto his leg with the free arm. Zack transitions that failed attempt into a schoolboy, but Sly brings Zack over and into a cross armbreaker before the referee can come down to count. Zack pushes himself onto his feet, and lifts Sly up, dropping him quickly with an inverted powerbomb-like drop. Zack turns Sly around, and attempts a katzahajime choke. But, Sly rolls over and hooks Zack's legs for a cradle pin..............1...................2................Zack reverses the move into a headscissors. MC Malibu's coming out of all predicaments with a reversal! Sly gets out of the hold by repeatedly punching Zack's right leg. Once the hold is broken, it gives him the window of opportunity to come to his feet and attempt a standing ankle crank. But, Zack then attempts a front kick with the free leg. Sly grabs the leg, but Zack uses that to pull himself off of the mat, and use Sly's own body against him defensively. Zack then repeatedly delivers headbutts to Sly's forehead, with the fifth sending Sly falling to his back, with Zack landing on top of him in the guard position. COACH The more things change, the more they stay the same... CABOOSE Will you shut up? Zack then puts his shins near Sly's elbows, and repeatedly delivers knee strikes to Sly's face. Zack then hooks Sly's head, and leans backwards for a front choke. But, Sly is able to push outward with his legs and bridge for a pin......1........almost two! Both guys then roll sideways, and end up with their legs intertwined for dueling frog headstands. Zack and Sly then exchange stiff palm thrusts to each other's faces. Back and forth they go with the strikes, before both men fall to their backs. Both men come back to their feet, and Sly rolls Zack onto his back with a side waistlock, and then pins him with a schoolboy............1...........2......kickout! MC Nice fluenty by Sly. CABOOSE Use English next time, buddy. Zack keeps ahold of Sly, and rolls that into an inverted La Magistral...........1..........2........kickout! Both men get back up, and Sly grabs on with a reverse waistlock. Zack reverses with a standing switch. Zack then hooks Sly's head, and brings him over with an odd reverse snapmare. Zack immediately follows up with a basement dropkick. Zack then drops to the mat, and locks in a front facelock. Zack transitions that into a horizontal electric chair headscissors, which he then rolls into a victory roll cradle.......1.................2...............Sly rolls to his side. Zack struggles, and rolls Sly back on his shoulders.........1...........2.......Sly bridges himself upward. He uses his vantage point with his arms underneath Zack's knees to push up and roll Zack onto his stomach. Sly then applies a headlock. COACH This has become a much more mat-based contest than I would imagine, possibly due to the history between these two in Zack's training school. Sly stands with the headlock, but Zack gets out of it by putting his leg in front of Sly's and shoving him onto his stomach. Zack then applies a headlock of his own. Sly can't squeeze out of it, so he lifts Zack in hopes of dropping him with a back suplex. But, Zack reverses that by rolling Sly over and onto his back with a headlock takeover. Sly can't squeeze out, so he wraps his arms around Zack's waist, and brings him over for a side cradle............1............2........kickout! Both men rise back up, and Zack plasters Sly with a forearm so hard that it sends Sly through the ropes and to the floor! MC He just MURDERED Sly with that shot! Zack climbs to the ringside floor. Sly is bent over in pain, and Zack charges at him, connecting with a stiff kick to the side of his head! The impact of the kick spins Sly around into the guardrail. Zack then lifts Sly, and crotches him on the guardrail. Zack then steps back to about eight-ten feet away from Sly. Zack charges forward, and dives into Sly, sending both of them into the crowd! COACH I think Zack's determined to kill Sly Sommers, even if it means hurting his own body in the process! Zack gets up, and tosses Sly back to the floor at ringside. Zack then grabs a beer from a fan and climbs over the guardrail. When Sly stumbles to his feet, Zack attempts to hit Sly with it. But, Sly kicks Zack's hand, and the beer goes flying into his own eyes. Sly then grabs Zack by the back of the head, and shoves his head into the ringpost. Sly tosses Zack into the ring, and climbs back in himself. Sly then lifts Zack off of the mat with a cravate. Zack shakes the cobwebs off, and reverses with another waistlock. MC Look at this skill...they go outside the ring to fight, but yet they still come back to prove themselves skill-wise. Sly can't squeeze out of the waistlock, so he performs a go-behind and locks in a reverse cravate. Zack slowly twists his head, and pulls out. He keeps ahold of Sly's wrist and pulls him in for the School's Out Superkick. Sly ducks, and grabs the leg that Zack