Patty O'Green

Very nice show. More to come later! Alf you can stash your stuff wherever you like

Any one up for it? It'll be on Wed. or Thurs.

Brought to you by American Express Announce team: Tony Schiavone and Jesse "The Body" Ventura Lead corespondent: Tony Brannigan Host: Alix Maria Spezia Theme song: United States champion Alix opened with her usual monolouge. Her major joke was, "In an interview with OAOAST.COM Vinny Valentine admited he liked to light a fire before making love. In a related interview women have said they like to light themselves on fire before they have sex with Vinny Valentine." ZING! Another top joke "Studies have shown those who frequently lose sporting events or competitions are more likely to gain weight than their counterparts. In related news Biff Atlas had to be forklifted from his couch." ***Sophie -Vs- Sugar Belle*** Sophie got the advantage early on with some fine technical work. Sugar Belle, however, was up to the task and assaulted Sophie with well placed strikes. The two were locked into a seemingly endless stalemate of punches and kicks before Sophie scored with a running bulldog. From there Sophie went to work on Sugar Belle’s arm. Once again Belle valiantly fought free of Sophie’s holds and went back to her brawling offense. But she wasn’t skilled enough to put down the French girl, who took home victory with an inverted diamond cutter. Winner: Sophie, via pinfall Eye of the Tiger hit, and the Teal Tiger made his way to the ring, slid into the ring, and posed on the buckles. He then went to mid-ring, and removed his mask, revealing, of course, Alfdogg. Alf announced that he was back, and that he would only walk away on his own terms, which is why he went under the Teal Tiger mask. He congratulated Reject on his World title victory after hunting the belt for so long, but informed Reject that he was now the hunted, and that his hunting license had just been renewed. ***Biff Atlas -VS- Detective Tango Bosley w/CPA*** A not-quite-rematch from HeldDOWN two weeks ago, as Biff Atlas took on Tango Bosley, partner of CPA, who beat Biff in that match. Footage played during V.I.C.E's entrance from earlier in the night, where Bosley and CPA were playing cards. They interrupted the game to make a side-bet, that Bosley couldn't beat Biff in a quicker time than CPA did. Clearly, even a bet couldn't make Bosley take Biff seriously. He beat on the would-be superhero for a while, laughing and chuckling at every time Biff tried to "hulk" up and make out like a shot didn't hurt. But it did. Bosley began to get a little over-confident though and Biff found a way into the match with some clotheslines and FLYING shoulder tackles. Far from being worried about his partner, CPA seemed amused at Bosley's problems, counting his winnings in his head. Biff eventually got ahead of himself and went to the top, which proved a mistake, hit with a Roundhouse Kick in mid-air! A Frontflip Swinging Neckbreaker got a 2 count for Bosley, who looked over to CPA, pointing to his watch. Biff made another attempted fightback. But it was to be for nought, as his punches were shrugged off. Another Roundhouse Kick left Biff prone for Justifiable Homicide (Unprettier) and the 3 count, just within CPA's time. Winner: Detective Tango Bosley, via pinfall After the match, Bosley took great joy in being paid his money by CPA. The bigman took his annoyance out on Biff, planting him with the Dominator. However, Bosley was so amused at this that he decided to split the winnings with CPA anyway, making the whole bet useless, if not for the fun they had beating up poor Biff. A recap aired of the Heavenly Rockers/D*LUX Cage Match at the Halloween Spectacular, which I'm reliably informed wasn't actually on PPV. So whoever ended up getting my money needs to pay it back. NowAnyway, Alix helpfully informed us that The Heavenly Rockers had formed an official complaint through Theodore Moneymaker's legal team, to challenge the result of the match and specifically the DQ of Logan Mann. Logan had also been fined $3,000 for "being a big old meanie", aka improper conduct, plus an extra $5,000 to pay for the damage he caused to OAOAST and arena property, having trashed his locker room. More details on the NEWZWIRE. ***Malaysia Nerdly w/Mr. Dick -VS- Kelly Browne*** Not the way to make a debut, here. The young local female wrestler looked nervous from the moment Malaysia stepped into the ring and rightly so. Malaysia completely towered over her opponent. No match physically and no match, period. Malaysia stared down at Kelly with a smile, then on the bell, unleashed a brutal beating, stopping here and there to really savour the pain she was dishing out. Mister Dick watched all this with a big ol' smile on his face. Young Kelly was basically beaten to a pulp, before Malaysia started to step out of first gear. A Fallaway Slam and a release Butterfly Suplex, the big moves of the beating, before Malaysia clamped her opponent in the Inverted Boston Crab for the quick submission. Winner: Malaysia Nerdly, via submission. Alix and sidekick Maya sat down with Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart of Twilight fame. Alix was mystified how much Robert looked like Tyler Bryant and how much Kristen looked like Molly Nerdly. They on the other hand couldn't get over the fact that Maya wasn't "the girl from Harry Potter". Sensing an opportunity for some hot topless action, Alix brought up Molly's flashing at Halloween Spectacular III. Seeing that Kristen looked just Molly, we should see if her whole body looks just like Molly's. Kristin didn't fall for Alix's bait, forcing the US champion to dig into her pockets for a bribe. What she found was three dollars, a bus pass, and a to kill list with Clippers owner Donald Sterling being front and center. Maya, however, worked her slick charm and got Robert to take off his shirt and cause her and the female audience to go wild. Abdullah Nerdly held a special service at his House of Worship; his guest speakers, the LDC Moneygang. Lorelei DeCenzo thank the spiritual leader for giving them the platform to express their views after they were denied interview time on HeldDOWN~! Colin Maguire Jr. then chewed out the OAOAST Board of Directors and President Josie Barker for rejecting their appeal to overturn the decision at Angleslam, calling himself and Spencer Reiger “the people’s champions” to a chorus of boos. Reiger closed the interview by saying if anybody’s first in line for a tag title shot it’s them, nobody else, vowing he and CMJ will do “whatever it takes” to ensure they’re the ones who ultimately dethrone Team Heyross. “And I do mean, whatever it takes.” ***OAOAST World title: Reject © vs Deuce Deuce Bigelow*** What Deuce did to earn a World title shot, we'll probably never know, but here he is as the challenger in Reject's first World title defense. And he impressed early on, battering Reject with stiff forearm blows and various power moves. He tried one corner charge too many, though, and Reject was able to ground the big man for a few minutes. Reject would miss a move of his own, however, and Deuce mounted a comeback, culminating in a moonsault attempt. Unfortunately, Deuce attempted to land on his feet as Reject rolled out of the way, and appeared to favor his ankle after the landing. Reject pounced immediately, chop-blocking him at the ankle, then hooking in the R-Lock to wrap up a successful title defense. Winner: Reject

Tony, you didn't feel like writing a Bostom accent did you?

Sophie will be in action on this week's Syndicated

History of Helddown THEME SONGS! Tommy Lee-Hold me down Lucy Woodward-Trust Me Ashlee Simpson-LaLa Shop Boys-Party Like a Rockstar Chamillionaire-Ulimate Victory Kevin Rudof-Let it rock Miley Cyrus-Party In the USA I think that's the order.

Oh and I think Mister Dick is available for any Heartland thing Why is that belt called the Heartland title anyway, where did that name come from?

Damn, dudes is showing all out for this one!!

If anyone wants a US title shot with a heel character, be a dear and lemme know.

Yeah, neegas, its ya boy Patty O Funny little segment with Reject and the boys. I never knew the city of Cinci had such bad sports teams. Alf ain't the Reds your favorite baseball team, you'd never see me taking fictional shots at the god Kobe and the wisemen. Landon and Esther have great chemistry together. and lolololol@Blonde, that dude got even Los Diablos callin him gay! The hot newz segment and the CAA match were good pieces of storyline advancements. I think this was the CAA first time wrestling on HD~! so maybe politics was in the works. Man Alf's seg reminded me that I forgot to do write Spencer Reiger (yanks fan) taunting CMJ (Sawks fan) about the WS. Funny segment, tho, but on the real fuck the east coast and fuck all ya'll neegas holdin it down for that bum ass swamp land! What can I say about the mainevent? Fantastic! Really liked the silver boa gag, that shizzzz was funnaaaay!

