Patty O'Green

*We're taken backstage where Alix is walking in the back looking pretty angry. She's not even paying attention to where she's going because she ends up walking almost into a wall. She looks up around her. She's in some sort of a storage area with large holding cages lining each wall. And a large series of pipes running on the wall in front of her.* ALIX Oh god dammit. This stupid arena is like a maze. And it's dark here. I don't have time for this shit. *She puts her head in her hands and sighs when we hear the creaking of a gate behind her. She turns her head and looks back towards the opening gate and her eyes grow wide with fear as the shadow of a large man appears on the wall. She begins to slowly back up.* ALIX No......please don't hurt me. No.........no.........please.......... *Real tears are streaming down her face as she backs into the wall. She begins to feel behind her at the solid brick wall and then turns to try and see if there is any way out. She stops and realizes that she's trapped like a rat. The tears get bigger as she crouches to the ground while the shadow moves closer and closer.* ALIX PLEASE! Just go away! PLEASE! DON'T HURT ME! I'M SORRY! *The camera pans out as we see DAMARAMU standing there with a sadistic look on his face. In one hand he holds a lead pipe and he is slowly advancing on Alix without saying a word.* ALIX Get back! No! DAMARAMU Your crying and begging is just making me angrier. I despise cowards like you that can't stand up and take what's coming to them. Get on your feet or it's going to be worse.......I swear to god you'd better get on your fucking feet right now. *Alix begins to cry very loudly as she stands to her feet. She is still pressed up against the wall and she holds her hands in front of her.* ALIX Please........SOMEBODY HELP ME! DAMARAMU SHUT UP! I'm tired of your crying! Dry your tears little one....they'll be the last ones you ever cry. ALIX HELP ME! ANYONE! DAMARAMU Nobody can hear you this deep into the arena... *Damaramu lifts the pipe before giggling for a second and tossing it to the ground. Alix looks up smiling as if Damaramu is about to back off. Her smile quickly changes to an expression of pain as his foot comes flying up into her stomach.* DAMARAMU You make me sick......... *Alix grabs her stomach and slumps over but Damaramu is on her. He lifts her up by the hair and then grabs her throat picking her up against the wall by her throat.* DAMARAMU RYAN SMITH EMBARASSED ME THE PAST COUPLE OF WEEKS! EVERYONE THINKS I'M A JOKE! I AM NOT A JOKE! I AM DAMA-FUCKING-RAMU! ALIX(choking) Why me? DAMARAMU YOU SHOULD'VE DONE WHAT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO! YOU SHOULD'VE NEVER QUESTIONED MY FRIEND! NOW YOU PAY THE PRICE! *Damaramu turns tossing Alix almost over his head by the throat. She flies for a few feet before skidding to the ground. She appears to have busted her face open on the landing. She tries to stand as the blood drips to the ground but Damaramu is there again grabbing her and throwing her into the cage. She tries to fall over but he keeps her up with a couple of uppercuts to her face. She is now a bloody mess as he grabs her by her hair and drags her to the cage on the opposite wall slinging her into it. A box from on top of the cage comes down and hits her in the head as she slumps over to the ground knocked out cold. Damaramu seems to be letting up but then he comes back and delivers a hard kick to her while she's on the ground. He stands over her with his foot firmly planted on her throat choking her lifeless body.* DAMARAMU Now it's over........ *Damaramu lifts his fist high over his head ready to deliver a final blow when a hand comes from offscreen and grabs him by the wrist. He turns with a look of pure rage to see who has stopped him. His look turns to shock and then anger as he realizes who has ahold of him. The camera pans out to show Ryan Smith holding Damaramu and Charlie Hoss standing behind him.* SMITH You sick bastard........ DAMARAMU You dead men walking........... *Damaramu turns and flies at Ryan Smith taking him off of his feet. Both men end up on the ground throwing wild punches. However Charlie Hoss is there as he grabs Dama by the hair and tosses him off of Smith. Dama tries to get back to his feet but Smith rushes him taking him back down. Smith is on top of him laying punches and knees in as Hoss runs up. Smith backs off and Hoss lifts Dama by his throat. Dama however appears to be feeling no pain as he is like a wild animal swinging at Hoss's face. Hoss tosses him into the cage as he once again gets to his feet. Smith meets him head on delivering some hard punches that finally stagger the enraged Damaramu. Hoss stands to the side when suddenly the other cage door is kicked off of it's hinges! We turn to see that Skull Mask was hiding inside and he has taken the door off of the cage in his rage! Hoss turns to be attacked from the side by the monster. Hoss is immediately taken off of his feet. Skull Mask begins to lay clubbing forearms and hard kicks into the fallen Hoss. Hoss tries to stand but Skull Mask picks him up on his shoulders and runs straight at the brick wall. He drives Hoss into the wall with the force of a train. Hoss's eyes roll into the back of his head as Mask begins to lay hard headbutts into his face. Hoss is almost out but Mask continues to beat on him while he is pressed up against the wall.* SMITH CHARLIE! *Ryan Smith begins to head over to help his friend but Damaramu is right there.* DAMARAMU Never take your eyes off the ball Ryan! *Damaramu grabs the leg pipe he tosses aside earlier and runs up behind Smith delivering a hard blow to the back of his head with it. Smith is immediately taken off of his feet. Damaramu stands over the fallen Smith before bending down and lifting him off of his feet. He grabs him and slings him into the cage with enough force to shake the whole thing. The cage rattles as Smith hits the ground and a whole slew of boxes come falling down on top of Smith. Ryan is buried underneath them with only his head and one arm sticking out. Damaramu still holding the pipe squats down beside the struggling Smith.* DAMARAMU Listen good Ryan. I hate you. I hate everything about you. I want you gone from this business. I wouldn't go as far as to say I want you dead Ryan. No that'd be the easy way out. I just want you crippled for the rest of your life. That way you'll suffer......until the day you die. Who knows....maybe you won't be able to handle it and you'll KILL yourself. That'd make me really happy Ryan. To wake up one morning and find out that OAOAST star Ryan Smith has blown his own brains out all over his sleeping girlfriend. That'd be really great Ryan. Then I could die a happy man. *Damaramu leans in really close* Listen you son of a bitch. I've never been pinned. You've got a big task ahead of you at Wrestlemania. Because I've talked to Northstar. The only way to win our match is to PIN your opponent. That's right.......no DQ, no countout, and no Submissions. No I won't let you give up and take the easy way out. I'm going to pin you 1, 2, 3!And I've never been pinned pal...so you'll need to be better than me to pin me......and you aren't better than me. By no means are you better than me. I'll see you at Anglemania. SMITH Fuck you.......you're a deadman. DAMARAMU Wrong answer.....deadman. *Damaramu steps back and lifts the pipe high over his head ready to deliver another blow to the helpless Smith to finish him off for good when police sirens are heard in the background.* DAMARAMU SHIT! SKULL! LET'S GO! COME ON! *Skull Mask who is choking the unconcious Charlie Hoss looks up with no expression and then begins to run towards Damaramu. Both men stand together for a second looking down at the fallen Smith before they take off running as the sirens get louder. We go back to the scene of the crime as Charlie Hoss lays beaten agains the wall, Ryan Smith lays bloody under a pile of boxes and poor Alix is nearly dead against the cage in a pool of her own blood.* (CUT to the SC) Cole: Folks, I don't think words can describe what we just saw. I'm left totally speechless. Caboose: Well, I'm not! I'm a fan of Damaramu's, I've sung his praises before, I'll likely do so again. But his attack on Alix was deplorable and indefensible. No matter how much you admire Damaramu's killer instinct, you cannot find a way to justify what he's just done. Alix has been taken to a hospital, we don't know the extent of her injuries, but you don't have to be a doctor to know that she's in bad shape. Thank god Charlie Hoss and Ryan Smith were there to help, or we could be planning funeral arrangements. Just despicable. Cowardly and despicable. Coach? Coach: Peeps, we've seen a great deal of beatdowns since we've been doing the show. But this was far worse. Far worse then any we've seen. Alix Spezia is a wonderful girl, in an industry full of asshats she's usually one of the most down to earth and level headed people you'll meet. She didn't deserve this. No one deserves that. Damaramu should be suspended for a year. Just my opinion. Cole: For once we can agree on something. But fat chance he'll ever see a suspension. With he and Northstar planning this attack, he'll be getting a nice fat bonus check. Caboose: You think Northstar had something to do with this? Cole: Caboose, I wouldn't put it past him. Not at all. I'm getting word that he and his sister, Holly-wood have gotten into it over this incident. Regardless, the police are now looking for Damaramu and Skull Mask. We'll be back. Don't go away. (Go to break)

(Return from break) We cut to the back, where CWM is on a payphone. He's talking softly, and the conversation appears to be serious. As he speaks, Hoff, still in his ring gear, approaches him from behind and taps him on the shoulder. CWM glances back, then quickly says "hey, I'll call you back" and hangs up the phone. CWM turns around to face Hoff. HOFF So. You got your shit together? CWM No. I was TRYING to work on that now, but someone interrupted me. Hoff smirks. HOFF Yeah, I figured you might have some problems. Listen, just leave it to me. CWM looks suspicious. HOFF Listen, I know a guy who can do these kind of things, all right? I'll make a few calls. It shouldn't be a problem. CWM Why the hell should I trust you? HOFF Were you watching my match just now? CWM smiles thinly. CWM Oh yeah, big boy. I saw every minute of it. HOFF Then you know I'm serious. Both men's expressiosn turn dark. HOFF Listen to me-- CWM No, you listen. I'm gonna get you in that ring, you hear me? And when I do, I swear, you're going to regret everything you've done to me. You sorry son of a bitch. Hoff glares back at CWM...then steps back and smiles. HOFF I'll go ahead and make my calls. Rest up, buddy. You got a match coming, and you need to be ready... Hoff's expression once again turns serious. HOFF ...I wouldn't have it any other way. Hoff walks off as CWM stares down the hall. (Cut backstage, where Josh Matthews is standing by in the interview area with Rick Heyross and Brock Auustin.) JM: Rick, on Sunday night, March 28th, your man, Brock Auustin, will be involved in maybe not the first, but sure as heck the biggest, "Battle of the Giants", as he faces perhaps the biggest challenge to his throne as the bully on the block, St. Andrew's Gibraltar. Your thoughts? RICK: Anglemania...the biggest show of the year. Anglemania, the biggest show of all-time..... Out of nowhere, Gibraltar charges in from out of nowhere and nearly kicks Rick Heyross's head off with a running boot to the side of the head. JM: What the hell? (Gibraltar knocks Josh out with one forearm to the side of the head.) Brock and Gibraltar then start trading rapid-fire punches. They switch to forearms to the face, but no one really gets an advantage. Finally, Brock grabs Gibraltar's head, and starts slamming it into the wall behind him. But, before he can get much of an advantage, Saint Andrew comes from behind Brock and kicks him in between the legs. Brock turns around, grunts his way through the obvious pain to his groin, and then grabs Saint Andrew by the throat. Brock then lifts Andrew over his head in gorilla-press position. He then drops Andrew in F-Stunner-5 position, and starts heading to the ring. But, Gibraltar shakes off his pain, and paces to the ring behind them. Right as they come through the curtain, Gibraltar catches up, and forearms Brock in the shoulderblade-region in order for Andrew to escape Brock's clutches. Gibraltar connects with a few more forearms to the back, sending both of them down the aisle. But, three-fourths of the way down, Brock fights back with a series of punches to the face. They make it all the way down to the ring, brawling back-and-forth. Auustin charges at Gibraltar, but Gibraltar steps to the side, and Brock goes shoulder-first into the ringpost. Gibraltar then tosses Brock into the ring. Gibraltar steps into the ring as Brock struggles to his feet. Gibraltar knees Brock in the face, and then puts Brock's legs in between his legs. Gibraltar goes for a powerbomb, but Brock starts to punch Gibraltar in the face as he gets lifted. Brock eventually is able to punch his way to escape, and lands on his feet. But, as soon as Brock hits the ground, Gibraltar pulls a hammer out of his pocket, and BREAKS IT OVER BROCK'S HEAD! MC: My god! That's disgusting! CABOOSE: That's what I call "home improvement"! Brock's forehead becomes a faucet for blood, as it quickly covers most of his face. Gibraltar picks up the metal part, and starts scraping into Brock's forehead, trying to widen the cut. Eventually, a gigantic crew of referees, enhancement talent, and security come out to try and remove Gibraltar from the ring. It takes nearly the entire crew to remove Gibraltar's grip off of Brock, but they get him off. Gibraltar then begins to go after the motley crew that came out to remove him, but Andrew, obviously in pain, comes down to ringside, and orders that his monster come to the locker room. Gibraltar exits the ring, and follows Andrew to the back. MC: That is some scary power! CABOOSE: But what's the scarier power: Gibraltar's physical power, or Andrew's mental power over such a dangerous weapon in his war on sinners and gluttons? COACH: That's actually a really good question, Caboose. Both are freaky in their ways, but Andrew having total mind control over such a beast is definately scary. MC: Nonetheless, Brock Auustin is laid out center-ring in a puddle of his own blood, which might be the first time he's even been left in such a predicament in all of his time in wrestling! As the crew helps get Brock to the back for some help and cleans up the blood, let's take a commercial break. More hD~! in 3! (Go to break) (Return from break) MC: Up next should be an interesting contest. Last week, Northstar threw together a match for Anglemania III, set up to give the two most underrated wrestlers in this company the biggest opportunity in their careers. Peter Knight will be battling Sly Sommers from Totally Endorsed, with the winner going on to face the winner of the HeldDOWN~! World Title match at Anglemania III at Living Angleously in April. COACH: Whoever wins that match will be immediately elevated to main-event status in this company! MC: Tonight, Sly's partner-in-crime in Totally Endorsed, Colvid, will battle Knight in a preview of sorts for Anglemania. CABOOSE: It will be interesting to see how similar Knight will find Colvid and Sly in his strategy going into Anglemania. MC: With that being said, let's go to the ring for our next match! (The music hits, and out comes Colvid, accompanied by his stablemate Sly Sommers.) BUFFER: The following contest is set for one fall, and has a twenty-minute time limit. Introducing first, from Cleveland, Ohio...weighing in tonight at 230 pounds, accompanied to the ring by Sly "The Sly" Sommers; representing Totally Endorsed, he is Colvid! MC: Colvid has been out of action for about a month; let's see how rusty he is. ("Oh Hell Yeah" then starts up, as the blue strobe lights begin to shine, and out comes Peter Knight.) BUFFER: And his opponent...from Fall River, Massachusetts, he weighs in tonight at 230 pounds also....he is Peter Knight! COACH: Knight looks more focused going into Anglemania than I've ever seen him! (bell rings) Both men circle the ring staring at each other, and then lock up collar-and-elbow style in mid-ring. Colvid scores with a headlock, but PK sends him off to the ropes. Knight leapfrogs over Colvid, and Colvid bounces off the ropes on the other side. Colvid goes for a flying headscissors takedown, but Knight puts Colvid back down on his feet, and then nails a side headlock takedown. Colvid reverses with a headscissors, but Knight quickly kips out of that, as both men are back up. Colvid then draws Knight in with a side knee to the mid-section. Colvid sends Knight off to the corner as he chases, but Knight kips over Colvid, and brings him back with a state roll/prawn hold........1.............2........Colvid kicks out, sending PK shoulder-first into the ringpost. MC: Early in the match, and it looks like Knight's already gained a big handicap! Colvid gets to his feet as Knight turns around, grabs PK's hand, and pulls him in for a shoulderblock. Knight goes down, as Colvid steps on his arm with both feet. Colvid then jumps with both feet onto the shoulder area. Colvid pulls Knight up, and whips him off to the ropes. Colvid then grabs Knight by the arm, going for a single-arm DDT. But, Knight is able to place his leg behind Colvid, and reverse with an inverted STO. Knight then grabs Colvid's leg, and goes for a standing leglock. But, Colvid balances all of his weight back, and kips onto his free leg. However, Colvid keeps ahold of the leg, turns himself around, and nails an inverted Russian legsweep. COACH: I'm definately liking the reversal-fest here. Knight keeps ahold of the leg as he rises to his feet, and locks in the standing leglock he was originally going for. Colvid grabs onto the hand of Knight's that isn't pulling on his leg, and pulls himself up with it. Knight uses his leverage advantage to scoop Colvid up for a slam, but Colvid swings himself around, and drops Knight with a divorce court (single-arm DDT). Colvid then holds Knight's arm down to the mat, and drops repeated kneedrops onto the shoulder. Colvid pulls Knight up by the arm, and locks in an arm-wringer, pushing down on the shoulder with all of his weight. MC: Ever since Knight's shoulder connected with that ringpost early on, Colvid's been all over it! Knight tries to roll out of it, but when his back touches the mat, Colvid comes down with a legdrop on the shoulder. Colvid then comes up, and pulls PK to his feet by the arm. Colvid then chicken-wings the arm behind Knight's back, and slams him, dropping all of his weight down on the shoulder. Colvid follows up by simply kicking PK in the shoulder. Colvid pulls Knight up, and extends the arm. Colvid then, while holding the arm out, nails a perfect dropkick, placing all of the impact on the shoulder area. CABOOSE: Colvid's pulling every trick out of the bag to punish Peter Knight...and I love it! Knight crawls towards the ropes, but Colvid walks over to him, and repeatedly stomps the shoulder. Colvid pulls Knight up, and shoves him in a corner. Colvid then wraps Knight's arm around the top rope, and pulls down. Colvid lets go at the referee's command, but then backs up to mid-ring. Colvid charges forward, but Knight moves and Colvid misses with a flying avalanche. Colvid stumbles around, and walks right into a stomach kick/DDT combo from Knight. Peter goes for the cover.........1............2..........kickout! Knight pulls Colvid up, and goes for a suplex. Colvid slides out the back end, spins Knight around, lifts him, and drops PK with a shoulderbreaker. COACH: No better way to punish a body part than to just drop your opponent on it! Colvid goes for a pin, smothering the shoulder..........1............2.........kickout! Colvid then stands up, and pulls PK up to a bent-over position on his feet. Colvid then places the messed-up arm in between his legs, and instead of kicking Knight's face with the back kick, he aims and connects with the shoulder. Colvid keeps ahold of the arm, and nails an inverted Japanese armdrag; bridging back with it so all of his weight is pressured on Knight's shoulder. Colvid then pulls Knight up by the arm, and performs another bridging Japanese armdrag. Colvid pulls Knight up by the arm again, but this time, he drops Knight with an inverted shoulder-stunner. MC: Very reminescent of Zero-One competitor CW Anderson there! Colvid pulls Knight back up to his feet, and whips him off to the ropes. Colvid then goes for a hiptoss, but Knight goes for a standing switch into a hiptoss of his own. But, Knight's shoulder is too damaged to do anything, so Colvid is able to switch positioning, and grab ahold of Knight's hand. Colvid then pulls Knight in, and brings him right into a stiff knee to the shoulder region. Colvid then pulls Knight up immediately, and hooks him in a pumphandle position, making sure he torques the shoulder extra-well. Colvid then lifts PK up, and brings him down with a sit-down pumphandle powerbomb..........1.............2........kickout! COACH: No doubt about it; Colvid is breaking out all of the stops to try and take Peter Knight out! Colvid pulls Knight up again, and looks to be going for something with a double-underhook. But instead, he hooks the right arm with both arms, and yanks back to arch the bad shoulder at a horrendous angle. Colvid steps on the back of Knight's knee so that he kneels and the arm arches even worse. Knight suffers for a while before arranging himself so that he's able to roll forward, and bring Colvid down with a sunset flip.........1............2......kickout! Both men back up, Knight ducks a punch, and brings Colvid down with a fall-forward neckbreaker. COACH: The tide might be turning here! Knight pulls Colvid up, and connects with two forearms to the face. PK then whips Colvid off to the ropes, then latches his arm around Colvid's jaw, and brings him down with a swinging sleeper neckbreaker. Knight goes for the cover........1.........2........kickout! Knight pulls Colvid back to his feet, and goes for the Knightmare. But, Colvid sneaks out the back end, and locks in a waistlock. Knight reverses with a go-behind, spins Colvid around, and brings him right into the Knight Roll! MC: That was a devastating suplex and falcon arrow cycle! Knight goes for the pin..........1...........2.........kickout! Knight then goes up top. But, as soon as he scales to the top turnbuckle, Sly Sommers jumps up to the apron, obviously looking to shove PK off the top rope. But, the referee catches this early, and orders Sly to go back to the floor. This entire ordeal distracts Knight long enough that Colvid is able to get up and lunge himself into the top rope, crotching PK on the top turnbuckle. Colvid then climbs to the top turnbuckle, planning to bring Knight down. But, PK is able to mount a punch-only offense long enough that the force knocks Colvid off the ropes, and down onto the mat. PK then goes back to a standing position on the top rope, and nails a top rope legdrop! Knight goes for the cover................1..............2...............kickout! CABOOSE: Just a couple of high-impact moves won't keep Colvid down! Knight pulls Colvid up, and lifts him for the Knightmare again. Colvid slides out of the back end, and spins Knight around. Colvid kicks Knight in the stomach, and sets up for his signature jumping piledriver. But, PK is able to punch Colvid in the mid-section four times, and then reverses that into the Knightmare position again. PK's off...and he nails it! But, as he spun Colvid around, Colvid's feet accidentally collided with the referee's head, knocking him out. MC: We have no referee! COACH: Madness will ensue! CABOOSE: You're an overdramatic crybaby! Knight goes for the cover, not knowing that he accidentally knocked the referee out. Knight finally notices, and goes to check on the ref. Sly Sommers uses this opportunity to sneak into the ring. He creeps up on PK, but right before he touches Knight, Peter turns around, and punches Sly in the face. Knight nails three more punches to Sly's face before lifting Sly onto his shoulders and bringing him down with the Knightmare! On impact, a chain flies out of Sly's hand, and Colvid, who is slowly getting back to his feet, catches it. Knight rolls Sly out of the ring as Colvid gets to his feet and wraps the chain around his hand. Knight then turns around, and walks right into a chain-assisted punch from Colvid! Colvid then puts the chain inside of PK's pants, and the referee re-awakens to groggily start counting....... 1............ 2............ 3!!! BUFFER: The winner of this contest, Colvid! MC: Come on, what the hell was that? (Sly helps a groggy Colvid to the back, turning around to taunt Peter Knight every few steps.) CABOOSE: That's called "psyching the opponent out". These two are so even in what they can do in the ring that they have to be pulling out the mind games if they want a shot at the World Heavyweight Title in April! COACH: Actually, that's a smart plan. Knight and Sommers are both evenly matched competitors, and any edge possible going into a match with this big of an opportunity for the winner is a big one. MC: Well said. More hD~! in 3! COACH: Your formatting sucks! It's time to check in with FOSHI! (The camera fades in to a dark alley. It appears to be the later hours of the evening. For a less than desirable place to be at such a time, the alley is remarkably clean and upon seeing several signs, it becomes clear that this is a Japanese alleyway. The camera pans around a bit taking in the setting before focusing on a dark figure sitting against a wall. The man is staring forward with a blank expression and it becomes clear that it is once again Mongoose Foshi. The camera focuses solely on his facial expressions for a few more moments when he begins to stir. He stands up and begins to pace back and forth. At various points in his pacing, he stops and looks back in the original direction he was facing before pacing once more. He repeats this several more times before walking right up to the wall opposite the one he originally sat against. He looks closely at the wal before going back to pacing. He stops one final time and glances over at the wall again. Then, slowly he walks off towards the exit of the alley with his head down. The camera zooms back over to what he was staring at. On the wall is a large painting of a young man who closely resembles Mongoose. There is writing in Japanese at the top of the picture. Underneath in English reads: "RIP Kaz Foshi 1976-1999")