threw the kick with. Sly then trips up Zack, and slams his leg down repeatedly on the mat. MC It looks like Sly is targetting Zack's leg so Zack cannot connect with either his signature superkick or Shining Wizard. CABOOSE Sly Sommers, like I've said time after time, is the thinking man's wrestler. Sly then places Zack's leg on the second rope, and stomps at it five times in a row. Sly then runs, comes off of the ropes, and tries to dropkick Zack's leg. But, Zack moves his leg and Sly lands on the back of his neck. Zack then pulls Sly up, and shoves him into a corner. Zack nails Sly with a series of loud, stiff chops that end up making Sly's chest look like bloody meat. Zack then pulls Sly out of the corner, and whips him off to the ropes. Zack nails a drop toe hold, sending Sly onto his stomach. Zack then nails two snap legdrops, coming off of the ropes both times. He finishes up with a brutal jumping kneedrop. COACH He's not trying to beat Sly; he's trying to injure him. Zack sits Sly up, and delivers a series of brutal crossface shots to Sly's head. Zack then pulls Sommers to his feet, and sends him back down with a stiff European uppercut. Zack sits Sly up again, and delivers a series of stiff spinal tap kicks to Sly's back. Zack then takes off, bounces off of the ropes, and delivers a stiff knee to Sly's face, busting his eye open in the process. CABOOSE Look what you people's supposed "hero" has done! MC All's fair in war...no love involved here. Zack then drags Sly over to the corner, where he places him face-first on the bottom turnbuckle. Zack then grabs the top rope with both hands, and repeatedly jumps on Sly's back with both feet. Zack steps off, and walks to the center of the ring. Zack then runs, and nails a devastating basement dropkick to the back of Sly's head! Zack then pulls Sly out of the corner, and slams him in such a way that he's able to kick the back of Sly's neck as Sly comes down. Zack quickly climbs to the second rope, and connects with a falling headbutt. COACH I don't see Sly surviving such a brutal beating! Zack goes for the cover..............1............2..........kickout! Zack angrily pulls Sly to a seated position, and delivers three double-knees to the back of Sly's head. Zack then pulls Sly up, and delivers a snap suplex. Zack holds on, pulls Sly up, and delivers a second. Zack holds on, pulls Sly up, and delivers a third. Zack then holds on, pulls Sly up, and nails an impressive Petey Williams Neckbreaker (swinging neckbreaker out of suplex position)! Zack holds on, and rolls back to his feet. He hooks Sly's neck alone, and drops him with a DDT! MC That was an excellent chain of manuevers by Zack Malibu! COACH That last DDT left a blood stain on the mat from the cut on Sly's eye! Zack then stands on Sly's hair and yanks up on his arm, hurting him in a very disrespectful way. Zack pulls Sly up, and repeatedly headbutts him in the head, each headbutt stiffer and more hard-hitting than the one before it. Zack then hooks his dazed opponent, and drives him back down to the mat hard with an STO. Zack goes for the cover................1...............2.........rope break! Zack pulls Sly up, and forearms him in the face to send him to the outside again. Zack goes to the apron, and waits for Sly to rise to his feet. When Sly groggily stumbles upward, Zack gets a running start, leaps off, and nails a flying knee strike to the back of Sly's head, sending Sly face-first onto the concrete! CABOOSE Come on...Sly's out on his feet! MC I think Zack won't stop until Sly is out, period! Zack pulls up Sly, and slams him on the concrete floor back-first with a snap suplex. Zack then takes the timekeeper's chair. He sets it up near Sly, and pulls Sly to his feet. He then hooks Sly's head, and drops him face-first on the chair with a DDT, opening a wound right above the bridge of Sly's nose. Zack pulls up Sly, and drops him face-first on the top of the guardrail with a Snake Eyes, trying to open the wound even further. Zack then knees Sly in the gut, and drops him in a seated position. Zack then throws a series of rapid-fire punches, with each landing right on the freshly-opened wound. Zack follows up with a sick field goal kick to Sly's jaw. Zack notices that his right hand is covered with Sly's blood. Zack then rubs a line of the blood under each eye, creating some sort of sadistic warpaint with it. MC To think, this is how far Sly's gotten into Zack's head! He hates the guy so much that he's using his blood for warpaint! Zack then tosses Sly back into the ring. Zack re-enters himself, and pulls Sly up. Zack sends Sly off to the ropes. Sly bounces off, and attempts for a flying headscissors. Zack catches Sly midway, and reverses with a Flatliner. Malibu pulls Sly up, and picks him up in slam position. Zack then drops Sly with a front slam, right in front of a corner. Zack climbs to the middle rope, and drops a Vader Bomb-style