"You try to play cool Like you just don't care But soon I'll be playin' in your underwear Givin' me all that I desire 'Cos down with me I'm taking you higher" "The Greatest Man That Ever Lived (Warren Miller version)" by Weezer hits and James Blonde swaggers through the entrance, a smug smile on his face. Backed up by Megan Skye, Blonde pulls down the hood on his unique, trendsetting entrance jacket and soaks up the thought of becoming the next United States Champion. Doing his best to ignore the boos and listen to the egotistical choice of music. BUFFER The following contest, set for one fall is for the OAOAST UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP. Introducing first, the challenger. Accompanied to the ring by MEGAN SKYE. Weighing two hundred, eight pounds and hailing from Vancouver, British Columbia... he is "THE TRENDSETTER" and represents CUCARACHA INTERNACIONAL... JJJJJJAAAAAAAMMMMMEEEEESSSSS... BBLLLLLOOOOOOONNDDEEEEEEEEE!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" At ringside, Blonde slips off his poncho/jacket/whatever the hell it is. Underneath he wears a silver boa and silver wristtape to offset his gold wrestling shoes. Trends. Blonde does a Landon-esque spin into the ring and smiles gleefully. Seeking out the hard camera, he dedicates his win to Landon already. COLE James Blonde, finally getting a shot at the US Title, which has been in his sights for some time, dating back to Todd Cortez's title reign. Back then it seemed to be fueled by jealousy. And maybe it still is. But... uhm... I'm not sure what my point was, besides the jealousy part. COACH Get outta here with that talk. James Blonde is jealous of no man. He is his own man! A Trendsetter! The Greatest Man That Ever Lived... except Landon Maddix. COLE I'm pretty sure that's who the music is referencing. I don't think Blonde does anything without it being about Landon. So, safe assumption. "TURN THE LIGHTS ON!" While Beyonce’s dreamy "Sweet Dreams" rolls across the arena, red and pink spotlights rove through the graveyard. Around these illuminations rest a red heart shaped bed with sparkling sheets. On top of this lies Alix Maria Spezia attired in the same outfit as the picture and holding those same frisbees. She sensually massages herself against the sheets, before spinning to a seating position. There she blows a kiss at the screen and super imposed red lips appear on screen. "You can be a sweet dream Or a beautiful nightmare Either way I don't wanna wake up from you (Turn the lights on)" BUFFER And his opponent! From Los Angeles, California! She is your brand-new United States Heavyweight Champion... one half of Chicks Over Dicks and the host of OAOAST's hit weekly show, Syndicated... ladies and gentlemen, the champion, AAALLLLLIIIIXXXXXXX... MMMMAAAARRRRRIIIIIIAAAAAAA... SSSSSPPEEEEEZZZZZZIIIIIAAAAAAA!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Alix skips down the aisle, with the United States Title hanging around her waist. Or hanging off her waist. Either or. She's slim, see. Flinging out frisbees, she's in jovial mood as always. COLE Alix, flying the flag for Chicks Over Dicks in the absence of Krista who went down with that broken arm this past Sunday. A mixed night for Alix, coming away with singles gold but seeing her girlfriend suffer that injury and lose the World Title. COACH She sure seemed cut up about it at the time, didn't she? COLE Well I don't think Alix knew Krista had a broken arm at the time, Coach. She may claim repeatedly to have x-ray vision, but I am somewhat sceptical. Alix jogs up the ring steps and climbs the ropes, shooting the peace sign and the "smoke weed" sign, which kinda cancel each other out in the role-model stakes. Jumping into the ring, Alix removes her silver boa, looking curiously at Blonde. The Trendsetter looks down at his neck and starts to go red. ALIX Oh wow. If you're wearing lacy blue panties too, this is gonna get kinda embarrassing. For many reasons. Pitching a fit, Blonde takes off his silver boa and STOMPS it into the ground. Alix just stares blankly. COLE What was that about? COACH Well, that's proof that silver boas aren't cool anymore. The Trendsetter has shunned it. Therefore, uncool. COLE Why is it uncool all of a sudden? Because James realised he was dressed like a girl? COACH Fashions change in the blink of an eye. You've gotta be on top of it. Like JB. You wouldn't understand. *DINGDINGDING* As the bell rings Blonde tries to put aside his little fit and goes to lock-up. Still not unwrapped yet, Alix quickly takes off her silver boa and wraps it around Blonde's neck as he moves in! Blonde starts thrashing around trying to get the boa off and ends up rolling to the floor, where he pitches another fit. COLE Now, why is Blonde so horrified to be made to wear THE EXACT SAME THING HE WORE TO THE RING!? COACH That was a girl's boa. Big difference. And besides that, did you forget our little "fashion change" talk already? COLE Sadly, no. But I'm trying. Megan calms Blonde down and he re-enters the ring. Trying establish some male dominance, he walks up to Alix and shoves her. A smug look on his face, Blonde watches, as Alix falls to the mat and starts crying. And suddenly, he doesn't feel so smug. The ref gets on Blonde's case for being a jerk and he protests that he didn't do anything, then trying to convince the fans (and himself) that she's faking. Alix, however, stays down. The boos keep coming though and feeling guilty, Blonde is forced to apologise and help Alix back up. And at that point, Alix headbutts him in the gut. "YYYYYAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY!!" Alix skips around clapping her hands, DELIGHTED at her merry little plan. She then hits the ropes, with Blonde doubled up. The Canadian ducks his head low, only to get caught with a sunset flip... 1... 2... No! Fist balled, Blonde runs right into an armdrag. And another one. He's smart enough to avoid the third one, but not smart enough to avoid wasting time letting the crowd know how smart he is, so Alix pitches him out of the ring. COLE HAHAHA! Alix does a funky strut as Blonde picks himself up, deeply embarrassed. COACH To think, Krista gets injured, I'm happy, everyone's happy... and then we remember Alix is still here humbling people. And it's even worse when she does it, because you're getting humbled by a half-wit! Climbing back to the apron, Blonde manages to lure Alix in and catch her with a shoulder through the ring ropes. Blonde launches himself back inside, looking for a sunset flip. Alix rolls right through to her feet though and blasts Blonde in the face with a BUTT smash. Shaken, Blonde is then crushed with a rolling senton and pinned down... 1... 2... No! Grabbing a front facelock Alix tries to keep control of her challenger. Blonde breaks free with some shots to Alix's slender midsection and backs her off the ropes. The Trendsetter ducks his head for a backdrop, but Alix baseball slides through the legs, trips Blonde up onto his face and breaks into a Beyonce dance next to him while he nurses his nose. COLE A little dance for all the single ladies! COACH Da Coach is down with that. He likes all the single ladies. COLE All the single ladies? COACH ALL the singles ladies! COLE If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it. If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it. COACH Oh, oh, oh, oh. Alix skips to the ropes, leaping over Blonde as he attempts to provide a block in the road. As she approaches the far ropes Alix jumps to the middle rope, twisting backwards with a crossbody block... 1... 2... Blonde turns over on top, GRABBING ALIX'S BOOTY SHORTS! COLE HEY! 1... 2... NO! COLE Blonde trying to steal one! Both quickly to their feet, Blonde trips Alix's legs and holds his opponent in a very vulnerable position, suddenly with something to smile about. He teases a kick, but teases for too long and Alix kicks him away. Rolling back to her feet Alix ducks a wild swing from Blonde and catches him with an inverted atomic drop. She trips him up, teasing the same kick, to which Blonde freaks. The referee warns Alix not to do what she's thinking of doing. So she doesn't, floating over with a jacknife pin instead... 1... 2... No! COLE James Blonde, really struggling to get to grips with Alix here. Not the first and won't be the last, I'm sure. Alix whips Blonde into a corner, following up with a clothesline. She then climbs the turnbuckles, looking for the crowd to join her counting game. ONE! TWO! THREE! .... FOUR! ... FIVE! SIX! SEVEN! EIGHT! NINE! TEN! ELEVEN! .... ..... TWELVE! THIRTEEN! FOU... ...no, wait, wait... FOU... ...nope, hold on... FOURTEEN! COLE I... don't think Alix quite gets the game. Quite pleased with herself nonetheless, Alix whips Blonde out again. However, Blonde hangs on and reverses. Alix approaches the corner in control and leaps to the middle rope, only to lose her footing for a second. And before she can recover, Blonde rushes forward and bundles Alix over the top rope to the ring apron. COLE A slight slip from Alix, an uncharacteristic slip, has given Blonde a window into this match. As Alix picks herself up on the apron, Blonde rushes past her, springing to the middle rope and launching a dropkick. Alix is caught in the face and crashes to the floor to worried groans. Not from Blonde though, who takes a bow. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Now why is it that posing and showboating is BOOO worthy when JB does it, but Alix starts dancing and skipping and it's the greatest thing ever? COLE Because people like Alix? Laid out in a heap on the arena floor, things suddenly look dire for the new United States Champion. A groggy look is on Alix's face as she sits up, hand pressed to her back. Blonde takes the referee, allowing Megan to get involved. If she wanted to. Which she doesn't. So Blonde is forced to go get Alix himself, throwing the US Champ back inside the ring. "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" Despite Landon being nowhere in sight, the chants have an effect as Blonde starts flipping his shit. COLE Emotional attachments are a weird thing sometimes. Blonde takes his anger out on Alix, giving her a snap suplex and pinning her down... 1... 2... No! Blonde slaps on a chinlock, giving him the chance to list reasons to the crowd why they're wrong about Landon. "LET'S GO ALIX!" *clap clap clapclapclap* "LET'S GO ALIX!" *clap clap clapclapclap* Alix sits in the chinlock for a while, before suddenly saying "ooh, that's me!" and realising she should be getting back up. She fights back to her feet and fires elbows, trying to break Blonde's hold, eventually doing so. But as she hits the ropes, Blonde recovers and flips her over with a knee to the breadbasket. The fans boo again, never happy to see Alix hurt. Blonde delivers a double stomp to the ribs and covers... 1... 2... No! COLE James Blonde has wanted to hold this US Championship for some time, mainly it seems to impress Landon Maddix. And tonight he's getting his chance to impress his mentor, the chance he never got while Todd Cortez was champion. A scoop and a slam sets Alix, Blonde going to the middle rope. He preens at his hair as he prepares to come off, delivering the Marty Jannetty Fistdrop... BUT ALIX GETS HER FEET UP!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE But that will not have impressed anyone, except maybe Blonde's dentist! The fans rally behind Alix and both she and Blonde try to get back up. The referee reaches a count of five on them both before Blonde pulls himself up via the ropes. Nursing his jaw, he waits for Alix to get up and throws a right hand. But it's blocked and Alix fires back with a punch! Blonde tries again, but is blocked and punched again! A block, and a punch! COLE Alix is firing on all cylinders! Blonde is shot off the ropes and sent over with a BAAAAACK bodydrop! COACH Woah! C'mon James, get it together. COLE That'll be easier said than done, because the Alix Express is ROLLING~! Feeling good Alix raises the roof, imaginary backdrops for all. Blonde picks himself up in a corner and finds himself engulfed, a big flying avalanche from the fur-covered champion. So fun it was, that Alix decides to fly in again with a second avalanche and a loud "WHEEE!!" in mid-air. COLE Alix, big smile on her face, flying right towards you. But wake up James Blonde, this isn't a dream. Blonde staggers out of the corner and right into a Superkick! Cover by Alix... 1... 2... NO! Blonde tries to roll out of the ring but only makes it as far as the apron, before Alix reaches through the ropes and grabs hold of the hair. Blonde thrashes about, hanging by his hair. He's eventually dragged back to his feet and struck in the face. Alix then runs him down the apron, face-first into the outside turnbuckle. With Blonde dazed, Alix pulls him through the middle rope, then leaves him hanging... literally. From the middle rope, Alix soars with a legdrop, chopping Blonde down and the rest of the way into the ring. COLE That could do it right there! Rolling on top, Alix throws up a peace sign as the count is made... 1... 2... FOOT ON THE ROPES! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Alix looks confused as to why the counting has stopped, unaware of Megan's assist placing Blonde's foot on the ropes. COLE So much for Megan not getting involved. COACH Megan plays by her own rules. She's an independant woman. COLE When do you think someone will clue Landon into that fact? Arms folded, Megan does a good job of convincing the referee of complete dis-interest in the match. Which may or may not be acting. Alix pulls Blonde back to his feet, to his squeals of "not the hair". After a couple of slaps across the face, Alix turns and runs off the ropes. A quick recovery from Blonde surprises Alix, but she avoids his leapfrog, tucking and rolling through the legs. As Blonde turns around, Alix attempts to scoop him up. Apparantly over-estimating her own strength. Blonde slips out the over-arching back, hooking Alix's head and delivering a Reverse DDT! COLE The Fashion Statement! Alix got caught! Blonde reaches up and hooks Alix's leg, stacking her up... 1... 2... NO! "AL - IX!" "AL - IX!" "AL - IX!" "AL - IX!" Brushing back his abused hair, Blonde balls up his fist, ready to strike. COACH Oh yeah. Show 'em what a man does, JB! Blonde measures Alix with the biggest right hand of his life. Unfortunately, Alix ducks it. Striking at the chest Alix chops and slaps away, forcing Blonde back into a corner covering up as best he can. After threatening the referee with the same, insisting she's a "honey on the edge", Alix grabs Blonde, snapmaring him out of the corner. Alix quickly jumps to the middle rope, ready to follow up with a high flying move. Blonde is up though and grabs hold of Alix, hurling her backwards. Luckily, Alix is agile enough to backflip, landing safely on her feet. She poses for style points, then dives forward with another avalanche... but Blonde sidesteps!! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Nobody home! And Alix might have driven the wind out of herself. COACH Good. No wind, no talking, no dancing... no title. With Alix winded Blonde's eyes light up. He gives the signal, reeling Alix in and slapping on the cobra clutch. COACH HERE WE GO! Blonde has Alix all set up, but to everyone's confusion, he stops and just lets Alix go. COACH (wailing) ...what are you doing!? Wagging his finger, it's clear Blonde knows what he's doing. He appears to be the only one, as even Megan gets on his case. Blonde insists everything's under control though, as he takes Alix up into a fireman's carry. COACH He's going to win the title with Landon's move, Michael! What an honour! COLE Are you kidding me? Blonde walks Alix into the middle of the ring... but as he goes to throw her up in the air, Alix isn't there anymore. Escaping down the back, she slaps Blonde across the BUTT! Blonde wheels around with an elbow, but Alix ducks. And with Blonde off balance, she springs up and blasts him with KIDOLOGY!!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE THERE'S YOUR SHOUTOUT! COACH Nooooo! Alix makes the cover, as Megan looks on disbelievingly, hands on hips... 1... 2... 3!!!!! *DINGDINGDING!* COLE Rock beats scissors, Krista beats Landon, Alix beats Blonde! COACH Damn you and poetic your logic! Alix skips around in victory, presented with her US Title again. Megan just stares, shaking her head at the idiocy of the KOed Blonde. BUFFER Your winner of the match and STILL OAOAST UNITED STATES CHAMPION... ALIX MMAAARRIIIIAAA... SSSPPEEEEZZZIIIIAAAAAAAAA!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" Performance over, Alix takes a bow and blows kisses to the fans as she leaves. COLE Just another day at the office for Alix! COACH I doubt she even knows where she is, to be quite honest. COLE An impressive first title defence for Alix. Are we seeing the beginnings of a Chicks Over Dicks reign of terror? Sitting up in the ring, Blonde looks mortified at having lost and buries his head in his hands. FADE OUT