(Return from break) "Black" by Sevendust plays as the lights go down over the arena. A mix of cheers and boos rises up from the stands. BUFFER Making his way down the aisle, from Minneapolis, Minnesota, weighing in at 275 pounds, he is...HOFF!!! Hoff steps out onto the stage and surveys the crowd, some still booing, some still cheering. COLE Guys, Hoff requested this matchup specifically so he could keep himself in shape for his big match with CWM at AngleMania 3. CABOOSE IF it happens, Michael. Anyway, yeah, the next few weeks Northstar has agreed to let Hoff showcase his skills against the fine enhancement talent of HeldDown. I think I saw this guy in the ring flipping burgers at McDonalds a few weeks ago! COACH You eat at McDonalds? I didn't know they had those in Losertown. Caboose smacks Coach upside 'da head as the cameras cut to Tom "Capital" Goran, already in the ring. Goran stretches his neck as Hoff strides down the aisle, jawing with the fans. COLE Well, Hoff has really seemed to gain a lot of confidence, but I guess he wants to get ready, or stay ready, for CWM at Anglemania. CABOOSE IF IT HAPPENS!! Geez, I bet CWM isn't even at 10%, no one would clear him to wrestle. Hoff rolls into the ring and climbs the far turnbuckle. The fans' cheers pick up as Hoff raises one arm, saluting the crowd. COACH Man, these fans are kinda into Hoff after he stood up to Northstar last week! COLE Well, our GM hasn't exactly been making friends lately. CABOOSE Blame that on Zack Malibu. That guy's a menace, I'd fire him. COLE You would not. CABOOSE The hell I wouldn't! Zack Malibu sucks. COACH I like Candie, though. She's hot. CABOOSE You like MEN. COACH I...uh...SHUT UP! The bell rings as Hoff stretches his back muscles, then crouches down and circles Goran. The two men lock up, and Hoff throws Goran down to the mat. COLE Nice power there by Hoff! CABOOSE Well, at 6 foot 5, 275 pounds, he's not a small man by any means. Goran gets to his feet and approaches Hoff again. The two men lock up collar and elbow, and Hoff pushes Goran back to the corner. Hoff steps back, then unloads several knees into Goran's midsection. Hoff steps back, and whips Goran HARD into the far corner! Goran hits the turnbuckle and collapses, holding his back! COACH Whoa! CABOOSE Nice drop-in there, Harry Doyle. COACH Who? Hoff stomps Goran across the back once, then picks him up by the hair. Hoff scoops Goran up, slams him down to the mat, and drops a big leg across his throat. COLE Quick cover here! The ref drops to his knees, but only gets a two count before Goran gets a shoulder up. Hoff picks Goran back up, whips him off the ropes, and catches him with a back elbow smash. Goran, dazed, stutters backwards, and whips him off the ropes again, this time catching him with a back body drop. Hoff makes a cover again, but only gets two. CABOOSE Man, even....what's this guy's name again? COACH Hoff? CABOOSE No, nitwit, the other one. COLE Tom Goran. CABOOSE Right. Not even Tom Goran will go down that easy. Hoff picks Goran up off the mat, whips him into the ropes, and comes off the other side with a big clothesline! Goran stumbles back to his feet, but Hoff hiptosses him over. Hoff plays to the crowd before flexing and dropping an elbow across Goran's chest. The referee counts one, two, but no three as Goran kicks out again. Hoff gets to his feet and again pulls Goran off the mat, but Goran surprises Hoff with a quick right hand! Goran shoots another right to Hoff's temple, and another! COLE Tom Goran showing some signs of life here! Goran steps back, and plants Hoff with a dropkick that sends the big man down! Goran pumps his fist in celebration, but as Goran plays to the crowd, Hoff gets to his feet! COACH Uh-oh, looks like Hoff wasn't fazed! Goran turns around, but Hoff catches him with a boot to the midsection. Goran doubles over in pain, and Hoff grabs him in a front face lock and DDTs him down! Hoff goes for a cover... ONE......... TWO........... THREE-NO!! Goran kicks out!! COLE Goran barely kicked out of that DDT, and I know we just got rolling, but this may be the beginning of the end. Hoff picks Goran up, hooks him, and takes him over with a vertical suplex. Hoff gets up, pulls his opponent up, and suplexes him over again. Hoff gets up, hooks Goran for a third time, and lifts him, leaving him in the air!! COACH More power from the big man! The fans cheer as Hoff walks around the ring, carrying Goran on his shoulders before bringing him crashing down with a delayed vertical suplex! COLE Cover here! ONE!!! TWO!!!! THREEEEENO! COLE Goran JUST got out in time! CABOOSE Oh, I don't think he's out just yet, Michael. Hoff picks Goran up and sends him into the ropes with an Irish whip...but holds onto Goran's wrist, bringing him back in and demolishing him with a short-arm clothesline! Hoff again plays to the crowd! COACH Goran just got run over, big-time! Hoff picks Goran up off of his feet and holds him up by the head. Hoff taunts the groggy Goran before hooking him around the waist... COLE What's coming here? Hoff tucks his head under Goran's arm and bridges him over in a Northern Lights Suplex! CABOOSE Wow, Northern Lights! I didn't expect that from a smash-mouth guy like Hoff! The referee falls to make the count... ONE............... TWO.............. THRNO! Shoulder up! Hoff sits up, a mildly annoyed look on his face, then gets to his feet. Goran tries to roll away, but Hoff grabs him by the hair and throws him into the nearby corner. Hoff sizes him up carefully, then starts working the midsection of Goran with a series of left and right hooks. COLE We saw Hoff do this to CWM at Zero Hour; it's very methodical, and it slows down the pace of the match. COACH Absolutely, if Hoff can wear down his opponents ribs and back, they're much more susceptible to a spinebuster or H-Bomb. Hoff steps back after delivering the punches, then rushes forward, catching Goran with a clothesline that crumples him in the corner. Hoff picks Goran back up and sets him on the turnbuckle. COLE Oh my, where is Hoff going here... Hoff climbs up the buckle, to the second rope. He hooks Goran for a superplex...then steps up to the top rope! COACH ALL the way up high! Hoff pulls Goran up to the top rope, and comes off with a huge superplex! Hoff floats over and makes the cover! ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENO! Tom Goran kicks out! CABOOSE How did he kick out of that, Cole? COLE I don't know, but he may still have some signs of life! Look! As Hoff bends down to pick Goran up, Goran thumbs him in the eye! Goran gets to his feet as Hoff reels, and catches the big man with a fluury of fists! Goran whips Hoff off the ropes...but Hoff reverses, Goran comes off the ropes and COACH SPINEBUSTER!!!! COLE Hoff just PLASTERED Tom Goran with that huge spinebuster! My God, he must be out cold! Hoff looks down at Goran's body for a minute, then places a foot on his chest. The referee counts... CABOOSE This is academic. ONE......TWO.....but Hoff lifts his foot!! COLE Aw come on, enough is enough! As the referee checks on Goran, Hoff shouts to the jeering fans: "CWM!!!! This is for YOU!!!!" Hoff pulls Goran away from the ref and onto his feet, and applies a standing headscissors. COLE Come on, the ref needs to stop this... CABOOSE WHAT?! This is great! Hoff's sending a message! It's about time he got a set! Hoff lifts Tom Goran up over his head into the powerbomb position, then swings Goran's legs down off of his shoulders and catches him in a whiplashing spinebuster!! COACH That's the H-Bomb! That's it!! COLE That has to be it. The referee counts.... ONE............... TWO............... THREE!! *ding ding ding* BUFFER The winner of this bout..........HOFF!! "Black" by Sevenduist plays as Hoff exits the ring. As he walks up the ramp, the fans largely boo, but a few cheers poke through. COLE Well, Hoff did what he came to do: tune his skills, and send a message to CWM. CABOOSE Yeah, some nice power moves by Hoff, I'm not sure if CWM can take those at Anglemania. IF it happens. Which it won't. COACH YOU like men!!! Michael Cole and Caboose exchange a confused look. CABOOSE ......huh? COACH Earlier you said I like men! Well, YOU like men! BOO-YAH!! CABOOSE That was like five minutes ago! COACH Well, it takes me a while to think up these sweet lines. CABOOSE What you call sweet, I call uh...um... COACH See it ain't easy being witty like the C.Note. CABOOSE You aren't witty! Someone feeds you your lines, you...uh...SHIT! When we come back, I'll snap you good! (Go to break) (Return from break) Backstage, JOSH~! is standing by with the party pimps of the OAOAST, we're talking about Johnny "Jam" Jackson and Scotty Static, the Global Party Exchange. JOSH Scotty, Johnny, tonight, it's round six for you. The Seven Sins Series stands at 3-2 in favor of the Minions, and tonight, you've got them in a tables match. SCOTTY Look here, Joshy Josh, here's the deal. You see, we've been in this company for a few months now, and yeah, we've made some waves. Sly Somers and me, we threw down, and had some wars. Ol' JJJ here got stuck on the shelf for a little, but ever since he came back, the GPX wanted nothing more than their chance at the prize. Now some could say we've gotten sidetracked, some could say it's about revenge. No matter what you call it, this Seven Sins Series is going to be the true test. It has been since the first match. We've been down, we've been out. People said we had no shot. The Minions, yeah they got over on us more than a few times. Now tonight, it's time to turn the tables, and put Nathaniel and Michael right through them damn things! Right, Johnny Jam? JOHNNY Like my main mac diddy says, Josh Matthews, we've been the underdogs from day one! No one gave us a fighting chance against The Minions. They're intense, they said. They've got St. Andrew, and Gibraltar. They feel no remorse, no pain for their past actions. Well you know what, I felt the pain! You'd better BELIEVE I felt it, because it was thanks to these glorified altar boys that my career got stuck on pause like an XBox game for a little while. Then we entered the Seven Sins Series, and we were down. Oh man, were the odds against us. Tag matches, Tornado Matches, something new every time, and somehow, the Minions were able to get us time and time again. Well NO MORE, boys. The GPX are on the great comeback tour of '04. It started two weeks back, it carries through to tonight, and it ends in Match 7. You can make it whatever kind of match you want, but the bottom line is you better get it booked now, because in a few minutes, the only thing you'll have to worry about is how to get the splinters outta your asses. GPX is comin' to party up, and just like every party we've ever been to, we ain't afraid to break a little furniture. Believe it! A silent Josh Matthews looks approvingly at the camera, as the Global Party Exchange head off, psyched to the nines for their match tonight against St. Andrew's charges, The Minions Of Mayhem. (Back to the SC) Coach: Thanks, dork! Hey, I'm getting word that Damawhatever and Northstar are watching "Sex in the City" let's watch them watch! (We go backstage where Damaramu and Northstar are eating Chinese food and watching a "Sex in the City" DVD. Well, Northstar's watching it.) Damaramu: How's Jenna? Northstar: She'll be okay, love. She's more pissed then hurt. Dama: Yeah, that preppy pussy stepped way over the line. We need to get a gang together and put that punk six feet underground. Sick of him! Northstar: The thought is appreciated, and the sentiment is admirable, darling. But the truth is she's not mad at Zack, she's mad at me. Frankly, I can't entirely blame her. In her time of need, I focused my energy on trying to best my old rival, Zack Malibu. Consumed by an ancient rage, I leveled him with a Hollywood Homicide instead of tending to her needs. For that I deserve her anger. For misleading her into thinking that I truly am a kind, thoughtful and caring individual who would do his best to provide aid to those who need it, I deserve her hate. And for questioning her integrity and acting ability, an ability that she dedicates every moment of her life to improving, I deserve a broken heart. (Dama digs in the bag of food) Dama: Hmm....want an egg roll? Northstar: Sure. (Dama hands over an egg roll) Dama: What's going on with Alix? I saw her in the arena early today. Can't believe she had the nerve to show her fucking face 'round these parts. Talk about dumping a truck load of salt in a wound. Northstar: Actually, sweetheart, I'm a little glad she's here. Dama: What? That bubbleheaded dick breath dumped you the national TV! Why the fuck would you want her around? Northstar: Well, I know this sounds kind of weird and pathetic. But, I just like knowing that she's around. Even if she's not talking to me, and she wants nothing more then to see me to die the slowest, most agonizingly brutal death one can imagine, I still feel better knowing that she's near. (Northstar softly chuckles) You must think I'm beyond pathetic. Don't you, sugar? Dama: Pathetic never once crossed my mind. I think I'm understanding how you feel. I just have one question, if you're going out with Jenna, who you've apparently had a crush on since you were ten, why are you still hung up on Alix? Northstar: You really wanna know? Dama: I wouldn't have asked if I didn't. Northstar: It's kinda weird. I mean I love Jenna and all. But, I like Alix a lot, ya know? I mean, she's my friend. Or at least she was. But, I'll always think of her as a friend, my best friend actually. I know that sounds incredibly stupid and corny, but that's how I feel. It's like she means too much to me to get married. Long after Jenna's left me with divorce papers in one hand and a limp dick in the other, I'll still be friends with Alix. I'll still like her. There are things I can talk about with Alix that I couldn't dream of talking about with anyone else. She knows my deepest and darkest secrets, and I feel comfortable with that. There are moments we shared together, like the aftermath of the Ironman match, that I couldn't share with any one else. No one could ever understand me the way Alix did. She gave me so much and I returned so little. When she dumped me last week, it wasn't my fiance saying she couldn't love me, it was my best friend saying that we couldn't hang our together. Unless you've experienced something like that, you can't even begin to imagine how deep the pain was after I heard that. Dama: Chin up. Things'll work out. They always do. One way or another, things will work out. Northstar: How can you be so sure? Dama: Don't question. Just believe me. And if you need anything, I've got your back. (Northstar cracks open a fortune cookie.) Northstar: Aren't you sweet? Hey, you'll be happy to know that I've booked Charlie Hoss to take on Skull Mask at Anglemania. Dama: Skull Mask would willing to take over as interim chief of security while Chuck recovers from the face breaking he'll be receiving at AM three. (Northstar nods) Northstar: It'll be the battle of the hosses Dama: Is his last name really Hoss? Northstar: Yessir. Dama: If my last name was Hoss, I'd kill my parents. Northstar: You mean just your dad? Dama: No, I'd kill my Mom for marrying a guy with the last name Hoss. Actually, I may just kill his Mom and Dad for the hell of it. Northstar: ! Dama: Only kidding, man. I'll see you in a few, I've got some..uh..buissness to take care of. Like I said, if you need anything, I'm here for you, pal. Count on it. (CUT to the SC) Coach: Could it be? Am I imagining things? Does Damaramu actually have a heart? Cole: I'm just as surprised as you! He sat still and attentively listened to Northstar's problems. Maybe he's not such a bad guy after all. Caboose: Told you! But you cock jockeys do nothing but make snap judgments about everyone who comes across your path. You're like gossiping old lady bitches sitting under the hair dryer all day, talking smack about everyone, when you know you'll never amount to a damn thing. You both make me sick! We'll be back after break. (Go to break)

(Return from break) Cue: ‘Man in the Box’ by Alice in Chains The crowd delivers a mixed reaction of boos and cheers as the X Division Champion, AJ Flaire, comes to ringside with a frown on his face. He walks down the aisle, belt shining over his shoulder, and steps into the ring. COLE Well, it’s about time we got some answers from our X Champion! Eleven days ago at Zero Hour, he ruined the celebration of the Super X Cup winner, Jacob Lyne! CABOOSE He had every right to come out and congratulate him! Lyne was taking no notice of AJ, and AJ came out to be a good sportsman! COACH I’m inclined to agree with you there Caboose, AJ Flaire came out to promote the AngleMania match, to have the first face off and congratulate Lyne for his efforts in winning the super X Cup. This match was going to be a respectful wrestling match, but now it has become a bit personal! AJ grabs the mic as his music dies down, and the fans give him quiet. AJ Over the last eleven days, everybody has been asking me one question... Why did I attack Jacob Lyne at Zero Hour? Well, you people deserve an answer, a true and honest answer. Because you see the reason I attacked Jacob Lyne at Zero Hour was simple. He didn’t show me the respect that I deserved as the X Division Champion. Jacob Lyne didn’t show me any respect (a small section of the crowd boos). I’m sorry I attacked him, I see the error of my ways, but I will not stand by and watch someone just ignore me. I am the greatest X Division Champion that this company has ever seen. I’m better than Rando. I’m better than Ragdoll (slight boos). I’m better than Mad Matt, and I know that I’m better than Sly Sommers. COACH He has a point guys, he is one of the best X Champs that we have ever seen. AJ I appreciate you people, as you show me the proper respect that I deserve as the X Division Champion. I appreciate the other members of The Firm, as they also show me the proper respect. Eleven days ago, I beat Tyler Bridges and I beat TJ Burns. I beat the damn Tag Team Champions. Money and I, we beat Gunner Sharps, but I lost one concentration for one moment, and Axel took advantage and pinned me. I make no excuses for the loss; it was a black mark on my career. But the same thing will not happen at AngleMania. I will keep this belt around my waist. I’ll have the edge at AngleMania Three. COLE That’s debateable; Lyne defeated three guys at Zero Hour. AJ Because that’s what I’ve been lacking, an edge. You people just see me as the ‘No Gimmick Needed’ type of guy, the guy who shuts up, plays by the rules and gets things done. Well, that might work for Benoit, but playing by the rules doesn’t get you anywhere in this company. Being respectful to your opponents doesn’t get you anywhere in this company. So from now on, screw respect. I’m showing you a different side of AJ Flaire. Now that’s Phenomenal. Cue: Man in the Box CABOOSE I like the new attitude! That will get him far in this business. AJ rolls out of the ring and carries his belt up the ramp. The crowd is still delivering a mixed reaction, as they don’t know what side to pick! AJ poses at the top of the ramp, when suddenly; Jacob Lyne appears and spears AJ down! Lyne starts hammering away at AJ Flaire, as officials try to separate the two men! COACH Wait a minute! COLE JACOB LYNE WANTS PAYBACK! The officials finally break Lyne away, but he soon goes after AJ again, eliciting a pop from the crowd! CABOOSE Get him out of here; he can’t attack AJ like that! COACH AJ attacked him at Zero Hour, this is payback Caboose! Jacob Lyne is taken away by officials as the referees attend to AJ Flaire, who pushes them out of the way and tries to go after Lyne. More officials come from the back to separate the two men. COLE I really don’t understand the sudden change of heart by AJ Flaire. Am I the only one who thinks his actions were unjustified just now? Are you all blind? COACH Well Michael, AJ’s right, Lyne should have respected him, so now AJ is showing Lyne no respect, and he is going to keep his title at AngleMania. COLE In any event, at AngleMania Three, it will be AJ Flaire defending his X Division Championship against Jacob Lyne, the winner of the Super X Cup. This is sure to be a very technical affair, with both men wanting the respect of their peers, as well as each other. COACH Stay tuned, the NEW Twenty Four Seven Champion, ‘The Dark One’ Axel, will have his first title defence NEXT, against none other than the rookie, Chris Bryte! We’ll be back! *COMMERCIAL BREAK* COACH We are back, LIVE on HeldDown, and we have a Championship match for you coming right up! Chris Bryte is already in the ring, waiting for his opponent. ANNOUNCER Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is for the One And Only AngleSault Thread Twenty Four Seven Championship! In the ring is the challenger, from Topeka, Kansas, weighing in tonight at One Hundred Seventy Five Pounds, CHRISSSSSSSSSSSSS BRYYYYYYYYTTTTTTTTEEEEEEEE!!! COLE Boy what an opportunity for Chris Bryte, a shot at the Twenty-Four Seven Championship. This is also a bit personal for Bryte, as he is trying to avenge Axel’s attack on Tina last week. CABOOSE One wonders though, Michael, if Bryte has bitten off way more than he can chew on this one. BOOM!BOOM!BOOBOOBOOBOOOMMMMMMMMMBOOOMMMMMM!!! Cue: ‘The Game’ by Disturbed The crowd starts to boo their asses off as the NEW 24/7 Champion, AXEL, appears at the top of the ramp, belt around his waist. He does the crucifix pose at the top of the ramp, before spotting Chris Bryte, who is running up the entrance way, chair in hand! COLE Bryte is on the rampage! Bryte wants Axel! Chris Bryte runs at Axel and tries to take Axe’s head off with the chair, but Axel ducks under him! Axel takes his belt off with one hand, waits for Bryte to turn around, and smashes him in the face with the Championship! COACH What a shot! CABOOSE He took Bryte’s head off! The referee runs up the ramp to tell the opponents to get in the ring, but Axel just hands him the Title belt and walks over to Bryte, who is just starting to get to his feet. Axel grabs Bryte by the hair and ‘helps him’ up, but soon takes him back down with a hard right hand. Axel spots the chair and picks it up, while Bryte tries his darnest to make it to his feet again. CABOOSE Ah, Michael? You got a clock on this one? COLE I know what you mean, ‘Boose. Bryte turns around slowly, his face now a bloody mess from the belt shot, and is greeted by a hard chair shot, splattering his face on the steel! COLE MY GOD what a chair shot! Axel grabs Bryte yet again by the hair and literally THROWS him down the ramp, with Bryte rolling the rest of the way down, and stopping just outside the ring. COACH Axel is decimating Chris Bryte! Axel picks Bryte up again and LAUNCHES him face-first into the steel steps, a ‘CRASH’ echoing throughout the arena. Axel then smiles a wicked smile, as the crowd keeps booing his actions. Axel looks over to the apron as his smile grows wider. COLE What is he thinking? CABOOSE I think he’s getting his toys Cole! Axel then looks under the ring and pulls out… …a Table! COLE Oh no! Axel is looking to injure Chris Bryte! Axel wants to send a message to Crystal! Axel grabs the table and slides it into the ring, before going over to Chris Bryte again, who is now up to his feet. Axel goes for the DREADED DOUBLE AXE HANDLE! But Cris Bryte lands a LEFT HAND OF DOOM! Axel staggers back! COLE Bryte is fighting back! Axel tries a right hand, but Bryte blocks it and hits a RIGHT HAND OF DEATH! Axel stumbles forward! CABOOSE C’mon Axel, block it! Bryte tries another hard left, but Axel connects with a knee to the midsection! Axel puts Bryte over his shoulders, and starts to run at the ring post… COACH Not this, this move could crack Bryte’s skull! …But Bryte slips off, and Axel’s head goes crashing into the post! Axel staggers backward and turns around, only to run into a HIGH ELEVATION DROPKICK from Chris Bryte!!! COLE Beautiful textbook dropkick from Bryte! Chris Bryte picks Axle up by the hair this time and rolls him into the ring! Axel gets to his feet and staggers back into the corner, and Chris Bryte meets him there! Right hand by Bryte! And a left! And a Chop! And another right! And a kick to the midsection! And ANOTHER CHOP! COACH GENERIC OFFENSE BY CHRIS BRYTE! Axel is reeling! Axel stumbles out to the middle of the ring, and Bryte takes hi down with another HIGH ELEVATION DROPKICK! Cover by Chris Bryte! COLE He could have him!!! COACH We could have a new Champion! ONE… TWNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Axel kicks out with authority! COLE I thought Bryte had him! Bryte looks at Axel, stands up, and signals for the Bryte Out! COLE Bryte might be going for his move! Bryte lifts Axel up, and Drives him down with a vicious Bryte Out! COLE That’s his move! CABOOSE Thanks Tony. Bryte desperately covers Axel… ONE… TWOOOOOOOOOOOOO… NOOOOOOOOOOO!! Axel JUST kicks out! COLE Bryte can’t believe it! COACH We were a count away from a new 24/7 Champion! Bryte looks over at the referee and holds three fingers up in protest. The referee will have none of it, as he tells Bryte to go back to his opponent. Bryte turns around, and signals for another Bryte Out! CABOOSE He’s going for the same move again! Axel gets up slowly and turns to face Bryte. Bryte lifts Axel for the Bryte out, but Axel slides off! Bryte turns around, and Axel DECAPITATES him with a HARD clothesline! Axel looks insanely pissed off! CABOOSE Uh-oh, you’ve done it now. COLE What is that look in Axels eyes? CABOOSE Michael, remember when Shamrock was in the ‘Zone’? COLE Oh, shit. Run Chris, Run! Axel grabs Bryte and lifts him on his shoulders. Axel drives Bryte’s head into the mat for a DEATH VALLEY DRIVAH, but Axel doesn’t cover him! COLE Stop the madness Axel! Axel walks over to the other side of the ring and sets up the table just out from the corner. He then walks over to Bryte and hauls him over to that very corner! COACH What’s he going to do here? Axel lifts Bryte up for a Back Suplex, and crotches him on the top turnbuckle backwards. Axel then goes up to the top rope, and grabs Bryte ready for a Reverse Death Valley! Axel lifts Bryte in the air on the top turnbuckle, and rotates him over… COLE Oh no, Axel, don’t do this. You can’t do this to the poor kid. Please Axel no- AXEL SLAME FROM THE TOP ROPE THROUGH A TABLE! COLE MY GOD IN HEAVEN! BRYTE COULD BE DEAD! Axel covers Bryte and hooks the leg… ONE… TWOOOOOOO… CABOOSE Foregone conclusion. THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! *DING DING DING!!* ANNOUNCER Here is your winner, and STILL the OAOAST Twenty-Four even Champion, AXXXXXXELLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!! Axel looks at Bryte’s lifeless body and mouths the words “You Son of a Bitch”. COLE Impressive victory by Axel! I think he is sending a clear message to Crystal before AngleMania! Axel grabs Bryte’s lifeless body and picks him up again for another Axel Slam! COACH C’mon Axel, you’ve made your point… ANOTHER AXEL SLAM ON CHRIS BRYTE! Axel gets straight back up and demands a microphone from the announcer, who obliges. He starts talking, breathing heavily. AXEL Crystal, this (points to Bryte) is what will happen to you at AngleMania. THIS is what happens when you fuck with me, THIS is what happens when you go against me. Remember Crystal, I FUCKING MADE YOU! YOU WILL SEE THINGS DIFFERENTLY AFTER ANGLEMANIA! I WILL FU- Cue: ‘I’m just a Girl’ by No Doubt The crowd goes absolutely NUT as Crystal appears at the top of the ramp, microphone in hand. She puts her hand up to stop the music… CRYSTAL Axel, I’m damn sick and tired of you and your tirades, your CRAP! Why don’t we give these fans AngleMania three weeks early? You and me, one on one, right NOW. The crowd pops HUGE at the mention of this. COLE I’d like to see that! AXEL Crystal, my dear. I wanted to beat you at AngleMania, not on HeldDown! If I wanted to face you at a mere TV show, I would have pinned you last week. I have a better idea. Why don’t you face my good friend, your former friend, Gunner Sharps, next week on HeldDown? CRYSTAL Fine, you’re on. I’ll kick his ass too. COACH Crystal showing no fear! AXEL Alright then, next week it’s Crystal versus Gunner Sharps, have fun in the next week Crystal, it’ll be your LAST. Cue: ‘The Game’ by Disturbed COACH What an announcement by Axel! Crystal and Gunner, one on one, next week on HeldDown! COLE And we still have an action packed show! Stay tuned. (Go to break)