elbow drop. Zack goes for the cover..............1...............2...........Sly barely kicks out! Zack angrily pulls Sly to his feet, and goes for a suplex. However, Sly slips out of the back end, and brings him over for a schoolboy while holding the tights........................1.............................2.................ki ckout! Both men come back up, and Sly scores again with a tornado DDT. Sly goes for the cover...............1................2...........kickout! CABOOSE My boy's got some fight left in him! Both men come back up, and Sly goes for a punch. Zack ducks under, and spins Sly around. Zack lifts Sly, and drops him with an inverted atomic drop. Zack then chains that move with his next one, the Bareback. Zack then takes time to look to the crowd and encourage them to cheer. Most do, but some are bewildered by Zack's harder edge in this match. MC It seems like some of Zack's fans don't like this new Zack Malibu. Zack then jumps to the second rope, and nails a beautiful moonsault. Zack goes for the cover...........1............2........kickout! Zack frustratedly pulls Sly up, and hooks his head in reverse DDT position. He then brings him over for a reverse suplex. Zack turns it over, lifts Sly up, and drops him with another. Zack turns that over, pulls Sly up, and drops him with a third reverse suplex. Zack then turns it over, lifts Sly up, and drops him with an impressive split-legged Curtain Call. COACH Zack's really shown off his chaining skills in this contest, throwing together many moves for chain-like sequences. Zack then climbs to the second rope yet again, and comes down with a big double-stomp, bringing all of his weight down on Sly's mid-section. Zack then pulls Sly up, and puts him in gutwrench position. Zack then lifts Sly, and drops him with a tombstone-style reverse Styles Clash slam. Zack rolls Sly into a victory cradle..........1..............2..........kickout! Zack lifts Sly up, and while holding him up with his hair, stiffly forearms him in the back of the head. Zack then lifts Sly up for a side suplex, and drops him on his knee with a backbreaker. Zack then hooks Sly's neck, and brings him down with a swinging neckbreaker. Zack sits Sly up, and tries to go for a Hennig Neck Snap. But, Sly rolls onto his back, and catapults Zack with a monkey flip! COACH I'm going to commend Sly for his performance in this contest. Zack's given him all he has, and he's been busted open twice so far. I doubt he can see well out of that cut eye, but he's giving it his all and is still in the game! Both men come back up, and Sly charges at Zack. But, Zack moves and Sly goes shoulder-first into the ringpost so hard that he rolls over the middle rope and out of the ring. Zack then shakes off his cobwebs, and goes to the outside. Zack pulls Sly up, and lifts him in an electric chair. Zack then drops Sly throat-first across the top of the guardrail. Zack slaps Sly in the back of his head, making Sly slide his positioning on the guardrail from his throat to his mouth. Zack then holds Sly's head there, and forearms him in the back of the head, causing two of Sly's teeth to crack! MC He practically curbed him! CABOOSE I had no clue Zack Malibu was in American History X! Zack then lifts Sly up in a side suplex-like manner, and drops him face-first on the guardrail again, increasing the bloodflow coming out of Sly's already-crimson forehead. Zack then tosses Sly into the ring. Zack climbs in himself, and pulls Sly off of the canvas. Zack hooks Sly's head over his shoulder, and brings him down with a Joe Legend-like Stone Cutter! Zack goes for the cover............1.............2.........the referee notices that Sly's leg is underneath the bottom rope, and forces a rope break. COACH With his veteran expertise, I'm surprised Zack made such a mental error! MC In the heat of the battle, sometimes you don't think too much. CABOOSE What would YOU know about battle, you shrink-wrapped Ryan Seacrest ripoff? Zack pulls Sly off of the canvas, and now all of Sly's hair is soaked in his own blood. Zack then hooks both of Sly's arms, and drives him down on his knee with a double-underhook face drop. Zack then takes off to the ropes, and kicks a bent Sly in the side of the head. Sly spins around from the impact, and walks right into an Exploder suplex from Zack. Zack goes for the cover............ 1................. 