PRESENTED IN HD FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY -OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT- To answer Tony's question, we never had a theme song by Miley, but we did have a spectacular named after her. Miley Cyrus Spectacular! OAOAST ARENA We come to sofa central where Coach and Cole, wearing orange polos and khaki pants, sit in an area decorated with Thanksgiving paraphernalia such as autmun leaves, cornocupias and fake turkeys. They're forced to talk over Van Halen's "Top Of The World" Why is that song playing? Read and find out! COLE Welcome, folks, to the number one rated sports entertainment show on television, OAOAST HeldDOWN~! What big night we just had at the Halloween Spectacular, nudity, new US champion, and a new world champion COACH And titties! COLE Yes I said that. And yes you heard correctly we have a new world champion in Reject, leader of the Deadly Alliance. COACH Like it or hate, the R-man is carrying the gold. In the ring, the Deadly Alliance stands as the music continues to play, attired in stylish suits. Sandman and Arturas both have the arms torn off of theirs. COLE And indeed, they are on Top of the World, The Deadly Alliance, led by the new World Heavyweight champion, Reject! For those of you who missed it this past Sunday, Reject cashed in his Money in the Bank contract during the match between Krista and Leon Rodez, and the match was turned into a triple threat! The finish is shown to the match. COLE (voiceover) Reject struck fast, scoring the pin on an injured Krista and becoming the champion of the World! Reject, with the belt strapped over his shoulder, raises the mic to his mouth, waiting for the music to die down, as the crowd boos. REJECT Today is a great day in the OAOAST! *crowd boos* REJECT For the last three months, we've asked ourselves the question: "Who's going to lead the OAOAST into the future: Krista, the narcissistic lesbian, or Leon, the emo porn star?" Well, this past Sunday, that bleak outlook was washed away when I, Reject, stepped in and made everything right, becoming YOUR World Heavyweight champion! *crowd boos* REJECT Because let's face it, Krista's time was up. Unfortunately, she couldn't figure that out, because like most women, she didn't have a watch. And why don't women have watches, T-Kid? THUNDERKID Because there's a clock on the stove! REJECT Exactly! Hopefully that arm cast doesn't hinder the ability to bake a cake or make me a sandwich. *crowd boos* REJECT And as for Leon Rodez...I will never get tired of putting that guy on his back. Maybe now he can take some time off to go see a shrink or something. I thought that guy was emo before he turned on Zack...wow. It's always good to see razor marks on the wrists of your World champion when he raises his belt up, right? But anyway, where are we tonight? Oh yes, Cincinnati! *crowd cheers* REJECT You know, it's nice that we can do a great service like this, and bring a REAL team of winners like the Deadly Alliance to a loser town like Cincinnati! *crowd boos* REJECT I mean, your star wide receiver changed his name! That's how embarrassed he was to be representing this city! *crowd boos* REJECT And the Reds...what's it been, 19 years without the playoffs now? Hell, even the CUBS have won a playoff series since then! *crowd boos* REJECT But...I gotta be fair, you guys do have the undefeated Cincinnati Bearcats football team! *crowd cheers* MR. DICK Yeah, but they play in the Big East! REJECT Oh...well, nevermind, then. I thought I had one for you, Cincinnati. Sorry! *crowd boos* REJECT Man, remember when Cincinnati wasn't full of losers? SANDMAN ...no. REJECT Exactly. But hey, at least we brought in a winning product tonight! Revel in it, Cincinnati! Top of the World plays again, as The Deadly Alliance stands in the ring with their heads held high. TONIGHT'S MAINEVENT US TITLE JAMES BLONDE VS NEW CHAMPIONALIX MARIA SPEZIA TONIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS TONIGHT! COMMERCIAL

Backstage in the suddenly less populated Duncan family dressing room, Alix is trying to draw funny pictures on her US title. She’s interrupted in this odd pursuit by D*LUX TYLER How you holding up? ALIX I’m sucky! It’d be one thing if someone I hate got their arm broken. Like when my Uncle Pedro lost his foot in a mowing accident, that was funny. But this is someone I love, and she’s, like, all hurt and stuff. Like, I can’t even enjoy my US Title. And oh my god, there’s not even a hint of chocolate in this bad boy. I spent hours eating it! The only thing I can think about right now is revenge, ya know. I’ve killed men for less than what Leon did to me, and I should shoot him bang bang, but it’s a recession out here and bullets ain’t cheap, young homies. So, I'm just gonna whup that creep's BUTT for what he did! SHAYNE You’re not the only one feeling like that. Next time I see Leon, it’ll be the last time he sees me. Get my drift? ALIX Yeppers, you’re gonna rape and murder him. Awesome! But before ya get on that train to the Hershey Highway, lemme take a crack at him first. Like, I know I don’t always seem super serious and stuff, but this time I’m legit 100% serious. Krista has two daughters that had to watch her get her arm broken up close and personal because of Leon. That's just not cool, its awful, no girl should see their mommy hurt like that. Except for me but I hate my mother. I can't let this kind of thing go because I love Krista, grouchy, drunk, rude, horrible cook, falls asleep in movies, takes 3 hours to get ready to go out, routinely mocks me, never feeds the dogs, leaves the bathroom a mess, and all. I can’t stand to see her in pain! She’s really bummed about all this, and, like, this is such Leon Rodez’ fault. That’s why I can’t breathe easy until I get him, ya know. TYLER Whatever you decide to do, we’ve got your back. ALIX Alright doggy style sex! Can’t wait! TYLER No I mean— SHAYNE (whispering to Tyler) Shut up, dude, we can score! TYLER (ignoring Shayne) What I mean is that we’re behind you with whatever route you decide to take. SHAYNE And good luck in your match tonight. ALIX (sinsterly) Wish James Blonde luck, because until Krista comes back I’m gonna break the arm of every person I face……hehehehhe only kidding, but wouldn’t it be awesome if I wasn’t? I could mount the arms on my wall, like my uncle Jose mounts the heads of his dead rival drug dealers. Well, anyway, bye! COMMERCIAL COMING UP NEXT US TITLE JAMES BLONDE VS ALIX MARIA SPEZIA THE MAINEVENT IS NEXT!

Backstage, a celebration party is taking place, and the Burrough Boys are gathered together drinking punch (probably with vodka, lol). MARIANO Yo, what's goin' on wit' da G-Men? LUTHER I dunno, dawg. We can't be takin' this shit from da Iggles. MARIANO We gotta get 'dis one on Sunday, yo. West Coast is whack. QUINCY Jacobs has had it, yo. We in sum trouble. WALDO Man, y'all need ta chill, yo. LUTHER Waldo's got a point, y'all. We could be Jets fans. Waldo hangs his head as the three chuckle at Luther's comment. Meanwhile, Tony Tourettes slams his hand into a bowl of chips and comes out with a handful, as Felix Strutter looks on with a slightly disgusted look. He takes a bite of one of the chips as he comes back into the crowd. TONY THESE ARE FUCKIN' STALE! Tony slaps his hand full of chips onto the back of Luther's head. LUTHER Man, what is wrong wit' you! Luther and Tony flail their arms at each other for a couple seconds as Waldo looks on and laughs. At this point, the Deadly Alliance walks in, to applause for Reject. MARIANO Congratulations, baby! REJECT Thanks, guys. LUTHER Yeah, it was time for that Krista to go, cause like we said, West Coast is whack! East Coast 4 life, son! REJECT Exactly! MARIANO This is a big week! Our boy Reject became a World champ...and the Yankees, baby! #27! QUINCY Man, fuck the Yankees. WALDO I feel you on dat one, yo. Da Yanks and da Phillies? Man, that's torture. Vinny Valentine comes onto the scene. VINNY The champ is in the house! It's party time! We got the refreshments, we got the women...all that's missin' is some music. Vinny pulls out a big boombox. VINNY This one's to "celebrate" the new champ! Vinny hits the play button, and the chorus to Celebrate by Three Dog Night begins to play. Vinny dances as he gets the singing started. VINNY Celebrate! Celebrate! Dance to the Music! The BB's and Tony join in, and start to dance in a circle around the DA, who look on confused, but slowly bob their heads. Tony stops, then turns around and starts to back it up into Sandman, who sticks his foot out and shoves him into the refreshment table. Vinny and the BB's stop and look at Tony for a couple seconds, then start to dance again. -------------------- Back in her office, Josie is attempting to run through a heavy workload of contracts and rulebooks. However she's interrupted by HOLLY who storms through the door JOSIE You. HOLLY Yeah, me. JOSIE You. HOLLY Yeah, me again. You asked to see me? Whadoya want, Baker? JOSIE You lied to me. Do you know that? You lied to me. HOLLY What the (bleep)? You called me in to throw that random shit in my face. JOSIE You said you could get rid of Morgan. You promised me, Holly! Did you do that? Is she no longer champion? Is she on her way back to Edmonton with a pink slip in her hand? HOLLY Don’t lay this shit on me. JOSIE Well, who should I lay it on? Its your fault, all your fault. You’re the one who promised me a Morgan free OAOAST. HOLLY That’s before I knew your referees were all full of horse shit. Who the hell counts someone out in a title match? Of all the stupid things in this world, I get counted out and my husband gets DQ’ed for voicing his opinion. If you’re fishing for an apology, you ain’t getting one. JOSIE I deserve one. HOLLY I deserve one more. My husband deserves one! Where do you get off calling me in here and trying to spew that garbage at me. I was closer to beating Morgan than anyone has ever been. I was dismantling her limb from limb. I did my part, your referee just (beep) everything up for both of us. JOSIE I don’t know what to do. HOLLY What do you mean you don’t know what to do? Its (beep) obvious! Give me Morgan at November Reign. JOSIE November Reign? I kind of like that. I kind of like that a lot. I like it because I don’t have to rely just on you, I could stack an entire team of women against her. HOLLY A team? Hold up now. You mean a lumberjack match? JOSIE Not quite. I mean a survivor series match you leading one one side and Morgan leading on the other. HOLLY That’s (beep) retarded! What’s wrong with you? JOSIE Sorry, Holly but you already fell short once. I won’t risk embarrassment again. Now, if you ever want another title shot, then I think you better start considering how you’re going to win at November Reign.