(Return from break) We cut backstage, where ZACK MALIBU~! is caught by our cameras entering the building with a purpose. Zack storms down the hallway, but as soon as he reaches the end of it, someone blocks his path...that someone being HeldDOWN~!'s very own General Manager, the ever flamboyant Northstar. NORTHSTAR Zackie! Malibu shoots a glare that could freeze hell over to Northstar. Northstar does a McMahon-esque double take and gulp. NORTHSTAR Turn that frown upside down, Zack. Don't you listen to the Black Eyed Peas? Where is the LOVE!? ZACK The only thing that's going to be black eyed around here is you, you friggin'... NORTHSTAR Ah ah...langauge! See Zack, this is where we need to come to an understanding. Your ramblings as of late have shocked us all, but needless to say they shocked me the most. I mean, who would have known...who would have thought that the great Zack Malibu was so...so...insecure! ZACK What are you talking about? NORTHSTAR Oh don't play coy with me, Zackie Wackie Poo. The hair, the clothes, the whole "look", it can't mask the pain forever. But now you've become Mr. Machismo all of a sudden, and expect it to take? Since when did YOU grow a spine, the same man who less than a year ago was afraid to lock up with a female competitor on this show in a title match! ZACK What does a match with Crystal have to do... Northstar cuts Zack off. NORTHSTAR It's not about that, Zack. It's about the telltale signs. I feel partially responsible, I mean if Alix, as much as I'd love to give her a bad dye job and make her wait tables for the rest of her life these days, hadn't run off Alison, and Calvin didn't capture... Before even another vowel can be uttered, Malibu FLOORS the General Manager with a right hand. NORTHSTAR Security! Charlie, you fatass, where the hell is that lousy porker when you need him! Zack crouches down, so that he's eye to eye with the stunned Northstar. ZACK You listen to me, pretty boy. I'm not living in the past. I'm very much looking forward to my future. To Anglemania 3, and beyond. Now I WILL get to AM3, no strings attatched, and I WILL get my title shot. And after that, I'll continue to do what I've done best. I'll proudly defend this company's honor worldwide, and keep it free from the materialistic, selfish pieces of crap like yourself. I'm sick, and I'm tired, Northstar, of picking up the pieces of the lives you fracture. Same goes for Calvin, Ragdoll, or anyone else who thinks they'll get away with it on my watch. This is the one time I'm going to be selfish, but most would agree...this is MY company, and I'll be damned if it's going to be run into the ground. This ain't WCW, you're not Russo, and the ship isn't sinking. The only thing is, I doubt YOU will be able to stay afloat much longer, got me? (Northstar points his finger past Zack, causing the former champ to turn around expecting something, instead he gets a swift kick to the balls courtesy of Northstar! Zack doubles over in pain, silently cursing Northstar. Northstar rolls away from Zack and quickly springs to his feet!) NORTHSTAR Made ya look! Made ya look! (Looking to gain an advantage, Northstar quickly elbows Zack in the face, stunning him! Northstar lunges forward with the speed of a bullet train and nails Zack in the jaw with a punch! Zack staggers back against the wall. Consumed with hate Northstar charges at his rival! Zack throws out a punch, but at the last second Northstar dips his body, driving his shoulders into Zack's stomach, sandwiching Zack between himself and the wall! Without so much as batting an eye, Northstar begins to drill Zack in the gut with his knee! A deplorable look of joy crosses Northstar's face as he brutally lays into Zack!) ZACK You...son...of.. NORTHSTAR Sweetie pie, you're only making things worse for yourself and funner for me! But keep on digging that grave a little deeper, love! Maybe in a couple of weeks you'll hit China! (Northstar steps way from Zack. He cruelly spits blood in Zack's face, before charging forward with a punch! DUCKED! CRAAAACK! Zack's ducking caused Northstar to ram his fist into the concrete wall! ) NORTHSTAR SWEET MOTHER OF MERCY, DID THAT HURT! (With the tables turned, Zack nails Northstar with hard right hands! He slugs at Northstar with every thing he's got! But Northstar retaliates with a quick jab to the temple! The move temporarily dazes Zack, but Northstar's to winded to capitalize. Instead of seizing the moment and ending the fight, he's forced to exchange blows with an equally winded Zack! With each colossal strike they land, spurts of blood fly through the air and land on the tile floor. Too busy trying to hold off defeat, Northstar fails to notice that Jenna Elfman, his gorgeous girlfriend, has come to try and separate the longtime foes.) JENNA! Edward! Stop this at once! (Northstar turns around to tell Jenna to get away and gets nailed in the back of the head with a forearm! He quickly turns back to Zack and smacks him with a backhanded blow!) JENNA Stop fighting. You're acting like a stupid child! NORTHSTAR GO AWAY, S'IL VOUS PLAIT! (Jenna grabs Northstar's arm and uses all the strength in her one hundred twenty pound body to pull him away from Zack! However, Zack refuses to play fair and continues to nail Northstar's ribs with crushing body blows! Northstar uses his free arm to flail away at Zack, a move that elicits nothing but laughter from the bloody prep! Wanting to end this fight, Zack springs forward with a closed fist aimed at Northstar's boyish face! DUCKED! BAAAM! Zack's punch connects with a target, just not the intended one! The second Zack's punch connects with Jenna's face she falls to the ground, releasing her grip on Northstar's arm, and hitting her head on the hard tile floor!) ZACK & NORTHSTAR ....... (The old friends and older enemies stare at each other blankly. Jenna still conscious covers her face, preventing the cameras from seeing if there's any blood.) NORTHSTAR Nice job, Jackie Chan! You just Steve Austined my girlfriend! Real smooth, Vin Disel! ZACK (Using his "POP" baseball jersey to wipe away blood) I....I...didn't mean to! You ducked! NORTHSTAR Uh, yeah! Like, what else was I s'posed to do, love, let you rearrange this beautiful face with a punch? Puhleaze! I have a modeling career to protect! ZACK Is she going to be okay? NORTHSTAR Darling, do I look like George Clooney and does this look like ER? How on earth should I know? ZACK I didn't mean to. NORTHSTAR Earth to Malibu Stacy! You're not a 78' quit repeating your self! It's totally annoying, sweet stuff! ZACK Jesus, I seriously didn't mean to. NORTHSTAR Well don't just stand there and wallow in regret, Screech. Help her up! (Zack walks over to Jenna. She tries to roll away, but stops when Zack says he wants to help her. He bends over and moves her hands away from her face in order to see how badly she's hurt. He breathes a sigh of relief when he sees that she's not bleeding. He whispers that "everything will be okay" as Northstar, standing behind Zack, watches on.) NORTHSTAR I'm Ashton Kutcher, you're Justin Timberlake and you got PUNK'D, HOE! VIVA LA NORTHSTAR! (Northstar puts his leg onto Zack's neck, then nails him with his version of the "Play of the day" called the Hollywood Homicide! The move does what Northstar intended and floors Zack, knocking him out just enough that he's still able to hear Northstar's gloating but not able to do anything about it. Northstar whips out an OAOAST HeldDOWN compact mirror to check out his dashing good looks and carefully applied makeup) NORTHSTAR Gosh, I'm such a cutie! I really like how the blush compliments the blue in my eyes. Ooh, and the structure of my cheek bones, I know people who would die for it! (Northstar glances at Zack) Oh! You're still here, Zack? Same old Zackie poo! Try as you might you'll never shed the image of a wishy washy, self absorbed, cookie cutter prep. Don't waste my time and yours, dimples! We all know you're the same little girl I beat six times in one night. Whatever, I'm soooo not dealing with you anymore, child. (A gang of security officers and medics come to help Jenna and Zack to their feet. Northstar grabs an empty bottle of Pepsi out of a trash can and proceeds to sing a modified version of "WAR". ) NORTHSTAR ZACK! HUUH! What is he good for? Absolutely nothing! Say it again! Zack! HUUH! What is he good for? Absolutely nothing! Zack I despise. Cuz he means destruction of innocent eyes! Zack means boredom for thousands of fans. When Zack goes off to fight, I wanna take my life! ZACK! HUUH! What is he good for? Absolutely nothing! Say it again! Zack! HUUH! What is he good for? Absolutely nothing. Zack-Good God, now. What is he good for? I forgot the words, yeah! Zack-good god now! He molests small children! Say it again! ZACK! HUUH! What is he good for? Sucking Crystal's penis! Yeah! (Northstar leaves trailing behind a group of medics that are carrying Jenna back to her dressing room. Halfway down the hall, he stops, turns around and blows Zack a kiss!) NORTHSTAR (Walking away from Zack with his back turned) My company, love. Play by my rules, or don't play at all. Your choice, hot shot. Back to you, Triple C! (Back to the SC) Coach: Zack-huh, what is he good for? That song's pretty catchy! Caboose: I smell Grammy. Coach: No, I just farted. Cole: Ignored. Guys, I think Jenna will be okay, however I don't think our show will. Zack and Northstar have been at each other's throats since June. It doesn't bode well for the future of the company when the General Manager and the top star don't like each other. Caboose: I like Northstar Cole: You're not the top star. Caboose: I'm not?! Cole: Caboose, in terms of merchandise sales, you rank thirty-fourth. There's only thirty people on the roster. Caboose: You mean to tell me the human erection over here ranks higher then me?! Cole: Coach? He ranks fourth. Caboose: God. I need a drink. Something's going on backstage, go there while I get wasted. ::The scene cuts backstage outside of a locker room door, where we see Tina prevent Panther from entering the room:: Tina: Panther, will you just calm down? Panther: Why should I? I mean, last week, your dumb ass boyfriend comes down and costs me the 24/7 Title. There ain't a man walking the face of this earth that can tell me that I wouldn't still be the champion if not for him, and now tonight, I find out that he's getting a shot at Axel?! Chris Bryte gets a title match before me?! Tina: (sigh) Panther...I know you're upset, but you can't blame Chris. I mean...you know what Axel's done. He's attacked Chris. He's attacked me. He's been causing us grief for the past few weeks... Panther: I don't give a damn! If he had beef with Axel, he could've handled that on his own time. But he didn't do that, he moved in on my time, and now I'm suffering because of it. Now Tina, I couldn't care less about his little problem with Axel, but when his problems start causing me problems...well then I become him problem. Tina: Panther, I'm really sorry you lost the title, but damn it I don't want you to fight! I mean...Jesus, Panther, you know how I feel about you... Panther: Yeah... Tina: ...but I really care about Chris too. I mean...I know he's not the smartest guy...he's not the most talented wrestler here, but Panther I really care about him, and I don't wanna get caught between the two of you. Panther: Tina... Tina: JUST LISTEN TO ME, PANTHER! I am your friend. We've already established that, and you know that I'll support you in just about anything you go through here in the OAOAST. But Panther, if you come after Chris...if you hurt him...Panther I can't side with you. I don't wanna go against you, Panther, but if you force me...well...so be it. ::Panther glares long and hard at Tina, and there's a long silence between the two as they stare one another down. Suddenly, Panther cracks a smile:: Panther: You...uh...you really like him, don't you. Tina: (smiles) I do. I really do. I mean...Panther, I've never met a guy like Chris Bryte before. I've never met a guy who treats me the way that he does. Who always puts my needs first. Who treats me like a queen. Panther...I can't believe I'm saying this, but...I think I love the guy. Panther:...oh. Tina: What? Panther:...nothing. ::Panther momentarily goes silent, looking at the floor, then looking up at the ceiling and letting loose a deep sigh:: Panther: I tell you what...for you, I'll leave Bryte alone. I'll let what happened last week slide. Tina: (smile) Good. Panther: But...uh, you let Chris Bryte know: stay the hell outta my business, and stay the hell outta my way. Next time, I won't be so forgiving. Tina: Fine. ::Panther turns and walks away, leaving Tina standing with a somewhat nervous smile on his face:: (Go to break)

Like, right now!

I thought this show was much better than last week's. For one thing, we had more then two matches! Awesome 24/7 match from Papa this week. Some nice developments as we head into AM III. I may be back with more thoughts.

(We come back from break with Coach replacing Jewel.) Coach: Good to be back, peeps! Caboose: Bad to have you back, ass. “Higher” by Creed plays and out comes Jeremy Red for this next match. His opponent, Mike Hunt, is already in the ring. Cole: Here comes the man who attacked Mad Matt, while he was handcuffed last week, Jeremy Red. An unfair attack on a helpless man who was injured. Caboose: Oh please. Mad Matt was the one who attacked Jeremy Red and Matt got planted. Mad Matt would not be foolish enough to face Jeremy Red at Anglemania III after being punked decisively. Coach: Red has a microphone and he is looking about ready to speak. Red: Last week on this show, Mad Matt showed what happens when you rush in and hope for the best. Matt, please I am begging you. I don’t want to hurt you. I want to help you before you suffer an injury that you can’t walk off. To give you some time to reconsider your decision to face me and get your career ended at Anglemania III, I have put you on a restraining order of 200 feet. If you come less than 200 feet from me, you will be thrown in jail. If you still are foolish enough to think that your broken down body can withhold me at Anglemania III, then well, don’t say I didn’t warn you. Red drops the microphone and attacks Mike Hunt. Red throws Hunt into the ropes and shoulderblock. Red picks up Hunt and wraps an arm around his head. DDT driving Hunt headfirst into the canvas. Red stomps away at Hunt and wraps both of his hands around his throat choking him. Red picks up Hunt and throws him into the ropes. Red knees Hunt in the ribs as he is coming off the ropes. Red grabs Hunt in a headlock and drives him down across the knee. Red backs up and drops an elbow onto Hunt. Red goes for a cover hooking the leg. One…. Two….. Kickout at two by Mike Hunt. Caboose: Jeremy Red has this ham en eggar right where he wants him. All he has to do is put the finishing touches on him. Coach: Sure he could do this to a prelim talent but can he do it to Mad Matt at Anglemania III. Cole: Red is picking up his opponent and pounding away on him. Red throws Mike Hunt into the ropes and huge spinebuster slam. The crowd is starting chants of “Jeremy sucks” and “We want Matt”. Red climbs to the second rope and waits on his opponent. Red leaps off the second rope and clotheslines Hunt down causing him to crash down to the canvas. Red picks up Hunt and puts him in an inverted facelock. Red blasts Hunt with a reverse DDT. Red gives the signal. He picks up Hunt but Hunt punches him. Hunt fires some more punches. Cole: Mike Hunt is battling back. Coach: Come Mike, you can do it. Show that no good Jeremy Red a thing or two. Caboose: Jeremy is just luring him into a false sense of sercurity. Hunt throws Red into the ropes and HIGH back body drop. Red flies to the canvas and Hunt hooks Red. Hunt scoops up Red and bodyslam. Hunt is climbing up to the top rope. Hunt leaps off but misses a knee off the top rope. Hunt gets up, favoring his knee and Red clips the knee. Red grabs the leg and drops a scissors stomp onto it. Red drops an elbow onto the leg. Red spins around and drops a leg onto the knee. Red reaches outside the ring and grabs a microphone. Red: Mad Matt, this will be you at Anglemania III if you still want to face me. Red picks up Hunt and lifts him up. Knee Crunching Atomic Drop. Red kicks Hunt’s leg out from underneath him. Red spins around the knee and Red locks Hunt in the figure-four leglock. Red is putting all the pressure on and Hunt is looking around but he is nowhere near the ropes. He submits and Jeremy Red is your winner. Caboose: Red gave Mad Matt a little preview of the agony that he will experience at Anglemania III. Cole: Red is not done yet. He has a steel chair. Coach: He has some bad intentions to do with that chair. Red raises the chair above his head but “Beware of the Shadow of Madness” plays over the loud speaker. Cole: Mad Matt wouldn’t violate a restraining order, would he? Caboose: Of course he would. He’s a psycopath. Red drops the chair and the image of Mad Matt appears on the Angletron. Matt: Jeremy Red. You attempted to take me out last week but you know what. I’m still here. I am still standing up and able to kick your ass at Anglemania III. In fact let’s make this match at Anglemania III at Streetfight. I don’t want you to get yourself disqualified or counted out to escape my wrath. That’s not all I’m afraid. When I destroy you and pin whatever is left of you at the end of the night, your contract is null and void. Your wrestling career is FINISHED. But see, what if my some miracle you win. Well, I will never step foot in a wrestling ring ever again. Just like you wanted Jeremy Red. One career will be ended while another will rise above but I can guarantee that neither of us will remain the same. Red nods his head. Red: You’re on Matt. The last image these morons in the crowd will see of you is lying on the mat after I pinned you for the victory. Matt: See Jeremy, we don’t have to wait until Anglemania III. We can do this right NOW!!! Red: You stupid son of a bitch. You have a restraining… MAD MATT SLIDES IN THE RING BEHIND JEREMY RED WIELDING A METAL BASEBALL BAT. That video on the Angletron was pre-taped. Red sees Mad Matt swing the bat just in time to duck and get out of the ring. Red is on the ramp and Mad Matt chases Red. Cole: I hope Matt murders him with that bat after Jeremy Red attacked him last week. Coach: Matt looks pretty angry and looks to be doing some damage. Caboose: Jeremy Red doesn’t want to injure Mad Matt. He is backing away to save the money making match. Matt chases Red up the ramp and Red flees into the dressing room. Matt looks around for Red and Red is standing at the end of the hallway. Matt goes for Red but several police officers stand in his way. Red: That psycho attempted to assault me. ARREST THAT NO GOOD SON OF A BITCH RIGHT NOW. The police advance on Matt and Matt is handcuffed and led out building by the four cops. They are putting Mad Matt in the back of the police car. Red waves at Mad Matt and a handcuffed Mad Matt gets free and rams his shoulder into Red, knocking him down. The cops eventually restrain Matt and put him in the back of the cop car. The police car drives off and Jeremy Red looks on. Red: Maybe a night in a cruddy jail cell, instead of a nice hotel room will help you reconsider your decision to keep attacking me when I keep trying to save you from these bloodthristy fans. If not, well at Anglemania III I will end your career and you will have no choice in it. Happy rotting, Matthew. Coach: This has turned into one hell of a feud! Remind me not to piss off Jeremy Red. Cole: Well, Jeremy Red's got Mad Matt seeing red! But I think at AM III, Red will be seeing the house lights, if you know what I mean. Caboose: You give Mad Mike far to much credit. Jeremy Red is the next Triple H. A true cerebral assassin. Mad Marty's in for long night at AM Cole: That remains to be seen. Fans we'll be back with more hot wrestling action! Stick around. (Go to break)

Please send all your stuff to me. Thank ya!