2................. Kickout! Zack can't believe that Sly, in his dazed, bloody, battered state, was somehow able to kick out. Zack punches the mat in frustration. Zack then slowly pulls Sly up, and places Sly's head in between his legs. Zack lifts Sly up for a powerbomb, but Sly slips out the front end and drops Zack with a DDT out of nowhere! Both men slowly and groggily come back up, and Sly goes for a sunset flip. But, Zack rolls out and onto his feet, dropkicking Sly in the face as soon as the bottoms of his feet touch the canvas. COACH I think Sly's too de-energized at this point in the contest to base a full-blown comeback, but he does get brownie points for trying. Zack pulls Sly up, and hooks him in a pumphandle. Zack then puts his leg out in front of Sly's, and drops him back with an inverted Russian legsweep. Zack tries to float that into a brainbuster, but Sly repeatedly blocks the lift. So, Zack knees Sly in the mid-section. Zack then places Sly's head in between his legs, and goes for Sly's own Piledriver finisher. But, Sly pushes himself outward in mid-lift, and lands on his feet. Zack charges at Sly, but Sly brings him up and down with a turning sitdown slam! MC Great turnaround, but I don't think Sly has enough gas in his tank to capitalize on this opening. Zack and Sly both lackadazily come to their feet. Zack walks over to Sly, and throws a punch. Sly blocks it, and throws one of his own. Zack cocks back, and then goes for another punch. Sly blocks it and throws another punch of his own. Zack holds his jaw in pain, and then goes for another. Sly blocks it, and then rips into Zack with a bevy of rapid-fire punches and chops! Sly then takes a step back and yells at nothing to pump himself up...but then falls back due to lack of energy. Zack falls down a second later from momentum from Sly's strikes. CABOOSE If Sly would just get off of his ass and do something, we could have a new World Champion! Both men slowly get to their feet. When they're both up, Sly runs at Zack and goes for a crucifix. But, Zack reverses by lifting Sly onto his shoulders, and dropping him with a Death Valley Driver. Zack then goes for a cover after a long break................1...................2...................kickout! Zack slowly pulls Sly up, and lifts him up for a slam. Zack then tosses him back for a fallaway slam, but Sly gains his own momentum on the way back and brings Zack over for a schoolboy.....1...........2............kickout! MC Sly Sommers is showing way more heart in this match than I thought he had in him! Both men come back up, and Zack knees Sly in the side of the head as he attempts to get to his feet. Zack then goes to the apron. Zack slingshots himself over the top rope, and nails a slingshot somersault legdrop. Zack decides not to go for the cover, and instead drapes Sly over his back, and brings him down with a 3.0 Backbreaker. Zack then pulls Sly up, and lifts him for a slam. Zack then spins Sly around, and drops him with a Franchiser. Both men pop to their feet, and Zack nearly takes Sly's head off with a stiff lariat! MC Like Sly needed any more reasons to be out cold! Zack pulls Sly to his feet, and lifts him so that he's seated on the top turnbuckle and facing the crowd. Zack walks to the opposite corner, and then charges forward. But when he reaches Sly, Sly leans back, hooks Zack's head over his shoulder, and pushes outward for an inverted Stunner! Both men groggily and slowly make their way to their feet. When they do, Zack charges at Sly. But, Sly sidesteps and trips Zack, causing Zack to go flying face-first into the middle turnbuckle. Sly then pulls Zack up and out of the corner, and brings him back with a Russian legsweep! COACH Maybe Sly DOES have something left! Sly then intertwines his legs with Zack, and locks in a weird figure-four variation, with the legs folding at an acute angle. Zack tries to punch Sly, but Sly leans back so that Zack cannot reach him. Zack then slowly has to push himself to the ropes, pulling Sly's weight along with him. Zack eventually gets near the ropes, and reaches out to grab the bottom rope. Sly breaks the hold, but keeps ahold of Zack's leg. Sly wraps the leg of Zack's that he is working over around his, and nails three repeated jumping legdrops onto the canvas, crushing it each time underneath his weight. CABOOSE Sly's brilliant here...he's using offense as defense...as offense! Sly then waits for Zack to get to his feet, and stands behind him. Zack slowly gets up, using the ropes to pull himself up. Sly then charges from behind Zack, and nails a chop block to the knee. Sly then grabs the weakened leg, and goes for a spinning toe hold. But, after the second twist, Zack pulls Sly in and reverses with a small package.................1.....................2..................kickout! Both men come up, and Sly tries ducking a back elbow attempt from Zack. But, Malibu uses that to put Sly in a reverse DDT. Sly reverses, and signals for his One Hit Wonder. But, when he goes for it, Zack twists out. Zack keeps ahold of Sly's wrist, and tries pulling him in for the superkick. But, Sly catches the leg, spins Zack around, and lifts him for the Sommerset. Zack gets out of that by kicking Sly in the back of the knee. Sly falls to one knee, and Zack goes for his Zack Attack. But, Sly ducks the knee and brings Zack over for a backslide..............1...................2............kickout! MC Incredible sequence of moves, especially considering what these two have been through already! Both men come back to their feet. Sly locks in a waistlock, but Zack immediately breaks his grip and spins him around to be in front of Zack. Zack then kicks Sly in the stomach, and hooks him for the P.O.P. Drop. But, Sly is able to grab onto Zack's leg upon mid-lift, and reverses with a small package......... 