We return to an arena bathed in red, white and blue lights. “Living in America“ by James Brown cues and the All-American Boys proudly wave Old Glory down the aisle. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from the Hearts of the American people, they fight for truth, justice and the American way… FREEDOM and LIBERTY… THE ALL-AMERICAN BOYS!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Liberty and Freedom salute the American flag as “Tom Sawyer” by Rush plays the Can-Am Assassins to the ring. BUFFER And their opponents, total combine weight 488 pounds… FELIX STRUTTER and KEN PANTERA… THE CAN-AM ASSASSINS!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Off come the windbreakers and everybody’s ready for action. * DINGDINGDING * Pantera and Liberty lockup as the bell sounds. Clubbing blow to the back stuns Liberty, who’s then whipped in and floored by a clothesline. Following an elbow drop Liberty is scooped up and slammed near his corner. COACH Now there’s a man with confidence, Cole. How often do you see somebody willingly let their opponent tag out? COLE You can when you’re built like a tank as Ken Pantera is. That man is freakishly strong. Liberty wrings the arm out of a tie-up and Pantera shoves him off, decking Liberty on the rebound with a shoulder tackle. Liberty executes a quick drop toehold and grabs a side headlock, only to be shot into the ropes for a powerslam! COLE It’s all over if Pantera goes for the cover. But Pantera doesn’t. Instead he tags Strutter who delivers a FLYING ELBOW DROP! The cover. ONE! TWO! NO! Freedom makes the save. COACH That guy must really hate his partner, Cole. I mean why bother to breakup the pin knowing it’s only going to lead to more of a beating for his partner? COLE Maybe because he wants his team to win the match? Strutter performs a trapped arm belly-to-belly suplex, then rocks Freedom with a big right and helps the All-American Boys make a tag himself! COLE Would you take a look at this? COACH (laughs) Turns out Freedom was the one in for the beating. Strutter brings Freedom in the hard way and puts the boots to him. Freedom is brought to his feet and drilled by a high roundhouse kick, then planted with a trapped arm belly-to-belly suplex. Pantera enters and whips Freedom hard out of the corner, prompting Strutter to charge out of the other corner to execute a SLEEPERHOLD DROP!! COACH You can put this one in the record book, Cole. It’s over. The cover. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * COLE What a showing by the Can-Am Assassins. Here’s the official decision. BUFFER Here are your winners, the team of Felix Strutter and Ken Pantera… THE CAN-AM ASSASSINS!! Strutter calls for the mic and gets it. STRUTTER So the OAOAST is allowing Team Heyross to come out and play again, huh? Well that’s all good because we have some unfinished business. You see, we’re the guys Team Heyross fear. The mention of our names alone send them running. In fact, the last time we met face to face we kicked their ass so bad they ran to Josie Baker and begged her to keep us far away. But like they say, the cream ALWAYS rises to the top…and the Can-Am Assassins are the cream of the crop when it comes to tag team wrestling. We’re gonna prove it now that Team Heyross can’t run from us no more. Those pretty gold belts will be around our waists in no time. “Tom Sawyer” by Rush cues as Strutter points to the camera, Pantera signaling they want the belts in the background. COLE Strong words from the Can-Am Assassins, although I question their assertion Team Heyross are ducking them. Charlie Moss and Quentin Benjamin fear no one. COACH I don’t know, Cole. Strutter made a good point. They haven’t been on TV much since getting into an altercation with Team Heyross at the Chi-Town Spectacular. It reeks of politics to me. COLE I think it’s more sour grapes myself. Stay with us, fans. HeldDOWN~! continues in a moment. COMMERCIAL

How you feeling? (Hot hot hot) How you feeling? (Hot hot hot) HOT NEWZ~! OAOAST Original Tony Brannigan mans the anchor desk inside the state-of-the-art OAOAST Hot Newsroom. BRANNIGAN Hi again, everyone. Tony Brannigan here and breaking right now on all OAOAST media outlets, Hot News on the One & Only World Tag Team Title situation. Before I get into that, however, let’s revisit the closing moments of the LDC Moneygang/Team Heyross tag title bout from Angleslam. ANGLESLAM Courtesy: OAOAST Home Entertainment A graphic w/the tag titles appears on the upper left hand corner of the screen. BRANNIGAN Rather than ask for a rematch, which Team Heyross no doubt would’ve accepted, Spencer Reiger and Colin Maguire Jr. immediately filed protest. This despite the fact there was a double pin…with the illegal member of Team Heyross being pinned at that! But after weeks of legal wrangling we finally have closure, because moments ago the OAOAST Board of Directors rejected the LDC Moneygang’s appeal to have that decision overturned. The previous graphics turns into one w/Team Heyross holding the gold. BRANNIGAN That means the titles are once again free to be defended on OAOAST television and across the globe. And I understand Team Heyross will be here LIVE next week. What they’ll have to say is anybody’s guess, but teams are probably lining up as we speak for a title shot. Maybe the Can-Am Assassins will be one of those teams. They're in action next! COMMERCIAL

Returning from break, in her office, Josie Baker is busy in mid-conversation, with a sheepish looking Molly Nerdly. MOLLY ...but, it won't happen again, I promise. JOSIE It better hadn't. Otherwise next time, you'll be explaining yourself to the board of directors. Besides, what do you think your fellow students think of you, exposing yourself on live Pay Per View? MOLLY It was Halloween. Half of them were doing the same thing... on a smaller scale, admittedly. And also, a couple of them do life drawing classes, where you have to paint the naked model? Anyway, they said I was breaking down barriers. You know, desensitising the natural state of nudity? JOSIE This isn't art, Molly. It's wrestling. Big difference. Now, I can't let this go unpunished I'm afraid, so you can expe... A THUD suddenly interrupts the lecture. Stomping into the room with a face like thunder, Leon Rodez glares a hole through Josie's forehead. LEON (to Molly) Leave. Now. Not needing telling twice, Molly hurries off. Josie tries not to let herself by intimidated by the hulking, fuming wrestler in her face and stares right back. LEON You owe me. JOSIE I take it this is about Sunda... LEON You owe me... and you know it. I had Krista beat. I got screwed last week... and I want to know what you're going to do about it. JOSIE Well the way I see it, you screwed yourself. If you hadn't asked for it to be no disqualifications, then Alix wouldn't have been able to interfere, would she? You know, not everything is everyone else's fault in your life, Leon. Barely able to contain himself, Leon grinds his teeth. LEON You know damn well, you also said no outside interference. But apparantly, that doesn't extend to anyone helping Krista. And you know damn well, I asked for a one on one match. All these goddamn briefcases... I am sick and tired of people running in and snatching away what's rightfully mine! JOSIE Well, I also said last week that you've used up your opportunites. And I stick by that. So for now, you're just going to have to wait in line. Leon just stands there, breathing heavily, staring at Josie. Then, suddenly, he makes a move forward, pinning Josie up against her desk. LEON Do you want to know, what I felt, when I hit that 450 on Krista last week? Do you want to know, what I felt, when I heard her arm SNAP in two!? Do you want to know how I felt when I looked at her eyes glazing over, her lips trembling, barely able to take a breath!? NOTHING. I felt NOTHING. Now, I accept... that the whole world is against me. But I am long since past the point of lying down and taking it. And as far as I'm concerned, anyone who's against me and is playing their part in making my life a living hell... they deserve EVERYTHING they get. No matter... WHO... they are. JOSIE Y-you wouldn't dare lay a finger on me. LEON Oh... maybe I wouldn't. Josie's eyes widen. LEON The question is... do you want to find out? Taking a step away Leon finally gives Josie some space to breathe, which she desperately needs. Leon scowls at her for a few more seconds before turning and leaving, as Josie tries to compose herself. COMMERCIAL

