Patty O'Green

Elsewhere in Josie’s office, the HeldDOWN boss is engaged in an argument with women’s champion Sophie. JOSIE Well, I don’t care what you say. SOPHIE Pourquoi? JOSIE Because you’re biased, and I’m objective. SOPHIE Vous n'êtes pas objectif! JOSIE I won’t argue with you, Sophie. You’re facing a very dangerous opponent, and I need someone to keep you safe. SOPHIE But Lorelei is not that someone! JOSIE I think she is, that’s why I made her guest referee of your title match at Angleslam. She’s very angry at Morgan for leaving her, as twisted as their relationship may be. She won’t let Morgan hurt you in anyway, she wants you to win. For selfish reasons, but they meet my ultimate goal, so I have no reason to question them. SOPHIE I want to do this on my own. JOSIE Not an option. Without Lorelei there, I don’t know what would happen. She can keep you safe. No further debate, Sophie, this is how its going to be. COLE Wow! Lorelei DeCenzo guest referee for the women's title match at Angleslam?! That's explosive that's what that is! LATER TONIGHT BITTER BLOOD COLOMBIAN HEAT VS REJECT TONIGHT! COMMERCIAL

COLE Folks, welcome back to HeldDOWN~! Earlier this week, I had the opportunity to sit down and talk with the number one contender to the OAOAST World Title, the Battlebowl winner, Leon Rodez. What resulted was a candid interview, from a very changed man. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ EARLIER THIS WEEK On a dark, cold set-up in an OAOAST studio, three chairs sit. One of Michael Cole, not looking particularly comfortable with his assignment. As opposite him sits Leon Rodez in one chair, a dark and cold look on his face to match the surroundings. And in the chair next to him, curled up protectively, is an unnervingly timid looking Morgan Nerdly. COLE Leon, thank you for taking this time to talk to us. Barely responding to the pleasantries, Leon stares back. COLE Firstly I have to ask... what is the relationship that's been developing here lately between yourself and Morgan? Leon looks over at Morgan, who shies away a little. LEON Our relationship is what it is. Yet people seem to feel it needs some kind of explanation. Morgan leans a little closer to Leon, who continues staring right ahead. LEON See I've heard all the whispers and all the accusations, about how this is just another Nerdly to add to my collection. The wits of this company. It's nothing like that. The base emotions that everybody else feels, they don't matter anymore. What this is is very simple. It's like the old saying goes, misery loves company. COLE Some people claim you're doing this to compensate in some way for the people you've alienated. LEON I didn't alienate anyone, Michael. They alienated me. People don't 'understand' why I'm not the same Leon they knew. People don't 'understand' the way Morgan feels inside. And they look at us like there's something wrong, because they're the "normal people", for whom life is bliss. Blissful ignorence. There is no bliss. Our eyes are open to what's going on. And we can't close them, no matter how much we want to. People like us need to stick together. To help each other exist. Because the world is against us. We stick together... then that's one less against to deal with. Lifting her head up, Morgan speaks very quietly and very deliberately. MORGAN Leon helps me understand myself. I've spent my life waiting. for something to make sense. What he says makes sense. LEON See, she sees life for what it truly is. Because she's lived with the same cruel fates that I have. Life has already slapped this girl down, through no fault of her own, time and time and time again. Just like it did me. Her sisters ripped out her heart, just like they did mine. She's been used and manipulated by people she trusted, just like I have. She understands me and I understand her. It's as simple as that. As Leon scowls and slumps back in his chair, Cole attempts to change the subject. COLE Let's talk about what happened last week. It was Krista taking on D*LUX in a Handicap Match, with yourself as the special guest enforcer. You seemed to be tormenting all three during the match. And then afterwards, you sickeningly attacked the World Champion. LEON There's a double standard in this company. In this business. Any time Krista steps into a wrestling ring, she's fair game. She's been competing for years now. Humiliating, torturing people, people who let her. Robbing people of their dignity. Ruining their lives and enjoying every second of their pain and misery. Yet one bad thing happens to her, and suddenly she becomes a simple woman again. And anyone who hurts her back is an inhuman monster. That just doesn't make any sense to me. It's people like you who feed this. You're enablers for Krista, to do what she does. To make her feel like she can get away with this. So maybe you can explain, Michael. Maybe you can explain all of this. Am I supposed to feel remorse? Am I supposed to feel worried about karma, for the bad things I've done? TELL ME HOW I'M SUPPOSED TO FEEL! Because I don't know anymore. All I know is, I want to see Krista suffer. The way she makes other people suffer. The way she made me suffer. Leon turns over to Morgan. LEON It's people like Krista who made this girl's life hell. Taunting. Teasing. Humiliating. With no care for the emotional scars they're leaving. Sighing, Leon runs a hand through his hair. LEON Krista wrecks people's lives. And for that, she deserves everything she gets. If there were any justice in the world, she'd already have gotten hers long ago. But I know there isn't. That's not going to stop me though, from doing my damndest to rip out her soul and leave her a broken, emotionless ghost inside her own body if I can! To feel the way I feel. To feel the way I felt on June 2nd. At AngleSlam, I'm going to take that OAOAST World Title away from her again. And I don't care what lengths I have to go to, what lines I'm deemed to have stepped over. Krista is going to know what it feels like to die a little inside.

I may do Synth vs Krista for the world title, all depends if I'm in a match writing mood.

Brought to you by American Express Taped: Recently First air date: More recently Announce team: Tony Schiavone and Jesse "The Body" Ventura Lead corespondent: Tony Brannigan Theme song: (link now works!) As I feel bad for HeldDOWN~! being delayed by my personal life, I present to you a star studded Syndicated. Christian Wright, Bohemoth, and Mister Dick all in action on this Syndicated! ***Christian Wright Vs The Eskimo Kid*** Tired of repeating the same dull cycle every week, Wright decided to introduce a fun and unique gimmick to the match. That gimmick was blindfolds…blindfolds for Eskimo Kid only. Wright explained this was all part of paying dues and if EK won, he’d pay him $10,000 of Theodore Moneymaker’s money. Jesse noted that could build a lot of igloos. Apparently EK agreed as he accepted the stipulation. What he also accepted was a hellish ass whopping from The Natural who smoked him within two minutes and left him laying with The Wright Off (sky high) Winner: Christian Wright, via pinfall Post match lead broadcast correspondent Tony Brannigan asked why Wright continued to request matches with EK, after he’s continually squashed him. Wright’s answer was simple “a pauper must know his place in front of kings.” MAGGIE NERDLY VS MELISSA NERDLY CHALLENGE NUMBER 2! BATTING CAGES! A batting cage was set up near the entrance stage, where Detective Bosley, an avid baseball fan, ran the competition. Despite her small size Maggie Nerdly managed to hit the ball with power, going 8 for ten. Even the chauvinistic Bosley was impressed. Melissa did equally as well, going for 9 for 9. But before the tenth ball was thrown she turned around to taunt Maggie over impending victory. This was rather unwise as a baseball hit her in the back of the head! Due to being unable to continue, Melissa squandered her victory as it was awarded to Maggie. NERDLY CHALLENGER SCORE: Maggie-2 Melissa-0 ***Biff Atlas Vs Mister Dick W/Malaysia*** There were a great deal of “BIFF” chants early in the match which led to Mister Dick wondering why the fans cheered a “freak retard that thinks he’s superman” as opposed to “a legendary collegiate athlete” Taking exception to MD’s comments, Biff clotheslined him directly out the ring. The two men brawled for sometime, exchanging stiff and heavy shots. When the action returned to the ring Biff took some control over the contest. But that was short lived thanks to a stiff kick from Mister Dick. MD beat him down powerful strikes, and almost got a pinfall from the Pure Penetration. Even though things looked firmly in control for MD, United States champion ThunderKid made his way down to ringside to “aid” his stable mate. This help consisted of tossing the belt towards MD, but it was easily intercepted by Biff. With the referee distracted by TK, Biff laid out MD with the belt. At that point TK oddly retreated up the ramp, and the ref was able to count the three for the shocking win! The crowd exploded from delight over the massive upset. Winner: Biff Atlas (!!!!!), via pinfall. After the return from commercial break we found Mister Dick being calmed down by Malaysia and talked out of confronting ThunderKid. Imagine that, Malaysia as the voice of reason. Elsewhere backstage James Blonde was gloating to the Can-Am Assassins that he had one hell of a victory party scheduled for he and Landon Maddix after Blonde won his bout against Bohemoth. Blonde said he had paid 500 bucks to rent out a local booth for he and Landon alone, and that he even paid for a luxury suite in the arena for Landon to watch his incredible victory. The CAA’s tried to convience Blonde not to count his chickens before they hatched, but there was no getting through to the Vancouver native. OAOAST Question and Answer!! What performer without a world title reign to their name will be the next the champion? Cole: Bohemoth is an amazing performer with championship credentials. Charlie Moss: My money is on the big man, Bohemoth Tony Brannigan: Gotta give it to a fellow Texas boy, Mister Dick. He’s come close this year, and I think its only a matter of time before he lives up to his potential. Jesse Ventura: Its only a matter of time before Reject gets that itch to use his money in the bank contract. Theodore Moneymaker: BWAHHAAAAA who else but Christian Wright? ***Bohemoth Vs James Blonde*** Perhaps Bo underestimated Blonde’s ability, because the Canadian was able to own the first several minutes of the contest. But once Bo warmed up and started taking JB seriously he was a force almost unstoppable by Blonde. The big man threw his foe about the ring as though he were as light as a paper clip. Worse yet, he bent Blonde as though he were a paper clip. The Trendsetter eventually took over the contest, having found success in working over Bo’s knees. But that only carried him so far, and Bo’s strength found him a strong advantage. Bo cruised to an easy victory with the Erotic Awakening of Bohemoth. Winner: Bohemoth, via pinfall

Solid squash match. Using the LKOS to jump the OCC was a smart move by 149. Most people probably didn't expect that would happen. Tony did you ever think the Nerdly family would get as big as it got when you first created MARV and MEL the Fanboys? Shit did you even think MARV and MEL would wind up being cool skaters and not wrestling obsessed dweebs? KC did a fine job on this skit, dare I say heel Leon > face leon. He's certainly being incredibly entertaining thus far. You may think its Alf, but it could be anyone! Anyone! Could be a swerve to trick the lot of ya. Not Patty, Patty stays alert. Funny skit with Landon and Esther. KC did a good job writing the queen. And a solid follow up match. Didn't expect the CAE/CS to pick up the win. Good to see Melody out there. Could they be getting their 8 man title shots come Angleslam. How come no one has used the angleslam booking thread. You are all fools. Big huge fools! Very, very interesting skit with Reject and Heat. That looked like EWC's handiwork, so the boy is back in town. We're operating at nearly full strength again! Will we see Reject Vs PRL at AS? That'd be a great match to have on the show. I will pat myself on the back and say that my graphics have greatly enhanced the shill center. Onward to victory!