1..................... 2...................... Kickout! MC Very close one there! We almost had a new champion! Both men come back up, and Zack kicks Sly in the stomach. Zack then hooks Sly's head, and drops him with a swinging split-legged neckbreaker. Zack then sits on the mat and rubs his knee, even pulling down his kneepad to try and make his knee feel better. MC I knew Sly had worked on his knee a little bit in this contest, but I didn't know it was injured this bad. CABOOSE That's probably one of the secrets that Sly knows about Zack that no one else does. Maybe he has bad knees! Zack slowly comes to his feet, and pulls Sly up. Zack then hooks Sly's head, and locks in the California Dream. Sly saw it coming, and immediately starts striking punches and high knees at Zack's head to attempt an escape. The last high knee catches Zack right on the jaw, and sends him back dazed. Sly gets to his feet, and lifts Zack up in a piggyback position. Sly then drops him with the Sommerset! COACH This could be it! Sly goes for the cover..... 1................... 2.................... thr...KICKOUT! CABOOSE Admit it: Sly almost became our new World Champion! MC I have no problem admitting that. He's worked his ass off throughout this entire match, and showed a lot of heart. Sly immediately pops up, and goes for another pin attempt with an Oklahoma Roll...... 1............... 2............... Kickout! Both men come back up, and Sly attempts to launch himself for a sunset flip. But, Zack backs up a step and catches Sly with a punch to the kidney. Sly goes down to one knee, holding his side in pain. Zack then quickly limps over to Sly and hits him with a weak Zack Attack, having to use his bad leg to hit Sly. Zack goes for the cover......... 1................. 2................ Kickout! Zack then waits for Sly to get to his feet. It takes a while, but he finally does. Sly stumbles around for a while, and Zack charges at him. Zack goes for the Yakuza Kick as Sly turns around, but Sly catches the leg, scores with a single-leg takedown, and locks in the Figure Four Leglock! COACH With the state of Zack's leg as it is, we could see a new World Champion right here! Zack tries to struggle through the pain. But, it eventually becomes too much, as he has to lay on his back to handle it. The referee counts his shoulders down to the mat...............1.............2...........Zack sits back up. Sly then pushes himself upward with his hands to increase the pain on the Figure Four, and Zack again has to lay back down to handle the pain. The referee counts his shoulders again.............1................2............Zack sits up. Zack attempts to turn the move over, but Sly's got it cinched in good enough that he cannot tip it over. Zack then starts pulling himself backward in an attempt to get to the ropes. Sly tries grabbing the thin carpetting that covers the ring mat in order to keep the move intact, but he can't get a good grip, and Zack slowly crawls to the ropes, granting himself a rope break. COACH What a struggle on that Figure Four Leglock! CABOOSE I'm sweating bullets here! Sly pulls Zack out of the ropes, and goes for the Figure Four again. This time, Zack shoves Sly off with his free leg as he is applying the hold, sending Sly face-first into the top turnbuckle. Zack hops back up, and goes for a shaky, slow School's Out Superkick. But, Sly catches the leg, and spins Zack around. He then hooks Zack from behind, and nails the USA High Angle Backdrop! Sly hooks Zack in a ball-and-chain for the pin....... 1................. 2................. THR...KICKOUT! MC He almost had him! CABOOSE To all the doubters...kiss my ass! Sly then gets to his feet, and slides his thumb across his throat, signalling for the Cut Day. Sly pulls Zack up, and lifts him for the Cut Day. But, Zack rolls out, lands on his feet beside Sly, and kicks him in the stomach. Zack then lifts Sly for the P.O.P. Drop, but his knee gives out mid-lift, and Sly lands on top of Zack on the fall, creating a pin opportunity.... 1.............. 2.............. Kickout! Sly slowly gets to his feet, and signals for the One Hit Wonder. Sly pulls Zack up, and hooks Zack's head underneath his armpit. Zack twists his head out, gets to a standing position in front of Sly, and tries to pull him in for the School's Out Superkick. Sly ducks underneath Zack. Taking advantage of his positioning, Sly grabs Zack, lifts him on his shoulders, and nails the Cut Day! Sly drapes his arm over Zack for the cover...... 1............. 