The nonsensical entrance music selection of Thriller by Fall Out Boy drifts into the arena, giving birth to an excited murmur from the crowd. Red and blue lights splash across the landscape, as an orange pyro missle descends from the peak of the overhead scoreboard and onto the entrance stage. It lands with tremendous impact, nearly deafening those spectators unlucky enough sit near it. Immediately after the powerful pyro display concludes the lights dim to a troubling blackness. The home audience is shown an overhead view of the entrance stage, it's metallic floor carpeted by simmering flames that form the shape of a bull's head. The camera then pans downward to reveal Melody in red flannel shirt tied up to her chest and daisy duke shorts, standing right beside her is super hunk Baron Windells wearing white trunks, burnt orange kneepads, and white boots. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a TV time limit of twenty minutes! Now making his to the ring accompanied by Melody Nerdly, he weighs in at two hundered and sixty five pounds, and is a former one and only tag team champion, hailing from San Antonio, Texas, he is BAROOON WINDEELLLLLLLLLS The fans put forth a mighty cheer for the announcement of The Gunslinger’s name. He pays these fans their due respect with a kind nod as he enters the ring. He then stands in the center of ring holding his arms up in triumph as the fans’ mimic the gesture. COLE This match between Baron Windells and Christian Wright has its origins in Halloween Spectacular- COACH Because Baron took a cheap shot at Wright and knocked him into a pit of apples! You don’t know where those apples have been. They might have been shoved up Clay Aiken’s ass. You just don’t know! COLE I doubt they were in Clay Aiken's ass. COACH Why not, I heard your tongue is up there all the time. SONNED! Clean shirt, new shoes and I don't know what I am gonna do. Silk suit, black tie, I don't need a reason why. They come runnin' just as fast as they can cause every girl is crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man. Most unwelcome are the powerful duo Christian Wright and Lorelei DeCenzo. Arms hooked between each other, the two appear as though they’re ready for an evening of class and magic with Lorelei in a strapless, and backless, yellow evening gown, and CW in dress slacks and an Armani blazer. The smile at each other and then turn disdaining glares upon the fans as they march down the apron. COLE Christian Wright’s winning streak gets its hardest test yet, as he faces one of the toughest and rugged men in the OAOAST. BUFFER And the opponent being accompanied by Lorelei DeCenzo, he weighed in at 8 1/3 bars of gold, and hails from Washington DC, he is the 2005 rookie of the year, and a former tag team champion, ladies and gentlemen please welcome…THE NATURAL CHRISTIAAAAAAAN WRIIIIIIIIGHT! The crowd is nothing short of hostile towards the snobbish twosome. Wright merely chuckles at their anger as he happily pats his briefcase. Lorelei seperates from his path, in order to take up residence at the announce table. COACH Welcome, Miss Lorelei! LORELEI The pleasure is all your’s. COACH It sure is! Loved the costume, by the way! DING DING DING Japanese referee Okari Tanaka decides to explain the rules to BW. Odd as BW has been wrestling for the better part of his twenties. The rules do more to harm BW then help them as Wright breaks them by bum rushing The Gunslinger. His blows back BW into the corner. This allows him to hammer BW’s toned stomach with fierce stomps. After landing a good ten stomps, the 2005 rookie of the year whips BW into the opposite corner. “CHRISTIAN SUCKS! CHRISTIAN SUCKS! CHRISTIAN SUCKS!” After attempting to shush the booing audience, The Natural glides across the ring to strike his foe with a lariat. But as he nears BW rips himself off the corner posts. Wright tries to slam on the breaks, but fails and is tagged with punches from the handsome cowboy. “BARON! BARON! BARON!” BW takes hold of CW’s arm and throws him into the ropes. BW puts himself off the ropes, hoping to catch CW with a lariat. But Wright slides beneath his muscular arm. He quickly stands up and catches onto BW’s neck. From there he falls downward and cracks Windells’ neck with a neckbreaker. He then dives atop BW, and hooks the leg for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Windells lifts his shoulder off the canvas. In response to an unwelcome kickout, Wright hops to his feet and drops an elbow towards BW. But the Texan moves out the way and Christian’s elbows crashes into the canvas. Pain spreads across his face, as he retracts his arm to his chest. Shooting angered looks at Baron, The Natural slowly reaches a vertical base. But once he’s upright The Lonestar Gunslinger leaps upwards and catches him with a dropkick! The attack lands with so much force that CW falls into the ring ropes. COLE Wright is in trouble. LORELEI Christian is never in trouble. Trouble has never met Christian Wright. Baron throws his fist up in the air, drawing a pop from the fans and especially large cheer form DA LADIEZ~! LORELEI How quaint. Windells charges into the ropes, and bounces back towards Christian. Upon reaching the Lonestar Gunslinger he leaps into the air and comes down across his back. The Natural howls in pain, but manages to pick himself off the canvas. This does him little good, however; BW grabs onto his arm and chucks him into a corner. Upon landing against the posts, Wright tries an immediate escape.. However he’s thrown back when BW makes him BITE HIS SHINY METAL ASS! LORELEI What a horrible move that is. Horrible or not it seems to do the trick as CW stumbles away from the ropes, glazed eye. Baron pounces upon him, and hooks his hands through his foe’s slacks. He then lifts him into the air and brings him down with a vertical suplex! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” COACH Damn, where’s Christian when you need someone to yell SILENCE? COLE He’s right there getting his ass kicked. LORELEI Please watch who you’re talking about. This is only part of the strategy. While CW’s “strategy” sees him whimper on the floor, BW starts a climb to the top turnbuckle. Seeing the imminent danger, Wright springs back to his feet. He makes a dash for Windells and clubs him in the back to halt his ascent. However, Baron will not be stopped and violently fights back by thrashing his cowboy boots into CW’s skull. The Natural can only take so many strikes before he topples over to the canvas. “BOOM HEADSHOT!” Melody shouts from the outside. Baron ascends to the top rope, and pumps his fist in a show of respect to the fans. As they cheer him on he comes off the rope with a body splash. He lands onto Wright with tremendous force, and the fans cheer wildly. Next he hooks onto Wright’s legs for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Wright pushes himself out the pinfall. Immediatley both competitors rise to their respective bases. Windells throws hard and heavy punches that back The Natural into the corner. Leaving Wright to linger stunned, The Gunslinger backs to the center of the ring. He then throws himself forward and attempts to catch The Natural with a corner lariat. But CW ducks low and intercepts Baron with a chop block. The big Texan falls over onto the canvas, gritting his teeth against the pain. Wright is instantly upon him stomping at his knees with his leather dress shoes. Melody whines, “OMG this s-u-x!” The situation grows even suckier, as Wright attaches his foe into a standing leg lock. LORELEI Admire the way Christian finds a body part to exploit and does it with such accuracy. COACH That’s why they call him The Natural. He’s a natural at this game. The pain is harsh but BW forces himself to endure it. CW makes this a difficult task by twisting and tearing at the tendons in the knee. Windells has no escape from the move and continues to suffer when CW begins dropping elbows onto his knee. “LET’S GO BARON! LET’S GO BARON! LET’S GO BARON!” Windells finds strength in the audience’s chants and begins hammering Wright in the head with elbows. CW tries is hardest to keep BW locked down, but The Gunslinger’s fight is too great to control. Eventually BW wins his freedom and fights his way to his feet. Now upright both competitors trade blows, with Wright gaining the upper hand with a European uppercut. Having weakened BW with that strike, The Natural is able to fling him into a nearby corner. CW then performs the money finger gesture before skating across the ring at his foe. But BW has a fine recovery and raises his cowboy boots as forcefield against CW. The Natural falls back to the canvas. However, he’s in better shape than BW who painfully limps out the corner. CW realizes this, and takes advantage of the situation. He seizes hold of Baron’s arms, underhooking his own through them. Windells begins a powerful struggle for his freedom. Yet its of little use as CW is able to power him into the air and then smash his back against his outstretched knee. COLE There’s a Nightmare on Wallstreet! A pinfall is attempted by CW…. ONE! TWO! Miraculously, Windells fights his way out the pinfall. The audience is absolutely estatic and begins chanting his name. LORELEI He must be using performance enhancing drugs! There isn’t any way he could survive the Nightmare on Wallstreet. Incredibly frustrated, Wright roughly brings BW to his feet. But as he has BW halfway up, the Texas stud begins winging fists into CW’s midsection. CW tries to stand firm against the blows, but they come too heavy and too fast. Thus Wright is forced into relinquishing his hold on BW. Putting his freedom to good use Baron begins hammering Wright’s face with punches. The Natural’s head bounces back and forth and side to side like a basketball. With Wright dizzied and stunned by the move, Baron does a small jig and then floors CW with the Cowboy Bebop! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” MELODY Cowboy Bebop FTW! Baron looks for the win also with a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Kickout! LORELEI This isn’t exactly going as well as I had envisioned. COACH What did you envision? LORELEI Certainly not Christian getting elbowed in the face by a dancing rodeo clown! Wright scrambles to his feet with his hand clutching onto his sore face. This leaves the rest of his body wide open and Windells pounces on it with stomps to his midsection. After weakening CW with those stomps, The Gunslinger traps inside a front facelock. He latches onto his dress pants and raises him high into the air, delaying so as to showcase his raw might. COLE Such power, such scary power! No wonder Landon Maddix refuses to face this man! Baron’s round of showboating comes with a hefty price; Wright is able to knee his way out of danger. He comes down on his Brooks Brother’s loafers, hacking and wheezing for breath. There’s little time get his bearings, as Baron lobs a lariat towards him. Wright narrowly escapes harm, ducking bellow Baron’s incoming shot. But his escape is short lived as Baron swings a boomerang lariat at the back of his head. COLE Myspace Comeback! “Everyone is using facebook these days” Melody chides. COLE Don’t yell at me, you named the move! There’s a loud and vicious sort of booing from the audience. The animosity stems from Landon Maddix strolling down the entry way. He wears the devious grin of a trickster, which doesn’t go unnoticed by the booing fans. COLE He has no business being anywhere near ring side! Maddix seems to disagree with that statement, and expresses his disdain for the rules by stepping onto the ring apron. This draws the attention of referee Okari Tanaka, who orders Maddix off the apron. Maddix is defiant, and remains on the apron to taunt BW. This captures Baron’s interest, and the Gunslinger jaws back to Maddix. Unfortunately this pulls away his eyes from Wright, who is retrieving his briefcase. COLE Baron look out! Wondering what the commotion is about, Baron spins around. At that moment he’s smashed between the eyes by the case. Windells sags down to the canvas, as Wright removes the evidence of the misdeed. With Maddix smiling at the mishap he’s caused, Tanaka slides to the ring to count the fall… ONE! TWO! THREE! DING DING DING BUFFER Your winner….CHRISTIAN WRIIIIIGHT! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Maddix claps his hands more for Baron’s loss than CW’s victory. He pumps his fist and jumps back up the entrance ramp to celebrate this wondrous outcome. COLE Well that just stinks! But what can you expect from someone like Landon Maddix? He’s afraid of Baron Windells, absolutely terrified and has to resort to cheap tricks to take his shot at the young stud. Maddix's time will come and its only a matter of weeks before Baron Windells lays down the law on the lawless one. Meanwhile Lorelei has carried herself into the ring and with a proud smile hands CW a microphone. "CHRISTIAN SUCKS! CHRISTIAN SUCKS! CHRISTIAN SUCKS!" WRIGHT From this calendar day forward, as long as the sun may set, and the moon shall shine, I, Christian Wright, will concede neither pinfall nor submission to any man! “BOOOOOOOOOOO!” COLE Like it or not, and Landon Maddix likes it, Christian Wright has extended his unbeaten streak to four. COACH Only 96 away from historic 100! COLE Ugh. COMMERCIAL

HeldDOWN returns with the view focused on the Thanksgiving themed sofa central COLE Folks welcome back to HeldDOWN, plenty more here on TSM such as The Can-Am Assassins in action as well as Alix putting her US title against James Blonde. Right now, let's send it back to Josh Matthews with some special guests. At the interview backdrop, it's a crowded scene. Matthews is stood in the middle, literally surrounded. Either side of him are Queen Esther, sat in her royal throne, and Landon Maddix with his SWF ICTV disguised as an OAOAST 6-Man Title over the shoulder of his red Cucaracha Internacional tracksuit top. Yes, they have tracksuits now. Even though only Landon is wearing is. Next to those two, off to either side, are their four respective stable members. MATTHEWS I'm standing by right now with two of the OAOAST biggest forces. To my left, Cucaracha Internacional and to my right, All The Queen's Men. And, first of all, I'm wondering why you wanted this time split between you? LANDON Well, that's really very simple. The past couple of weeks, you might have noticed that myself and the fair Queen here have entered into a little 'working agreement' and I just wanted to take this time to publicly thank the Queen for her graciousness... Landon reaches across, with a very staged handshake with Queen Esther, who fans herself in "surprise" and "humility". LANDON ...I know I've said many times that Cucaracha Internacional are the strongest unit in the OAOAST. And, it's still true. But, if there had to be a close second, it would be the Queen and her men. QUEEN ESTHER Why, thank you! Oh, what great fortune, to find a gentleman such as my Spanish-American friend here in this world. A man both of great honour and great integrity. MATTHEWS .....you mean Landon? LANDON Of course she means me! Now, with that out of the way, let's talk business. I wasn't in Iowa last week for the Halloween Spectacular. For many reasons. Not least, because it was in Iowa. BUT, I did keep my eye on the show from afar, on Pay Per View. And after watching what happened, I began to think that maybe this little business arrangement might have to become a permanent one. Because it's obvious, we're the only people in this entire company with any class whatsoever. Nods all around from everybody, except Faqu, who's grunting noises couldn't really be described as 'classy'. LANDON Don't even get me started on that costume contest. Total objectification of women, including Queen Esther. I was appalled. MEGAN So appalled, he had to take his laptop into the bathroom for fifteen minutes. ...... LANDON To vomit, yes. ...... QUEEN ESTHER As correct as you are noble, you most certainly are. Why, I may have to contemplate disposing of ALL footage from that awful show. All Hallow's Eve does just the worst of things to the most ordinary of people. It is quite terrible. But the most unedifying scene of them all was the indignation, suffered by my Hellfire Club. To be subjected to the unrequested nudity of another. OH! I'm all of a quiver just thinking about it. LANDON Me too. Quivering with rage. Landon glares over at Megan, clarifying himself before she can make another wisecrack. LANDON It's pretty obvious these Nerdlys have got no shame. All week, I've been hit by what basically amounts to spamming... I think that's the term... by Melody Nerdly. E-mails. Texts. Facebook. Twitter. I don't have any of them. But she does. And she's using them to try and start some 'campaign for justice', claiming that we didn't give Baron, Cash and her brothers a fair shot at our OAOAST 8-Man Tag Team Titles. A 'campaign for justice'. Seriously. Little does this fresh-ai deprived geek seem to realise, I'm constantly scouting. Watching footage. Tracking stats. These 8-Man Titles are prestigious. And the reason they're prestigious is because Cucaracha Internacional are holding them. We issued an open challenge months ago, to any team who thought they could beat us. But that was just to get the ball rolling. Get the interest peaking. That window is slammed shut now. If Baron and his buddies want another shot at the strongest unit in the OAOAST, they're going to have to earn it. If they do, we'll be more than happy to give them a shot. Until then, step away from the computer, step outside your front door and step into the real world, Melody. With a finger, Landon beckons an excited James Blonde out of the group. LANDON As far as tonight goes, we're going to concentrate on more important things. Like bringing the US Title back into our Internacional camp. James, tell them about it. Eager, Blonde commandeers the microphone. BLONDE Alix Maria Spezia, you picked the wrong time to become the US Champion! Because Landon's done the deal, Landon's worked his magic, Landon's got me a shot at you tonight! I've been waiting for this opportunity for a year now. The opportunity to show Landon that I can follow in his footsteps! That maybe one day, maybe somewhere some time, I can be just as half as good as he is! And be a singles champion! Landon believes in me and he's given me all the confidence in the world! You're riding high right now and you're a big name in the OAOAST! But there's a bigger name in the OAOAST now! And his name is Landon Maddix! And his right hand man, me, the second in command, is going to take your US Title, tonight! Blonde pats Landon on the back and gives him a thumbs up, positively bursting with joy as we go back to the arena. COLE What a lovefest that was. Sheesh.

We're looking at Saturday or Sunday, folks. I'll do Christian Wright Vs Baron Windells unless anyone has objections.

Unless anyone got beef with this, both members of VICE are available for the Heartland extravaganza

Any problems with that???