"Oh (hey!), I've been travelin' on this road too long Just tryin' to find my way back home But the old me's dead and gone Dead and gone And oh (hey!), I've been travelin' on this road too long Just tryin' to find my way back home But the old me's dead and gone Dead and gone, dead and gone..." COLE Main event time! “Dead and Gone” is replaced by Linkin Patk’s smash hit “Numb”, but the heavy storm of boos remains strong and constant. Leon Rodez, dressed in black denim and a purple polo shirt, steps out onto the stage. Behind him a visibly trembling Morgan, wearing a blue and white stripped shirt and black pants, stands. Rodez snorts at the jeering audience, almost daring them to come confront him with their anger. He frowns at their cowardice as he grabs Morgan by the wrist and guides her from the stage. BUFFER The following match is a handicap match scheduled for one fall with a time limit of forty minutes. Now making his way to the ring being accompanied by Morgan Nerdly he is the special guest enforcer and two time world champion…LEEEEEEEOOOOOON ROOOOOOODEEEEEEEEZ! Boos come at Leon from every corner of the arena. His response is cold and tasteless; he spits in direction of the fans, and even goes as far as to slap a drink out of one fans’ hands. "I'VE BECOME SO NUMB I CAN'T FEEL YOU THERE BECOME SO TIRED SO MUCH MORE AWARE! I'M BECOMING THIS ALL I WANT TO DO IS BE MORE LIKE ME AND BE LESS LIKE YOU!" Leon and Morgan take their place at ringside where the former world champion encounters a hot blast of venom from the fans. He responds once more by spitting in their direction, and even offers to face several of them in a bonus match after the mainevent. Such a challenge from such a accomplished fighter silences several of the fans. COLE August 31st, the date the master manipulator Leon Rodez gets his rematch for the world title, also the same night Morgan Nerdly aims for her second women’s title. But first tonight, Leon intends on tearing a family apart and fracturing a friendship. “Makes Me Wonder” comes over the arena sound system, and then is nearly drowned out by the shriek of teenage girls. Stepping onto, the stage with unusually solemn expressions, are the denim clad boys of D*LUX. Wearing faces that make D*LUX’s expression look like ultimate joy, are Jade and Maya. The youngest of the two, Maya tries to pep up the group but fails miserably. BUFFER On the way to the ring, from the state of Michigan. Being accompanied by their manager, JADE RODEZ-DUNCAN and apprentice-manager, MAYA DUNCAN BLANCHARD! Total combined weight, three hundred, seventy nine pounds... the team of "TREMENDOUS" TYLER and "SHOWTIME" SHAYNE... D*LLLLLLLUUUUUUUUUUUXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” the girls scream, but there’s no acknowledgement from the somber group. On the outside Leon responds to their arrival with a hard and menacing stare. Morgan only stands behind him, her eyes locked onto the ground barely regarding D*LUX’s arrival. COLE The nerve of Leon Rodez, the master manipulator to even look at these four after what he’s done. Bottom line Leon Rodez is a scumbag. COACH What? Leon Rodez got us this wild, awesome mainevent, and you wanna talk trash. Would you rather see Biff versus Los Diablos as your mainevent. Of course you would, ol fruit booty nigga. There’s a massive pop from the Memphis crowd, who are exuberant to see their world champion. The stage floor becomes a multi coloured dance floor, as girls dressed in funky 80’s attire of denim jackets, leg warmers and heavy makeup dance a seducing ballet. Emerging from the back in SERIOUS RASSLIN ATTIRE of a purple tube top, and purple bell bottoms with rhinestones forming the shape of roses down the front, is the fitness queen, Krista Isadora Duncan. BUFFER From Los Angeles, California…she is a New York Times best selling author, a Hollywood Walk of Famer, CEO of FIT with KID, a four time tag team champion, the 2009 wrestler of the year…YOUR WORLD CHAMPION MISS CALIFORNIA KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAAAAAAAN! Krista strolls down ring side with the pomp and gait that only a Hollywood megastar can bring. She meets her girls with a friendly wave, but any amiable thoughts disappear when she turns her eyes on Leon. Only the strongest of self control can keep her from lashing out at her hated foe. COLE Absolutely no rest for Krista. Coming off a brutal first blood match, followed by a tough title defense against Malaysia, and now a handicap match against a team on the upswing. There’s no way Krista is at one hundred percent. Krista’s smoldering rage over Leon causes her to forget her rope hanging trick, and instead she enters the ring without taking her cold eyes off her Angleslam opponent. COLE I’m not sure what to make of Leon at ringside as special guest enforcer. COACH That makes six of you because Maya, Jade, Krista, and D*LUX don’t know either. DING DING DING COLE Match is underway and we could be in for some fireworks. Shayne decides to start for his squad, getting an encouraging pat on the back from Tyler. Together he and Krista circle each other, each keeping one eye on the distrustful Leon. Finally they step into each other for a lockup. The lockup only lasts for a few seconds as Krista is thrown over to the ground by an arm drag. This gets tepid and meek applause from the Duncan children. Shayne keeps an eye on the stone faced Leon as he moves over to Krista. He brings her up by her thick blond locks, only to drop to his knees and flip her over his body with a fireman’s carry. Miss California attempts to scramble towards her feet, but Shayne traps her arm within his for an armbar. “LET’S GO KRISTA! LET’S GO KRISTA! LET’S GO KRISTA!” the fans chant, and Maya softly goes along with the song. Shayne’s submission isn’t quite secure enough to keep Krista down, and thus she begins a quick rise towards her feet. But Showtime keeps her under control by smashing a boot into her collar bone. Miss California angrily fights back with a pair of punches into Shayne’s stomach. But he ends her assault by grabbing her into a headlock. That headlock is rather short, thanks to Krista shoving Shayne away. He lands against the ropes, which lets Tyler make a blind tag. Brave comes back with a rolling lariat. But Krista performs a roll herself and slips beneath the strike. Unfortunately as she recoils upward Bryant is flying forward with a spring board hurricanarana. However, Miss California combats this by leaping upwards and striking her foe in the stomach with a dropkick. The teeny bopper suffers through a crash landing that has the audience and the two Duncan girls wincing. With Tyler dealt with for the moment, Krista picks up Shayne and throws him through the ring ropes. He comes down on the outside mat, clutching his shoulder from his awful landing. But things continue to worsen for Brave; Leon picks him up and casually tosses him into the steel steps. “Hey!” Maya shrieks, “What was that for?” Leon answers not to the booing crowd nor to D*LUX’s assistant manager. Instead he returns to his position next to Morgan with his callous expression still on his face. COLE Totally uncalled for action by Leon Rodez. COACH He’s the guest enforcer, he has to enforce things how he sees fit. COLE So its fit to throw an innocent kid into the steel steps? Meanwhile in the ring, Bryant is pushing himself off the ropes. Krita leap frogs him as he nears, and his run is continued. He returns with a lariat, but Krista avoids it and comes behind him to grab onto the back of his neck. She leaps onto the second rope, and then moonsaults backwards to violently jerk his neck and spike his head into the canvas. Quickly she tries a pin…. ONE! TWO! Leon puts Tyler’s foot on the ropes! COLE What is he doing!? COACH Mind games, Mikey, all mind games. You called him the master manipulator, well that’s what he’s doing. Exhausted, Tyler slides out the ring in hopes of catching his breath. He meets up with Shayne and the two converse in a strategy session. “Maya, Jade, earmuffs!” Krista barks and the obedient girls cover their ears with their hands. “Look tweddle dee and tweedle gay, you can debate which Jonas Brother you’d like to have in a threesome, but I have things to do…like threesomes!” Growing more annoyed over D*LUX’s stalling, Krista leaps over the ropes, frightening the two boys. Fortunately for them Krista was merely psyching them out and she throws herself back into the ring. COLE You want to talk about mindgames, Tyler and Shayne were sent running! While Shayne and Tyler attempt to regain their breath, Krista moves to the top rope. “Normally I’m not fond of diving headfirst into possible paralyzation, but hey, you only live once, right girls” Krista comments, and then leaps from the ropes to roll into a double rotation shooting star press before she even gets to the ground. Upon nearing D*LUX she uncurls her entire body and takes them both out with double lariats! “HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!” the Memphis fans chant, as the Duncan girls look on with worry for the safety of all three. Leon, however, only stares blankly at the mass of carnage. COLE Oh my! A double rotation shooting star lariat! COACH Just like you said last week, Krista’s matches go full speed from start to finish. Krista is first to her feet. Although a little sore from such a death defying move, she manages to slide her way back into the ring. She climbs up the turnbuckles once more, which excites the sold out audience. But any aerial move she’s planned is put on hold by Leon heading towards her direction. “Oh look its Leon Rodez, I hardly recognized you without corny jokes and forced laughter from the audience.” She quips. But while that comment may offend Leon, it grants Tyler the time needed to run up the ropes and nail her with a knee. Krista is slung backwards, coming down with a hard landing that causes large concern from her two daughters. COLE Leon Rodez providing that distraction, and continuing his mind games. In my opinion he has no business and no reason to be out here. COACH His business is torture and his reason is pain. Giving credence to what Coach claims Leon puts steel toed boots to Krista’s wounded body. “BOOOOOOOOOO!” the fans hiss as Maya complains to ringside officials about his behavior. Jade begins marching over to confront the two time world champion, but Leon throws her mother into the ring. He walks away innocently with Jade’s eyes beating down on him like searing sun rays. Inside the ring, Tyler attempts a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Krista kicks out and the fans are able to breathe sighs of relief. “LET’S GO MOMLUX! LET’S GO MOMLUX! LET’S GO MOMLUX!” Maya shouts, trying to remain as impartial as possible. Tyler picks Krista off the canvas by her arm. He uses that same grip to twist her arm into knots. While Krista groans in pain, Bryant makes the tag with Brave. The handsome youngster makes his way onto the top turnbuckle. After a quick nod to a few young girls in the front row, Brave flies forward legs extended and smashes Krista’s arm with a leg drop! A pinfall is counted by Earl Hebner… ONE! TWO! Once again Krista pushes herself out the pin. “LET’S GO KRISTA! LET’S GO KRISTA! LET’S GO KRISTA!” Slightly jealous of the chants his foe receives, Brave pulls Krista off the mat. His hands fall around her slender waist, and he tucks his head between her arms. All that enables him to lift Krista up for a back suplex. But the super agile champion flips out! Landing easily on her heels, she’s able to grab onto Shayne’s arm before he can even realize his move failed. “Stop hitting yourself, stop hitting yourself, stop hitting yourself” She nags as Shayne is repeatedly punched by his own hand. However, Krista’s trickery comes to an end at the disapproving looks coming for her daughters. Miss California meekly releases Shayne’s arms and pulls him down into a school boy… ONE! TWO! Leon pulls Krista's foot and disrupts the pin! This most certainly stirs up Krista’s rage, and she marches towards the edge of the ring to challenge Rodez. But before she can issue that, Shayne leaps onto her back and then falls forwards to curl her up in a victory roll! ONE! TWO! Krista makes another daring pinfall escape. Daring, I say! While Krista orients herself after that dizzying move, Brave retreats to his corner to tag in Bryant. The Tremendous One looks for encouragement from his two managers, but finds only small smiles hiding solemn demeanors. He’s now forced to provide his own motivation, and claps his hands as he enters the ring. His arms come around Krista’s neck, taking her downed body in some sort of chinlock. The pain is immediate, and Krista is forced to grit her teeth almost into dust to endure it. Bryant keeps wringing her neck, hoping for a quick submission. But none is on the horizion, as Krista uses all her strength to keep herself from submitting. On the outside Leon watches with narrowed hardened eyes, almost trying will Krista to quit, while Morgan stares vacantly at the action. “LET’S GO KRISTA! LET’S GO KRISTA! LET’S GO KRISTA!” Tyler increases the pain of the hold and decreases the possibility of escape by pinning Krista’s arm behind his. This would be enough to possibly grant Tyler a submission, but his distraction is snatched away by Leon climbing onto the ring apron. Confusion and worry tear apart his grip, and soon Krista is able to do the same. She hammers at him fast and fiery punches which enable her to begin stepping upright. Several more blows to his ribs effectively free her from the hold. Wasting no time to catch her breath, femme fatale makes a run for the ropes. As she returns she leaps towards Bryant with a hurricanrana in mind. But the former HI-YAH champion counters by grabbing hold of her ten million dollar legs and spinning around to strike her with a sitout powerbomb. The referee gets into position to count the ensuing pinfall… ONE! TWO! Krista’s shoulder comes off the canvas. “YEAAAAAAAAA!” the OAOAST Marks scream, whereas Jade and Maya just wish this excruciating match would end soon. COLE So far D*LUX have performed admirably in contrast to their miserable outing against Chicks Over Dicks. COACH They’ve performed so well because there’s one less person. If Alix where here it’d be a different outcome. Where is Alix anyway? Double C turns and sees Alix at the Japanese announce table. COLE Alix, do you actually speak Japanese? ALIX Neep-nong,ching-song, sewey-wong, cha-cha –choo! COLE We'll be getting some angry e-mails about that. While the announce team questions Alix’s bilingual capabilities, Bryant switches places with his tag team partner. Getting a fair amount of cheers from teenage girls all across the arena, Brave gives them a thumbs up. Less enduring to the crowd and his managerial team are the stomps he lays into Krista’s exposed back. He quickly cuts short the brutal pummeling and traps Krista inside a camel clutch. COLE Submissions aren’t something we usually see from D*LUX, but I understand they’ve been training with Team Heyross, who have taught them some good holds. COACH The only thing a submission hold is good for is getting a bitch into bed. Brave jerks Krista, doing an inordinate amount of damage to her neck. She cries out in distress. It’s a cry that fills her daughter’s hearts with worry, yet they try to be positive for Shayne. He keeps tugging at Krista’s chin, yanking her head in cruel and unnatural ways. But the sweat on his hands causes his grip to slip ever so slightly , and its just enough for Krista to begin fighting back up. Elbows and punches into Shayne’s slim stomach help her fight through the hold. But control is retained by Showtime as he strikes her gorgeous face with a raised knee. Moving fast to catch her while she’s stunned, Brave runs to the turnbuckles. He bounds up them with remarkable speed and uses them to throw himself and a dropkick towards Krista. Krista is pushed over and lands on her shoulder on the canvas. Brave figures he’s finished the match with his high flying attack and makes a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Krista’s shoulders come off the canvas, inciting the fans’ passion and leading them to cheer her on. “LET’S GO KRISTA! LET’S GO KRISTA! LET’S GO KRISTA!” Brave scoops the fitness queen up and traps her inside a sleeper hold. COLE A very unusual set of moves from D*LUX, we don’t know them to be grounded superstars. COACH Mikey, they could’ve figured they couldn’t hang with Krista’s speed and tricks, so they needed to keep her feet on the ground and her mouth shut. So far these holds seem to be what works. Krista sags lower to the canvas, her hair falling in front of her face like a wet mop. Through the strands of sweat drenched hair, Krista is able to spot Leon, looking at her like a scientist observing a lab rat. Though Leon provides the motivation for escape, the way isn’t so easily found. Brave continues to cause her incredible torment with his hold. The hold hurts with a burning type of anguish and the fitness queen desperately tries to be free. The fans return to singing her name, while her daughters can barely manage to watch much more of this bout. COLE The OAOAST Marks showing their support for our world champion! COACH Who says wrestling fans have good taste? The support of the Memphis faithful is a stupendous aid to Krista. With all her power and might, she summons the will and way to push herself upright. Realizing that his hold is soon to fail him, Brave switches her into a front facelock. He then leaps into the air and swings around in hopes of completing a tornado DDT. But all he finds is failure as the California hottie shoves him into the nearest corner. Krista quickly charges in after him, taking to the skies with a double knee strike nearly takes his skull off. COLE What a HARD shot by the champ! Brave staggers out of the corner, checking his face for any severe bruises or blood. His medical checkup comes to a quick end, as Krista attempts to irish whip him into the ropes. But Shayne reverses the hold and Krista goes running into the cables. He hits the floor, thinking she’ll leap over him. However his judgement is in error, as Krista comes skidding to a halt. “Nope, I’ve read this story before, I know how it ends.” She comments and then kicks Brave directly in the jaw! She’d continue doing such a fun activity if it weren’t for her daughters casting her concerned glances. Due to their misgivings Krista ceases stomping in order to haul Shayne upright. She throws him to the ropes, however her own run of the ropes causes her to miss the blind tag by Bryant. But a new boy bander presents her little problem as her well insured legs latch across his shoulders and spin him for a wild ride. She eventually swirls to his front, where her arm captures his head and she sits out for a devastating stunner! “YEAAAAAAAAA!” COLE On Syndicated Terry Taylor said Krista may be the best athlete in the OAOAST- COACH Hold it right there, Mikey. You know if he said otherwise she’d shoot him with a pellet gun. Krista attempts a pinfall, while keeping a close eye on Leon and Morgan. ONE! TWO! Shoulder off the canvas! Krista runs her hands through her hair as her jaw drops in disbelief. Frustrated with Brave’s kickout, she pulls out lipstick from her top, and prepares to scribble something incendiary on his forehead. But once again her two girls prevent her from properly humiliating D*LUX. Instead she has to pull Brave into a side front facelock. “I call this the Confessions of a Kristaholic. Its got a tacky name, its untested and possibly dangerous. Who wouldn’t want to give it a go?” She wonders aloud and then starts the spin for her version of the moonlight drive. But Shayne slips his way out of the untested finisher. Next he lifts Krista onto her shoulders and drives her backwards with a punishing Samoan drop! He leans backwards, draping his arm across her for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Leon puts Krista’s foot on the ropes! This draws harsh stares from Maya and Jade who have grown annoyed with his meddling. Shayne can only weakly scold him, having no effect on the somber former champion, who siddles up beside Morgan and watches the match coldly. COLE Now what? One minute Leon's actively preventing Krista from winning the match and then he's sabotaging D*LUX... does he even know what he wants? COACH He knows what he wants alright. To keep this match going. The longer it goes, the more all three, plus Jade and Maya, have to suffer. COLE That's a pretty soulless motive if you ask me. COACH Never said it wasn't soulless, just calling it how I sees it. Breaking himself away from Leon, Shayne moves to his corner and tags Tyler Bryant back into the match. The teen idol gets a large pop from the girls in the stands, but his focus remain solely on capturing victory. He rushes towards Krista as she begins to rise, and raises his leg for a yakuza kick. But Krista shocks both he and his managers by leaping upward and striking him down with a heel kick. Miss California then pushes herself off the ropes, timing it so that he comes back to Bryant as he begins to sit up. He’s violently shoved back down by a vicious running knee from the world champion. This draws a gigantic cheer from the stands and the fans count along with the pinfall… CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE! But the fans were much too premature and Bryant kicks out the hold. Krista takes a chunk of his messy unkempt hair and leads him off the canvas. She dazes and wounds him with a series of knife edge chops. Weakened by those strikes, Bryant is unable to prevent his foe from rushing to the ropes. She flips backwards with a moonsault press, but Bryant sidesteps just enough that’s he’s able to force her descending figure to land across his left shoulder. Without a moment’s hesitation he drills her skull into the rock hard canvas with a michonoku driver! The fans are left speechless, most fearing for Krista’s health, others amazed by unexpected counter. Even Tyler must take a moment’s time out, breath heavy, messy hair drenched with sweat. After a small recovery, he hooks Krista’s leg for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Krista kicks out of the pinfall! “YEAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans chant, while Leon shakes his head at her continued fighting spirit. COLE I think Leon would have been happy if this had ended right there. Now Leon sees who he’s fighting, someone that won’t take a loss without a hell of a fight. Both competitors rise to their feet at the same moment, each looking tired and bone weary. Bryant attempts to draw first blood with a lariat, but Krista avoids it. This almost causes Bryant to suffer a nasty collision with the ring posts. But he leaps onto the third rope and then springs backwards with a twisting cross body block. However, Krista leaps up to greet him, tucking her knees against his chest. Together they crash into the mat at the hands of the KIDology! “YEAAAAAAAAAA!” the fans scream, while the Duncan girls exchange worried looks. Krista attempts a crucial pinfall…. CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! LEON PULLS KRISTA OUT THE RING! COLE OH COME ON! ALIX Neep nong, choi choi, bon-bong, chip-chong! Hands held up, Leon backs 'innocently' away from Krista as if he did nothing wrong. With a vengeful look on her face Krista picks herself up and wheels around, ready to go after Leon, but finds Morgan Nerdly standing in front of him. COLE And now Leon, hiding behind Morgan! Krista would be wise not to get involved, because there's no telling what that young girl is capable of! The crowd urge Krista on in the background, to do what she does best, hurt people. Krista is wary of getting on the wrong side of a shaking Morgan though and restricts herself to threats before climbing back into the ring. Seeing Tyler still down, Leon decides he doesn't want Krista back inside and pushes Morgan towards her. But before Morgan can act, Krista kicks out and fells Morgan with a heel to the jaw! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COACH There she goes again, hurting innocent victims! COLE That was instinctive and nothing more. Krista pulls herself away from the distractions on the outside and grips onto the top rope ready to sling herself back inside. Over runs Shayne to cut her off though. Catching Krista under the arm he attempts to hiptoss her back into the ring, the hard way. But Krista somersaults onto her feet and punches Shayne right in the nose! "Ow, my nose!" squeaks Krista, trying to convince everyone it was Shayne rather than bad ventriloquism. Grabbing hold of Shayne's wrist, the World Champion attempts an irish whip, but is reversed. Shayne springs up off the canvas with a leapfrog, which Krista easily navigates, unaware she's falling right into their trap. As soon as she's safely under Shayne, Tyler springs out from the sidelines and lifts the unprepared Miss California up onto his shoulders. Tyler walks into the middle of the ring, as Shayne comes off the ropes, snaring Krista's head and delivering the Neckbreaker/Samoan Drop combo!! COLE Rock Your Body! Are we going to see a huge victory here? Tyler reaches back and hooks on Krista's leg tightly... ONE! TWO! KICKOUT!! Jade and Maya continue not to know how to react and just stand uncomfortably watching. COLE Not enough just yet, but D*LUX may be about to put the finishing touches on here. COACH And write Jade and Maya out of the inheritence in the process. Waiting for Krista to return to her feet, D*LUX take aim... ...and crack her with stereo Superkicks!! Krista gets rocked backwards by the force of the kicks and ends up hung over the top rope, a vacant look in her eyes. Sensing their opportunity, D*LUX rush forward and look to pounce. But Krista surprises them by pulling down the top rope, causing both Tyler and Shayne to tumble over and out to the arena floor!! COACH Oh, ye of too much faith. Once humiliated goofs, always humiliated goofs. Tyler and Shayne pull themselves out of their heap on the floor, wondering what happened. As they go to climb back into the ring, they're left wondering the same thing again, as they're suddenly attacked from behind by THE HEAVENLY ROCKERS!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" COLE Wait a minute! What the hell is this!? COACH It's justice for Holly! FREE THE VEGAS ONE! FREE THE VEGAS ONE!! *DINGDINGDING* As soon as the referee spots the attack he calls for the bell, throwing the match out. Logan and Synth club away at Tyler and Shayne, with Abdullah in the background ranting and shouting for vengeance. D*LUX try to rally and fight back, breaking out into a slugest with The HR that spills down the aisleway. The referee looks to Leon, to help enforce, but Leon just stands with his arms folded neglecting to get involved, forcing the ref to leave the ring to try and break things up. Out come a couple more referees, while Jade jogs off to try and help control D*LUX. COLE This one has been thrown out and I think Krista is blissfully unaware. Or blissfully uncaring. With her back to the fight Krista pulls out her compact mirror, taking a moment to check her hair while D*LUX are on the outside. Out of sight behind her, Morgan Nerdly emerges and slowly slides into the ring. COLE Uh-oh... wait a minute! Wait a minute! Morgan creeps into the ring, a scowl on her face from having been kicked moments earlier. She gets to her feet and starts to creep up behind Krista, her right hand shaking... but Krista suddenly spots a figure in the background of her reflection in the mirror and jumps out of her skin! Krista turns around and catches Morgan red-handed, causing her to freeze in shock. She points a finger at the young Nerdly girl and starts to make a move towards her, which Morgan freaks at. "GET BACK!" she suddenly shrieks, getting a sudden 'surge' of confidence. "DON'T YOU TAKE ANOTHER STEP!!" The cracking voice tips Krista off that this girl is deadly serious and she stops, not seeing Leon Rodez sliding into the ring behind her! COLE Look out, from behind! Screams echo out of the crowd and Krista senses something is up, so turns around... *SMASH!* ...AND LEON SMASHES HER RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES WITH THE COMPACT MIRROR!!!!!! "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" COLE OH, GOD! Krista drops to the mat covering her face as Leon looms over her with a cold expression. COLE Son of a bitch! He hit her right in the face, that glass could have gone into Krista eyes!! COACH That's seven years of well-earned bad luck for ya! Hearing the smash of glass, Maya sees her Mom down and slides into the ring to check on her. Luckily, Leon decides to leave at this point. Morgan obediently follows, Leon clasping a hand on her shoulder and dragging his young acquaintance away from the ring before she can do anything more. "FUCK YOU LE - ON!" "FUCK YOU LE - ON!" "FUCK YOU LE - ON!" Backing away from the ring with Morgan in tow, Leon looks on at the kicking feet of an agonised Krista. He stops at the bottom of the aisle, staring at what he's done, without the faintest hint of a smile, but clearly no remorse. COLE Are there any depths that Leon Rodez will not go to anymore? He'd just better hope that this depth was far enough. Because otherwise, there might be hell to pay for this! Leon and Morgan continue to slowly back away, leaving Maya tending to her mother as HeldDOWN fades out.