What's coming up? Do tell!

SNAP!

So, only one other person read this show?

BWAGHAQ!! BWAHHAAA! I thought I reprimanded you last week?

The return of credits. Moi Zack PFL Axel Hoff (for a skit and the drawing!) Dama Papa Mad Matt Caboose or who ever wrote the Anglemania match. C-ya!

OAOAST HeldDOWN~! “Trust me” by pop hottie Lucy Woodward plays as we go through an UPDATED opening video! All traces of Northstar’s ex fiancé Alix have been edited out and in their place are clips from last nights X tourney. The video stops and we fade into the NEW LOGO! We fade into the interior of the Edward Jones Dome in Saint Louis, Missoura ! The camera pans the crowd and focuses on a few of the more creative signs. Sings that read “Crystal iz hot”, “Damaramu=DamaGAY!”and “Calvin SHITstein. Yes ladies and gentlemen this is the future of America! Any way we go to HD’s announce team relaxing at Sofa Central and sipping on Margaritas. Michael Cole: It doesn't get any more thrilling then this, folks! We've got blood-tingling action set for you tonight as we come live from the Edward Jones dome in Saint Louis Missouri! We're on the road to Anglemania but first we have to make it past the aftermath of Zero Hour. What a show that was! Zack Malibu verus Ragdoll. Boy, that was a classic contest! One for the ages. And what about the fallout from the X cup and CWM verus Hoff. I don't think that feud is over. Not by a long shot. Tonight, we're going see the Macho Man Randy Savage take on Northstar with Jenna Elfman as special guest referee! Plus the Minions continue their series with the GPX and we're promised another five star match! Folks, it doesn't get any better than HeldDOWN~! Caboose: Can we talk now or are you going do this whole show by yourself? Coach, who’s on first? Coach: What. Caboose: I said who’s on first? Coach: What. Caboose: WHO’S ON FIRST? Coach: WHAT!!!!!!! Caboose: Please don't make me slit your throat. *The OU Fight Song booms over the arena's speakers. The fans stand up and begin to cheer and cheer even louder as Ryan Smith and Charlie Hoss explode through the curtains.* ANNOUNCER The following contest is a tag team match scheduled for one fall! Making there way to the ring.....Charlie Hoss and Ryan Smith! *the fans cheer loudly as Smith and Hoss enter the ring and play to the crowd* COLE These two men finally stuck it to Damaramu and his new friend Skull Mask at Zero Hour! And now Ryan Smith has his job back! *suddenly the cheers turn to boos as all of the lights in the arena go out and "I Stand Alone" by Godsmack begins to play.* ANNOUNCER Making there way to the ring.......Skull Mask and Damaramu!!!!! *the fans boo as a spotlight settles on the stage and Damaramu and Skull Mask make there way out. An eerie green light bathes the ring as the two men walk slowly with a murderous intent. They enter the ring and Damaramu steps onto the apron leaving Skull Mask to start the match. The lights go back up and Ryan Smith stands in the ring ready to start things with Skull Mask.* COLE Here we go. These two had an absolute war at Zero Hour. *Skull Mask rushes in but Smith ducks low under his clothesline and delivers a couple of punches to the ribs. Mask is unaffected but Smith doesn't quit there. He hits the ropes and comes flying back in with a diving forearm. Mask does not go off of his feet but he's staggered. Smith goes in behind with a football like tackle taking the beast off of his feet. Mask tries to stand but Smith ends up on his back delivering expertly placed punches to the back of the head.* COLE Smith is all over Skull Mask! CABOOSE But I don't think he's hurting him at all! *Smith takes a couple of steps back as Mask stands. Smith hits the ropes and Mask turns around and catches him wiht a hard spinebuster as he comes back in! Smith is flat on his back as Mask stands up. He steps up and starts standing on Smith's chest!* COACH He weighs over 300 pounds! COLE He'll crush him! *Smith kicks wildly before the referee finally gets Mask off of Smith's chest. Smith tries to stand and Skull Mask decides to help him by yanking him up by his head and tossing him across the ring. However he tosses him right into his own corner. Smith rolls up and tags Charlie Hoss before falling onto the apron and clutching his chest.* COLE Here comes Hoss! The meeting of the big men! *The fans all stand up and begin to cheer as Hoss and Mask come face to face in the middle of the ring. Charlie Hoss begins to punch but so does Skull Mask. Both men end up in a standoff trading blows before Skull Mask gets the better of Hoss. Mask backs him into the ropes and Irish whips him into the other ropes. Hoss comes back in and almost meets a big boot but manages to duck. He comes back with a tackle taking Mask down. Hoss is on top of him wildly punching him in the face. The ref finally seperates the two behemoth's and Hoss kicks him in the ribs when he tries to come back in. Mask is doubled over and Hoss sticks his head between his legs about to deliver the powerbomb. Mask however backdrops Hoss out of it and falls into a tag from Damaramu!* COLE Damaramu seeing action for the first time today. *Hoss tries to stand but Damaramu dropkicks him in the face as he is coming to his feet. Hoss rolls back onto the mat and Dama begins to stomp him before the ref seperates them.* CABOOSE Come on ref! Let them go! *Damaramu pulls Hoss up and then quickly brings him back down with a hard DDT. Dama hits the ropes and comes back in with a legdrop. Pin! 1!!!!!!!! 2!!!!!!!!!!! Hoss kicks out! The fans cheer as Hoss tries to come to his feet but Dama is behind him taking him over with a hard backdrop driver. Hoss once again lands on his head and Dama runs over dropping a couple of knees onto the side of Charlie's neck!* COACH That's a vicious move there. COLE Nothing fancy about it, but it's doing enough damage. *Hoss tries to cover up but Dama continues to drop repeated knees into his neck as the fans go nuts. Dama stands up and rolls Hoss over onto his stomach. Dama firmly plants his knee into Hoss's back and slaps on the crossface! The fans go nuts as Hoss begins to scream in pain. Dama continues to wrench back on it as the fans begin stomping and cheering for Charlie Hoss. Ryan Smith stands on the apron clapping and stomping to support him. Charlie begins to show signs of life as he gets onto his knees. Dama begins to shake his head no but Hoss stands straight up and tosses Dama to the mat. Hoss falls to the ground and begins to crawl to his corner. Just as he reaches the corner Dama is there jumping on him. But it's to late! Ryan Smith his tagged in and the fans go nuts! * COLE Here we go! Dama and Smith! *Smith begins to punch Dama backing him into the corner. Once in the corner Smith begins to deliver hard chops to Dama's chest. Dama walks out of the corner and Smith jumps to the second rope and then comes off dropping Dama with a bulldog! Smith goes for the cover! 1!!!!!!!!!! 2!!!!!!!!!!!!! Kick out!* CABOOSE You aren't going to get Dama that quickly! He's never even been pinned in a match! COLE You're right. He has never submitted nor had his shoulders counted to the mat. His two losses come from tag matches where his partner was beaten! *Smith sends Dama into the ropes and tries for a dropkick but Dama holds onto the ropes and Smith comes down on the back of his head. Dama laughs and begins to pull Smith up but he's playing possum! Small package!* 1!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!NO!KICKOUT! *Dama kicks out and both men are quickly to their feet with Smith beating him to the punch. Smith begins to deliver hard shots before going behind Damaramu and dropping him on his head with a german suplex! Dama looks out of it but Smith pulls him back up and sends him into the ropes. However Dama holds on to the rope and stays there. Smith is undaunted as he runs and comes with a flying body tackle into Damaramu. Both men end up on the floor! The referee goes nuts as they are both on the outside of the ring now wildly punching one another. Dama goes low and kicks Smith in the groin. Smith doubles over as Dama backs up to the guardrail. He tries to catch his breath but Smith is on him. Both men end up spilling into the crowd. The fans are rapid as they continue there punching and kicking stalemate through the crowd and into the back.* COLE Damaramu and Ryan Smith just fought out of the arena! COACH It'll take the National Guard to pull those two apart! *Charlie Hoss is standing wondering what the hell just happened. He turns around into a Skull Mask big boot! Mask is on him choking him down on the mat. Hoss struggles and the referee is going nuts trying to pull Mask off of Hoss. Finally Mask backs off and Hoss comes to his feet nearly choking.* COLE This guy is a monster! *Hoss turns around and Mask delivers a hard boot to his stomach. Hoss doubles over as Mask pulls him down into position! The fans all stand and begin to take pictures as Mask pulls Hoss up and quickly whips around with a helicopter sitout powerbomb! Hoss is driven into the mat! The ref goes down for the count!* 1!!!!!!!!!!! 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DING! DING! DING! ANNOUNCER Ladies and Gentleman the winners of this bout........SKULL MASK AND DAMARAMU!!!!! *The fans boo as Mask stands up and then just walks out of the ring never showing any emotion whatsoever.* COLE Is he a zombie or what!? I've never seen his expression change. He's so calm, even when he's choking someone out. *Hoss remains out cold in the center of the ring as we suddenly cut to the back where about 10 cops and 15 officials have finally seperated Damaramu and Ryan Smith. Both are still going crazy trying to get at one another.* SMITH You son of a bitch! You can't stop me now! DAMA You're dead! I'll kill you! I'll break you! SMITH Anglemania! ANGLEMANIA! DAMA I'm looking forward to it! *FADE TO BLACK* Voiceover: The following classic Anglemania moment is brought to be Gatorade. Gatorade, is it in you? The Talentless Hosses Are Already In The Ring. D-Lo's Music hits and he comes down to ringside. Caboose's music plays but there's no Caboose. Finally D-lo goes backstage to get Caboose and a drunken staggering Caboose comes down to the Ring holding a beer bottle. D-Lo starts off in the ring with Albert, he goes to lock up but his hands slip because of all the body oil on Albert. Albert takes control with a POwerSLam and a devasting Scientific move: The Punch To The Head. Albert Tags In Bradshaw, who gives D-lo a Fallaway slam, he whips D-lo into the ropes but he ducks to soon and D-lo gives him a Rocker Dropper. D-lo goes to tag Caboose but Caboose is in no shape to wrestle. D-lo turns back to the match but Bradshaw gives him a low Blow, and he and Albert double team him while the Ref is distracted by Caboose's drunken antics. Albert and Bradshaw toss D-lo into the ropes but D-lo digs deep for some INTENSITY~! nd clotheslines them. D-lo crawls towards Caboose who is chugging away on the beer. D-lo has no choice but to tag Caboose in. Caboose staggers into the ring (bottle in hand) as Bradshaw points and laughs. Caboose, staggers right into him, elbowing him in the stomach. Caboose then busts the bottle over Bradshaw's head. CABOOSE ISN'T DRUNK!!! SWERVE BAYBEE!!!!!!! Albert rushes in but D-lo intercepts him and gives him the Skyhigh, Caboose climbs to top rope, and hits the Low Down. 1...2....3!! Voiceover: Anglemania Three. March Twenty Eighth.

(Return from break) Coach: Home skillets, Zack Malibu is HOT! Caboose: Coach, your rampant homoeroticism is sinking to new lows. Coach: Not that kind of hot! I mean he's mad. Displeased. Heated. Splentic. Nettled. Ireful. Caboose: Splentic? Nettled? Piss off , Walt Whitman. No one's impressed that you spanked it to a thesaurus instead of a Penthouse last night. To everyone’s surprise Zack Malibu comes walking down the aisle in his street clothes, with a bandage on the back of his head, shocking both the announce team and the fans in attendance, who welcome The Franchise with a huge pop! CABOOSE Oh lord...did you invite him out here? COLE No, but I'm not going to tell him he has to go backstage. CABOOSE Fine then, I will. COACH Sit down, RuPaul. Let's see what Zack's doing out here first. Malibu waves on Michael Buffer for the microphone, and takes it, before rolling into the ring. The cheers and loud chants of "Zack" die down, as Malibu looks out to the crowd before he speaks. ZACK You know, I'm going to give credit where credit is due. Now, I know most of you saw Zero Hour this past Sunday, right? *Fans cheer* ZACK So you all saw me take on Ragdoll. You know, Austin Baker. The same man who nearly died on this show a few weeks ago. The same man who blames me for his demons. The same man who took my girlfriend last week and... Zack stops, then rubs his hand through his hair. You can tell he's getting stressed just thinking about the incident where Candie was POP Dropped on the rampway. ZACK Austin...Ragdoll, I could have killed you on Sunday. I could have broken your neck, or your back. I could have gone into that match and beat you into oblivion, but I couldn't. You see, that's not me, Austin. I wouldn't have been able to live with myself. I wouldn't have been able to look in the mirror, or look your brother in the eye. I wanted to break both of your legs. You pushed me to a point that no man, not Anglesault or CWM or Popick has done before. You brought me into your own private hell, and tried to take me down to your level, and just when I thought I had risen above it...SLAP. You remember that? Do you people remember that? SLAP. A palm and five fingers, drenched in your own blood, Austin, smacking me across my face after I extended my hand to you. I showed you compassion in that match. I showed you respect despite what you did to me, in hopes that you'd see that there are people who want to see you clean your act up and rise above it all...and you spit on it. You spit in the face of this company when you did that. And I'm going to tell you this...I'm glad that you did it. COLE What? COACH Man, I don't know what Zack's sayin', but I'd be PISSED if someone laid a pimpslap on me like that. CABOOSE So I guess your boyfriend isn't into spankings? ZACK That slap, Austin, was a wake up call to me. Not because of you in particular, but it made me realize that I have faults. Yes, put a tape in your VCRs folks...Zack Malibu just admitted he had faults. Because no matter what I do for this company, be it bringing in stars from around the globe, working my ass off to send the fans home happy, or getting celebrity friends to help us out, there is always someone out there who thinks that I'm not good enough. That I'm a pushover. A stepping stone. People say I have no spine anymore, that I've lost my smile...lost my edge. Supestar accused me of it before the Rumble. He said that in the past I was cutting edge, now I'm cookie cutter. I've got a guy who thinks he's the main power broker around here letting a camera crew run around and disrupt this show week in and week out, and last week he also put his hands on a woman, which was probably a first for him. COACHYO~! Zack going low on the GM! ZACK So now, I've got a girlfriend at home recuperating, and a backstage area cluttered with people who don't respect me or this company and what opportunities they've been given, and I've had it. HAD IT. Northstar, Ragdoll, Silver Star, anyone back there, you think I'm a pushover? You think that I've lost my devotion to this place, and that I'm going through the motions? Then come out now and say it to my face, and we'll see in this ring who has an edge and who's putting up a front! With that, Malibu drops the mic to a big pop, and waits on someone to come out from the back to answer his call. After a minute or so, the arena fills with boos from every fans mouth, as strolling out of the back, also clad in casual attire is the OAOAST World Champion himself, Calvin Szechstein. COLE Business is gonna pick up here tonight! CABOOSE Well duh. It's the main event. This is more exciting than the wannabe Ken doll blabbering for another ten minutes. With the World Title draped over his shoulder, and clad in baggy Abercrombie jeans and a blue Ralph Lauren polo shirt (available at all Macy's locations), Calvin Szechstein steps into the ring slowly, and reaches down for the mic, never taking his eye of Zack Malibu. CALVIN That was great, Zack. No really, bravo. Kudos to you. Everyone give him a round of applause for that pep talk! Calvin mockingly pats Zack on the shoulder, but Zack just scowls at him. CALVIN See Zack, you know it's funny, but I didn't get the impression at all the other night that Ragdoll was spitting in your face. I think you took things the wrong way. What he was saying, basically, was to get the HELL out of the way! You have somehow, someway, through EXCESSIVE ass kissing, managed to secure a comfy, cozy spot on this roster without doing anything of merit since you lost your precious World Title to me last August. Sure, you got that HUGE win over Anglesault last year at Anglemania. You destroyed the scourge that was Stephen Joseph, right? Wrong. Those were short term solutions to long term problems, Zack. Anglesault came back...as an ass kidding baby hugger, no less. Joseph came back, although he's going to rot on that sinking ship that they call IZ for all eternity. You never got anything done, Zack. You've never lived up to your word, and you know what that makes you in my eyes, Zack? It makes you a god damn LIAR. Calvin gets right up in Zack's face, as the fans boo loudly. Zack doesn't flinch. CALVIN You heard me, Malibu. So now what, you got the big win over Ragdoll, and what are you looking for? You're looking for this, right? Well you know what, why the hell should I risk this belt for someone who is the biggest fraud in wrestling history? So you can make another empty promise to these people, saying you're going to regain it when we all know that I've had your number for the last eight months? Please Zack, just give it up. Go home and relax with Candie, a girl, whom I might add, you would have never even met had it not been for me. So go home with my leftovers, Malibu, and pull out the classified ads. Go open a club or something. Go back to working the counter at the GAP, but get the hell out of my ring, you worthless sonuva... SMACK! Calvin DROPS, thanks to a right hand from Zack Malibu! Calvin gets up and comes at him, and we've got a pull apart in mid ring between the champion and his most heated rival! COLE We need help out here bigtime! In a flash, the locker room empties, as staff and workers alike hit the ring to seperate these two as tensions have boiled over. Malibu continues to lunge at Calvin, who nonchalantly picks up his title and stares Malibu down. CABOOSE What a cheap shot artist. Calvin goes to exit the ring, but Zack breaks free from K Money, Crystal and Panther, pouncing on Calvin before he can head for higher ground! Zack is finally dragged back, as they hold his arms, and Calvin turns around and spits right in his face! Malibu kicks and tries to free himself, but everyone concentrates their efforts on calming him down. Road agent Rick Martel orders Calvin out of the ring, and he happily obliges, wrapping the belt over his shoulder again and pointing at Zack, saying "Think about it", as the cameras fade, and we end the show.