All finished! The arena goes duck and KISS’ powerful God Of Thunder explodes into the arena. As guitar riffs blare the venue is darkened. The graveyard lights up with a thick yellow smoke that’s highlighted by yellow spotlights. Bursting through the smoke is ThunderKid wearing black biker tights with lightening bolts down the side and black gloves with block boots with lightening bolts on the sides. He tosses his US championship over his shoulders and nods to himself before heading to the ring. BUFFER The following is a United States championship match scheduled for one fall with a time limit of forty minutes. Now making his way to the ring, from Green Bay, Wisconsin. He represents the Deadly Alliance, he weighed in at two hundred and fifty pounds, he is YOUR United States Champion….THUNDERKIDDDDDDDDDD! ThunderKid strolls down the entrance ramp with title raised high. Seeing his pride and arrogance, the fans batter him with boos and vulgar insults. COLE Folks, lets take a look at how this match came about. [QUOTE] [B]OAOAST HOUSE SHOW[/b] [i]Denzel Spencer , Chicks Over Dicks, D*LUX Vs The Deadly Alliance and Leon Rodez[/i] Towards the end of the contest TK has Denzel Spencer trapped inside a front facelock for the Thunder Bolt DDT, but before he can execute his finisher Alix sneaks behind him and pantes him! “AHHHHHHHHHH!” scream an aghast audience. TK is equally worried and shamed and breaks his grip on Denzel. But this allows Denzel to hit the Carribean Compactor (Northern Lights Bomb) for a win! [/quote] We return to the arena where TK looks on in disgust at what transpired that awful day. The fans tease him over the ordeal, which only serves to further sour his mood. COLE ThunderKid is arguably the best technical wrestler in the sport today. He’s a man of great pride, and commands respect from his peers. Obviously Alix did not show him due respect and as a result we have this United States title match. [b][i][color="#0000FF"]“You can be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare”[/color][/i][/b] While Beyonce’s dreamy “Sweet Dreams rolls across the arena, red and pink spotlights rove through the graveyard. Around these illuminations rest a red heart shaped bed with sparkling sheets. On top of this lies Alix Maria Spezia attired in the same outfit as the picture and holding those same frisbees. She sensually massages herself against the sheets, before spinning to a seating position. There she blows a kiss at the screen and super imposed red lips appear on screen. BUFFER And the challenger, she is from Los Angeles, California, she is a two time 24/7 champion and a four time tag team champion, she is The Hollywood Bad Girl ALIX MARIA SPEZIAAAAAAAAA COLE Two vastly different personalities at war here. ThunderKid is as we said a student of the game, arguably the best technical wrestler in the OAOAST, and Alix is almost as hard to defeat as Krista. In fact the only person who’s ever beaten her on one is Krista last year at Anglemania. COACH Don’t worry about ThunderKid, he relishes an opportunity like this. This is his dream to test his skills against someone nearly impossible to beat. Alix struts her stuff down the entrance ramp, happily smiling and giggling at the audience. At the base of the entry way, she flings the frisbees to the audience, letting them fight over the souvenir. Alix then scampers up the steps and heads to the top rope to flash peace signs to the roaring audience. TK gazes at her with a silent fury as he slowly cracks his knuckles. [b]DING DING DING[/b] COLE This is Alix’s first official crack at winning a singles title. COACH I guess Alix doesn’t want to be the Marty Jannetty of Chicks Over Dicks. ALIX Huh? Who’s that? COLE How can you hear us from over there? ALIX I dunno! How can I hear the screams of the children ThunderKID molested? TK :huh: Rather than debate Alix, TK steps into her for a lockup. They struggle for a moment until Alix grabs hold of his arm. TK tries to pull his way free but only meets with failure. Alix then scissors her legs around his waist and drags him to the ground in a pin… ONE! TWO! TK pops his shoulder off the canavs. Angered, he quickly rolls to his feet and charges at Alix. But the speedy Latina side steps his strike and the US champion falls through the ropes. He lands on his face pressed against the mats, which draws great joy from the audience. “I’m Alix, I’m great, I’m impossible to hate! He’s TK he’s annoying, so please chant boring!” “YOU ARE BORING! YOU ARE BORING! YOU ARE BORING!” the audience shouts. TK is obviously annoyed and barks at a few audience members for their disrespect. He rolls back into the ring, and immediately gets to his feet. Alix twirls around with a spinning kick, but misses the ducking champion. When she lands he reaches through her legs and pulls her down into a rollup… ONE! TWO! Alix quickly spills out of the pinfall. TK gives her no moment to catch her breath and begins planting his boots into her back. Having weakened her with those strikes, the Green Bay native bounces off the far ropes. He charges back with a shoulder block, but Alix’s agility allows her to leapfrog him. Stubborn to the very end, TK rushes back at Alix only to be struck down with by a spinning wheel kick! The tough competitor is quickly back on his feet, however. But he carries himself directly into a double knife edge chop from his challenger. COLE ThunderKid needs to compensate for Alix’s speed advantage and not be hit by these rapid fire strikes. Alix leaps into the air and wraps her beautiful legs around his neck and rolls him through the air with a hurricanrana. As soon as they touch the mat referee Earl Hebner counts the pinfall… ONE! TWO! “WAIT!” Alix shouts, ending the pin “You can see up my skirt. That’s ten dollars!” “I don’t have ten dollars” TK responds blankly. “THEN PERISH, HUMAN!” TK is ripped off the canvas by Alix, and his punishment is being flung hard into the ringposts. Air shoots through his mouth, a byproduct of his collision. “DUH-DUH –DUH-DUH! CHARGE!” she shouts and then makes a dash to TK. She jumps into the air and proceeds to knee TK straight in the head. She then wraps her arm around his neck and rushes forward for a bulldog. But TK manages to stay upright by shoving her into the far corner. He then sprints forward and dropkicks her directly in the back. As she staggers away from the ring posts, TK lifts her and throws her backwards with a fallaway slam. As soon as she hits the canvas, TK is on top of her for a pinall… ONE! TWO! Alix gets her shoulder up, pleasing the audience. She tries to crawl away to regroup and recover, but TK makes it annoyingly hard by driving his black padded boots into her side. Despite this she’s able to reach the ringposts and pull herself upright. But there’s no rest for her weary bones as the champion nails her in the face with repeated elbow strikes. The referee has to separate him from Alix as she clings onto the ropes. TK is determined to inflict pain, however, and runs past the referee with arm raised for a lariat. But Alix slides beneath his attacking arm and he collides with the ringposts. TK squeals in a voice that's both anguish and anger as a result of his errant attack. COLE That miss hurt both pride and body. COACH TK’s a proud dude, he believes he’s the best, and he doesn’t accept failure in himself or others. Alix runs in with a body splash, but TK ducks down and uses her momentum to launch her over the ropes. The bubbly brunette manages to come down on her white sneakers. This angers TK greatly and he swats at her with an elbow strike. The attack connects perfectly and nearly throws her off the apron. But she's kept aloft by TK's front facelock. From there he lifts her skinny body into the air, and timbers backwards to smash her into the canvas with a vertical suplex. He then floats over for a pin and counts along with the referee… ONE! TWO! Alix again forces her way out the pinfall.. “YEAAAAAAAAAA!” Noticeably less pleased, TK hooks Alix into a reverse chinlock. The pain is instant as TK wrenches harshly on her neck. The crowd immediately begins to rally behind Alix, chanting her name. This allows Alix to speedily gather her strength and resolve. With both of those firmly in place, she makes a rise to her feet. But TK shows his superior skills; he shifts on her and begins blasting her toned midsection with hard punches. He then traps her inside a rear waistlock, and attempts to lift her into a back suplex. But the Hollywood Bad Girl slides around TK’s body and pushes him downwards for a lateral press… ONE! TWO! TK rips his shoulder off the canvas, and holds a "Two" sign to the jeering fans. COLE ThunderKid hasn’t endeared himself to the OAOAST Marks. I believe they find him aloof and almost snobbish in a way. COACH When you work as hard as TK to be the best, its natural to look down on men who don’t put in that work like you do. Alix and TK roll to their feet, where TK draws first blood with a boot to her ribcage. This allows him to irish whip her into the corner. She hits hard and a whimper escapes her lips. As she stumbles out the corner, the DA member throws himself off the ropes. Once he comes back he strikes her down with a diving forearm. He then hooks onto both her bare legs for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! The fans pop as their heroine kicksout the pinfall. TK leaves her behind to squirm in agony, as he runs to the ropes. They spew him towards Alix and he jumps upward to come down with a leg drop across her throat. Alix wheezes and coughes, her face gone pale. TK takes this as a sign of defeat and pins her once more… ONE! TWO! Alix again finds the will to kickout the fall. Grabbing onto her thick chocolate hair, TK brings her off the canvas. He attempts an irish whip but Alix is able to reverse it. However, TK reverses her reversal and strikes her in the stomach with a short armed knee strike. While she wobbles in place, TK backs into the ropes and flings himself forward with a lariat. But Alix takes him and the audience by surprise with a spinning jumping roundhouse. TK topples over to the canavs with his eyes rolling to the back of his head. “Goodie! Goodie!” Alix cheers as she hooks onto TK’s right leg for a fall… ONE! TWO! TK lifts his shoulder off the mat, drawing boos from the capacity crowd. In spite of this, Alix is caught with a burst of adrenaline and begins shaking the ropes Ultimate Warrior style! “ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!” the fans sing as Alix runs back to TK and hits a double knee drop onto his stomach! “YEAAAAAAA!” the fans cheer as Alix makes her second pinfall… ONE! TWO! TK gets his foot on the ropes! COLE ThunderKid has to give thanks to the ropes, because they just bailed him out and may have saved his US title. Breathing heavily and with eyes almost glazed over, TK makes an unsteady rise to his feet. Alix sees this and rushes forward to leap over his body with a sunset flip! ONE! TWO! TK rolls himself off the pin, and quickly springs upright. There he stuns Alix with two quick European uppercuts. After a moment to catch his breath, he then throws Alix into the ropes. Unfortunately for him she comes back to bowl him over with a crossbody block! “YEAAAAAAAAA!” Clutching his sore chest, TK comes to his feet once again looking worse for the wear. Alix takes advantage of this by jumping onto his shoulders and wheeling him to the canvas with a hurricanrana. “That’s another peak up my skirt. Ten bucks!” Alix exclaims, she then begins BOUNCING her BUTT on TK’s face “Twenty bucks, thirty bucks, forty bucks, fifty bucks, wooaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!” TK rolls through and finds a pinfall of his own… ONE! TWO! Alix rolls herself free of the jaws of defeat. They both hop upright with TK making a blind charge at the Los Angeles native. But Alix catches onto his arm and sweeps out his leg to drive him downwards with a flatliner! TK hits with a damning thud, his eyes rolling into the back of his head. The fans let out a huge pop, as Alix attempts a pinfall! ONE! TWO! Another kickout by TK! TK grumbles his frustration as both he and Alix make their way off the canvas. She puts him on the defensive fairly quickly, striking at him with a superkick. But the champion grabs onto Alix’s sneaker and drops her to the canvas with an ankle lock! COLE Oh no! Oh no! ThunderKid expects a quick submission, but he gets none of that as Alix easily shifts her body and manages to roll the champion up. COLE Could this be it? ONE! TWO! THREE-NO TK KICKSOUT! The crowd sighes with sadness, having expected that to be the winning pinfall. Both Alix and TK rolls themselves backwards, and stare at each other with sharply focused eyes. TK strikes first nailing her in the stomach with a swift kick. He then hooks her into front facelock, and calls for the ThunderBolt DDT! “BOOOOOO” COACH He’s got it coming, Mikey! Coach spoke too soon as Alix slides her hands through TK’s legs and turns him over into a pinfall… CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! But ThunderKid throws his shoulder off the canvas, putting the crowd in a state of disbelief. COLE ThunderKid could not have been expecting that! TK comes back to his feet, and makes a charge at Alix. Though she tries to side step him, the champion succeeds in capturing her in another front facelock. This time his face holds firm determination as he refuses to meet failure once more. COACH Lightening is getting ready to strike! Once again Alix foils his plans by effortlessly slipping out the hold. Before he can react to her escape, the brown haired cutie coils her arms around his head. From there she somersault forwards and falls down to twist TK’s back and neck to ground in a most painful manner. COLE Confessions of a Kristaholic! Smiling giddily, Alix hooks onto TK’s leg for a pinfall. Now on their feet the audience counts along. CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE!!! DING DING DING “YEAAAAAAAAAAAA!” COLE New champion! New champion! Alix is our new OAOAST United States Champion! TK can’t quite believe what’s happened and complains to the referee over the crushing but fair defeat. BUFFER Your winner as a result of a pinfall and new United States Champion….ALIX MARIA SPEEEZZZZIAAAAAAAA! The fans pour cheers from every corner of the arena in celebration of Alix’s victory. For her part Alix celebrates by chewing on the title. “Do you see that? She’s eating my title!” TK whines to the referee. “There’s chocolate beneath this gold!” She barks back, and continues chewing on the title. “Oh maaaaaan! She’s eating it! She’s eating it! GAH!” COLE Well, for ThunderKid this is a shocking defeat, but for our OAOAST Marks it’s a wonderful event!