PRESENTED IN HD FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY -OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT- COLE Welcome folks to Memphis for OAOAST HeldDOWN~! The show so hot it doesn't even have a set time slot! I am Michael Cole joined as always by Johnathan Coachman. COACH Big night, Mikey. COLE Indeed and explosive mainevent signed with Krista Isadora Duncan our world champion set to face off against her daughters' twm D*LUX with number one contender Leon Rodez out as special guest enforcer. I can not wait for that one. Right now lets send things over to Michael Buffer. BUFFER The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall. Currently in the ring, the team of RAY ANTHONY and STEVIE KEITH! Your typical jobbers, Anthony and Keith play heel. COLE Wait until you hear this ovation. “Scream” by Chris Cornell hits and the crowd ERUPTS. BUFFER And their opponents, accompanied by MOLLY NERDLY… from Orange County, California, total combine weight 460 pounds, the 2009 Anderson Cup champions… SIMON SINGLETON and NED BLANCHARD... THE ORANGE COUNTY COOOOBRAS!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Once inside the vests come off and the bell sounds. * DINGDINGDING * Ray grabs a side headlock on Simon and is quickly shoved off into the ropes. Simon hip tosses Ray on the rebound, then delivers a standing dropkick. The O.C. Cobras tag and Simon executes a drop toehold as Ned drives the ELBOW into the back of the head! COLE Beautiful double-team work right there. COACH I want to see them do that against V.I.C.E. COLE You’ll get your chance to see that Monday night, August 31 at Angleslam. Ned rams Joe into the top buckle, then STOMPS A MUDHOLE AND WALKS IT DRY! Back elbow levels Ray and he tags out. His partner Stevie Keith isn’t anymore successful. Ned makes short work of him and tags Simon. DOUBLE FEATURE FLAPJACK is the prelude to THE ATOMIC BLOND (Rocket Launcher)!!! The cover. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Here are your winners… THE ORANGE COUNTY COOOOBRAS!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Before their hands can be raised in victory the O.C. Cobras are suddenly attacked by THE LAST KINGS OF SCOTLAND! COLE What is this? Scottish Scott dumps Simon outside and POSTS him! He rejoins Danny inside and the Last Kings plant Ned mid-ring with a FLAPJACK, then perform the HIGHLAND FAREWELL not once, not twice, but THREE TIMES!!! MOLLY COLE Somebody stop this, damn it! THEODORE MONEYMAKER appears onstage with QUEEN ESTHER. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Oh, now I get it. Theodore Moneymaker put a hit on Ned Blanchard! It was one week ago he vowed to make those he believes cost him the World title pay. Everybody but himself. COACH Well, Ned did interfere in the World title match at the Chi-Town Spectacular. Teddy was on the verge of victory when he got involved. COLE Get yourself a towel. You got brown stuff on your nose. Moneymaker hands Esther an ENVELOP and then heads for the ring. Once there he removes his coat, rolls up his sleeves and PAINTBRUSHES NED! MONEYMAKER His mission accomplished, Moneymaker rolls the sleeves down, puts the coat back on and casually returns backstage like nothing happened.

FROM THE GOSSIP SPEWED DAILY ON THE OAOAST HOT NEWZLINE, THIS IS HOT HOT… HOT NEWZ~! As usual, Tony Brannigan mans the anchor desk inside the Hot Newsroom. BRANNIGAN Hi again, everyone. Tony Brannigan here with the following piece of Hot News: Due to the events that transpired earlier tonight, the originally scheduled V.I.C.E./Orange County Cobras tag bout at Angleslam will now be… ANGLESLAM THEODORE MONEYMAKER & CHRISTIAN WRIGHT vs. THE ORANGE COUNTY COBRAS BRANNIGAN OAOAST President Josie Baker making the ruling just minutes ago. In addition, the Last Kings of Scotland have been fined an undisclosed amount for their role in all this. I’m sure Simon Singleton and Ned Blanchard will like to get their hands on them at some point. Right now their sights are set on former Enterprise associates Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright, who they defeated earlier in the year to win the 2009 Anderson Cup. You can bet Moneymaker and Wright haven’t forgotten about that. Also in store for you Monday night, August 31st. ANGLESLAM ‘09 OAOAST TAG TITLES, LDC MONEYGANG VS TEAM HEYROSS OAOAST WOMEN’S TITLE, SOPHIE GREY VS MORGA NERDLY OAOAST WORLD TITLE, KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN VS LEON RODEZ PLUS SO MUCH MORE! LIVE! MONDAY NIGHT, AUGUST 31st EXCLUSIVELY ON PAY-PER-VIEW! BRANNIGAN (off-screen) Beat the heat this summer with Angleslam! COMING UP NEXT THE MAINEVENT KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN VS D*LUX NEXT ON HeldDOWN~! COLE Welcome back, fans. Since its inception, the OAOAST has been notorious for swerves, twists and turns. Alliances are fractured as soon as they are formed. Backstabbing and treachery has become the norm, especially with cliques like the Deadly Alliance, Cucaracha Internacional, The Enterprise, and even those of yesteryear, such as The Trinit or the aWo. Still, it seemed that the one constant, the one thing that seemed to never stray, was Zack Malibu's dedication to this company and the people. Though he has worn the black hat in the past, Zack soon returned to his regular ways, however it is his recent actions that have the OAOAST and his fans fearing he's too far gone. What has happened to Zack Malibu in recent months is not an impulsive change in attitude, but rather one that has been building inside him for years. For those of you who heard Zack last week, he claims that we've taken him for granted. That he's given it all to us, but that we have given him nothing in return. The first victim of Zack's channelled rage was Todd Cortez, the Urban Legend, who came into the OAOAST from the SWF on Zack's behalf, only to turn him, along with Bruce Blank and Bloodshed. It was that group, known as The Wildcards, who commited one of the most heinous acts in wrestling history, as they broke into Zack Malibu's home and accosted not only his girlfriend Candie, a former competitor here in the OAOAST, but Zack's then newborn baby daughter. It was an act that anyone who saw it would never forget, let alone to the family that it happened to. Now, some 3 years later, Bruce Blank was vanquished back Zack years ago, Bloodshed was beaten and forced out of the company, but the last splinter of the group, Todd Cortez, remained. Cortez swore off his allegiances to his former comrades, stating that he was misled by them, and he would make it up to the OAOAST for his past actions. He has become one of our most intense, exicting competitors thru nothing except sheer hard work and dedication, shades of Zack Malibu. Of late, Todd has been targeted by the newcomer Tommy G., a brutal brawler who has stopped at nothing to make his life a living hell, for what appears to be no reason in particular. Both men have been recuperating from their vicious street fight at the Chi-Town Spectacular, but we have gotten word that at Angleslam, Todd Cortez will return to the ring and go one on one with a man he thought was his friend...Zack Malibu. We understand that Zack and Anglesault are going to... "Getting Away With Murder" hits, and Michael Cole freezes in mid-ring, as the anthem that once brought them to their feet now draws boos. The man who went rapidly from Most Popular to Most Hated heads down the aisle, followed by his friend Anglesault, both men looking more serious than they ever have. Zack gets into the ring, and the first thing he does is grabs Michael Cole by the lapels of his suit jacket, backing him into a corner. MALIBU What are you doing, Cole, huh? Is this your plea? Is this you begging on behalf of all this people for the Old Zack to come back? I've got news for you, Cole, you will NEVER see the weak, pathetic, pushover Zack Malibu AGAIN. COLE Zack, I...I... MALIBU What, Cole? Spit it out! Are you afraid? Are you afraid that you might have your ass kicked once again by someone on this roster? Are you afraid that it's me? The same guy you used to hound to let you into The In Crowd, the same guy who saved you from aWo beatings, the same guy who saved your job a half a dozen times because you were one FedEx package away from a pink slip? I've done enough for you, and I've done enough to you. As far as I'm concerned, I don't need to waste my time with you anymore, so get the hell out of my ring! Zack snags the mic, then shoves Cole down, kicking him out of the ring under the bottom rope, as the fans jeer loudly. MALIBU Go ahead and boo, but like I said before, you people are hypocrites! You live in a fantasy world where your vision of honesty is really just what you want to hear. You don't want the horrible truth. You people sit in your shells where everything is fine. You get laid off, but you still spend your last dollar on a fancy shirt or sports car because you want to be noticed. You hear gunshots in your area, but you let your children run free outside because something bad could never happen to you. You people make me SICK, because instead of the honesty, instead of the truth, you live a life of lies. When I come to you and prove to you that everything you think is right is really wrong, what do you do? You turn on me! The crowd starts booing loudly. MALIBU I'll say it again. YOU TURNED ON ME! I did NOT turn my back on you people. You people are quick to forgive, quick to forget, and quick to jump onto the next big thing so that you can be given a quick fix. I have tried for years to satisfy you, and to no avail. The sacrifices I've made mean NOTHING to you people. I've missed my daughter's first words, her first steps, time with my family and my friends all so I could keep this company alive, and what do I get? SPIT ON. I was so blind to it...I was just like you, until someone opened my eyes to it. The one man who has always been there when I needed him. When they were ready to fire me and have charges pressed for me pulling a gun on Bruce Blank in this ring, ANGLESAULT was there for me, while you people sat and waited just to see what would happen next. When Drek Stone was tearing this company apart, when people like Popick and CWM and Some Guy and the GPX all went missing and all gave up, ANGLESAULT was right there alongside me. We are the ONLY CONSTANT here, we are the DRIVING FORCE of this company, and you people in the seats, and those of you in the back need to respect that! Malibu pauses, and all of a sudden, TOMMY G. appears on the ANGLETRON! TOMMY G. Hey, Malibu. Zack and Anglesault turn and glance at the screen, surprised at the newcomers interruption. TOMMY G. Let me get a few things out of the way. First off, I didn't need your help at the Chi-Town Spectacular. My thing with Cortez, that's MY deal, not anyone else's. Secondly, now that you did it, you got in my business. That's nothing something I can take lightly. MALIBU Help you? I didn't do it for you, Tommy, I did that for myself. You were just lucky enough to reap the benefits of it. TOMMY G. Luck? I don't base my career on luck. Right now, as far as I'm concerned, YOU'RE the lucky one, because both of your kneecaps are still intact. MALIBU Are you threatening me? TOMMY G. No threats here, Zack. Just a bit of friendly advice. You might have gotten the suit over there to give you Cortez at AngleSlam, but I'm not finished with him yet. As for you, I'm not finished with you either. I'll be seeing you soon, Zack. REAL soon. The feed cuts out, and Malibu and Anglesault remain in the ring. MALIBU That's what I'm talking about. Here we go again with another person trying to make a name for themself at my expense! You know what, if Tommy G. wants to come on out here and man up, he would have been here, but instead, he's somewhere else licking his wounds from the street fight. You know what tough guy, you show up here and I'll...OOOOF! That's the sound that echoes over the microphone as Malibu is tackled to the canvas by a fan who has hopped the rail! The fan starts wailing on Zack, and Anglesault waves security on, moving in to pry the person off of Zack himself...and it's TODD CORTEZ THAT HE PULLS TO HIS FEET! COLE IT'S THE URBAN LEGEND! A HUGE POP goes up, as Cortez swats everyone away that comes at him, and hits a running kick to the side of Zack's head as he's getting up! He starts beating on Zack, but Malibu uses a double leg and takes him down, then HE'S the one on top punching away! COACH This is crazy! Anglesault tries to lead the charge to break it up, but when the two men comes to their feet, Cortez shoves Anglesault away! Furious, Anglesault grabs a nightstick from one of the police offers, but Cortez sees him coming and delivers a sidekick that sends Anglesault flying through the ropes to the floor! Zack is up and charges in, but Todd Cortez grabs him by the throat, then plants him with the URBAN ASSAULT~! COLE He took them both out! The fans are ROARING, and the police quickly huddle around Cortez, who tears off his wifebeater and throws it into the crowd, working his arms up and own and sending the fans into a frenzy. The cops head up the aisleway, keeping Cortez from coming back into the ring, as Anglesault rolls in and checks on Malibu. He helps a groggy Zack to his feet, and shouts threats at Cortez, telling he he's just signed his death warrant. Cortez urges them to bring it on and tries to get back down to the ring, but the police force keep him at bay, until Cortez walks into the back. COLE Holy...I don't even have words for what we just saw! Todd Cortez has it in for Zack Malibu, and we will see that match at Angleslam, and now it also appears that Zack Malibu has drawn the ire of Tommy G.! COACH Zack's on everyone's bad side these days, and it's all for being a straight up kinda guy. Cortez better check himself though, because if he lets his emotions overtake him, he's gonna get beaten worse than Zack's already been planning on!

sandman in action!