(Return from break) Coach: Main event time! Cole: Northstar isn't really going to fight the Macho Man. Is he? That's crazy! Northstar's crazy. He's going against a former world champion, a former Wrestlemania main eventer, a man who's beaten Hogan, Flair, Steamboat, and Savage. Wait, he is Savage. You get my point! Caboose: No, you're crazy. Northstar's whupped the ass of Tim Moysey, CWM, Spider Poet, Zack Malibu (six times), La Parka, and Anglesault. Can you say that about Nacho Man? Can you say that about anyone in the OAOAST? Cole: We can debate until the cows come home about your liberal use of the word "ass whupped" but Macho Man is a former world champion. Caboose: If those matches had been for the world title, he'd be a six time world champ. It's not his fault he's only been granted ONE title shot, when some people named Malibutt seem to get one every month. That's beside the point, Northstar is quicker, faster and smarter. Macho Man can't keep up. If Mach was so great how come he didn't beat Northstar up last week? Cole: He got sucker punched! Caboose: Bull. Northstar said "I'll give you something to weep about". And he didn't say it in his ditzy voice, he said it in the cruel, deep voice he uses when he's about to mess you up. Macho Man knew it was coming but he was to slow to get out the way. Nacho can't hold a candle to Northstar. Northstar is the penultimate sports entertainer. I bow before his immense glory and weep for those who aren't even talented enough to dream that their as good as him. Northstar's the man The Rock wants to be when he grows up. Cole: Hold the phone. At last year’s fourth of July barbecue, you said he couldn't draw flies if he was smeared in dog shit. Caboose: Incorrect, cur! I said that about Shattered Dreams, not Sir Northstar. They two very different people. Coach: No they aren't. Caboose: Uh, yes they are. One is a blonde and one has blonde highlights. Cole: Shattered Dreams, Sminky Apellebaum what ever you want to call him, Northstar is a disgrace not just to the OAOAST but to wrestling in general. His fiance realized it, why can't you? THUMP. THUMP. THUMP. Coach: Good lord! It's Tazz! The arena grows dark and three red spotlights rapidly travel across the fans. The sounds of a heart beat are heard of the loud speaker. THUMP. THUMP. THUMP R U READY? The crowd responds with an enthusiastic yes and "R U Ready" by Macho Man Randy Savage hits! Coach: Boo-Boo, what's your favorite part of a Macho Man match? Caboose: When its over. The wrestling legend steps out from the back and receives a thunderous ovation! Chants of "Macho! Macho!" break out as Macho tears off a red and yellow "Hulkamania" shirt to reveal a black and white "Be a man" shirt! Buffer: The following match is scheduled for one fall and has a TV time limit of forty minutes. Now making his way to the ring, from Sarasota, Florida, weighing in at two hundred thirty pounds he is a former WWF world champion, a former Intercontinental champion and a former WCW world heavy weight champion, he is the Macho Man RANDY SAAAAAAAAVAAAAAAGE~~~~~~~~~~~! The crowd's cheers grow even louder at the mention of legends name! Caboose: Talk about a disgrace to wrestling. Randy Poffo still can't let his petty feud with Hulk Hogan die. What a sad and bitter troll. Coach: Pot. Kettle. Black. Macho confidently walks to the ring, talking trash aimed at Northstar into the camera that's positioned in front of him. He jumps onto the ring apron, then steps over the ropes and into the ring. He rips off his "Be a man" shirt and throws it out into the crowd. A fight breaks out over who gets to take home the shirt. Macho pays no mind to the scuffle and instead focuses his attention to the entrance way. The lights dim, and a golden star shines on the top of the entrance stage. Knowing who's coming out next the fans begin their cat calls. SIZZZZLEEE. SIZZZZLEEE A golden shower of pyro rains down from ceiling and onto the entrance stage. "California Dreamin" by DJ Sammy hits and through the raining pyro, steps General Manager Northstar and his gal pal and tonight's special guest ref, Jenna Elfman! Northstar twirls Jenna around like a ballet then dips her and passionately kisses her as the golden pyro falls on their body, bathing them in yellow shower. It's highly photographic scene and the fans respond by whipping it their cameras and taking pictures. Camera flashes fill the arena as Northstar and Jenna hold their magical pose. Coach: Northstar's a good looking guy. Nice thick hair. Nice eyebrows. Caboose: Not to thin, but not to fat. Very nice. And that second ass implant has done wonders for him! Cole: I think he looks like a girl. Coach: Oh yeah, definitely. That's why its okay to fantasize about him. Caboose: Wha? Coach: Uh..... If a dude was to uh.... you know have fantasies about Northstar it would be okay, because he's kind of girly looking. So, they could use that as an excuse. Not saying I fantasize about Northstar, because I'm straighter then John Wayne but if someone does uh....it doesn't make them gay or nothing. Because, I still like doing chicks and I don't think a wet dream about Northstar should count on my gay card. Fellas? Caboose and Cole: ....... Buffer: Ladies and gentlemen on their way to the ring, first the special guest referee, she is the star of "3 Stages of Hell" and star of "Dharma and Greg" she is the one, the only Jenna ELLLLLFMAAAAAAAN! Caboose: That's a broad with class and ass. Jenna waves to the fans. They surprisingly cheer for her, not wanting her to be punished for Northstar's utterly shameless actions. She's decked out in a traditional referee shirt and a nontraditional pair of black cut off shorts. Buffer: And Macho Man's opponent, he is the General Manager of HeldDOWN~!, he weighs in at a muscular one hundred ninety pounds, straight from Beverly Hills, California he is....NOOOOOOOOORTHSTAAAAAARR! Oh, California dreamin' (California dreamin') On such a winter's day (California dreamin') On such a winter's day (California dreamin') Crowd: Northstar sucks! Northstar sucks! Northstar sucks! Northstar stops in the middle of the entrance ramp and does a slow and graceful twirl, making sure everyone gets a good look at all parts of sculpted body. Northstar's clad in black leather bell bottoms with bright gold stars running down the side. He's wearing the always fashionable glittery silver eye shadow and matching lip gloss. Caboose: Put up that tent yet, Coach? Coach: Shut up!!!! Northstar gets onto the ring apron. He stops to gyrate his hips and blow a kiss to his less than adoring public. He holds the ropes open for Jenna and she steps in. He follows her, but instead of starting the match he grabs Buffer's microphone. Northstar: Macho Man Randy Savage! Oooooh yeah, loooooove! On your website that I so generously continue to pay for you claim that you have a passion to entertain, and a passion for music. Judging by the recent "success" of your debut "album", I can only surmise that you have a passion for failure as well. After you issued a misguided and ill advised challenge to yours truly it would seem you also have a passion to be humiliated . No where in your mind could you possibly see fit to entertain the thought that you could beat me! It is for that reason that I regard you as a fool, worth little more to me and my organization than a toad or a common rodent. You, who was once a proud and glorious champion have seen yourself reduced to little more than a novelty act, used for painfully embarrassingly and totally unfunny comedy skits. Sugar, your continued existence only serves to prove that god has a twisted sense of humor. My company is worse for having you under its employ. Last week, your pitiful attempt to patronize me was greeted with a liquor bottle to the your wrinkled and pitiful face! Tonight, your laughable attempt to regain whatever dignity remained after that hideous rap album, will be met with a swift and brutal burial, the likes of which would make Public Enemy say "Damn, that dude just got buried!" Enjoy your match pretty baby, for it will be your last! Northstar tosses the microphone back to Buffer, who's positioned outside the ring. Northstar pats Jenna on the BUTT, drawing a semi irritated look from his girl. However she says nothing to Northstar and instead tells the time keeper to ring the bell. * ding ding ding* Cole: I talked to the Macho Man earlier today. He said he is more psyched than any of us could imagine. He says he's spend all week preparing for this match and that he's going beat Northstar and prove to Hulk Hogan that he is the lion king.... Don't ask. Coach: Macho's trippin if he thinks he's going to beat Northstar when Jenna's referring the match. Northstar and Macho Man cautiously circle each other, neither one wanting to give the other an opportunity to make the first move. Macho Man throws out a tentative jab that's easily swatted away by Northstar. The GM goes low for a double leg takedown but Macho quickly steps aside. Macho's lips curve upward into a sly smile and he gives Northstar the one finger salute! Crowd: Northstar sucks! Northstar sucks! Northstar sucks! Caboose: No class from this legend. Don't forget Macho, at the end of this match Northstar's the one crossing the T's on your pay check! Macho waves his middle finger in front of Northstar's heavily made up face. Even Jenna Elfman can't help but laugh at Northstar growing irritation with the king of madness. Northstar tells her to stop laughing, then venomously shoves Macho into the ropes! The crowd goes "Ooh" when Macho nearly falls out of the ring. The former world champ shakes his head, lunges forward and shoves Northstar to the ground! Crowd: Macho! Macho! Macho! Macho Man puts his fists in front of his face and yells "C'mon punk!". Northstar gets on his knees without haste. He glares at the man who wants to kick his ass. Macho continues to urge the GM to get to stand up and fight. Northstar obliges the request and throws a punch Macho's way. Macho blocks the punch! BAM! He levels the GM with a punch of his own! Northstar falls to the mat with a thud! His pride is more hurt than his face. Completely shocked and insulted that this old timer could one up him, Northstar wisely rolls out of the squared circle. Crowd: Northstar's gay! Northstar's gay! Northstar's star gay! Coach: Northstar's smart! His girl friend would never count him out. Just as Coach finishes that thought, Jenna begins her count! And it's a fast one at that. Northstar's stands amazed that she would even think of counting him out! "What in the name of sanity are you doing, Jen? Stop counting!" He exclaims. "You told me to be a fair and balanced referee." She says plainly. " This isn't Fox News! I was only joking. Stop counting!" Jenna hears his orders but continues her count, slowing it down just a tad. Cole: You were saying? Northstar hops onto the ring apron, ending the count. Macho comes over to his adversary and fires off a right hand! Ducked! POW! Northstar head butts Macho in the nose, staggering the wrestling legend. Northstar leans back on the ropes and spring boards into the ring. In mid air he extends his legs onto Macho's shoulders and takes him down with a graceful hurricanrana! "The world is mine!" Northstar proclaims, his voiced filled with deplorable arrogance. Northstar kisses Jenna on the cheek, leaving a silver lip stick mark. He brings Macho Man to his feet, cockily slapping him in the face as he stands him up. Northstar hammers Macho with four stiff fore arm shots before whipping him into the corner. Northstar charges at Macho for a turnbuckle clothesline! WHOOMP! Macho moves out of the way and Northstar collides stomach first with the turnbuckle! Macho spins the dazed darling around so that his back is facing the turnbuckle. POW! POW POW! POW! Macho smashes Northstar's face with hard right hands! Macho grabs a blonde braid in Northstar's hair and drags the GM to the middle of the ring. Cole: Hopefully, he's going to rip that stupid weave off his head. Coach: Weave? Oh no you didn't! "Pay attention, HOGAN!" Macho bellows, as he hooks Northstar into a side head lock. Macho begins to rain punches onto the top of Northstar's head. As each blow connects, the crowd's cheering grows louder and louder! Finally, Northstar is able to shove Macho into the ropes. He makes the unusual mistake of putting his head down, allowing Macho to nail him with a Triple H face crusher! The blow causes Northstar to pop up and clutch his bruised face. Macho takes advantage of his prone position by leveling him with a diving clothesline! Macho goes for a lateral press! Pin attempt 1....KICK OUT! Cole: Was that a slow count or am I being paranoid? Coach: Paranoid. Macho brings Northstar to his knees, he punches him several times on the forehead then boots him back down to the ground! Macho cups his ears, like his arch rival and soaks in the crowd's chants. Crowd: Macho! Macho! Macho! Macho stops playing to the crowd and yanks Northstar upright. BAM! BAM BAM! More punches to Northstar's face by the Macho Man. Each doing more damage than the previous. Growing weary off getting his face bashed in after he just curled his eye lashes, Northstar kicks Macho in the balls! The crowd displays their disfavor for Northstar's cheap shot with a round of boos! Northstar responds by telling them to "Blow it out your ass!" "Hey! That wasn't nice." Jenna admonishes him. His insult is going against the saint like image he maintains around her. "All's fair in love and mid card matches." Northstar responds sarcastically. Northstar hammers Macho in the face with a back handed slap. The move stuns the legend and gives Northstar time to set up his next devastating attack. Northstar brushes a highlighted strand of hair away from his cobalt blue eyes. He crosses Macho's man arms in front his body. "You're gonna love me for this, sweetie" He mumbles as he bends Macho over and hooks him under his arm. Northstar releases Macho's left arm and reaches through the king of madness' legs. He lifts him upside down, causing the crowd to gasp in awe at the deadly move that's coming up. The crowd boos lustily as Northstar continues to hold Macho upside down, displaying his previously underrated strength. Finally, Northstar falls backwards to the ground. BASH! Northstar drives Macho head first into the ground! Caboose: That's called a Crossed Arms brainbuster. I like it. I love it. But Macho doesn't want some more of it! Northstar surveys the damage then giggles with sickening glee! He stands up and bows to the fans. Crowd: Fuck Northstar! Fuck Northstar! Fuck Northstar! Northstar's puts his hands to his shiny silver lips, then spanks his BUTT, symbolically telling the crowd to "Kiss his ass". The message only gets them more riled up, as some drunken fans start to toss beer cups towards the ring. Caboose: No class from Macho Man, no class from his fans. There's never an excuse to endanger a sexy babe, like that. Coach: And Jenna could get hurt to! Caboose: Dude.... Northstar lets Macho get to his feet. A sound strategy that allows Northstar to save energy while Macho wastes more of his. BAM! Northstar knees Macho in the gut. Macho doubles over in pain, but Northstar knocks him upright with a well placed upper cut. Macho looks as if he's about to fall to the ground, but Northstar grabs his arm and whips him into the ropes! Macho comes roaring back with a flying fore arm shot! The move sends Northstar to the ground! However it appears that the attack took just as much out of Northstar as it did Macho. The former Wrestlemania main eventer noticeably winces in pain as he struggles to climb on top of Northstar for a cover. Pin attempt 1..2..KICK OUT! Caboose: That was a fast count. That was a fast count! Just who is she committing acts of adultery with any way? Now she's got ass but no class! Northstar shares Caboose's sentiments. He rolls Macho off him and gives Jenna a few choice words about her referring. The presently unhappy couple continue their bickering even as Northstar brings Macho to his feet. "I can't imagine it would be that hard to count at a reasonable pace." Northstar remarks as he pounds on Macho Man with forearms to the back. "That was a reasonable pace!" Jenna rebuts. "Yeah, if you're Quicksilver!" Northstar exclaims. He's actually shocked that she's trying to defend the count that almost cost him the match. "Who's Quicksilver?" "Don't play ditz with me!" Northstar orders her after he levels Macho Man with a Flatliner. Crowd(to Jenna): Kick his ass! Kick his ass! Kick his ass! Northstar mounts Macho Man and nails him with punches to the face. "Watch the closed fist or I'll DQ you. And I'm not talking about Dairy Queen, honey" Jenna says condescendingly. A smile coming over her face as a frown comes over Northstar's. Despite his rapidly increasing frustration, Northstar dismounts Macho. He brings the Slim Jim spokesman to his feet. Northstar drags the veteran to the corner in hopes of smashing his wrinkled face into the turnbuckle. Macho has other ideas and he nails Northstar in the stomach with an elbow! Macho uses what's left of his strength to stagger Northstar with two quick elbows to the forehead! The old school soldier slowly climbs to the second rope while Northstar tries to shake the cobwebs. Coach: What's he gonna do Boo-Boo? What's he gonna do? Caboose: If you shut up and watch, maybe you'll find out. Crowd: Macho! Macho! Macho! Macho leaps off with an axe handle smash! SMAAAAAAACK! Northstar blocks the move by super kicking his opponent on his descent! THUD! Macho hits the mat hard! Northstar drops down to his knees for a pin fall! Pin attempt with a foot on the ropes! 1....2.... Jenna suddenly stops her count when she sees Northstar's foot on the rope. Her act of fairness draws a pop from the crowd. Caboose: Damn it, woman! Get it together and count the three. Don't disrespect my boss with your monkey shines! All ass, no class. Northstar looks at Jenna in shock "Like, what are you doing?" "I'm not going to help you cheat!" Jenna proclaims sternly. Northstar lowers his head, causing his hair to fall in front of his eyes. "Don't be ridiculous, Jenna!" "Win cleanly, or don't win at all." Northstar scoff's at what he perceives to be Jenna's self righteousness. He begrudgingly applies the Liontamer! The crowd boos loudly at the move Northstar used to torture Candie a week ago. At this point the finish is academic and Macho weakly taps out. Jenna signals for the time keeper to king the bell and he does just that. Buffer: Your winner.......Northstar! Crowd: Northstar sucks! Northstar sucks! Northstar sucks! "California Dreamin" blasts over the loud speakers as Jenna goes to raise Northstar's hand. Instead, Northstar quickly yanks it away. He wants answers from Jenna and he wants them now. Cole: Trouble in paradise. This'll be good "What's your problem all of a sudden?" She asks. Northstar places his hands on his hips and tilts his head. How could she not know what the problem was? "What the heck is wrong with you?" She asks again. "You could've cost me my match!" "So what? If you had to cheat, you're better off loosing. I know that you're better than that. You don't have to resort to those kind of tactics. "You didn't want me to cheat? Who do you think you are? My mother? Do you have any idea how embarrassing getting beat by Macho Man would've been? I would've never been able to show my face around this company again if I had lost to Randy Fucking Savage! Good Jesus in heaven, I wouldn't have been able to live that down in a million years! Any respect I've amassed would've been flushed down the toilet because you wanted to turn my match into an afternoon special on ethics. Shit, Jenna, do you know what your dumb ass almost did?" "Time out! You cursed at me. Don't curse at me! Ever! Do I curse at you?!" "If I came onto the set of whatever dumb artsy fartsy play you work on when you're not guest starring on second rate sitcoms trying add some T&A and made an ass of myself, then yeah, I'd expect you to cuss up a whale storm! "Second rate sitcoms? T&A? Is that what you think of my work?" "I....I didn't mean it like that. Jenna, I'm sorry." "No. You're sorry you said it to my face, you're not sorry for thinking it. You know what? You go around and talk like your hot shit, even though your a perverted, womanizing, two faced, lying creep! You wanna talk embarrassment? Here's an embarrassment for you!" The crowd pops huge as Jenna uses all of her strength to shove Northstar to the ground! Crowd: Kick his ass! Kick his ass! Kick his ass! Northstar pops right back up full of piss and vinegar. Jenna shoves him down just as easily as before! She leaves the ring without saying a word as the crowd continues to taunt her (ex?) boyfriend. Northstar rolls over on his stomach and bashes his fists against the mat. Tears start to flow from his eyes! He rolls over onto his back and flails about like a three year old who's just told he has to take a both. We fade out as Northstar continues his temper tantrum with the crowd still mocking him. (Go to break)

(Return from break) "Smells Like Teen Spirit" blares over the arena speakers as CWM steps out onto the stage! The fans come to their feet at the sight of their hero and a MONSTROUS chant rises from the stands!! COLE "What the...it's CWM!" CWM stands atop the ramp, several scars on his face, and a heavy bandage around his ribs. COACH "CWM! He's here, he's in the building! But, he's suspended! How can he be out here if he's suspended!" COLE "I have no idea, but if he's directly defying his suspension, it must be pretty big!" CABOOSE "Can we get security out here?" COLE "Will you stop." CABOOSE "What? He's in direct violation of the suspension levied by our General Manager. He shouldn't be here!" COACH "But he IS here!" COLE "Like it or not, 'Boose, CWM is here in the building, and it looks like he has something to say about what went down this past Sunday at Zero Hour!" CWM rolls into the ring, then points out to the crowd, saluting the standing fans. He then grabs a mic from a tech outside the ring. CWM stands, looking out across the fans as he waits for the ovation to die down. COLE"I can't imagine what CWM must be thinking after what happened at the end of his match, his FIGHT, at Zero Hour." COACH "What about Hoff? Wonder if we'll get a reaction from him later." COLE "No doubt Hoff has a lot on his mind, and-- whoa, here we go." CWM "Hey." The fans' cheers swell again. CWM "Hoff, or Northstar...I don't care which one, but somebody better get their ass out here right now!" COLE "CWM is wasting no time calling his adversaries out!" CWM paces around the ring for a moment, looking up the ramp...when out comes Northstar, with several security guards. CABOOSE "Here we go, finally." COLE "Northstar is out, hopefully to answer for his actions at Zero Hour!" CABOOSE "What? What does he have to answer for? It's his decision. CWM is the one with some explaining to do." Northstar approaches the ring, but doesn't enter. NORTHSTAR "What the hell is wrong with you?" A chorus of boos goes up from the fans. NORTHSTAR "You're suspended! That means you have no business being here. Boys, if you would please." Northstar gestures to his security force, who slide in the ring and advance on CWM. CWM puts his guard up. The security spreads around CWM and beings to advance, when suddenly a cheer goes up from the audience! COACH "Wait-- on the entranceway!" COLE "It's Hoff!" The cheers and boos mix as Hoff steps out onto the stage, mic in hand. HOFF "Whoa, whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa." Northstar spins areound to address Hoff. NORTHSTAR "What, what the hell is this? You don't have any business here, get to the back, sugar. Now." Hoff levels a glare at Northstar. HOFF "Oh, see, I do think I have business out here. This is very much my business." COLE "What could Hoff mean?" Hoff starts walking toward the ring. NORTHSTAR "Hoff I mean it, get out of here, or--" HOFF "Or what? You'll suspend me too?" Northstar hesitates, then nods tenatively. HOFF "Uh-uh. I don't think you will. See, last night I showed you -- and the world -- that I can stand up to anyone in this business...even a guy trying to kill me." The fans cheers go up slightly again. CWM cocks his head and listens intently. HOFF "And after last night, well, let's just say I have something to prove." Hoff gestures to CWM. HOFF "See, you want your revenge. That's great; I get it. But now, I want something too." CWM opens his mouth to speak, but Northstar cuts him off. NORTHSTAR "Oh no, no no. *looking at Hoff* Don't you come any closer. That man is not cleared to wrestle, and he is not allowed in this ring. He is--" HOFF "Suspended?!" Northstar again nods. HOFF "Is that so. You're really gonna suspend one of this company's icons. Northstar swallows hard, but nods again. HOFF "Well that's very interesting. You see, I just got off the phone with one Dan Black, and he says that if you put CWM on the shelf, he's ready to offer the man a multi-year, million-dollar contract. And if CWM goes...I go." NORTHSTAR "Wait, no, he can't do that!! Suspended or no, this man is still HeldDown property..." CWM advances on Northstar, but security steps in the way. HOFF "Black doesn't care. Sue him if you like. But do you really want to lose him -- or me -- to IntenseZone?" Northstar stares Hoff down... COLE "You can see the fear in Northstar's eyes here." COACH "Is Hoff serious?" NORTHSTAR "You're bluffing." HOFF "Try me." Northstar looks at Hoff, then at his shoes, then at Hoff again. NORTHSTAR "...Fine. CWM is no longer suspended." Hoff smiles. NORTHSTAR "BUT, he's still not allowed in the ring until cleared from his doctor." HOFF "That's just fine. I'm sure that--" CWM "Why are you doing this?" The security steps back, leaving a path between CWM in the ring and Hoff on the outside. Hoff rolls in the ring and pops to his feet. HOFF "You want to know why?" CWM steps toward Hoff. The two are almost nose to nose. COLE "Oh my God...this could explode at any second." HOFF "I'll tell you why. Last Sunday, you beat the hell out of me. You took me to hell and back...and yet, the whole time, you can't look me in the eye and say I didn't hit you just as hard." CWM's gaze remains unwavering. HOFF "I took everything you had and then some...but before I could finish the job, we got...cut short." Hoff pauses. "So now, you could say I have...something to prove. I want to beat you, CWM. I want to beat you clean in the center of the ring, 1-2-3. To prove to you, to myself, and to everyone else that I can hang." CWM steps back, and smirks slightly. HOFF"So I tell you what -- you just get your forms together. You take care of your problems, and I'll set us a nice little table for two...at Anglemania." The crowd ROARS at this challenge. CWM looks out across the fans...looks back to Hoff...and nods. CWM "I accept." COLE "CWM vs. Hoff at Anglemania!! Can you believe it?" CWM "But big man...you better be ready." CWM throws his mic down and hits Hoff with a huge right hand! Hoff and CWM lock up and begin wailing on each other with closed fists! Finally, security pulls the two men apart! One group of guards escorts CWM out of the ring, and the other holds Hoff back. The camera zooms in on Hoff, who has a huge smile on his face. COACH "Man I can't believe what we just heard! Hoff vs. CWM at Anglemania 3, what a match!" CABOOSE "IF CWM can get his doctor's approval. We can't have crippled old men working the biggest show of the year." COLE "Well, I think CWM will find a way to get it done. Folks, this has been a wild night already, and we've got lots more ahead, so stay tuned! *fade to commercial* (Go to break)