I have been on a creative rush latley, I can churn segments out by the hour! THE HOUR! We return from break with a ring filled with the gorgeous girls of the OAOAST, Jade Rodez-Duncan, Maggie Nerdly, Queen Esther, Molly Nerdly, Melody Nerdly, and Melissa Nerdly. On the outside near an apple bobbing tub, sit the judges for the costume contest, Tim Cash, Josh Matthews, and Maya Duncan-Blanchard. Hosting the event is a red rooster dressed Terry Taylor! TERRY TAYLOR Alright, OAOAST Marks, are you ready for the first ever OAOAST Halloween Costume Contest? I bet you are! The boys had their fun on Syndicated now it’s the girls’ turn to get in on the action. Maggie, how about you start off. Wearing a black robe Maggie steps forward. MAGGIE Time to get this contest started right! Ya heard? “YEAAAAAAAAA!” Maggie rips away her robe, revealing her skimpy costume. MAGGIE [IMG=http://i35.tinypic.com/2upv320.gif] TERRY Whooooooo! MAGGIE I'm Krista at her MILFiest! I bet I look as hot as your mom, huh, Jade. You've probably seen her like this, I bet. JADE Far, far, far too many times for my mental health. TERRY This would mark the first time I've seen Krista in her underwear without her poking me in the eye with a fork through the peep hole. Okay, next up we have this….giant cake? Somehow Terry has failed to notice the giant cake sitting between he and Maggie. TERRY Krista must’ve rigged this somehow. I open the top and get swallowed into a dimensional vortex. Or punched out by Chuck Lidell! Well I ain’t afraid of you Iceman! Bring it to me! Bring it to the rooster! I'll slap the taste out your mouth with my cock-a-doodle-doo! LORELEI [IMG=http://images3.hiboox.com/images/3909/74d910df4e475c10bde0adc30466cd81.gif] TERRY Oh wow!!! An impressive costume contest debut, Miss DeCenzo! LORELEI You shouldn’t have expected any less for the Money Honey. TERRY Melissa, why don’t you show us what ya got? MELISSA Obviously you should’ve started with me. But I I can't blame you for your insurmountable shortcomings any more than I can blame a prized heifer for not grasping advanced aeronautics. Save the best for second, and you’ll always come back for seconds. MAGGIE Hey, did you just call youself sloppy seconds? MELISSA No! I just said- MAGGIE It sounds kinda like you’re sloppy seconds. Oh, Reject kicked this chick to the curb, but she’s good for a small coke at Wendy’s and a quick screw in my backseat. That’s what this RAWK chick gets out of it. Ain’t no shame. Better than being thirsty thirds on a lonely Friday night. MELISSA Listen, “homegirl” TERRY Maggie, Melissa- MAGGIE AND MELISSIA SHUT UP! TERRY My feelings! They are has wound! MELISSA Get ready for a show! [IMG=http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y39/Portfree/picklegb2.gif] MOLLY Dear me, Mother let you out the house dressed like that? MAGGIE Hey, I’m still shocked mom even let her out the womb. MELISSA [IMG=http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y39/Portfree/picklegb2.gif] QUEEN ESTHER Oh I just love it to bits and pieces, you’re a Ninja Turtle! How wonderfully charming, Melissa! MELISSA Ninja….tur…..what? Are you blind? I’m a pickle! LORELEI To me, you look like a giant green dildo. Pardon my frankness. MELISSA [IMG=http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y39/Portfree/picklegb2.gif] MAYA I just don't understand why you'd [i]want[/i] to be an oversized pickle MELODY All aboard the fail boat! MAYA Toot toot! MELISSA I don’t have to take any of this from you! You don't appreciate my creativity? Then fine, be like that! I’m out of here! Melissa storms out the ring, talking to herself about the lack of respect shown for her innovative costume. With Melissa out the way, Terry turns to Queen Esther. TERRY And Esther you’ve gone as a maid? QUEEN ESTHER Oh yes, I surely have! I was inspired by the staff at the hotel I am staying it. What a treat they are! Lucius likes to sometimes throw beef paties over the balcony to help provide commoners with something healthy to eat! TERRY Ummm….. QUEEN ESTHER But every once in a while the patties hit the maids on the head! But they don’t complain though. They actually chant incantations….¡los bastardos putrefactos los cogen todos! That’s what they say. It's such a charming thing. MOLLY That’s no incantation, Esther. That’s merely Spanish for “rotten bastards fuck you all.” QUEEN Oh no! I can not take such vulgarities! I...I...I feel as I may faint! TERRY Um….you need some fresh air…try standing on the third rope and see what that'll do for you. QUEEN ESTHER Surely! [IMG=http://i36.tinypic.com/205zhi9.gif] MOLLY How naive! TERRY [img=http://forums.projectcovo.com/images/smilies/thumbsup.gif] TERRY And, Molly what have you gone as? MOLLY Most people would expect me go as a film character or movie star. But tonight I pay homage to the working man and woman! The unsung heros of tomorrow! Those who’s blood sweat and tears provided the life force for this planet. The oppressed proletariat! The downtrodden and the mistreated! The frightened and the bullied! I dress for the freedom of- MAGGIE Yeah, yeah, take it to your commune, Castro. Just tell us what you are! MOLLY Well, I’m a construction worker. TERRY Hmmmmm…..that ring posts has been looking a little loose lately, I see you have tools, could you just drill it in? MOLLY My pleasure! [IMG=http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y39/Portfree/user97_pic1284_1229384385-1.gif] QUEEN ESTHER How naive! TERRY [img=http://forums.projectcovo.com/images/smilies/thumbsup.gif] Molly steps backwards, bringing Jade to the forefront TERRY Jade if you’d do the honors. JADE Sure thing! Jade disrobes to reveal a wonderfully low cut prom dress. JADE I'm a homecoming queen! MAYA (in Jade's voices) I'm only wearing a non skimpy outfit because I'm ashamed of my body! TERRY Don't listen to your little sister. The fact that your mother keeps snipers on me at all hours of the days prevents me from expressing my true appreciation of your costume. JADE Thanks! I think, that’s a thanks. LORELEI Yes, let’s thank him for being one of the few men to gaze at your underdeveloped body. JADE Oh yeah? [IMG=http://i37.tinypic.com/2e169vm.gif] TERRY Now, Lorelei, we’ll have none of that. Melody, how about yourself? Melody rips off her robe to reveal this [img=http://www.ffinsider.net/final-fantasy-7/pix/Yuffie.jpg] TERRY Uh what are you? MELODY OMG, do you even have to ask? LOL at that noob question! Were you living under a rock ten years ago and not playing the greatest playsation game of all time? Final Fantasy VII? Hellooooooooo? Earth to Terry Taylor, come in Terry Taylor, come in. I’m Yuffie! TERRY Knock knock! MELODY Who’s there? TERRY Yuf MELODY Yuf who? TERRY Yuffucked up, your costume sucks! MELODY TO TERRY [IMG=http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y39/Portfree/wGVh8lXY.gif] MAYA That's only the third time this week that's happened to Uncle Terry! Distracting the crowd from the royal beatdown Terry incurs is Christian Wright who steps onto the entrance stage. Wright isn't exactly dressed festively, preferring to stand proud in an Armani three piece suit. "BOOOOOOOO!" COLE Oh great, Christian Wright. The Natural comes to speak. Wright begins walking down the ramp as he speaks, ignoring the protests of the audience. WRIGHT Enough ears have given audience to this lugubrious rollick. It is time those with sets capable of receiving this televisual transmission as well as the gathered assemblage of OAOAST Marks were treated to a speech worthy of all Hallows eve, do you think not. “YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!” the fans chant as CW enters the ring. WRIGHT I suck nothing beyond the air of sweet success that continually swirls around my humble person. But let us return to the subject presented by myself henceforth. MAGGIE What’s the big idea, man? WRIGHT The big idea as you have so rightly put it is an idea based on the core values of human existence. Survival of the fittest. The cold hard logic of Darwin’s theories lives in the very soul of an enlightened being. Me. With each passing victory gained by me in my stunningly profound and shockingly impassioned quest to slay defeat at its very core, I am proving survival of the fittest at its truest most raw moments. My interrupting you is merely little more than an extension of that scientific premise. With the exception of Lorelei, the lot of you trollops and simple gutter slugards, are the weakness consumed in my throughfare to ultimate victory. You mean no more to me than what a gazelle means to a lion. You are but failures, born inferior, to be captured and devoured by the superior specimen of human mastery! Worship the greater lifeform or lie beneath its boot! "BOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Tim Cash has heard enough, and gets up from his judges seat to confront Mister Wright. CASH Mister Wright, I can’t allow you to keep doing what you’re doing. I appreciate that you want time to talk about your winning streak, and I look forward to listening to you do just that. But currently we’re trying to have fun with a costume contest, and we’d appreciate it if you showed us the same respect we’ll show you when its your turn. WRIGHT And who are you to command a god child? CASH Me? I’m only a humble man trying to save you from a clothesline. WRIGHT :huh: Confused Wright turns around, and is smashed in the face by a Baron Windells lariat! The Natural tumbles over the top ropes, and lands inside the apple bobbing tub! Water and fruit flies free of the bucket, pushed out by the superstar that crashes into it. “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Lorelei rushes to CW’s aid, while chastising BW for his sneak attack on CW. The rest of the girls, however, are delighted over CW's ordeal and celebrate with the judges and Baron. COLE It seems everyone is a winner! Or everyone except for the undefeated Christian Wright, who chalks up a loss tonight without even wrestling!