Backstage Alix and Krista are joined at the interview area by their longtime stooge and lackey, Terry Taylor. TAYLOR Girls its tensions and emotions are running high tonight. ALIX Hey, there’s no way Christian Wright could’ve known that hooker had syphilis. No way at all! TAYLOR That’s not…well not exactly what I meant, although prostitutes can be tricky and cunning with their STDS. Trust me one time in Portland- KRISTA What I think you’re meaning to say is what do I think of Leon Rodez as special guest enforcer in my match tonight. Leon Rodez, Leon Rodez, I love him much the same way a cigarette smoker loves looming lung cancer and talking out a voice box like that guy on South Park. I don’t claim to be the smartest girl in the whole wide world. ALIX Yes you do, you’re even wearing a shirt that says “I claim to be the smartest girl in the whole wide world” KRISTA Oh. Fancy that. Well, even with the private school education my parents spent millions of dollars on only so I could join a company with two male strippers and a homeless man amongst its employees, I for the life of me just can’t figure out why Leon was allowed to be guest enforcer. Perhaps I’m living in a fantasy nightmare world where good is bad, bad is good, and Reese Witherspoon movies don’t bore me to tears. But if I am on earth, a special guest enforcer is supposed to uphold justice, truth and honor. ALIX Just like Harry on Night Court. KRISTA Great show, should be on DVD. Now Lee-Lee hasn’t been the most just man in our little corner of hell. He’s sneak attacked his former friend, violently turned on his former best friend, neglected and ignored his two hanger ons, has brain washed Morgan Nerdly into following him, attempted to ruin his niece’s life, and he wears a singlet. A singlet! It looks like a 1920’s bathing suit! Its an insult to fashion, to the Christian lord and savoir Jesus Christ, and its an insult mankind as a species. Does any of this sound like the qualifications for someone who’s supposed to be upholding justice? This makes as much sense as making Dante Stallworth the president of mothers against drunk driving! ALIX A sports reference. Oh my god, Krista, could you be any more butch? I’ve seen dudes named Butch, less butch than you! KRISTA Shouldn’t you be somewhere inside a closet not annoying me? ALIX Locking my self in the janitor’s closet, sir! Conviently enough there’s a janitor’s closet directly behind Alix. The bubbly brunette happily steps inside it and locks it to prevent her unwelcome escape. ALIX If I squint real hard this mop looks like Whoppi Goldberg! Sister Act 2 was DA BIGGITY BIGGITY BOOOMMBBBBBBB! KRISTA ….. TERRY …. KRISTA ….. TERRY ….. KRISTA Um…..I think the most insufferable thing about this contest besides having to be within 20 feet of satan’s cabana boy Leon, is that Leon actually found the audacity to say he’s doing this so D*LUX can get revenge. Revenge my tight,well tonned and tanned ass! Leon cares about D*LUX as much as a monkey cares about planetary absorption fields. The logic doesn’t even make the slightest bit of sense. My second cousin was attacked by a bear once, it was a lopsided awful fight. We did not say ‘hey that bear took your dignity’, and proceed to place him inside a cage with Yogi and BooBoo. And let’s not even start on his attempt to turn my daughters against me. You’d have to take several magic carpet rides to the fairyland where I don’t blast his ass for that one. You know what, there is one nice thing about this guest enforcer nonsense. It’s a time honored tradition that the enforcer gets physically involved with the match. And once Leon crosses that line, I’m gonna take pleasure in knocking him right back over it.

OAOAST HeldDOWN~! is brought to you by Krista Isadora Duncan or L'Oreal Returning from the break, the ring is filled with men. The Queen's Men, busy psyching themselves up, while their Queen sits relaxed on the arena floor, occassionally waving to her subjects in the crowd. BUFFER The following eight man tag team contest is scheduled for one fall. In the ring, accompanied by QUEEN ESTHER! Total combined weight, eight hundred and fourty six pounds... DANNY BOY and SCOTTISH SCOTT, THE LAST KINGS OF SCOTLAND... "SWEET" LUCIUS SOUL and RICO DE JANIERO, THE MARDI GRAS HELLFIRE CLUB... they are ALL THE QUUUUEEEEEEEEEEENN'SSSS MMMEEEEEEENN!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Queen Esther covers her ears at the sudden crudeness of the fans. COLE Eight man tag team action here on HeldDOWN and I'm being joined, co-incidentally enough, by one fourth of the OAOAST 8-Man Tag Team Champions Landon Maddix. MADDIX I prefer 'leader', but thank you. COLE And I guess you're out here, scouting for future challengers. MADDIX Absolutely. These belts are prestigious belts and they deserve the best challengers possible, not least because as prestigious champions we really need some better competition. Perhaps on cue, "Thriller" by Fallout Boy hits. Red and blue lights splash across the stage as Baron Windels heads out with the hook 'em horns held high! Either side of him rush MARV and MEL, The Christ Air Express, hitting their leaping double high-five and jogging to the ring. And after gentlemanly allowing Melody Nerdly to enter ahead of him, Tim Cash excitedly fist pumps his approval to the crowd. BUFFER And their opponents! At a total combined weight of eight hundred and fifty five pounds. They are accompanied to the ring by MELODY NERDLY. First, the team of TIM CASH and BARON WINDELS, they are CITIZEN SOLDIERS... and their partners, MARV and MEL, THE CHRIST AAAIIIIIIRRR... EEEXXXPPRRREEEEEESSSSSSSS!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!" MARV and MEL stand on opposite turnbuckles and fire up the crowd as they toss their jackets to the outside. Moments later Baron and Cash slide in and things threaten to break down between them and The Last Kings Of Scotland, the Scots still bitter after what happened last week. COLE MARV and MEL of course won those titles from Cucaracha Internacional, back when they were still the 6-Man Titles they started out as. MADDIX Yeah but that hardly counts. COLE So now the lineage is worthless, as well as the giant 6s on the belts? MADDIX Do you see a six on this belt? COLE No, but that's because your's is the belt with SWF etched on it... MADDIX Let's not get caught up in these semantics. Melody gets her troops together and goes over the strategy. The cameras are more focused on Queen Esther, who once she realises she's on camera says hello to the, quote, "people of television land". *DINGDINGDING* Tim Cash starts things off with Lucius Soul. Unsurprisingly, Wrestling's Last Real Good Guy tries to get things off on the right foot with a handshake. And just as unsurprisingly, Soul rejects it. Slapping Cash's hand away, he asks if Cash is "buggin'", before dishing out a PIMPSLAP!! "OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE That's no way to treat a lady and it's no way to treat a gentleman either. Getting fired up, Cash surprises Soul with a fireman's carry takeover. Soul gets back up and is caught with a second fireman's carry. Cash then goes for a third, but instead of flipping Soul over he lifts him up and does three AIRPLANE SPIN revolutions before dumping him down! Lucius quickly rolls to his corner and tags out, while the Queen comes over all dizzy on the outside. In steps Scottish Scott, who fares no better, running right into a fireman's carry of his own. COLE The history between Citizen Soldiers and The Last Kings Of Scotland well documented, Baron and Cash getting what seemed to be the last word in that war last week. Cash controls Scott with a wristlock and tags in MEL. Coming off the top with an axehandle, MEL takes over on the arm. MEL then whips Scott off and connects with a standing dropkick. Cover... 1... 2... No! Another quick tag is made, this time to MARV. The twin brothers wait for Scottish Scott to get back up and catch him with a double inverted atomic drop. MARV hits the ropes and is launched into the air by MEL, coming down with a dropkick onto the Scotsman! Cover again... 1... 2... Kickout by Scott, who quickly gets out by tagging Rico. Rico slows things down, thoughtfully stroking his porn 'stache. COLE The Christ Air Express and Citizen Soldiers looking good in the early going, are you open to giving them a shot at your 8-man titles? MADDIX We're open to any challenge and we have been all along. I've said it a dozen times, Cucaracha Internacional, the strongest unit in the OAOAST, there's no four man team, four person team, whatever, that has the combined skills we have. Rico swaggers in and squares up to MARV. A lock-up is easily won by Rico, shoving MARV down to the mat, to applause from his team-mates. MARV tries again, but is again thrown down with ease. Rico smirks a sleazy smirk and flexes his bicep to add insult to injury. The smirk is wiped from the Brazilian's face though the moment MARV tags in Baron Windels. COLE Rico might not have such an easy time throwing around this big Texan steed. Not so confident about his biceps now, Rico is psyched up by Lucius who convinces him he's got what it takes. Baron and a hesitant Rico lock up and Rico tries to shove Baron off, but he doesn't budge. Rico tries again, same result. And tired of playing around, Baron throws Rico down on his Brazilian flag emblazoned ass! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COLE And Baron Windels wins the battle of the bulls! MADDIX He wouldn't be doing that to Faqu, that's for damn sure. Rico jumps back to his feet, embarrassed and runs at Baron, who scoops him up with a body slam! Lucius runs in and gets a body slam as well! Body slam on Danny Boy! And a body slam on Scottish Scott! Coming in to even the odds a little, MARV and MEL clothesline The Last Kings Of Scotland outside, while Baron throws Lucius up and over the top. Turning his attentions back to Rico, Baron hooks him down with a flying lariat and goes for the pin... 1... 2... Kickout! Climbing to the top, Baron looks for the trademark Clobberin' lariat. But Lucius suddenly springs onto the apron and pulls Baron's leg, crotching him on the top rope!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" MADDIX That's what a good team needs, awareness. You've got to look out for each other. COLE Well Lucius was certainly looking out for his Mardi Gras party partner there. With Cash trying to point the rulebreaking out to the referee, Baron is pulled off of the turnbuckles and thrown into the Queen's corner. And she claps away as her men put the boots to Baron, four on one in the corner. COLE Apparantly seeing a man being quadruple teamed with kicks doesn't go against Queen Esther's idillic view of the world. MADDIX Well, that's because her team are winning. COLE ...can't argue with that logic. Once the referee turns around, Scottish Scott is back in legally and uses a four count to choke Baron with his boot before pulling him back up. Sent to the ropes, Baron is felled with a clothesline and covered... 1... 2... No! Scott traps Baron in a chinlock to prevent the tag, his partners and Melody trying to rally the crowd. COLE What do you make of the Queen and her Men, Landon? MADDIX They're looking good right now. I like the dynamic they've got going. Four guys, all pulling in the same direction to please their leader. COLE And you think you can relate to that? MADDIX Well, I wouldn't like to compare myself to the lovely Queen... for many reasons... but you get the point. As Baron fights to his feet, Scott adjusts into a front facelock and moves to his corner. Tagging himself in Lucius quickly scales to the top and drops an axehandle to Baron's exposed back. Lucius then tags Baron with a couple of right hands before attempting an irish whip. Baron reverses on the stone cold pimp and tries to lay him stone cold out with a Big Boot, but Soul ducks and catches Baron with a spinning heel kick as he turns around! 1... 2... Kickout! Finding himself in the wrong corner, Baron makes a move to get the tag... and Lucius dives at the leg, holding on long enough for Rico to lay him out from behind! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" As MARV and MEL come in to complain, The Hellfire Club drag Baron away and Lucius is able to take over with a chinlock. MADDIX There you go again, looking out for your partners. COLE You sound impressed by All The Queen's Men. MADDIX I am. They're no Cucaracha Internacional, don't get me wrong, but they've got a certain j'ne pas. COLE J'ne sais quoi? MADDIX Bless you. Melody urges the crowd to make some noise and Baron's partners slap the turnbuckles, trying to get Baron back in the game. The Lone Star Gunslinger fights back up again and starts firing shots to the midsection of Lucius. The Black Knight shrugs them off, kneeing Baron in the gut. He turns and hits the ropes, but gets caught going for a crossbody and is thrown with the Devil's Addiction fallaway slam!! COLE Power from Baron! Landing near his corner, Lucius is able to reach up and tag in Danny Boy. Looking to cut off the tag he closes the distance and gets between Baron and his corner, before throwing a clothesline. But Baron ducks and MAKES THE TAG!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Tag made, in comes Tim Cash! Climbing to the top, Cash waits as Baron boots Danny Boy in the gut, before THROWING Cash off the top onto Danny Boy with a crossbody! COLE And what a way to come in! 1... 2... Kickout. Scottish Scott runs in late to make the save, making up for it by grabbing Cash and holding him for Danny Boy. COLE Uh-oh. Playing some pre-emptive air bagpipes, Danny Boy charges, but Cash gets his foot up to the chest and blocks. Cash breaks free of Scott's grip, reaching back and flipping him with a judo throw. Before giving the Scots the DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER~! Scott and Danny Boy stagger around, to find MARV and MEL up top, waiting, nailing them with STEREO MISSILE DROPKICKS FROM THE SAME TURNBUCKLE!! COLE MARV and MEL, together as one! In comes Rico, looking for a double clothesline on the CAE. They duck under and Rico runs into a dropkick from Tim. COLE The pace starting to quicken and The Queen's Men are struggling to keep up. Rico rolls to the outside and right where The Christ Air Express want him. Getting the crowd a-clapping, MARV and MEL come off the ropes... AND MARV HITS A SOMERSAULT PLANCHA... ...WHILE MEL RUNS BACK AND CATCHES LUCIUS WITH A SURPRISE SUICIDE DIVE!!!!! COLE Bodies flying at all angles! MADDIX This is great action but it's not pinning anyone or making them submit. Looking to change that, Cash trips up Danny Boy and slaps on the Texas Cloverleaf! COLE This might though, Midwest Sling! Cash nods his head, but suddenly gets hooked and DDTed by Scottish Scott! Dragging his partner over, Scott dumps him on top and gets out of the way of the pinfall, clubbing his chest proudly... "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" 1... 2... KICKOUT! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" Stomping back over, Scott pulls Cash back up. He clubs him in the back frustratedly, before setting him in a standing headscissors. COLE Looking for a piledriver here, one of Scottish Scott's pet moves. MADDIX Pet move? Has he not been around long enough yet for it to be vintage? Scott struggles to get Cash up, kicking his legs to fight up. The Scot then looks up in horror, as Baron Windels flies off the top with the Flying Lariat!! MELODY IT'S CLOBBERIN' TIME!! QUEEN ESTHER Once he realises where he is, right in front of his opponent's feet, Cash reaches down and puts the Midwest Sling on Scottish Scott. COLE Submission applied again, somebody needs to get in to make a save. Queen Esther feels the same thing, appealing for a kind knight to come to her man's rescue. Unfortunately, Rico and Lucius are busy on the floor with MARV and MEL, while Baron is slugging away at Danny Boy. So, left with no other option, Queen Esther climbs onto the apron (which with her ballgown is no easy feat). COLE Wait a minute, the Queen with a royal interruption! MADDIX She must have seen a pixie or something. The referee orders the Queen to get off the apron, but gets a helping hand from Melody Nerdly, who pulls her to the floor!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" The Queen lands with a thud on her derrierre and although her ballgown gives her plenty of padding, she's AGHAST at being womanhandled. Meanwhile, in the ring, Scottish Scott can take no more and with Danny Boy held at bay, he taps out!! *DINGDINGDING!* COLE Two weeks in a row for Citizen Soldiers over the Scots and victory in this eight man tag team match! Cash lets go of the hold in gentlemanly fashion and congratulates Baron, as Danny Boy lays despairingly on the mat. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winners of the match, the team of THE CHRIST AIR EXPRESS and CITIZEN SOLDIERS!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" Melody and her twin brothers all slide in to join in the celebrations, all rather amused as the poor Queen is comforted by her Knights, still sat on the arena floor. COLE So could we have found the next challengers for the World 8-Man Titles, in Citizen Soldiers and The Christ Air Express? They've taken care of their personal business, maybe now they'll be setting their focus on championship gold Landon. MADDIX Well, good luck to them then. Because I saw more than enough tonight to feel very confident. These four showed some signs of speed, some signs of power, a little technical wrestling. Great. Cucaracha Internacional, we've got all that and then some. And math be damned, these two sets of two do not equal our four, guaranteed. COLE Well we may find out some time in the near future. Landon leaves the commentary table, having seen what he needed to see. The celebration continues without him as Melody's team climb the turnbuckles and salute the Memphis crowd. COMMERCIAL “The Wall” by Kansas hits, and The Deadly Alliance makes their way to the ring. Every member of the group has a smirk on his or her face as they enter the ring. Thunderkid makes sure to show off his newly won OAOAST United States Championship belt. COLE The Deadly Alliance is now ‘gracing’ us with their presence. One week removed from their ‘funeral’ for Alfdogg. COACH That was great! The Deadly Alliance has never been better! They are on top of the world right now! Don’t forget that last week, Thunderkid defeated Denzel Spencer to become United States Champion again! Reject grabs the microphone. The Deadly Alliance all stand in the middle of the ring and sneer at the fans. “The Wall” by Kansas dies down. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” REJECT Now, you may think that things are a little bit tense here in The Deadly Alliance after last week. But you people couldn’t be more wrong! Last week was a little argument. Every family has them, and The Deadly Alliance IS a family. So, it was nothing unusual. Mr. Dick and myself have straighten things out and we are back on the same wavelength! Mr. Dick nods in agreement with Reject. The fans boo the fact that Reject and Mr. Dick are talking again. COACH Phew. REJECT Now we can focus on what we want again. Namely, TOTAL domination of the OAOAST. I am Mr. Money In The Bank, and believe me, the time will come sooner or later when I cash in my Money In The Bank contract and become, after all these years, the One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Champion for the first time EVER! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” REJECT We still, STILL have the OAOAST Heartland Champion, going on two years now, in Sandman9000! Sandman9000 eyes the crowd. The crowd boos. REJECT We have the NEW OAOAST United States Champion, Thunderkid! Thunderkid raises the OAOAST United States Championship belt. The crowd boos. Thunderkid laughs. REJECT And we will have the NEXT OAOAST Women’s Champion in the lovely Malaysia Nerdly! Malaysia nods, a smirk on her face. The crowd boos. REJECT AND Mr. Dick and Arturas can go after the One And Only World Tag Team Titles, and bring those belts back to The Deadly Alliance! Mr. Dick and Arturas look at each other. They both nod. Mr. Dick mouths, “That could work.” REJECT Regardless, we will soon have EVERY title in the company. Whether you like it or not! If you like it, then show your support! If you don’t, well, pray to whatever God you believe in that you don’t end up bloodied, battered and beaten like Alfdogg! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COACH They got rid of him! They did what nobody else has been able to do! You gotta give them props for that! REJECT The future BELONGS to me, Reject, and The Deadly Alliance! We-- A piano plays a melody, causing the crowd to cheer. The lights go down in the arena, turning back on in tune with the melody. *COME ON!* *BOOM~!* “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE Hey! Wait a minute! Pyro explodes, leaving behind fire that burns on both sides of the entrance stage. “Gasolina (Remix)” by Daddy Yankee featuring Lil’ Jon and Pitbull starts playing. The entrance doors slide open, and Colombian Heat comes out. The crowd cheers louder than before. Heat just walks down the entrance ramp, slapping hands with the fans along the way. COLE Colombian Heat is here! COACH Why? COLE Did you hear what Reject said about Tha Puerto Rican last week? Not to mention Alfdogg was the man who brought Colombian Heat back after being the man who injured him last fall! COACH So? Why is he here? Colombian Heat climbs up the ring steps and hops into the ring. He demands a microphone and gets one from a ringside attendant. The Deadly Alliance all look at Heat, wondering why he is out here. Reject eyes Heat with cruel intentions. COLOMBIAN HEAT A’ight, kill the beat. “Gasolina (Remix)” by Daddy Yankee featuring Lil’ Jon and Pitbull dies down. The crowd cheers loudly. Colombian Heat gets in a face-to-face staredown with Reject. “HEAT!” “HEAT!” “HEAT!” “HEAT!” COLE Reject and Heat staring each other down. So much tension. You can cut it with a knife, folks! COLOMBIAN HEAT Yo, normally, I don’t gives a crap about youse. Youse can say what’cha want, and hang wit whoeva you wants. But what youse said last week…that hit a raw nerve, G! I’s knows that me and Alfdogg aren’t homies 4 life or nothin’ like that. But the dude apologized to me fo’ scarring mah back and axed for mah help in the WarGames. And youse know wot? For him to man up like that, apologize to mah face, yo, that’s something only a REAL man would do! So yeah, Alfdogg gets props from me. “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE Colombian Heat was apart of Alfdogg’s team for WarGames back at The Great Angle Bash in June! COLOMBIAN HEAT And then you, Reject, went ahead and dissed mah fellow Badd Boy, Tha Puerto Rican! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” HEAT Sayin’ how you retired him back in the Money In The Bank Ladder Match at School’s Out, and how he won’t ever return! Reject smiles at this. HEAT Well, lemme tell ya, son, ain’t NO MAN on this planet Earth gonna keep Tha Puerto Rican away from professional wrestling! NO MAN! “YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Reject sneers at Heat. HEAT Infact, I just got off the phone wit him. And he told me to tell all these Lightning Bolts that Tha Puerto Rican WILL return real soon! Sooner than you would expect! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE All right! Tha Puerto Rican’s coming back! COACH Oh crap. And I was just getting used to not hiding from him! No one in The Deadly Alliance is pleased with that news. “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” Colombian Heat leads the “P.R.!” chants! TK tells the fans to shut up. They don’t listen to him. HEAT So, if I were you, I’d watch out for the Lightning Strikes. Because mah boy is gonna make sure that YOU feel the Heat UP IN THIS-- “BI-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHH~!” EULOGY ON COLOMBIAN HEAT~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111 COACH HA! HA! COLE Oh come on now! That wasn’t right! Reject with the DEADLY EULOGY on Colombian Heat! COACH Hey, he deserved it. He was an idiot to think he can get in Reject’s face and not suffer the consequences. The Deadly Alliance do a beatdown on Colombian Heat! The crowd boos loudly. Even Melissa manages to get a few kicks in on Heat! COLE Those BULLIES! This isn’t right! Reject picks up the K.O.’d Colombian Heat and throws him over the top rope and onto the floor! Heat hits the floor with a loud *THUD*! COACH Tossed out like the garbage that he is! COLE Colombian Heat is OUT at the hands of The Deadly Alliance! The Deadly Alliance pose in the ring to boos. Reject picks up a microphone. REJECT Hey Heat, tell your buddy that The Deadly Alliance absolutely cannot wait for him to return! We will all be his welcoming committee! Because for Tha Puerto Rican, things…just…got…DEADLIER! Reject drops the microphone onto the mat and raises his hands in victory. The Deadly Alliance poses in the center of the ring, Thunderkid and Sandman9000 raising their respective belts. “The Wall” by Kansas starts playing. Reject jaws with the fans. COLE The Deadly Alliance sending a message to Tha Puerto Rican by laying out his best friend! Colombian Heat was BRUTALIZED by The Deadly Alliance starting with the Eulogy! COACH Reject surprised the idiot! Not that that was hard to do! COLE I’m sure Tha Puerto Rican will NOT be pleased by what The Deadly Alliance just did to his best friend. The Lightning Bolts are greatly anticipating Tha Puerto Rican’s return, and now, so is The Deadly Alliance. PRL hasn’t returned just yet, but he already has a target on his back! We know now that Tha Puerto Rican WILL DEFINITELY return to the OAOAST! The question is when? FADE OUT COMMERCIALS