(Return from break) (We cut backstage, where Northstar is discussing something with one of the segment producers. Out of nowhere, Sly Sommers approaches him.) SLY: Hey, Northstar! Last Sunday, what do I do? I defeated Crystal, one of your big stars. Then, I defeated Puerto Rican Lightning, one of Intense Zone's biggest stars. Sure, I lost to Jacob Lyne in the finals, but that was one hell of a match...even the dirtsheet dudes loved it! So, what happens when I show up at the building tonight? Am I given a title shot? NOOOO! Am I given a number-one contenders' match? NOOOO! Am I even given a match or promo time? HELL NO! I come here, and my name is nowhere to be seen on the format sheet! What in the hell is up with that? NORTHSTAR: Well... (Out of nowhere, Peter Knight appears from the other side.) KNIGHT: Northstar, man listen...I think I've made a pretty good splash in HeldDOWN~!. I mean, I haven't headlined every show I've been on, but I'm sure as hell not being a dud like some people around here. So what do I get for it? I'm not on the show for the past couple of weeks, I'm not booked for Zero Hour, and I get to the building tonight, and guess what? One of YOUR goons told me that my services will not be needed for a while! If you don't give me an explanation, I'm gonna get rid of your services for good! NORTHSTAR: Listen, listen....guys, I've been kind of busy lately. I mean, we are only a month away from the single biggest show in this company's history! I got contracts to finalize, places to go to, people to do...I mean, things to do. But, I am sorry for leaving you two out in the cold. So, since I am a nice guy, and I know that you two are two of the most underrated wrestlers in this company, I'll book something really special to make this all up to you. You see, most companies make the mistake of not having anything to follow up their biggest shows ever, which then leads them down a road of nothingness. Not HeldDOWN~!. I need a big marquee match for the next Pay-Per-View after Anglemania, so the buyrates don't come crashing down. That's where you two come in. So, at Anglemania III, it will be Peter Knight versus Totally Endorsed's Sly "The Sly" Sommers...and the winner faces the winner of the HeldDOWN~! World Title match at Anglemania III in April! How about that? SLY: I dig the idea and all...but, I have no reason to fight Peter here. KNIGHT: Same here; I mean, Sly's a good wrestler, and even a snazzy dresser. SLY: And Peter, you my friend....have...a...nice nose? Yep, that's it? A nice nose. KNIGHT: Um....okay. But the thought remains, outside of the really nice prize for the winner, we don't want to fight each other. NORTHSTAR: Let me think...hey Sly, look over there! (Sly turns his head, Northstar slaps the back of his head; Sly turns around, and Northstar blames Knight, who denies it) SLY: You son of a... KNIGHT: I didn't do it! (Sly slaps Knight) Fine, you want some? (Knight throws a punch, and Sly and Knight then start brawling out of view) NORTHSTAR: I love this job! (Back to La SC) COACH: The next match here will be the fifth installment in the Seven Sins Series, between St. Andrew's Minions and the Global Party Exchange. MC: Last week, the GPX finally got the monkey off of their backs, as they got their first win in the series in a two-out-of-three falls match. But, more importantly, Johnny Jackson, who's been considered the "fall guy" in the series thus far, finally got to redeem himself in the final fall! CABOOSE: But remember, they're still in imminent danger of losing this entire thing...all it takes is one win from the Minions. COACH: That's true. This match will be contested under Tornado rules, since Northstar has noticed that every match in this series has had a tendency of breaking down to a free-for-all in the closing minutes, and he figured he might as well not make anyone wait. MC: With that being said, let's go to the ring for the fifth match in this best-of-seven series! ("Pompeii" comes on, and the Minions storm to the ring, obviously angry from their loss the previous week.) BUFFER: The following is a Tornado-style contest, where all four competitors are legally involved for the entire match length, and is the fifth match in the Seven Sins Series. Introducing first, weighing in tonight at a combined weight of 408 pounds; from St. Andrew's Cathedral, they are currently leading in the series two-to-nothing, they are Michael and Nathaniel, the Minions! MC: I think these two are really frustrated about last week, but at the same time, they still have no reason to be nearly as nervous as the GPX, who only have to lose one more time to lose the entire series. ("Make Her Say" starts up, and the screeching calls from the teenage girls in the crowd lead out Johnny "Jam" Jackson and Scotty Static, the Global Party Exchange. They spit their water from the water bottles upward, and then throw the water bottles out in the crowd. Then, Static pulls off his Detroit Red Wings oversized hockey jersey off, and gives it to a girl in the front row. The GPX then run down the aisle, and the fight starts before any announcement can be made.) MC: These guys are trying to put Michael Buffer out of a job! CABOOSE: His unoriginality did the job way before these four could! Jackson and Static slide into the ring, and run at the Minions. They slide under the Minions' legs at the same time before Nathaniel or Michael could do anything. The Minions turn around, and both get nailed in the jaw at the same time. Johnny and Scotty punch the Minions repeatedly until they fall back into the ropes. Stereo Irish whips from the GPX, but the Minions reverse. The GPX leapfrog the Minions at the same time, and continue to run. Johnny and Scotty come off of the ropes, and run right into hiptosses from the Minions. But, the GPX land on their feet, and pull Nathaniel and Michael skull-to-skull, knocking both of them down. Scotty and Johnny then rise to their feet, slap hands, and nail stereo standing moonsaults onto the Minions. Double cover........1........2.......kickout! MC: So far, it's been nothing but the Global Party Exchange! Johnny pulls up Nathaniel and shoves him into a corner, as Scotty does the same with Michael in the opposite corner. Both GPX members whip their opponents, but again the Minions reverse it. Scotty leapfrogs Jackson, and they both connect with jumping forearms to the faces of the Minions, sending them back to the corners. Both GPX members then hook their Minion under the armpit, and hiptoss them to mid-ring, where they collide back-first in mid-air. Both Minions then stumble to their feet, and stand near the ropes. Johnny and Scotty charge at them, but the Minions end up backdropping them over the top rope at the same time. Jackson and Static land on their feet, the Minions turn around, and both get nailed in the stomach with a shoulderblock. Both GPX members then springboard to the top rope, flip off, kick the Minions in their backs with both feet (sending them to the outside), and land on their feet! COACH: Holy smokes, that was amazing! CABOOSE: Who in the hell says "holy smokes" anymore? Both Minions stumble to their feet on the floor, and Static takes off. He bounces off of the ropes at the other end, runs forward, and nails a tremendous-looking no-touch over-the-top-rope corkscrew tope onto both Minions! But, the Minions catch him. So, Johnny Jackson springboards to the top rope, and nails an amazing 450 plancha onto the Minions to send them down! MC: Wow, what a series of dives from the GPX! Jackson then pulls Nathaniel out of the pool of bodies, and throws him back into the ring. Johnny quickly steps to the top rope, and right as Nathaniel gets to his feet, Johnny nails a tremendous missile dropkick to the face! Jackson goes for the cover.........1...........2.........kickout. Johnny pulls Nathaniel up, chops him, and sends him off to the ropes. Nathaniel comes back and tries to leapfrog over Jackson. But, Johnny catches Nathaniel's legs behind him and underneath his armpits, pushes the legs down so the rest of Nathaniel comes up, and slams him down face-first on the mat! COACH: Even more innovation from the Global Party Exchange! Just at that moment, Scotty Static and Michael come into the ring together, and Static is nailing Michael with punches to the head. Static grabs Michael's hand, and tries to go for an Arabian springboard armdrag, but Michael pulls him down, and drops him onto his knee for a backbreaker. Johnny Jackson then charges at Michael, and goes for a flying headscissors. But, Michael reverses by bringing him down face-first onto his knee. Then, in one fluid motion, Michael hooks Johnny's head and brings him down with a falling reverse DDT. Michael sits Jackson up, and goes to the second rope. Michael then connects with a dropkick to the back of Jackson's head. Nathaniel gets to his feet as Michael pulls Johnny up. Michael picks Jackson up, and slams him onto Nathaniel's bent knee back-first. COACH: Just like that, the tide has turned! Scotty Static charges at both Minions, but gets a flapjack onto his prone partner for his troubles. Nathaniel then pulls Jackson up to his feet. Nathaniel lifts Johnny over his head, crucifix-bomb-style. Michael goes to the apron, and then springboards to the top rope behind Jackson. Michael brings Johnny down with a devastating elevated double-team bulldog! In one fluid motion again, Michael turns Johnny over, and lifts him off the ground, over his shoulder powerslam-style. Nathaniel then gets a running start, and the Minions nail an impressive double-team inverted swinging neckbreaker! Nathaniel goes for the cover........1..........2.......Scotty breaks it up! CABOOSE: That wasn't smart, Static...they're gonna beat the life out of you too now! Michael then charges at Scotty, and nearly kicks his head off. Michael pulls Static up, and goes for a slam. Scotty lands on his feet behind Michael, but Michael, who drops down to the mat, trips up Static right into a Yakuza kick by Nathaniel that sends Static back into the corner. Static stumbles out of the corner, but Nathaniel is able to grab Scotty, and bring him down with a lifting, elevated flatliner. Nathaniel keeps ahold of Scotty's chin as they lie on the mat, and sits up. Nathaniel then charges at Scotty, and kicks him right in the mouth! COACH: Field goal for the Minions! Nathaniel then pulls Scotty off of the mat, as Jackson slowly starts to crawl back into the ring. Nathaniel then lifts Scotty up fisherman's style, and then drops him neck-first onto Michael's bent knee! Nathaniel then picks up Michael in a powerbomb position, and drops his partner with a senton across Static's chest! Michael goes for the cover..........1.........2.........kickout! Nathaniel pulls Scotty up, and lifts him for some sort of over-the-shoulder powerbomb-type move. But, Johnny Jackson sneaks up behind Nathaniel and shoves his partner's legs back so Static is able to reverse into a sunset flip..........1...........2......Nathaniel reverses into a cradle of his own, but Jackson kicks him stiffly in the spine to immediately break it up! MC: The GPX ain't dead yet! CABOOSE: But they will be in a few minutes! Michael charges at Jackson, and goes for a flying headscissors. But, he changes moves mid-way, and instead locks in an octopus hold. Johnny quickly climbs up the ropes for some reason, and then moonsaults his way into a pin on the ground.......1..........2......kickout! Johnny pops up, and ducks a running punch from Nathaniel. Jackson spins Nathaniel around, kicks him in the stomach, and lifts and drops him with a powerbomb into a cradle.........1.........2......Michael breaks it up. Michael hooks Jackson, and goes for a suplex. Johnny tries slipping out the back end, but gets caught in over-the-shoulder-powerslam position by Nathaniel, as Michael hooks his head. The Minions then drop Johnny with a double-team Stunner/gutbuster! As the Minions rise to their feet, Scotty jumps on Michael and starts ratting off rapid-fire punches to the face. Nathaniel tries pulling him off with a German suplex, but Scotty pushes off of Michael and backflips out to his feet. Static then shoves a bent-over Michael shoulder-first into Nathaniel's mid-section. Scotty follows up by running, leaping onto Michael's back, and connecting with a Shining Wizard to Nathaniel's face! COACH: Scotty Static is a one-man house of fire! Static balances himself on the top rope, and flips himself into a sunset flip on Michael.......1.........2......Nathaniel breaks it up. Jackson pops up, uses his fallen partner as a launching pad, and sends both himself and Nathaniel over the top rope with a flying clothesline. Static and Michael are standing in the ring, and Michael ducks a punch from Static. Michael then brings Scotty over with a briding German suplex.......1.........2.......kickout! Michael pulls Static up, and picks him up, and then sits him down on the top turnbuckle. Michael punches Scotty in the jaw before heading up top himself. Static punches Michael in the stomach twice, and shoves him down to the mat. Scotty then stands up on the top turnbuckle, turns around, and nails a Tumbleweed! Scotty goes for the pin.........1..........2.......Nathaniel comes down from up top with a 450 Splash to break it up! Nathaniel goes for the pin...........1..........2.......Johnny Jackson breaks THAT up with a top-rope cannonball senton! COACH: This is aerial assault at its finest! Jackson pulls Nathaniel up, and lifts him onto his shoulder. Johnny then twists Nathaniel in mid-air, and drops him with a Diamond Cutter! Johnny goes for the cover.......1...............2.............Michael breaks it up! Michael pulls Johnny up...and drops him on his skull with The Awakening! Jackson rolls onto the apron as Michael gets Nathaniel back to his senses. Both Minions then walk over to Scotty Static, and stomp him a few times. Nathaniel then picks Scotty up off of the mat, and puts him on his shoulders in an electric chair as Michael heads up top. Static then starts punching Nathaniel in the head, and is able to roll out of it victory roll-style, flinging Nathaniel into the corner, and crotching Michael on the top rope. Scotty then climbs up top, and brings Michael down with a top rope hurricanrana, landing on his feet to grab Nathaniel to bring him over with a German suplex, and collapse due to exhaustion! MC: All four men are down! The referee starts his count...................1........................2........................3..... .................4.....................5.......the Minions start to rise...........6...........the GPX are on one knee.......7.........8......the Minions are up, and the GPX soon follow. Both Minions throw punches, but they get blocked, and the GPX respond with punches of their own. The Minions try again, but get blocked and punched again. Static and Jackson then nail three stereo jabs in a row, and try to whip the Minions off to the ropes. The Minions reverse, and the GPX come back off of the ropes, going for stereo leapfrogs. They get caught in mid-air, but Scotty and Johnny latch onto each other, and bring Nathaniel and Michael over with a double Code Red! 1...............2...........kickouts! COACH: I've NEVER seen that! MC: Devastation by innovation! Static and Jackson pull the Minions to their feet. Static lifts Nathaniel up, as Jackson picks up Michael; both men going for Asphalt Slams/Alabamaslams. Static brings Nathaniel over, but Nathaniel reverses into a tremendous inverted piledriver in mid-air! Static rolls to the outside for safety. Michael then punches Jackson in the back repeated times, causing him to bend over and accidentally put himself in position for a move from Michael. Michael then lifts Jackson up, and brings him over for a front-face flapjack from powerbomb-position, as Nathaniel pops up to bring Johnny down with a Flatliner at the same time! CABOOSE: It's all over for the teen idols now! Both Minions then cross themselves to signal for the Holy Divide. Nathaniel goes up top as Michael puts Jackson in position for the piledriver portion. They take far too long setting up the move, as Jackson starts to show signs of life. Nathaniel is still balancing himself on the top rope when Johnny suddenly charges forward, carrying Michael with him, into the corner! The impact flips Nathaniel off the top rope, and through the timekeeper's table! No disqualification is called due to it being accidental. Jackson backs up to the center of the ring as Michael stumbles forward. Johnny kicks him in the mid-section, and hooks him for the Beat Drop. He lifts him, but Michael slips out the back end. He turns around...and runs right into a Shooting Star Lariat from Scotty Static! Both GPX members go for the cover...........1............2............3! BUFFER: Your winners of the contest...the Global Party Exchange! MC: They did it again! The GPX have now closed the gap at 3-2! CABOOSE: If it weren't for that table being there, the Minions SO would have won! (Out of nowhere, Northstar appears on the video screen, coming from his office.) NORTHSTAR: Congratulations on your second victory in the series, Scotty, Johnny. I'm glad to see that this series I set up between you four men is starting to pick up steam. However, I have a problem. You see, there was some foul play involved in this match tonight, as one of your opponents, Nathaniel, suffered an unfortunate consequence and went through a table. In this contest, there was not a single rule that said that usage of outside objects was legal. But, the referee officiating this match had his hands tied, since the table use was accidental, and it would therefore be unfair to disqualify you two. But, to ensure that we must not worry about that next time, the match next week, and the sixth in the series, will be....a TABLES MATCH! Good day! (the screen cuts back to an arena shot) MC: Did you hear that? COACH: These four men, their aerial innovation, and TABLES?!?! That's going to be great! CABOOSE: I knew there was a reason I liked Northstar. MC: Something's gonna go down next week! More hD~! in 3! (Go to break)