2............. KICKOUT! Sly slowly gets up, and slaps himself in the face to get pumped up when he does. Sly pulls a dazed Malibu to his feet, and attempts to go for the USA High Angle Backdrop again. Zack punches Sly in the top of his head as he attempts to lift him. Zack then twists around, and locks Sly in a front facelock. Zack then drops Sly with a DDT. Zack keeps ahold of it, and rolls through; back onto his feet. Zack then drops Sly with a second DDT. Zack again holds on, and rolls through, back onto his feet. Zack drops Sly with a third DDT, as one of the cuts on his face that had clotted and dried up gets re-opened. Zack keeps ahold of the front facelock, and rolls back up again, pulls Sly up with him. Zack then lifts Sly and plants him with an implant DDT. COACH I think Zack is actually going for murder here, despite our sarcastic remarks about it earlier. Zack goes for the cover........... 1............. 2............. Zack pulls Sly off the mat. MC What was that? This is a new side to Zack we're seeing here. Zack pulls Sly up just enough so that he's only on one knee. Zack backs up a bit, and goes for the Zack Attack. But, Sly ducks when Zack tries launching the knee strike. Both men are so close to the ropes that Zack's leg goes flying outside the boundaries of the ring, and crotches himself on the middle rope. Sly livens himself up, and grabs Zack, lifting him for the Cut Day. Zack punches Sly in the face three times to get out, and then rolls out and onto his feet. Zack then connects with a stiff forearm to Sly's face. MC That'll liven up a match! Sly holds his jaw for a second, and then angrily throws a stiff forearm to Zack's face. Zack holds his face, and then cocks back and gives Sly another forearm to the face. Sly has to take a step back from the forceful impact, but then yells and gives Zack three quick forearms to the face in a row! CABOOSE I think it's getting a bit snug in the ring. MC Potatoes for everybody! Both stagger back for a second, and then have the same idea and throw forearms at each other's faces at the same time! Both men go down, and the count starts... 1............... 2................ 3................ 4................. 5.................. 6................. Both men start slowly crawling to their feet... 7.................. 8.................. Both men are back up. Zack immediately charges, and goes for the School's Out Superkick yet again. But, Sly ducks. However, Zack does connect...with the referee! MC The ref is out! The ref is out! COACH The rules are no longer "relaxed"...they're non-existant! Zack turns around, practically ignoring the referee that he just knocked out with his superkick. Zack then walks right into a kick to the stomach from Sly. Sly then lifts Zack up, and drops him with the piledriver! Sly goes for the cover, not realizing that the referee is unconcious. MC It's safe to say that, if Zack hadn't of knocked out the referee, we would have a new World Heavyweight Champion. Sly keeps the pin attempt going for about fifteen seconds, and then goes to check on the referee. Sly smacks the referee in the back of the head, shakes him, and does everything else to wake the ref up. He sees Zack groggily getting to his feet out of the corner of his eye, and turns around. Sly then pulls his patented chain out of his tights, and wraps it around his fist. Sly swings back, but then stalls and looks down at his fist. MC Sly looks like he's a bit cautious about using the chain. CABOOSE Knock the yuppie's head out of the park, Sly! Sly then swings his fist back again, and takes the step forward for the punch. But, Sly again stops himself. Sly looks down at his fist, and seems to be contemplating his use of the chain. Sly then shrugs his head, and grabs Zack by the hair with his non-chained hand. Sly swings back, and keeps his arm held back for at least ten seconds. Finally, after even looking around at the crowd who are yelling at him not to do it, Sly shoves Zack down and drops his chain. COACH I can't believe it...Sly Sommers actually did the right thing for once. CABOOSE There's no way...he has a concience? Wimp. Sly then pumps his fist in the air, and yells out "PILEDRIVER, BITCH!". He actually gets a good amount of cheers from the crowd, who seem to be softening up to Sly after his last decision. Sly grabs Zack, and puts his head in between his legs. But, Zack drops down and delivers a low blow to Sommers, which actually garners scattered boos from the audience. Zack then picks up Sly's chain, and punches him with it! CABOOSE Finally, Zack has come to the dark side! COACH I honestly doubt that. Zack's become more rough-edged over the past couple of months, and isn't afraid to do whatever it takes to take out a heated rival! CABOOSE Believe what you want... Zack then tosses the chain into Sly's tights, as the boos become more increasing. Zack then pulls Sly up, lifts him, and drops him with the P.O.P. Drop! The referee awakens at the impact, and turns around for the cover........ 