Backstage we go, finding ourselves in the presence of a real odd couple in the cafeteria. Landon Maddix, wearing his SWF belt masquarading as an OAOAST 8-Man Tag Team Title belt, is eating some chocolate pudding. Why? Well, he's in the cafeteria and pudding is good. He's also listening intently, to Queen Esther, looking completely out of place in her flowing regal dress. LANDON You know, I can't say as I ever have seen a pixie before. But you make a compelling arguement. ESTHER Oh, you do see the most wonderful things whilst laying amongst the tall meadow grass on a starlit night. LANDON (finishing up his pudding) I'll bet. ESTHER I just love the tranquility. Being amongst all of this hustle and bustle of arenas and public places can get me all of a fluster sometimes, it really can. There are bad people here, too. There's so much good in the untouched world. But here... oh my. Sometimes I weep at what crude sights befall me here. LANDON Well... try to hold it together for now, huh? Landon casually flicks the pudding pot away in the direction of the trash can. It bounces short, which attracts the attention of Jumbo as he passes by the in the background. But after sniffing at the empty pot, he grunts and chucks it away. LANDON Anyway, I've got to get going. Tell Peter Pan I said hi when you see him. ESTHER Oh, I shall! And our arrangement? LANDON Not a problem. Your guys... Esther's brow furrows. LANDON ...sorry, your "gentlemen" win tonight and we'll give you a shot at the titles. ESTHER Oh, great joy! You really are a true prince! Your kindness will not go unrewarded! Leaning forward, Esther plants an air kiss on either of Landon's cheeks before scuttling off gleefully. The camera pans away from Landon, to Megan Skye and Nathaniel Black, who had been watching this a few feet away. BLACK Wonder wot it's like livin' in Dreamland yer'ole life... MEGAN I wouldn't know, he's never told me. COMING UP NEXT FOUR MAN ACTION CHRIST AIR EXPRESS, CITIZEN SOLDIERS VS ALL THE QUEEN'S MEN NEXT! COMMERCIAL

We return from break as Deadbeat Dave pedals down the aisle on his bike. COLE And here's Deadbeat Dave ready for action here on HeldDOWN~! BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, weighing in at 230 pounds...DEADBEAT DAVE! Dave climbs into the ring, snacking on a baggie of Combos. BUFFER His opponent, weighing in at 237 pounds...THE TEAL TIGER! COLE A masked newcomer, the Teal Tiger, the opposition for Dave tonight! Dave and Tiger tie up, and Dave goes to the eyes. He whips the Tiger into the ropes, and floors him with a back elbow, then covers... 1... 2... Kickout! Dave picks up Tiger, and executes a scoop slam. He then backs into the ropes, and looks to drop a knee, but Tiger rolls out of the way! COLE And the Tiger avoiding that kneedrop, let's see if he can follow up! Tiger catches Dave with a BELLY-TO-BELLY~! COACH Wow! COLE Nice suplex by the Tiger! Tiger follows up with a vertical suplex, snapping Dave down hard on his back! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE I'll tell you, this Teal Tiger's got some impressive looking offense! Tiger picks up Dave and backs him into a corner, then delivers a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And another! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! COACH Wait a minute, something's not right here. Tiger brings Dave out of the corner, then backs up a couple steps, and floors him with a superkick! Tiger then heads to the top rope...and delivers a FROG SPLASH~! COLE Beautiful splash! 1... 2... 3!!! *DING DING DING* COLE And the Teal Tiger gets the win! BUFFER The winner of the match...THE TEAL TIGER!!! COACH Something's definitely not right here. COLE All I know was that it was an impressive debut for the Teal Tiger! COACH "Debut" my ass, Cole! Anyone with half a brain can recognize that style! That's gotta be... COLE Folks, we'll be back!

Worried looks backstage, as we find Jade and Maya, the Duncan girls, in a communal area of the arena with D*LUX. The boybanders stand around as if they're waiting for bad news. Except they've already had the bad news and it's only just sinking in. It's sunk in for Jade and Maya though, sat on a production case with glum looks. Until suddenly, Tyler claps his hands and gets everybody's attention. TYLER Come on guys. SHAYNE Huh? TYLER Look, I don't want to do this. But we've got no choice. And if we're gonna have to do this, let's do it right. It's two on one this time. We can win! A cold, awkward silence fills the air. JADE No. There's got to be some way out of it. Suddenly, Maya springs to her feet and sides with D*LUX. Literally. MAYA Maybe Tyler's right. Sooner or later, they had to do something like this. You fall off a horse, you get back on it. Granted, this is a little soon and it's going to be more like remounting a moving horse that's still pissed you were riding it in the first place. But damnit we're humans and we are above horses in the food chain! JADE Or... maybe we could... just ask Mom to take it easy on them or something? MAYA Oh, okay, great idea sis! You want to ask her to take pity on someone in competition for the first time in her life or should I? JADE Well there's no need to be sarcastic. Standing up, Jade gets an idea. JADE You know what, maybe there is something we can do. Jade marches off and unsure of what she meant, D*LUX and Maya follow after her, trying to keep up. Off in the distance, Jade has spotted the bad of her uncle's head. And stomping up behind Leon, she folds her arms as Leon turns around. JADE What the hell is your problem? Getting Josie to make a match between Krista and Tyler and Shayne and you're the 'special enforcer', is this some kind of plan, setting Mom up, setting us all up? Huh? Haven't you done enough lately? Leon takes a step past Jade, revealing that he had been in mid-conversation with Morgan Nerdly. Once Jade spots her glaring eyes, she doesn't seem quite so confrontational. Leon stands in front of Shayne and Tyler, looking at them with contempt. LEON I'd have thought you'd be happy. Look at you two. You used to be someone. You're naive and you're soft, living off of fickle people who don't give a damn whether you live or die so long as they get what they want out of you. But even, then you used to mean something. And now what? You've got two teenage girls fighting your battles for you. And Krista's got whatever balls you had on her trophy case. And I get you a shot... a shot at the person who humiliated you in front of the world and ripped away any shred of dignity you had, two on one, to save a little bit of face and what? You're scared? Scared of what she might do to you? Scared you might upset people!? MAYA What do you care anyway? LEON Pipe down. SHAYNE Hey man, listen... LEON No, YOU listen! She did the same thing to you two that she did to me. And the fact that you can just move on with your lives and not give it a second thought, pretending everything's right in the world makes me SICK to have ever been associated with you two. Leon motions to Morgan goes to walk away, but Tyler blocks his path, with similar disgust on his face looking at his former friend. TYLER What the hell happened to you man? LEON Shit happened. I figured you'd understand. But I guess not. Maybe after tonight, you'll stop listening to these kids, open your eyes and grow up. When you do, let me know. Until then, get the hell out of my sight. Grabbing Morgan's wrist, Leon brushes past Tyler and walks off, D*LUX and their manageresses no better off for their confrontation.

COLE Folks, we could go all day talking about Moneymaker's horrible personality and terrible behavoir but lets get positive because we've got Maggie Nerdly standing by. Maggie? Backstage we find MAGGIE NERDLY With SOPHIE GREY MAGGIE What’s up ya’ll? Maggie Nerdly, It Girl on the scene standing besides women’s champ, Sophie Grey. Soph, you got a big match at Angleslam against my sis Morgan. A lot of peeps are afraid of her, but what’s your head space right now? SOPHIE I am looking forward to the challenge. I have never beaten Morgan one on one, and I am excited to test my skills against her. MAGGIE Yeah, but, my sister is crazy dangerous. You up for that? SOPHIE I’m up for anything. I want to fight the best and defend my title against the best. That’s my goal. MAGGIE If that were true, you’d be fighting me! Heheheh, just kidding around. You aren’t scared of Morgan in any way shape or form? SOPHIE I face my fears head on, and I will brave anything to defend this women’s title. No, I am not afraid of Morgan. LORELEI (OS) Well you should be. Lorelei DeCenzo walks on screen with a callous smirk drawn across her face. MAGGIE Lorelei? LORELEI Step aside Nerdly girl number 10, I have important business to discuss with Mademoiselle Grey. SOPHIE Anything you say to me can be said in front of Maggie. LORELEI Fine, you’re a fool not to be afraid of Morgan. Its as if you haven’t been paying attention to what she’s done since she came here to the OAOAST. Men are still lying in the hospital because of her. Grown men, that weigh a hundred pounds more than her. Morgan is no respecter of size, or skill, or strength. She destroys whatever falls in the way of her aimless pass. SOPHIE Quel est votre point? LORELEI The point I’ve made here is that you haven’t a hope in the world of beating Morgan. She’s far too dangerous for the likes of you. SOPH IE Je ferai mon meilleur! LORELEI Your best isn’t good enough. You need me. MAGGIE Why the heck does she need you, she punked you and took your title. LORELEI Quiet, Nerdly number 10! Sophie without my knowledge of Morgan and her various weakness you fail, and you will be brutalized. I’m your only hope for victory. SOPHIE I do not believe you truly care what happens to me. LORELEI I have to admit I do have some selfish intentions. I need to teach Morgan that she is nothing without me. If she doesn’t have someone to guide her around, she will crumble. She thinks Leon Rodez loves her? What a joke, he cares about no one. I must make her regret leaving my care. That means one way or another I will be involved in your women’s title match. Lorelei walks away in a huff, with Maggie and Sophie watching her and shaking their heads. TONIGHT'S MAINEVENT DUNCAN FAMILY BREAKDOWN KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN VS D*LUX TONIGHT!