(Return from break) MC: Now it's time....wait, something's happening in the back! Let's cut to it! (Cut to the backstage area, where we see Brock Auustin attacking St. Andrew, with a forklift parked in front of St. Andrew's Cathedral to keep Gibraltar parked inside. Rick Heyross is screaming his lungs out at Andrew.) HEYROSS: YOU SON OF A BITCH! How dare you screw me or my monster over?!?! (Gibraltar pulls Andrew off of the ground, and lifts him over his head while choking him with both hands) I will not REST until you either die or sign that contract to make Brock versus Gibraltar a reality! ANDREW: NEVER! HEYROSS: You hear that, Brock? Andrew wants to be murdered in front of an audience? Okay, we can do that! (Brock and Heyross walk forward, heading to the ring, as Brock is holding Andrew over his head in a throttle) COACH: WHAT? They're heading out here? Brock and Heyross come storming down the ramp. When they get to the ring, Brock tosses Andrew into the ring. Andrew slowly tries to crawl away as Brock and Rick enter the ring. Auustin is able to grab Andrew by the ankle, and drags him to the middle of the ring. Brock then pulls Andrew up to his feet, and starts clubbering him with stiff, hammer forearms to the side of Andrew's head. (We cut backstage, where Minion Nathaniel, who wasn't in the Cathedral at the time, is behind the wheel of the forklift, and moves it so that Gibraltar can exit the locker room. Gibraltar heads to the ring.) Brock lifts Andrew onto his shoulders, getting ready for the F-Stunner-5. Heyross is handed a mic by a ring crew member. HEYROSS: Now, you have two choices: either you sign the contract, which IS in my back pocket, or Brock here will drop you on your skull with the F-Stunner-5 until you sign for the match! Which one will it be? (Just then, Gibraltar comes storming down the ramp.) HEYROSS: Listen, big man! If you take one more step, your spiritual leader dies! (Gibraltar paces back-and-forth, not knowing whether to follow his instinct or stay in place) Now, Andrew....yes, or no? ANDREW: NO!! HEYROSS: You sure? I mean, it won't just be one F-Stunner-5. It won't even be two F-Stunner-5's. It'll be as many F-Stunner-5's as it takes before you literally die inside of this ring! And as your decaying corpse lies in the middle of the ring, I'm going to piss all over whatever it is you stood for in life! ANDREW: YOU BASTAR.... HEYROSS: I'm guessing we're going to get a legalized murder right here tonight! Brock, drop him! Auustin does the spin for the F-Stunner-5, but Andrew suddenly lets out a loud scream. Heyross orders Brock to stall for a second. HEYROSS: Change of thought, Andrew? ANDREW: You got it! Whatever you want! Just let me down! (Heyross gives the okay; Brock gently lets Andrew onto his feet.) HEYROSS: Now sign this! (Heyross pulls a contract out of Andrew's contract, and Andrew signs it) One more thing, Andrew...(Brock charges forward and nearly knocks Andrew's head off with a KILLER clothesline) Thanks, jackass! (Heyross and Brock bail as Gibraltar charges into the ring) COACH: It's now official: at Anglemania III, you will see the "Battle of the Giants", as Gibraltar will square off one-on-one with Brock Auustin! CABOOSE: That will, both literally and physically, be huge! MC: While we get things settled down here in the building, let's go to a commercial break. More hD~! in three! (Go to break) (Return from break) Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and is for the OAOAST 24/7 CHAMPIONSHIP~! ::The crowd pops for the announcement, but the cheers quickly fade to boos as "The Game" by Disturbed hits the PA system. The arena lights dim and a bright red spotlight shines upon the entrance:: Tell me exactly what am I supposed to do? Now that I have allowed you TO BEAT ME Do you think that we could play another game? Maybe I could win this time! I kinda like the misery you put me through Darling you can trust me COMPLETELY If you even try to look the other way I think that I could KILL this time… BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOBOOBOOMMM~! The arena is rocked by a series of pyro blasts, and the crowd wildly as Axel steps out from the locker room and walks out to the edge of the stage. He has a sinister smile on his face as he raises his arms in a crucifix pose, soaking up the reaction from the crowd. Cole: There he is, fans! The man who this past Sunday at Zero Hour outlasted The Firm in an 8-man elimination tag match! The soul survivor for Team Torture! It's Ax--OH!!!!!! Coach: WHAT THE HELL??!!? ::Suddenly, a dark figure rushes out from the locker room area and nails Axel in the back of the head with a running forearm, sending him rolling halfway down the ramp. The music stops abruptly, the arena lights return to normal, and the crowd pops mildly when they get a glimpse at Axel's attacker!:: Cole: THAT'S CHRIS BRYTE! Caboose: WHAT?! ::A group of officials rush out from the locker room and attempt to restrain Bryte, but he manages to shake them loose. On the ramp, Axel quickly scrambles to his feet, but before he can figure out what hit him, Bryte charges at him, catching him with a clubbing forearm that sends the Dark One rolling further down the ramp. Bryte rushes right in on Axel, managing to catch him with three hard stomps to the side of the head before the officials rush him again and manage to pull him off of Axel:: Cole: Ladies and gentlemen...Chris Bryte has just exploded on Axel! Caboose: I...I can't...what the hell is this about, Cole?! Cole: Well...a couple of weeks ago, Axel hit Tina, Chris Bryte's girlfriend in the head with a chair! He gave her a concussion, and last week, Chris Bryte promised to make Axel pay! He vowed revenge, and it looks like he's getting it right here! Caboose: Look out, Axel! He broke free again! ::Indeed, Bryte has again managed to free himself from the officials' grasp and charges at Axel once more, this time staggering him with a right hand to the head. A second one sends Axel back into the guardrail, at which point Bryte grabs Axel's left arm goes for an Irish whip. Axel reverses the momentum, however, sending the rookie's hip and back careening into the steel stairs. The crowd boos in the background as Bryte falls into a seated position. Axel takes a moment to gather himself, then, after sprints towards Bryte, ramming his right knee into the bridge of his nose, smashing the youngster's head up against the the stairs. The crowd collectively cringes as Bryte falls forward, holding the back of his head:: Caboose: Did Chris Bryte just make the biggest mistake of his career or what?! Cole: Axel has turned this thing around...Bryte is hurt out here...we're scheduled to have a 24/7 match right here...oh c'mon! Wait a second... ::The crowd clamors as Axel grabs the top part of the stairs and lifts it high above his head. He then turns and walks over to the fallen Chris Bryte, who's trying to get his wits about him on the floor:: Cole: Oh no, he wouldn't! Axel...c'mon! Caboose: He brought this on himself, Cole! Remember that! Cole: But he's just a rookie! C'mon...Axel, don't... **CLANG** Cole: NO!!!!!!!! MY GOD, NO!!! ::Axel drops the steel stairs right on the back of Bryte's head, drawing a "Holy shit" chant from the crowd. Axel smiles sinisterly as officials rush to Bryte's aid. He's not moving a muscle, and appears to be bleeding from the back of the head. As officials check on the unconscious wrestler, Axel turns towards some nearby fans and does his crucifix pose, drawing boos throughout the arena:: Cole: I can't believe that Axel did that! He may have just crushed this rookie's skull! Caboose: And whose fault is that?! Who told Chris Bryte to come out here and pick a fight with Axel?! Cole: The man attacked his girlfriend, Caboose! Coach: Yeah, 'Boose. You and I both know that if Axel had popped your blow-up doll, you'd be right down there doing the same thing! Caboose: You keep it up and Bryte won't be the only one needing help out here! ::Axel continues to taunt the crowd as officials and EMT's look after Bryte. By now, Tina has made her way out to ringside, and she appears to be distraught. She shoves her way through the host of officials and kneels down next to Bryte, clutching his head in her hands. Suddenly, Axel turns back Bryte, and wide grin comes across his face.:: Coach: What the hell is he thinking? Cole: Axel...he's headed back over towards Bryte. What is he...oh no! C'MON! NO, DAMN IT! NO! ::Axel shoves his way through the officials, grabs a handful of Tina's hair and yanks her back to a standing position. The crowd boos wildly as Axel drags her over to the ring apron and rolls her into the ring. Axel follows her in and springs to his feet, and charges at Tina, catching her in the side of the head with a mafia kick that sends her stumbling into the ropes. Tina rebounds, however, coming back at Axel with two hard forearms to the jaw. Axel quickly halts her offense with a knee to the gut, doubling her over. He then grabs her by the head and pulls her into a standing headscissors, causing the crowd to clamor:: Cole: What in the hell is he planning to do to her? Caboose: I dunno, but I've got a feeling that the lovebirds here are gonna be sharing a hospital room very soon. ::Axel wraps his arms around her waist and lifts Tina up into powerbomb position, holding her up over his shoulder to to make her think about it. Tina kicks her legs violently, desperately attempting to free herself from Axel's grasp, but its no use, as Axel begins walking her over towards the ropes... and... Cole: Don't do this, Axel! Don-- **BOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!** The arena is rocked by another HUGE pyro blast, and "State Prop (You know us)" hits the PA system. The blast startled Axel, causing him to drop Tina, and he quickly turns towards the entrance, where Panther appears with the 24/7 Title belt through a thick cloud of smoke. He walks towards the edge of the stage, lays down the 24/7 belt in front of him, and motions for Axel to "bring it!" Axel grins, shoves Tina aside then slides out to the arena floor. Coach: What's Axel doing here? Cole: I dunno. Panther telling him to bring it, but Axel's headed over to the timekeeper's table...oh boy. Axel shoves the timekeeper aside, snatches his chair and starts around the ring to meet Panther. Meanwhile, Tina slips back out to the floor to attend to Chris Bryte. Panther's still up on the stage waiting for Axel. Caboose: Panther told Axel to bring it, but I don't think that was the "it" he had in mind. Cole: Axel with that chair, but Panther's not backing down though. When Axel reaches the base of the ramp, Panther flips him off, then sprints down the ramp to meet him. Axel then starts up the ramp to cut him off, and just before the two meet at the halfway point, Axel rears back with the chair and takes a big swing... ...BUT PANTHER DUCKS UNDER THE SHOT! Axel turns to face Panther, but is met with a barrage of right hands by the 24/7 Champ, knocking the chair from Axel's hands and sending the crowd into a frenzy. Panther's music suddenly stops, and the referee calls for the bell. **DING DING DING** Cole: There's the bell, fans! This match is finally underway! Panther and Axel! And look at Panther go to work! Right hands...Panther firing off those rights to the side of Axel's head--OH NO!!! No sooner than Cole spoke, Axel caught Panther with a thumb to the eyes, halting his offense. He then grabs a hold of Panther's hair charges forward, yanking Panther down, causing him to hit the back of his head on the steel ramp. The crowd boos once more as Panther begins rolling around on the mat, clutching the back of his head. Axel gives his a quick stomp for good measure, then starts back down the ramp, where Tina and the officials are still attending to Chris Bryte. The head official approaches Axel, attempting to keep him away from Bryte, but Axel grabs the official by his shirt and flings him hard to the floor. Cole: HEY! WAIT A MINUTE, DAMN IT! HE JUST STRUCK AN OFFICIAL! AND HE STRIKES ANOTHER! AND ANOTHER!!! AND ANOTHER! He throws a right hand in Tina's direction, backing her up a step, then reaches down and grabs the steel stairs once again. Cole: Oh no! We just saw this with Chris Bryte...don't tell me he's gonna do the same thing to Panther! That's what he's thinking. He lifts the stairs then then turns around to face Panther... ...BUT PANTHER DROPKICKS THE STAIRS BACK INTO HIS FACE, causing him to fall with the stairs landing on his head. The crowd pops as Panther does a double stomp onto the stairs, smushing Axel underneath them. He does it a second time, then plays to the crowd as Axel shoves the stairs off of his head. As Axel tries to get his wits about him, Panther walks back up the ramp and retrieves the chair that Axel stole from the timekeeper. The crowd begins to clamor as Panther turns towards Axel with a sinister smile. Coach: Oh boy! Cole: Panther's got that chair! He motions for Axel to get back to his feet, and he does so, slowly. Panther starts towards Axel with the chair, and when he reaches a vertical base... **WHAM** Cole: DEAR GOD!!!!! Panther damn near caves his skull in with a BRUTAL chairshot. Axel's body falls to the floor, and Panther turns his back to him, extending his arms in a crucifix pose, drawing a loud pop from the crowd. Caboose: Oh, that's just uncalled for! Cole: Panther damn near took Axel's head off with that chair... Coach: And it looks like Axel's bleeding! Indeed. Axel groggily sits up and feels his forehead, noticing a small trickle of blood when he pulls back his hand. Before Axel can really digest the situation, Panther reaches down, grabs a handful of his hair and yanks him back to his feet. Panther drives his right knee into the forehead of Axel, then does the same with the left, causing he Dark One to stagger back a bit. He then grabs a hold of Axel's left arm and Irish whips him into the guardrail, sending him in with such force that Axel flips over, hitting the small of his back off the steel before falling facefirst onto the thin mats on the floor. Panther nods his head in approval, and as officials FINALLY begin carrying Chris Bryte back to the locker room, Panther moves in on Axel, grabbing him by the hair once more and yanking him back to his feet. In the front row, there's a fairly attractive hispanic girl (approximately 16 or 17 years old) holding up a sign that reads "PANTHER'S FUTURE WIFE". Upon noticing the sign, Panther smiles and winks at her, causing her to scream in excitement. This also gives Axel the opportunity to fire off a HARD elbow to the gut of the 24/7 Champ. A second one doubles Panther over, at which point Axel grabs him by the hair and tosses him headfirst into guardrail. Panther holds his head momentarily, then turns back to face Axel, who charges in with an attempted clothesline... ...BUT PANTHER DUCKS IT, slipping behind the Dark One, hooking him up and bringing him back with a Side Russian Leg Sweep INTO THE RINGPOST!!!!!!!!!! Coach: DAAYYUM!!!!! Axel's head hits the post with a sickening thud, and he staggers forward, clutching the back of his head as Panther eyes him intently, measuring him for his next move. Dazed, Axel turns back to Panther and lets loose a wild right hand, which Panther ducks it, catching the challenger in T-Bone position. Panther nods to the fans (causing them to pop once again), turns Axel around, and after making him think about it for a moment, T-Bones Axel over the guardrail, dropping him on the back of his head in the front row. Panther raises his right fist into the air, causing the crowd to erupt with cheers, and chants of "PAN-THER, PAN-THER" echo throughout the arena. Cole: It's been virtually all Panther thus far in this one. Caboose: Oh yeah. Sure...after breaking every rule in the book. After Chris Bryte and Tina attacked Axel before the bell... Cole: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Caboose: Please, Cole. I bet Panther sent those two out here to try and soften Axel up before the match, but it won't work! I guarantee you, Michael, by the end of this match, we're gonna have a brand new 24/7 Champion. As Axel tries to gather himself in the front row, Panther walks over to the base of the ramp and grabs the steel stairs that Axel used earlier on. Cole: Uh oh! Caboose: See what I mean?! This damn Panther is breaking every rule in the book. Cole: He's about to break something, but I don't think it's a rule. Panther's got those stairs...Axel's out of it in the front row! Axel, still dazed, pulls himself back to his feet. Suddenly, Panther darts in his direction, carrying the heavy stairs over his shoulder. He LAUNCHES the stairs right at Axel's head...BUT ALAS... Cole: DAMN IT!!!!!!!! Axel grabs that female Panther fan sitting in the front row and pulls her into the way. The stairs catch her right in the temple, KOing her on impact. Panther's jaw drops in shock, and the crowd is FUCKING LIVID!!!!!!!! Cole: That son of a bitch!!! That no good son of a bitch!!! Can you believe what he's done?! Caboose: No I can't! I can't believe that Panther would attack that young girl like that! Cole: WHAT?! Caboose: You saw it, Cole! Panther hit that poor girl in the head with the steel stairs!!! Cole: AXEL PULLED HER INTO THE WAY!!!! Caboose: I didn't see that! Cole: What the hell do you mean you didn't see it?! It was as plain as day! That low down, no good...and look at him! He's laughing! Axel is laughing! Indeed. As nearby event staff attend to the fallen girl, Axel stands above her body laughing at Panther. The camera does a close up on Panther's face, where a look of fury builds up in his eyes. He once again darts in Axel's direction, leaping over the guardrail AND the event staff, taking Axel to the concrete floor with a plancha. Panther mounts Axel on the floor, and rains down a series of right hands to his bloody forehead. Panther then brings Axel back to his feet, where he catches him with another knee to the head. Axel fires off a right hand to the side of the head, which Panther responds to with a right of his own. Axel hits Panther with another right, but Panther responds again. Axel! Panther! Axel! Panther! We've got a slugfest in the crowd, which Panther puts an end to that with a boot to the midsection. Panther then walks over to a nearby fan and grabs a bottle of beer, then turns back towards Axel with a look of fury on his face. He then rears back, preparing to strike Axel with the bottle... ...but Axel nails Panther with a hard uppercut to the groin. Panther drops the bottle and doubles over in pain, allowing Axel to catch him in a front face lock, and drive him to the concrete with an EVENFLOW DDT!!!!!!! Coach: Did you hear Panther's head smack off that concrete?! Cole: I heard it alright. Panther is down...Axel...he just went back down. Apparently, he's still feeling the effects of Panther's onslaught from earlier on. We've got a fan down... Caboose: Thanks to that no good Panther. I swear, he's nothing but a worthless wifebeater! Cole: Stop it! Fans, we've gotta take a break! Don't touch that dial... I SAID DON'T TOUCH IT, DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!! Our tapes are rolling...if anything happens during the break, we'll bring it to you on the other side. ***COMMERCIAL*** When the break ends, we see Axel seated in a corner of the ring, with both feet pressed up against the ringpost. He's using a leather belt to choke Panther, who's on the outside up against the ringpost, desperately attempting to escape as Axel pulls back on the belt as much as he can. Cole: Fans, welcome back to hD~! This 24/7 Title match continues, and as you can see, the tide has turned drastically. Axel is in control, and let's show you how it happened, folks! This occured during the break... ***DURING THE BREAK*** Cole: Fans, this was the scene. Panther was down on the outside. Trying to get back to his feet, and there you see Axel with that chair...and... BOOOM! Cole: Axel bent that chair over the head of Panther. One of the damndest shots I've ever seen, and there you see the results! Panther's busted wide open thanks to that brutal shot from Axel! The HeldDOWN~! logo scrolls across the screen as we cut back to LIVE ACTION, where we see Panther down on one knee on the arena floor. He's gasping for air as Axel stands on the ring apron above him, wrapping the leather belt around his fist, with the buckle right over his knuckle. Cole: And fans, we're back to live action. Panther's trying to get some air back into those lungs, but watch Axel! Axel's got that belt around his fist...what's he gonna do? As Panther pushes himself back to his feet, Axel rears back and leaps off the apron, catching Panther right in the forehead with the buckle, sending him back down to his knees, clutching at the wound on his forehead. Panther shakes his head to try and clear the cobwebs, but Axel doesn't give him any room to breathe. He kicks Panther hard in the gut, causing him to roll over into a seated position. Then, Axel gets behind Panther, bends his head backwards, and begins pounding the 24/7 Champ with hard right hands, with the metal belt buckle bouncing off of Panther's head with each shot. He then uses that pointy part on the buckle (I have no clue what it's called, but you know what I'm talking about, lol) to dig into Panther's open wound, causing Panther to scream in pain. Panther quickly away from Axel, scrambling over towards the ring apron in an effort to create some distance between he and the challenger. Axel's right back on him, though, with a boot to the small of the back, and a HARD belt shot to Panther's back, which again causes him to scream in pain. Axel then grabs the back of Panther's jersey and the waistband of his shorts and rolls him into the ring. Axel follows him in, and continues his assault on Panther. Cole: And fans, this thing has just made it into the ring...for what I believe is the very first time. Caboose: And I've got a feeling it won't be in there long. Watch Axel... **CRACK** Axel whips Panther across the back with the belt, causing Panther to cringe in pain. **CRACK** Axel whips him again. Panther again scrambles back to his feet and stumbles into the ropes. With Panther draped across the top rope, Axel moves in on him with the belt. **CRACK** **CRACK** **CRACK** Three HARD shots across the back of Panther. Axel then wraps the belt around Panther's throat, choking him out once again. Panther flails his hands wildly, trying to escape by any means, but before Panther can find an escape, Axel drags him to the ropes and tosses him over the top, holding onto the ends of the belt to hang him! Coach: Axel's taking Panther apart with that belt! Caboose: Are you surprised by this?! What? Did you think Panther would just come in here and have his way with Axel? Coach: Well...no. Caboose: Of course not! Axel's one of the most dangerous men here in the OAOAST. He was the sole survivor this past sunday, and in a few moments...I can feel it! I've got that gut feeling that he's gonna be the brand new 24/7 Champ! Cole: That may be the case. Panther is fading...ever so slowly. Indeed. Panther's arms and legs, which once flailed rapidly, are now moving at a snail's pace. Fans begin cheering and stomping in unison, hoping to rally Panther back into it, but it doesn't work, as Panther's body goes completly limp. At this point, the referee climbs out onto the apron and gets up in Panther's face, trying to see if he can continue, as Axel continues to pull on that belt. Cole: Axel's pulling on that belt so hard, he may break Panther's neck here. Caboose: I think he's out, guys. The referee raises Panther's arm once... AND IT DROPS!!!!!!!! He raises it a second time... AND IT STAYS UP!!!!!!! The crowd pops in the background. Coach: I wasn't expecting that. Cole: Me either. Panther's trying to come alive. Trying to combat this... Panther hooks the top rope with his hands, using them to try and get himself back onto the apron. Once he's able to get his feet under him, he stand up on the apron, and begins firing off reverse elbows to the side of Axel's head, but he doesn't release his grip. Desperate to escape, Panther grabs the belt with both hands and drops from the apron, using his momentum to snap Axel throat first across the top rope. The crowd pops as Axel falls backwards, landing parallel to the ring ropes as Panther gasps for air on the arena floor. After a couple of deep breaths, Panther hops back into the apron, and pulls himself into a standing position. With Axel down on the mat, Panther then leans back and propels himself over the top rope with an attempted hilo... BUT AXEL COUNTERS BY GETTING THE KNEES UP!!! Panther clutches his back as he climbs to his knees, then falls face first onto the mat. The crowd boos as Axel sits up, looks at Panther and cracks another smile. Cole: Panther just can't seem to catch a break here. It has been all Axel since we returned from break, and Caboose...if this keeps up, I may have to agree with you. We'll have a new 24/7 Champion. Caboose: Now you're thinking, Cole. Axel then climbs to his feet, grabs Panther by the hair and pulls him back up to one knee. He leans over and gets up in Panther's face, taunting him as the crowd tries to rally behind Panther. He slaps Panther hard across the face not once, but twice, then grabs Panther by the hair and pulls him into a standing headscissors. The crowd begins to cheer as Axel scours the arena, then holds out his arms crucifix style. Caboose: Hey, sounds like these fans are really starting to warm up to Axel. Cole: I don't think--WAIT A MINUTE!!!!!! Coach: THAT'S CHRIS BRYTE!!!!!! CHRIS BRYTE IS BACK!!!!! INDEED HE IS!!!!! He's taped up from the earlier attack, AND he's got STEEL, DAMN IT! He hits the ring just as Axel wraps his arms around Panther's waist, but before he can lift Panther up, Bryte rears back with his chair, and cracks Axel across the back with the chair. Axel drops Panther and turns towards Bryte, holding his lower back in pain. As he and Bryte lock eyes, Bryte sticks out his tounge and razzes Axel (WTF?!) before rearing back and flooring him with another hard chairshot. The crowd explodes, and Bryte jumps up and down, celebrating like he's just won the World Title or something. Caboose: What the hell is this?! Cole: It's called revenge! Chris Bryte has just gotten revenge for Tina! Revenge from that attack from earlier on! Revenge from... Coach: GUNNER~! As Bryte is celerating, Gunner Sharps rushes out from the locker room and slides into the ring. Bryte's playing to the crowd, and doesn't even see him. As soon as he turns around, though, Gunner charges at him and DRILLS him with the MOTHERFUCKING IMPACT SPEAR, turning the poor rookie inside out!!! Bryte convulses on the mat, as chants of "Holy Shit" actually start up. Cole: Tonight just isn't Bryte's night. With Bryte taken care of, Gunner turns his attention to Panther, who's trying to pull himself back up in a corner. He licks his lips and pats his chest, and when Panther turns around, Gunner charges in for another attempted spear... BUT PANTHER SIDESTEPS HIM, and Gunner gets nothing but buckle! Stunned, Gunner staggers backwards, allowing Panther to catch him from behind with a rear waistlock, and SOMEHOW take the big man up and over with a release German Suplex, dumping him on the back of his head. The crowd pops big in the background, and chants of "PAN-THER, PAN-THER" echo throughout the arena. Caboose: How the hell did he...how... Cole: Panther...using every ounce of strength in his being to take Gunner Sharps over with that German!!! Gunner is down...Bryte is down, Axel is down... But so is Panther. The fans cheer and clap in unison, again trying to rally Panther back into the match. Panther looks up and spies Axel's fallen body, and with his last bit of energy, he begins to pull himself hand over hand to reach his foe. Hand over hand... ...he's almost there... ...almost... HE'S THERE!!!!!!! Panther drapes an arm across Axel's chest... 1.... 2... NO SIR OR MADAM!!!!!!!!!!!! AXEL RAISES THE SHOULDER AFTER A COUNT OF TWOOOOOOOOO~! Coach: How close was that?! Caboose: Not close enough!! Even with the help of his cronies, Panther still doesn't have what it takes to defeat Axel! Panther looks frustrated as he pulls himself up to his knees. Axel's trying to pull himself to his knees as well. Before he can, though, Panther grabs him by the hair, rears back and catches him with a right hand, sending Axel leaning backwards. Axel comes right back with a right hand of his own, sending Panther backwards! Cole: These men are fighting from their knees! How bad do these two want it?! Panther with another right...Axel comes right back. Panther! Axel! Panther again! Axel again!!! Panther rears back for another right hand, but before he can connect...a recovered GUNNER SHARPS comes up from behind and locks him in a rear naked choke. Still somewhat dazed, Axel looks on with a smile on his face, and the crowd boos wildly in the background. Cole: Ok, damn it! I know this is no DQ, but can we get him outta here?! Caboose: Oh wait a minute, Cole! It's all good when Panther's friends come out to help him, but as soon as Axel's friends come to his aid, you've got a problem with it? Cole: That's right. Caboose:... Panther desperately tries to escape Gunner's grasp, but Gunner's got the choke locked on tight. Suddenly, Chris Bryte begins to pull himself back to his feet, and as the referee implores Gunner to release the hold, Bryte loads up his boot, charges in and kicks Sharps HARD in the groin, drawing another pop from the crowd. Gunner clutches the injured area, and falls over in pain as Bryte staggers back into the ropes. Panther tries to shake off the effects of Gunner's attack, but Axel's right on him, measuring him with hard right hands to the forehead. He pulls Panther back into a standing position, and tries to whip Panther into the ropes. Panther counters the whip, however, going under and lifting Axel up into a fireman's position. Coach: This could be the Deep End coming up-- NO!!!!!! Axel slips off Panther's shoulders and lands behind him. He then shoves Panther into the ropes, and when Panther comes off, Axel tries a leapfrog... **CRACK** Cole: OH!!! WHAT THE HELL?!??! Just as Panther is coming under Axel's leapfrog, Chris Bryte, who was positioned behind Axel with a chair, follows through with a chairshot which was apparently meant for Axel, but he instead ends up catches Panther right in the head. Panther's body falls limp to the canvas and Bryte's eyes open wide with fear. Capitalizing on the situation, Axel grabs Bryte, lifts him into reverse DVD position, then brings him around with a dreaded... Cole: AXEL SLAM~! Bryte's body bounces off the mat, and Axel falls into a cover on Panther. He hooks the leg... Cole: NO!!! NOT THIS WAY... 1... 2... 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! **DING DING DING** **Cue "The Game" Announcer: Here is your winner...and NEW OAOAST 24/7 Champion....AAAAAAAAAXEEEEEEELLLL!!!!!!! Caboose: HAHA!!! What did I tell you?! What did I tell you?! Axel is the new Champion! Cole: I can't believe it!!! Chris Bryte...that errant chairshot from Bryte caught Panther right in the head...and damn it, we've got a new Champion!!! Caboose: I love it!!! I love it! This is great! Break out the champagne! It's celebration time! The official presents Axel with the 24/7 title belt and he raises it high above his head, drawing boos from the crowd. He then helps Gunner back to his feet, and the two slide out to the arena floor, with Axel holding the title high in his right hand as the two head up the ramp and back to the locker room. Once the two reach the stage, Axel stops at the top of the ramp, and, with the belt in his right hand, Axel does the crucifix pose once again. Dozens of camera flashes go off inside the arena, then he and Gunner turn and walk back to the locker room. (GO to break)