1.................. 2.................. 3! BUFFER Your winner, and STILL OAOAST Heavyweight Champion of the WOOOOOOOOOOOOORLD!...Zack Malibu! (scattered boos amongst the cheers and confusion) CABOOSE Your guy's "boy" had to stoop to "my" level, to Sly's "level" to get the job done. MC I'll be quite honest with you...that wasn't a clean win, and quite frankly, Sly had the victory in his back pocket. But, Zack said in March that he would let no one walk over him anymore, even if it meant breaking out some dubious means to get the job done. COACH That was a little strange, but I'll give Zack the benefit of the doubt. He's not the type of guy to do something like that for heinous means. Zack cradles his World Title belt while seated in the corner, as the referee assigned to this match and another help Sly to his feet. Sly limps over to Zack, and extends his hand in respect. Zack looks at Sly, and shakes his head. Sly then walks off, both in pain and disappointed. All of a sudden, a large portion of the audience start applauding him out of respect, and a small "Sly!" chant even forms. MC Well, I never though I'd see the day when these fans would be giving Sly Sommers, of all people, this kind of respect. COACH You must admit, he showed more heart and determination here than most men would in this situation. If Sly acts like this more often, I wouldn't mind seeing him as a full-time top guy in the OAOAST. CABOOSE Sly's gone soft. I've said it...I think he's going soft. MC "Going soft" and doing the right thing are two totally different things, you idiot. Sly turns around, and acknoledges the fans as he walks out of the arena. Zack Malibu then climbs to the second rope, and poses with his title belt. Flashbulbs go off, as Zack gets a loud ovation, albeit scattered. MC I think, to these people, Zack might have committed a huge wrong tonight. But, I know that Zack'll explain his choices in this match soon enough, and all will be right. We're running out of time...for Jonathan Coachman and Caboose, I'm Michael Cole saying good night, and we'll see you on Thursday, as we'll crown new World Tag Team Champions on HeldDOWN~! The show closes with flashbulbs going off, as Zack poses in the middle of the ring with the World Title belt. (Fade into the logo) (Fade into advertisement for Mona Lisa's Smile on indemand pay per view)

WASHINGTON, D.C. The Nation's Capitol has experienced armageddon...OAOAST-style: Cars rolled on their sides, buildings on fire, etc. A "OAOAST" banner flies proudly above the Capitol building. Homeless people (mostly "career politicians"), stray cats and dogs roam the streets. Trashcans and cars are on fire to provide heat. While it seems chaotic, the people are having a blast. It's clear -- this is now property of the OAOAST. SWOOSH~! A cool breeze of air suddenly sweeps through this run-downed area. The dogs begin howling, the cats are screeching. A massive object flies through the air, as if it taken by the force of a tornado. BAM~! It falls into one of the burning trashcans, diposing of the fire. The object is a giant "A." Those around slowly approach the trashcan. LIGHTNING STRIKE~! The "A" goes up in flames. Everybody near the can is taken back. The dogs run off whimpering. THUNDERCLAP~! CUT TO: THE WHITE HOUSE - OVAL OFFICE We only see the backside of the President's chair, his face cannot be seen. A cloud of smoke roams the air -- the leader of the free world is obviously enjoying himself a cigar. The President laughs manically. Quickly, he spins his chair around. To reveal... PRESIDENT JESSE "THE BODY" VENTURA. PRESIDENT VENTURA Haha. Welcome to..."The Year of Living Angleously." He takes a hit of his cigar and releases a puff of smoke into the camera, and into -- for the first time ever -- our main title credits. OAOAST ENTERTAINMENT Presents... WRITTEN BY Zack Malibu Chuck Woolery Hoff Tony149 Mystery Eskimo SpiderPoet Papacita Phoenix Fury Legdrop Nice Guy Adam The #1 MST3K Mark NY Untouchable Damaramu Parka GRAPHICS Papacita OAOAST CREATED BY Anglesault CobainWasMurdered Tony149 EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS Zack Malibu Chuck Woolery NorthStar PRODUCED & DIRECTED BY Tony149 (The credits end and we cut to the interior of the MCI Center. LA's theme song "Boiler" by Limp Bizkit blares over the sound system as the camera pans the sold out building getting shots of the rabid wrestling hungry fans! Finally we settle on a shot of HD's announce team!) COLE Welcome to OAOAST Living Angleously! I'm Michael Cole, joined by Jonathan Coachman and Caboose. COACH Together we make up Triple C!, the OAOAST's premier announce team! CABOOSE Premier announce team? We're the OAOAST's ONLY announce team, punk ass! COLE And thank god for that, because we and we alone have the privilege of calling what looks to be awesome star studded pay per