Damn your man O'Green got caught up holding it down at the clubs last night. I was up there from 8 to 3, got home at 4 something and just woke up. Just out there stepping correct for Team OAOAST.

From Memphis, Tennessee!

I may do Rico Vs Outhouse Jack if no one is using Jack for a squash match. remember the show is being posted tomorrow night so you have plenty of time to do stuff.

Brought to you by American Express Taped: Recently First air date: More recently Announce team: Tony Schiavone and Jesse "The Body" Ventura Lead corespondent: Tony Brannigan Theme song: Kat DeLuna-Calling You Welcome to the most watched in syndication…OAOAST Syndicated! Tonight’s episode sees the OAOVW superstar Eskimo Kid retry is luck and skills against The Enterprise’s Christian Wright. Also on the card the in ring debut of the Can Am Assassins against the Orange County Cobra, and a Women’s title shot for Megan Skye. ***Christian Wright Vs The Eskimo Kid*** Before their third match in a row, CW promised that if EK were to beat him, he’d relinquish his spot in The Enteprise, give it to the Kid, and also give him five thousand dollars. EK said he didn’t care about all that, he just wanted to prove himself to the OAOAST Marks. Wright dominated during the early stages off the bout , with powerful kicks and high impact holds. But EK fought back out of a sleeper hold and impressed with some basic high flying attacks. But a top rope body splash was countered with raised knees by Wright, and The Natural was able to retake control. He overpowered EK, nearly beatig him into submission. But EK fought back courageously and was able to assail Wright with punch, back elbow and several head scissors. But a top rope axe handle was countered into a Wright Off (sky high) for another victory for The Enterprise member. Winner: Christian Wright via pinfall. Megan Skye did an interview with lead broadcast correspondent aka the dude who gets the paid the most, Tony Brannigan. Megan claimed that her experience was far greater than Sophie, and that it would easily lead her to her first reign as Women’s Champion. She also sarcastically wondered if winning a title would reflect her will on her on Landon's next employee evaluation. OAOAST Q&A! Who is the best athlete in the OAOAST? Tony Brannigan: Unquestionably Quentin Benjamin. He’s the most athletic kid I’ve seen in my years of wrestling. Jesse Ventura: Theodore Moneymaker is an NCAA championship wrestler and a star running back at Yale. Don't get much more athletic than that. Coach: That’s easy! Mister Dick. My boy Jock should’ve been in the running for a Heisman but stupid ol coach kept suspending him and made him ride the bench. Terry Taylor: Well, Krista was an all American all four years she played soccer at UCLA. And Alix was a star goal keeper on the soccer team as well as a star catcher on the softball team. Michael Cole: I think Quentin Benjamin or Mister Dick rank fairly high up there. Slight edge goes to Mister Dick Simon Singleton: You can make a good case for Quentin Benjamin. You don't get a feel for how athletic he is until you compete side by side with him. ANGLESLAM 2009! ORANGE COUNTY COBRAS VS VICE OAOAST TAG TITLES, LDC MONEYGANG VS TEAM HEYROSS OAOAST WOMEN’S TITLE, SOPHIE GREY VS MORGA NERDLY OAOAST WORLD TITLE, KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN VS LEON RODEZ PLUS SO MUCH MORE! San Juan, August 31st ***Orange County Cobras w/Molly Nerdly Vs The Can-Am Assassins*** Strutter and Simon started off a match between two red hot tag teams. Strutter had the upper hand early with crafty arm work. But Simon came back with deep arm drags and even got a near submission on an armbar. Simon then tagged Ned into the contest who dizzied Strutter with a sunset flip. Blanchard then continued working on Sturtter’s arm until the Canadian was able to bat him away with a running elbow strike. The tag was then made to Pantera, who received numerous boos upon entry. The two men fought with furious fist, until Pantera took the easy way out and tossed Blanchard from the ring. Ned lay on the mats in serious pain as we went to break. Returning from break, Singleton continued working over Strutter’s arm. Eventually Blanchard wanted back into the match, and his partner obliged his request. Blanchard entered the ring with a top rope lariat and from there proceeded to mercilessly pound on Strutter. Blanchard may have knocked the man completely out cold had it not been for interference from Pantera. The Atlanta native then tagged himself back into the contest and proceeded to showcase his scary power by working over Ned’s back. Pantera came dangerously close to submitting Ned with a full nelson, but somehow Ned found the strength to reach the ropes with his leg. A tag was made to Sturtter who gained some revenge as he stomped and pounded the weaken Cobra. Strutters attempt to hit the Thunder Bay Throttle was blocked by Ned, and the Cobra connected with an Anaheim enziguri, taking Strutter off his feet. Blanchard then made the tag to Singleton and all hell broke lose. The men were fighting with wild and hellish emotion, pulling not a single punch. Blanchard and Pantera took themselves over the ropes, and tumbling to the outside leaving Strutter and Singleton behind. Singleton hit a clap board leg drop after striking down Strutter with a powerbomb. But he never got the chance to make the pin as VICE dove into the ring. As the referee called for the bell to signify a no contest, CPA and Bosley brutally attacked their rivals. Post match, The Cobras cleared the ring of VICE, with Molly filming the ass whopping herself. NO WINNER, MATCH IS NO CONTEST SYNDICATED MEET AND GREET WITH… QUEEN ESTHER Who’s your dream date? I’d love to sail the seven seas with Collin Maguire Jr. He’s a bit brash but I bet I could tame his wild heart and make an honest man out of him. He’d carry me to our cabin, paint pictures of me, we’d eat breakfast in bed. How romantic! _____ needs to shut their mouth Oh I don’t think anyone should shut their mouth! Not as long as they’re willing to sing songs about love and happiness. Those are my two favorite things. Worst subject in Highschool I wasn’t very good with the sciences. Chemistry was just too awful to even speak about! A lot of explosions and a lot of mean nasty words from people’s who hair was burnt off. Favorite sport? I don’t like sports one bit! They promote the loser/winner mentality and I just want everyone to have a good time and be happy! In ten years I see myself____ Living in a castle with Collin with our three kids and two dogs, and every thing is just marvelous! ***OAOAST WOMEN’S TITLE*** SOPHIE VS MEGAN SKYE The match started with some slow matwork, the majority of which was controlled by Megan Skye. Sophie attempted to match the technical holds off Megan, but Skye’s ring experience brought Sophie much failure. Megan sent Sophie into the corner with an irish whip. However her charge only resulted in Sophie smacking her in the jaw with a raised knee. Sophie was able to assert control over the bout, until Megan reversed an irish whip and brought her in close for an exploder suplex. This bought Megan the advantage in the contest, and she used it to pummel Sophie with an array of kick based offense. Megan attempted to submit Sophie with a modified chicken wing, but Sophie found the strength and the courage needed to battle her way out that hold. But Megan staved off any comeback attack with brutal kicks. However, Sophie survived the blows and was able to begin her comeback attempt. The two girls traded punches and near falls for several exciting minutes. Megan dazed Sophie with quick crosses and then wound up for a spinning roundhouse. But Sophie ducked that hold and rolled Megan up for the 3 count! Winner: Sophie, via pinfall.

The hell you will! You'll write that segment this week. God damn it, soldier!

The opening promo shocked me, I thought MD and Reject were boiz, specially cause Reject wanted MD in the stable and Alf didn't. Is this the start of a face turn for MD? You'd think I'd know, but I don't Word. I thought the lyrics fit better given their managers ultra-positive upbeat attitude. So its a mixing off both worlds. Good blow off match, I was pulling for the LKOS, but alas Esther couldn't work her magic. It'll be interesting to see how danny and scott recover from this loss. They must face their trials with a brave heart. lolololololol get it guys????? Really loved the six man tag match. I liked how the CAE and J-MAX had the upper hand because of The Rockers confusion early on. I knew Holly's contract was expiring but I was still surprised at how KC introduced it. When Patty writes people read. Wow a title change! I never would've thought ThunderKid would beat Denzel. Took a lot of help from the DA, but wow, a surprising win. My guess was that Denzel would hold the thing all the way AP and maybe AM. Shows what I know! The United States title wasn't always around, but I forgot if there were two titles that got merged into it or did it just appear one day. lol at Maya, she makes a pretty good manager/cheerleader. Coach's comments about how she's better in one day than Jade's been in her entire career were funny. I think this good be a very fun storyline. Possibly short though, Maya has to go back to school soon!