Now I'm that [color="#FF0000"]BITCH[/color] Now I'm that [color="#FF0000"]BITCH[/color] Now I'm that [color="#FF0000"]BITCH[/color] Now I'm that [color="#FF0000"]BITCH[/color] Now I'm that [color="#FF0000"]BITCH[/color] The mash up machine kicks in full blast as Faith No More’s hard driving “Another Body Murder” comes over Livvi Franc’s “Now I’m That Bitch”. The fans rain down jeers as Holly steps into the cemetery. Her attire is that of a plaid red and black skirt, and a purple fishnet top to run over a black bra with skulls on both fronts. She snarls in disgust at the camera and then takes off for the ring. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a TV time limit of thirty minutes. Now making her way to the ring is the challenger, from Sin City, Nevada, she is a former women’s champion and The Angel of Death……HOOOOLLLLLLLLYYYYY! Holly's combat boots stomp up the ring steps and elevate her to the the second turnbuckle. While there she makes a belt motion and offers a smirk to the booing audience. COLE Holly is a former women’s champion and one of the meanest people in the OAOAST, if not the meanest. There is no longer a kind bone in her body. The dizzyingly frantic symbols and the ripping adrenaline of [url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhJ7b4WJ9Ok"]“This Is How I Disappear”[/url] flow into the arena like a volcanic eruption. “OHHHHHHHHHH!” the fans murmur, all to aware of the danger ready to descend upon the arena. COLE Here comes Morgan! [i][color="#00BFFF"][b]GO! To un-explain the unforgivable, Drain all the blood and give the kids a show. By streetlight this dark night, A séance down below. There are things that I have done, You never should ever know! And without you is how I disappear, And live my life alone forever now. And without you is how I disappear, And live my life alone forever now[/b].[/color][/i] Bolts of electricity come screeching down onto the entrance stage and splatter into wild sparks. Every single video screen is filled with flashing beams of electricity. The one exception is the screen that lies above cemetery. It shows the numerous causalities that have marked Morgan’s rampages. The stage is encased in an evil blue light, and is attacked by a final bolt of electricity. As the smoke and sparks fly, the young champion walks onto the stage. She wears a pinstriped booty shorted romper and nervously chews on her hair. Preferring her over Holly or just lik angsty characters, a few fans cheer her arrival. BUFFER And the champion! She comes from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, she is a three time women’s champion….MORGAN NERDLYYYYYYYYY! Morgan stalks down the entry way, her eyes glancing nervously at a crowd that keeps trying to touch and interact with her. COLE Morgan attempting to defend her title against a very fearsome adversary. And we have to wonder will Leon Rodez her, I guess partner, will he finally lay claim to beating Krista after suffering five losses against her since last summer? [i][color="#00BFFF"][b]Can you hear me cry out to you? Words I thought I'd choke on figure out. I'm really not so with you anymore. I'm just a ghost, So I can't hurt you anymore, So I can't hurt you anymore. And now, you wanna see how far down I can sink? Let me go, fuck! So, you can, well now so, you can I'm so far away from you. Well now so, you can[/b].[/color][/i] Morgan gets into the ring and stands on the first rope, while leaning over the second. She casts a quizzical glance at the audience, almost childlike in its odd innocence. DING DING DING Holly and Morgan circle the ring, each with hatred and violence sparked in their eyes. Holly adjusts her black and purple arm bands as her red lips curl into a sneer. Morgan’s face is locked tight into an expression of distrust and malice. But despite this Holly attempts to strike first with a lariat. But Morgan ducks the blow, and as soon as Holly turns around she begins tagging her with punches. COLE Don’t let the small body and cute face fool you. Morgan is as dangerous as they come. The women’s champion attempts to whip Holly into the ropes. But Holly reverses that effort and sends Morgan into the cables. When they spit the little Nerdly girl backwards, Holly overtakes her with an arm drag. Down on the canvas, Morgan is trapped inside an armlock. Holly turns her face towards the crowd and hits them with repulsed type of stare. COLE Holly no fan of our many OAOAST Marks. COACH Who can blame her? They’re called Marks! Mark is another word for dupe, dumbass, fool, sucka and crony. Morgan pushes herself to her feet, but the armlock is still applied. Holly adds further misery by grabbing onto Morgan’s golden hair and yanking it backwards. As the champion’s wide blue eyes stare at her, Holly unleashes a barrage of insults towards Morgan. These jabs, however, give Morgan life and she angrily begins rifiling her bare knees into Holly’s face. At that point Holly hasn’t any choice but to let her go. Morgan takes a moment to catch her breath, bent over with hands on knees. Once recovered she grabs the back of Holly’s fishnet top and launches her into the corner post. Morgan then comes charging towards her, but Holly flicks her elbow out to bat Morgan away. After taking a second to adjust her arm bands, Holly grabs onto Morgan’s arm and hits it with a single arm DDT! COLE Holly delivering that move with precision. COACH She learned from one of the best. Mister Logan Mann of the Heavenly Rockers. The former women’s champion pins the current one… ONE! TWO! But Morgan comes alive to kickout. She tries to stand up on her own will, but on all fours Holly’s steel toed boots kick her directly in her stomach. Morgan falls over to her back, whimpering in agony . Eager to make her feel more pain, Holly stomps at various limbs on her body. She makes extra sure to target Morgan’s arms, and Morgan clutches those limbs as a result. Once finished heaping anguish upon the troubled teenager, Holly grabs onto her arm and lifts her to her feet. But now, Morgan finds a sudden burst of life and begins firing away at Holly’s chest with knife chops. The blows hit so hard that they even tear at the fabric of Holly’s fishnet top. COLE Morgan is going to town on Holly! Look at the energy! Holly eventually does the only thing she can do to end Morgan’s assault; she rakes her bright blue eyes. Morgan stumbles away, screeching in a noise that’s both horror and anger. Holly grins to herself, and then proceeds to strike Morgan’s left arm with strong kicks. COACH Those boots are as hard as a rock, Mikey. You step on Holly’s foot and chances are you’re gonna break your own foot. Holly then grabs Morgan’s arm, twisting it around and finally slamming it on her shoulder. Morgan staggers away, her hand falling to her hurt limb. With the grin reappearing, the ravishing redhead bounces off the cables. But unfortunately for her Morgan platform pumps catch her with a leaping dropkick! Holly tumbles over to the floor and Morgan attempts a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Holly escapes the pinfall. “BOOOOOOOOOO!” Ignoring the crowd’s reaction, The Angel Of Death leaps to her feet and begins trading punches with Morgan. The women’s champion catches Holly by surprise with a spinning back kick that knocks her totally off balance. Morgan whips her pretty hair backwards, before taking out Holly’s leg with a basement dropkick. COLE Morgan is bringing down Holly to her level. Morgan is very petite, and its essential she keep her larger opponents grounded. COACH Ain’t nobody care about that shit. We just trynna enjoy some tities out here, son. COLE Can’t argue with that! Morgan grabs hold of Holly’s slim legs and carefully puts one in each arm. She then falls backwards with a slingshot that lands Holly right into the corner. As Holly struggles to regain her breath and bearings, Morgan runs across the ring and nails Holly in the back of the head with a running knee. She then hooks Holly into an inverted facelock and drives her downwards with an inverted DDT! A pinfall quickly follows… ONE! TWO! A kickout! COLE That was close to being it, this match almost ended, Coach. COACH Better not have, I haven’t fully enjoyed my tities yet. Holly rises to her feet, snarling mad at Morgan’s resurgence. She blocks two left hands from the champion, and then shoves her into the far ropes. Morgan comes back and Holly strikes her in her small stomach. After wiping her cheery hair out her eyes, Holly grabs onto Morgan’s arm and prepares for another single arm DDT. But Morgan rips her arm away from Holly, and takes a run of the ropes. But as she comes back to the viscious vixen, she’s thrown across the ring with an arm drag. COLE Holly is sinisterly targeting Morgan’s arm. COACH What’s so sinister about good strategy? COLE Its just the look in her evil eyes, and the cruelty in her heart. Holly saunters towards Morgan and confirms Cole’s accusations of evil by stomping her HAND! Morgan shrieks at the top of her lungs, in terrible pain from Holly’s cheap shot. The misery continues to come as Holly drops a leg onto the champion’s arm. Laughing over Morgan’s misfortune, Holly casually pins her… ONE! TWO! Morgan raises her sore shoulder off the canvas as fast as she can manage. COLE If that had been Holly’s husband Logan, he’d be 30 seconds in to a raging tirade. Only slightly cooler headed than her husband, Holly springs to her feet with disturbed glare at the referee. She then brings Morgan up by the seet of her booty shorted romper. She leads Morgan towards the corner, and with one violent motion throws her shoulder into the iron posts. While Morgan wails in agony, Holly steps onto the ring apron. While there, she takes Morgan’s skinny arm and repeatedly slams it into the posts. COLE Oh my! This is just horrible to watch. COACH I can see down Morgan’s shirt, and brother, the milk is good! Only when threatened with a disqualification does Holly cease her dirty play. Upon stepping back into the ring, she drags Morgan towards its center and hooks her into a front facelock. Her hands clutch Morgan’s booty romper and then lift her well into the sky. Holly then teeters sideways and crushes Morgan’s wounded arm on the canvas with a sideways suplex. COLE I hate to say it but very innovative offense from The Angel Of Death. Holly lays her arm across Morgan for a pinfall and smokes an imaginary victory cigar…. ONE! TWO! Morgan throws her shoulder off the canvas and screams in pain from doing so. Unsympathetic to her plights, Holly returns to stomping Morgan’s arm. She then pulls Morgan to her feet, and begins twisting her arm very painfully. Once done she slams Morgan’s arms onto her shoulder in an arm stunner. COLE Holly is simply dissecting Morgan right now. Where is that fight we’ve seen from little Morgan so many times? COACH You said the keyword, Morgan is little, very little. A bigger more powerful person can bully her, no problem. And disrobe her, hint hint. Holly takes to the ropes and rushes back to BE NAILED WITH A DIVING LARIAT FROM MORGAN! COLE Holly wasn’t expecting that! COACH Neither was I! Morgan got go and make me look all foolish as hell. Holly is quick towards her feet, and her red lips part to express seething rage. She charges towards Morgan only to be overtaken by a hurricanrana! Both lovely ladies come to their feet, and Holly makes another dash. But this time she’s cut down by a running high knee from the champion. Morgan then puts herself off the ropes, and comes back to land a knee drop onto Holly’s head. A pinfall is then attempted…. ONE! TWO Holly kicksout the pinfall. The Angel Of Death is quickly to her feet, and is thrown under a barrage of punches form Morgan’s good arm. Not willing to be beaten to a pulp, Holly pushes Morgan away. Morgan promptly comes back, leading Holly to nail her with a back elbow. With Morgan reeling, Holly is able to latch onto her arm and throw her down to the canvas with an arm drag. Morgan tries to scamper away but is caught inside an armlock from the former women’s champion. COLE This could be a match ending submission right here. Who knows how much more Morgan’s arm can take. Morgan cries in agony, tears ripping down her cheeks. This is all a splendid sight to Holly, who laughes at Morgan’s misfortunes. COLE Holly honestly may be seconds away from winning the women's title. Morgan begins rallying herself to fight out the hold. Even with the immense pain she fights hard and furious in an effort to escape. Eventually she’s able to win her freedom and come to her feet. Holly tries to further tighten the hold, but Morgan succeeds in pushing them both closer to the ropes. COLE Both these lovely ladies dangerously close to the edge of the ring. COACH You know you gay when you describe a hot chick as “lovely” With one mighty swing of her free arm Morgan succeeds in throwing them both over the ropes onto the mats bellow. The ladies crash in a heap and both their groans are picked up by ringside mics. COLE Oh my! COACH Oh shit! COLE Language, Mister Coachman. Despite being on the defensive Holly is first to her feet with stomps aimed at Morgan’s badly hurt arm. “ONE!” The referee begins his count. “TWO”! Holly scrapes Morgan’s limp body off the mats and proceeds to chuck her into the guardrail. “THREE!” “FOUR!” Holly continues her violent stomping of Morgan’s limbs. “FIVE!” Ignoring the count in the background, Holly pulls Morgan away from the guardrail. COLE Holly has got to beware of the rising count. “SIX!” The Angel Of Death then fires Morgan into the steel steps. Morgan again screams in pain as the anguish spreads through her entire body. “SEVEN! “EIGHT!” Chuckling to herself, Holly tosses Morgan into the ring. She then tries to follow her foe back into the squared circle. However, Morgan’s leg flashes out and her heels push Holly away! “NINE!” Fuming with a hateful fury, Holly makes another dive for the ring. But once again Morgan somehow manages to swat her away with a flick of her legs. Holly falls backwards to the ground, barely able to get herself up in time to beat the ten count. She makes a dash for a part of the ring Morgan isn’t on. But she’s too late and the referee’s count reaches ten! DING DING DING DING “No! No! No! No!” Holly yells, her body halfway in the ring. BUFFER Your winner and still women’s champion as a result of a countout…..MORGAN NERDLY! Holly pounds the mat in frustration, “Unbelievable!“