(Return from break) BOOM!BOOM!BOOOOMBOOMBOOOMBOOOMMMMMMMM!!!!! Cue: “The Game” by Disturbed The pyro nearly blows a hole in the roof as The Dark One, Axel appears at the entrance way, alone. He stops at the top of the ramp and does the crucifix pose to a chorus of boos, before walking down and getting on the apron, and steeping into the ring. COLE Well, here he is, Axel, fresh from a huge victory in that eight-man elimination match. Where’s Gunner? CABOOSE Axel told me today that he has quite a bit on his mind tonight, and he is going to address a certain individual – alone. COLE Gee, I wonder who that might be? Axel grabs the microphone and walks into the centre of the ring, all the while the fans booing him heavily. AXEL Welcome to my world. The crowd boos even louder, tired of his opening phrase. COLE He sure doesn’t have many friends tonight, does he? CABOOSE These people don’t appreciate him for the great man that he is. He doesn’t let there boos get to him Michael. AXEL Last night, I did what I had to do, to prove a point to somebody. I guaranteed victory last week on HeldDown, and what did I do? I won. I beat Knight, I beat Panther, I beat K Money, I beat AJ Flaire, the damn X Champion. I beat them all one more time, to prove a point. CABOOSE He’s right guys, he beat The Firm. COACH He never pinned PK or Panther though. CABOOSE He didn’t have to dumbass; he had a hand in their eliminations though. AXEL Last week, I promised a certain individual that I would beat her friends senseless, and I did. I had four guys to beat, and that individual had one guy. But you couldn’t even get that right, could you Crystal? All this crap about how good you are in the squared circle, how you are the best female wrestler alive today, and how you could, one day, be the OAOAST Champion. That’s all it is Crystal, CRAP. When I met you, you were a struggling independent worker with just a year of experience. I took you under my wing, I taught you how to succeed. I made you who you are today. The crowd continues booing, and they begin a loud ‘ASS-HOLE’ chant. Axel pauses, and smiles. CABOOSE That’s right guys, Axel made Crystal who she is. She owes it to him to be by his side. AXEL That’s right people, chant that all you want. You are living a lie. You are just sheep, following whoever the group follows. One person cheers Zack, you all cheer Zack. One person cheers Crystal, so you all do. I could care less what you think. You didn’t make me, and you didn’t make Crystal. Hard work, and being the best made me who I am, so I owe you all NOTHING. The ‘ASS-HOLE’ chant grows louder, to the point where Axel has to stop speaking again, because he can hardly be heard over the capacity crowd chanting the obscenity. AXEL So that’s why, Crystal, you have to join me again. Face it, you NEED me. You need me to win. You need me to go places. Without me, you are nothing. So Crystal, I’m calling you out. One last chance Crystal, one last chance to accept my invitation. If you don’t, well, it’s your funeral. As I have said before, I’ve beaten you before, and I’ll do it again. You are no ma- Cue: “I’m just a Girl” by No Doubt COLE Crystal has heard enough! Crystal suddenly appears at the entrance way and walks down the ramp with a look of distain on her face. She slides into the ring, and walks straight up to Axel, staring straight into his eyes. Crystal grabs the microphone while Axel is still holding onto it, and pulls it toward her mouth. CRYSTAL Adam. I. Am. Not. Joining. You. Got it? The crowd roars in approval, as Axel pulls the microphone back to him. AXEL Well Crystal, my dear, I only have one question before I do what I have to do. Why won’t you join me? Why won’t you re-join the most powerful force that the OAOAST will ever see? Why will you give up the opportunity of a lifetime? Are you jealous of me? CRYSTAL Adam, re-joining you would be the biggest mistake that I ever make. You corrupted me before, and I know you will try and do it again. I won’t let that happen. I won’t join you, you egotistical, arrogant, evil SON OF A BITCH! COACH Yeah! You tell him! AXEL My, what a mouth we have there. Well Crystal, if that’s the way you want it, prepare for a beating. CRYSTAL Okay, bring it on. You are so sure you can beat me, so put your money where your mouth is, you asshole. Let’s go, right here, right now. The crowd cheers at Crystal’s comments, changing their ‘ASS-HOLE’ chant to one of ‘FUCK HIM UP CRY-STAL, FUCK HIM UP! CLAP CLAP!’ COLE The crowd wants to see it, we want to see it, so let’s get it on! Axel smiles again, an evil, arrogant smile, and steps away from Crystal as she gets ready to fight him. He brings the microphone to his lips once again. AXEL Crystal, Crystal, Crystal. So naïve, so crass with your comments. You disappoint me, and you are starting to anger me. I don’t want to fight you here! These people don’t deserve to see it. Plus, you aren’t ready. How could you possibly be ready for The Dark One? No Crystal, I want to WRESTLE you at the biggest show of all time. Think about it sweet cheeks, AngleMania Three, live, Sunday night, March 28, the night that Axel humiliates Crystal in the centre of the ring. The night that Axel proves that Crystal needs him. CABOOSE Yeah! That’s what I want to see! Crystal steps forward and snatches Axel’s microphone out of his hand. COLE Wow! Crystal isn’t afraid of Axel! CRYSTAL You’re on. You and me at AngleMania Three. I’ll humiliate you. I’ll show the world why I don’t need you Axel, why you are worthless to me. I’ll show the wo- Axel floors Crystal with a hard slap to the side of the face, before she can finish her sentence! CABOOSE Wow! What a shot! Axel stands over Crystal and behind taunting her, picking up the microphone again. AXEL You want to humiliate me? You think I’m worthless? How dare you, you selfish BITCH! I made you! I FUCKING MADE YOU! YOU NEED ME! No matter how much you try and convince yourself otherwise, YOU NEED ME CRYSTAL! I WILL BEAT SOME SENSE INTO YOU AT ANGLEMANIA! You WILL feel the Pain, Taste the Pain, and when its all said and done, the dust has settled and the smoke has cleared and the sun fades into darkness, I WILL MAKE YOU LIKE THE FUCKING PAIN! COACH Somebody help her! Axel grabs Crystal by the hair and then puts her on his shoulders! Axel drops Crystal down head first for a Death Valley Driver! COLE This is a sick display. Axel has gone insane! Out of nowhere, Panther rushes into the ring, and takes Axel down with a clothesline! COACH Panther has come to save Crystal! Panther measures Axel as he gets up, Axel turns around, and Panther tries for the Panther Cutter… but Axel pushes him off, and rolls out of the ring, eliciting loud boos from the crowd! Axel starts to walk back up the ramp, microphone in hand, as Panther attends to Crystal! AXEL You want a piece Panther? You want to try me in this mood? Fine, how about we have ourselves a match tonight? COLE That sounds like a great idea! Panther nods his head, and mouths the words, “Bring it on”. AXEL Alright then, how about you ut your little belt on the line, I feel like some gold today! Panther nods again, and yells that he is going to Kick Axel’s ass. AXEL Sounds good tough guy, I’ll see you in the ring. Cue: “The Game” by Disturbed COACH Well it looks like its going to be Panther versus Axel, Twenty-Four Seven Championship on the line, TONIGHT! COLE What a match that will be! A few scores to settle in this one! We’ll be back! (Break time!)

(Return from break) (We go backstage to a random hallway. Northstar is seen pacing back and forth while Holly-wood is trying to settle him down.) Northstar: Where is that son of a bitch? Where is he? Holly-wood: Who? Northstar: Zack! You saw what he did to Silver Star! Where THE FUCK IS THAT ASS HOLE SCUMBAG! Holly-wood I know what he did! He's my boy friend, I'm pissed to. Calm do.... (An angry Zack appears on screen. He’s looking for a fight. He’s going to get one.) Zack: You want me? You want got me! (Northstar's eyes fill with fire and he charges at Zack with a spear! Zack counters with a guillotine choke and they both go down! Northstar slips out of Zack's weak grip and starts to hammer the always pissed off prep with furious punches! Zack catches Northstar in the mouth with a hard right hand and causing the GM to roll off Zack.) Holly-wood: Security! Alix! Charlie! Wait! Neither of them are here! Help! (Both men have gotten to their feet. Northstar coughs up blood while Zack stares at him with malicious intent. Zack goes a clothesline but Northstar ducks down catches Zack with a body blow! Zack clutches his stomach and Northstar nails him with a fierce shot to the temples! All of a sudden, John Singleton, Buff Bagwell, Josh Duhamel and a "3 Stages of Hell" camera crew appear.) Josh: Are they getting this? Are they getting this? John: They better be. Get a shot of the blood! Now! Close-up! (Northstar grabs the back of Zack's hair and uses it to slam the former champ into the wall! Zack's able to get his hands in front of his face in the nick of time to block the blow. He kicks Northstar in the gut, then sends him down to ground with left cross. Buff runs into to try and help Northstar, but eats a clothesline! Furious Buff gets back up and head butts Zack! The move staggers him but doesn't prevent him from knocking Buff out with a wild haymaker!) John: Josh, help him. Josh: Uh, I have the flu. (Northstar springs to his feet. Zack's facing away from him and Northstar uses the element of surprise to tackle his employee to the ground. Northstar fires more punches to back of Zack's head as his mouth continues to drip sickening amounts of blood. Northstar’s punches open a cut on the back of Zack’s head and his sandy blonde hair starts getting soaked with blood.) Holly-wood: Edward, stop! You're not solving anything. You're not helping Silver Star and Zack's not the reason Alix dumped you. (Northstar stops punching Zack and shoots Holly a hurt stare. She mouths the words, “Stop it.” causing Northstar to stand up and confront her. She tries to back away but Northstar grabs her thin wrist and holds her into place. BAM!! Northstar is struck on the side of the head with a camera by Zack Malibu! The blow only grazed Northstar's head, but it was strong enough to knock him to the floor) Josh (going over to Zack with his fists raised): Hey man, that's... (KAPOW, MOTHERFUCKER! Zack nails Josh in the chest with the camera, knocking him backwards and onto Northstar. Zack stares a whole through John Singleton then launches the camera at his head! John barely ducks in time. Zack lowers his head and walks off as we fade to black.) (Go to break)

(Return from break) You're now tuned into the muh'fuckin greatest *CUE "Dirt off your shoulder"* The lights dim and a silver spotlight in the shape of a snowflake star shines on the entrance stage. The crowd boo's lustily as Acolyte of Northstar Silver emerges from the back. He stands in the middle of the star and grabs his crotch as silver and black confetti shaped like stars rains down from the ceiling and softly lands next to him. You gotta get that dirt off your shoulder You gotta get that dirt off your shoulder You gotta get that dirt off your shoulder Cole: This the last person I ever wanted to see. If I never hear his raspy voice again, it'll be to soon. Silver Star cockily struts down the entrance ramp. He stops to brush some imaginary dirt off his shoulder. On his way to the ring he spots young fan holding up a sign that says "Northstar got OWNED" Silver snatches the sign out of the frightened fan's hand! He tears it to shreds and throws the remaining pieces in the fan's face! Your homey Hov' in position, in the kitchen with soda I just whipped up a watch, tryin to get me a Rover Tryin to stretch out the coca, like a wrestler, yessir Keep the Heckler close, you know them smokers'll test ya But like, fifty-two cards when I'm, I'm through dealin Now fifty-two bars come it, now you feel 'em Now, fifty-two cars roll out, remove ceiling Silver Star rolls into the ring and grabs a microphone. He pauses to let the crowd get the anger out of their systems, then he begins his speech. Silver Star: I'm a gangsta! Fuck all the player haters! And fuck all the players fakers! Wannabe gangsters! I can't imgaine living life pretending to be something you're not. Cole: No comment. Silver Star: I was born in the hood! Raised in the hood! Bleed in the hood and I'll die in the hood! I'm Thug Life 4 Life! Crowd: You suck! You suck! Silver Star: Now as a thug I've got to live and die by the code of a true P-I-M-P! And that code says that when someone messes with one of my boys, I have the duty, the RESPONSIBILITY, to return the favor! That's why I've got to send a shout out to Zack Malibu. Yo boZack, I'm going to throw you a curve and hit you with a fuck you. White bread faggot! You can't touch Northstar's shit! Another fuck you goes to the busters in the crowd who see fit to hang off your nuts! (Silver Star grabs his nuts) Silver Star: Why do I have beef with Zack Malibu? Because Zack Malibu reminds me of a BUTT! In fact his new name is "the BUTT"! The BUTT stinks, the BUTT's ugly and all it's good for is dropping loads of B.S.! BWAHAAA! Zack Malibutt, that's what I'll call you. Caboose: Zack Malibutt? I love it! Silver Star: Shout outs go to the BUTT's nut hugging boyfriend, Michael Cole. Cole the only thing your good for is keeping the BUTT's swamp ass clean! BWAHAA! You two chicken shit faggots, have the sandiest vaginas of any two peeps in the company! Every time my man Northstar wants to do something to better the OAOAST and improve the working conditions for everyone else, you two get your panties in a bunch and drop the dime like the deep throating little bitches that you are! What? What? You heard me! You heard me! (Silver Star leans over the ropes and stares at a fuming Michael Cole) Silver Star: I ain't done! I ain't done! Shout outs to one Alix Spezia, I never trusted the bitch! If she ever bothers to show her face around me, I'll smack the bitch back to the stone age! I'm not playing! Booger bear better stay in her cage, lest she wants a face to face with my pimp hand! What? What? YOU HEARD ME! Motherfuck Cole! Motherfuck Zack! Motherfuck Alix! Yo, here comes my left blow! And it's headed towards Candie. Caboose: Yes! Someone's about to tell it like it is when it comes to Candie. She's gotten a free pass because she's Zack's girl. No more says Mr.Silver Star! Silver Star: Candie had two things coming; a punch to the gut and a dick to the mouth. Last week she got both, one from Ragdoll and Northstar and the other from me! BWAHAAA! What? What? YOU HEARD ME! YOU HEARD ME! The crowd boos heavily, but quickly turn to cheers, as Zack Malibu has stormed down the aisle and slid into the ring. As Silver Star turns to see the reason for the cheers...WHAM~! He's taken off his feet with a spear that folds him in two! Zack stands up, stomping away rapidly and viciously on Silver Star! Caboose: This is wretched! These fans are cheering Malibu, when this was nothing more than a Pearl Harbor attack! Coach: Then I guess that makes my main playa Zack Ben Affleck, right? Cole: Uh...sure, Coach. Coach: Daaaaaaamn, I should ask him how it felt to tap J Lo's ass then! Zack pulls Silver Star to his feet, taking him to the corner and smashing his face into the top turnbuckle, then tossing him through the ropes and out to the floor, where he smacks the concrete hard upon landing! Zack steps through the ropes and hops down as well, taking Silver Star up and then hurling him into the guardrail, sending shockwaves through Silver Star's spine! Silver Star is curled up in a fetal position, as Zack shoves the timekeeper away and scoops up his chair, folding it up. Silver Star just starts to push himself up, when CRACK~!...he's met with a steel chair across his back! Silver Star is now flat out on the floor, and Malibu brings the chair down again...and again...and AGAIN in a scene reminiscent of Austin/Rock at Wrestlemania X7! Caboose: What a pussy! Put the weapon down, preppy! Cole: Look at Silver Star, I don't even think he's moving! After several more whacks, Zack tosses the chair aside, and picks up the limp body of Silver Star, and rolls it into the ring. Malibu stands above him, looking down with feelings of disgust and anger expressed in his face. Zack reaches down and pulls Silver Star up, looking right into his glazed eye...then throws him into a facelock...POP DROP ON SILVER STAR~! Caboose: Uncalled for! The fans go ape, but Zack doesn't play to them. Instead, he calls for Michael Buffer to run the mic to him, which Buffer quickly does. Zack: Northstar...last week, you crossed the line. You went into territory that you're going to wish you never stepped foot in. Surround yourself with all the trained monkeys you want, but you will not destroy this company, and you will not destroy my will. I built this place with my blood and sweat, and I'll be damned if I'm gonna let you spit on it any longer. And you wanna know the funny thing? (Zack chuckles a bit)...This was just a warning shot before the war starts. Zack throws the mic down onto Silver Star, who is comatose in center ring. Malibu exits to no music, but to the cheers of the crowd, as he heads up to the locker room area. Caboose: Defend that! Defend that, Michael Cole. Tell me your hero was right to leave Silver Star lying in the ring a bloody friggin mess. He could have a concussion, his neck could be broken, he may never wrestle again. But I’m sure you’ll tell me how Zack Malibu did the right thing. Cole: I...I....don’t know what to say. I know Silver Star crossed the line with what he said, but a POP drop would’ve taken care of things. I’m at a loss for words. I don’t know what to say. Caboose: Well I do. Zack Malibu always has and always will be an uptight, self important, mark for himself. He can dish it out, but he can’t take it. Let me tell you something, the OAOAST has never been so profitable. We were just breaking even before Northstar took over. And do you know who the first person was to get a raise? It was Zack Malibu. But of course Zack doesn’t care. All Zack cares about is being in the spotlight and having all the attention focused on him. For whatever reason, face licking lap dogs like yourself like the guy, but now you’re seeing the real Zack Malibu and the real Zack Malibu, barely qualifies as human. Coach: Um, this would be good time to take a break! (Go to break)

(Return to Sofa Central) Coach: ROTFLMAO! That wasn’t a moment, that was an entire match. Isn’t it funny that you knock Ragdoll for being a druggie when you showed up to your match at the biggest show of the year hammered out of your mind. Caboose: No it’s not funny at all. But, I’ll tell you what would be funny. If I called you a pitiful, crotch licking, zit faced mental midget with the IQ of the skunk I ran over last week. NOW, that’s funny. See, I feel better already. Cole: Let’s just go to our next segment. "Higher" by Creed plays and out comes Jeremy Red with about six riot squad cops. Red comes to the ring, soaking in the boos. Jeremy Red grabs the microphone. Red: I'm back after a few weeks off and I'll tell you why I was gone. I was trying to protect Mad Matt from my wrath. See Mad Matt, I don't want to cripple you. I just wanted to save your career. I see I failed to do that and you were injured once again last Sunday. Your knee, Matt. It's hurt. Just retire or I will have to beat you into retirement. Don't be stupid, Matt. The fans don't want to see you get injured Matt. Just don't make the match with me at Anglemania III like I know you may be thinking of and just bow out gracefully. Otherwise I will have to kick the shit out of you and retire you at the biggest show of the year. The crowd boos. They start chanting: "We Want Matt." Red:What the hell is wrong you middle class working peasants? Matt has enough money to fall back on from his one year in OAOAST then 20 years in whatever dead end job you are in. You want him to get injured? I still don't know why Matt listens to you common people. You people only see us professional wrestlers as entertainment for your amusements. Sure not all of us take a million risks for your amusement and you hate us for it. The name of the game is WINNING and making as much money as you can. But I suppose you eighth grade dropouts couldn't see that, because you don't know what a good high paying job is. Now, Matt, I bet you are wondering what is up with the riot squad cops. They are here to protect you from me just in case you do something stupid like attack me. That is what these idiots in the crowd want. They want you to beat me to a bloody pulp because I don't conform to there standards. They hope you charge out here and shut me up. Well I am not leaving this ring until I get an answer. Are you going to retire or am I going to have to beat you into retirement at Anglemania III? Red waits in the ring with his arms folded. "Beware, The Shadows of Madness." "Higher" by Creed plays and out comes Mad Matt. Mad Matt is limping slightly, but he looks to be in good shape other then that. Matt grabs the microphone. Matt: Are you finished yet ,Jeremy? The Shadow of Madness sat in his lockeroom and watched you drone on and on and on and yes you almost did end my career tonight. The Shadow of Madness was going to retire because he was afraid that by the time you were finished, he would be hitting old age. Basically you want the Shadow of Madness to retire or a match at Anglemania III. Well, let the Shadow of Madness think for a second....hmmm....The Shadow of Madness guesses that he will kick your ass at Anglemania III. In fact, let's have a preview now. Mad Matt starts limping towards the ring and the riot squad cops stand in front of Mad Matt. Matt decks a cop and a second one swings his nightstick at Matt but Matt uses his reflexes to duck and another cop gets smacked. Matt rams the heads of two cops together and Matt enters the ring. Jeremy Red begs off but the sixth cop is sneaking in the ring with his nightstick raised. Matt turns around and this gives Jeremy Red the chance to clip Mad Matt in the back of the leg. Jeremy Red yanks a pair of handcuffs away from the riot squad cop and he is handcuffing Mad Matt to the top rope. He can't fight back. Jeremy Red has a nightstick and he is going to work on the knee of Mad Matt. Matt is swinging but Jeremy Red grabs a second pair of handcuffs. Red handcuffs the other hand of Matt on the top rope and Red twirls the nightstick. RED SMACKS MAD MATT IN THE FACE WITH THE NIGHTSTICK. Red raises the nightstick above his head but here comes sercurity. They pull a crazed Red but the Riot Squad cops are beating up the members of sercurity. Those aren't cops, those are hired henchmen of Jeremy Red. Red raises the nightstick and drives it down across the kneecap one more time before turning and leaving. More sercurity is in with tools to cut Mad Matt free. (The camera returns its focus to Sofa Central.) Cole: My word! What a heinous attack by that low down scoundrel Jeremy Red. Caboose: Eh, Mad Matt deserved what he got. Red was actually standing up for him against these blood thirsty peons in the stands. But that chuckle head, Mad Mike or whatever had to come out and do his best Jean Calude Van Dam impression. He deserved what he got. And he got we deserved. Coach: Fans, we'll see you next week. Caboose: ?! We should improve your IQ by having your brain amputated. We just started the freaking show. What do you mean we'll see you next week? We'll see you after the break. I hear Silver Star's got some choice words for a few unhappy roster members. (Go to break!) Josh Matthews: What’s poppin, ya’ll? J.Math here to talk to you about Anglemania Three. We all know that show sold out on the first day. But did you know it sold out in Five Minutes! Five Minutes, that’s longer than Coach can last in bed. Guys, if you were one of the unlucky many to miss out on Anglemania tickets, then we’ve got the solution for you! From now until next week, OAOAST.com is offering you the chance to win an all expenses paid trip to Anglemania! Just swing over to the website and answer the hundred question OAOAST triva challenge! Winners get to go Anglemania and have a meet and greet with the HeldDOWN announce team! That’s right you can meet me, Josh Matthews, Master of the Mathillenium and stone cold pimp of the nation! Don’t delay, enter today! (Return from break)

Yeah. Northstar takes on the Macho Man with guest ref Jenna Elfman.