HeldDOWN returns with Michael Buffer in the ring, cloaked inside a purple spotlight. BUFFER The following historic contest is for the OAOAST World Title….and it is one fall with a time limit of sixty minutes Motley Crue’s Wildside rumbles into the arena, accompanied the raucous noise of thousands of booing audience members. Dressed in jeans and a black shirt cropped to the chest with a Black and silver cloak around her shoulders. Malaysia snaps her whip at the camera, and laughs with joy over his fearful backtrack. BUFFER Introducing the challenger, from Edmonton. Alberta, Canada, representing the Deadly Alliance…..she is The Ultimate Combination Of Beauty And Beatdowns….MALAYSIA NERDLYYYYY! COLE This match is most certainly historic, the first time two women have ever faced each other for the world title. Malaysia heads straight to the ring, lashing her whip in front of her to frighten the front row audience. Reaching the squared circle, she dives into it and stares a menacing sort of stare at the referee. Diverting her attention away from him, she and pops up with arms raised high into the air to signal and oncoming triupmh. COLE Malaysia with a chance to bring the “big gold” as Reject called it into the Deadly Alliance. But I wonder how Mister Dick would feel about a Malaysia victory. COACH Or would Reject cash in his money in the bank contract on Malaysia? COLE That’s such a low and dirty move that I’m 100% sure Reject would do that. Gimme them bright lights, long nights High rise, overtime Gimme them bright lights, long nights Party till the sun is rising High rise, overtime Working 'till the moon is shining Hot guys, fly girls Never gonna say it I feel on top of the world, I feel on top of the world COLE Free of a curse, free of Theodore Moneymaker, our new world champion has to be feeling good! In tribute to MJ, Krista performs one of his concert entrances: KRISTA Dressed in white pants, a white blazer and white hat, slim and svelte dancers fill the stage to dance along with Krista’s bubbling entrance music. Krista herself wears a black mini skirt with a slit cut out on the right side to show off a crowd pleasing amount of leg, and a white dress shirt. But that dress shirt soon comes off… KRISTA COACH Daddy likey! Daddy likey very much! COLE Good god. Originally Krista was offered the night off by Josie, but being a fighting champion Krista refused that night off and said she’d take on anyone who signed up. COACH I bet she didn’t expect her old rival Malaysia to be the one getting the title shot. Krista glides across the ring apron, and then sends the home audience hunting for the baby oil with her upside down leg hanging trick. She kicks herself back up and then flips into the ring, where she holds the title high and proud with a warm smile. DING DING DING COLE This is not the first time these two have met and my guess is that it won’t be the last time either! “Okay, we’re not gonna have a repeat of the last time we fought, mostly because I forgot the nipple clamps, left them at my parents house, but also because we need some ground rules. Malaysia ignores Krista’s prattling and grabs her into a press slam position. “Rule number one, you will not throw me into those ropes!” Malaysia does just that, chucking Krista at the ropes. Fortunately for Krista she manages to land on top of them, stretched out on the third rope. “Rule number two, you will not kick me off these ropes!” You can most certainly guess what happens next, Malaysia takes her stiletto heels and dropkicks the fitness queen off the ropes. Krista falls onto ring apron, more dismayed than hurt. “Think Krista think, you have two masters degrees and you know people who know people who know people who know a dog that knows someone that won Jeopardy. Hmmm….rule number three you can’t spank me!” Falling for Krista’s reverse psychology, Malaysia takes a fistful of Krista’s golden hair and uses it to pulls her to the ring. With the roughness only a dominatrix can provide, Malaysia forces Krista onto her knee. Despite the submissive situation she finds herself in, Krista can’t help but giggle in anticipation. There’s no disappointment to be held by Krista though as Malaysia’s hands lay into her lucious bottom. Krista’s purrs of satisfaction come which each thwack created by Malaysia’s hands hitting her smooth tush. Krista even wiggles BUTT against Malaysia’s hand, urging her to spank harder and faster. This does not please Malaysia, as after all a dominatrix is supposed to inflict pain not happiness. Thus Malaysia ends the spanking in hopes of getting her whip to darken Krista’s erotic day. But taking her eyes off Krista was highly unwise, as Krista sneaks behind her to roll her into a pin. “Rule number four no kicking out off my pins!” ONE! Malaysia disregards rule number four and violently pushes herself out the pinfall. As Krista rises Malaysia greets her with pounding forearms against her bare back. Each shot causes Krista to cry out in pain as she staggers about the ring. After properly weakening Krista with the strikes, Malaysia hooks onto Krista’s selender waist with a waistlock. Her intent is too crush Krista’s neck with a German suplex, however she can’t bring herself to end the pleasure of Krista grinding her booty against her body. But pleasure soon turns to pain, as Krista uses the loosened grip to roll downwards and bring Malaysia down to the canvas. Quick to try and keep the Deadly Babe downed Krista rolls forward to hook her into a crippler crossface! Unfortunately for her and her fans, she’s an inch too close to the rope, and Malaysia is able to secure a grip on the bottom one. “I feel odd,” Krista remarks “I feel like I just used the finisher of a notorious murderer. But that would be silly, no one in wrestling would ever commit any sort of crime whatsoever.” COLE One thing about Krista’s matches, they don’t start out with any slow feeling out or any deliberate matwork, its 0 to 60 in the time it takes the bell to ring. You have to have the cardio of long distance runner to keep up with her, and lot of guys and girls who are used to starting off slow can't hang with someone who moves so fast from bell to bell. Two babes rise to their feet, each throwing heavy crosses at the other. Being the larger of the two, Malaysia is able to claim victory. Her reward is that she’s able to chuck Krista into the ring ropes. As Krista returns, Malaysia attempts to hip toss her to the canvas. But Krista’s supreme agility allows her to land perfectly on her high heels. She then knees a stunned Malaysia in the stomach to double her over. The fitness queen works the crowd into a frenzy, and then moonsaults backwards. Her descent sees her crash into Malaysia’s back, bringing her down to mat. Next Krista attempts a pinfall… ONE! Malaysia kicks out, and keeps her world title dream alive. COLE Only ones on these pinfalls. COACH What do you expect out of someone as tough as Malaysia? Malaysia’s face is red with fury, and as she rises she takes aim at Krista with heavy fire. She quickly wears down the blond bombshell and this permits her to grab hold of Krista’s hands and toss her into the ropes. When the fitness queen returns, Malaysia flips her over with a snap powerslam. As Krista groans over the pain, the referee drops down to make the count…. ONE! TWO! Krista gets a shoulder up and preserves her world title reign. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” the fans chant while Krista is placed in further danger with Malaysia bringing her to her feet. The ultimate combination of beauty and beatdowns tightens Krista’s head into a side headlock. That hold isn’t hold very long as Malaysia swings Krista over her side, landing her across the mat with the headlock still held tight. Pain is written across Krista’s face, and sweat drips down her body from the pressure of the murderous hold. COACH Krista’s in trouble, Mikey. No sympathy for me, though. Ain’t no reason to go out defending your title after a first blood match. For a smart chick sometimes Krista does some stupid stuff. COACH Krista is a fighting champion, when she was tag team champion she and Alix took on all comers, and now that she’s world champion she does the same. That's great for the world title and its great for these OAOAST Marks. Unable to push herself free of Malaysia’s Herculean strength, Krista is forced to try a submission of her own. And that submission is the time honored technique of tickling. Krista tickles any part of Malaysia’s body she can reach, desperate to be out the headlock. In spite of Malaysia’s best efforts to remain calm, Krista’s tickling brings out laughter from the normally stern woman. “Who’s a cute baby when she laughs? Who’s a cute baby when she laughs? Malaysia that’s who!” Krista chirps in her sweetest voice. The method is an odd one but it works to perfection as Krista’s tickling wins her freedom from Malaysia’s dominating hold. With great speed Krista moves to her feet. But she isn’t fast enough to avoid Malaysia who punts her in the ribs with a stiff kick. Debilitated by that harsh attack, Krista can only watch Malaysia take a run off the ropes. Coming back she steamrolls through Krista with a destructive shoulder tackle. While Krista lies on the canvas wondering if her organs are still in the right place, Malaysia makes another trek to the ropes. But as soon as she touches the ropes Krista rolls upright. This draws a smile across Malaysia’s face as she thinks she can devastate Krista with another shoulder tackle. But Miss California leap frogs the attack and Malaysia is forced to take another run off the ropes. But on her return Krista flourishes forward and connects with an enziguri that flips Malaysia head over heels! “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” Krista gets the booty bouncing and the fans cheering for her luscious cheeks before flipping into a moonsault onto Malaysia. As the fans pass along gigantic cheers, Krista makes the cover… ONE! TWO! Malaysia throws her shoulder off the canvas. There are boos from the audience, many believing that should’ve been three count. COLE Buns of steel moonsault not enough to keep Malaysia down in this HISTORIC contest. COACH It takes more than that to beat the Deadliest Babe in the OAOAST. Krista has to come up with someone better and stronger, and perhaps take off her skirt. Once again Malaysia is back to her feet before Krista. This lets her indulge her lust for violence as she happily pounds away on Krista’s back. “Scream for me, you little slut! Let me hear you scream!” “What did you just call me?” “A slut!” “Oh, I thought you might have said something insulting like 'Red Sox fan'.” Krista remarks and then uses her brief distraction to kick Malaysia away with a capoeria style spin kick. Malaysia recovers rather quickly though and charges in on Krista. This is no problem for the fitness queen who uses her superior speed to strike the dominatrix down with a spinning wheel kick! The fans put forth a mighty pop for Krista’s showing, but their cheers are dampened somewhat when an angered Malaysia shoots upright. But by the time Malaysia works the cobwebs out her head, Krista has already retreated to corner. There she leans against the turnbuckles wearing her sexiest and most seducing smile. She then cups her voluptuous breasts and indulges Malaysia’s fantasies by slowly licking her tongue around her bubblegum pink lips. “YEAAAAAA!” Krista’s little show does the trick, spurring Malaysia to move further so she can inflict an orgasmic pain on Krista’s perfect body. But Krista continues her plan, and scoots up onto the second rope. As Malaysia nears she flies backwards with a corkscrew moonsault that tumbles them both to the ground. COLE Krista with those big high flying moves that amaze and injure. Malaysia needs to find some way to slow her down. After smashing the canvas with a tightly curled fist, Malaysia leaps upward. Krista steps forward, but is quickly put on the backtrack as Malaysia takes a swat at her. Desperate to do any sort of damage, Malaysia lunges forward with a forearm. But Krista leaps into the air, hooking her legs around Malaysia’s arm and spinning towards her back. Within moments Krista is rolling down Malaysia’s body trying to haul her into a pinning situation. But Malaysia is firmly rooted in place and Krista’s exhausting exertion of effort does nothing to change that. Krista becomes more worried about her safety than a pinfall due to Malaysia reaching down and applying a double hand choke. While Krista gags and wheezes with all the air flying out her body, Malaysia hauls her off the mat and into the air. COLE Double handed chokeslam? That could end this historic match! But Krista is able to summon the agility needed to dropkick Malaysia in her muscular chest! The fans cheer with wild glee as Malaysia is backed against the ropes by the mighty strike. Krista takes a short moment to catch her breath, and once her health is replenished she makes a mad dash at Malaysia. However the violence prone Canadian sees her coming from the moment she starts her run. Thus, she lowers her body and uses her shoulder to upend Krista and send her flying over the ropes. The world champion attempts to brace herself for fall, but such an effort does nothing to shield her from the incredible anguish that comes upon her gruesome landing. COLE Folks, we’ll back shortly to see how this historic world title match will play out. Don't go away! COMMERCIAL The return from break sees Krista caught into a camel clutch by the empresses of pain. Her face is contorted by pain, and her teeth bite down hard on each other in an effort to survive the awful submission. Above is Malaysia, giddy over the pain she’s currently delivering. The fans roots on Krista, almost begging her to fight her way out this hold. Krista takes their support in earnest and tries to use it to break free of Malaysia’s grip. However, Malaysia herself immediately releases Krista. Yet she only does this so that she may deliver a violent kick to Krista’s head. Malaysia looks down on Krista holding her hands to her aching head, “Cry for me, bitch! I want to here you cry!” Angered over Krista’s lack of tears Malaysia runs off the ropes, returning to stomp Krista directly on her beautiful face. That pain isn’t enough to satisfy Malaysia, though. As such she yanks Krista to her feet by her arm, and then pulls her in close for a short arm lariat! A pin promptly follows… ONE! TWO! Krista kicksout! “YEAAAAAAAA!” COLE Krista is showing the same resiliency that got her the championship in the first place. COACH Only so long fake thugs can pretend. That means Krista ain't a real wrestler, she's a celebrity on a wrestling show, and she can't hold on to a real wrestler's title. Malaysia lifts Krista off the canvas and tightens her into a front facelock. Her hands grab hold of her skimpy skirt and soon she’s raising Krista high into the air. There’s a brief delay as Malaysia drags out the punishment by keeping Krista suspended in the air. From there she falls backwards and slams Krista against the canvas. The fans look on with horror on their minds as Malaysia attempts the pin… ONE! TWO! Krista throws her shoulder off the mat! “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” Malaysia picks Krista’s limp body off the ring floor, and uses her raw power to rush her all the way into the nearest corner. Krista hollers out her anguish, as the poorly protected metal cuts into her back. There’s little time for to recover, as Malaysia sends her across the ring and into the opposite turnbuckle. Krista lands with so much force, that the impact pushes her away from the ropes and straight towards Malaysia. This is perfect for the challenger as she scoops Krista up for a lethal sidewalk slam. But Krista’s agility wins out, as she’s able to swing her body behind Malaysia. There she locks in a reverse facelock and drives Malayisa downward with reverse DDT! “YEAAAAAAAAAA!” COLE Fantastic counter! But performers lie on the mat, Malaysia’s head ringing from the attack and Krista barely able to move. The referee begins a count. “1” “LET’S GO KRISTA! LET’S GO KRISTA! LET’S GO KRISTA!” “2!” LET’S GO KRISTA! LET’S GO KRISTA! LET’S GO KRISTA!” “3!” “LET’S GO KRISTA! LET’S GO KRISTA! LET’S GO KRISTA!” “4” “LET’S GO KRISTA! LET’S GO KRISTA! LET’S GO KRISTA!” Suddenly Malaysia is struck with a burst of energy and power that allows her a quick return to her feet. Though still bone weary and tired, Krista has little other choice but to rise to her feet. There Malaysia takes aim with wild punches that Krista narrowly avoids. She’s able to end Malaysia’s onslaught by going low and dropkicking her in the knees. Malaysia falls to all fours, anger filling out her face. Krista makes a run to the ropes, and when she returns her high heels slam into Malaysia’s skull! “Now you cry for me….bitch!” Krista taunts. COLE Krista is getting her second wind here, Coach. COACH Then she needs to hurry up and finish this match, don’t let Malaysia get back into it. Krista dives on top Malaysia for a cover! ONE! TWO! Malaysia throws her shoulder off the canvas just in time to keep her title hopes alive. She rolls to her feet, but comes underfire from hard punches from the world champion. But those strikes do Krista little good, as Malaysia nails her in the throat with an open palm strike! The crowd reacts with anger and disgust as Krista stumbles away, clutching her sore neck. Malaysia smiles, brought to ecstasy from her vicious assault. She continues to torment Krista, this time by leveling her a yakuza kick to the back. Malaysia then climbs onto the second rope, which brings out gasps of concern from the audience. She disregards her leather elbow pads and then flies forward with an elbow drop! But, Krista rolls out the way and Malaysia left to crash brutally into the mat. “YEAAAAAAAAAA!” Krista immediately gets to her feet as Malaysia returns to a sitting position. Miss California bounds off the ropes, and returns to batter Malaysia’s face with a furious knee strike! As the fans pop for the deadly move the California hottie Krista attempts a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Malaysia again kicksout, leaving both Krista and the Kansas City OAOAST Marks sorely disappointed. Malaysia hops to her feet, snorting a fearl growl at Krista. The world champion attempts to strike her down left crosses, but Malaysia easily shrugs off the blows and whips Krista towards the nearest corner. However, Krista delights her fans by leaping onto the third rope. She then flips backwards with a moonsault press! But, Malaysia somehow manages to catch her onto her shoulder. COLE We could be seeing a powerslam- “Oh no we won’t!” Krista shouts and then rolls her body forward, finding Malaysia’s head and snapping it off her shoulder with a modified version of the Eulogy/Diamond cutter. “YEAAAAAAAAAAA!” A pin follows! ONE! TWO! THREE! NO MALAYSIA KICKS OUT THE PIN! COLE Oh my, she almost had it! Malaysia is almost unstoppable Krista turns a troubling stare on the referee, but rather than berate him for the count she decides to teach him a lesson in numbers “Three is a magic number, Yes it is, it's a magic number. Somewhere in the ancient, mystic trinity You get three as a magic number. The past and the present and the future Faith and Hope and Charity, The heart and the brain and the body Give you three as a magic number. It takes three legs to make a tri-pod Or to make a table stand. It takes three wheels to make a ve-hicle Called a tricycle." “I think I got the point, thank you Krista” ”Good, don’t make me sing conjunction junction” “I will crush you, violate you!” Malaysia shouts. “Missing conjunction! Must sing conjunction junction! Activate singing program! Conjunction Junction, what's your function? Hooking up words and phrases and clauses. Conjunction Junction, how's that function? I got three favorite cars That get most of my job done.Conjunction Junction, what's their function? I got "and", "but", and "or", They'll get you pretty far.!” Tired of Krista’s bothersome singing, Malaysia takes a swipe at the fitness queen’s head. But Krista ducks that attack and quickly sweeps behind Malaysia. Her hands hook between her legs and she rolls her down with a schoolboy. But before the ref can count the fall, Malaysia reverses it into a pin of her own… ONE! TWO! Krista throws her shoulder off the canvas! “K-I-D! K-I-D! K-I-D!” Angered over her ability to finish Krista once and for all, Malaysia demonstrably stomps to the corner. She climbs atop the third rope causing severe worry to spread throughout the audience. But that fright quickly fades away as Krista leaps upward and swats Malaysia in the face with a spin kick! The blow nearly knocks her from her perch, but she stays upright albeit by falling into a seated position on the turnbuckle. COLE High risk, low reward for Malaysia! Working fast to try and not let Malaysia out her stupor, Krista runs up the top rope. She leaps into Malaysia’s face with tucked knees. Gravity drags them downwards and Malaysia’s head is violently rocked by the awesome KIDology(codebreaker)! “YEAAAAAAAAAAA!” COLE Top rope KIDology! I don’t believe it! Krista attempts what she prays will be a match ending fall… ONE! TWO! THREE! COLE She did it! DING DING DING The fans are ecstatic and they leap from their seats to celebrate the world champion’s triumph. All is not well for Krista however, as Leon Rodez wields her world title and slides into the ring! COLE Leon Rodez! Look out, Krista! Hearing similar shouts from the OAOAST Marks, Krista has enough time and space to dodge an attack from Leon. But no attack comes, Rodez instead keeps a calm icy demeanor as he stares with piercing eyes at Krista. Miss California’s eyes return the glare, looking like enflamed blue orbs. Both competitors remain silent, their harsh and embittered stares speaking everything that needs to be said. COLE Folks, the rivalry between champion and number one contender is heating up! See what will come of it next week on HeldDOWN~! FADE OUT

PRESENTED IN HD FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY -OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT- OAOAST.COM EXCLUSIVE! MOMENTS AFTER THE CHI-TOWN SPECACULAR As the caption reads, the show opens with exclusive footage of THEODORE MONEYMAKER throwing a tantrum inside the Enterprise dressing room. MONEYMAKER (sobbing) It’s not fair! It’s not fair! I should still be the champion! Me! CMJ He's a fahkin wreck, Spencah! SPENCER Got that right. I was gonna ask if I could get a raise, and now look at him. My raise is shot! CHRISTIAN Think not of your monetary deficiency, only of our disgraced captain and comrade. Lorelei tries to console Moneymaker but is shoved against the wall, startling the other E members. Moneymaker spots OAOAST cameras and pauses. MONEYMAKER Don’t you look at me! Moneymaker hurls a TABLE at the cameraman, which thankfully misses. The now former OAOAST Champion goes back to turning over furniture until Lorelei returns with his spiritual guide ABDULLAH NERDLY. ABDULLAH Brother Moneymaker, what troubles you? MONEYMAKER That sonuva bitch! He cost me the title. You saw it. Right? ABDULLAH We all saw it. Did we not? CW, Spencer, CMJ and Lorelei agree. CMJ Piece of shit that Blanchaad is. MONEYMAKER But he wasn’t the only one. There were more. Yes, more. I haven’t forgotten. They’ll pay. They’ll ALL pay! COLE Welcome to OAOAST HeldDOWN ladies and gentlemen! We've got quite the lineup planned for you tonight in Kansas City! Krista Isadora Duncan will defend her OAOAST World title against Malaysia, there will be number one contender match to determine who will face Sophie at Angleslam, plus so much more! The Wall by Kansas hits, and the Deadly Alliance make their way to the ring. Reject, accompanied by Melissa Nerdly, followed by Mr. Dick and Malaysia Nerdly, followed by Sandman9000, Thunderkid, and Arturas bringing up the rear. Everyone is dressed in black. COLE And here comes a jovial bunch, the Deadly Alliance! COACH And look, wearing all black! Obviously here to mourn the death of Alfdogg's career! The camera cuts to the ring, where there sits a coffin, with an arrangement of flowers standing behind it, and a picture of Alfdogg sitting center. COLE Oh, that's uncalled for! The DA enters the ring, and TK picks up the picture of Alf, wiping a mock-tear away from his eye, then sets it back down. Reject grabs a mic. REJECT Folks...we are gathered here today...to witness the death of a true legend. That's right...last week at the Chi-Town Spectacular, Alfdogg wrestled his very last match. But it's OK...while one legend has come to an end, a new one was born this past week...me. *crowd boos* REJECT As a matter of fact, that's TWO former World champions I've put an end to in the past three months. If you remember, at School's Out, we finished off Tha Puerto Rican in the Money in the Bank match. *crowd boos* REJECT And last week...well, double your pleasure, double your fun, as the run of Alfdogg was ended at the hands of me. *crowd boos* REJECT However...not everything came up roses for the Deadly Alliance last night. We had everything under control in that Battlebowl match...but somebody messed things up. Somebody didn't have their head in the game, you could say, and it caused things to fall apart. Hell, you could even say that somebody made a "Dick" move. COACH Hey, wait a minute... Mr. Dick looks at Reject with a confused look. Reject then turns to Mr. Dick. REJECT Yeah...I'm talking about you! I don't like where you're coming from lately. MR. DICK Hey, wait a minute. What happened last week was an accident. REJECT Oh, I'm sure it was. What about you partying with Moneymaker and the Enterprise, after he won the title? MR. DICK Well, he's been good to me in the past... REJECT In the past, Jock. You see... MR. DICK Hey. That's Mr. Dick to you. The crowd starts to buzz now. REJECT You listen to me. I'm the leader of this group, I'll call you what I will. The Deadly Alliance is all about the gold...the big gold. And anyone who has it...they're an enemy to us. Denzel Spencer is another example. I'm tired of that punk showing us up! That's why tonight, Thunderkid's gonna go out there and teach him a lesson by taking his title! MR. DICK How does he get a title shot? Spencer already pinned him once! THUNDERKID Yeah, well, this is twice he's eliminated you from a battle royal! REJECT He's got you there. Y'know, "fool me once" and all that. Master Blaster (Jammin') hits, and Denzel Spencer appears on the stage, to a big reaction. DENZEL So, you're all gonna teach me a lesson, mon? Well, you know wot, I thought I proved this wasn't no fluke! So, it looks like tonight, Thunderkid mon, you need a little refresher course! *crowd cheers* DENZEL And the instructor is me, Denzel Spencer! Get ready tonight, it's you who's gonna be taught a lesson, mon! Master Blaster (Jammin') plays Denzel back off, as TK is fuming in the ring. COLE Well, a big match booked for tonight, United States title, Denzel Spencer defends his title against the Deadly Alliance's Thunderkid! But all does not seem to be well in the Deadly Alliance! TONIGHT'S MAINEVENT HISTORIC FIRST: TWO WOMEN COMPETING FOR THE WORLD TITLE KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN VS MALAYSIA TONIGHT! COMING UP NEXT THE BLOW OFF CITIZEN SOLDIERS VS LAST KINGS OF SCOTLAND NEXT! COMMERCIAL