view. COACH But before we get to the matches, we go backstage to Josh Matthews who is with Colombian Heat. ::The camera cuts to The Lightning Crew dressing room. Colombian Heat is shown sitting in a chair putting on his referee shirt. Josh Matthews is standing next to him, annoying Heat.:: JOSH MATTHEWS: Colombian Heat, tonight you are serving as the Special Referee for the OaOasT Puerto Rican Championship Match between The Mad Cappa and Tha Puerto Rican. Now, it is a well-known fact that you are the second-in-command of The Lightning Crew, a group that is led, by YOUR best friend, Tha Puerto Rican. It is also known that you and The Mad Cappa have a history with each other, and Cappa has defeated you in the past, including the last match of The Lightning Crew Gauntlet which led to The Mad Cappa defeating Tha Puerto Rican to win the OaOasT Puerto Rican Championship. With all that in mind, can you guarantee that you will be an impartial referee in what is going to be the last match ever between Tha Puerto Rican and The Mad Cappa? Can you guarantee us that if The Mad Cappa pins Tha Puerto Rican, will you count the 1-2-3? COLOMBIAN HEAT: Are you high or something? What do I look like? A greedy crooked politician from America? Why are you questioning on whether or not I can call this match right down the middle? What? Just cuz I’m friends with Tha Puerto Rican? Boy, you is tripping, G! Let me holla at ‘cha for a sec. True, me and P.R. are tight, BUT, it’s not going to be affecting my judgment when we both step into the ring tonight, you know what I’m saying? When I ref this match, P.R. is not my friend, okay. He is just a wrestler fighting another wrestler. A GREAT wrestler. An intelligent, talented, and AWESOME wrestler. But a wrestler nonetheless. Sure, he is SO much better than The Mad CRAPPA, but that will NOT be stopping me tonight from calling the match fair and square. I give you my word. I SWEAR to GOD. That if The Mad Cappa covers Tha Puerto Rican….I…will….count…the 1…2…3. ::Josh Matthews starts to leave, but Colombian Heat grabs him by his hand and forces him to put the mic to his face. Heat looks directly into the camera with a sly smile on his face. The crowd boos loudly.:: COLOMBIAN HEAT: Oh yeah. HA! HA! I forgot. Cappa, just a little message for ya. You see, Vitamin X made some little “changes” to your and P.R.’s match-up. The match is now…a NO HOLDS BARRED match. ::The crowd boos.:: COLE: A No Holds Barred Match? That came out of nowhere? How’s Cappa going to prepare for that? HEAT: But WAIT! THERE’S MORE! If YOU, Mad Cappa, hit me in any part of my body, or if you even look at me funny, in any way, I will have to disqualified you and give the Puerto Rican Championship back to Tha Puerto Rican! COLE: Now come on! That’s not even fair! That is just a powerplay on behalf of Tha Puerto Rican! CABOOSE: That is pure genius, Cole! The pressure is all on The Mad Cappa. This is a match he MUST win! P.R. can still win even if Cappa is disqualified. This is wonderful! COLOMBIAN HEAT: So, boyee, you better get your stuff together. Good luck, yo. Because ::Heat pulls the OaOasT Puerto Rican Championship belt from his duffel bag and places it in front of him. He has an evil look on his face. The camera does a close-up of the title belt.:: You’ll need it. YEEEEEAAHHHHHHHHH BOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!! HA! HA! HA! HA! ::The crowd boos loudly and chants “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” The camera does a close-up of the OaOasT Puerto Rican Championship belt.:: COLE: This is just perfect. The Mad Cappa does not have the Puerto Rican Championship belt in his possession. And now, he must try not to hit Colombian Heat in any part of his body, or else be disqualified and have Tha Puerto Rican become the Puerto Rican Champion! CABOOSE: He can’t even look at him funny. He must ignore Colombian Heat and concentrate on Tha Puerto Rican if he wants to keep his Puerto Rican Title. Something tells me THAT is going to be pretty damn hard for Cappa. P.R. and Heat have put Cappa through hell these past few weeks, how can Cappa control his temper when he has Heat right there refereeing the match! This is just ingenious on P.R.’s part. P.R. and Heat are an unstoppable force. On their own, they are both incredible, but together, no one can match up to these two. They’re the dynamic duo like Batman and Robin! Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez! Chuck D. and Flava Flav! Penn and Teller! With P.R.’s intelligence and Heat’s speed, these two cannot be stopped, and The Mad Cappa will have to go through the two of them if he wants to retain his title and get back the Puerto Rican Title belt. I can smell a new Puerto Rican Champion already! COACH: What does it smell like? CABOOSE: Like hamburgers. It’s just an expression, you idiot! COACH: Oh. I’m hungry. COLE: Wait till after the show. COACH: AWWWW!!!