"Makes Me Wonder" by Maroon 5 hits and to the delighted cheers of young girls everywhere, at least everywhere in the crowd, boyband tag team sensations D*LUX make their way out. And... look nervous. Tyler and Shayne half-heartedly try their old poses out and manage to look rusty even at them. Following them out is Jade Rodez-Duncan. But it's Maya Blanchard-Duncan who, having stepped right in front of her older sister, manages to fire some confidence into Tyler and Shayne, getting them to head to the ring with a little energy. BUFFER The following tag team contest is set for one fall. On the way to the ring, from the state of Michigan. Being accompanied by their manager, JADE RODEZ-DUNCAN and apprentice-manager, MAYA DUNCAN BLANCHARD! Total combined weight, three hundred, seventy nine pounds... the team of "TREMENDOUS" TYLER and "SHOWTIME" SHAYNE... D*LLLLLLLUUUUUUUUUUUXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COLE D*LUX back on HeldDOWN~! We haven't seen them in a while and here's a little taste of why, MAYA CUT CUT CUT CUT!! The video abruptly ends and in the ring, Tyler and Shayne just stare blankly at the sonning recap they just watched on the big screen. MAYA Now, okay, that was... kinda embarrassing. Tyler and Shayne obviously agree, their heads hung in shame. Jade wonders to herself why Maya's got more mic-time on her first night than she had in her first few months. MAYA But, you know, I think all these great people here in Kansas City still love you guys! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COACH My god. She's 13 and she already knows how to work a crowd better than half the roster. MAYA You know, my Mom can do some cruel things sometimes. Like this one time, she'd hired this new housekeeper, Latino woman. And Mom thought she was stealing from us. Turns out she wasn't, Alix broke a couple of vases practising softball inside the house and was waiting until she'd won indentical vases on eBay before she told us. But, anyway right, Mom thought it was the housekeeper. So one day, she called her out to the swimming pool and hid behind something. Then, she takes this huge chunk of rock, right, and she thro... Jade starts making some frantic throat-cutting motions for Maya to cut off the story there. MAYA Anyway, the point is the housekeeper lived. Just about. And Mom can be cruel sometimes. But she was just trying to teach you guys a lesson. What you've gotta do now is move on. Get on with your lives. The housekeeper now plays centre for a wheelchair basketball team. And you guys are going to go back to being a super cool tag team again! This motivational speech seems to be getting through to Tyler and Shayne, who smile and nod. MAYA And anybody who laughs at you for getting sonned is going to have to answer to me! Some scattered laughter. MAYA Which means you're going to have to answer to my Mom. The laughter stops. MAYA Come on Kansas City, lemme hear ya! D LUX! D LUX! D LUX! "D - LUX!" "D - LUX!" "D - LUX!" "D - LUX!" COACH MEGA LOL. Maya's been here one day and already she's a better manager than Jade! COLE Maya certainly seems to have worked some positive energy into D*LUX and into this crowd. The chanting is eventually interrupted, as "Creeps" by Fedde Le Grand hits. The entrance stage fills with gold smoke that's penetrated by piercing beams of purple light. Into this smokey and heavily illuminated scene emerge the mysterious Conquistadors. The Conquistadors look to the skies, raising a necklace that Dos had been wearing, with some kind of voodoo doll on it. After giving their prayers they then walk through the sea of orange smoke to the ring, Dos putting the sacred symbol back around his neck. BUFFER And their opponents. From Port Au Prince, Haiti. Total combined weight, three hundred and thirty six pounds... the team of UNO and DOS... LLOOOOOSSSSSS... CCOOOONNQQUIIIISSSTTAAAADDOOORRRRSSSSS!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Apparantly, that necklace around Dos's neck is a statue of Orunla, the Santeria God of Fate, owner of divination and giver of wisdom to find solutions to all of life's problems. Of course, it could just be something Los Conquistadors picked up from a novelty store for three bucks. I'm just reading what's in front of me. Uno and Dos slide into the ring and confer with the wooden dool on their knees. D*LUX look on weirded out, while Maya blissfully bops along to the music. *DINGDINGDING* After a team conference, Tyler starts out, not looking terribly confident. He and Uno circle until Uno starts making some weird, spooky hand motions. COACH Uh-oh, he's hexin' him! Tyler looks confused, before booting Uno in the chest to a big cheer. Side headlock applied. Uno shoots Tyler off and gets knocked down with a shoulderblock. Tyler hits the ropes again and leaps over top, then underneath a leapfrog. As Uno turns around, he manages to catch Tyler with a hard slap, enough to disorientate Tyler. With Tyler shaken, Uno tries to whip him to the corner. Leaping to the middle rope, Tyler springs back with a crossbody... but Uno ducks. Tyler manages to catch himself, but as Uno walks out of the corner, Tyler turns away shaking his head and goes to his corner. COLE Tyler came up short on that crossbody and maybe looking for a second to think about things here. COACH He wouldn't have needed that second three months ago. Three months ago, he'd have layed Uno out the second he turned around. Krista's wrecked these poor saps. Talking things over with Shayne, Tyler still looks frustrated. From the outside, Jade tells him not to worry about it. COACH And that's what they couldn't cope without!? That level of managerial advice!? Lordy, lordy. Tyler goes back and locks up with Uno. He grabs another side headlock and gets shot to the ropes... and caught with a knee from the apron courtesy of Dos! Tyler limps away from the ropes into a standing dropkick from Uno. Cover... 1... 2... No! Tag made and Dos gets a free shot at Tyler. Sending him to the ropes, Dos lines Tyler up and connects with a flying back elbow. 1... 2... No! Dos strikes at the neck with Mongolian chops, before clamping his hands around Tyler trapezius area. COACH Ooh, a double nerve hold. Shame Tyler lost his nerve as of last month. With Tyler cringing in pain, Shayne is drawn into the ring to come help. The referee cuts him off though, allowing Los Conquistadors to switch! By the time the referee turns around, he's oblivious, unable to tell Uno from Dos. COLE A very dehabilitating submission move here. COACH And while Tyler suffers, his back-ups stand there looking dumb. Way to go guys! Tyler fights back to his feet, but Uno lets go and chops him in the back of the neck. A knifedge chop reels Tyler back to the corner, Uno quickly distracting the refreree. Shayne inadvertantly helps, as meanwhile Dos chokes Tyler from the outside, lighting up some kind of incense stick and waving the smoke across Tyler's face!! COACH Don't waste your curses on him Dos, he's already dead inside! A coughing and teary eyed Tyler leaves the corner, walking right into Uno. Applying a claw hold, Uno extends his other hand to the heavens, then sweeps Tyler down with the Slaughter House Point STO!! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE Only two, there's still plenty of fight left in Tyler! COACH You reckon? Cause I ain't seeing it. Uno casts a 'count faster' spell on the referee before tagging out. Sitting Tyler up, Dos traps him in the nerve hold again. Shayne and Jade look on nervously, Shayne already with his head halfway into his hands. Which doesn't set well with the apprentice-manager. Maya watches the pity party with her hands on her hips. And decides to do something about it, leading the crowd in a chant. "D - LUX!" "D - LUX!" "D - LUX!" "D - LUX!" And, lo and behold, it works! Tyler gets back to his feet, with some renewed energy. He starts punching Dos in the gut, causing Shayne to liven up. And the crowd are right behind Tyler as he hits the ropes, ducks underneath a clothesline and hits a leaping clothesline!! TYLER YEAH-UH~! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE I think the tide has shifted! COACH And it took a thirteen year old girl to remind these guys they're supposed to be professional wrestlers. LAME! Uno rushes into the ring to aid his Conquistador bretheren. And he catches Tyler from behind, cutting off the boybander. Clubbing at Tyler, he whips him to the corner, but Tyler runs to the top rope... and tricks Uno with the Auburn Hills Fakeout! Expecting a crossbody Uno dives for cover, allowing Tyler to jump off the top, rolling to his corner and MAKING THE TAG!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE And listen to this crowd as Shayne comes in! The D*LUX fans trying to bring out the D*LUX of old! In comes Shayne and he comes in swinging! He knocks down Uno and Dos repeatedly with right hands, fighting off both Conquistadors. As Uno and Dos try to group together, Shayne quickly runs the ropes and knocks them BOTH down with a high crossbody... 1... 2... Double kickout. Shayne throws a dropkick, one foot for each Conquistador and they stagger to the ropes. Waving him on, Maya encourages Shayne to stay on them. And he does, hitting another crossbody CAUSING ALL THREE TO TUMBLE OVER THE TOP TO THE OUTSIDE!! COLE WOAH! COACH What the hell has happened to D*LUX!? Climbing out of the heap, Shayne motions to the crowd. Showtime reaches down and picks Los Conquistadors up, holding them in place. And Tyler follows him out over the top KNOCKING LOS CONQUISTADORS DOWN WITH A PLANCHA!!! COACH Seriously, did they switch places with a good D*LUX while I wasn't looking!? Los Conquistadors are thrown back into the ring by D*LUX, who climb back to the apron. Heading to the top rope, they point each other out, before connecting with STEREO MISSILE DROPKICKS!! Uno is rolled out of the ring, leaving Dos two on one. The boybanders watch as Dos struggles to his knees, then rock his world with SURROUND SOUND dropkicks! Maya performs a victory dance. Not wanting to risk a DQ, Tyler exits to the apron and takes a tag, buying D*LUX five more seconds. And they use them wisely. Shayne rolls Dos back into a wheelbarrow from Tyler. Showtime then hits the ropes, Tyler lifting Dos up and Shayne hooks him with a running diamond dust style stunner!! COLE The D*LUX Capacitor! Cover by Tyler... 1... 2... 3!!! *DINGDINGDING!* So relieved to have won, D*LUX celebrate as if they'd just won the Tag Team Titles. COLE D*LUX, back to winning ways with their new management team! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, here are your winners... SHOWTIME SHAYNE and TREMENDOUS TYLER... D * LLLLUUUUUUXXXXXXXXXX!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" Tyler and Shayne embrace and jump up and down with glee. And Maya jumps in to join the victory hug, clearly getting the credit for D*LUX's turn around. Jade, the responsible big sister, removes Maya from between the boyband bodies. COLE A shaky start, but a victory for D*LUX. And boy did they need that after School's Out. COACH You can say it's down to a management team, but I didn't see much teamwork there. It was Maya. Maya is already a better manager than Jade ever was! Ever! I dread to think what happens when she's old enough to wrestle! She'll make Jade look like Biff Atlas! D*LUX show their gratitute by taking Maya and lifting her onto their shoulders. Proving she's very much the daughter of her mother, Maya does an awful job of looking humble and happily takes the plaudits. While Jade tries not to look left out in the background. D*LUX notice this and thank Jade for all her help as well, which as a token gesture doesn't really do much good. COLE What irony. After the humbling from Krista, could Krista's two daughters be the guiding force behind the D*LUX revival? And, speaking of Krista, she's up next, World Title on the line, Krista versus Malaysia, that is NEXT! *COMMERCIAL BREAK*

Backstage we find The Heavenly Rockers and Abdullah after their match. Abdullah sits with an ice-pack pressed against his head, while Logan is on a cellphone in a bad looking mood. LOGAN Man where the hell is she!? SYNTH Calm down, my brother. May peace be with you. LOGAN I'll show you peace in a minute, you son of a... *phone beeps*... Yo, Holly! Pick up the phone, I wanna know where you're at! Right now! When The MACHO Macho Mann calls you, you pick up! You hear!? Logan snaps the phone shut, pointing an unprovoked finger in Synth's face. Synth, being all spiritual and such, stays completely relaxed with his volatile partner. LOGAN I tell you man, if anything's happened to her, somebody's gonna pay. PAAAY! Logan's rant quickly stops, as OAOAST President Josie Baker walks into shot. JOSIE Can I have a moment guys? ABDULLAH Certainly, Miss Baker. Abdullah tries stands up, in reverance to his boss, but suddenly feels dizzy and almost falls over. He does his best to cover it, but gets a funny look from Josie as Synth wraps an arm around Abby to prop him up. JOSIE I'm sorry I couldn't get around to this sooner, but I had to attend a meeting with the board of directors. There's been a bit of a hold-up with Holly's contract talks. Which explains why she isn't here. I... overhead you talking. LOGAN IS THAT SO? JOSIE Times are tough and I'm sure you understand the financial restrictions I'm under. Holly's contract ran out a couple of days ago. So, until Holly lowers her contract demands and accepts our offer, I'm afraid she's no longer a part of the OAOAST. LOGAN WHAT!? Logan tries to get in Josie's face and is quickly calmed down by Synth. LOGAN What are you talkin' about woman? That's my wife, The MACHO Macho Mann's wife, no-one messes with The MACHO Macho Mann's wife. What's this about Baker? She was ready to sign two weeks ago and now all of a sudden, you wanna play hardball? JOSIE Maybe you could talk to your wife and let her know my position, Logan. Until then, we've got to concentrate our efforts into other employees. ABDULLAH Like who? 'Coincidentally', at this point MAYA DUNCAN BLANCHARD walks past and waves at The Heavenly Rockers. MAYA Hey guys! Hi Josie! Logan's eyes bug out. MAYA Keep on truckin' ya'll! (starts playing air guitar) #I want to rock! dundunnadun, dundunnadun, dundunnadun I want to rock! dundunnadun, dundunnadun, dundunnadun I want to rock!# As Maya skips off, Logan's eyes remain bugged. LOGAN You can't be serious! JOSIE *shrugs* Sorry guys. Josie leaves, with both Rockers and Abdullah all looking stunned. Rise Aagainst-Re-education (through labor) To the sound of a heartbeat pounding away To the rhythm of the awful rusted machines We toss and turn but don't sleep Each breath we take makes us thieves Like causes without rebels Just talk but promise nothing else CMJ leaps off the turnbuckles and decimates Simon with a flying elbow! Tyler Bryant spikes Uno's head off the canvas with a violent DDT. We crawl on our knees for you Under a sky no longer blue We sweat all day long for you But we sow seeds to see us through 'Cause sometimes dreams just don't come true We wait to reap what we are due Spencer Reiger stands atop the highest turnbuckle and rips open his Ed Hardy jacket to reveal toned and chiseled abs. Maggie rushes across the ring and nearly tears through Holly with lethal spear. To the rhythm of a time bomb ticking away And the blare of the sirens combing the streets Chased down like dogs we run from Your grasp until the sun comes up Morgan fires a helpless and defenseless backstage worker. An emotionless look settles onto her face. We crawl on our knees for you Under a sky no longer blue We sweat all day long for you But we sow seeds to see us through 'Cause sometimes dreams just don't come true Look now at what they've done to you Overjoyed with the grand accomplishment of defeating Krista, Mister Dick raises his arms in pride and smiles to heavens, a thank you for his greatness. White needle's buried in the red The engine roars and then it gives But never dies 'Cause we don't live We just survive On the scraps that you throw away D*LUX nails twin planchas on Faqu and James Blonde. I won't crawl on my knees for you I won't believe the lies that hide the truth I won't sweat one more drop for you 'Cause we are the rust upon your gears We are the insect in your ears We crawl We crawl We crawl... all over you Jade pumps her fists in excitement after laying out Lorelei with a devastating superkick! We sow the seeds to see us through Our days are precious and so few We all reap what we are due Under this sky no longer blue We bring the dawn long overdue We crawl We crawl We crawl... all over you AUGUST, 31st COMMERCIAL